#70- What You Have to Give Up, to Get Something else

 Courtney Gray shares the second major crossroads in her business: during COVID, she had to choose between storing and waiting out the shutdown of Creative Side Jewelry Academy or selling it, and she sold after recognizing her real capacity, health, and energy could not sustain that version of the business while building what was next. The transition was messy and painful, involving community abandonment, slander, and a prolonged period of depression, illness, and multiple hospitalizations, reinforcing that pushing past capacity eventually forces consequences. She emphasizes that letting go only works when you fully release what no longer fits, and that you can’t build what’s next with your hands full of what was. She offers clear questions to assess capacity and direction, reframes letting go as honesty rather than quitting, and connects these lessons to why she built Transform. The next episode will address time and how long change takes. 

Transcript

#70- What You Have to Give Up, to Get Something else

[00:00:00]

Welcome to The Jeweler's View. I'm Courtney Gray, metalsmith educator and creative business strategist. After 25 years in the jewelry industry, running one of the country's top metalsmithing schools, coaching artists, advising companies and organizations, and hosting interviews with some of the best in the craft.

I finally created the kind of support I wish I'd had from the start. This podcast is a part of that. Each week I share the lessons I had to learn the hard way so you can build a rhythm that supports your creative work, your values, and the life and business you actually want. Find tools, coaching and my transform course@courtneygrayarts.com and let's get to work. 

Courtney Gray: So last episode, I talked about the first crossroads in my life. The year momentum stalled and I had to decide whether I was actually committed or just kind of trying on [00:01:00] something or hoping. This one's a little different because the second crossroad for me in business wasn't about starting, it was about letting go of something I had spent over a decade building, and that is a much harder thing.

When COVID hit, many of you know I was running Creative Side Jewelry Academy. The school was full. I had a great staff. They were running things. The community was real, the students were serious. And then one day everything had to shut down. I had two options in front of me.

Put it all in storage. Wait it out, hope the other side looked the same as it did before we shut down. Or sell the company and trust someone else to carry it forward. So I sold

because it wasn't just a business decision. When I got honest about my capacity, my health, my energy, I could see that [00:02:00] I couldn't carry that version of the business forward and build what was next. At the same time, something had to go, and I had to be the one to choose it before circumstances chose for me.

What followed that decision was not clean, did not go as planned. There was abandonment from parts of the community. There was slander. There were people who filled in the gaps of what they didn't know with stories that weren't true. And when you've built something carefully for years, that kind of response cuts in a specific way, not just because it's painful, but because you know what it actually took and they don't.

If there were nights I called friends and colleagues in tears, you know who you are. Thank you for holding space for me during that really difficult time, because when you release something that significant, it [00:03:00] doesn't just feel like losing a company.

It feels like losing a version of yourself that you worked really hard to become. That transition took three to four years. Depression, illness, seven, hospitalizations, near death type experience. And I'm not gonna walk through every detail of that period, but I will say this, when you push past your actual capacity for long enough, eventually your body is gonna make decisions for you.

The thing I kept coming back to, the thing I had to really sit with was that letting go only works if you actually let go. Not halfway, not while still checking in, not while keeping one hand on it. Emotionally. You have to release it fully and that is genuinely one of the harder things that I've had to learn.[00:04:00]

Coming outta that period of being ill, something became clear to me. I had been trying to carry too many versions of myself into this next chapter and life, whatever you wanna call it, made it plain that something had to give you don't get to take everything with you.

You choose what you're building next, and you go. So I was in Tucson recently and my friend Bette Barnett said something to me that I keep coming back to. She told me she met me at my lowest, that she only ever saw that version of me, and she still showed up. She still had admiration for me for what I had built.

She knew I was a dynamo, right? But wasn't seeing me at the peak of it. She met me at the end of that chapter. She said to me something that really lifted my spirit . Now she understands what I'm capable of When I'm building something aligned that meant more than I can [00:05:00] really explain because she's right when the work fits, when what I'm building matches where I actually am.

The energy is really different. The focus is different. The service is full on. You don't get that by holding onto something past its time. You have to give something up to build something else and figuring out what that is requires honest examination.

Not inspiration, not a pep talk from Courtney. Just clear questions. Where am I right now? Actually, what is my real capacity? What do I want my days to look like? What am I willing to sustain for the next year? Letting go is not quitting.

It's knowing the difference between what you're holding because it still fits and what you're holding, because you're terrified to put it down and face the change and discomfort that comes. That's a [00:06:00] meaningful distinction.

So if you are exhausted by something. You're still dragging forward if there's resentment in the work. If it stopped feeling like yours, it's worth asking whether you're building or just maintaining out of obligation.

You cannot build what's next with your hands full of what was.

Honestly, this is what led me to building Transform. It's why I structured it this way. Not to push people harder, but to slow down long enough to ask the right question about capacity, about direction, about what sustainable actually looks like for this season in your life, not someone else's season.

Yours. 'cause I had to lose a significant amount before I understood this clearly. I would rather you get there faster and avoid that rocky road. Letting go is not failure, [00:07:00] it's just what it looks like when you're honest about where you are and what you're actually able to build from here.

Next episode we're gonna talk about time. Because once you've made the decision, once you've recalibrated, the question that comes up almost immediately is, how long is it going to take? Let's talk honestly about that. I'll see you in the next episode. 

Courtney Gray: Thanks for listening to The Jeweler's View. If today's episode gave you something to think about, consider sending it to a friend or share it on social and tag me at Courtney Gray Arts. You'll find tools, coaching resources, and the transform course@courtneygrayarts.com. Remember you're not behind.

You're becoming exactly the kind of maker your business needs and that kind of depth. It takes time. I'll be back next week, same time, same tough love, onward and upward.