S4E11: The Let Them Theory - The Let Them Era is here + Parenting Appendix

Let Them. Let Me. Now what?

You’ve read the book.
You’ve heard the ideas.

But what do you actually take with you?

In this final episode of The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, we wrap everything up from parenting to the real impact of the book as a whole.

We talk about:

• how “let them” actually applies to parenting (and where it falls short)
• why change always starts with you, not your child, not your partner
• the balance between letting go and stepping in
• and what it really means to support someone without trying to control them 

We also get honest about the book itself:
👉 what worked (and what didn’t)
👉 why simplicity can be both powerful and frustrating
👉 and how reading together changed the experience entirely

Because in the end, this isn’t really a book about other people.
It’s about you.

How you react.
How you show up.
And what you choose to do next.

Let them be who they are.
Let me decide who I want to be.

This episode is about taking the insight –
and turning it into something that actually changes your life.

📚 Book: The Let Them Theory

📚 Chapters: The Let Them Era is here + Parenting Appendix

___________________________________________________________

👯 Hosts: Sofia Stigendal & Marielle Almquist
🎧 Editing: Elmer Hermansson
📲 Follow us on Instagram & TikTok @bookbright_podcast
— and don’t hesitate to reach out with your reflections and thoughts.

BookBright: Review, Rethink & Rewrite your story – one book at a time!

Get a book brief for each episode: https://bookbrightpodcast.com/bookbrief 

Transcript

0:00

The what she's talking about isn't something new. It's not a new under the sun or it's not rocket science. But it's a it's a good book in the perspective that it's a good reminder for you to just don't react to use let them. It's a really really good reminder, and it's also a really really good book if you are new in personal development. If you are at the beginning, like oh, I'm I'm just touched personal development. The first thing in my life, this book will make a big change. Open a page, unlock your mind, grow a little brighter, one book at a time. Stories that change you, wisdom that sticks. Welcome to Book Write, your personal growth fixed. Welcome to Book Bright, the podcast that goes old school on personal development. We don't just read books, we live them. One chapter at a time. We're Sophia and Marielle. Two suites, imperfect English included, balancing kids, dogs, and business life while diving into international bestsellers. And here's the thing: the book on your nightstand won't change your life until you do something with it. That's why we're here. To unpack, apply, and sometimes stumble our way through the ideas together. On the road to making it applicable, this is personal development. Live that loud. Open a page, unlock your mind. Grow a little brighter, one book at a time. Stories that change you, wisdom that sticks. Welcome to Book Bright, your personal growth phase. Welcome to a new episode of Book Bright. We are deeping dive, deep diving, deeping dive, deep diving into the Latin theory by Mel Robbins. And unfortunately, it is the last episode. And hello, Sophia. And hello. Hello. You are here. And I'm so glad that we are sitting here again this week. And it's Friday, and it's a really, really nice day. Yeah, absolutely. Yes. And it's the last episode for the let them. It almost sort of sounded like it's this final episode for Book Bright. No, no. No. It's the final chapter for the Letham Theory and the final episode on that theme or that book. Yes. And it's kind of sad, but at the same time, we are really, really looking forward to the next book. Yeah. I always have this sort of double feeling when we come to an end of a book. Like, okay, so it's ending. Um and that is sort of like, okay, whew, now it's ending. But it's also like I can't wait for it to end because I'm so sort of done with it and I want to move on. Yes. To something else, to something new. But having said that, we should start with the wins, right? Yes. What is your win? Oh, so I'm going to start. All right. Okay. So I know that I am so up in the sky with this, and I'm talking about it all the time. It's about my silent retreat. And you know what? We we talked we talked about it last uh the last episode last week. Yeah. But now this week I have like going out. I have posted about it and and I have been telling the world that I am going to do this silent retreat. And and you know what? The response on my post on both Instagram and LinkedIn, it's it's insane. People are like, yes, this is so good, I want to go. And I was like, What? It's it's a year. But that's what I say. I'm so happy to hear that because that I mean that's what I said. Like, this is in sort of you're in the right timing for this. I think people are craving something different when it comes to personal development and something like doing something even deeper. And there is such a noise all around us all the time. Yes, and all this information that just sort of, you know, we're just swimming in information and knowledge to sort of understand and to implement and stuff like that, so that when you come and you say, like, okay, so you want to have a silent retreat, you want to be just be and don't have to talk to anyone because you're not even allowed to? Yeah, people like, yeah, yeah, I would do that in Tuscany and the mountains and Indonesia. Also, oh my god, and I'm so happy that people are happy that I am doing this. Oh, but that's awesome. So, do you have like a people that are sort of interested being on that list of knowing more when it comes or booking all day or what? Like, yes, and I have, and and of course, I posted this week, and they have to like check their schedule and their life because it's in a year and so on. But I have I have been writing to them just so you know, it's so many people that are interested, and I only have 11 spots, yeah, only 11, and then they're gone. It was one one was like, I am going. When do I need to sign up? Uh in the last you can take your time, but it's only 11 spots, you know. So, yeah, I'm so oh exciting. Oh, that's awesome! That's so awesome. Yes, so and can I can I write a book about silence? What will that pages? If Mel Robin wrote a book about let them, how will my book look like? Silence pages with young words. You start with a blank page, like yes. This is what silence looks like. Yeah, go for it, go for it. That would be something. I I don't think anyone else hasn't done a book like that. The silence with empty pages, yes, yeah. Take your time and just take it in. Yeah, don't rush the book. Okay, I am so uh you know, I am now we're sort of spiraling here, but yeah, sorry. But my winning week when it came to the signing routine. That is your vibe. People are signing up already a year in advance. That's awesome. Hi five! Yes, air five, yeah. Oh yes, that's really nice. That's my win. So, okay, and to you, what's your win? Okay, so my win, I told you last week that I had done like an LP course, and LP NLP training, yeah. And this week I had a a call with a friend, uh, and it was like a very um dramatic conversation, uh, in the sense of what my friend was dealing with. And it was so, I mean, my win was that I'm usually quite good at sort of like being the calm one. If you're in panic, I will be super calm, right? Yeah, um, but my win in this was that all the different tools that I have learned through NLP, they sort of just, you know, through this conversation conversation, they sort of just circled around, like, okay, so maybe I should say this now, or maybe I should do this now, in a conversation that was really, really intense. Oh, wow. And it was not a coaching session, it was not in what you usually say is coaching. Um, it was more like, okay, so I'm talking to my friend and I am able to use some some tools here that not only um is a win for me that I had sort of the ability to bring those forward in that kind of conversation, but also that I actually could help her in a deeper level than I would have done if I had not learned those techniques, right? Okay, so I actually helped her with something, wow, uh not just being a friend who's listening. That's it. And that was really I was really like not only proud after that call, but I was also sort of like emotional. Like, okay, I have learned stuff that actually can help me in a situation like this. Wow. Yeah, uh, so that's my that's my win. Wow, that's a really, really good win. Yeah. I'm so glad. I'm so glad for you. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay, so are we going to go to the book? Yes. Let's go to the book, the final chapter, and like sort of the conclusion and our take on this book, I guess. Yes. So I will start to talk about because uh the the book we have done all the chapters, but at the end, the book had this appendix uh that is called How to Apply the Let them to Parenting. Yeah, uh, and we want to talk about that because I have been reading through that, and yes, so we are going to talk about that, and then we are going to sum this book up and yeah, made a conclusion and our thoughts about the book. About the book. Yeah. Alright, so I will start to the appendix because this part is something that you both you and me have been really like looking forward to. Yeah. Okay, so how can we apply this to the book? And especially when she has mentioned it in the chapters, and she has said that okay, so it's uh it's very important that you don't take the let them uh on your kids. You have to read appendix, yeah. So we were so we have been like, Yay, now we're going to read it, and yeah, so I will take that through and then we will discuss about it. Yeah, yeah. Was it that good as she is saying or not? Okay, so uh so as I said, and this section uh explains how the Latin theory applies to parenting. And the core idea is simple. Change starts with you, not the other person, as in this case, not your kid. Because even the best strategies don't work if you're emotionally overwhelmed. And with kids especially, emotions can escalate quickly when they when they lose control, it often triggers you to lose control too. And that's why it starts, the change starts with you. So the first step is to learning to manage your own emotions, and the philosophy behind this approach is people do well if they can, not if they want to, but if they can. Remember that I will say it again, people do well if they can, not if they want to, if they can. So if your kid is struggling or acting out, the answer isn't more pressure, the answer is more understanding, more listening and flexibility. And that's where the let them comes in. Most of the time, especially when it's not when it's not a big deal, you let them make their own choices. You let your kid to wear the clothes that your kid wants to wear, what activities he or she wants to do, and how to approach things. Because autonomy builds internal motivation and people grow when they feel ownership over their lives, even the kids. It's not only to adults, even the kids. But let them doesn't mean anything goes. If something is dangerous or harmful, you will step in, of course. And that's where let me comes in, not let me control them, but let me work with them. And here is where it's the difference between the let them theory that we have been reading in the chapters and what you will do with your kids. So let me work with them. Because trying to force someone, whether it's a child or an adult, usually creates resistance and power and power struggles. And even if forcing works short term, it doesn't solve the real problem or build long-term skills. Instead, the goal is collaboration. You start by observing the situation without blame. You get curious about what's going on from their perspective, you share your own concerns, and then you solve the problem together. Not me versus you, but us versus the problem. This approach builds trust. And that's this is really the essence of it all. Let them have let them have their feelings, let them have their choices and let them have their learning process. And when needed, step in, stay calm and work with them instead of trying to control them. Because that's how you support someone while still helping them grow into someone who can stand on their own. The end. So it was like the summary of the epics. Yeah. So yeah. Your thoughts about this? Yeah. I mean, like, looking at the the what they are actually saying, like, yeah, of course, this is really good. Like, yeah, you should let the kids have their learning process and have their feelings and let them have their choices of stuff that are not killing them. Uh, and like let me work with them and collaborate with them and stuff like that. Yeah, I totally agree with that. Um, having said that, I'm a bit like, isn't this sort of just parenting one-on-one? Isn't this sort of just yeah? This is like and I don't know what I was expecting, but I think that you know, the buildup for this, I because maybe it's because both you and me are like really interested in like, okay, how can we do with our kids? How can we sort of bring on the all the learnings that we are doing to our kids? Uh, so it's a buildup from that point of view. But also, I mean, she says, like you said, in the like she says in the book that you know, I don't want you to go to think about this right now because I I think this is such an important subject that I have brought in like a specialist who's like really expert within this area, so not to get it wrong, and I have an appendix about that, and so I have been really like because that is the append that appendix is what I have been wanting to read this entire process of this book because I'm so interested in like okay, how can I do with my kids? And then to read it, I'm like, is this it? I know I'm really harsh here now, but you know to be honest, I am so disappointed. I am so so disappointed. I know that I have to talk to my kid and to like uh collaborate. I know, yeah, and you don't only know that you do that, like yes, okay, and and I don't know. I will say you can use if we are just if you're going through this appendix about the parenting thing with your kids, I will say that you can use the book let them, even to your kids. But it's but only think about like okay, you have to work with them, uh you have to talk with them, yeah. Just add that, yeah. And honestly, she could have added that in the sentence when she talked about like how do you apply this to kids? She could have just added that, like it's two sentences, like, okay, so let them do stuff, uh, have their feelings, have their learning processes. Uh, unless it's not killing them or it's really harmful, let them and then collaborate on the solutions. Yeah, like it's literally like two sentences. Yeah, like come on. I know, I'm so disappointed. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what I what to expect, what I did expect, but I think at some point when I read it, I was like, okay, but I would love to have different perspectives. Okay, so you are in this situation, but your kid is like, okay, you are trying to solve this problem together, but the kid is acting out or don't listen to you, or I don't know, just go to more details more deeper in different situations. Yeah, because like honestly, if we're going if we're sort of transferring a little bit into also like the take on the entire book, um um because we have said that before, like, okay, she she has this sentence, let them, let me, and that builds the entire book. And in one sense, I mean you could have written a book much thinner than this book uh and still have sort of said the same thing. The essence is let them let me, and given different examples of that. So, in one perspective, I am not that um surprised that this appendix is what it is, but on the other hand, like the buildup of saying, like, I'm bringing in an expert, sort of hired my expectations, but also like she could have so easily like the concept of this book is really easy, like it is this core essence, but she's making it more like each chapter has all these different sort of uh diving into is it relationships, is it with your friends, is it how do you deal with this in practice? And she could so easily have done, as you say, like a chapter of okay, let them and what apply to kids and sort of gone into more of the mundane, the the everyday situations and just like she has done when it comes to relationships and friendships and all of that, right? Yeah, yeah, yes. I sort of would have appreciated that more, even though it's really easy, but the whole concept of this book is really easy, it's it is really easy, yes. I agree. So totally doing it like an appendix this way with an expert, and it doesn't really say anything, then I'm like, okay, then you should not always have you should not not even have had it in them. No, exactly. Yeah, don't even have it. No, ah okay, so to go to the book in the wholeness, yeah, the conclusion of the book, the conclusion of the book uh is that it is all about you, it's not about the persons around you, it's all about you, and you have the power within you to make a difference, and it's about how you will react or not react to the situations that you are in, and to really like letting it go. And you can you cannot change someone else, you can only change yourself. That's like the the yeah, conclusion and the essence of of the. Book, yeah. And the tools is let me let them let me. Yeah. So what are your thoughts about the book and the wholeness, Sophia? Well, I I I think I was already sort of into that when saying that it is an easy book. You could have written it much with much fewer words and chapters. Um so, in one sense, it's it's longer than I think is necessary, like okay. Uh so in one way I'm like, okay, this was not the greatest book I have read because it was so much repeating the same sort of topic. On the other hand, um, but that has more to do with like how you approach a book. And I think that since you and me have read it together, we're always sort of looking for the next layer, that deeper meaning and stuff like that. And I think that for me has been sort of the the salvation for this book. Yes. That if I have been reading this by myself, I do not think I would have finished it. I'm honest here, right? No, me neither. I would not have finished it. Um but just going about it the way that we have done it, like you're actively searching for, okay, so how can I really bring this into my life? Like, how can I really take learning from this and reading a chapter again and again and again? But that is more like the process within us rather than the book encouraging my learnings towards him. Yes, yes. This this is um it's not the what she's talking about, isn't something new, it's not a new under the sun or it's not rocket science, but it's a it's a good book in the perp perspective that it's a good reminder for you to just don't react, let them, to use let them. It's a really really good reminder, and it's also a really really good book if you are new in personal development, if you are at the beginning, like oh, I'm I'm just touched personal development in the first thing in my life, this book will make a big change, and she is making it very simple, as you said. Um but at our level, when we are talking about books in Book Write, we would really love to have a more, I don't know, book in a higher level level, or I don't know what to say, I don't know, I don't know the words, but do you know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean, but like this is not, I mean, from the point of view of us reading books to further our uh entrepreneurial journey or our parenting journey or stuff, yeah. But like in all the different parts of our life, sort of making our the next level. Uh I don't and even in Book Bright, like coming together and making Book Bright better, it doesn't really shift in that sense. Yep. Um but as you say, I think it's a good, it's a good book from the point of view that she is an expert of making things really uh simple and really easy to digest. And I I do like the idea of like having from one perspective, I do like the idea of taking one concept and sort of like let me let them, and then putting that in this in the middle, and then having all the different perspectives that you can have in life and sort of diving into okay, so what does that mean in all the different aspects of your life? I sort of like the concept of it, um, yes, because that is something you seldom see, like okay, um, like even like even uh uh it's another way of writing a book, it's another way of introducing concept. Like if let's see if if um Daniel uh Sullivan and uh Benjamin Hardy would have written 10x is easier than 2x in the same manner, it sort of would have been like, okay, so their concept is 10x is easier than 2x. If they have put that in the middle and sort of said, okay, so how does that look like when it comes to having the best um loving relationship? How does that look like when it comes to being an entrepreneur? How does that look like, or in your career? How does that look like in friendship? How does that, you know, you could have done that, they did not do that, they had another view of how they wanted to present things. So yeah, in that sense, I sort of like it. It's another way of sort of introducing a concept. Yes, it's a really as the the concept is good, what she's saying is good, and it's a good reminder. And and I really, really like Mel Robbins, I really do. Uh, and we in Book Bright are looking, we only read books that are like the best sellers in the world, yeah. And this book is only a best seller because it's written by her. Yeah, but the way she does it as well, I guess. I mean, because yeah, but she's a big name, yes. Yeah, and and yes, and that's what uh like if someone else, if I had been reading it, it wouldn't be the top seller book. Yeah, you know, yeah, but I don't think it's because of her fame or but because she's because the book has made her even more famous than she was before. That's her biggest breakthrough, like writing the book. I think it is because she is really natural at sort of making things really stupid simple, you know, like there is this saying like uh kiss, keep it stupid simple. It's an anagram or something like that, and she's like the queen of that. Like yes, in her podcast, she breaks it down and she sort of unpacks difficult subjects, and I think that's what she that's what when you say like this is a good introduction to how you can start thinking about yourself and further growing yourself. I think that is what she does, like that is why it's a big hit because it really makes it all about your everyday life. How can you apply something in within personal development? Let me let them in your everyday life, and she really breaks it down. Uh so I think that is like the the the major key as to why it has been selling so much. Yeah, yeah, probably. Uh I read somewhere that she actually sells like 50,000 copies of this book each day. Wow. That is like crazy, crazy. Crazy, yeah, totally. One thing that I really like with the book though, is that she has invited and and she has interviewed per uh experts and and uh scientists, yeah, throughout that is something really really good because uh it makes it more truthful. Yeah, it makes it have like more substance than just her stories about her life and how she has sort of dealt with stuff and yeah with concerning let me let them. Yeah. But I also think like that is also people love to have not only like the the breaking it down to everyday life, but sort of coming behind the curtains and sort of having a real live person actually opening up as much as I actually think she has done in this book. I mean, she has been saying all I mean giving us examples of not only her closest friendships and how she has felt in that, but also like her daughter and her family and how they have sort of reacted and how they have used the let them, and that's really sort of a vulnerability in the things that she shares, and I think that is also something that makes it more relatable and makes people also want to read it even more. Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah, she's really yes, um that that is if you who are listening haven't buyed if you didn't bought the book and you didn't read it uh, but if you want to get to know Mel Robbins a little bit more in the deeper level, you should really read a book because she is talking about her life, and that is really, really, really, really great and nice. Yeah, and you don't often see like big famous people breaking it down in such a like you know, you can always hear these big defining moments of their lives, and they make a really good storytelling about it. I'm sort of exaggerating it, but still, sort of like that. Um, but she really invites you to her very personal life, yeah, yeah, yes. Um, so yeah, you uh you do get to know her a little bit more as a real human person, not to say that she wasn't in the beginning, but like yeah, and that's why she is so huge and great, and everyone loves her because she is so authentic, yeah, really relatable in that sense. Yes, so so okay, the book has pros and cons, or the book is good, um, it is, but it's a yeah, it has pros and cons perspective. Yeah, as with all books, yes, for sure. All right then, are we done? Do we have anything else? No, I think we're done. I mean, I'm done. I'm what about you? Yes, I'm done. So, you who are listening, I'm really, really glad that you have been following us in this book, and I really hope that you have been following every episode and also reading the book, of course. And if you don't listen to us and read the other books that we have been recording, like 10x is easier than 2x and also Happy Money with Can Honda, do that, buy the books and listen to the podcast. So, what do you take with you with this um from this episode from this chapter? Is it something with your parenting that you could take from the appendix that I that I summarized? Why is that important to you? And how can you apply this to your parenting, to your kids in your daily life? Think about that. I also want to say reach out to us. We we would love to hear what did you think about this book? What is your feeling about this book? And what it what do you think about do you like our episodes and what did you like? Yeah, something like that. Reach out and yeah, exactly. Hope to hear from you from the next pick as well. So just follow along. Follow along, yes. So thank you, Sophia, and thank you who are listening for this episode, and thank you for this book, and we will see you in the next book. Have a really, really nice day and nice week, and we will see you soon again. Bye, bye.