#113 NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

🚨 INVISIBLE EYELIDS, HARRY BOT-TER & THE DUMBEST QUESTIONS YOU’LL TAKE SERIOUSLY 🚨

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we celebrate our guest Joe’s birthday the only way we know how… by immediately asking questions that no sane person has ever needed answered.

We kick things off with classic chaos:
Would you rather have grass for hair or butterfly wings for ears?
If you were invisible… could you see through your eyelids?
And if flying only worked at 4 mph, are you still taking it?

From there, things get aggressively stupid in the best way.

We debate whether Spider-Man is actually sticky or if it’s just the suit doing all the work, question if dogs lick us because they know we’re just walking skeletons, and try to figure out what nationality a baby has if it’s born mid-flight over the ocean.

Naturally, this leads into important discussions like:
What are people from Belize called?
What was Captain Morgan’s first mate’s name?
And why Apple Notes has become the collective brain for three grown adults who can’t remember anything.

Things escalate when David reads a completely unhinged Harry Potter chapter written by a bot, and a fake political debate generated after feeding a bot hundreds of hours of real ones. Both are somehow more coherent than expected.

From there it’s pure chaos:
• Guess the Movie from Shrimp (yes, really)
• A brutal Easter candy debate involving Starburst jelly beans
• Morbid but hilarious reflections on people from high school
• Chris getting personally offended that someone owns Red Dead Redemption 2 and hasn’t played it

We wrap it up with Try Not To Laugh, Pour Choices, and AskReddit questions about who will still be famous in 200 years and what the male equivalent of having no skills and turning to soliciting is.

It’s absurd hypotheticals, pop culture debates, and three guys confidently answering questions that should’ve been ignored.

If you like comedy podcasts with ridiculous energy, dumb games, weird science questions, and conversations that make you question everything… you’re in the right place.

👇 WATCH NOW BEFORE YOU START QUESTIONING YOUR OWN EYELIDS 👇

Chapters 

00:00 – INTRO
3:12 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOE!
5:00 – GRASS HAIR OR BUTTERFLY WING EARS?
6:58 – CAPTAIN MORGAN’S FIRST MATE DEBATE
7:43 – INVISIBLE EYELIDS QUESTION
9:41 – FLYING AT 4 MPH (WORTH IT?)
10:50 – IS SPIDER-MAN STICKY, OR IS HIS SUIT STICKY?
12:36 – WHY DO DOGS LICK US?
13:40 – BORN IN TRANSIT
17:45 – DON’T STOP BELIZEAN
19:03 – BLITZ SPORTS MEDIA
21:29 – APPLE NOTES
25:51 – HERMIONE HAS FORGOTTEN HOW TO DANCE
37:05 – TRUMP VS BIDEN – BOT SHOWDOWN
38:38 – GUESS THE MOVIE FROM THE SHRIMP
45:45 – EASTER CANDY HOT TAKE
47:28 – SOMETHING REALLY BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN
51:51 – THE PLAYSTATION PAPERWEIGHT
55:04 – DREAMING OF A FANTA-SEA
56:32 – TRY NOT TO LAUGH
59:50 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES­­
1:01:15 – ASK REDDIT – WHICH PERSON ALIVE RIGHT NOW WILL STILL BE FAMOUS IN 200 YEARS?
1:09:19 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS THE MALE EQUIVALENT OF TURNING TO PROSTITUTION?
1:14:57 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:18:14 – OUTRO 

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Transcript

0:00

I always know we're live when I can't see Chris anymore. Yep. I got that dial up. I'm guessing you didn't call Spectrum. Yeah. trying to sleep. He's always like, I got this new shirt. It's a, I'm like, yeah, describe it for me. Because I can't see any of it. I did, I did notice those at before you disappeared. like that. I think I could've... Had to do it. Opening week and all. Yeah, man. Got a big win today. So that was good. Yeah. I didn't get to watch obviously, but I needed it. What'd say, David? I said, I'd heard, I said, well, I heard they, when they were winning, I guess in the first. Yeah. They went up like four nothing earlier. So. Oh, I saw the fish and T minus 22 minutes. I'm going to poke my head outside. So there might be a brief pause. Look at the Artemis dude going up with the people on it. Was that a rocket taking off today? It's yeah, the first manned rocket that's going out of lower orbit to the moon since the seventies, something like that. Oh, it's going to the moon. So we're sending people to the moon. Well, they're going to orbit the moon and test out the equipment before they actually try to put people. So are they actually going this time or no? Yeah, this one's launching. Okay. Yeah. So we're testing to see if we could do it, but we did it like 70 years ago, right? No, but. This is just a test because we haven't done it in so long. didn't you do it? sure. Funny story. Yeah. Technology has like increased tenfold since then, but we just got to make sure we can do it still. Yeah. Just to be sure. Yeah. Just to be sure. Because we definitely did it. Definitely did it. And it wasn't in a movie set. Studio. Yeah. So if this thing just takes off into orbit and like disappears, then what are they going to say? Oh, like it just like they lose communication and doesn't come back. Yeah. There's, know, but we already did this 70 years ago. guess they're going say the gravitational pull of the moon has changed dramatically. they're gonna say, uh, Melbourne, we have a problem. Yeah. Welcome back to episode 113 of the Poor Choices Show. And today we've brought in a special guest because nothing says good idea like adding a third opinion already. Get up. Welcome back to episode 113 of the Poor Choices Show. And today we've brought in a special guest because nothing says good idea like adding a third opinion to already bad judgment. Tonight's episode is basically like an NFL draft, but the Scouts are drunk. picks make no sense and someone is definitely taking a kicker in the first round. So grab a drink, lower your expectations. And let's make some poor choices. And set your standards low Welcome to the poor choices show Yeah, yeah, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Let's go Subscribe Peachy. So right off the bat, I do got to say Joe's Joe shirt is definitely not a Joe shirt, but he is in Florida. So is it like a when in Rome shirt? Yeah, this is my, uh, I don't know. Definitely in Florida shirt, but also like if I'm back home and we're going like day drinking and outdoor bars or something, can see the water. Yeah. All right. It's a, it's a special occasion shirt for sure. Okay. Okay. It's a big, yeah, I like it. Yeah, it's always a hit. Is this why you said just peachy? Well, Joe, since you didn't listen to uh last week's episode, I guess you didn't hear us shout you out for your birthday. ah I did not, but I will certainly be listening on the ride home. I think I, uh, pretty sure I edited out your name. it's like just, and I'm sure you could probably guess what Chris said. The first thing that came to mind was, uh No idea. Now remember I have like point two seconds to come up with something Okay, well, again, Joe's birthday is tomorrow, so we're going to sing to him. Wow, my god Y'all are nerds nerds birthday donut birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Joseph. Happy birthday to you. I didn't have time to go to the store to get a cake, so I had to use the last donut that we had. is why she was hell bent on going to get donuts this morning. Well, it's got a little wax on it, but that's okay. Jaycee, do you want to ask your question before we... come on. Come here. We have a question for, I guess you. No, it's just listen from her here and our stuff had her question. So would you rather have grass as your hair or butterfly wings as your ears? What? You first, Chris. Definitely butterfly wings as my ears. Really? Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. Why? It'd be so cool. Cause it would be cool. Like the grass hair is just like hair, it's just green. Yeah, but grass hair you can cut. I can cut my hair now. You butterfly ears. Cause it's way cooler. Way cooler. I'm going I'm going grass just let it die and it turns brown and it's like your hair you can just shave your head and you don't have to deal with it. and whenever you're sweaty David, I can just fan you with my ears You heard what he said, Whenever I'm sweaty, he can just fan me with his ears? Little butterfly. I got to get real close. So she asked that she asked questions like that all the time. we were just like from like, no, I don't know. I don't know why this is the first time it occurred to me, but we were like eating dinner or something. And she asked that. And of course I answered it. And I was like, you know what you need to ask David that when we go down to Florida, because it's perfect. That's just one of the random things that her brain comes up with. Cause she's got that kind of brain, but Uh, I was like, you definitely need to ask David that. And I didn't know she was going to come on the show and ask it, but yeah, question. Grassy or grass hair. Grass hair. Hmm. I'll be the minority. That's the way less fun response. We all just took a drink at the exact same time. That was funny. Are you saying we're alcoholics? Yeah. You never told Joe though, what, my response was when you said his name. I said Steelers. Hmm. I don't know. equal longevity, probably. Cool longevity. Captain Morgan, Captain and Coke. Okay. like that. Little captain in me. Not as much as back in the day, but still dabble. of like a first mate now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Did his first mate have a name? I mean, I'm sure he did, but did we know it? yeah, Joe, Captain Joe, co-captain. mate Joe. First mate Joe, yeah. Okay, you want some other questions? If you're invisible and you close your eyes, can you see through your eyelids? No, I'm going to say no because, that's a tricky one. I can see every other part of my body. Yeah. I don't know. That's different. That's difficult. I'd say technically. Yes, you can by definition. Okay, okay. I'm thinking yes. I don't like it, but I'm thinking yes. That would make sleeping so... I mean, you couldn't, right? mean, until you just like got exhausted. Yeah. Cause I say in order to sleep, have to pretend you're asleep, is not being able to sleep. You just put like a sleep mask on. Is sleeping, and this is different, totally different than being invisible, but when you're asleep, is it black because your eyelids are closed or is it black because your brain is asleep? I think it's black because your dream is brought to you by HBO. Or is it black because you're watching BET? Ooh, black eye treatment. Yeah. Uh, yeah, I don't know. When you're, when you're invisible to sleep, I feel like you would still see nothing because your brain is just asleep unless you're dreaming. Right. Right. Yeah. A sleep. Yeah. But just like when your eyes are closed, close your eyes and still be able to say, yeah, that sounds, it sounds like one of those things you would never think about when you like, like, Hey, I want my superpower to be invisible. And then you get it and you're like, damn, this kind of sucks. Someone's like, so check this out. you're like, Ooh. Damn. Yeah. Or like flying. Like you'd have to fly South for the winter. That wouldn't be that bad. Yeah. So what if someone is flying your superpower? No? Okay. Pretend it was. What if it was like, okay, so if it was between flying and invisibility, what would you say? probably visibility. Okay. it was between the two flying, but it's not like my one. Okay. Now what if it was only like, could, you can only fly like four miles an hour. That changed stuff. It depends on your reasoning. Like, do you want to be able to fly so you can get places faster or... You can't get there that fast at four miles an hour. not at four miles an hour. Like it would take you forever. Like get anywhere out of the United States. At that point at four miles an hour, it'd just be a cool like party trick, bar trick when you're, you know, Hey, check this out. And they're just like, there he slowly goes. Right. It looks like it's just floating away. That's exactly what it'd be like. It's just the balloon that got off the stream. Yeah. Alright. How does Spider-Man stick to walls when he's wearing gloves and boots? He himself is sticky, not his clothes. depends which version of Spiderman. answer. Sometimes it was him that was sticky and it would go through a suit. Other times he like made gloves and boots that would stick. think he could stick and didn't it show it like coming through his suit, like the little black. Now I don't know if it showed his feet, but I think it showed his hands. Little black barbs coming through and like that's how he did it. But there's just so many different versions. like Marvel, Spider-Man, like, you know, the latest ones, all his was like stuff Tony Stark made for him. Yeah. Which you would think Tony would put that technology in there to. Yeah. So it was like a Spider-Man suit made by Stark Industries. Like obviously he had abilities, but a lot of. Is in comics or is that just Hollywood ad-app? ah I don't know. I've never read it in comics. It would be funny to see Spider-Man though with just his fingertips cut out of his suit. it's just like the comics, you know, it was like supposed to be more comical, like less realistic. So probably it was just like, you know, not thought about them. Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. I don't like when these questions are answered with logic. makes sense. Yeah. What do you, what do you, mean, some of them are not all of them, but most of them. me give you one that I don't think... I feel like you gotta be really smart to know. Well then ask somebody else. Yeah, that's not me. I have one more I'm hoping for a dumb answer and then like last week I have one that I'm genuinely curious. So the first one, do dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside? No, I I thought they looked this because they took a compassionate. Yeah. Compassionate or they like us like I've always heard because they like the salt from our skin. Yeah, I've heard that too. I feel like you're... They definitely lick your face as like compassionate thing. That that's like getting kisses like like when Cooper was alive and I'm sitting on the couch and he's just like on the bottom of my foot for like 20 minutes That's compassion and I think by like a minute to he probably got all the salt. Yeah, so I wonder if he's like, ah, I'm a Angie's feel like if they knew there was bones, they would be biting. Like, I'm gonna grab a spoon and take it with me. Okay. Fucking logic again, man. Well, I didn't drink too much. I didn't drink enough before we went on. Yeah. that's true. So Chris, you're saying no, it's just affection? Yeah, just affection like Belle loves her like random knee lick when you're walking next to her should be like BAM knee lick. Yeah just a little drive by. Gotcha. Yeah. All right. And then the one I'm the one I'm genuinely concerned about. If a baby is born on an international flight, what nationality is it? wherever the parents are, their nationality is. And then whenever they get back to their home country, zing, bam, boom, pow, snap. would think that it would be, obviously if a baby is born on a flight, they're probably going to land, right? And then it's gotta be admitted to a hospital and that's where like the birth certificate is created. So I would think it'd be wherever like this baby is like, officially, you know, registered or I don't know what you call it, I feel like there would always be like an asterisk then. Yeah. I mean, there'd probably be some like citizenship questions there, but. mean, there's a lot of that with like the armed forces. Like my parents were stationed in Germany and they had me there, but I'm American, you know. But you're actually born there though. You were born on US land. Not that. What if you went to a German hospital? Why would you? Maybe we're all eating Wiener Schnitzel and Pop goes the weasel and then... Nah, you'd had to go to base because your insurance wouldn't, you'd be paying 80 grand for that kid. know these things. don't know, but I feel like if you were born an international heir, then you belong to, you belong nowhere until you belong somewhere. Does that make sense? Like you're just a limbo. Like you're a limbo until like you're claimed basically. But I don't know. I mean, I'm sure there's a real answer. There's gotta be. Some of them, when he would say like, whatever country you're over at the time. And then I was going to say, well, what if you're like over the Pacific? Right. Well, that's what I thought by international waters or international airspace is like just in the, in the void. So what if, what if it's over the Pacific, the plane crashes in the Pacific, but the baby survives, whatever. Yeah. Is it whatever port it gets? Is it the same wherever it's registered at the end? Google says it's either the citizenship of where their parents are or the country where the aircraft is registered. That would make more sense. So you took off from Australia registered or where it took off from where it's registered because it could be like zil. Yeah. The airlines go into the U S but had a layover in Canada and it picked up a Canadian. flew from England to the United States, but I'm Brazilian. But most commonly the child takes citizenship of the parents, most commonly. If it's over international waters, the baby's often deemed to have been born in the country where the airline is registered. So weird. I would have, gotta, we gotta get one of those people. like this plane. You are a 747er. There's also territorial airspace. If born while flying over a country that recognizes just solely such as the U.S., the child may be entitled to that nation's citizenship. Is that just solely like two words, common spelling for each? solely. J U S space S O L I just. That's stuff you get on your sandwiches at the restaurant. All juice. This must happen like frequently for there to be that much information on it out there. Listen, the birth certificate will often list the location as in the air or in transit. Just like coordinates. Okay. There you go. That's all, I'll save my other ones for later times. Yes. That's that. And no more done. Do we eat your doughnut? Damn, he three donuts this morning, man. Okay. Nope. What you got? You want to move into something? You got something? I don't know what you, what you brought. I didn't bring. go to like Belize. Uh, are we going to be born there or we going to be born in route there? I want to be like Ugandan or something weird. If you're from Belize, what are you called? Belizian? Yeah, don't stop bleezing. oh That's funny. That's good stuff. I gotta find out. Yeah, Balesian. I never know if he's like looking something up or if he froze. You said it is Belizean? Ripley's Belizean or not. Yeah, like that. It's really good. Title of this episode. Let me write that down. Don't stop Belize. Belize, can you you got to spell that for me? B-E-L-I-Z-E-A-N. IZEAN Donners buddy. No Blitzen. Yeah. Let's on with it. Yeah. Blitzen sports media. That's it. we're talking about that, you have any football fan listeners, they follow me, tune into our live stream draft show. First round of the 2026 NFL draft. Say all that again, but into the mic, you weren't very loud. If you have any football fan listeners, make sure they're checking out, let sports media's NFL draft live stream on the first night of the draft and follow me on X JL sports 24. guys had a, um, I scrolling through YouTube shorts and it was, you guys had posted something about first ejection off the ABS challenge. First. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't see it. I was watching it, not realizing it was posted by. Blitz sports. And then I saw that and I saw how much it got viewed. was like, good for them. oh Yeah. Yeah. They're, we're pushing like a lot of videos and reels and that kind of stuff. I'd jump in and out of it. Most of my stuff is like written content, especially right now I'm like all in on the draft, but we're making a big push for baseball this year, which is something we haven't done in the past. And they're hitting it pretty heavy. Like there's baseball articles coming out every day. So Definitely check that out and I'll start throwing some out there too. Uh, at least for the Orioles sporadically. taking over the Orioles front like you did the Steel. No, not that deep. I'll just do it like while NFL's in a slow, slow period. Uh, but it's so much harder to follow baseball that close because there's so many games and so much going on, but I'll always be like very much NFL and Steelers and I won't touch any of that until the draft is over. you realize or know that Baltimore, uh, Candom Yards upgraded their screen in center field? Yeah. watched opening day and I was like, It's really, yeah, that was like a, they, they put a bunch of money into the stadium this year. That being the most of it was the screen because the screen was way outdated. it needed it big time. How was that stadium? 92 or 91. Yeah. But the upkeep, do such a good job keeping up on it that it's still one of the best ballparks. Yeah. I think this year was like voted number one. Is it better than Frank's? Franks ballpark. Yeah, definitely. Ballpark fries. ah Okay, okay. Chris, have you ever seen, I think I might've read you the one about dudes like, yeah, I had a bot watch a thousand hours of something. ah That particular one was like, had a bot watch a thousand hours of Olive Garden commercials and then had it write an Olive Garden commercial. We definitely did it because I remember making the font to one of the thumbnails, Olive Garden. Yeah, Chris remembers. Yeah. Tell you what dude. Dude, my brain's mush too, man. I get it. Yeah, but we got kids. It's like, like I walk in a room and forget why I'm there. Then like, like I'll be like, uh, I don't know if I told you this before and I'll tell him and he was like, yeah, we did that. And like, I'll go look into it. And it's like episode 17, but like something I said last I know you do that all the time. We're like, yeah, that was, we talked about that. Yeah. And a lot of it is because I know like I incorporated in to the thumbnail. So I'm like, yeah, I remember doing. uh I'm the same way. Like I, like in my meetings at work, like I hear everything and I write it down. Like I write down the things that I need to know. lost Chris, but I write, I write stuff down for me. Yeah. Like, and I don't ever read it again, but me writing it down is how I remember it. Does that make sense? I'll physically write down stuff that I know I need to check back on. put in my notes on my phone. was like every day when I get to work, I'll like look through my notes. Yeah. It's why I leave work, my brain, I turn it off completely and there's no crossover. Yeah, I've been like, anytime I got to try to remember something for this, I'll put it my notes. I'll text it to myself because I can use like my text on here. So it's like, if we're recording, I'm like, there was something I wanted to say and I could just pull up my text. But yeah, dude, I'm like, If I showed you my notes section, you would be like, it's crazy. There's all kinds of stuff in there. If I showed you mine, you'd be like the same, but I think it's because I have a note that you still have like 4,000 points from me. Yeah. I remember you saying that like. Chris, you know what I think would make a good segment? If you call Spectrum now while we're doing this. That would be pretty funny. yeah, I have like a, my, notes are crazy. My notes are my brain. Literally they're my brain, especially for all my writing. So I'll have like NFL writing. I'll have Steelers writing and then like subcategories of each of them. have grocery lists. I've got everything to do lists notes, like on TV shows to watch bands of listen to like all books to read. Yeah, I do all that too. um And then I have, it's horrible. Don't ever do this. But if someone gets a hold of my phone and gets in it, my whole life is gone because all my logins and passwords are in a note. Formal practice, don't do that. Download a password locker. Yeah. I think that the way to go for that is good old fashioned pen and paper. Yeah. Well, just have to stick it somewhere where you're not going to lose it, but put in your notes where it's at. That's true. Just make, make multiple copies. Your sock drawer, uh, under my keyboard. Yeah, I'll have to do that. So, Chris, I will run next week's episode entirely, uh, all content. If you just please call spectrum. I'll know. I'll. Okay. I'm assuming spectrum is your internet provider. Yeah. Yeah. It's the big one down here. You can still get others, but yeah. Yeah. the bot thing. ah So I guess you don't remember that. I mean, we'll talk about this episode tomorrow and I'm going to go, yeah, we did talk about that. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll text Chris the next day and be like, any ideas for episode titles? And he's like, I don't know. talked. am I talking about? ah So I saw this post of some guy had a lady named Brenda tent passed away and someone for whatever reason had a bot write the obituary. So I was going to read that for you. Hopefully I can make it all the way. So real quick, is a bot different than AI? Yeah, I don't know what really a bot is because that Olive Garden thing. 2015. Yeah. I think the first time I saw that. Maybe it's an outdated AI, it's like specific to a certain need. know some of them I saw said, uh, like they had them write with predictive texts. like they'd start typing and then just whatever it thought should be next. would do. I don't know if that's how all of them were done. And I don't know what a bot. is really is so, but they're dumber than AI. know. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't AI, but was like Algar- I don't know. Yeah. show. that's smart guy. Sorry. I was like, AI, algorithm, smarter child. So I'm going to read you the subituary ah and hopefully maintain composure. Brenda Tent retired from living at the age of old, surrounded by family and natural causes. A librarian from birth, Brenda was an avid collector of dust. She had a sweetheart and married her high school. She loved having hobbies and helping her sons to be disadvantaged youths. Shit. She had no horses but thought she did. The church gave her a choir because she sang like a bird and looked like a bird and Brenda was a bird. No, or she's a bird. I wonder if kids are disadvantaged. Yeah She owed us so many poems. The funeral will be held in 1977 at heaven. In lieu of flowers, send Brenda more life. oh So I grabbed a couple of others, but I was telling Joe earlier while I was looking for some, found someone had a bot write like a chapter to Harry Potter. And it's not really a chapter. It was like four pages. So, so I don't have to do the talking. I, I did one of those like a text to speech things and I was going to send it to you so we could listen to it because it's quite humorous. Okay. And I think I can. Text MP3 files. We got T minus one minute, gentlemen. You can definitely like play audio files on Riverside, can't you? You definitely can. Yeah, I guess I could have uploaded it and played it Last time I tried to like screen share and have him listen to the audio. Chris, don't listen to it yet. If you got to step out in one minute, cause it's... No, stop, stop, stop. Go look at your Artemis thing. 50 seconds. a big sum. I'll tell you that. Bye! I wonder if I would it things up if I took my phone out to share enough. That's why I didn't grab mine and turn it around when they were in here singing happy birthday, because it could be done, but things. About to shake my ivory picture off my wall. It's a big dude. We got ignition. oh Remix? I thought you were stepping out. Well, I mean, I'm watching it launch on TV. I won't be able to see it till it's... Alright, there she goes. Damn! April Fools! We turned off the hydrogen. Boom! I think they should have done April Fools and it didn't launch. Let me go, let me go see if it's visible. Belize? Belizean? 29 minutes ago, my aunt texted me, so there's supposed to be a rocket taking off from Cape Canaveral in about 20 minutes. You might be able to see it. I'll tell her Chris, saw it. There's like launches every week. I'm assuming she's talking about the same one. Yeah, because that's where he's at. I don't know if you can see it from here. I got Journey stuck in my head. Don't stop bleazin'. Yeah... It might have been like a song. How funny would that be if someone else just came in and sat down? Yeah. see nothing. Yeah. The TV's delayed. So I went out there and all I see is a giant smoke in the sky and the things just go on. Uh, you should have spectrum tomorrow. We've come full circle however you want a streaming service, I'm just on YouTube. Oh, yeah Yeah, but even still it should like if it launched and you went out, you should have seen it. Yeah. I'm blaming your internet. Giant plume and now my place is going. When I lived in Annapolis, uh we would like, we were so close to the Navy football stadium that we would like have the game on TV, but here before it happened. So we would hear cheers and whistles and all that. That would happen on TV. Was that the, the house with Robin cam and all them? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, what did we say that, before we play this Harry Potter thing, what did we say that this golden egg was going to play when we open? No, I'm asking the wrong person. It was a great idea whatever it was yeah, what it was should be that band from the old ball I don't know what they're called, but like they have a weird name. Oh, don't look it up. We're going to remember it. It's the somethings. trying to remember what I said you should play. Yeah. It's around, look at crazy elf. I can see it. They're like launching flip wick up around. Yeah. Alright, we're gonna listen to this Harry Potter thing along with you. I haven't even read the whole thing. Yeah, hit play. The castle grounds snarled with a wave of magically magnified wind. The sky outside was a great black ceiling which was full of blood. The only sounds drifting from Hagrid's hut were the disdainful shrieks of his own furniture. Magic. It was something that Harry Potter thought was very good. Leathery sheets of rain lashed at Harry's ghost as he walked across the grounds toward the castle. Ron was standing there and doing a kind of frenzied tap dance. saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione's family. Ron's Ron shook. don't. Is this Trump's I'm going to get aggressive, confessed the reasonable Hermione. What about Ron Magic? Offered Ron. To Harry, Ron was a loud, slow and soft bird. Harry did not like to think about birds. Death eaters are on top of the castle! Ron bleated, quivering. Ron was going to be spiders. He just was. He wasn't proud of that, but it was going to be hard to not have spiders all over his body after all is said and done. Look, said Hermione. Obviously there are loads of Death Eaters in the castle. Let's listen in on their meetings. The three complete friends zapped onto the landing outside the door to the castle roof. They almost legged it, but witches are not climbing. Ron looked at the doorknob and then looked at Hermione with searing pain. I think it's closed, he noticed. Locked. said Mr. Staircase, the shabby-robed ghost. They looked at the door, screaming about how closed it was and asking it to be replaced with a... The password was beefwomen, Hermione cried. Harry, Ron and Hermione quietly stood behind a circle of Death Eaters who looked bad. I think I's okay if you like me, said one Death Eater. Thank you very much, replied the other. The first Death Eater confidently leaned forward to plant a kiss on his cheek. well done, said the second as his friend stepped back again. All the other Death Eaters clapped politely. Then they all took a few minutes to go over the plan to get rid of Harry's magic. Harry could tell that Voldemort was standing right behind him. He felt a great overreaction. Harry tore his eyes from his head and threw them into the forest. Voldemort raised his eyebrows at Harry who could not see anything at the moment. Voldemort, you're a very bad and mean wizard, Harry savagely said. Hermione nodded encouragingly. The tall Death Eater was wearing a shirt that said, Hermione has forgotten how to dance, so Hermione dipped his face in mud. That needs to in the thumbnail. Everyone applauded. Ron smiled. Ron reached for his wand slowly. Ron's the handsome one muttered Harry as he reluctantly reached for his. And jets of green light shot out of the Death Eaters heads. Ron flinched. Not so handsome now, thought Harry as he dipped Hermione in hot sauce. The Death Eaters were dead now and Harry was hungrier than he had ever been. The great hall was filled with incredible moaning chandeliers and a large librarian who had decorated the sinks with books about masonry. Mountains of mice exploded. Several long pumpkins fell out of McGonagall. Dumbledore's hair scooted next to Hermione as Dumbledore arrived at school. The pig of Huffapuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it and placed his hand on its head. You are Hagrid now. We're the only people who matter. He's never going to get rid of us. Harry, Hermione and Ron said in chorus. The floor of the castle seemed like a large pile of magic. The Dursleys had never been to the castle and they were not about to come there in Harry Potter and the portrait of what looked like a large pile of ash. Harry looked around and then fell down the spiral staircase for the rest of the summer. I'm Harry Potter. Harry began yelling. The Dark Arts better be worried, boy. boy. Oh, that was great. Wow. Yeah, and I guess they had the bot-generated title too, it was Harry Potter and the portrait of what looked like a large pile of ash. Yeah. I should be for women's pretty great. Yeah. Needs to be published for sure. Harry Gougeon is in eyes out. That's pretty good. It was like Harry Potter, but like mad libs, like give me an adjective. me one of the pumpkins that fell out of them. They were long pumpkins. Long pumpkins. You are Hagrid now. I know read one more, it's kind of short. It's a Trump and Biden debate. guess someone had this bot watch hours of Trump and Biden debates and had it write its own debate. So it says, two men stand on stage to show voters they know enough words to be president. One is Trump, large man who sells red hats. Other option is Biden, famous for being other option. Hehehehehe You Trump. Five years ago, you see map America not on it. Nowhere. I'd poke a hundred maps and say, where's the USA? Should be map star. Where it go? Obama hit it in a lake. I put it back. Biden. Hogwash. You wash hogs with lies. Listen. Now is bad. Listen. Let us go back to then. Listen. Everyone listens. We hear the sound of America proud eating Trump he is sleeping Joe always asleep. He will turn America into a bed use Constitution as the pillow not me. I never use Constitution That does sound like something he would say. That was pretty good. And then Biden. Mar-a-lar-key. I do no sleeping. I forget how it is done. Well, Well presidents. Yes. Well said. Incredible. Yeah, was, that's that. Well, ah I have a lovely, lovely game. ah Joe, think would be a little more. ah Maybe it's a game you've played before David, but just more, I see it's more difficult. So gentlemen, we're going to play the, can you name that movie based off the shrimp? Based off the shrimp? That's right. Last week we did name the villain based on the eyes. This is a little more different. This is gonna be named that movie based off the shrimp. so I'm gonna send you, I have five movies with only pictures of the shrimp from that movie. You gotta tell me what movie it's from. Okay, first shrimp. do that, let's do that. All right, first shrimp. Uh, I thought I had it, but I don't know about the hand. That is the Incredibles. It's Mr. Incredible on his lazy boy. Wow. I've not even seen the Incredibles. Damn. Is the red and the black love? Yes. Yeah. It was definitely Pixar. was going to say Toy Story. I pointing out the black glove. I was like, okay. Well done. Well done. Let's get this, uh, this next shrimp. Thanks. Next shrimp coming in. Uh, Jaws? That's not Jaws. No, that's a Forrest Gump. It is Forrest Gump. The King of Shrimp. Hmm, oh bubblegum, We're gone. It me a shrimp and boat. Two for two. Um, this next one I've never seen is I'll tell you, it is an animated film. Okay. by the eyes on the shrimp. Oh, I don't know. I'm just like trying to figure out what the animation looks like. Yeah. It's, I don't know if I figured maybe you guys had seen it. You know, you got, you haven't seen it. The kid liens around this one. haven't seen it. It is Shark Tail. Yeah. There you go. I would not have gotten that. 15 years? Well done. Definitely would not have gotten that. I was going to say, uh, forget what I was going to say. Chris does that all the time. He's like, I don't remember when, uh, I guess I don't remember. oh All right, I got another shrimp inbound. ah That looks like real sh- there's real shrimp. Is that oh that is definitely scary movie. This is not scary movie No, looks like a strong hand. I like to guess though. It's not a waiter. Oh Looks like a waiter with a towel and everything. Is it a butler? It's not a butler So it's not Batman either then this guy's eating food. Basically the whole movie. He's always like eating something ah Zoe101. Uh, well, a rude clue. Uh, that's Brad Pitt. Eating something is oceans 11. I think the, I how many movies is he in? All. I think I only went there because of the shrimp in the ocean. Last shrimp. uh That's such a weird thing to say. Those aren't real shrimp. They're not, not live. Not, well, not live. uh Those are animated shrimp? Yeah. Not animated, but... No. You're in the right sorta kinda realm, kinda. Who framed Roger Rabbit? No, that's a good guess, What other guests could there be? The Lego Movie? No, no, no, no. It is a real life movie. How are we? Is there one character that Ted? The actress behind the shrimp recently passed. Second grade? In lieu of flowers, send more life. I don't know. It's tough. it's like a real movie, but there's a space jam. No, it's not space jam. It's not a movie that's mixed. I mean, it has special effects, but it's not like half animated, real. Did she die this year? Yes. ah Is she a big name? ah I mean when she passed people were sad. I'd say biggish like B plus A minus actor actress I don't think you saying the actress's name is gonna make me know where the trip of run. Hmm. So it's it's Let me use context clues. Hold on, not yet. Okay, I was gonna give you the actress name, see if that helps. It is Beetlejuice. How'd you do that? I looked up actresses that died. I scrolled past a lot of people. I scrolled past a black lady. And then I saw Catherine O'Hara and then I Googled Catherine O'Hara movie. And then uh there was wild robot, Beetlejuice, Argyle, Elemental. It's a fun game. game. Yeah. I I got, I started two for two and then fell apart, but it's okay. Huh. Look at you. Look at you coming in. Yeah, she went to Red Lobster. they the ones that have that like never ending shrimp bowl or it's like unlimited shrimp? Adam's had it back in the day. don't know about that. lobster or red lobster clothes. I really wanted to go yum, but that's the wrong red. Oh yeah. Wrong red. Red wrong. Unlimited. Red Lobster has replaced its previous $20 Ultimate Endless Shrimp promotion with a new limited time offer called Ultimate Spendless Shrimp to avoid massive losses that contributed to their 2024 bankruptcy. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, I have left is a try not to laugh game, a Reddit and then be your birthday this day in history stuff. I don't know what all you got. I think Try Not to Laugh would be a fun time. I think we're, what are we at? It's the hour? Yeah, 54. Yeah, that should get us where we need to be. Let me exit out of the shrimp picture. Babe, why do you have all these shrimps on your phone? You want to grab anything? I'm into that. Yeah. So on a side note, this Sunday is. We Easter and I'm not a big Christian candy proponent. Like I try to like not eat a lot of candy. Wait, would you say Christian? uh Fill in the blank. But damn, if, every time this year rolls around, if I don't see these in the store and have to buy a bag. You don't like peeps right? It's not Reese's eggs. It's not Cadbury. It's more fruity. Starburst jelly beans. Anybody? Really? You splurge on Starburst jelly beans? It's the worst take I've ever heard. I can't not get them. I think they're down that aisle all year every year. He just only goes down that aisle during Easter. the worst splurge I've ever heard of them. Was that like Mountain Dew stuff from Futurama called Splurge? Sit from holes is called splooge. That sounds worse. Usually splurge on things that make you splooge. Hmm. They did drink it. I don't know if that, know, sploosh. I don't recommend Googling it. I'm locking that. Oh, slurm. Slurm. Slurm. Doesn't sound drinkable to me. No. Ah, yeah. like a password that a pot made for Hermione. Slurm. Beef woman slurm. Yeah. The Weird Sisters. That was the Yo Ball Band. the weird sisters. Yeah, that's boy. That's not nearly as. I said it was something weird. I didn't, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean like literally. Yeah. You're, yeah. was trying to think of if we had any weird sisters at high school that we went to with any sisters that were like, they're weird. Kim and Chris. What about, um, Brady, the twins. don't think they went to high school. It was like elementary school. I don't even remember them in middle school. My cousin was friends with them. I've totally forgot about them. The white. like Calvin or Stephanie? Yeah, Sable. So they were like half sisters. Yeah. RIP. Yeah, she gone. She was cool. She's all right. I don't really know her, but is she like actually gone? Yeah, Stephanie died like two, two, three years? Yeah, from the past. Cancer, I think. From death. She needs more life. Yeah. Nobody sent her any more life. That should be the episode title. In lieu of flowers, more light. I know we were all going to hell already, but damn. Yeah. Oh yeah. Definitely. She died and who else died? Mr. Keys. No, I mean like, this is so morbid, but like classmates, somebody else, that was like right after high school. Yeah. Yeah. That was, that was fresh. Yeah. Well, for some reason I want to say, you remember Sabrina? Yes. I think she died. I don't think maybe I'm making that up. Sabrina. If you're listening, let us know. this one out to her, reset her more lights. Yeah. She had to have that is the most random person for you to just have been like, didn't she die? Like Stephanie was like, okay, you we, we intertwined with people. She was popular. That makes sense. like Sabrina, that is not something you're just like, uh she had a brother. Our brother was Andy, because I was friends with Andy in like sixth grade. I remember Andy. Yeah, they were Irish twins. Were they Born this not twins, but born the same year. I don't remember her. So just not do anything how you're supposed to. It's like an Irish goodbye is just like, just dip without saying bye. twins are just like your twins, but you're not. Yeah. I think they were just drunk all the time. All the time. just are drunk all the time. See? They hear a war going on. Let me try. Obituer? A bot wrote it. You I could have totally made that up. Yeah, but that's such a weird thing to make up. Not editing out any of this. So Andy, if your sister's dead, sorry. If you're... uh act like you mean it. Run it. Good luck. Los Cientos. sound more genuine? Or see when she's stuck like, uh, I'm pretty sure she hasn't been at Coldstone since 2011. I know. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else or I like. John Cusack? Great actor. No, David disagrees. don't see anything about her dying though. She's still alive and I totally made all you just now she's there. It's like a voodoo doll now. Which I almost finished watching that show. I started watching that. Something really bad is going to happen. Is it about to? It's a lot of stuff has happened, but. if it's only bad and not really bad, was it worth it? Everything that happens really bad. Hmm. Okay. Chris, you know what? I've been rewatching that I haven't seen in at least 10 years. Rewatching you speaking my language. ahead. Spartacus. Ah, Rachel. I've only seen it. Spark. Spark is awesome. Yeah, me too. I'm way back. Rewatching, um, Joe will get the reference. San Francisco. Oh yeah. So good. Yeah. That would, yeah. One of my absolute favorites. Yeah. And way, way, too short. Well, yeah. Yeah. And they tried to do the movie and okay, sure. It's fine. But yeah, I mean they did their best to button it up, but it did not do it any justice. first like, so I've almost done with season three and done with the series. So now I've been like, all right, well I'm in this mood. So now I've kicked over to hell on wheels as like a third or fourth rewatched guy. That's so, so, so good too. again get that dick out of your throat Hell of a wheel is like the junior version of Deadwood. Yeah. Yeah. TV version of it would. Yeah. It's got, it's got, it's got the, you know, it's got the, the priest and the, it's got it. It's like the same show, just TV a five. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And I want to watch Deadwood again now. Yeah, man. It's so worth it. Before I read these jokes, do you want me to tell you the biggest joke of all? And I think it's going to be the biggest combination of like disappointment, mind blown, surprised and anger and upset this that you've ever experienced. I mean it might not top the dream I had but it'll be close So I can't say for certain for how long, but Joe has Red Dead and has never played it. hurts. My plums are hurting right now. Since Christmas. Red 2. Red Dead 2. Correct. Yes. I actually played the first one, was obviously years ago. The only thing I'll say about it, Joe, is the first act of that game takes a good hour and a half to two hours of gameplay to get through the sludge and the bull. Yeah. Once you open up that world, Yeah. sideways. I'm almost like afraid to start it because I think it'll suck me. But I, but I do want to play it and I'll have everybody, whether they're into Western stuff or not. love that shit. love it. It's all of it. Just sorry, Joe, David. It's just, man, play that game. Please play. I will. You Vice City was good? Wait till you see that geographical structure. White city was good. Yeah, I'll play it. I'll, make that a, that'll be up a post draft mission of mine. There you go. Get you through the summer. It'll, I've replayed it three times and it's, man, makes, makes my panties all wet. Yeah. I a PS five for Christmas. That's been a paperweight since Christmas. But, um, to my back to my dream, I just want to, just want to quick. quick dream. um So I was swimming in an ocean, right? And the ocean turned into orange soda and I started drowning in it. I bet I know who came to the rescue. No, no, came. I was gonna say kill. I just woke up and realized it was a fantasy. When you said you woke up, I was hoping for you either pissed yourself or That was good. You got to sell them like it's real and then you did it was a good sell. Those are really good. So yeah, thanks for laughing. David just looked disappointed. Because every time he sells it, think I'm getting like a good story and I never do. It's always just a joke. Oh, that was like, the one about, God, I can't remember the punchline of like on a date. Oh yeah. Not delivered as well. The delivery was like, this girl and did all this and we went to the gym for first meetup and then we just realized it wasn't going to work out. We weren't going to work out. Yeah. I do remember that one. It was much more like long. What are we? let me give you these jokes. Full disclosure. You probably wouldn't laugh at anyone, I figured since we're all here, maybe I'll get one or two. We clearly have different opinions on what's funny. I To try not to laugh reference, correct? Yeah. Try not to laugh at these jokes. guess a la- laffer loses. What do you call a Chinese man with an amputated leg? uh a chopstick? Le leg? Lo main? I don't know. That's better than this. Taiwan shoe. All right, guys, tomorrow I'm to be doing a talk for people who can't climax. So please let me know if you can't Mm-hmm. A man goes to the supermarket and buys toothpaste, a toothbrush, soap, milk, cereal, and a frozen dinner. The girl at the register looks at him and says, single? He says, how'd you know? She replies, because you're ugly. Oh, damn. Yeah. I'd hit her with that frozen dinner. That's right. Take that hungry man. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. I've been cussing all through this thing. Don't feel bad. Last week it was like an hour in and I was at like 30 S. I was like, Yeah, I was, I was, I was f***ing a homo. There was a king who was 12 inches tall. Terrible king. Great ruler. So bad. bad. Oh, yeah. And God said to John, Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster. I'll take the toaster. Yeah, that was good. A woman goes to buy a parrot. The prices are $200, $100, and $15. She asks, why is the last one so cheap? And the shopkeeper says, it used to work in a brothel. She brings the parrot home and it says, oh my god, a new brothel. The woman laughs. Her daughters come home and the parrot says, oh my god, two new workers. And the woman laughs. The woman's husband comes home and the parrot says, hell, it's Pete. I ain't seen you all week. He likes to party. Yeah. A woman offered me sex if I did an advertisement for bathroom cleaner. I obviously declined because I've got high moral power and strong willpower. Just as strong as Flash, the super strong bathroom cleaner. And then one more. one made me chuckle. This wasn't even like part of the thing I stole, but I thought it was funny so I added it. oh me. At a certain point in a relationship, you get to a point where you've seen your partner's butthole more than they have themselves. And I think there's something beautiful in that. The priest. The bride has also chosen to write her own vows. laughter That's it. Well, that's good stuff. Do you have an ask or edit? Do you want to tell me what you're drinking first? I just switched to a pineapple high noon from my Tito's and Pamplemousse LaCroix. I just switched to a watermelon high noon from my peach high noon. How about that? Also Joe, I can recommend the Kiwi and the raspberry high noon. Highly recommend. Uh, I do not like Kiwi. I think we have a raspberry downstairs though, which I will drink next. Dust fourthly. Yes. Or fifthly and get a toaster And I'm drinking from Edmonds Oast Brewing a sour apricot peach American sour ale I Don't know if I've ever had an apricot apricot, however, you say that so I don't know if I like those peaches All right, but it's decent. I won't buy it again oh so seven nine It's good. It's not seven. Nine's pretty good for never buying it again. I know, but it's good, but I wouldn't buy it again. Seven nine is also the artwork when they can is just terrible. I would. It's like, hey, this is what's in it splash some watercolor over it. I was sitting here thinking water color when I was looking at that. Yeah. Yeah, so that's that. So this week on my ask Reddit, I've got which person alive right now will still be famous in 200 years in the year 2,226. Uh, feel like politicians are a cop out. Yeah. Cause they're like history, whether they're liked or not, they're like just a part of history. 200 years from now. Paul McCartney. Good answer. Greatest musician that ever lived. My opinion. I'm going say like Cal Ripken or Brett Favre. I think you could have went way different way like what is different athlete? the record that came to mind that's never gonna be a good record. guess you're right. Record wise. That's probably, yeah, it's a guy 200 years ago played this long and yeah. can't even say like it's because I saw Chris's hat because I can't see Chris's hat. That's true. mean, you know it's orange, at least. looks red. That's orange. Yeah, it's an Orioles hat. It's an Orioles hat. What do mean? Yeah, uh I saw it before he launched on that, uh, the rocket that went out of Florida earlier, which is where he has. It was orange earlier when he was still on earth. Yeah. It looks red now, but we know why. Okay. We know why. Yeah, because somebody won't call Spectrum. So some responses I got are there's a non-zero chance that Kermit will not transcend all space and time Kermit Kermit the frog Kermit the frog Elmo As a used bookstore owner I'm fairly confident people will be dragging copies of Stephen King books into bookstore saying these were my granddad's they were really old Are they worth anything? They won't be but people still know his name long-lived the king. Okay. Yeah, so Marvin the Martian may like become even bigger. if we, in 200 years, if we're living on like, just be like, right? Like he's, he's like the mascot of humanity. ah Huh. Hmm. Okay. That was like a Marina ask pool. Well, I don't know. He said, uh, you're Kermit and I don't know. just thought, uh, want to Ruby tunes for some reason. Okay. Okay. Um, I've got sir David Attenborough, current environments will be destroyed in 200 years. His video documented them in his documentaries. Uh, it would be like if he had videos of the dodo's that word. I'll be honest with you. I don't know who that guy is now. ah dude, David Attenborough? He's the guy, every nature movie you watch and he's like, Oh, the Christ bird and the child. Everybody knows who he is. You don't watch planet earth. gotta just, planet earth is put on like when you get in bed. With the woman you're married to, you've never seen planet earth. His voice is soothing. It's a blue planet. Like any of those. What's the one that like Obama does? not change what you definitely, you definitely want to watch David Attenborough, not over. Okay. There's a new, like I started it, but like a dinosaur one, have you watched it? Just doing it. You don't like it. Why not? Because he's like, we don't know what man was doing 500 years ago and you- oh It's still cool. It's I watched it but it's just like I'm watching it bull but you watch that people I'm watching it going like Like okay, know how this animal hunted. I don't think so. It's like NASA saying this planet 10 million light-years away We know what the third layer of the core is. Okay, I get that but but they're not but it's not they're not used It's made of french fries and hot dogs like I get that, but it doesn't make it like less of a good watch. It's a good watch, but as I watched, I'm going, you don't know what this animal did. it's not gospel on dinosaurs. No, you're good. But it's a documentary though, right? I mean, it's in the form of a documentary, but there's also similar documentaries about what the world would be like post, you know, apocalypse. Like cities, like there's a whole documentary about that, like six part series of like what city and wildlife would be like if humans just disappeared off earth. feel like we have a more educated guess on that than something that lived 120 million years ago, how it hunted and slept. Now I'm not. Yeah. I mean, They're definitely not like factual a hundred percent. Yeah. Doesn't make it a bad watch. I don't I never watched the whole thing the first time. I thought you just going say I never watched it. Just wanted to argue with. I've got uh Keenan Thompson will still be on SNL. So I guess him. I made the Kel reference earlier in a little full circle. Mariah Carey, All I Want for Christmas will still be relevant after we are all dead and gone. will be played for hundreds of years. Who gets paid when she dies? It'll just go next to kin next to kin next to kin next to kin. I've got a Paul McCartney ain't dead yet. Yep. Just said that. Got someone who's very high on their horse. I don't mean to brag, but me. Probably not. It might be Kermit. I don't mean to brag, but uh, and then the finally I've got Rick Astley, the meme ain't going anywhere and will survive the heat death of the universe. don't even know who that is. So false. Never going to give you a. Never gonna let you down Never gonna turn around And deserve I it's the most watched YouTube video ever. You never got Rick? never said Rick roll. Don't know that is either. This is that's more bizarre than anything we've ever said. This is where you go. oh I don't like that at all. You don't know what Rick Rowling I get that, but do you at least know the song? I don't know what rolling rock beer is. No, what if I, I hear it, Rick Astley, David, and like put it in your egg roll and you got Rick egg rolled. Rick Ashley I know what that is it I know those are Damn that's that's very surprising Joe that you don't know who that is or what that is that hole so like you click on a link thinking it's one thing but then that song plays then it brings you to this. Did I do it? Like who? Like meat spin? uh Yeah. Same realm. Same room. of the song. Yeah. Yeah. I the song. Yeah. So the singer is Rick Astley. Okay. And I don't know how it started, but it's like a big, for like a decade, at least like someone will send you a link and be like, check this out. And it's just a link to this song. What? Maybe that's why I don't know what it is. Life has been slacking because they haven't Rick rolled me yet. Yeah, I guess. He needs more life. Yeah. It either, it either takes you to that or, that black dude sitting like this with his dick hanging out. Yeah, you can have a cup of coffee in the morning, don't you? You don't drink coffee remember last time we had them on Well, put something hot in it. No, no. No. Well, this week my ask Reddit is men of Reddit. What is the male equivalent of needed money had no marketable skills. So turn to prostitution. Oh, I've sold my blood and plasma for beer money before. The male version of that is probably selling off your video games at GameStop. That's a good answer. I mean, get like nickels on the dollar for it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I've been hard up and sold like a PS2 at GameStop before. Blood plasma, video games. I'm trying to look around at what. I mean, it's not like, I mean, I don't know. I guess it's shameful. I wouldn't. It's the male version, I guess. Okay. So you guys will be surprised. All three of our answers are on here. Nice. What's your answer? Number one, joining the military. ah yeah. Yeah. I think that would probably be the answer. That's a good one. Like, cause you're selling your body basically. Yeah. But it's not a shameful sell of your body. No, it's not something like you hide from your parents. You know what I mean? think let's you join the Navy. uh Like today, like back in the day when they were beasts. Yeah. Continue. Yeah. The gay, maybe the Navy. have in Texas there are two options when looking down the barrel of destitution running to recruiter office or running to the oil rigs. Yep. And then Billy Bob's got you. The land man reference. sorry. reference doubles up slightly as Armageddon. Oh, Billy Bob. There little riggers that went to work for Billy Bob for NASA. call. And Billy Bob is, isn't he? No. Who's he in Houston? Who plays? That's, well, Billy Bob's in Houston. But it's also a Lucius Malfoy is like the super smart dude. Yeah. Still a Dick though. Okay. Yeah. He is a Dick. Well, put it this way, if it rains, you'll be the first to know. Bruce Willis was like downplaying whatever Malfoy was telling him. And Billy Bob was like, he's the smartest guy on earth. might want to listen to him. Yes. Oh, great flick. Love it. That sounds like it would have been a good one for that one game I had you play where I like described a movie using the characters as their characters from other movies. yeah. Yeah. That would have been perfect. Armageddon would be great for that because there's like, Oh, and Wilson's in it. Uh, Tyler is in it. Like there's tons of actors. Uh, Ben Affleck, Ben Affleck. Uh, yeah, there's tons of them. I got when our work dried up temporarily my whole crew started selling plasma with the right blood type They pay you extra for certain programs. We called ourselves professional hemoglobins. That's right. I have medical testing Yep have scamming and drug dealing What does scamming mean? I first thought went to like the pyramid scheme stuff. I was thinking like bootleg stuff like GTA but you put it on and it's like Yoshi's World or something. uh Another Sabrina pool. This guy said, today OP learned that men can be prostitutes too. One of the darkest days a man can possibly face, that slow walk into the pawn shop with the Xbox or Playstation. Mm-hmm. Never done that. Uber Door Dash. It's different nowadays. Yeah, those are like fallbacks. Like, I don't know. They're not shameful fallbacks, Yeah. But I mean, if you have no marketable skills and that's, yeah. Um, I f**ked my landlady for four months in lieu of rent while her fiance worked out of town. I also used to have a guy who lived one building down from me, a doctor, believe it or not, who'd pay me $120 to watch him f**k off. That's not where all of that was going. I'm going to assume that she ignored the men of Reddit part of this question, unless it's gay dude. I don't know. I have real estate. Not great to be in right now. Become a cop? I wrote this one down because the response was funny. uh Same thing actually, men can be prostitutes too. It's just most men would rather break their back than suck a dick. And the comment said, build a hundred bridges, but suck one dick and you're labeled as a c*** forever. And last one I have is giving handies behind the Wendy's dumpster. It's oddly specific. You to ask, you can't afford it. Back off. What's he say? Back off. Antonio, think is the name. Back off Antonio and he runs away. Oh, that's good. Classic. Damn, I think we went six times to the theater to see that movie. Oh, at least. Alright, ready for these birthdays? Ready? Let's hear it. And willing. So what's the date? April 8th. All right. I want you two to tell me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear these birthday people. CD lamb. nuts, I get it. See these nuts? Dean Norris. Oh, breaking bad. Oh, Hank. Yeah. Okay. That's on pool tables. uh You knocked my drink over, Ponce De Leon. Adam driver. I'm thinking of, no. Wrong pots Parts Caribbean. I don't know why it didn't come to me. Okay. Former governor of Puerto Rico? Spanish conquistador and former governor of Puerto Rico. I thought he was the one that landed in St. Augustine. I'm thinking of that pirate from Pirates of the was thinking of Don Quijote. The Frenchman, blah, blah, blah. says something Frenchman, blah, blah. Oh, did you say Ponce de Leon? Yeah. What'd think I said? Yeah. Well, yeah. After you Googled it. No, no, no. I was right. I right. Pirates Caribbean. I Googled the Adam Driver thing. Uh, yeah. So was he the guy that landed in St. Augustine? But Joe's right. Pirates of the Caribbean. That's the dude that they, yeah. Well, I had the pirate wrong, but it was Pirates of the I was thinking of the French pirate from like, uh, the, the, the main trilogy. Yeah. You know I'm talking about? But found the youth wasn't that one. Yeah. Wait, anybody follow? Found a use. Wasn't that the third one? No, that was useless afterwards. Third one was, it's not on stranger tides, right? It's, uh, is. I think so. It was Dead Man's Chair. it's black pearl, dead man's chest, stranger tides. He's part of the park court. No. Yeah. The guy I'm thinking of. Franfrancoel Olanais. Okay, so Pedro Manon, San Augusto, Francois. Okay. Francois. Izzy Stradlin. Ooh, Stardust. I got nothing. Nothing. Who's Izzy Stradlin? guns and roses. I hope you guys would know that. No, that must be the, no, don't know guns and roses people. know Axel Rose and slash. Okay. Chris Kyle. Sniper. Yeah, the sniper dude. All right, RIP. Got killed by our own dude. Yeah. Poor guy. Yeah. Was that it? No. Okay. Yeah. It wasn't Izzy Stardust. uh Well, happy national Buddha day. Happy dog farting awareness day. ah Happy draw a picture of a birthday. No, draw Hermione. Have an International Feng Shui Awareness Day. Okay. A national dog fighting awareness day. National empanada day. Empanada day. uh National trading cards for grownups day. Yeah, I and Zoo Lovers Day. Yeah, when's that? Aquarium Lovers Day. So is an aquarium a zoo just for fish? an aquatic zoo, maybe. uh February 20th is aquarium day They just made up the word instead of saying fish zoo. Well, it was more than fish. More than fish. Yes, an aquarium is a specialized type of zoo focused on aquatic animals and plants, often considered the aquatic equivalent of a zoo a lot. of aquarium. Kind of figured that one out. What's the definition of a zoo? Like why isn't a zoo land aquarium? Zoo is an all encompassing collection of animals. An establishment which maintains a collection of wild animals typically in a park or gardens for study, conservation, or display to public. Yeah, I feel like coming up with a whole other, especially a word that big was a little unnecessary. Yeah. could have said, no, but real close, real close. It pooped in the water, like right in front of the exhibit we were looking at. One of the first ones we were, went to, yeah. That one the bird way out pooped and it just hit the bloop right in the water in front of us. It's like, don't stand here. It's like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like had I been leaning over, it would have got me. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, that was fun. Yeah. That's all I had. You want to talk to your friends and tell them how much we love them? the e-sports kids? Dude. Didn't see any of them in the aquarium because they'd had to leave their basement. See, that's right. The only thing they're seeing is Starburst jelly beans up their ass because they're gay. Gosh darn anal warriors. That's what they are. oh throw it back for anyone listening about Rita. Rita, if you're listening, we're She still work at that breakfast place in Annapolis? I don't know what she does, man. The one who lives come to die. Well that's that. No harm done. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, I think, um... So grab a drink, lower your expectations, and let's make some... So I'm not saying let's make some absolutely elite... Nor your expectation. Okay. So you guys get like thesis and I get like a like, Hey, say enough just to credit him. It'll get you songwriter's credit. Yeah. That's enough. He let us know when. Nerds. Oh, a birthday donut. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Joe. Happy birthday to you.