Raising Champions Beyond The Scoreboard - w/ Coach Don Ashley - S3E1

Want a real playbook for raising resilient leaders in a world of distractions? Coach Don Ashley joins us to break down how mindset, micro-habits, and honest self-talk turn anxious teens into disciplined athletes and confident young adults. Forget the myth that games are won by schemes alone, three to six plays swing most outcomes, and those plays reflect preparation, courage, and focus under pressure.

We dig into the core of Coach Ashley's Championship Lifestyle: success as a chain of small, repeatable choices. He walks us through habit design that actually sticks
The conversation gets candid about phones, dopamine, and why so many teens struggle to lead. Coach Ashley's shows parents how to support without coddling and how to invite responsibility with a real plan.

If you’re a parent, coach, or student looking for practical tools to build discipline, emotional intelligence, and leadership that lasts beyond sports, this one is for you. Listen, try the micro-challenge, and tell us your win of the day. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review with one choice you’re committing to this week.

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Transcript

Philosophy Over Xs And Os

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Hey, come on in and make yourself comfortable. I'm Coach Mickey. And if this is your first time joining us, I'm so glad that you have. And if you are a regular listener or you're here on our YouTube channel, thank you so much. We really appreciate all the time, the questions, and the comments that you make for each and every one of our guests. And I am really excited today, just like any other day, it is always a pleasure and exciting to have guests like this onto my podcast. And if you are watching here on YouTube, you guys are in for something amazing today. I have had the opportunity to work with this coach. I have seen him in action. And when you hear what he does and what he has to offer, uh I invite each and every parent that is listening to this to reach out to him because you were I have seen his work firsthand and it's extraordinary. So I'm going to welcome today with uh Coach Don Ashley, and he is the founder of Championship Lifestyle. Uh it's a choice program, a mindset, and a leadership system that has helped young athletes build discipline, confidence, and mental toughness for more than 20 years. Coach Don is an accomplished football coach, a mentor who has led championship teams to the local and national level while mentoring thousands of young athletes between the ages of 10 and 25. His philosophy is simple but powerful: teamwork, focus, hard work, and get better. Through the championship lifestyle program, Coach Don teaches young athletes how to develop mindset, habits, and emotional intelligence needed to win, not just on the field, but also in life. Parents, today, if you're looking for ways to help your kids navigate through the pressures, the distractions, social media, and competition, Coach Don has created a practical system that helps young people make better choices, build character, and become leaders. His message is simple: success is always a choice. Welcome, Coach Don Ashley. How are you today?

SPEAKER_00 2:21

I am fantastic, Mickey. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Well, thanks for being here. I've I've seen your work firsthand and I've seen what these kids uh how they excel and and just evolve through your program. So I was really excited to have you on and share your message and your information.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

Well, thanks. I appreciate it. Uh it's nice uh when people understand what we're trying to do besides uh the sport of football.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Yeah. And so what do you what would you say? And a lot of people look at football, and a lot of times uh we go in there as coaches and it's all X's and O's, but we know there's mindset is the most important thing uh when it comes to any really any sport, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Yeah, I'm a I'm a big believer in X's and O's are all day long. Everybody and so many people know more. That's not what it's about. I I if you look at all the championships won and lost and all that, once in a blue moon, it'll come to X's and O's, but usually it's here and here, and and preparation and things that go into it. And so I'm a I'm a I'm a fundamental guy.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

Well, I I I I agree with you. I think a lot of it is 80% mindset, and the other 20% really is talent or or the knowledge of the game. Because I mean, look at some of the Super Bowls that we've seen. I mean, not this past one, but the one prior with uh Philadelphia and Kansas City. Philadelphia, their mindset was they came to win, and and Kansas City just totally lost it. And you could see, you could see the switch, you know, and and over the years, I know that's probably what you've seen, you know, on the field. If that mindset is not right, you know, you're gonna have a challenge being able to uh get back into the game and keep moving forward.

Winning As Daily Choices

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Sure. And at the at the pro level, that's a that's a different breed of cat completely, because there you see a true trickle-down effect from the front office, all the way down to everybody in the building. Uh at the at the levels that we work with of uh from youth to high school to college to guys trying to get to the pro. Um, you know, it's a it's a different road and it's a different mindset. And uh, as you you know, I I teach that uh football is a minute piece of your life, but it's the last last thing left, uh, I feel of uh teaching our our our young men. And and now as as girls start to play and women start to play this sport, they'll understand, I hope, uh what football's really all about. You know, to guys like to guys like me, you know, football is life and life is football. It it translates and it's it's uh unbelievable sport if if handled in the proper context. And it can be devastating handled in the wrong context, as we've seen, you know.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Yeah, and I I really like your card, you know, your core philosophy. You know, your program is called Championships Lifestyle. It's a choice. So how do you incorporate that? How is that something that you bring onto the field that these kids can take, like you said, not only on the field, but also off the field?

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Well, our lives are just uh a bunch of choices, a bunch of very tiny second by second minute choices all linked together. And you hope by the end of the deal, you've made more right choices than wrong choices. Um, and because the because the choices are so uh minute and never ending, um it's easy to turn things around. So that's what I try to uh instill in the guys that if I call it perfect days, you know, how many perfect days can you string together? And going my time on the planet, I've only been able to put together 18 in a row, and it's like that's where you lights out, you wake up, you hydrate, you work out, you get up, you get all everything on your checklist done, and boom, you're back in bed on time at nine or 10 o'clock. And uh very difficult to do, but it's it's how do you get back on track? You're always gonna fall off track, or life is going to knock you off track for positive. So you get ready for that. Um, 20 years ago when I started this uh people thought I was crazy and too mean and this and that. Um and I didn't understand uh what the world and parents and people thought they were getting their uh boys and young men ready for, telling them it's not about winning. Everything's about winning, every single day is about winning. We never walk out our front door as adults where it's not about winning. Now, that being said, winning's different for everybody at different times of their life, but it's always about winning.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

And that makes sense. It does. I mean, whether you're winning the day or you're doing a small accomplishment, I mean, that even those are wins, you know, just small things like that.

Building Courage And Defining Wins

SPEAKER_00 8:13

And today is winning for some kids may be, hey, I'm gonna eat healthy today. Winning for another kid would be, I'm not gonna get drunk with my friends today. A win for a kid, a high school kid could be, hey, I'm gonna call my parents at one in the morning or midnight and say, My friends are drunk, come pick me up. That's a win, that's a big win, and things like that. But it's always about building courage to make the right choice. Because if we all look back, like when we look at a game, your average football game, if it's a good football game, there's it three to six plays make the difference. And what were those choice? Was it a fundamental mistake, you know? Was it was it was it uh uh uh an accident freaking nature, which is life taking a swing at you, you know. So I t I I tell the kids life's a poker game you can't fold, you just keep getting cards. Some days you pick up, yes. Other days you pick up a but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

So I've I've seen you in action, I've seen you with the kids, and your way of connecting with them and working with them, they they really bond with you because you're offering them something that not only, like I said, that they need on this field, but also off the field. And give us an idea of of what you see when you first come onto a field and you know you're going to make these extraordinary changes and difference in these kids' lives. You know, kind of walk us through what how you see that and what transpires.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Well, first thing I I like to do, I like to just watch them before I even interact with them. And you can look and see the dynamics uh of your players and the people how they interact. You can see who the alpha males are, who who who the quiet guys are. And as coaches, the fun of it and the the the thrill of it is every year you're sitting there with 50 to 150 new minds, and our job as coaches is to figure out individually what makes that person tick at the highest level. Like I say, hey, my goal every year is to get you to play the best football you've ever played in your life, and so you learn, you know, you you learn if you're paying attention to your kids, uh, you learn real quick how what motivates, what lifts, what inspires, what hurts. Because remember, their lives are 95% off that football field. So, what luggage, what are they coming with? And you got to break through that. What I try to build the field is once they come in here, we try to leave everything out there. This is your safe spot, and your safe spot, and it's gonna happen, is you're gonna work harder than you've ever worked before in your life, but I promise you you're gonna have the most fun, and it's gonna be the best thing you've ever done for yourself, and you're gonna love it.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

So I'm gonna that leads me to my next question. So I know you've coached a lot of championship teams. So, what is the difference between a really talented athlete and someone who is gonna actually succeed long term for the rest of their life?

Reading Teams And Creating Safe Spaces

SPEAKER_00 11:43

90 plus percent attitude. Attitude and philosophy. Okay, and the ability to be flexible and try things you've never tried before, to think ways you've never thought before, especially in today's world. Kids are so, and because I've done it so long, to watch the difference of a decade ago young man and a current young man. All they care about in the beginning is what everybody thinks of me. There's you gotta beg a lot of the time for leaders. It's like I be I I was having a talk with a coach the other day, and I just said, Isn't it amazing how nobody wants to lead? When when when I played ball, uh, whether it was baseball, football, what all you did is I I want to, I want to be a captain, I want to lead, I want to lead, I want to lead. No, you gotta wait. These guys have been in, you gotta everybody wanted to lead. Now you're begging, and you're and I even great athletes, they don't want to lead. They don't want to lead, and that's a problem. It's a problem for them when they get off that football field.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

So, and I mean, you have an opportunity to speak to parents, you know, pretty much worldwide. And what is something that you think a parent can do because their motivation may be different, you know, once they get in that car, once those kids leave and they get in the car, now they're with their parents, they got the home life. And a lot of times I know they're in they really mean well and they try to say the right things. However, sometimes I think a parent's motivation or what they offer, um, we don't know how it's affecting these other kids when they come back on the field. So, what would what could you offer to parents that might help them, you know, to help their kids in a more positive way?

Attitude, Leadership, And Today’s Athletes

Guidance For Parents In A Digital World

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Um, sorry about that. Um I would say for the most part, parents of today, uh we failed as kids. We failed. We took the lumps and the bumps by ourselves, and our parents told us get up, quit your crying, and fix the situation. They didn't have time for parents today try to soften the blow, okay? Whether it's they're overweight or nobody wants to admit that they're literally addicted to their phones in a in a in a negative way that people have no idea the damage. It's been so underplayed, and now you look out at these kids and it's a sea of zombies sometimes. They're just numb. And nobody understands the correlation of the dopamine serotonin and all this stuff. So, like I just got brought on to a new program, and I sit sit there and I go, look at them, look at their eyes. I go, now you they they don't know how to get um uh a dopamine serotonin boost without the phones, you know, or video or how to interact. So the real challenge in the beginning is to get them excited about not using those tools, about really going into their brain. I know I was one of the first coaches 18 years ago that was having young kids meditate and stuff and and visualize in a different way that people weren't you used to and uh meditate and breath work, and people go, really? What are you doing? I go, nobody asks these kids today, what are you thinking? Nobody teaches them how their brain works and how their brain works against them. I start right out, and you know my rules. We don't BS ourselves. I say you may lie to me, you may lie to parents, you may lie to other coaches, your teachers. You're only screwed in life when you're laying your head on the pillow and you're lying to yourself. Then you're doomed. Okay. And everything you do is based on how you ask yourself questions throughout your life, and how you the inner talk. I'm uh I'm a NLP master, been through decades of training, and that's the first thing. I go, we gotta know how they think. Nobody tells the kids how to think, nobody tells them how their brain works, the pain and pleasure. But when I ask kids, hey, raise your hand, hey, there's no wrong answer, raise your hand if you think you have a problem with your phone, whatever. It's a 90 plus percent hand raise. They know. And at first, when we go to meditate and do you just quiet the mind, they're all shy and everybody's subcon self-conscious of what's going on. But literally, to get them to hold still for five seconds, 10 seconds, it's unbelievable to watch what they go through. Ticks, and it's just quiet, relax. But after they do it, four, you've seen the kids are begging. Hey, are we meditating today? Are we me? They need that, they need to know how their brain works. Why? So we do the little tests that we do, and I give them the thing of this is how simple it's gonna be. Tonight I just want you to put an eight-ounce glass of water next to your bed. This is all you have to do. You have to wake up, grab that glass of water, drink it, walk into the bathroom. I just want you to floss one tooth. It's all you gotta do, and you've passed this challenge for the day, and we're gonna do it seven days in a row. No, usually a whole team won't make it past days three and four, but that's not the test, and that's not the importance of it. It is, I want to know, and I want them to know what did your brain tell you for why you weren't doing it. Because in there lies your enemy. So you're sitting there, and a bunch of them will go, Oh, I put the water there and you didn't drink it. You see the water in the morning, you know you have this thing, and what kept you from doing it? I don't know, I just didn't do it. Or they do one and not the other, so that they can see at a very low, safe level of who they're arguing, who their arguments with, who their fights with. And we all deal with it as adults and parents and humans, but I think if you deal with this at a much younger age, and with with uh boys and young men, it's really important. Our our young men are extremely soft mentally, physically, and and life doesn't care. I also tell them once they walk out that front door, nobody, nobody loves them like they do here. No, no, nobody cares. So what world are we getting our our our young men, young people ready for? You gotta look at the reality of it. You know?

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Where where do you see where do you see the correlation with all of this based on this mindset and again what you're saying to yourself that correlates with the self-confidence? You know, I mean, because we're gonna deal with that, you know, not only on the field, but also in life. And I see that a lot with kids where that that self-belief is is always challenging for them. So where where does that correlation come with all of this, Coach Don, when you see all of this and you see it transpiring?

Teaching The Brain: Meditation And Habit Micro-Challenges

Focus Training And Confidence Through Work

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Well, that's the thing. First thing, they need every all of us need to be ex want to be accepted. Okay. So, and that's the beautiful thing of sports as a whole and team sports as a whole, but football's a different, I think, is a a different breed of cat when it comes to that. And one way we bond is when you suffer together, when you feel pain together, and you get each other through things, it's a natural bond. Okay. And so uh I teach that conditioning is never punishment. That's why I train with my kids. I I run with my teams, I lift with my teams. We're we're a team. Let's go. If I show them, if we do it on our terms, starting in January, February, March, we don't have to make ourselves throw up and kill ourselves and feel horrible. If we do the gradual building of conditioning and getting in shape, cardio, weight, everything, it should be a smooth uptick like this, so that when you get to season, you're just in maintenance mode because you are you are stamina, you are strong, you are nutritionally sound, and you're ready to go. And your mind should just be fine-tuned for focus. But teams don't practice focus. Focusing is a muscle. If you don't focus, try talking to a kid these days, try talking to anybody uh 30 and under. They'll be looking at you, shaking your hand, and won't be looking you in the eye. So I literally begin with focus. It's my number one thing where they literally just sit, don't move, don't do anything. Just stare at this guy. And it it we step by step move to full blown. 20 minutes, 30 minutes meditation, and for them, once they learn how to relax and breathe and do it, it's like a four-hour nap for them, and then once they see that and feel that and feel the freedom of just not worrying about what each other's thinking about each other, they start going now. And you take a heavy kid and you shed 20 pounds off him, 25 pounds, the confidence just comes. The confidence just comes. And you know, part part of I think my my my blessing of understanding uh this is um I'm a good I'm a good uh observer of people and of knowing and seeing when something makes them tick. Something goes or something, or like no, like I've had kids burst into tears while doing jumping jacks, and all of a sudden you go, whoa, what do you do with that? There's something deeper. I mean, it's it's uh it's a it's so it's it's and that's the also the fun of it. And like we say, uh there's nothing better, and if you've ever been on a football sideline, there's nothing better when the the the least experienced kid and the not the best player or the worst player on team when when you put him in that right position and the ball just accidentally comes his way, or he makes a play to see the team, that you just change that child's life or that young man's life. Okay, and those are the the highs of it. The way we do it, a lot of time you can't help but win because the way we focus and the way we prepare on fundamentals. That's why I was so happy to see Indiana win. And I'll bet I had over over 15 phone calls from my previous players go, Coach, they did it the way we did it. It's all just fundamental and focus until the it's over. And it's it was really good to see. Like I like I always said, give me a bunch of sevens and eights over a few superstars, but give me focused sevens and eights that want to play for each other, and we're gonna win eight out of nine games, you know.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Well, I'm I'm really excited. If you anybody would like to reach out to Coach Don Ashley, please note that the link is down below. If you're looking here on the YouTube channel and if you're listening to the podcast, you guys all know that just click on his name and that's gonna take you right to his website and how you can contact him because he is going to be one of the biggest assets you can have on your field, um, whether you're reaching out for him individually or for your team. And uh, and I know we're we're getting close on time because I could sit here and talk for hours with you because you've got a plethora of information. But I do have one more question that I'd like to ask is that one of the things is accountability. I think as a team and as also as individuals, um, how do you incorporate and how do you uh teach that it is the importance of accountability, you know, not only just as the team, but also for yourself?

Fundamentals Over Stars And Culture Wins

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Well, um, I to when I talk to the parents, I tell the parents, I'm gonna teach, try to teach your kid what I'm gonna be teaching your son is to have adults eating out of the palm of his hand. Okay. If you ask most kids, especially coming in ninth grade, high school, what do they want? They want to be treated, they're no longer a kid. They want to be treated like an adult, they want more responsibility. They don't they want to be able to go and do things in the center. And I say, What have you done where your parents would have any idea that you've grown up? And I make them break down, well, what'd you do today? And we literally go half hour by half hour, what'd you do? I go, now imagine you coming home the same way and go, hey, mom, dad, I need you to sign for this. I I got a part-time job, I want to work 15 hours a week, and but and you come at them with a plan like you're growing up, like you showed maturity. You can't be a five-year-old one day and then ask them to let you stay out to one in the morning the next day. You got to pick a lane. So the goal here is to get them functioning and to stop BSing themselves. It's like, oh, I want to be, I want to be a D1 athlete. Do you want really? Here, I'll give you a D1, and I have my D1 guys talk to them. I say, here's the schedule of a D1 athlete. You know, okay. Here's a schedule of a D2, D3 athlete. They have no idea. It's all unless they've had a brother or a parent, a dad that played or whatever. They have no idea what goes on. Okay. So to give them a dose of reality, okay. And then I have the kids that that go into the entrepreneur program that want to start businesses and stuff. Same, it's the same thing, it's the same mindset, it's the same education, it's the same disciplines for any business. Football's not for everybody, and football's gonna end for 99 out of 100 of you. And even if you're the greatest in the world, it's gonna end by the time you're 35, 30 on average. You know? So, how can you not prepare in other ways? But you first thing you have to do is stop BSing yourself and really lay out a plan of who you want to be, what's your goal, and now let's take steps for your goal, and now let's really attack it on a on a day-to-day minute basis. And I try to show them ride ride with me for the next 30 days and watch what we are as a team.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Yeah, well, I have had a pleasure of having you here. Thank you so much for sharing all this information. And like I said, we're close on time. So, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give you the opportunity to share whatever you want um the next two minutes uh before we wrap it up. But again, if you'd like to reach out, please remember the link is down below. And also click on his name on the podcast, it'll drive you right to his website. So I'm gonna let you wrap it up the last two minutes, share whatever you want to share, and uh yeah.

Accountability, Reality Checks, And Goal Setting

SPEAKER_00 29:39

Well, thank you. Um, I'd like to say you don't have to play uh uh football, and that's uh uh but the the same rules apply. Um teamwork, focus, you're gonna have to work hard and you're gonna have to get better at everything. Uh as a parent in today's world, tough deal. It's uh it's a very tough environment. So you better make a mentally tough, emotionally stable young person. Okay. And if you're afraid and don't want to touch it or don't know how to get in that area to touch those topics and to deal with that, that's where someone like myself comes in. And now I'm doing uh privates for purely academic kids because they're they're you know, they're they're gonna get into the schools. Their their parents are high influential people that that want a leader and that are smart enough to know, hey, he's been coddled and he's gotta get tougher. So that doesn't mean physically, no, it means here. There's a difference from when a nanny's taking care of you and you're taking care of yourself. I get these kids that college, four-point boom, Princeton, Cornell, and their and their son or daughters in the fetal position, and they've been just a a savage throughout high school. They were a savage because your your your mom or your dad or both parents were your concierge. Now you've set your little bird free with no boundaries, and so it's like being being a caged bird, but now all of a sudden you remove the cage, you're gonna go out there and birds are gonna be chasing you. You're fighting for your life, and they can't handle that. I just have one like that. Um, I have fencers, like different socioeconomic levels, but they haven't been uh they have been built that mental and physical. I'm I'm emotionally focused. I get it. I understand how this works, I understand how they go together. Okay, and I know how to make a right choice. I know how to break down a choice, look at it from 30,000 feet above, and just get better and better. And you can't get good at making choices if your parents don't let you make choices and don't let you fail to see the outcome of that choice. So I'll talk to anybody and um try to help them out. You know, it's kind of setting up to be this is uh my legacy stuff of uh how many champion-minded uh people I can get with this philosophy and attitude of it's a choice, it's a choice to do the right thing, it's a choice to do good, it's a it's a choice to help others, it's a choice how I think, you know, and so and how can people reach you? Appreciate you having me here.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

Excuse me. How how can people reach you?

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Uh you can reach me at info at championslifestyle.com, and that's champions with an S. So info at championslifestyle.com and just introduce yourself and just kind of tell me your situation and and or your uh child's information, and we can talk and I hope you out where I can and tell you what's what's best for them.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

Well, thank you so much for being with us today. I really appreciate you and everything that you're doing. And and like I said, I've seen Coach Don's work firsthand, and it is it is night and day when you see these players, uh, not even halfway through the season. I mean, you can see it within the first couple of weeks, and then when we get to the end of the season, it's just it's just extraordinary. So um, thank you so much for being with us.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

I appreciate it. Thanks so much for having me.

Final Advice For Parents And Non-Athletes

SPEAKER_01 33:55

All right, you guys, please uh remember to reach out to Coach John. Um, I really hope you do. And if you want to leave comments or questions, please do. You can either leave them on the Coach Mickey and Friends, and this will also be up on the fourth in one mindset. So, which whatever program you're coming through, um I know he would love to hear from you. If you can't reach out to him, you can come through me and I'll make sure that he receives each and every one of these questions or comments or something that you would like to uh ask or get in touch with him. Uh, thank you so much for being with me. And I look forward to seeing all of you. Remember, uh, the most courageous thing you can do is be yourself, get out there and start strong and finish strong, and thus dominate everything in between. I'm Coach Mickey. Let's go.