Stop Making Big Decisions Alone: Build Your Advisory Board

There’s no handbook to owning a home. That’s why Jessica Duncan with Scenic Sotheby's International Realty goes beyond the transaction to share tips to improve the homeowner experience.

Each week, the seasoned Gulf Coast realtor shares sound advice for smarter decisions in the areas of home maintenance, avoiding scams, refinancing, buying, selling, investing, increase your home value, downsizing, estate planning, Florida insurance, money saving hacks & building wealth.

Her area of expertise is the Florida panhandle including Pensacola, Gulf Breeze,Milton, Pace and Navarre. No matter what season of homeownership you’re in, Jessica Duncan Just my opinion is adulting made simple.

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Transcript

Speaker 0:00

If you're making big life decisions on your own, you're probably doing it the harder way and the more expensive way. That's what we're gonna guide you through today, is how to build your personal board of advisors. This is Jessica Duncan's, just my opinion. And I'm Jessica. There's no handbook to owning a home. That's why I go beyond the transaction to share my opinion, tips and insights for adulting made simple. Most people think that a board of advisors are only for CEOs and people running massive companies. But the truth is, most successful people have a board of advisors. Most successful people have a group of people that they rely on to help make hard decisions in their life. They have a small circle of people that they really trust, that think clearly and are gonna guide them through that and challenge them when they need to. So today we're gonna talk about how to build your own board of advisors, what type of advisors you need, and what you should look for in each of those advisors. Whether you're trying to make decisions about your finances, your career, your home, or even your personal life, you're gonna have advisors to help guide you through that. And we're gonna help answer those questions today on how you find those advisors. Because adulting doesn't come with a manual. We're here to make it simple. So first let's talk about what exactly is this board of advisors. It's not a formal process. You don't offer anyone a contract and official titles. There's no scheduled meetings, so don't worry, there's no additional, commitment that's gonna go into it. But a board of advisors are who you're gonna go to to help guide you through decisions. It's simply a group of of people that you have intentionally chosen. To ask certain types of decisions, a certain types of guidance on, right? These are people that you would call before you make, you know, a big financial move before maybe saying yes or no to an opportunity, whether that's a business or investing in a business, or even just a new job opportunity. if you're changing a direction, making a major life decision, you may wanna rely on these. People, or if you're taking on more than you should and really getting overwhelmed, these may be good people for you to come back to and help get you refocused on what's important. Here's the key distinction. These are not just friends. These are people who actually advice will help you, right? We all have that friend that wants you to tell you how to do everything, but they have no experience in what they're trying to tell you about. That's not what we're talking about here. So make sure you understand the difference in that. We're not just talking about calling your best friend and running everything by'em and telling them everything that goes on in your life. That's probably the worst decision. So you wanna think about people who actually know about this. Off, and we're gonna guide you through that a little bit more as we dig in. So why do most people not have these advisors? Or as you're growing up, you may not realize these advisors are very important. A lot of times people just don't wanna bother someone else when it's probably not a bother to'em. They'd rather have a quick phone call with you and help you make a better decision. But there's this false impression that I hate to bother anyone else. They also are embarrassed that they don't know the answer. Nowadays, everyone thinks Google can answer it or chat can answer it, or any other large language model, but not all the answers are found there. Sometimes they're actually wrong there, so people feel like they have to know everything. You don't have to know everything in life. You just gotta know where to go to get the best advice. Some people only wanna ask when they're in like a super stressful situation. They didn't ask in the beginning, but they waited until everything's about to fall apart, and then they're reaching out for help, which glad you're finally reaching out for help if you're in that situation. But if you could start further up in the process, that would help you get further along and be able to prevent some of those bad decisions. Some people really wanna just rely on people who agree with them all the time. You wanna make sure your board of advisors is someone who's gonna actually challenge you. Hate to say it, but almost someone that's gonna be that devil's advocate. Not in a bad way, but just gonna bring up, have you thought of it from this angle or have you thought about this outcome to really help you reframe these large decisions? Support is not a weakness. Remember that it's a strategy and all your major CEOs and successful people in life have a team of support people underneath them to help them make these decisions. The smart people I know ask for input early, not as a last resort. So what are the key seats that you want on your board? It doesn't have to be a large board. And remember, this is nothing official. You're not having to have people sign a contract or make some big commitment, but you don't. You don't need 20 people. You really need about three to five people. That's ideal. And each seat is for a different criteria, different purpose. You definitely need the financial truth teller. So who is a financial truth teller? This is gonna be someone who has made good financial decisions. If they have not made good financial decisions in their own life, probably don't wanna ask them about financial decisions, but they're gonna be someone who has probably had some tough decisions, has been given some opportunities and made. Some decisions that probably have been successful, they've probably had some that weren't successful, that they learned a lot from as well. They need to understand the real cost of decisions, and they need to be able to think long term, not just short term of what's gonna happen the next six months or a year, but let's think five, 10 years down the road, and they're gonna help you avoid expensive mistakes. Now when you're talking about this financial truth teller, some people could think that I'm talking about a financial advisor. I think that could be someone who needs to be in your, your group of people. But that's not really what we're talking about here. For this part, we're really talking about, people who are not professionals in their skillset, right, in their trade. not a financial advisor. We're talking about someone that you can go to, not about what stock to buy, but is now a right time for me, me to. Increase the home size that I need for my family, whereas right now, a time that I really should go buy that new car. A little bit more of advice on life versus investing, right? This is really someone who's always gonna give you their best financial advice. Whether you like that opinion or not, they're not gonna sugarcoat it. They're not gonna always agree with you. They are gonna remind you, Hey, you know, that really could put your family in a bind. If you take that extra$500 a month on, are you sure you're ready for that? They want them to challenge you so that you think that decision through a little bit more. Your next person you're gonna need is your career or business strategist. So that really helps you make decisions about business and your career. And I would say this needs to be someone who you look up and inspire to be in a role like they have. Whether it is someone who is in in the past, had your role that you strive to or is currently in the role that you strive to, they've done it. They know how to get there. I know throughout my life, I've had so many different people that I looked up to for this, and one that I will never forget was Mr. B Perry Biggs. He was an absolute mentor in my life, both career and as a business strategist. I never made a business move while he was alive without calling him, and he never. Led me wrong. He had such valuable expertise in the business world and would shoot me straight, and that's what you need is someone who's gonna shoot you straight. They'll tell you the hard truth. They'll also understand the environment you're in, and that it may be in your best interest to take that leap of faith. They can really zoom out and be that big, big thinker for you to help see the things that you're mi missing and they can help you navigate that growth without having burnout. When you're stuck in the weeds, this is the person who's really gonna get you to get your head above those weeds and see what the future is, and if they're in your same career field, that's definitely gonna be helpful. The next advisor you need is that reality checker. It's gonna be that again, straight shooter that's gonna punch you in the gut with the truth. This is probably gonna be more of like a friend, but not that friend that just pacifies you and agrees with everything you say. This is gonna be that honest, grounded, clearheaded friend. That one that not only plays devil's advocate, but calls you on your BS when you need to be called on it. They're gonna remind you, Hey. You didn't think about it from their angle. Well, how do you think they felt when you said that they're gonna be someone who really takes a seat beside you to protect you from those blind spots? And this is probably a little bit more of a a friend type of role, right? But they're the ones that just give you a little bit of reality check. Like, girl, you need to get over yourself. You're taking it way too serious. Right? And some of us all have friends like that. I'm probably that type of friend. I know not everyone wants at. At certain times in your life, you don't want that friend, right? Sometimes you just wanna wanna cry about it and be upset about it. This is not when you wanna call the reality checker because they're probably gonna put you in your place and say, get over it. Pull your big girl pants up and let's move on. Right? So the reality checker is probably more of a friend, and this is not gonna be your. Job decisions or your financial decisions. This is gonna be a little bit more of, am I wrong in this? Should I apologize for this? Those type of decisions. The next one's gonna be your value anchor. All right, value anchor. What do I mean by that? This needs to be someone who understands your values, whether it's your religious values, whether it's just things that are really important to you. They may have known you for a long time, but they're also gonna need to be someone who has great integrity and great values that align with you. Sometimes this could be someone in your church, a leader in your church. It could be a parent, it could be an older brother or sister, or just a mentor that's been in your life that you really trust, their values and integrity, and they're always gonna pull you back to your goals and remind you of what matters most. And when success costs too much. When something feels off, these are the people that you wanna reach out to be pulled back into. What are my values and what should I be focusing on? They help you avoid winning on paper, but losing in real life. These are people that are gonna remind you of those values. So those are your value anchors. So that's four different advisors we've covered so far. So you need your financial truth teller. That's the one that's gonna give you the good financial advice you need. Your career or business strategist that's somewhere in your line of work or field knows a lot about it. You need your reality checker. That's that friend that's always gonna set you straight. And then you need your values. Anchor someone who's gonna always pull you back to those values and what's important in your life. So those are the non-professional advisors you really need on your panel, and you wanna start to pick them out and just know when the situation arises. This is who I'm gonna call. Now you have a couple of others that you probably want to think about. One is your seasonal experts or seasonal advisors. So what do I mean by seasons? I'm not talking about, you know, winter, summer, I'm talking about seasons of life. So maybe you are a new parent and you wanna lean on someone who's also been a new parent. Maybe you're a new grandparent and you're really trying to figure out, how do I navigate this part of life? Be there for my children and support them, but also not be overbearing or whatever the case is. You wanna go to someone who's already been through that and that may be a seasonal advisor that you're really relying on since they've been through it and they have a great relationship with their kids and grandkids. Maybe you see them as someone to reach out to and and ask those. So that's like a seasonal type of thing. Maybe it's health. Sometimes people are going through a challenging health. Health diagnosis, whether it's cancer or just a learning about maybe having to eat a certain way. I know when we first found out, my husband had to start eating gluten-free. It was a long time ago, and that was not easy. Back then, there wasn't as many resources. Now restaurants did not have gluten-free options, and I actually met a friend who had been gluten-free for years and really helped advise me on how to. Cook for my husband, how to be able to go out and what little tricks of things that actually tasted good.'cause back then there was not a lot of really good gluten-free stuff and she helped advise us on that. And that was a seasonal advisor I needed to learn through that process. So you could have seasonal advisors, don't be afraid of that. And then I also think you need some professional advisors. So what type of advisors are you gonna look for for your personal board of advisors, for professionals? You probably need a good real estate advisor. Have to say, call me if you need one. probably gonna need a good investment advisor too. We talked about earlier that a financial advisor, truth teller, was not your financial advisor, but you do need a good financial advisor. Make sure you're preparing for your retirement, things like that. You probably need a good legal advisor. Now this could be seasonal too. If you find yourself in a situation, you need a legal, legal advice. But. You need legal advice whether you're in a bad situation or not. You need a, a legal advisor to help you plan your will, help you plan your trust or estate. We did an episode on that, so if you haven't done that, make sure you check out that episode. But so you are gonna need some professional advisors, as well throughout your life. I think as your life evolves, so does your board. Your board may look very different when you're in your forties and fifties than it does when you're in your twenties and thirties. You're going through different seasons of life and you may need to rely on different people to advise you. So how do you build this board without making it weird? If you just called someone said, Hey, I want you to be, my board of advisors, they may go, huh, what? Because a lot of people don't even realize how much we use advisors or need to use advisors for this. So you don't need to ask anyone to be on your board. You don't need to ask anyone to fill out a contract or make a commitment to you. All you have to do is simply start asking better questions. When you start thinking about who, who do I need to lean on for this? Who would know most about this and could advise me the best on it? And then when you start to ask those questions, you wanna make sure you're asking good questions, you listen to their answers, maybe ask a little deeper questions to make sure you understand where they're going. I have a rule. Once you ask one question, you always wanna go too deeper. And what I mean by that is you ask a question and you get a surface level answer. Then you ask another question to go a little bit deeper, and then based on that answer, you ask another question. And by that third question, you're really gonna get to the core of what they're trying to tell you and make sure you understand what they mean. So what does this advisory board look like when you're talking to someone, you're asking these questions, what does it look like? It's a coffee conversation. It's, Hey, you got time to. Grab a cup of coffee or go grab a cocktail. I wanna run something by you. Maybe it's a text. Hey, you got a minute. I need to tell you about a situation and see what you think. You always wanna ask these questions before you've made your final decision and then respect their time. You know, be prepared when you ask the question. Don't make it take, you know, two hours to really get in. Try to come up with a quick synopsis of what's going on and get down to what you need. I came up with a little simple script to help you with this. It's. I respect your time and how you think about this particular subject. Would you mind giving your perspective before I make a decision on X? So you're just asking their advice. You're telling them why you're coming to'em, why you trust their decision, and asking'em if you can run something by'em. That's it. It's very simple. Most people wanna take the time to share their knowledge and help someone else. There's no labels, there's no pressure. It's just intentional conversations with the right people. So how do you use your board? Well, there are a couple things here. You don't wanna ask the same question to everyone, and the reason why is'cause everyone's probably not the expert in the category. You're asking the question. So you've already identified who your financial person is. You wanna ask them the financial decision, not probably that. You know person who's gonna shoot it to you straight and just tell you your values and things like that. You wanna ask the person who's going to know that category. So don't ask everyone the question.'cause then you're just gonna get more confused than ever.'cause you're gonna get a bunch of different answers. Be clear about what type of feedback you want. But when I say that, also be open to the true feedback. One of the things I. I like to make sure people understand is feedback is a gift. Whether you agree with what they have to say or not, it's a gift. If someone takes the time to tell you feedback, you should always say thank you, even if you disagree. It was a whole lot easier for them just to walk away and walk outta your life, but they stopped to give you that feedback, and so I'm a big believer in that. I like to remind everyone. It's always a gift, so say thank you, whether you agree with it or not. Now, I would recommend. If they cared enough to say it, maybe you need to think about it just to see if there is any truth to it. Also, listen more than you talk. Give'em a short synopsis of what's going on. Ask the question and then be quiet and listen and as they tell you what their decision is or what they think you should do, then ask more questions to get even more deeper. So listen more than you talk. I would also recommend following through. No one wants to give someone advice to never know what happened, right? When someone gives you that advice and you make the decision, then call'em back and say, Hey, I just wanna say thank you so much for your time. Here's the decision I made and here's how it turned out. They'd love to hear that and thank them for their time once again. People love to give advice when they know it matters. What they don't like is when they tell you their advice and you always do the exact opposite. If you are always doing the exact opposite of your advisor, it's probably time to pick a different advisor'cause there's something not in line. So remember, you don't need all the answers in life. You just need the right people around you when it matters most. To ask those right questions and help you make better decisions, start with one seat, one conversation, one trusted voice. Your future will. Thank you for not trying to do everything on your own. So I want you to really think about, with wrapping this up today, I want you to think about who are, who's already on my board? Who am I already doing this with? And I didn't even realize are those the right people for those positions? And where am I missing people and who do I need on my advisor to Tory board when you have a hard decision? Next, remember, reach out to one person and start the conversation. That's how it all begins to build your personal board of advisors. If you like this episode, please share it with a friend that helps us know the type of content you like so we can create more. Also, make sure you favorite follow whatever podcast or YouTube or wherever you're listening to this. We don't want you to ever miss an episode. And if you have a question or a topic for a show that you would like us to cover, please reach out. DM me, call me, text me. I'd love to hear it, and we may just ask you to be on the show. Remember, this has just been another episode of just my opinion for adulting made Simple.