Is Self-Sabotage the Reason I’m Not Where I Should Be?

When reality doesn’t match what you imagined, it’s easy to start questioning everything.

“Am I even on the right path?”
“Will the goals I set ever come to pass?”
“If I knew better back then, would I be in a better place now?”

We stress ourselves out comparing where we thought we’d be two years ago to where we are today. And in that stress, the cycle of self-sabotage only gets louder—bad jobs, bad relationships, broken habits, endless worry.

But here’s the truth: **the problem isn’t the goal—it’s our focus.** When we fix our eyes only on the outcome instead of on God, worry becomes our way of life.

In this episode, I get real about:

* Why your present doesn’t look like your vision (and that’s okay)
* How self-sabotage thrives when you’re focused on “what if” instead of “what is”
* Breaking free from the cycle of worry, doubt, and fear
* The shift that comes when you focus on God, not just the goal

🎧 Tune in—you do not want to miss this.


Key Points Made During The episode...

Acceptance is crucial in understanding your reality.
Every day presents its own challenges.
The past influences our present perceptions.
Coping mechanisms can be flawed due to trauma.
Understanding wants versus needs is essential.
Gratitude can shift your perspective on reality.
The journey is often more valuable than the goal.
Life lessons can come from unexpected situations.
Trusting God's timing is vital for acceptance.
Engaging in honest conversations with God fosters growth.



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Transcript

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (00:35.427)
Welcome back to another conversation with God and self I'm your host Lovasia  Renee for those of you that do not know this podcast is geared to new Christian believers are on their walk with God as well as their personal development journey so This here is just to have an honest open and conversation and to courage and to encourage others to do the same Yeah, let me tell you something let me say something for those of you who watch

Last week's episode. I'm so sorry. I did not paint the picture Sometimes I'm so fixated on the YouTube version that I forget that there's people listening to my voice I'm sorry, so my hair style if you did not go see the actual like video version of that episode My hairstyle is in soft twist. I think that's what they're called. So when I did my hair it was like soft twist which is why it took me a thousand years because I didn't do them like

I did them like a medium small small medium So that's why it took me 12 hours. I just had to I just had to throw that in there because Y'all probably like girl. We can't see you. We could just hear like what your hair look like so If you follow your Instagram Then you will have seen my hair by by now But if you don't you just came across this podcast and you're probably wondering like we're like what this hair girl hair look like I just wanted to put that out there

Alright, so I do have some notes on this but it's in my heart to just freestyle it and I think it's because I Don't know y'all. I've been I've been in conversation with God these past couple of days and I just want to be honest and open and my work and where I'm at and This is really just to encourage the person that's watching this to just be like Every day is a trying day

Like every day is a trying day, not a day that I've did it, even in the days where I'm deep in my Bible, then I get it right. So every day is a trying day. And I just want to encourage you that when you are feeling not your best self or where you are feeling a little, you know, questionable or doubtful or

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (02:48.982)
Hopeless I would say start the conversation. It's not that hard to start the conversation and be honest and sure So, know before we get into any episode day we have to invite the Holy Spirit to guide this conversation So father God, I thank you for being present in this moment father God Bless my mouth to be able to say the words that you need to be said for those that need to hear

I pray that you got this conversation the way that you see fit and I play that it blesses me as well as those that hear it. In your name we pray, in Jesus name. Amen. So let's start the conversation. All right guys, so today we are speaking about accepting in your reality.

That's very hard. Last week we spoke about the past and how the past kind of affects your future. And I say that because when you're living in your present time, you look at the things of the now or how they played out towards your now. You look at things not more so in the past, the past, but you look at the most recent things and how it played out in your now.

I say that to say when it comes to our past even down to our childhood We don't think that it affects our now as much as it did depending on the situation Like I spoke about the absence of my father and like yeah, it did have some negative impacts for me but it also has some positives to where like I have a protective shield around me, right and I know how to you know, Distinct someone if they're good or bad for me

But sometimes, even though those positive traits are around, we often focus and or fixate on the negative because that is what shows up most, right? Like I said, I'm the type of person that I would dismiss a situation because I personally feel like they're gonna leave anyway. And sometimes by you doing that, can be disobedient to God. And I say that because

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (05:01.786)
when, and I'll go back to a little bit towards the conversation, which was.

When we are not equipped with the correct coping mechanism and our tool to be able to help us process, What shows up in our presence is a lack thereof, right? So like if abandonment issues, right? I wanna go back there for just a little bit. That's what I spoke about.

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (05:39.278)
My heart is heavy right now, I don't know why. But abandonment issues would equip you, right, to basically in a protective way to try not to get hurt. But you can also misjudge a lot of things because you was never taught on how to actually look at a situation that is like, in ways that it will hurt you as opposed to just looking at the overall. And like, I would say like a selfish self-righteous way, and I'll explain it. So like.

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (06:07.266)
without the Lord showcasing me.

The correct coping mechanism or the correct direction on how to dismiss something that is not good for me. I would just cut off anything that I felt. I felt just didn't suit me. Like if things didn't go my way, right? Like if I'm dealing with someone, friendship, friend, whatever, and things are not going the way I want it to go, that would be my excuse to dismiss because I fear that they will hurt me anyway, just because things are not going my way.

What the Lord has shown me is just because things are not going your way doesn't mean that the person, the relationship is still not working out for your good. Like when you just have a trauma response and your body automatically goes into survival mode, nothing is off limits. Everything is for clips, period. Everything is for clips. And it's because you're so biased in your pain. You're so blinded in your...

and your offense to what has happened to you that anything

Nothing's off limits, right? But what I noticed when I started walking with the Lord and he started to reveal to me that just because things are not going your way or just something just because it's something you do not agree on does not mean that it gives you authority to cut it off because it's uncomfortable.

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (07:37.282)
Wow. Wow, right? Because how often times when the Lord is making you or not even making you, but when he is pushing you to accept something, you're more quick to dismiss it than to accept it because it's harder to accept than it is to dismiss. And that's what came to my mind. So it made me come to where I am right now.

and how a lot of the things that I've done in my past kind of shaped my today. And how a lot of the times, even in my right now, I still struggle with what I coulda, shoulda, do this. Because it's hard to accept the knowledge that I know now that I didn't know then. And I'ma explain.

When I look at my today and I look at like the past and a lot of the choices that I made, a lot of decisions and a lot of things that I tolerated, I look at me now and go, why would you do that to yourself? Like, why did you do that? And sometimes it's hard for me to come to a conclusion like, hey, you know better now, so you do better now. You didn't know better then. So punish yourself for the past of what you did not know is pointless.

But I find myself and I believe many others find yourself blaming yourself for not knowing better than than you do now because you could have avoided so much gook, right? You could have avoided so much. And sometimes it makes me feel like I'm stuck. It feels like I'm in a cycle of battling myself that I can't get out of, right?

And I say that because looking at my reality right now, right? My reality right, now, even though I can say I'm not pleased with it because the entitlement part of me, the ego in me would want more. Does that make sense? I hope that makes sense. We have to understand there's different parts of ourselves that feed into

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (09:50.926)
who we are right now. And depending on who we're listening to and who we're answering to, that will be the one that will shape your perception on how you look at your reality right now. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Thank you. I'm sorry, y'all. This is hitting me all at once. And I'm doing it in front of camera, baby ghetto. But I say that to say,

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (10:25.922)
When you're looking at your reality, it's so easy to pinpoint all the things that is wrong with it. I'm sorry. Actually, no, I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry that I'm tearing up. I'm not sorry. I've given myself permission to feel the emotion, so no, I'm not sorry.

But it's so easy to look at all the negative when you're surrounded by in a world that that that deals with comparison syndrome because people You get to you get to you get so much access into people's lives, but you're not getting access into their life You're given again access to what they're showing you and you're being bombarded by what is being shown and it's tainting your perception of your own life because you're questioning as to what is God doing in your neck

Comparison is a deep of joy Because I remember finding myself and it wasn't recent I would say a couple months ago. I Was in a very hard place like a very hard place in my life like very very hard, right? And I remember just showing gratitude Even in a place where I didn't feel grateful because I didn't want to be there

And I think in that moment it allowed me to one feel God's peace in the middle of a storm but also to to be grateful regardless of where my reality lies and I saved that because When you again perception so perception definitely controls your outcome and if you're looking at your now and you're questioning where God's hand is in your life and you're like God like what are you doing like

where I'm at right now is not where I want to be. but, but, I want to go on these two words. And I think we need to focus on the wording. Cause my pastor says when he says certain things, he goes, look up the word, look up the word. And I really want us to look up the words that we are using when we're having a conversation with ourself, when we're having a conversation with God, when we're having a conversation with friends, when we're having a conversation with spouses.

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We need to look into the words that we are using because I think what it is is it separates us from accepting what God is doing in us through us in that moment. And I wanna say it right now, want and need. And I'm gonna, in real time, I'm gonna look up this word.

because I Think what it is is the reason why the perception father God. Thank you for this message the reason our perceptions are tainted when it comes to our reality is because we are so focused on our wants rather than our needs and Even though the Bible does speak that the Lord will give provide you with your heart desires. He would give you your wants But some he would give you the things that you need like even the birds don't go with that

Right? But it puts a perspective for me that even though the Lord sees my wants, I feel like when it comes to me specifically in this season, he's more focused on my needs rather than my wants. Because if you look up the word want, if you look up the word want, just want, want means have a desire to possess or do something, wish for.

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (14:13.383)
Meaning wanting is a desire Wanting Want wanted wanted whatever the word is It's something that you see now you have a desire for it Meaning you can go without the desire it won't kill you if you go without what you want and I think what it is when it comes to our reality

We want so much. But there comes a time where we'll want so much but need for nothing. I remember being in seasons that I wanted so much, but I needed for nothing. I wanted the newest sneakers. I wanted the newest clothes. I want a range over all black. Oh, the biography. Yeah, yeah, That's my baby. It's my little feature car.

But seriously, like I want a big house, white picket fence, big backyard, pool. I want those things. I desire those things. But do I need it? Well, can I survive without it? And I think that's what really bothers us because we are so fixy in it all at once. We're not paying attention to our needs and how our needs are met. I'ma go to needs. And I pray that this is following.

because I'm a little over the pace, but I'm literally going with the words that the Lord has given me. Like I said, I'm a freestyle this, is, this is right. This is, this is flowing through me. This is not planned. This is not rewrote. And this is literally the Holy spirit at this moment. You talking to me and I'm just, I'm trying to catch up if that makes sense. I'm just trying to catch up need. So we're going to go. So we just, I just went over the definition of one. I'm going to walk into the definition of need.

required because it is essential, very important. One is a desire. One is very important. What is essential? Meaning if you do not have this that you need, you cannot survive without. Essential, meaning this is something that I need for the quality of my life. Meaning if I go without this,

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (16:38.348)
The quality of my life, the quality of my life is in jeopardy because I'm going without me needing air. Right? You need air to breathe. You need your heart to pump. Those are your indecent essentially. You cannot go without. If you go without you die. And I feel like there are going to be seasons where the Lord is going to provide you with what you need and nothing or what you want because what you want can cloud what's needed of you.

Was needed of you to grow. What he needs from you as far as obedient. Dying to your cross, dying to yourself. Like I feel like what I'm doing right now in my reality is I'm grieving. I'm grieving my wants. I am. I'm grieving the goal. I'm grieving what I've set out for. I'm grieving my wants.

because I want it so much, especially at the tender age of 30. I want it so much. I want it so much. And now I'm here. And even though I want so much, I literally need for nothing. I don't need for nothing right now. I have clothes, I have clothes on my back. I have food in my stomach. I have a roof over my head by the, by the grace of the Lord. If I'm hungry, I can eat.

And we have starved ourselves on being grateful on the grateful what we have in our needs That we show up to the father so selfishly and I and I and I and I have tears in my eyes because I'm seeing me I'm seeing how beautiful he has been to me and I'm seeing how selfishly I've said I have sinned against him in this moment

And I think when it comes to the reality of the now, the reason why you're feeling all the things is because what is your focus? What is your focus? In the Bible, it speaks on if you if you keep your eyes to the kingdom of God, all of the things of your heart, it will be given to you like he'll provide it for you. I want to go into Luke's because the Luke literally said that.

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (18:59.566)
And I said it last week and I, and then you keep coming back to this, this, um, this scripture, I think it, you know, the funny thing about what's studying the Bible is like, you can read it a thousand times, a thousand times, but I feel like it would just be knowledge because knowledge is just knowing, right? Wisdom is applying. And I think when you're in a reality as to why you're questioning as to where you're currently are due to the comparison of other people's lives and what they're allowing you to see.

You have to come back to humble ground and you have to understand that regardless you do not have the wants The needs is still at your favor the fact that you got up is still at your favor So when I say gratitude even in the days that you don't want to show gratitude because that's not where you want to be like your Reality right now is probably not where you want

You probably work at a job you really don't want to. You probably know you have the potential to be an entrepreneur or to own a business or to do whatever it is, even if it's a promotion in that job. You know these things, but what haunts you is the thought of not having it. But seeing other people have access to the things that you want. So comparison stills your joy.

And it also takes away the gratitude of the now because entitlement, ego, pride will make you believe that you should be where they are or you should be there or you should be further ahead. And you know what I realized that I'm learning in this moment is the journey is the beauty of it, not the goal. The journey is if the Lord allows it.

Because I've been on my journey for a very long time and it took me until Now I can say because I've started I started this whole speaking situation. Let's say like 2017. Let's be really honest But it took me to now to understand that the journey was the most beautiful part Not the goal because there have been times when I set out for goals and I hit those goals and I had a little celebration for the moment

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (21:12.002)
The celebration lasted maybe, maybe a couple hours or so once I hit that goal. But then once the goal was met, I had another goal. And the funny thing about it was on the journey is when I had the most enlightenment, like the most gratitude because Lord, thank you for allowing me to even be on this journey to step upon this path for you to have created this path for me to have followed. It wasn't the goal. It was the journey.

that I was most proud of myself because look at me, showed up, I changed. I'm not the same person I was when I first walked on the path. By the time I ended the path, I can literally say I'm like I'm newing. And I'm saying newing, that's like, we are like girls that don't make no sense. I'm renewing myself as I'm going through these journeys. I'm changing myself, I'm developing, you know?

It puts me in a perspective because I made a video about this, but I think this is the perfect time to say it so And God we're just having a conversation out loud and and the conversation really is just Having a conversation about God with God we're gonna also introduce some biblical scripture But I wanted to I wanted to mention this because in my show notes I am Going back and forth because I do want to you know, still incorporate the things that I did right down

But let me tell you something, let me tell you something, let me tell you a little, I'm gonna tell you a little quick story. Y'all gonna be like, love Asia. I know, okay. I already know. can get, I see your side eye. I see it. I'll accept it. Cause I know. So I have a little Miata, right? And when it comes to the maintenance of my car, I'm be really honest y'all. I don't be knowing. That's because I'm a little spoiled. I have a whole husband. So I feel like.

Men cars go together real bad. I don't really gotta do much So my mama had a little family event or whatever. So they was coming up by me. So mind you prior to Me going on this thing. My husband like pointed out to like my tires like Like you're tread on your tires a little thin. I was like, okay, I'ma buy me some tires. but you know, you take your time with stuff if it's not like Burning down to the ground. You gonna take your time. So I took my time

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (23:35.0)
So on my way to this family event, I get a flat tire. And it's funny because I know what about to get a flat tire, but I was still trying to push my car. It's like, you know something, you still try to push. It's me. It's me. So I pull over, whatever, get to like, I think it was like a auto auto, so I pull over. My brother was going to come get me, but I ended up getting roadside assistance. So waiting on the roadside assistance. They come, they fix my tire. Now I'm back on the road, right?

And if for you that don't drive, when you have a little donor on your car, you cannot hit a certain speed limit. Because if you hit that certain speed limit, you might flatten your donut and then you might flatten your other tires. And then you're riding on a rim. And baby, this is not granted photo. It is not cute, nor does it feel cute. It's very ghetto. Okay? Point blank period. Okay? So.

I'm driving to the event still because one, I know you're like, girl, I would have turned home and went away. I wanted to do that. But when I went on family vacation, my father had to babysit my dog. So my mom at the family thing, she had my dog. So I had to go regardless because I had to get my dog. Because had I not went and got my dog, I wouldn't have seen my dog for like two months or so. Because as far as me traveling back to New York.

was no time soon. So this was the only opportunity, one, for me to go to this family event and then two, for me to get my dang on out. So I end up still going, mind you, I'm like 20 minutes away. That's the real ghetto-ness of it because it was like an hour out and I'm halfway there and now you wanna just blow up on me? You couldn't do it when I got to the venue? Anyway, so I end up still going there. Mind you, prior to me getting my flight tie, I'm driving like a good 70, 80. I'm cruising, right?

Now that I got the little donut on my car, I can't even hit a good 50. Like I'm driving at the slowest of the pace. And for some odd reason, my phone just went on a playlist of gospel music. I didn't put it on this because I was listening to Amelia Shade, Shady, I think that's her name. I was listening to her music list and then my phone was like, we're gonna put on gospel for you. Thank you phone, right? Thank you Lord for doing that. So.

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I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm I'm like on the main road, so like I got my hazards on every now and then just so anybody go behind me, they know like, hey, you gotta go around me. Then I gotta get on the highway. So I'm getting on the highway. And usually I'm over in the left lane, you know, I'm being, I'll be in that cruise lane. I have to be all the way in the slow lane. As I am driving though, I cannot, one, I cannot go over a certain speed limit. Two, I have to tell people to go around me because of the speed that I have to be steady on.

Three, gospel music is playing in the back. This is my scenery, y'all. I got cars flexing on me, going around me, speeding. I got hoopty, whoopty, doopty's driving around your girl. Hope these people. I'm talking about the 1999s and the early 2000s, okay? Speeding around me. And in my mind, I'm like, this is so ghetto because one, I have to be steady in my lane and I have to focus, right?

And the whole time I'm praying, Father God, just please get me to my destination safe and sound. Father God, just allow me to just get there. Just get there. As I'm cruising on this journey, I'm at a certain speed. I cannot speed up nor can I speed down. I have to stay at this speed. But around me, people are moving past me. People that I didn't expect to move past me are moving past me. Cars that I wouldn't even think can hit above 50.

is driving past me and in my mind I'm like, don't deserve to go by me. My car is still 2021, like my baby's still new. how, they don't even take care of that car. Look at their car. That person bump all messed up. That person missing a light. And then I'm seeing people that got the newest cars. I'm like, Lord, like why couldn't I be in my Range Rover? I'm looking at all, while I'm comparing everything, I'm justifying who should go by me, who shouldn't go by me.

I'm also talking about my wants. Never once am I focusing on my need. My need is safety. My need is getting me to my destination. My need is my car not blowing out on me mid-highway. And in that moment I'm driving, I'm noticing like this is life. Like life is you being on a journey. You at a certain speed. There are people at different speeds than you.

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There are people that you don't believe is going to deserve it. That's going to pass you. And all you need to do is be obedient and focus on what's in front of you and understanding that the Lord would always be with you because even though I'm not focused on a gospel music, the gospel music is playing. Gospel music was there the entire ride. I didn't even shuffle nothing. I just let it play out. And while I'm on this journey and I have to focus on me, I'm mind you, I'm alone in a car. I feel alone.

No one, don't see no one else got a flat tire. No one else going through car problems. So I feel like I'm the only one going through it, but I have to stay steadfast on what I'm doing. I have to focus. I have to make sure that, that I can get my car to his destination. While on that, I'm still relying on the Lord to provide me to get there. I'm still not even just focusing on my ability to push the pedal to the metal and get it there, but I'm still focused on the Lord to do his work to still get me there. Cause anything could have still happened from the moment I broke down.

to me get into my destination.

And I could have made it worse on myself. And I did make it a little worse on myself because again, I'm comparing everyone that's able to have the ability to move around to get to their destination. If it was faster, if it was whatever they're going around me to get to where they got to go. But had I stopped my car, I could have caused the people behind me stagnation or get into their destination because they would have had to stop and then go around me. Right.

I could have also caused chaos because had I stopped in the lane that I was in, I could have caused the people behind me to crash into my car, which would have delayed them from getting to where they needed to go. But as long as I stayed steadfast on my journey and where I was going and the speed I was allowed to go, I was able to get to my destination. No matter if to some people I showed up late, right?

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (30:14.454)
Because to my mom, you showed up late. Where you been? What's going on?

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Not even to some people who thought I showed up early because there was some people still traveling without car problems trying to get to the event themselves. And I still got there before them. What I'm trying to say to you. And it is not the goal. It was I was praying and literally as I was on the journey and when I got there, I took a deep breath and it felt like nothing. wasn't people. I have family come up to me like, I you had like a little car situation. Glad you're here. It wasn't a celebration.

When I got there, it was like, okay, glad you got here, Steve.

But you know who know who celebrated the fact that I got there to save the Lord because he made a way for me to get there. You know, I think we celebrate a little bit more the Lord because I didn't sit in comparison when I was watching other cars. anything, I, it was a, I just took from it. Cause I'm like, Lord, like what is this? Like you got me going like a little 50 something miles an hour, a little, every time I hit a little 50, go damn, I went a little damn. Cause I'm like, I ain't going to be riding on wheels here. Ain't going be riding on spinners. And

That's what I learned like doing that and and I what I want you to do is as you're sitting And whatever vehicle or whatever path that the lord has you on I need you to focus on him It's a focus on your journey and to not look out your rear view mirrors and out your back mirror and out your other rear view mirror and focus on the those that are around you But focus on the journey that the lord has for you and that's accepting your reality That's accepting your right now and that's being okay with right now because at the end of the day

even though I was in question on this, if I was going to get there at a certain time, or if I was going to get there at all, my trust was still in the Lord. It still was in the Lord. yeah, that's what I got. That's what I got. My trust was still in the Lord. And you know what's funny? When I went to Lee, because mind you, I got there.

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And we was only there for not even a full hour. My family ended up leaving like 45 minutes. So mind you, I did all of this to get here. That's another thing. Y'all, we got there. I show up. I didn't even eat anything. Starved. Hungry.

I get there, my mom's like, okay, I'm ready to go. Lady, did you know what it took for me to get here and you're ready to go? I'm over here fighting for my life and you're ready to go? You better sit here for another six some hours. So my hard work that it took me to get here gonna pay off, but that's life. Like you will work so hard to get somewhere and then you get there, like, that's it? That's all? That's it? I can't even get a little burger from the grill? Nothing, nothing.

So literally I get there, like I said, 45 minutes they leave. I'm like, I cannot believe it. But I don't think the lesson was for me to get there and for me to get a burger. I think the lesson was for me to see how God operates and his many ways that he operates, right? So now we leave him. My brother, he's driving behind me, whatever. We get back on the highway, ironic. And my brother, I'm on the phone with my sister. My brother goes.

You know, you can go a little faster than that. You go like a good 60. Just don't go above that. But like you could stay whatever the speed limit is and you could go a little faster than that. And it hit me when the like, not saying my brother was Lord, but in that metaphor, when the Lord will give me permission to move a little bit faster is when I'm able to do so. But until then I will stay steadfast in the lane that he's provided me at the speed that he's provided me. And I would not jeopardize to go no more.

Because had I went more faster, I could have jeopardized my journey to get to my destination. Are y'all tracking me here? I y'all tracking me. I really do. Cause I don't know where this came from. I'm not gonna lie to y'all. When I sat down in this seat, this was not my intention to go this route in this conversation. But the Holy Spirit did exactly what was asked. But seriously though, like for you, it's hard for you to accept your reality because it depends on your focus. It could be,

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (34:30.636)
the way you cope with certain things. could be the tool set up for the past. think, yeah, I really had to put in perspective on that's really how our journey is, especially in a world where we're consumed with looking left, right, up, down, around. And we forget to just be grateful of the need, just the need. Like if you look at birds, believe birds do look at other birds and be like, dang, I wish I could swim. I wish I could fly.

But a bird can be only what a bird is. It can't be nothing more. It can't go be the president. It can't go be an architect. It can't go be a mathematician. It could just be a bird. And here we are, God's people, and we sit there and he gives us one title, but that one title opens us to many things. It can be used and utilized from many different ways. And instead of us understanding that and being grateful in that,

We allow comparison, covetedness to seal our joy. So I want to go to the Bible, how you can be able to in a moment, if you're feeling like you're starting to be jealous of what someone else has, or even if in a moment you're doubting God is able, I want you to go to these Bible scriptures to help you. And then, and all that. I want you to start that conversation with the Lord. And I want you to be...

honest and how you feel. I'm learning that now to just be honest like he knows but I just I want to I want to show him that I'm honest and how I feel. So we're gonna go to Proverbs 14 30 and y'all know Proverbs is huge. It's crazy because I open my Bible and it's already there. Holy Spirit you moving here. I already have a highlighted you already know.

So when you're jealous of other success, I want you to go to Proverbs 1430 and it reads, a tranquil heart is life to the body, but jealousy is rottenness to the bone. I wanna study that more, but what I'm understanding is when you have a heart of gratitude, a bride brings life, but when you have jealousy, it brings rottenness, it brings pain, it brings...

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (36:58.03)
Entitlement brings pride like it brings all the things that you should not have in your heart Ephesians 4 26 be angry But do not sin and there's a flower my poor heat be angry, but do not sin meaning do not allow Malice and bitterness to steep up in your heart because you're giving the devil an opportunity to overtake you I remember one of the videos I said before I Said why would the devil need to bother you if you're already doing his work? I was like

But seriously, if you're already doing the devil's work, he doesn't really need to bother you because you're already doing what he didn't even ask you to do. And by doing that, allowing bitterness and malice to seep up in your heart. Next one I want to go to is when you doubt God is able. And we're going to go to a Ephesians three 30. And the thing about it is I think this specific episode, I don't think the Lord wanted me to go into detail of breaking down.

Like the the scriptures I'm giving you I think the challenge for you on the other side of the screen is for you to read it for yourself Meditate and pray on it yourself and ask the Holy Spirit to provide you with the answer and to reveal in you What is Ryan? Thank you, Holy Spirit Because usually I break it down and I go to explain and all the things I want you

On the other side of this, if you're listening on the platform, podcast platform, if you're watching me, I contact people, go into your Bible, open it and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what that scripture means to you. Because what it might mean for me, it might not mean for you. And the work that I might have to do on myself might be the work that you have to do on you. So I think that's what it is. So Ephesians 3.

20.

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (39:00.494)
I would just I would just be in a whole little scripture depth sure and then it just won't give me what I need All right, so this is a features 320 and we're going to I got the highlighted to

Now to him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask for, sorry, all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. When I read this, all I got was to do above and beyond all that we ask or think.

That means when you doubt he is able, he does above and beyond all that you have asked verbally and even what your mind have allowed you to think is still limited to the things that the Lord can do. That's as much as I'm going to go into it. I really want you to go and read it yourself and speak to the Holy Spirit and build that conversation with God and say, Lord, where in my life am I doubting you? Where in my life am I watching?

Those are going to be your journal prompt questions. Father, where in my life am I rotten? And where in my life have I doubted you that you will not show up? And I want you to ponder on that for this week's journal prompts. That's all I got. I talked about my workbook and the last thing, I'm going to speak about it again. It's still in the works. I'm still working on it. It will be released soon, but like I said, it will only be released to my email subscribers.

If you're on the other side of this and you're like, girl, I need that workbook. I need to work through some things, but I also want to do it with God guiding me. Make sure you're clicking in the description below so you guys can be able to sign up to my email list and you're able to get that book. Be the first people to actually get that book. Like I said, it will be released soon. I'll be releasing the due date very shortly, but I just wanted to throw that out there to you guys so you can get it. So you're aware of it.

A Conversation With God & Self Podcast (41:27.362)
That's basically why I threw it out there. So you guys are aware that something soon is coming and it's going to be a workbook that will help you get through the things you need to get through. I thank you so much for watching, for listening again, if you're on any of those podcast platforms, just please give me a little comment, something. Even if you don't, fine. Well, I hope this episode helped you as much as it helped me. I encourage you today to start that conversation with God, just show up and be honest. And I believe he will be there.

Yup, just show up and be honest and start that conversation today. Until next time, I love you guys. Bye. If you like this video, check this one. I know you are going to enjoy it. Go ahead, click it. I won't say you're wrong. I'm always gonna say you're right. So click right over here. There you go.