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Loud & Clear with Tashara Parker
You can own your story, and Tashara Parker has done the work to show you how.
The Loud & Clear Show with Tashara Parker amplifies bold voices and powerful stories, offering authentic conversations that inspire you to own your truth and live unapologetically. Hosted by 5X Emmy Award-winning journalist Tashara Parker, this show dives into cultural milestones, personal growth, and breaking barriers with a mission to empower underrepresented voices. Tune in for life lessons, meaningful dialogue, and the tools to step into your power.
Loud & Clear with Tashara Parker
Brandon Frame on Rewriting Narratives, Empowering Black Men, and Building Lasting Impact with The Black Man Can
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What if the narratives surrounding Black men were rewritten to reflect their true potential and achievements? This episode promises to reshape your perspective as we celebrate the incredible journey of "The Black Man Can," an organization dedicated to breaking stereotypes and fostering positive representation. Our discussion with founder and visionary, Brandon Frame, reveals how a significant grant from Chick-fil-A is set to amplify their outreach in North Texas. Explore how this initiative, which began as a simple blog, has transformed into a powerful nonprofit organization committed to creating spaces where Black men can share their stories and see positive images of themselves, much like supportive networks among Black women.
Learn the critical importance of social-emotional learning in the development of Black men and boys. Black men and boys need community support and positive representation to thrive. The episode highlights the importance of mentorship and social emotional learning in shifting societal narratives and encouraging Black males to pursue diverse aspirations.
• Discussing the stereotypes faced by Black men
• Emphasizing the power of mentorship in shaping futures
• Celebrating the 15-year journey of The Black Man Can
• Exploring the importance of community and social emotional learning
• Outlining steps for fostering the next generation’s success
• Encouraging critical reflection through journaling and storytelling
• Inspiring growth for Black men in entrepreneurship and leadership
• Advocating for positive representation in media and society
• Celebrating the collective impact of Black men supporting each other
Entrepreneurship and personal growth take center stage as we explore strategies for success in business and beyond. . As we look toward the future, we invite you to connect with The Black Man Can online and join their mission to forge pathways and opportunities for Black men and boys, celebrating the positive impact they have on the world.
About Loud & Clear Show with Tashara Parker:
Loud & Clear with Tashara Parker is more than a talk show—it’s a new era of bold storytelling where authenticity, truth, and representation take center stage. Hosted by 5X Emmy-winning journalist Tashara Parker, this groundbreaking show amplifies voices and stories that often go unheard, diving into the real issues that inspire change and drive meaningful conversations.
With her signature warmth and unapologetic approach, Tashara steps into a new role, bringing you raw, unfiltered discussions that challenge norms and elevate perspectives. Whether it's exploring personal triumphs, community advocacy, or pressing societal topics, Loud & Clear creates a space for honest, impactful dialogue.
Tune in each week to join the movement, stay inspired, and celebrate the power of showing up loud and proud.
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Breaking Stereotypes
Speaker 1How do you approach breaking stereotypes about black men in your work ?
Speaker 2Just people loving to come to just the Instagram page alone to be like . Look at how black men are showing up as fathers look at how they're showing up as business owners . Look how they're showing up as husbands . I think it's a beautiful thing , and so all of that is really to combat the stereotypes that we do see .
Speaker 1What role do you think it plays in shifting the narrative for boys and men of color when it comes to having mentors ?
Speaker 2Somebody mentored me . It took them 20 . It took me 10 . It might not have felt like 10 to me .
Speaker 1That's just how we might feel . In the Miss Tashara Parker , you could just be your whole self . I knew that I wanted to be something to have impact . You actually testified before the Texas Senate . We just want to exist . Representation matters . You can make a difference every single day . Show up authentically , loud and proud , as the person that you truly are . We're still having a conversation . Oh my God , I'm gonna get emotional . Aw , the internet favorite Kaizen Appreciate you showing up as your natural self .
Speaker 2This is a good question , Tasha .
Speaker 1Thanks for bringing it up . Nobody ever brings up up . You're pretty good at this . We have a lot more coming up . I wanted to see an action we're so happy to have you on loud and clear . So okay , we're gonna talk about black man , can ?
Speaker 1but doc , I gotta start off really with some amazing dope news and by the time people hear this , it's gonna be announced in all the places . Hopefully by then , okay , or otherwise this part gonna be cut from the going to hopefully keep it in , okay . So , doc , so tell folks the reason that you were in the city in Dallas today , right , and what happened to your surprise today .
Speaker 2To my surprise , today I put together one of our programs my first tie we are . We were told that we were a finalist for an amazing grant from Chick-fil-A and so they had to put together this whole program so they could see the work yeah .
Speaker 1Thus decide if we were going to win .
Speaker 2Selected to receive the grant , but I had already won and this was a whole setup for them to surprise me with the grant .
Speaker 1I'm going to throw in some sound effects right here . Okay , I love that . Congratulations , thank you so much which means surprise me , I'm gonna throw in some sound effects right here . Okay , I love that . Congratulations , thank you so much , which means you're going to be doing a lot more work in north texas .
Speaker 2Yes , and I'm excited about that . I'm I love north texas . I'm a season ticket holder to the dallas cowboys oh , now you ain't say that now so okay , you ain't here all the time .
Speaker 1So , uh , you want to pass them tickets over every now and again , just saying that's awesome man . So , yeah , man , so yeah , so I'm excited .
Speaker 2We've done some work here with organizations like Big Thought and some others in the past , so really excited to be able to deepen our work in North Texas which allows us to continue to just scale our work across the country and the people know Big Thought .
Speaker 1So you shot out some names that we definitely know around here and we certainly know Chick-fil-A and Chick-fil-A . I'm just going to say let me say your name , right , chick-fil-a . Okay , look , if you ever want to sponsor something , hello somebody . I'm going to just throw that out there . But I do want to talk about all the amazing work that you're doing , because , as we were starting , you were talking about how having all these different streams of the work that you're doing can hopefully elevate you in ways that will make you more appealing to people that want to invest in the work that you're doing for different reasons . So I do want you to talk about Black man Can first , and then we'll talk about the different ways that you have used Black man Can to do all the work that you want to do in a lot of different avenues .
Speaker 2Yeah , absolutely the Black man Can . So in April of 2025 will be 15 years . So I started the Black man Can . In April of 2025 will be 15 years so whoa sorry the black man can in April of 2010 . Okay as a blog . So I think for the people watching , you get an idea and just follow through on it . I had an idea quote I live by is once you make an observation , you have an obligation .
Speaker 2I made an observation that black men and boys need to see positive images themselves and have an obligation . I made an observation that black men and boys need to see positive images of themselves and have their stories told . I just started a blog and even the story there is when , in 2010 , theblackmancancom wasn't even available . What was available was theblackmancanorg . This is just an example of ordered steps . Because God knew then that it was going to become a non-profit . I just wanted to start a blog . If anybody wants to start a blog . You're not looking to make a org , you want a com . But in 2010 , God knew we would be a nonprofit 15 years later and doing the work that we're doing . So org and com became available . But again , we just started a blog and grown it into a nonprofit to impact black men and boys across the world .
Speaker 1And it's just been a wonderful journey over the last what's supposed to be 15 years .
Speaker 2What have you learned over the last 15 years with the work that you have done by way of the black man canon , its impact ? I've learned one that black men and boys need these spaces . I think we often don't . I don't know if necessarily we don't think we need them , but they're not necessarily as often curated because we're so focused on the next task , focused on getting things done , we don't really stop and smell the roses . I love watching how black women create community . I love watching how black women get together to talk and build .
Speaker 1And .
Speaker 2I think sometimes as men , we don't stop and think and do that as much until it's done and then , when it's done , it's like man , I needed this space . This was therapy for me . We can share the promising practices from what happens in our relationships , in romantic relationships , professional relationships , skills . We can share those promising practices . We don't have to be on an island by ourselves , we don't have to suffer in silence . But you only realize that once you're in community with other men and then you're sharing and you're like , oh wow , you're going through that too .
Developing Social Emotional Skills for Men
Speaker 2Um , one of my favorite stories that I love to share about the black man can is we were doing like a dinner do dinners in different parts of the country and had a man who was there . So they're curated , curated , and so we do put questions out there aside from you know , just the banter and everything . But then it's like curated questions to really create a really safe space . And one of those questions always will be what's something you're going through right now that somebody might be able to help you with ? Because you just don't know who's in the room and you don't know what people are going through , and one man .
Speaker 2He was like I'm a new dad , I'm the first in my friend group to have kids and my wife is the doctor says she's able to have sex again , but she's not with it and I'm struggling .
Speaker 1I don't know what to do . Right , and so these are different things that have to do with postpartum which that's a whole other conversation in terms of men learning things like that . Oh , I didn't have some conversations about that , but we can talk about it .
Speaker 2That's another thing for us to learn what that ?
Speaker 2looks like and how to support yeah but in that room a man said you know , I have three kids , I know exactly what you're going through , and then shared with him like here's some things that I think you should think about and do . And then we also had a little group chat from just that one dinner and then , watching the group chat and the follow-up , the guy mentioned he said I did everything you told me and we're good Right . Just that opportunity to have dinner and creating that space , we might have saved a marriage .
Speaker 1But I also love that you talked about the impact after the fact . Y'all checked back in . Yes , the impact after the fact . Y'all check back in yes , to see , hey , now you got a little knowledge , some tidbits here , when you came this time . How are you doing now ? Yeah , and that's part of the process that people don't understand when it comes to business and being able to show the impact that you've been able to you know , uh , do through through your organization and the work that you guys are doing .
Speaker 1one of the things that you mentioned is , um , by way of the events and things that you have put on around the country . You talked about having the skills . Like , some of the men that have been a part of this didn't know that they didn't have what they didn't have before they were in that room , right , so , being able to acquire those skills , I learned from a leading psychologist on another show that I actually listened to frequently , and that leading psychologist it was a and he mentioned not just for black men or men in general , but what he mentioned was that people want to do better if they have the tools to do better . And he was just saying , when it comes from a standpoint of being able to look past someone's situation or the way that someone has treated you , it's not because they don't want to treat you better , it's just that they don't know if they have the tools .
Speaker 2Absolutely .
Speaker 1And so , when you talk about putting on these events and providing , say , the proverbial tools for men to be able to release and have these conversations , what have you learned throughout that process and being in these rooms with these men sharing these stories ?
Speaker 2So , being like my focus in terms of my research , my work is around social emotional learning , and so one thing I've learned is how , as kids , our social emotional development especially as boys is not necessarily prioritized . And when it's not prioritized , what it ? What that looks like is a lack of language development to be able to express yourself and talk about the things that you need and that you want , and when you create these spaces , it's allowing a space for social emotional skills to be developed so that they can have conversations with themselves , having conversations with their partners , have conversations with their friends , and that allows everybody to get better , because while in our schools we we prioritize academics and it's very important , right ? You know , that's what we test .
Speaker 2That's another thing you know , we prioritize what we test .
Speaker 1Correct .
Speaker 2We test for academics Everybody can relate to or if we go back to high school or even middle school . If I say you know , tell me how you were doing academically . What are your strengths , challenges and needs ?
Speaker 1Right .
Speaker 2You'd probably be able to give me some sort of response to talk about . I'm good at this , not good at that . I need help in here . If I said how are you doing social emotionally ? What are your strengths , challenges , needs , that's a little bit of a harder question to ask , but our kids deserve the opportunity to do that , because when they don't , this is what it looks like when you're an adult and you don't have the language to be able to have the conversations and to express yourself , and then that's not where we need the world to be right , that's not where we need our men to be , and in order for our men to be , better is looking at how we're developing social-emotional skills at an early age and then continuing that you know through middle school , high school and even as an adult .
Speaker 1So having those tools out the toolbox and being able to provide those at an earlier age so that we can have these conversations as adults and , as in your case , adult males , black males , very , very good . How is your background as a Morehouse grad ? We love an HBCU grad over here . As a Morehouse graduate , influence your approach to leadership and mentorship , oh .
Speaker 2Every black male , young black male in high school should apply to Morehouse .
Speaker 1Come on .
Speaker 2Every HBCU is outstanding . Got love for all the HBCUs , but only one HBCU is designed for black male development . Come on Because other ones are co-ed . It's just what it is . So it's like no , this is just about .
Speaker 1You know , some people are going to be like ah , I know , I know , that's OK , but Now , this is just about you know , some people are going to be like I know , I know that's okay , but it's .
Speaker 2But it's true . Yeah , you know , um and so . And then even the co-ed ones , they're overwhelmingly women , right ? So , um , morehouse , we have a saying . We have a few sayings at Morehouse . One is you don't go through mother Morehouse , you let mother Morehouse go through you , right and so . So that's embodying what the spirit of Morehouse is . Heavy is the head that wears the crown , but you also learn that the crown continues to rise . You actually never grow tall enough to wear it . Every man and woman was put on this earth to do something unique and something distinctive . If he or she does not do it , it will never be done .
Speaker 1Come on .
Speaker 2These are things that you're instilled in Morehouse from the moment you set foot on campus and then it's cultivated through classes , through the experiences , through building with your brothers , and you come out on the other side , a young man that's ready to take on the world as a black man , and then think about how you're going to carry that as like almost the gospel of what you've learned , and carry that with you as you move forward , whatever that career trajectory may take you .
Speaker 1Can you talk about social emotional learning ? I hate to backtrack just a little bit . I want to make sure that we get this though Social emotional learning and how it addresses the unique challenges I would say it is of boys of color and what they face in education .
Speaker 2Social , emotional learning is the process by which students and adults develop the skills , attitudes and values to be able to process their emotions . Cognitive learning forming relationships , and so , when that is prioritized , you are able to develop the language to be able to do that , to want to learn effectively , to build relationships . There's a lot of things that are certain in life . There's three . There's . There's a lot of things that are certain in life . Some of those things that are certain in life are you're going to always have to learn new things every , every day . There's something you're going to deal with mental health challenges . It's inevitable . We just the world we live in is crazy yeah , so you're going to deal with mental
Speaker 2health challenges , um , and then you're going to have conflict with other people and you're going to have some conflict within yourself .
Speaker 2How do you navigate those three things is the development of your social emotional skills , and so that's why it's so important for young men to develop them all of us , but definitely young men because if you don't , when you hit that roadblock to be able to have conflict with others or within yourself , you can't manage that .
Speaker 2If you can't work through learning new things because you haven't really developed your social emotional skills , life is going to get really challenging , it's going to get really hard , and then , when you hit the mental health challenges that are going to come at some point in life because of the various things that happen in life , you have to navigate that through social emotional skill development . And so if you don't have them , or you haven't worked on them or practiced them , then it's going to make life a little bit harder and people are going to experience it . One of the things I always like to say when we think about just relationships between men and women right , every woman that I know can talk about a story where like , oh , yeah , like , when you start digging into social , like , yeah , I know a guy , absolutely .
Speaker 1Well , I worked with him , I dated him .
Speaker 2It's like yeah if he had been able to work on that more . I think .
Speaker 1We could have worked .
Speaker 2Possibly we could have worked on these different things right . And then violence right , which is horrible . When you look at school shootings , almost I think 99% of the school shootings have been done by males , right Albeit , not black males , but still males . So there's a continuum there of thinking about what are we doing for our boys , just period . But then , specifically to your point , thinking about our young men , because even with that , black women can talk about violent episodes that they may have had with men . And if you dig deep into where that violent episode may have started , it's usually conflict with themselves , conflict with other people , not necessarily being able to emote and tell and talk about their emotions , and so we have to prioritize that for the betterment of our community yeah , because sometimes you don't have the language , as you mentioned mentioned , to be able to express whatever that is that you're feeling .
Speaker 1Okay , uh , define , redefine the world has become a staple for young men . What key lessons do you hope readers take away from it ?
Speaker 2That's a great question , because the journal came out in 2013 and so it is now 2024 . So we're actually in the process of revamping that to fit Gen Z , gen Alpha , because they maneuver the world a lot different than when the journal was written . But one thing is to have a place to be able to do written reflection and to set goals . We know that we can speak about things , but when we write them down it's more powerful , like even now with the generation . Now I watch kids . They'll take pictures of things . I'm like you're not going back to that picture . You ain't going back to that picture Right .
Speaker 2So , when it comes to goals and dreams , so we need to write it down . So here's this journal that allows for you to think through various topics and write down your goals , write down your dreams and also reflect do written reflection on what you're dealing with , right ?
Speaker 2I love going back to my past journalism being like , oh wow , that's what I was thinking at that moment when this one thing happened or this celebration of something right , and so , going back , you're able to reflect on that and build . It's like almost writing your own memoir without even knowing that you're doing that , and so creating a space for men to write down and think about their emotions and their feelings through written reflection is super powerful . And it's creating a space because I created it , because when I was , I started journaling when I was in the fifth grade .
Speaker 1And .
Speaker 2I saw how therapeutic it was for me and that's why I even created it , so that we can create that same tool that allows for men and boys to be successful . But one way to do that is through written reflection .
Speaker 1Yeah , my therapist don't play about writing that journal . And she wants , my therapist , wants you to remember how you were feeling in that moment Good , bad in between , whatever it was . Wants you to be able to reflect on that a year from now , to see where you are , regardless of what happened in the past , but you can remember how it made you feel in that moment .
Speaker 1So that's good stuff . And I also think that as storytellers , as writers , we have agency to make sure that we're continuing to pass down those stories to the next generation . Because I think oftentimes , especially when we look in the world that we are in right now , with the erasure of a lot of our history and a lot of the stories , it is very important that we continue to write that stuff down because , like you say , you can take a picture and certainly those pictures will be part of the archives at some point as far as history is concerned .
Speaker 1But , at the same token , you want to make sure that you're writing that , because writing is forever . They can always pick up that journal , they can always look back in that journal . They can always see how they felt in 2024 as we transition to this new era of a political spear that we're all living in and through right now . So thank you for mentioning that . How do you approach breaking stereotypes about black men in your work ?
Speaker 2Oh , that's , that is the catalyst . Mk Asante is one of my favorite scholars and the quote that I live by is once you make an observation , you have an obligation , and so that's what it comes down to , the stereotypes , like I see the things that are said about us , I see how we are perpetuated in the media , from movies to TV to the news , and so the black man can , that's the sentence . The Black man Can is a full-stop sentence . The programs , the content is all to show how we truly are showing up in the world .
Speaker 2I think I have so many direct messages and let alone , you can just read in the comments just people loving to come to just the Instagram page alone to be like , wow , look at , look at , look at how black men are showing up as fathers , because now they're showing up as business owners , like how they're showing up as husbands . Um , I think it's a beautiful thing , and so all of that is really to combat the stereotypes that we do see , because now we're seeing more positive images , we're amplifying just the everyday brother who's showing up every day for work , the everyday brother who's showing up as a husband , everyday brother who's showing up as a father and just as a brother and just a human right I think it allows for us to just humanize black men and how we just show up in the world and I
Mentorship Impact on Narrative Shift
Speaker 2look forward .
Speaker 2Every day I'm I scour the internet . I usually take at least an hour a day to just find content Positive content , because it's just out there , right there's so many brothers doing amazing things and being able to put all that in one place , right ? If you go to the Black Men Can Instagram page , you go to blackmencancom , you can just scroll and you're like .
Speaker 1I know brothers just like that , and even on the website , I love that it still has that blog-like feel . There's two websites the foundation page , of course , but also on the I believe it's the com , if I'm not mistaken it still feels like a blog and a news site , media site , where you can still go and click through the different stories that you guys have compartmentalized on your website . So I absolutely love that you're sharing that by way of the Instagram page , but also through a medium that so many people have access to , whether or not they're on Instagram or not . You mentioned the Black man Can period full stop . So were you very intentional about how you created the logo and you and your team ?
Speaker 2So that has been a journey right . So the Black man Can started as a blog . So one quick thing we're planning a 15-year celebration , All right , and it's going to be a museum-style event that you come to and one of the exhibits , if you will , will be the logo .
Speaker 2And so in 2010 , it was a New York Times font Because when I started it , it was a blog . Yeah , absolutely . So that's what it is Black man Can . It looks like New York Times font because we're a blog . Then , in 2017 , we transitioned to more like I don't know , maybe it's like more like an Afrofuture kind of looks like Black Panther-ish type of font , because we were prioritizing the nonprofit aspect of the Black man Can and growing that . And then came 2020 and thinking about we want to do merch , we're also a nonprofit um , we are um doing media right , so how does what's something that kind of fits all together ? And so then we found this font , which is called blacker um , and then , in creating that , I was like oh , the font is called Blacker , it is .
Speaker 1I love that .
Speaker 2And then it was like put the period right Because it's a full stop sentence and that also makes it a unique identifier . When you see it , you're like oh yeah , and that period does really stand out .
Speaker 1I love it , man . I love it , and I love that , through the museum component of what you're doing with the 15 year anniversary , that people be able to kind of relive some of that history , to even the folks who don't know about it . So that's cool stuff . I do want to ask you this when it comes to mentorship . I'd imagine , in the role that you're in , either a lot of people come to you for mentorship or maybe even unknowingly , you are mentoring people that are out there following the work that you're doing . What role do you think it plays in shifting the narrative for boys and men of color when we , when it comes to having mentors , I mean , mentors are essential .
Speaker 2I'm not sitting here talking to you without having , uh , dr Terrell Hill , uh , dean Kevin Booker , yeah , mr Irva Seabrook , coach Ken Smith I mean , I could go down the list right right of men who poured into me
Passing the Torch
Speaker 2Mentoring . The beauty of mentoring is it is what you need . If it took me 20 steps , I'm mentoring so that it takes that young man 10 steps .
Speaker 2Correct , because somebody mentored me it took them 20 , it took me 10 . It might not have felt like 10 to me , right , that's just how we might feel in the in the journey , but it took . It was less right , like I think about talking to my mentors and even some of the salaries that I've been able to make before I went full-time entrepreneurship . I saw that salary way before at an age way before he saw that salary right and just different things that I think was really powerful . But it's because I got that guidance , different things that happened in my life , because it's like , oh listen , I already made the mistakes .
Speaker 2I already made the mishaps . Do this , this , this and this , and you'll see the outcome . And I'm also somebody who , before I put my own razzle-dazzle on it , I'm going to do exactly as somebody told me how to do it Absolutely and then I'm like , okay , now I got it , Now I put my own little sprinkle my own little razzle dazzle on it and then I get to pass that along because my razzle dazzle might come , because I'm a millennial when the person who gave me it was a Gen X or a baby boomer , so it's based off their time right it and now I could pass that on , and then , when it's gen alpha , when it's gen z , they're putting their own razzle dazzle on it .
Speaker 2But now we're creating , um , we're breaking generational curses , we are creating legacy , uh , which is something that's really important . I think in some ways we may have in previous generations , like intergenerational mantle , passing hasn't been as good as it needs to be , and so , um , it's really important to me to make sure that that is not the case for me , and then all the people around me .
Speaker 1And I know we're talking about mentorship , but that's also the importance of storytelling .
Speaker 1Right To continue to pass those stories down to make sure that the next generation does not have to go the 20 steps , so to speak , that we had to take , when they can easily go I won't say easily , but they can take it down to 10 steps as opposed to going to 20 that we had to endure to get to where we are . Same thing , vice versa , with all the generations that passed down knowledge to us , because I think oftentimes folks forget that we're standing on the shoulders of giants that went through hell and hot water to make sure that we can do and say some of the things that we're doing .
Speaker 1And being on these platforms , so I truly recognize the importance of doing all of it . You mentioned entrepreneurship and you know , making sure that , as you continue to grow as an entrepreneur , that someone who's following in your footsteps don't have to endure maybe some of the mistakes , so to speak , that you did had to endure at the beginning as a new entrepreneur and stepping out on faith to do this whole journey . I do have to ask you and we talked a little bit about this off camera what are some of the steps that you would pass along to individuals that are becoming entrepreneurs , especially those who are moving away from corporate America , because you mentioned , like diversify , make sure you have different means of you know your business being able to be supported by companies or individuals or what have you , so give us some of that knowledge that you've been able to acquire .
Speaker 2I think the first is to know that the the growth starts with you . Yeah , um , and you have to first think about . Let me just share a little bit . Like my journey , I , if I tell the story , it comes with the gems .
Strategies for Business Growth and Success
Speaker 2I left a consulting role in October of 2023 . I took all of the fourth quarter of last year , traveled a little bit . I went to Bahamas , I went to the Dominican Republic , I went to Antigua , I went to Ghana , but also strategizing . So that's the key right there what's going to be the plan , what's the strategy ? Because I don't always like to say plan , because when you plan , god laughs so I was like what's the strategy here ?
Speaker 2so the black man came . We're going to establish these programs and we broke it up into four business units . Like we do juvenile justice work , so we do work in juvenile facilities . We do work in K through 12 education . We have e-commerce , we have media . Yeah , so here's our four buckets . These are also four buckets . We can get foundation dollars , we can get fee for service , we can raise money , we can get grants . All these things go into building that out and then from there it's getting to the work . Right , you have to make the time to . When you're starting out , you're going to work on your business and in your business at the same time .
Speaker 1Now it's very challenging , right ?
Speaker 2Because you want to be out building the relationships , raising the money , but you might also have to facilitate the actual program that you're raising money for . Yep , and so that is a part of the journey . Another thing I would say is that everything takes longer than it's supposed to .
Speaker 1Sure .
Speaker 2I think as millennials , we grasp that I'm not always 100% sure that the generations after us have grasped that as much . Go ahead .
Speaker 1You was trying to tread lightly with saying that .
Speaker 2I'm like , if you don't go ahead and say it because , yes , I find that there's a little bit more of a more instant gratification is what they want . Yeah , the the like I'm supposed to be successful tomorrow , whereas like we know , a world where we didn't have like we we've did . Mavis Beacon .
Speaker 1We did Oregon .
Speaker 2Trail right . The iPhone didn't come out . Iphone came out while I was in college . Like I to college with no iPhone . The word app didn't really exist . So I think , knowing that everything takes a little longer than it's supposed to , as well as quoting J Cole sometimes so close can seem so far , and all these emotions Another thing that I would say , too , is , along this journey , seek out some therapy , a therapist , and here's how I'll phrase it , though have you ever seen the show Billions ? No , all right . So Billions is a really cool show . Give it a chance , watch it .
Speaker 1Where is it Showtime ? Okay , but I ain't paying for another streaming service . I ain't going to even hire you . It might come to Netflix at some point . Send me your login .
Speaker 2But it's about an AD and a millionaire and they battle each other , but there are certain things to take away from it , and so the main character he has a coach , but it's a therapist , right . And so what I've learned in talking with high-performing individuals , both black and white , is that they have a therapist , and sometimes they don't always call it a therapist , but it is a therapist , it's a performance coach okay , right , and so thinking about somebody , because sometimes you talk to your therapist about personal things yeah you can unearth some trauma .
Speaker 2Yeah , you know , work through that and because you want to be a better person . Then there's like , oh , it's business absolutely like . I have a mental block because of whatever .
Speaker 2Yeah , I need to sit with my coach to navigate what is blocking me from seeing the bigger picture what is blocking me from making this vision come to fruition , and so that's been so powerful to have a person to just talk to , but not just about the personal things that I'm trying to become better at as a man . My business side too , because when you're working on your business and in your business , you're going to have blind spots because you're trying to do both things . And you only have so much capacity .
Speaker 1It's only , but so much .
Speaker 2And so that's been super helpful along the journey , which has allowed me to be like okay to take something that was making $50,000 , $60,000 a year to like . Now I do it full time , so I needed to make a lot more .
Speaker 1Right right .
Speaker 2And so how do I 10X that ?
Speaker 1right .
Speaker 2But having a performance coach , thinking about the strategy , sticking to the strategy , thinking through what are the things you do for free versus the things that are like okay , no , I need to get compensated in some way . Or how do you delineate between things that you do for free because you know it will lead to more things ?
Speaker 1because you've got to go . You know what I'm going to go do this keynote . I'm going to go show up to this event yeah , I'm gonna go fly to this conference .
Speaker 2Yeah right , and making that investment , because , oh , the people I need to meet with yeah , they there absolutely or I'm gonna run into somebody and then that's gonna turn into a new contract right so this . That's the that's , but that's the fun part . Yeah , but I think too I just want to interject this quickly .
Speaker 1I think people also need to understand how to pick and choose between some of those opportunities because , a lot of times everyone is so caught up in no , I need to get paid for this .
Speaker 1I need to get paid for my talent , I need to get paid for one , two , three , four , five , and sometimes me personally . I should be like now , you know , if I come there and do that with you , for you , it's not just going to be the audience that you have . You know that . My audience is also going to be a part of that and in return , you're going to make something off of me being part of said whatever Right , and I think , oftentimes for me , I think I understand that more than some of the individuals I have been around , only because they always want to get paid for a certain thing . I think I told you and share with you when we did an event for Essence that two weeks prior to Essence , right , I was on stage . That was BET , bet , excuse me , look , we did both . But yes .
Speaker 1Two weeks prior to doing the event at BET , I was a host for an event and I did that event for free . However , I knew that being a part of those conversations and in those rooms could potentially you never know but it could potentially lead to something you just never know . But I did the event because that was something I wanted to be a part of . That event is what led to me meeting you at BET .
Earning Credits for Success
Speaker 1So just want to say that there are always opportunities and you can pick and choose what you want to do , but be mindful of saying no , you got to pay me yeah because sometimes you never know who's in the room watching .
Speaker 1You do what you do that too .
Speaker 2And then there's the journey is so . It's so interesting because I think sometimes too , people want to do , people want to get paid . Simultaneously . The question also becomes if you're speaking at something that's a paid event , how much money do you bring ?
Speaker 1Oh , absolutely how much of your name is a draw . Yeah .
Speaker 2Right , Because I've heard numbers that people will give and I was like I'm not saying that , you're not worth that . However , I don't know if I'll make that much money .
Speaker 1You got to ask the questions .
Speaker 2If your name , will your name bring in that much revenue ? For me , it's just a thing to think about . I look at myself personally and I just continue to grow and continue to build . But I'm like the like say it was a music festival . I use it as an example . I'm probably going on at like 4 o'clock .
Speaker 1Yeah , right , yeah .
Speaker 2That's just kind of where I'm at , look , and I'm going to be at 2 .
Speaker 1I'm going to be before you even go . I'm at the 4 . And you know a lot of times I'm not going to no festivals .
Speaker 2I get there around like 6 , 7 o'clock , yeah , and nobody in the audience yet , right except , and so therefore , but then I'm going to , but I keep going , and next time I'll be at 8 o'clock , then I'll be the headliner .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , that's a great example .
Speaker 2You continue to work . To be that . I remember going to a festival and I went to this one festival . I went to it multiple times . The first time I went , the person that just performed was Timz . Yeah , whoa .
Speaker 1That same person is now like she would definitely be the headliner headline if she decided to accept that event you know who also performed at this .
Speaker 2One of this this festival was kyla tyler tyler , tyler the creator .
Speaker 1Yeah , tyler tyler , oh , tyler t-y-l-a . Yeah , south africa . Yeah , yes , yes , excuse me , she's yeah , this is before she .
Speaker 2This is before she dropped yeah , yeah right , and so that's like the beauty of the journey yeah and then you get to be like , oh yeah , well , now I cost yeah now I cost this because I also bring in yeah , when you put my name on there . Oh , I'm bringing in a hundred people , I'm bringing in a thousand people ten thousand people . I think those are things that to assess yeah as you're thinking about your rates and stuff and and also too , simultaneously with all that , you've got to set your price and shut up .
Speaker 1Absolutely .
Speaker 2Right and I think a lot of times .
Speaker 1And don't negotiate that if that's not something you want to do . Because when you negotiate that to something well below something you really wanted to charge , so to speak , and you get there and they're treating you like what they paid to have you there . Let's say , your rate is 10 , 15 , 20 , right , and you go down to 5,000 , they're going to treat you like you're a $5,000 host or presenter or whatever . The case may be right , and so I think you have to be willing to do certain things for certain price points , et cetera , certain prices point , certain price points , etc . But you also have to know your worth and know that when you step into a room , if it that's the situation , what that will command , right . So , um , yeah , I'm always thinking about margins too , right , it's ?
Speaker 2like all right , if I'm anything I do , what's , what's my general rule ? Like I think for me my general rule is a minimum . I'm trying to profit 20% to 30% . Okay , that's good If I know that everything I do , I'm generating 20% to 30% . Anything over that , that's awesome .
Speaker 1You're doing something .
Speaker 2Because some businesses don't even generate that on each ticket of something .
Speaker 1That's good feedback .
Speaker 2Thinking about what's your margin ticket of something right , that's good feedback . So thinking about what's your margin , so , like if you know that . So when you price it out , you're like , oh well , here's how much it costs to do the thing , whatever it is right , especially like with the Black Men , can there's times I might get booked as a speaker or a moderator , but also like we actually have programs where , like , I have to pay .
Speaker 2X amount of people to do something right , um , even for the buy me our media , like how much money we spend on media production this year , right , like , and they have people that they got to pay , right . So you start to look at something . You're like all right , here's the price , this is how much it costs right all right now .
Speaker 2That's now that might even be where you start to think about okay , where am I going to charge more on what line item ? Right , so that I can then , um , make the money that I need to make as profit plus pay everybody that needs to be , you know , part of it that's good stuff , good stuff .
Speaker 1I love that you mentioned a 20-30% , because folks can always use that , no matter what situation they're in , whether speaking , hosting a business , anything right , 20-30% , look at it that way , someone . As someone that is deeply involved in educational reform , what changes would you like to see ? Uh , to better support boys of color in schools ?
Speaker 2so one uh again . The prioritization of of social emotional development . Um , again , I think academics is important , but the average adult doesn't remember the pythagorean theorem . Um , but the social emotional skills is why you will be successful . When you get fired , it's usually for a social emotional skill that doesn't show up right when people break up , people get divorced , it's usually tied to like social emotional skills like when that's usually the , the , the common denominator there .
Speaker 2So prioritizing that for our young men is of the utmost importance . Another thing when I applied to grad school this is actually a question that they had to ask and I was like , oh , you know what I would love to see I think this is a take that people don't share as much , but I think it's fairly important is I would put credits . So , first of all , in high school , you earn credits right . Freshman year , sophomore year , that's how you graduate . College is the same thing . I think we should put credits into middle school . So , starting in sixth grade , you should earn credits one . When you're at that age you are .
Speaker 2Fairness is very real to middle schoolers right if you spend time with them , you're like like that's fair , that's not fair , right ? So if I tell you in sixth grade like you can't go to seventh grade unless you pass this class , this class , with at least a C , you can't go to seventh grade . So you must do this work . If you don't do the work , you can't go to seventh grade . It's a great look , that makes sense if .
Speaker 2I don't do this , I don't get that . But the bigger thing is is that what happens in sixth , seventh and and eighth grade ? If you're a great student or you're a not-so-great student , on average you move to the next grade . And so let's just say you're not the best student in terms of completing your work , and I say that you don't know this stuff , but you don't complete the work , you don't turn it in , so you do that . So then what happens ? You get to ninth grade . Ninth grade , you gotta earn credits , right , but for the last three years .
Speaker 2You could just move forward . So then what happens when you don't earn the credits ? You stay in ninth grade . We all can probably remember at least a few people who the yearbook came out when we were juniors and you're like now wait a minute . Wait a minute , we start . We was in ninth grade together but you're not in the 11th grade part of the yearbook anymore and you like , but what happened was they didn't earn the credits .
Speaker 2Yeah , so what happens when you just create a system mentally that like , in order to move through middle school , high school and college , you just earn credits ? So a take that I have is what would it look like with , especially even with our young men , to do that ? Because when it happens in ninth grade , you become ultimately you can become a 16 year old ninth grader , which technically means you wouldn't be able to graduate till you're 20 , but your friends left two years before . You're not seeing the end of high school , you're doing a GED , you're doing job corps , you know so , like . One of the takes that I have is creating credit bearing systems for middle school students so that they have the idea that they have to earn credits from sixth grade , seventh grade , eighth grade to see the following grade , which then I think would curb dropout rates because students would know , like I , have to earn credits and to get to that next level , to get to the next level .
Speaker 2That's getting us to more students just generally graduating from high school , specifically our boys . Because even when you look at that , when you look at even high school graduation rates , girls graduate at a higher rate than boys . They go to college . Girls graduate at a higher right . There's something there around girls and just wanting to get things done , like the concept of like , do this , do that , do this is interesting , but our boys aren't necessarily there . But I think you can cultivate that mentality starting in sixth grade and that's something that I would love to pilot .
Speaker 2I would love to get a huge grant .
Speaker 1You better put it in the atmosphere so they can know .
Speaker 2To do that . It's a longitudinal study because you have to start with sixth graders and you wouldn't know . Until they finish school Until they finish high school . So it's a really long period of time , but I think it could I've seen a longer study , so it can work . Yes , absolutely , I think that would be something that would be fascinating to to see for our young men .
Speaker 2But social , emotional development credit , earning credits um early on which are some good ones , absolutely , and then continuing to create the opportunities for positive role models and for them to see black men who look like them . That's one of the , the catalyst for the black man can right if you go to a lot of schools here in , even in texas , no matter where you go , you ask some young men what you want to be .
Speaker 2Right , they might say I want to be an nfl player I want to be a basketball player , I want to be a rapper , right um , and I'm never too upset about that one because I know what they watch . So if you only see black men celebrated in pretty much those capacities , you might ideally only want to be that , because that's what you see being celebrated , what you see on television . So that's the thing . My issue is that when I meet boys who say I want to be a video game designer , I want to be a photographer , I want to be a video game designer , I want to be a photographer , I want to be a host of something right , they don't say with as much confidence , sure , as the boy who yeah wants to be an athlete because they haven't seen it as much .
Speaker 2So what happens when that boy also says , with the same confidence like I'm going to the league ? You've heard of young boy I'm going to the league .
Speaker 2What do you ? What do you mean ? All right , right , no , I'm gonna be a doctor , I'm gonna be , um , a , uh , pastor , I'm gonna be a tv host , I'm gonna be a sports anchor , I'm gonna and say , with the same confidence , and so that comes from creating spaces for them to see and be around uh , men who are doing those things that look like them absolutely , and when we do that . I think those three things and there's more we could talk about , but I think that would be some amazing outcomes , could lead to amazing outcomes for our young men .
Speaker 1If you can give me a one-liner about the vision and the legacy of the Black man Camp , what's that ?
Speaker 2The vision and legacy is to become a heritage brand , right Like when you talk about Urban League and NAACP and some of the other ones that really mean a lot to our community because of what they've done over the years .
Speaker 2I want the Black Men Can to be in the same vein . I want the Black . There's some really amazing organizations out there doing phenomenal work around black men and boys , and we've chronicled some of those and from social media to our website and I . The legacy of the Black man Can is to be a five to ten million dollar nonprofit where , every day , everybody that works there all they do is when they wake up , they're thinking about how can I improve the lives of black men and boys ? That I'm not sure truly exists ? We're like that's the only thing we think about , and even , and then even , when we're doing it . That means that we care about the lives of black women and girls because we're trying to improve the lives of black men and boys
Connecting Through the Black Man Can
Speaker 2.
Speaker 1I love that . How can people find you ?
Speaker 2how can people find me um ? Instagram is theblackmancanx . I don't know if we're rocking with X right now we're not , but go ahead , Okay yeah , actually , I only have a personal for X . We don't even have theblackmancan on X . Yeah , it's theblackmancan .
Speaker 1And a website .
Speaker 2Website wwwtheblackmancanorg . Wwwtheblackmancancom . We're kicking off a big fundraising campaign next year leading up to the 15th year . So we want people to support that and our programs and we are just creating pathways , opportunities and showcasing how black men and boys are showing up in the world , dr Brandon Frayne .
Speaker 1Thank you so much , you're welcome .
