#98: What doesn't fit anymore?
Speaker: [00:00:00] Welcome to The Jeweler's View. I'm Courtney Gray. I've spent nearly 30 years in this industry running schools, doing custom work, coaching, consulting, and working with makers at all stages. Over time, I've started to see the patterns, the things that actually move a creative career forward and the things that can quietly hold it back.
I built this podcast to cut through the noise. Less time in your head or down the research rabbit hole and more time building something real. Let's get into it.
What do you do when you know you want something different, but you don't know what different is yet. Most of us start doing things, right? We start looking around. We start researching. What should I learn? What should I change? What should I build? What should I be doing that I'm not doing? You're thinking, , something has to work. [00:01:00] Something has to click." Before long, we've given ourselves, 12 new jobs when what we were actually looking for was direction . Welcome back to The Jeweler's View.
I'm Courtney Gray. Last week, I asked you a question: What doesn't fit anymore? Now, this came out of everything I was thinking about after evolving creatively, and this idea that you don't have to know exactly what you're evolving into to recognize that you're evolving.
Once we recognize that we want something different, sitting with that information can be very uncomfortable. We wanna do something about it, right? We want it to shake up quickly. I met with this amazing, accomplished woman a few days after evolving creatively. I was really happy she ended up grabbing a spot, which all of you can do.
Well, not all of you at once, but you can grab a 30-minute spot with me if you have questions about anything. So she [00:02:00] did that, and I'm so glad that she did. She's right in the middle of all of this, right? She's already built a lot. She has a lot of work. She's smart, she's capable, she has experience. She also has a lot of options, and she was starting to throw all of them at herself at once.
Maybe I should learn this. I need to download this. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I need to build something new. What can I change? What can I add? What do I need to strive for? Something has got to shake things up. Now, I understood this immediately. When we can't define what we want, it's really easy to just reach for things that we can define, that are tangible, that we understand.
Maybe it's a class or a project, a new technique, a new tool, or a goal Something we can put on the calendar and say, "Okay, I'm doing something." Movement feels productive, and it really can be.
Trying things is a huge part of how we discover [00:03:00] what we want But we can also make ourselves incredibly busy and a little crazy without getting any closer to the thing that we're actually looking for. Now, that's the harder question.
What am I actually trying to change? How do you align your work and your business with something that you haven't even defined yet? I think that's where we need a little room to stop reacting and pay attention. What's pulling at you? What's draining you? What are you curious about right now?
What are you hanging onto because you've already invested so much in it? The first answer may not be a business answer at all.
You might want more freedom, more challenge. Maybe you miss the joy of starting something new, being a beginner. Maybe you wanna feel useful, or you've been struggling with a lack of purpose. Purpose is big. Maybe you want more money. Welcome to the world. Less responsibility, [00:04:00] more connection,
Or like a lot of us, you desperately want everyone to leave you alone for a while so you can just make something. Now funny enough, I was at a woman's circle at my neighbor's house recently. I love these two neighbors I have. These women who are spiritually driven, have hypoallergenic dogs,
we're all in our 40s. It's kinda perfect. We do this once a month. We get together and we really talk. Now one of the prompts this last session was, "What's one word that describes what you want more of?" Just one word. I said out loud, "Does it have to be one?"
That's kind of tough, right? Now, I've been thinking about the other side of that question too. What's one word that describes what you need less of or maybe need to let go of? Is it fear? Is it urgency? Pressure, comparison, obligation, control, [00:05:00] another big one. Now, whatever yours is, those two words can tell you quite a bit, what you want and what you wanna let go of.
Because then it takes all of that out, right? We're not asking, what else should I do? We're getting closer to what am I actually trying to create here? Those questions have been really important in my own life. When I sold Creative Side, I did not have the next 10 years mapped out.
Not even close. I just knew that something had changed. I knew I didn't wanna be in that role anymore. I knew that I needed to make space for something else. That was much more clear than what I wanted to do next. Now, letting go of something you've built when you don't have a shiny new thing waiting on the other side is really hard and very uncomfortable.
Who can relate to this? There is safety in what we already [00:06:00] know, even when we don't want it anymore or it's not serving us anymore. Now, I've also done the opposite. I've thrown ideas at myself. I've filled the calendar. I've gotten excited about stuff and immediately started figuring out how to turn it into a giant project. I am very good at that. But what I'm learning is activity and direction aren't the same thing. Now, the woman I was talking to after evolving creatively, she didn't need more ambition.
She didn't need more ideas. She certainly didn't need another list of things that she could do. She needed some space and, a little bit of focus time to figure out where she wanted all of that ability and experience pointed now.
That's the , real work. It's also the reason week one of Transform is about defining your vision. If you're new here from Evolving Creatively, and [00:07:00] you've just heard me mention Transform, but you really don't know what it is yet, Transform is my live business program for jewelers and makers, and we start here. Before we start changing things or adding tasks, I wanna understand what you're trying to build. What does success look like now? What do you want from this? What do you actually have capacity for?
What matters enough to pursue? And what are you ready to let go of to get there? Now, those answers are not always obvious, my friend. Week one can be about sorting through years of ideas, expectations, and possibilities, and figuring out which ones still belong. The reality is we need some direction to define the decisions that follow.
We're trying to do this backwards most of the time. That's what the rest of Transform supports though. Week by week, we work through the business from that [00:08:00] place, not somebody else's definition of success. Not what you thought you were supposed to build five years ago. And certainly not every possibility available to you. There's too many options. What makes sense for you now? That's why vision comes first, and
. It's also why people can come into Transform at very different stages of business. Your goals don't have to look like anyone else's. They need to belong to you.
For your bench note this week, I'm stealing the prompt from my women's circle, and I'm adding one piece to it. Give me two words. What do you want more of, and what do you need less of? Maybe your two words are creativity and urgency, income and letting go of fear, connection and comparison, freedom and obligation, challenge and control.
Don't choose the [00:09:00] words that I'm giving you, or if you wanna borrow them, fine. They don't need to sound impressive. Choose the ones that are true, that feel right. You'll know. You'll know when it feels right. And then look at them together, because those two little words may tell you more about the direction you're trying to move in than another giant list of things to do.
You don't need to turn them into a plan yet. Just pay attention. And if this is exactly where you are right now, the next round of Transform is open, my friends, and it begins soon. You don't need to come in with the answer. Come because you want the answer. That's the work that we do. You don't need the five-year plan.
Figuring out the direction is part of the work we're going to do together with a tribe of other people doing the same work. You can learn more at courtneygrayarts.com. And next week, I wanna introduce you to Bella Grass. [00:10:00] Bella is at a very different point in her jewelry career than the woman I told you about today, which is exactly why I think these conversations belong next to each other.
She's early in her career. She's learning. She's experimenting. She's getting her reps in and beginning to make choices about where she wants to put her attention. She said something in our conversation that has really stuck with me, "Go slow with intentionality."
Not bad advice for any of us. I'll see you next week. Until then, I'm Courtney Gray. Be sure to click follow wherever you're listening so you can stay tuned to next week's episode. This is The Jeweler's View. Thank you for being here with me. Onward and upward.
This episode is brought to you by Bonny Doon Tools. Good tools should last, and they should make your process cleaner and more predictable. From forming to cutting to custom die systems, Bonny Doon builds equipment [00:11:00]designed to keep working use after use, year after year. Visit bonnydoontools.com to get educated on what's possible
Speaker 2: I'm glad you're here. This path takes a lot, especially when you're building something of your own. If you wanna go deeper, I share key takeaways and additional teaching through my email list at courtneygrayarts.com. Keep going. This part matters. I'll see you next [00:12:00] week
