Creative Context
Creative Context blends professional advice with a friendly, down-to-earth approach, making it a valuable resource for anyone navigating the complex relationship between clients and creative professionals. Through stories and practical tips, the podcast helps both sides understand each other’s perspectives and work toward more successful outcomes.
Creative Context
Working Through Creative Blocks Because You Have To
In this episode, co-hosts Douglas Duvall of Motif Media and Eric Wing of Darby Digital dive into the challenges of maintaining creativity and inspiration in professional work. They explore personal strategies for overcoming creative blocks, managing client relationships, and maintaining a productive mindset.
Video Version
https://youtu.be/yZP6SvmJynw
Creative Work Reality vs. Myths (0:00)
Routines and Commitment (2:38)
Impact of Environment and Music (5:35)
Handling Client Challenges (18:34)
Balancing Work and Personal Life (18:53)
Personal Reflections and Future Episodes (43:01)
📌 Topics Covered:
Creative inspiration, work routines, music and creativity, client interactions, professional boundaries, noise pollution, work environment, creative process, personal motivation, career development
📢 Key Takeaways:
Routine matters, music helps, detachment is powerful, boundaries are crucial, inspiration fluctuates, environment impacts creativity, commitment drives work, negative energy transmutation, professional respect, mindset management
🚀 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell for more insights into the world of creative professionals and those who work with them!
🔗 Connect with Us:
Douglas Duvall
motifmedia.com for high-end video production.
Eric Wing
withdarby.com for digital marketing and web development services.
certain people don't quite understand the work we do. What people see in the movies, with tech startups playing foosball and eating pizza and then doing some work at some point in the day and riding the slide from the second floor to the first floor that's not the reality. The reality is we're professionals. We may not wear a suit and tie to work. The work that we produce helps businesses to grow. That we produce helps businesses to grow.
Speaker 2:Welcome to another episode of Creative Context. Today we're talking about the myth, or the assumption, that creative people are always inspired and working in this state of never ending creativity and things just sort of flow out of us and we sit around and drink coffee and, you know, just sort of breeze through the day. From my perspective it's like inspiration, something that comes along every so often and you know we search for it, we strive for it, but by no means am I ever in a constant state of inspiration and feeling creative. But the work still needs to get done and we still need to move forward. What are your kind of knee-jerk reactions to this, eric?
Speaker 1:you know, I have a lot of different things I do to keep motivated with the work, and what comes to mind most immediately is when I didn't have a process or a routine, it would be difficult, it would be difficult to rise to the occasion of a workday, eyes to the occasion of a work day. You know, we, we do what we do because we are creative and we and we, we thrive on on, on the ability to, to generate creative work. But I find that without a routine, I think if you have, you need a routine in place there's a, there's a a saying that I. That's coming to mind, which is well. First of all, I'm noticing that I tend to go to like I, I tend to match a lot of the things we talk about back to like human relationships.
Speaker 1:But my, my example is um, you, you don't build a relationship on emotion or love. You build a relationship on commitment, and I think you can apply that to work. We have a commitment to our clients, we have a commitment to our work, but there are days when we just don't love what we're doing, we don't have that inspiration, we don't feel like really, really high on on what we need to do. But if you have a routine in place around the commitment to show up, then through that process the inspiration and the the ideas and the creativity will be born from that. But if you're just chasing the high of super creative work, I think it would be a real challenge for people.
Speaker 2:Sometimes through the work like just showing up to do the work can be difficult, you know, like you're struggling with something, there's a, there's some sort of roadblock or workaround that you have to do to finish this project and your, your creativity is gone. But there's that, that commitment to finish it and do it right and not just, you know, phone it in. And sometimes through that struggle you get inspiration and you get a creative boost. Um, it's definitely it can be a struggle like I I I look at it as like a roller coaster. Um, usually it's in a, in a nice kind of ebb and flow, but sometimes there's creative highs and there are very, very creative lows. Where it's it's daunting to sort of tackle that thing in front of you and it's at the end of the day.
Speaker 2:I know we're not up on the 20th story of a high rise. You know, welding steel, like at the end of the day. I know, I realize we're we're not doing those that sort of work that's. You know our lives aren't at risk, um, and we're not in extreme temperatures doing extreme work. I realize that you know, minimize those dip, those huge dips, and we've talked about it. You know, when it comes to like burnout and that sort of thing, but kind of developing a process. Usually after we speak and we record, I get a little boost of inspiration and feeling creative after this conversation. Uh, we've talked about like changing when we talked with eric tomorrow, you know, changing the scenery going for a walk, like developing these, you know this ritual or process or whatever you want to call it, to sort of help mitigate the creative and inspiration dips to keep the work going yeah, absolutely in.
Speaker 1:In fact, that's where I was going to bring it. Next was what I find is after. So like after the walk, the nap, the change of environment. Sometimes that is like step one of two, and for me, step two is plugging in putting headphones on, and I have dialed this in. In putting headphones on and there I have dialed this in there's a particular type of music that I can put on that brings my brain free and this might sound crazy, but it brings my like brain frequency down, like it from like a high beta to like a low beta or like high alpha. Um, and that is your.
Speaker 1:For me, that's the creative sweet spot is to slow down my brain and allow and allow my concentration just to be on the task at hand. I don't think about how long it's going to take or what I'm going to do after or if I've got other things going on. I just focus just specifically on the task at hand and the music calms my brain down. And if I can do step one, I can change environment, go for a walk. But if I don't do step two, I might sometimes not be as productive or as inspired or as creative as I might be otherwise, and that took years and years and years of trying to figure out.
Speaker 1:In fact, I've been able to trace it back to when I first started the business. I would work my day job 9 to 5, or whatever, get home 6, 7 o'clock, deal with home stuff, and then I would go back to work from. While building this business, I'd go back to work from about 8 pm to about 1 am, and that period of time I was listening to this very same type of music, and so either my creativity is born from the music or the music shaped me all those years ago, and now I'm just plugging back into that. Now, right and so, but I was even reading an article, I think, over the weekend how, um, not only do humans respond to to the vibration of music, but animals and nature?
Speaker 1:and you know, and even like this might sound a little like a little out there, but even like the plants around us, they respond to music. It's a. We hear it as like tones and like, and we hear it as like voice and instruments, but really it's producing a vibration, a frequency that, if you can figure out what works well for your mind, it can really help to release your creativity or, to today's topic, the inspiration to do our work. So, yeah, I would advise anyone that has not tried that trick to do it. And it's not just any type of music. You have to find the music that calms your mind but still keeps you active, doesn't? It's not too loud or hectic, it's not too quiet and soft.
Speaker 2:You just find what works for you you know, so I wonder, just to dig in a little bit deeper on that, the type of music that works for you is maybe that when you were grinding, growing the business, and you were listening to that type of music, it maybe at that time it wasn't the music, it was more your drive. And now listening to the music it's tapping you back into that state of mind, because they talk about music bringing you back to a state of mind like people who have memory issues and you know illnesses that create memory issues.
Speaker 2:You know, and especially in elderly people, if they play music from their youth or a good time in their life, it kind of brings them back to then right yeah, yeah, like someone you know might not remember their own daughter, they play that music and it's almost like they're going back to that time and they remember the person, that sort of thing. I wonder if there's an element to that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think you could be onto something I had a little intuition about. Maybe that was the case, I don't know for sure. If it's like I I programmed myself all those years ago and now I'm plugging back into it, or it's something that always existed and I plugged into it then and now I'm plugging into it now again. But, um, it's not like special, like study music or classical music or anything like that. It's just like acoustic singer-songwriter stuff like iron and wine. I put on Pandora, which is so outdated, but that's what I did back then too, and it's the Pandora playlist of iron and wine and related bands that are along those lines. And I will say, to expand this further, setting the proper environment.
Speaker 1:So, for some people maybe it's low light, maybe it's wearing blue blocker glasses, or for some maybe it's the. What's the scent in the room? What's the predominant smell? Is it leftovers from dinner, or is it like the street chaos in your office, or is it? Do you Is it a candle that you have on in the room that kind of brings you down and brings you into focus, or I don't know. Some people aromatherapy right, it's. All this stuff in the wellness industry is there because it works in some way, shape or form for people and I think, borrowing from that to bring our minds into a focused creative state, I think there's something there.
Speaker 2:It's true, when I kind of look at the, the different kind of atmospheres I've been in through my life, like when I growing up in Maine quiet forest noises, not no traffic, no sirens, no, nothing like that. Yeah, to college where Fitchburg, massachusetts, is a lot of sirens no, nothing like that. Yeah, to college where fitchburg, massachusetts, is a lot of sirens not a lot of street noise per se, but a lot of sirens, hectic. It's a college campus to worcester. You know you're starting to get that traffic, more sirens, chaos. And now I'm in the boston area and it's all that times 10. Yeah, like that's true. There's, there's been a huge introduction of, you know, outside stimuli into my atmosphere.
Speaker 2:That's something I don't really think about in that regard yeah, and we have that in common.
Speaker 1:I grew up equally as rural. I guess we haven't explored who came from a more rural town in Maine, but I share all those same sentiments. And now I find myself, and when I was grinding and growing this business, I was in a small town in Massachusetts that was very similar to the small town in Maine that I lived in. And now I'm sitting in Porter Square and it's just chaos outside my window, absolute chaos on certain days. And, yeah, I actually hadn't thought of that. But what's interesting is I find that during the day I'm doing all my meetings, I'm talking to lots of people and then around like 3 o'clock or so, I'm generally done with my meetings and that's when I'm going into the state that I'm talking about now.
Speaker 1:I'll take that walk or whatever, and come back, reset and put the music on. The lights I have on now to record this are off. It's pretty dim in here and the street noise has quieted down as well by that time. There's less sirens and there's traffic, but it's not chaotic People beeping at bikes and the buses sitting in traffic just blaring on their horns and and things like that. So, uh, yeah, it's all very interesting.
Speaker 1:All very interesting to think about and, um, and you know one other, one other thing I've noticed about myself recently and I think it could be applicable here for those listening is um, we don't realize the noise pollution that is affecting our well-being every day. There's, if you take the train to work, that noise that, that train noise, that like that, that like similar to like the drone of a plane right, that is, it's actually it's, it's taking your energy away, like it's sapping your energy. And I can say that that with certainty now, or at least for me. Maybe I'm extra sensitive to it or something, but I've been wearing noise, absolutely noise canceling headphones on the airplanes and even if I'm not listening to music, it just gets rid of that, that like that, that white noise in the airplanes and all the hectic airport, all that stuff that goes on when you're traveling.
Speaker 1:And I find that, even though, like, my ears start to hurt from like push my glasses into the back of my ear, you know, but when I get off the plane on the other side and I'm out of the airport and I'm in the car, I take those off I don't feel nearly as drained as I used to. Right Cause you're, if right, because if you're listening to all your mind, it's literally you think it's just your stuff going into your ears, but no, it's like your mind is recording all that stuff that's going on around you and it's really taking a lot of your vital energy that we could use for creative purposes. So another thing to maybe keep in mind when whoever's listening to this, it starts to explore how to tap into um, how to create an environment to release the most creativity and inspiration possible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Setting the stage. Yeah, that is an interesting. That's an interesting thought. Um, I, I remember reading a, a study in new york city about, you know, young people who live in a less than ideal situation.
Speaker 2:You know, next to trains or under trains and how it messes up their like sleeping and thinking patterns because it becomes, you know, such a part of your intake. Um, I, briefly well, I shouldn't say briefly for a couple years I lived in an apartment, uh, and in mass, just outside of boston and the. It wasn't a t-train, but it was a trolley that took people to a t-train and that thing would go by every 15 minutes, wow. And when I first started living there, I was like a problem, like I'm like god damn this effing trolley. By the time I left I didn't even notice it. Yeah, like I know you just get used to things, but like that can't be good because it's like loud, it's old, it's like the oldest running cart in the t system. They're from the like 40s or something. Yeah, it's. It was just the fact that it didn't even register in my like brain anymore after I don't know. I think I was there about three years. It was a problem. Um, so, yeah, that's a good. I hadn't thought of that in a long time till you, till you mentioned it. Um, yeah, no, I, I think something and I, if we mentioned this on the burnout thing and with eric, uh, tomorrow, I, music is definitely a help for me.
Speaker 2:I notice days when I'm driving into the office if I don't listen to music. I'm definitely not as kind of tuned in. It definitely helps me hone in and focus in Headphones. I have a love-hate relationship with, to your point. It does help me kind of get started. That's usually the hardest part for me is getting started, cause, like you can write emails and you can do busy work all day but not get to the meat of what you need to do. So headphones helps me, definitely helps me just kind of get started. And then, once they start to get uncomfortable, I'm like you know, throw these, know, throw these, throw these things across the room, yeah, um, but yeah, music definitely. And I I am going to test that now. I'm going to test sort of different genres and different time periods when I was listening to music and see if that sort of dials in something. That's a.
Speaker 1:It's a cool thought yeah, that'd be a fun experiment. Um, because there's other types of music that I could like. If the if, this pandora station, it tries to throw a curveball at me and it goes outside of like the if, if, like the genre is 90 one thing and it throws something else in there. Um, it does just, it distracts me and it it pulls me. It pulls me back into the, the physical. I guess, if that makes sense it takes me from.
Speaker 1:You know, there's a reason when creative pros, like when we really dial in, the time goes by so fast. Right, because we're, we're not. We're not in the. We are physical, obviously, but we're not focused on the physical environment around us. We're focused on the task, and I think that's what we're trying to get to right now is the how do you, how do you find that when it's not just there, when you, when you sit down to do something and you're just like, okay, I'm going to sit with email for a while, so I feel like I'm doing something today, but you know, yeah, just how to, and then to sustain it as well, what I find is I will sit down with the expectation I'm going to start and finish one task, you know. So everything that I'm talking about the music, the environment, the everything is to motivate myself to do one thing and after I complete that, then I can make a decision Do I want to do this all over again with a new task? And sometimes I'll have two other things that I'd like to get done, if I can maintain that state of mind without distraction or fatigue or or something.
Speaker 1:But I think for creative pros to expect to always just be able to sit down and crank things out?
Speaker 1:Um, I think it's unrealistic.
Speaker 1:I think having well, I, I should say you should qualify that with depending where you are in your career and the type of creative work you're doing right, um, I think you and I are a little bit we're sort of on the mature side of our career.
Speaker 1:You know, um, we're both, I believe we're both around the same age, and, you know, been doing this for a similar amount of time, and so what we're talking about will apply to to us, but, um, anyway, my point, though, is is that you may need to do all the things we're talking about, and then, and then get up and reset and start and like, okay, now I'm going to go home, and when I get home I'm going to do this one task, and but when you get home, you're resetting that environment in order to plug back into it that sort of thing. So, like anything, there's imper, impermanence. There's no, everything is impermanent. So you're gonna, you're gonna find that that sweet spot to crank out a task, and then that sweet spot could be fleeting, and then you're left with, like needing to, to lean on another, another tactic that you have for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, like and you mentioned this too like when I was, I don't know, I don't know seven years ago, I found 3 pm, like you said, 3 pm on was kind of like when I could really get into something and work till you know, 1 am, 2 am even. That's really when I hit like a good creative space, and then now it's like 6 am, yeah, actually. Yeah, 6 am to 1 pm is really like a good time for me, like to get stuff done, and then in the afternoon my mind is like shifting to home so like yeah, for me it's definitely changed over time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that might, that might change again, you know, and my son gets older.
Speaker 1:So, um, yeah, good point I definitely am not working that eight to midnight shift anymore, or like the eight to one that I was doing before. That was 15 years ago or whatever, and my life looked a lot different back then. You know, um, and for those listening and curious about this, we do have a other, we have another episode that talks specifically on burnout and routine and, um, life balance and stuff like that, which we're starting to touch on a little bit here. But, um, I I agree with you. Uh, those early morning hours I don't know if we sound like a couple of old guys right here, but I'll just go with it, which you know. But like, yeah, if, like today, I got to the office a lot earlier than I typically do. I wanted to beat the heat in here and, yeah, I've already done half a day's work.
Speaker 1:You know it's, and it's 11 AM right now, um, and so just to crank through things, because at that side of the day you also have fewer interruptions with with client work, because they're they're dealing with their own families and they're trying to get out the door to their own office, and if we can sneak out ahead of that, then um, yeah, so yeah, and I think it's like to your point, it's like stage of life, stage of career, um type of work, uh, you know, we talk very generally about the creative arts, and you know, but that takes on a lot of different shapes and sizes. You know, there could be someone listening that just does logo design, right, or just does, uh, uh, copywriting like creative writing, you know, and I think, but I think that, um, there's sweet spots for everybody.
Speaker 2:It's just a matter of being intentional about finding them yeah, yeah, fine, yeah, trying to really hone in on it. Yeah, nothing, nothing I'm saying. I don't think you're saying either. It's like it doesn't work for everybody. Right, it's gotta find that thing for you, right? Yeah, find that ritual for yourself, you know, it's got to find that thing, for you, right yeah, find that ritual for yourself.
Speaker 1:You know, another thing that comes to mind and actually I experienced it just today is another way that you may also recognize for breaking through creative blocks and um, difficult clients. So we're dealing with a difficult client right now and so whenever I see an email pop in the inbox from her, it it like activates me Right, and I think it's. It's taken a long time for me to be activated in a neutral way. I'm not activated to like no, you're wrong and I'm going to reply to you right now and tell you why you're wrong or anything like that. It's. It's.
Speaker 1:It's taking in the difficult, the difficult demanding client and transmuting that in a way that it produces good work. It's like cause. You can take that in two ways. You can be like F, you like we're not a good fit. I'm going to fire you or all the degrees of options that you could take in that situation.
Speaker 1:But we really value our reputation in customer service and if you get wrapped up in the client drama, that is a demotivator and that will actually spill into all your other work for the day. If you're ignoring that client or you're being combative back with the client, it creates a mindset that's sometimes hard to get out of and you can get sucked down into the weeds with that, and so I would encourage anyone listening, or maybe challenge anyone listening, to think about what it means to take a negative feedback or negative comment or an unrealistic client and have that be a type of creative inspiration. Right, here's your chance to, to, to wow and impress outside this container of drama, and I think that is a it's next, it's kind of next level, honestly, because I can't always do it, you know I wish we had this conversation monday.
Speaker 2:It's so funny. It's so funny you brought this up because I had a meeting or I had a cold. Someone reached out potential client called them green flags. In the conversation we're talking about pricing and ways to really bring as at the set budget and all that sort of thing. So we had a good, good exchange on the phone. And then it gets to some emails.
Speaker 2:I was actually working on something very similar to what they were looking for, so I sort of sent them something that was in progress and I'm like, hey, just FYI, it's in progress. The setting is not ideal, but it's the something that you're look. It's basically what you're looking for, almost exactly. But just keep in mind, like it's work in progress and it wasn't an ideal location. But here it is. And we kept going back and forth. They kept looking. They wanted examples like exactly like the examples they shared with me, and I'm just like eventually I got to the point. I was just like I don't have those examples and they're like that's fine. And then they asked how we invoice and I'm like okay, and then they said, oh well, we don't want to put any money up front because we're not sure we're gonna like what you produce, almost implying if we don't like what you create for us, we're not gonna pay you right?
Speaker 1:no, not like saying it, basically not implying yeah it was.
Speaker 2:It was creatively worded but mean, it was just straight up saying that and, um, I'm like you know, I really appreciate you reaching out, uh, totally understand that, uh, invoicing structures and work for you, uh, thanks, yeah, but I did get like it did make me like very upset but I was just like pissed off. Like you took up I don't know all in all the emails, the conversation, an hour, maybe an hour and a half. So I went home and I got that email literally the second. I parked in my driveway saying that and I'm like so I brought that negative energy, like I was in a crappy mood the rest of the night, like I, like you, said I wish I had this conversation, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a real thing. I mean you could have a whole we could probably do a couple of episodes just on that one thing, and how, for me, that contributed those were the early days of my burnout was I was receiving those types of emails, sitting in the driveway and bringing it into the home, and you know that, yeah, it's a slippery slope. And so, yeah, and I think through, I read there's a book called Think and Grow Rich that most people have heard of, Napoleon Hill. It's a very, very famous book. It's not about getting rich financially I mean that can be a byproduct of it, of what he talks about but there's a chapter towards the back that it's I'm about to go PG-13 a little bit here, but it's called Sexual Transmutation, which talks about transmuting.
Speaker 1:So, like, as humans, we have this. We have a tremendous amount of power in us to seek a mate. Right, I know you're married. You've been married for a while, but you might remember back when you weren't married and you were seeking someone to date, the amount of energy that you would put into that. You're basically interviewing and being interviewed, and especially with online dating, it's like, oh my gosh, all the energy and time that goes into that and what his point is. We can, if we decide to, we can transmute all of that natural power, energy, focus, all that stuff that we put into finding a mate. We can put that into other areas of our life, and what I've done is adopt or adapt that for things that we're talking about today.
Speaker 1:How do I take in the negativity coming from this client and turn that into something great or turn that into an opportunity to practice separation and boundaries? Okay, it's six o'clock. You sent me a crap email. You know what? There's nothing I can do about it. Tonight. I'm not even going to let it affect my mind and transmute that funky energy into I don't know something else in my evening. And I'm not saying it was an easy thing and it's still a work in progress, but, um, you can, when just being aware of the concept, you'll, you'll maybe come across these opportunities in your day to practice that right or at least be aware of what's happening and yeah, so I think I think that's super powerful. Um, I'm not advising people to like become monks or anything, but I mean, hey, if you want to do that, you'll have even more power if you can learn how to transmute it.
Speaker 2:But yeah, no, this, this definitely just. I mean a lot of what we talk about sort of always intersects with each other.
Speaker 1:But this just circles back to detachment and like detachment is a superpower, it's I wonder if, in a situation like that I know you may have already been, you've already, I think it sounds like that one's closed at this point. But I wonder, in a situation like that, you maybe have a. Instead of them paying a 50% upfront for the work, it's more of a consultation fee of sorts, where they pay, let's say, the project cost was $5,000, but instead of paying 2,500 upfront and they risk not liking the work, they pay $500 to do a proof of concept or something like that. I wonder if there's a room in your space for something like that.
Speaker 2:There might be. Yeah, there probably is. I just my mind goes to like I don't know, I don't know. I guess I don't have a good answer. I just I guess this is my gut reaction to that. It's like why should I bend over backwards for you? If you are gonna stiff me on the invoice? Yeah right, like that, that's to me. That's the the.
Speaker 1:You've burned the bridge dude, I get it it comes back to respect it. That's a respect thing?
Speaker 2:uh, they don't that tells me they've done that before yeah, someone right, oh we didn't like it. Yeah, you know, thanks for thanks for the attempt. Yeah, almost saying their time is so valuable that like we don't have, you know, I mean, yeah, like my time is much more valuable than yours because of xyz there. Maybe they're not saying that, but that's how it's. I interpreted it again.
Speaker 1:I think it comes back.
Speaker 1:I deal with this a lot too, and I think it just comes back to certain people don't quite understand the work we do.
Speaker 1:And, going back to what you said earlier, like we're not sitting around, like like what people see in the movies, with tech startups playing foosball and eating pizza and then doing some work at some point in the day, and like riding the slide from the second floor to the first floor, like we don't. That's not the reality. The reality is like we're professionals and we may know we're a suit and tie to work every day, but the work that we produce helps businesses to to grow, and that's a really important role in in the economy. So I think we just need to hold out for the, for the clients that respect our work and understand. So. So kudos to you. By the way, what we're seeing here is you have set boundaries, whereas I'm like, hmm, maybe there's still a way to get some money out of you, and that's not a healthy thing, because then you fast forward six months and they're still approaching you in the same way. They just paid less money up front, right? They still have that hang up about not understanding the value.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I mean I'm only assuming at this point. I guess you should never assume that I'm not going to hear back from them, but maybe I do and maybe everything goes great or whatever. But I feel like that's in the 5% chance that moving forward at this point. I feel like that's in the like 5% chance that moving forward at this point, yeah. But yeah, I just I don't know I, and once you hear that, you kind of look back at the conversation and maybe things that seemed like green flags suddenly become okay, maybe that's not what they meant there. You know what I mean. Like I'm overanalyzing at this point, but like I've had too many clients like that and I just I don't want to go down the road again. Yeah, cause, no matter what, it's a messy sort of breakup. Once you get in together, yeah, yeah, then it's, then it's, it's messy and nasty and it takes months and months and months to be, like you know, free of each other. So I don't know, maybe, even if they do reach back, maybe I don't pursue it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have touched on this, I think.
Speaker 2:A lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the idea that, like the energy that you and I've been experiencing it as well there's a real energy behind saying no, right to say actually thanks, but it seems that we're not a good fit like we wish. Wish you well, but um, and the more that I do that, the more that I do that, the more that I find and it could just be like coincidence I don't have any no science to back this up, but if I do, if I do that, let's say once in a month, I find, even at that small frequency, that the some of the opportunities that come along after that are a much better fit. And I don't know how to back that up with any sort of like scientific numbers or whatever. But I think you are, there's a real thing of energy. It's like energy is real, like quantum mechanics proves that.
Speaker 1:Uh, and how we, how we think and how we act, it does affect how we, how others think, in, in, react to us. And I think the more we can set those boundaries, the more likely it is we'll find those ideal clients. But it's hard in the moment because you want, you want new clients, you want the revenue, you want the creative opportunity, right, and so it is so tempting and tantalizing at times to be to to bend to the client and in ways that maybe is not healthy, and then it just we attract more of those similar clients that we have to bend for.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Yeah, yeah, I know, yeah, I feel that to to kind of the flip side of the coin on this, I, I. There was another. I had another meeting last week. Um, they found us because they watch ns builders, youtube and they're like they want to do something like it and in the conversation I guess, looking at those two conversations in contrast, the one who saw Nick's YouTube and has followed it for how, however long, spoke in verbiage, like looking at us like a partner, you know, we need to. You know, and we haven't agreed to anything, or you know, we're still kind of an early talks and what have you. But, like the, the verbiage they used, we, we, you know we came up a lot, whereas in that other conversation it was more like hey, I have this problem, which is what business is? I have this problem, can you fix it? But there was a lot of like is this included? Is this included? What does this get me? What does this get me? What does this get us?
Speaker 2:Like meaning, meaning us, meaning them, like not us working together, us, um, so I, I don't know to your point, like I think I have to have, I have to have a better sense of like tuning into that and not I see it in hindsight, yeah, I don't see it in the moment sometimes because, like you said, I'm eager to get that like, okay, here we go, a little income, little, this little, that let's, that's, this works, this will be good, eager, eager to get there, instead of maybe just kind of processing in real time a little better of, okay, you know their, their general demeanor, their attitude, the words they're using, um, maybe kind of analyzing that in real time a little bit better. I, I think I have to get better at that, um, and it might save me from, I don't know, it's like, at the end of the day, an hour and a half big deal, yeah, it's more than an hour and a half big deal.
Speaker 1:Yeah it's more than an hour and a half.
Speaker 2:It was like 12 plus hours that it affected. Thankfully, tuesday was fine, I woke up and the bad taste was out of my mouth, but still I'm more mad at myself than anything for letting it ruin an evening.
Speaker 1:It's real. It's real though it's. I mean I have. I have some systems that I've been using in terms of detachment and like telling myself there's nothing I can do it right now, Nothing I can do about it right now it's seven o'clock at night, like what am I going to do about it right now? I'm not going to allow this to come into my mind, but this doesn't always work. There's variations of what that email might say or whatever. But I will say that I've come a long way and maybe people listening can recognize with this but or identify with it. There was a time you know, five years ago maybe, or even less, that I would sit and write an email back at like eight or nine o'clock and like it's not me writing it, it's my ego writing it.
Speaker 1:And so the next day when I go and I look at the email that I wrote, it's cringy because now I'm in a different mindset. It's super if you ever do. I've gotten to the point where I go home now. Even like last week, I'll go back and I'll be home, just kind of decompressing. I'll go on my phone and look at all my sent emails from the day and I'll look at what is. Is there anything in here that I'm going to have to feel cringy about tomorrow or apologize for or make up for? Because if you write in the moment of the heat of the moment, man, it's your ego writing it, it's not your mind, and so my goal to myself is to not have any cringy send emails in my email when in my in my email when I look at them later in the day, and that's helped keep me in check in the moment I love that.
Speaker 2:No, every time I've to your, every time I've let the ego write the email that a hundred percent, I look back like why did I ever type that? And then hits end whenever I haven't. I. I've actually implemented this a long time ago and didn't even, I guess I I did implement this a long time ago when I particularly midway through my first business um, whenever I have like an, an angry or ego-driven email, I wait 24 hours, and there were some times where I was like through my roof, angry about and I honestly can't even tell you why I was that angry I'd wait 48 hours, 24 hours or 48 hours before I respond. Yeah, and then it's a completely different to, like you said, waking up the next morning and reading what you wrote and being like, oh man, every time, every time I did that exact, it's exactly that there was no feeling of like. Yeah, I told them it was. Why would I ever send?
Speaker 1:that you created more of a hole for yourself. So yeah, so much. I think today. A lot of good stuff came out today. I think I think I have some ideas for other episodes now also that we can maybe look at, but I think this is a very important topic and I hope those listening find some value from it yeah, yeah, yeah, in some way shape or form, yeah, um, what?
Speaker 1:uh, you got anything cool going on, anything you've watched, listen well, I've been completely absorbed by the tour, tour de france, uh, tour de france, um and uh, well, actually this is a little nugget. So yesterday so my son's in town and you know, I think I mentioned before he's, he lives in france and he got really into genealogy, uh, back during the pandemic, he uh whatever that ancestorcom or whatever and through that process he learned that our family has a museum, oh, the Wing Family Museum. It might have a different name but it's in Sandwich, down on the Cape. We went there yesterday because he's in town and he wanted to see it and the house was built in the 1600s. Whoa, the house is older than the country. Yeah, uh, and the things that we learned about, how dude I think, those early settlers, they were maybe just a couple of steps above like the animal kingdom, like that was some rough living, really rough living, and it's just, it's just really eyeopening when you, when you learn that the history books don't tell you the stuff that we learned yesterday, you know. So, so, yeah, it's the wing, the wing house and sandwich.
Speaker 1:If anyone listening is really into old houses and history and learning how people used to live in those days, it was really something we got our $10 worth, that's for sure. So those are my two things. Yeah, the tour I'm a day behind, but they started the mountain stage on Monday and they're like four to five hours long so I can't watch them all. I have to. Takes me two or three days to get through one stage. But the guy that I'm rooting for, jonas vindigo, he, uh, he is supposed to really create some separation in the time during these stages, so I'm excited.
Speaker 2:So what about you?
Speaker 1:what's going on?
Speaker 2:uh, nothing too much. I guess I really haven't, even, I guess I really haven't watched anything this week, so nothing, nothing cool.
Speaker 1:Been doing a lot of uh y files, yeah, and a lot of uh youtube um yeah, we still have to carve out time to talk about swap stories about the Y files yeah, I've been doing his compilations just because I'm kind of catching up, and then there's like three or four episodes in it, some really good ones, oh yeah they really get you thinking, a lot of them, especially the ones that he can't discredit.
Speaker 1:It's just like open still, like you know, it's there's, in fact I told someone I need to go and find it. Maybe I'll do it now that we're talking about it after we wrap up. But there's one on the simulation theory, that that AJ did and it's probably the best, the best overview of simulation theory that I've seen, and I think within it he has a double slit. The double slit experiment is well explained in that same, that same episode which, um, I kind of alluded to it earlier with the quantum mechanics comment that I made around energy and you know the fact that, like electrons are in multiple places at the same time, which breaks our common understanding of physics, right and uh. So so he goes into really great detail. I'll check that one out if you haven't seen it yet okay, yeah, I definitely will.
Speaker 2:I. Uh, the one that really caught my ear the other day was I didn't realize there's a. You hear about the bermuda triangle, the alaskan triangle. I had, I had no idea that was a thing and, uh, I can't think of the name of the mountain in Alaska, but yeah, the one with like the, the base inside of it, or yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah alleged thing, but there there's some crazy stuff about Alaska and the amount of people that go missing. In Alaska I guess because of the weather primarily, but Massachusetts is actually the smallest it's two people per 100,000 or something, I can't remember the exact equation. They go missing, yeah, but it might be more. It might be a million per million. In Alaska it's 176 or something. The same equation.
Speaker 2:Wow 76 or something, the same equation. I can't remember. I can't remember the, the exact um, like the number it's being compared to. But wow, it's another. It's a huge jump, no, but then when you think about the amount of people there, there's a reason they're paying people to live, to move to live there.
Speaker 1:They pay. They pay you, like in your tax breaks or whatever, to live to live there. Yeah, so they can they lure you in with the tax breaks or whatever to live there. Yeah, so they lure you in with the tax breaks and then you go missing. Sounds appealing to some people.
Speaker 2:I guess you go missing in the triangle.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But anyway, thanks folks for jumping on today. We'll see you next week.
