Client Spotlight W/ Stacey Vanberg

In this episode of The Rebuild, I sit down with my client Stacey Vanberg to talk about what real transformation looks like beyond the scale.

Stacey is down more than 35 pounds, but what makes her story worth sharing is not just the weight loss. It is the consistency, mindset shifts, and lifestyle changes that made those results possible.

We dive into the challenges she faced before getting started, the habits that created momentum, and what changed when she stopped looking for quick fixes and started focusing on sustainable progress.

This conversation is an honest look at what happens when someone commits to the process, stays patient through the ups and downs, and learns how to build a life that supports long term success.

What We Cover

• Stacey's journey before coaching
 • The habits that helped her lose over 35 pounds
 • Mindset shifts that made the biggest difference
 • Navigating setbacks and staying consistent
 • What sustainable fat loss actually looks like
 • How confidence changes when you start keeping promises to yourself

Key Takeaways

• Long term success is built through consistency, not perfection
 • Small habits compound into massive results over time
 • Confidence comes from keeping your word to yourself
 • Sustainable change requires lifestyle change, not temporary effort
 • The scale is only one part of the transformation story

Whether you're just getting started or have been struggling to stay consistent, Stacey's story is a powerful reminder that lasting change is possible when you focus on the fundamentals and trust the process

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of the rebuild today. I have a special guest here, one of my clients and friends, Stacy. It's really nice to see you, Stacey.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Nice to see you. Good morning.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Thank you for coming in nice and bright and early and having an interview with me.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

It is early, but uh we start our days early.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Yeah, with the with the family life and everything and the uh the hustle. I know it's it's we're all in that same boat. I I usually try to sleep in a little bit on the weekends. I get up like really early the front half of the week, like 3 45, 4 15 in the morning. And then I try to sleep until about 5 30 or 6, which is funny that that's sleeping in now.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Yeah, me too. I'm a I'm a 4-40 every like every day.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Are you a morning gym person? Is that why?

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Yeah, definitely morning gym person, but morning just morning overall.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Gotcha. Yeah, that makes sense. Me too. I'm it's so funny. I made a story the other day on my Instagram where I had said something like, you know, I used to wonder like my dad, he'd be like 7 45, 8 o'clock, and I'd be, you know, 10, 12 years old. And he would just be snoring on the couch, you know, every night. And I'd think like, why what are you going to bed so early for? You know. And then now as a fully functioning adult, I'm like, man, some days I don't barely make it till nine o'clock. I'm getting shorter and shorter later. I can stay up.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Right. I know. Last night we were in bed by without Savannah, we were in bed at like 9.45.

unknown 1:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Oh, that's so funny. That that's a night out from death. Yeah. 945. That's really good. Anyway, you know, it's it's really nice to have you here. One of the reasons I I wanted to just share your story of such a great powerful story, and I've had the blessing of kind of walking through some of it with you. But I would kind of love to know, like, you know, and we'll get into kind of some of the things you've overcame and you know, some of the things you're still working on. But I I would love to know kind of where your health and fitness journey started, and you can take me back as as far as you want. You know, like was were you really healthy growing up? Where would did you have great habits going into your adulthood, or was this something that you had to start focusing on, you know, at a later age in life?

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Um, I I started focusing later on in life. Um, I mean, growing up, I lived with my grandparents, so you know, grandma's cooking is not always the the most nutritionist, but it was great. Um, so probably um I well I started running. So that's where it really started. I started running like five through the running room, five K's, ten K's, half marathons, and then um eventually did three full marathons. Yeah, that was uh that was it was it was really fun. I met a lot of really great people doing it. Um and then we moved to Houston and it was just too hot to run in Houston, like you would have to get up at four in the morning and be done by six or seven. But no matter what you wore, you were you it was just it was hot, it was miserable. Um I ended up getting a TFL injury um from overtraining, so that kind of took me out for about six or seven months. Um, and then I just uh Randy was working all the time. We had lived in Houston. I couldn't work while we were in Houston because of the type of visa he was on. So I there was a gym, a CrossFit gym that had just opened up literally right behind our fence. So I ran a half marathon that morning and then went to do an hour CrossFit training. Yeah, you did. Um so we we I did that, I met some really great people, and I I got hooked. That's right. I was going twice a day, and and then yeah, that's really where I really got into how how long ago roughly was that?

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Like say when you started running?

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Um when I started running oh 2000 in between 2005 and 2006.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

Gotcha, yeah, yeah. So that's like 20 years ago already. Okay, so that's a good that's a good journey. Did you find that um this is more of a question just because I'm curious, did you find that the running community and or even the CrossFit community um was just that? Do you do you feel like they have I think they have pretty good communities? This I hear a lot of good things about like joining, you know, running clubs and things like that. They they're very good at organizing community.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Yeah, it was um it's hard to meet adult. It's hard to meet friends when you're an adult. Like it's not as easy as like my five-year-old daughter. I know. Um so it it I met a l a really amazing group of girls and and men, and and then Randy got into it and we like did it as a couple. We ran our first marathon together. Um and yeah, then our then we had Savannah and it just got harder and harder to train and yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

And so what year did you get pregnant with Savannah then?

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Um in 2020. 219, 2019.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

2019. So she was a COVID baby.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Oh very much a COVID baby.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Okay, yeah, this makes sense. And uh, like were you pretty dialed in in your health pre-pregnancy? Did you feel like you were at the best place that you had been up until that point, at least, anyway? Definitely, yeah. Did the pregnancy like influence that negatively or positively, or what was your journey like through pregnancy and then kind of post-pregnancy?

SPEAKER_01 5:34

I had an amazing pregnancy. I only gained 24 pounds. Um yeah, so I I was super we were super healthy. Um yeah, just I worked out my whole pregnancy. Um, of course, most of it was at home, but it still worked out. Yep. Um I was on the Peloton a lot, um, and then we had my my labor was great, my everything was good until I had Savannah, and then I ended up in ICU for three days.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

What went on with that?

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Um I hemorrhaged. Okay. So yeah, I basically had to get nine blood transfusions in the course of three days. Um so I then I couldn't work out for eight or nine weeks. I I had to like get all my hemoglobin and I was at a four at the my lowest in the hospital and had to raise it to at least a seventy or eighty. Um and that took months.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

It makes sense. Did you kind of feel like some loss of identity around that, like going through that, or because motherhood was staring you in the face, was it kind of just like you didn't really think about it as much?

SPEAKER_01 6:42

You know, I I I didn't really think about it. Like I didn't I feel like a lot of people ask me that because a lot of people go through a lot of different um postpartum stuff. And to me, I just had this baby now, and that was and it was purposeful.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

So that's true.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

That was just kind of our our main thing. But no, I didn't I didn't really have anything. I just got right back to it makes sense as I could.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Yeah. And so one of the things I'm really interested in because a lot of folks, you know, like and I'm sure maybe you even said these things yourself. I know I have for maybe it's not about health and fitness, but for something that we all know we want to work on, challenge ourselves, whatever, you know, it's like, well, maybe I'll focus on it uh after we move, or maybe after Christmas, or you know, well, when it's the right time. And one of the things I'm always very uh one of the things I really admire about you is you kind of take this approach to like make the best of what's in front of you. And so I'm really curious to know like how the you know, you moved to Houston. Maybe walk us through that just like a little bit. Like, you know, you were living where and why did you go to Houston? And then how did that kind of influence your fitness journey and how did you keep that on the tracks with such a big move? Like most people don't move internationally, you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Yeah, so I mean, uh R Randy and I worked together um like for about 10 years, um, pri almost 10 years prior to moving. We moved there because he was opening another location in Houston to build it up and then eventually to sell it. Um so when we went up there, I had I knew I wasn't gonna be able to work with the type of visa he was on. So my goal was to try to like meet people um so that I had something to do. So then when I got into the running, I had met some people. Um, but then when I got into the CrossFit, I really like there was about two or three girls that I really clicked with. And so then I started just you know, do doing like hanging out with them, and and then we just worked out, worked out, worked out, went for walks, like hung out um a lot, and then we only were in Houston for two years um before we had to come back. Um so then we moved everything back and um and then a few months later we decided that we were gonna try to try again because we had quite the fertility journey to have her. Um we tried for about 12 years and then we weren't going to anymore. We were just not gonna have kids. Um and then we decided when I was 40, actually on my 40th birthday, that we were gonna try one more time, and then so we did that and now we uh here we are.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Oh, I didn't know that. That's actually amazing. That's so cool. You know, it's I can only imagine like some of the the emotional journey, right? Because as humans, it's like when we decide we want something, we kind of want it, right? But then there's so much in that process is just out of your control, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

And there's a huge bunch of surrendering that has to go into that. And you know, I I don't have kids, but I I want them. And I think about this often because I'm such a person, I know Randy's like this too, where like once I decide I want something, I'm almost like autistic. Like I can't, I won't even sleep, like depending on what it is. But it's like until that itch is scratched, I I just that's where all the energy goes. Right. But in something like this where you have so little control, obviously you get it's kind of funny, but like there's limited opportunity in some sense. You can't be just doing that all day, every day. You have lives to live, you know? And so it just uh I can only imagine kind of like what that feels like in some sense.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Yeah, yeah, it's definitely a tough, a tough thing to go through, but um, in the end it was all worth it.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Yeah, and I mean she's so sweet. I've had the opportunity of meeting her, she's very smart, very, very, very in tune. So it's nice for you guys. And I don't know if you know, I'm sure it doesn't really matter, kids are always great, but there's probably a little something like when you guys are having deep private conversations to yourself. It's like remember when we almost, you know, we maybe didn't we weren't gonna try again, or you know, uh, you know, thank the Lord for giving us the courage to step up one more time, you know.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

That's cool. When you were when you were in Houston, what did you this is more of just my own personal curiosity. Because I've I a couple times in my life, I almost moved to Phoenix once in my adulthood, and I actually almost moved to Houston. I was gonna open a gym there, and then COVID actually hit so that kind of just like it was the opposite where COVID kind of screwed up that plan instead of accelerated it.

unknown 11:23

Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Because if you notice during COVID, it's a little bit of an aside, but either someone's life trajectory kind of like shot up on the exact trajectory that I was on, but like on a rocket ship, or it went completely in the other direction. There was like no in between. It was like, oh, my business went from kind of being okay to like now I'm a millionaire, or I have a business that's been on going okay for 10 years, now I don't have one. It would just like one or the other. There was very few kind of just like if I ever asked someone about COVID, they're they're very rarely like, well, it's pretty normal, you know, put my mask on and uh just went to sleep and did my work, you know. Like it was very rare people have all these kind of up or down stories. So what was it like going to like a different country uh during that, like coming from you know Canada, kind of the prairies to Houston? Did you find it massively different? Did you like the culture? Did you not like the culture?

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Um I we loved it and still love it. Um yeah, we we really did like it. It was a bit of it's very Alberta and Texas, uh, Houston are very similar. I think there's a lot of oil field in Houston, so it it's you do get a little bit of similarity, but as far as like and the people are great, but it's just as far as some of the like going into restaurants and seeing um like police with these big huge like rifles, and our police have like little, you know, um, so some of that stuff was different where you I had a friend that would drive around with like her gun right on her driver's seat. And to me that was like crazy, crazy.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Yeah. Do you and this is a weird question maybe, but like are you scared of guns? Do you have experience with guns and stuff?

SPEAKER_01 13:06

No, I it just was it's just something I never saw. Like anytime my family or something had a gun, it was like locked away. Um a hunting tool or something like that. We just didn't see it on your driver's.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

They're weird, this is a really weird question, but like what and this will never happen. But like if they just like snapped their fingers today and it was like that's how it is here, would you feel more comfortable or less comfortable? Like if you could just walk around and you don't be like open carry kind of thing like it is in Texas or Florida.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

I mean, I think because I've lived it, it probably wouldn't affect me as as much as someone else, because that's just how it was there. And and it nothing bad ever happened of it. They were always very safe. Yeah. But it's just to see it coming from Alberta to hear.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

I know exactly what you're talking about. You know, when I was younger, I started traveling a lot into North America, and I remember just being like, Oh, that dude's just rocking a revolver. This is cool. You know, like you go to Walmart and everyone just has a gun.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Yeah, yeah, it's just it's just different. But but we loved it. We we were actually really sad to come home.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

That makes sense. I like the heat though is something else there too, you know. What one thing that always one thing I like about here, uh particularly, and I'm like a conspiracy person kind of, but like I don't like where weather can kill me. And so, you know, like they have like hurricanes there and a whole bunch of other kind of you know, tsunamis. It's nice here that we're in this middle of this land bear and that really can't get attacked by any of that.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Yeah, that's nice for sure. Houston didn't get so much of that. I mean, their rainstorms were wild, like you've never seen. Um, but the heat, I feel like what how I compare it is like in the winter we go from heater to heater. And in the summer there, you go for you just go from AC to AC. Like you don't really spend time hanging out outside unless you're in a pool. That makes sense. You just go from building to building.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

That kind of makes sense. Like you you almost can't even be just like hanging out outside.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

No, you you're not going for a Saturday afternoon picnic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Because it's like you'd be drenched in sweat.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

Yeah, like the men would wear like Randy when he was working in his big shop, he would have to wear like kind of not dress clothes, but like nice clothes. So all the men would wear like t-shirts under their button-down shirts so that the sweat didn't like come through the shirt.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

Yeah, that's wild. And so when you guys came back here, how old was Savannah?

SPEAKER_01 15:39

She wasn't. She wasn't had her yet. I see. We hadn't had her yet. We I got pregnant. We got back in October. I got pregnant in January. Gotcha. And then COVID happened in March.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Yeah, that this this is all starting to make sense now. And so you walk through this pregnancy, you know, you have some, you know, min minor issues, but kind of get through it eight, ten weeks later, you you're starting to work out again. How did that feel? Kind of coming back to it after, you know, maybe not have having done it. Because I know you're a very routine person, and so once the routine was kind of not there, was it hard to add back in, or was it just like picking up something that you had left off with?

SPEAKER_01 16:15

It was just like picking this where I left off, except for like I couldn't go stacy hard. I had to like down. I had to like bring it down a notch because I still wasn't fully recovered from all the blood loss.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

So This makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

It took me probably a good six to seven months till I was like pretty much back to normal.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Yeah, so that that's a good while. Yeah. Was there any like frustration in that or did you just kind of accept like this is what it is?

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Um no, I just kind of accepted it because now I had this little brand new baby that I also had to take care of. So I was busy doing that. That makes sense. We had all the equipment at home, so it was very easy for me to like go do a quick workout or go on my Peloton or on our treadmill or so it was it was pretty pretty easy.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Yeah, and that makes sense. And that that kind of carried you up until what would you say, like 2024? Something like that, three?

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Um Yeah, 2023. And then as soon as the gyms were able to like as soon as we were able to get back in the gyms, um, I was like I was back.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Okay, yeah, this makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

We were we were I was there.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

That's funny. Yeah, I forgot about I try to erase masks from my memory. I know. It's such a trivial thing. And it's so funny that now, like I think it's weird that I could just say on a you know, a decent audience sized podcast that like we all know they didn't work. It's a complete joke. And you know, like three years ago, four years ago, I would have had this podcast canceled for saying that. It's so funny, but you know, as humans we learn, I guess. That's that's exactly what what we're here for. You know, one of the things that's really interesting to me is you're kind of coming out of this COVID phase, and then you know, gyms open back up. Walk me through a little bit about like from that. So you're back at the gym. Um, you know, gyms are opened up, and I don't actually know this, so I'm very curious. Like, how did you come across my slash our stuff? Because I know you've been working with me since trademark, since I was with trademark physiques and and we started that company. How did you kind of like decide uh, you know what, I want to try this? Uh this is like for me.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Had you had coaches before or yeah, so I I always kind of I never really worked by myself. Like I got you at years ago, I might have used like an app or something, but and that that never really worked for me. So I always feel like always had a tr a trainer, and then I would do some in-person and then some not in person, but I just feel like as I grew working out, I like like I outgrew kind of who I was with, or we moved, or just yeah, what you know, life. So I I was working I st I started at Movadi in I was there for two or three years. And I was with a a really good a really good tr um trainer there that I worked out with there. Um but I just felt that I wanted to go to to the like a the next level. So I just um started looking around and I don't know how I really came upon it, but I came upon trademark and I was I like watched their Instagram for a while and I was like, well, this I mean I was pretty nervous to reach out because that was like going from like here to like I see, yes, yeah. That makes sense. Quite a bit different. So I took the call and then they put me in touch with you, and that's kind of where and then when uh when the other stuff happened, we just then I was like, I don't want to change.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Like I like where things are going, and so then that's when I yeah, Stacy's Stacy's being nice, I guess, but in some sense, like because I had trademark physiques, we had started that company. Uh we had it for about a year, which it still exists, and uh Braden and Tosh still run it, very very good friends of mine. And they're very bodybuilding focused, and I just kind of wanted to shift away from that, and so I ended up leaving, and you were one of the people who kind of like basically came and helped, I guess, um start the rebuild, right? Because there was I I think I only I only had like maybe 15 clients when I left or something like that, or even less, maybe a dozen, you being one of them. And so I'm really grateful for that because you know, it just it was a very scary time for me in some sense. You know, I had just built this pretty big company, and then I was like, what am I doing? You know, like I I don't love this the way I want to love it. And I'm very grateful for the people who kind of like continued to give me a shot. And you've probably seen it change a lot even since inception, right? Because there was kind of nothing built because it was like a on a whim thing. You know, like I remember leaving on a Wednesday and thinking, like, okay, I have to have systems and everything ready for check-ins on Monday. You know, so I I need I have like five days to build an entire company that not necessarily like the whole systems marketing operations, but like the the fulfillment side, right? Like I have clients who are still here with me, and so we need to we need to get this done. And so what um what made and you can be very honest about this, what made you kind of is it just because uh you don't like change and you were like, I just don't want to change because I already got like a feel for this guy, or was there something you were like, Oh, I think it's gonna be better for this reason, or like what was the reason that you stayed?

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Um well I I just I liked where it was going. I liked um like the app, um the weekly check-ins. Um yeah, it w it was just it was already going so well for me that I didn't wanna like start all over and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

That makes sense to me. And you know, Stacey's very modest about her progress, but she's dropped about you know, 30 pounds, roughly, something like that, since starting. And you know, I know our goal. It's funny, I always like when you say this, it's like I I wake up and I see my abs, I love it. You know, it's like I always wanted that my whole life. And it's it sounds so kind of vain, but it's not, you know, because I I get it. When when when you've lived a life and you've never really seen that kind of, you know, it it's more it says more about like who you are and what you can do than the looking at it itself, you know. And I'm not saying that people can't chase vain goals. I definitely have, but I also feel like we we did a good job of managing, you know, kind of like the identity and the behavior side that goes into that along the way. Also, um not trying to make you live life like some bodybuilder or something like this, you know, still having free meals where you can go out and enjoy and you know, having some flexibility when needed for travel, etc. And so you've been a great kind of fit for the rebuild. Like, you know, if I if I could coach uh you know hundreds of people in your position, that makes me very happy. It's a it's a very good aligned thing, and obviously I've gotten to you know get a friend out of it and and and with Randy being being in my life as well now, which is nice because you brought your husband along. And so that's that's fun. We'll have to get him on an interview one one day too, maybe. But I I would I would be super curious to know, and obviously Randy can share this when we have him on, but like were you kind of like bugging him to sign up too, or was he just like watching in the background and he was just I am he was just watching in the background.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

I don't ever want to like pressure him to do something, so um I feel like people should do it because they want to do it, not because someone said, Hey, I like that. Um so no, he just watched from the background and um and and then that's why he had reached out so much.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

That's amazing, yeah. And I love coaching couples. It's actually you uh you learn a lot about what lifts someone up or holds them back when you coach a couple, right? Right, because oftentimes we don't realize how much our environments shape like our decision making, and you know, someone will have their own individual struggle. It's like you you almost have to share struggles and triumphs. And so if they're if they're if you have like a couple struggles that are uh different, then you both have two different struggles that you're kind of bringing into the middle, right? And so, you know, maybe someone wants a little more fun on the weekend, maybe someone doesn't want to go on the to bed at the same time, you know. And so it's it's a it's a managing game to learn all that, right? And it's kind of a vulnerable process as well.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Yeah, it's definitely been, I mean, we've he's watched me do this for years, so he kind of knows my routine, but and he's also done it for a long time. Um but it's it's nice to work with the same coach also and do it because now we're like using the same apps and we're doing the same thing and we're eating the same meals, and even like for this trip to Edmonton, um like our car is packed with meals and protein powder, and but it like it just works for us both now. It's just easier when both people are doing it.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

That makes so so much sense. Just like an aligned vision, I think is fun. And then it's fun because if you see him win, right, like whether he hits a new PR or whatever it is, right? Some milestone or a U, it's kind of like you can share in that. Yeah, and I think and it doesn't, you don't have to work with the same coach to do that, but when your lifestyles are aligning in that way, I I know from the past people who have like let's say they're very into it, they want to change their life physically, but they have a partner who's just like not at all in it, not not uh not interested at all. Maybe it's not even like they want to do it a different way, or you know, maybe one wants to run or lift weights. That's not someone what I'm talking about. More so when one partner is like, you know, really sedentary and kind of wants to be maybe drinking a lot or doing you know, doing these things that are maybe not optimal for health, and the other person ends up always feeling like resentful, kind of. Yeah, you know, and it's hard to avoid that. So I I love seeing couples come together. And because of that, what's really for me, what touches my heart about that, honestly, growing up in a very obese family and seeing like how that environment can really shape your long-term health and and mental health too. Getting to meet your daughter and then like knowing that she's seeing you guys put work into this, it's like, man, that that's generational work, it's deep, kind of makes me emotional. Because as you guys know, kids will do what they see, not what they told they're told. Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

And she's it's funny you say that because she does I mean, she watches everything that we do, but she will say when she's full or when she's like she doesn't get a lot of candy or treats, but she is a kid, so she gets some. Um but she also knows when she doesn't want any more. And she will just say, No, that's I'm done. I don't need it. Or um we do don't get we don't allow her to have a lot of like dyes. Um we try to we really try hard to um limit that so she knows like oh I can't have that, even when we're not together, like she'll tell people I can't have mommy won't we don't have that that has red dye in it. So she just she knows.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Um that's cool because she's not that like old to be articulated, you know.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

So she yeah, she she eats salads. People will be like what she eats sal she eats salads almost every day, like she loves them.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

So I I I would be super curious to to know this. I was actually having a conversation with Sarah about sort of kids and childhood, and I really like kids, and you know, I had this really interesting childhood. But one of the things that she had a very strict upbringing, and so did I. Uh and who how how am I gonna word this? I kind of I really like analyzing things. So she's telling me, you know, kind of about her childhood and the way her dad was, and and I was thinking about the way mine was, both very strict, like super strict, but her her dad came from it more from uh a fear-based perspective, and so there was almost more like a person who didn't have power that wanted to get it. And my dad came from it from a ego narcissism and he had power and didn't want to lose it. And so there was kind of two different pathways that you can take to tyranny, and both can be bad or have negative consequences. The interesting thing though, one of the things she's we both don't like authority, kind of, and but but she has a real problem when uh nothing was ever explained to her ever. And so, like, as an example, we were talking the other night, and I said, like, well, when your dad said no, like you you can't do that or something, like well, what what was the thing? And it was always like these super vague answers, like, why can't you take the car? And it's like, okay, uh, you can't take the car at your teenager, uh, because you didn't ask far enough in advance, and she'd be like, Okay, so if I want to in the future, like, is two days advanced enough? Well, I'm not sure because we don't know what's going on two days in advance. And I looked at her and I said, You have a heart for that because my dad never did that. My dad actually never said no to me outside of as long as I did what he wanted when he wanted, which was all the time, but in the 10% of my life where I had like objects, like, oh, can I take the yeah, go ahead. Like he just never said no. Right. And when uh I shouldn't say that, he said no all the time, but when he did, I knew exactly why. Like, exactly why. Like, why do I, you know, you're 11 years old, why do I have to get up at 4 15 in the morning to go cut wood in the boiler for to put in the boiler? Well, you see, because the boiler heats our house and it heats the hot tub and it heats the shop, and more importantly, the pipes that run underground heat the grain and they're drying the grain that we've taken off the field this last harvest. If you don't go put wood in that boiler, my grain will spoil, and then you mild as well run yourself over with the tractor because that's what's gonna it's gonna feel like when I'm done with you. And I and I so I explained this turn, I'm like, that's a pretty good explanation, actually. You know, like you're you're nine and your eyes are just kind of big, you know, but like I understood everything had that. There was like a very there was a rule, there was a reason, there was a logic behind it. Yeah, and you can see anyway how how that shaped us. The reason I say all that is I think you guys probably do a pretty good job, maybe not in that tyrannical way, but of explaining to her like why it's not just red die, bad, freak out, like can't touch it ever. Yeah, you know, it's like there's probably been a conversation where you treat her like a small adult, you know, like, hey, we're gonna explain this to you in in a concept you can understand, because otherwise she would never be able to repeat it like that.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

Yeah, she we we all we're very good at um telling her like why she we don't just say no, we like this is why we're saying no, because this has this in it and this doesn't isn't good for you, or this gives could give you this. Like you know, like there's just we we very much we sometimes I feel like sometimes we talk to her like she's not five.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

I think that's better than the opposite.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Yeah, so I think I mean h hiding stuff from her isn't gonna I feel like it doesn't really help her. So Susan needs to know everything. No, correct, yeah. You know, but I I feel like when it comes to putting things in your mouth and choosing how you eat, um it's better for her to know why we don't eat this stuff then because then she'll grow up and can make these choices when we're not there. You know, if she's with her friends or right.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

And I feel like if you do limited explaining and then you attach fear to it, it almost makes the person want to do it more. Right. Because they want to find out why it's so bad. Yeah. Right? Because it's like, if I can't understand it. And or if it's the different personality, they don't want to try it because there's so much fear around it, but then they create themselves like a bubble, you know, where like if if they happen to have some in a drink and didn't realize that now they're gonna have a breakdown at the end of the day because they don't understand, like, like I had it one time. It's like, no, no, that you're gonna be okay. It's not ideal, we don't want to do this all the time, but like you're gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

You know, it's kind of where we we go like um we just try to limit, you know, of course, exposure, right? Exposure. I mean, she's a kid, she's she's gonna eat stuff when we're not around, and and that's okay. We just don't want it to be like every all the time, or the one thing we are very strong on is we don't allow her to have so like pop or soda. I mean, she's five, there's no reason why she needs to have a can of pop. And and and i if other people allow that then that's totally up to them. Like we're okay with that too. But we just that's one of our things that we just there's no reason for it.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

Yeah, I mean, I mean you're you're being polite and politically correct with like everyone could do what they want. I think that that's getting a little bit pushed too far. Where it's like, no, if everyone wants to do stupid stuff, I think we should stop doing it. You know, and giving five-year-old kids like full especially full sugar cans of soda is a retarded thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

Yeah, sorry, it's very much.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Cancel me if you want, I don't like it, but that's fine. Yeah, it's like or uh like there's context, right? So it's like you know, once a year there's this, you know, Christmas time, or who knows, you know, people have traditions, that's fine. But like just because it's a Friday after school and you got a gold star because you got a thing, it's like let's not be rewarding with poison, in my opinion, right? But they gotta teach their own. I guess we get free will. But you know, it's it's been so nice just to like hear so I I actually learned a lot about your journey that I didn't even know, which kind of makes sense now. Um, and you're one of these people where like where you have a goal, you're very focused, you know. So it's like you'll you'll move through a s a sequence of steps to get it done. And one thing I wanted to ask you because, and this is this is the truth, about half the people I ever work with, I know they get a lot of value from working with me, but they actually never kind of walk through the full transformation that's available to them. Only about half the people do, maybe a little less, actually. And um because we set out a goal, and over whatever it is, over a year, I guess, um, you've attained that, and now we've had to remap some goals. Did it kind of like feel weird once you got there? Where it's like, holy shit, like this is me now, and I know because I know it's something you had thought about for a long time, but maybe never touched it. I think it's so important because uh a lot of people that get something like you've attained, they lose it almost because they didn't create a new identity to like when they got there. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Yeah. So even like yesterday we we were walking through the mall and went into a store and because right now like a lot of my jeans are like falling off, like way too big. Like you can't even delve.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Yeah, they like fold, you get to do like a kind of like a material fold. Yeah, so I've had that.

SPEAKER_01 36:00

Just even being in the dressing room and and like being like, like, wow, like it's it's not and now it's not just abs, right? It's like that's just a small part of it. Like now I'm seeing like definition in my shoulders and my legs, and um, so it's just all over changes now. So it when you kind of get a glimpse of that, like it makes you almost double take because you're like, oh, this is what I wanted, but it I've been trying to do this for 20 years in my but it's just never happened.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Yeah, and what's really fun too is you gave yourself enough time, right? Because I mean you essentially had like a you committed to a year which gave you a massive transformation, and then you committed to another year, right, which gives us enough time to kind of like set that transformation in stone.

unknown 36:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

And the fun part, um, I would say that the first half of the transformation is nearly not as fun as the second. And unfortunately, most people never get to the second half because they extrapolate the emotions and the hardships of the first half as if it's gonna be forever. And it's not actually. I call it the eye of the storm. Most people walk into the eye of the storm, get almost to the other side, they just didn't know it, and then they got like bored or turned around or you know, emotional, turned around, walk through the same storm back, and then six months later, they're like, shoot, I have to try this again. And they're starting where they started, not realizing like if I'd taken 15 more steps, which maybe let's say it was two more months, I was actually like through that, you know? And that's where because you know, obviously, like when you're losing when you have body fat to lose, you're gonna have to restrict some calories, you might have to do some cardio, you might not have as much freedom. And when your body is in a place that has over fat or hormone issues or gut health issues, and or mindset or behavior issues, uh, you can't do the same things as you would be able to as if your body was like functioning optimally. And that's what folks kind of don't understand. It's like, no, your body could run like this high performance vehicle, and right now it's not. So these are the protocols that we have to put into this vehicle that's like a 66 Chevette, you know, and when we get this thing running, you know, like a like a brand new Corvette, you're gonna be able to do different things, and you're starting to see that because I know one of the challenges for us was, you know, you had kind of adapted to getting uh, you know, having lower calories, right? Because it's like, okay, well, this is what's needed to happen. We got you to this place. Now I remember when we had the conversation of like, hey, it's gonna get uncomfortable a little bit, but very slowly. I'm gonna start moving your calories up. And I remember you being like, geez, it, I'll do it, you know, but like it if it feels hard. Do you still feel like that now some days, or not so much now because we've adapted like slowly over time? And I've I've kind of bumped you so slowly so that it just doesn't really feel like a big jump. Yeah. You know, and I do that for the psychological. I could have done bigger jumps physiologically, probably, but I always like to give people a little landing room.

SPEAKER_01 38:57

Yeah, I know it I I think that it's worked good for me. Um, because I'm a very number on the scale person. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Um so small increases do better for me than like um big. But no, I'm I'm super used to it now. Like now I'm in, you know, going from I don't know, like 12 or 13 to back up to, you know, almost 2000 is is great. And my body really likes it.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Yeah, and you know, it's it's funny too because when you do a hard thing of calorically, this is why I always recommend um, you know, whether even if you don't want to do like a huge transformation, like practice some fasting, people think that the body works so acutely, you know. So it's like you'll hear on social media like you should never eat below a thousand calories is so bad for you. Well, under what context? If you have a lot of body fat and for two weeks you do that, no, it's not really bad for you. It's probably the best thing you could do for yourself, to be honest. Uh, I don't mean mentally, that's a kind of another thing. I'm just kind of speaking physiologically right now. And if you can do that, you'll realize that, like, oh, 2,000 calories is a little bit more than what I thought, right? Because it changes your perspective, right? Because when you kind of have lived, you know, multiple months on 12 to 1600, when you get bumped back up to 2000, you're like, geez, this is actually kind of a lot of food. I feel feel pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:26

But if you're always eating hyper palatable foods and you know, eating out and things like that, 2,000 calories just it's gone. Yeah. Like it takes no time at all. Like I'm I'm in a fat loss phase myself right now. And when I'm in a fat loss phase personally, and I don't even necessarily recommend this to clients because it's an acquired skill. Um, you know, I'll go work out today, I'll have a couple scoops of protein, and then I'm just eating dinner. Like that's it. That'll be my meal today. And we're going to Olive Garden, so it's going to be a decent chunk of calories, you know. So I'll have my 2,300 calories probably in one sitting. And I wouldn't have to do that. It just takes probably five to seven days off the total fat loss journey, which is nothing. I'm just impatient and I can. So, you know, that's what I'm gonna do. But I feel like, you know, like when I'm when I was really obese, it's like I would have eaten my full, yeah, I wouldn't eat even out for lunch. I still would have had my ice cap and my bagel in the morning and some snacks. And then I would have gone to Olive Garden. It's like, man, you would have been, you know, 10,000 calories just like that. And so just learning to track, see the numbers. I feel like people treat their calories almost like they treat their money. And I hope this doesn't come off as ignorant, but it's like the reason that most people don't have the money they want is because they don't pay attention to it. You know, and I've done this enough where I get on console calls with people and they'll be like, you know, I don't know if I can afford it. I'm like, let's pull up your bank statement. And then you just see people squirm, right? And they don't realize, like, well, $40 here, $29 here, bang, bang, bang. But there's 35 of those transactions in a month that kind of didn't really do anything for you. If I would have removed them after the fact, you probably your life wouldn't have changed at all. Right. There's $800 right here, you know, and they're like, oh, geez. But we don't like looking at things when we're anxious about it.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00 42:11

It's like when you're obese, you know damn well you don't want to track your calories. Because if you're honest and you write everything down that's going in your mouth, you know that it's gonna equal exactly what you look like. The end. Like I've lived there, I know what it's about, and that might be a small amount for some people, and for some people who are in a really bad physical condition, it's gonna be a huge amount. And then your pride and ego has to wrestle with, like, oh, I am doing that. That sucks. And I shouldn't be doing it, but I am, and so then you have to repair yourself, you know, it's a whole process.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

Yeah, it's uh and it's a long process, it doesn't happen overnight.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

And so what and I kind of have a little bit of an idea about this because we've been talking about some of it, but what what are your big goals for the next year?

unknown 42:52

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

Like, well, if you had a magic genie right now where it's like, okay, I could just obviously I have to work for it and do these things, but like if I could have this certain outcome in my body, my physicality, my mindset, what does that look like for you?

SPEAKER_01 43:03

Um I mean, I just want it now to to be a regular lifestyle. Like I just it it shouldn't be hard anymore. Like it makes sense. Um what we do and how I eat. And um as far as what I would like I just would I would now like to like I'm fine with um like my weight. I just now wanna like have more muscle.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

Yeah, it's gonna be fun because that's in the next year, um, it'll be a different game, right? Because we were kind of like watching the scale, you know, not every week, but most time just like averaging downward, you know, and there was clothes are fitting like much differently, drastically, as you said. Your pants don't even really fit anymore, have to throw them and get a new wardrobe. The next while is going to be comfortable with like the scale staying around the same, maybe even drifting up a couple pounds over the year, not like you know, not two, three pounds, four pounds, maybe over. Entire year. Um, but the look changing really rap like a lot more rapidly, actually, interestingly enough. And that's because when you're lifting weights, and let's say you're putting on muscle when you're you know, when you have a lot of body fat, you don't get to visually see the changes because they're kind of hidden.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

Once you're lean and then you're adding some muscle, each quarter pound of muscle will show up somewhere on your body, you know, and like you said, all of a sudden I'm noticing, oh my delts, like what when did that happen? And it doesn't take much for that to happen, it's just that most people don't get to see it because it's kind of just being hidden by a layer of subcutaneous fat, you know. And so that's that's fun. I'm excited to kind of walk into this next year with you. And I guess just to end, I I always would like to ask, um, just because you I would consider you well on your way to a very successful case, if someone was like considering starting a health and fitness journey, and maybe they're you know, maybe they're a busy mom, maybe they're entrepreneur, and I know you guys kind of have both those lifestyles, what would you kind of maybe say to them to to just like take the risk on themselves? Is there anything that you know you would if you were talking to maybe a version of you from 10, 15 years ago that was starting, what what do you think you'd say now with the wisdom you'd acquired?

SPEAKER_01 45:12

Um, I think I would just say to take that chance, stop thinking about it. Um because like you had mentioned, like if you if if people always have an excuse why they don't want to start, and it's usually money. And so if you actually look at what you're spending your money on, probably afford it tenfold. Um so I think just take that chance and just I agree.

SPEAKER_00 45:37

And one of the things I've noticed with the money portion, and everyone's in a different position, and I understand this. I've been on both sides of the coin. I've like lived been living my car broke, you know, and uh and kind of not that. And so it's um it's one of those things where I've always been very good at I get what my dad would call just like brutal reality. And so when I wanted to make a health transformation, and you know, I you know, I wanted to hire my first coach, whatever it is, it was kind of like, oh, there isn't enough money for this other leisure stuff that I was doing. And so therefore that gets cut and then resources just shift, right? It was like a very, I guess like I'm so unemotional about things with when it comes to that. It's like this is what's required, then this is what must be done. That's just simple to me. Um, but I think a lot of people have this lifestyle bloat that they don't want to give up, you know. And I because I've asked people before, I'm like, well, do like uh one consult I was on a while ago, you know, there was like seven streaming services that were like, and like I like TV and movies and stuff. I'm not I'm not against that at all. I'm a nerd. I have many of them myself. But I was like, you know, if you're in this position, like we added it up, I'm like, this is 270 bucks, it's like half of the monthly coaching fee from just stuff that I guarantee you, some of these you probably don't check in a month. Like, I bet you haven't been on maybe Crave or Hulu or like one of these things. Maybe it had a show once that you liked, you signed up for it, and it's just been running your card over and over again. And so, like, you know, make could you have one streaming service? And people are very uncomfortable about that. They're like, no, you know, and it's like it's like, well, when I was growing up, we didn't have a stream, there was none, you know. And so, like, Netflix by itself or Amazon Prime would have been like the coolest thing that I ever seen in my entire life, you know? And so, uh or it's like, well, do you think we could maybe a few times a week make coffee at home? And it's like, oh, I need this Starbucks. It's like, well, if you're not willing to let go of the snake that's biting you, can't really complain that it's biting you, you know. You gotta let go of the tail, right? So anyway, I really appreciate you you you coming in and taking the time just to share a little bit about your story. And I think a lot of every time I do one of these, everyone loves it because I I feel like, you know, when when you're doing a journey like this, it can feel like isolating or, you know, you might have some support at home, but still to the grander world. I was thinking about this this morning. You know, if you if you go to work uh right now and you you bring a little lunch and you got some vegetables and you know, some some some lean meats and you know, some nuts and seeds or fruit or whatever it is, and people notice you eating like that for five days, all of a sudden everyone's like, Are you on a diet? And it's like so when our culture has shifted so much that like if you just eat like nutritious food, doesn't you don't even have to be you could be bulking, but if you're eating those types of foods, it's now like a diet. Or, you know, like it's always these, and so I I've really been cautioning people to be careful not to just follow the pack. Yeah, you know, because when you're when when you look at what everyone else is doing, I think for most of human society, Randy would like this because it's nerdy, but following what other people were doing was actually a very good map. And I think now it's not actually. And so like, you know, it's like okay, well, everyone went to university, you know, in the you know, 70s, 80s, 90s. If you looked and you were in grade nine, it's like, well, I should probably go to university. This is that's a probably a pretty good plan. Um, or you know, everyone's kind of eating this way, that's a pretty good way to eat. Not so much now, you know. You if you try to mimic what the group is doing, you're gonna end up probably not in the best place.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

Yeah, I I I one thing um I did find is that with my journey is a lot often I would be in um situations where I would need to I would bring my food or I would be out or I would ha have to take my food somewhere and some like sometimes it it's uncomfortable because like people think, oh just just it's just one day. It's just one day, just live a little. So it so those type of um looks or comments a lot of times um were hard for me because I always felt like I needed to um just do what everyone else was doing. And so now I just got to the point where I just I do me and you do you and I bring my food and I bring my water and I I it's I have it always always with me. Um and now I just don't I I care uh about everyone, yes, but I d I I don't care what people think about why I'm eating a certain way.

SPEAKER_00 50:10

No, I I love that. I know in the beginning when we worked together it was more of a struggle, right? And you guys have good social lives and stuff, so it's just great, you know. You guys have worked hard to build a good network of people, and I get it, you know. And I a lot of the work we did was like, hey, you know, this says a little bit more about them, maybe, than than it does about you. And even just like when you listen back to the stories, you're like, oh, so that's how you convince yourself to do what you do. And everyone, it's funny, a lot of my clients will always be like, you know, I find uh Dylan, I find you so nice. And I'm like, no, I'm I'm really not that nice. I'm only nice if you can handle truth. So people really like being around me or they hate it.

unknown 50:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 50:47

And so I remember one time, and I was more ignorant, I wouldn't say it like this again, but my ex-mother-in-law was bugging me one time, like at a dinner table, about like, you just eat this, and you know, like it won't kill you, and like patronizing me, you know, as if I don't know what nutrition will do to my body after doing this for a living for 15 years, you know. And so finally I got kind of annoyed of it, and uh I just in a very passive aggressive way, which is a habit I'm working out of to talking to people like this because it's not good, so I need to repent. But it was funny where I said, it's dark humor. I said, Oh, no, no, I actually totally understand that I could have this cake or pie and wake up pretty much the same feeling good. But the thing is, is on aggregated behavior over time, you see what it is is how I'm gonna eat right now equals how I look. How you're perpetuating me to eat and everyone else at this table, and so now I've alienated everyone. I said, that's why you all look the way you look. And I prefer the way I look. So that's why I do this. Does that make sense? And then it just went really quiet. But the thing is, is that all is true, right? And so it's like I wouldn't say it like that again. You know, this was I was a little bit younger in my 20s, a little bit more hot-headed, but I meant every word of that, you know, like in theory, uh, I meant the macro point. I think I could have done without some of the passive aggressiveness, etc., and been a lot more loving and graceful and educational instead of ignorant. But that's the truth, right? So it's like, what do you value? I just value, I know what it's like. Listen, I've eaten every cake and pie, and you know, people will be like, this is the best cookie. I'm like, I've every cookies I had is the best cookie. If I could be, if I could look like this and have just cookies, cakes, and pudding for my food group, I would. They're very good. I'm not doubting that these are very good cookies, but I just like feeling the way I feel now versus uh having that old perspective, right?

unknown 52:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:51

And so anyway, thank you guys so much for coming in and uh appreciate you sharing your story. And you'll get to hear yourself back on a podcast next week. So that'll be weird because you've never done one before.

SPEAKER_01 53:00

No, very weird. I'm sure Randy's gonna spill it out in all his Yeah, that's perfect.

SPEAKER_00 53:09

Now that it now that it's over and we're gonna end this, did you feel more nervous than you thought, less nervous? The same.

SPEAKER_01 53:15

I was I was nervous this morning, but no, it's it was fine.

SPEAKER_00 53:18

Yeah, thank you so much for coming, Stace. It was good to chat to you.

SPEAKER_01 53:23

Yeah, thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

Of course. Thank you for joining in, everyone, and uh we'll see you on the next one.