S1: Ep 11: Losing faith & spiritual bypassing

In this episode I talk about losing faith - and wondering, 'what on earth am I doing' occasionally when we are active in our spiritual pursuits. I also talk a lot about spiritual bypassing, what it is and why this is relevant in the discussion of how we could land in a place where we reject spirituality. 

Here is the podcast / YT with Gabor Mate and Gabby Bernstein that I mention. 

I really hope you enjoy, relate - or that it provokes some food for thought?! Please leave me a review as it makes a big difference! Thanks so much. 

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Hey! I'm Rachel! I am a qualified Holistic Life Coach and Mind Body Practitioner, Embodiment Coach, Yoga 500hrs (plus lots more extra yoga quals). I'm also an award winning content creator and have 20 years' experience in digital. I'm a mum of 3 kids and I live in the Peak District - oh and I have ADHD and I am sober. My passion is helping midlife women turn meltdown into magic!

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Transcript

Rachel Brady's video recording-1: 0:01

Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about spirituality, high vibe living in the real world. I ask questions like, how do we connect to the magic? The spirit, the source, the universe, but with our feet firmly planted on the ground. How do we show up in a conscious way and harness that to make big, paradigm busting change in the day to day of our lives? I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three, yoga teacher and embodiment coach. This is the place where I'll be reflecting and exploring big, deep questions, all with a pinch of self deprecation, a few proper lols, and a lot of real life. Join me.

0:42

Good morning, everybody. Uh, well, it's a morning where I am. It's probably not a morning where you are. I'm just about to set off on a car journey, so good day to you, uh, wherever you are, or good evening. Um, I'm setting off on a car journey. It's very early in the morning, so it's actually my favourite time to record, and car journeys and dog walks seem to be my favourite time to record. I do like. multitasking, um, and I think, I was talking to someone about it the other day. I think that they, that these times get you into a certain state. I'm not sure what brain state it is. But, um, I don't, I don't think I'm alone in liking these times for thinking time. And I think and process really directly into the phone. And I think I said this on the last episode, I love to process as I create. So I, I, I do. I always have an idea about what I want to talk about or write about and then, and then it actually ends up being slightly different sometimes or just takes shape and I really like that. And from a logistical point of view, it's the only goddamn way I'm going to get this thing done. And it's really important to me to keep going with this project. Um, yeah, so I'm on my way to an appointment, I'm getting an MRI. I actually have a I have loads of MRIs because I have a pituitary tumor. It's benign, which I always quickly follow up with because people look aghast. Uh, that doesn't mean it doesn't come up with that, come with, out. It's early. It's own problems, it does. Um. But I am all good. And this one isn't for that. It's actually for my lower back. And I've had this problem for a few years. I think there's something going on there. So I've just thought, Oh, I'm going to get an MRI, but I'm okay. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. And I'm having my coffee and I meditated today. Oh my gosh. When I finished this, um, process, I'm only just learning about fading meditation, but when I finished, I'm going to have to have the teacher on here and talk to you guys about it. It's a twice a day meditation technique, two 20 minute sessions a day. So far so good. I'm on day three. Yeah. I'm going to share more about that when I've kind of. embodied it more and I've integrated it. So what I wanted to talk about today, not sure really, it wasn't anything definite, but I think, oh great, what a great intro. Don't know what I want to talk about today. No, what I want to talk about today is do you ever, Do you ever doubt your spirituality? Yeah? So do you ever have a crisis of faith, if you like? That makes it sound more religious, but let's not split hairs here, they are quite similar. Um, and yeah, I definitely have moments where I am not entirely sure that I'm not just kidding myself and I'm trying to escape life. So I think what prompted this as a subject today was I was just dashing out the house. I'd meditated. I'd just quickly got ready. I was, you know, one coffee down and getting another one to drive the car with, uh, not that I'm driving the car with coffee, but to drink on the way. That makes sense. And a friend of mine has a Substack, Alex actually, she's been on here and her, the title of her new Substack came up and it mentioned spiritual bypassing. I've not read it yet. So spiritual. Bypassing describes where you're going through something and instead of kind of dealing with it in a head on way, maybe utilizing western medicine or, you know, psychology or healing, trauma healing or, you know, talking therapies, whatever, a range of techniques and, you know, uh, that you just kind of go, you know, actually the divine is going to take care of it and I'm, I'm going to chant and I'm just going to be all good. Now. Now, that's not to say that chanting and those types of things don't have a place in there, in healing. They absolutely do. And actually I think spirituality can be more healing than a lot of western medicine things. It's so individual though, right? There was an excellent episode and I will try and find it and link to it below. And I always think, I always say, I'll link to it below and then never link to things. So sorry about that. And comment in the, in the comment section on any episode if you like, actually you did say you linked to something and you haven't linked to it. Sorry. I'll link to this. And it's an episode of Gabby Bernstein and Gabba Mattei talk about two awesome dudes. Uh, and they are talking about spiritual bypassing for trauma and it's a fantastic episode. And she says without the spiritual bypass, sorry, without the spirituality, she wouldn't have been able to get to the more, you know, more 3d, more regular healing. And I believe she used internal family system. It is a psychological approach as well. I've actually had quite a lot of internal family systems therapy myself, so I know quite a lot about it. And Gabor Mate says the other way round for him. So he says he used the healing tools that were out there first. and then was able to access spirituality. And so they talked about, especially Gavimato, was very much like, look, it's really important not to spiritually bypass trauma. And I think seeing the mention of spiritual bypassing, which is a fantastic subject, and I'm really trying to be conscious that I'm not in a spiritually bypassing place with my own Um, traumas. I nearly said small traumas there, but I try not to minimise things because trauma is trauma is trauma, right? Uh, with my own experiences and trauma because, and this is where it ties into the podcast. Because if we are spiritually bypassing, if we're like I'm gonna drink cacao to heal this abuse that's been in my life, you know, I'm gonna Do yoga and everything's gonna be all good because I'm healing my root chakra and that's where the abuse is stored. Like, great. I love that you're doing that. But what else are you doing? Are you seeing a therapist? Are you supported in your day to day life? You know, uh, have you spoken to your doctor? So, so it's like, are you It's the spiritual piece on its own that's not grounded in 3D. That's where That's spiritual bypassing. So it's like And I think this conversation is turning into more of what is spiritual bypassing, right? But I will link it back to how the conversation of, do you ever just lose faith? Because I feel like if we spiritually bypass our trauma and if we spiritually bypass our experiences, that I'm just going to go around and be a purely spiritual person and kind of not engage with the world that's right in front of us. Then I feel like actually you are at risk of losing your faith, because what will happen is, the world will just wake you up and slap you around the face one day and go, you are spiritually bypassing. And then you'll be like, yeah, fuck spirituality, it's, it's got me in denial of what's happening. Where the real beauty lies is with both. Right? So it's like, it's like It's like today. Let's use today as an example. Perfect example. That is perfect. It's almost like I planned it and I didn't. I don't do things like that. Um, so I'm going for an MRI, right? Normally it's for my brain situation, which is a pituitary tumour. And I can also tie this into the back problem I'm having. So, there's a big spiritual belief system around tumours. and any illness and dis ease in the body having a spiritual cause. Okay? So, pituitary tumours are seen as, you could argue, you know, in the work of Donna Hay and numerous other practitioners that I actually love, but I just don't put all my eggs in that basket. So, they would say a pituitary tumour is caused by, or could be caused by, third eye chakra blockage. And it could be caused by a disconnection to the divine and a suppression of what is spiritual and what you know to be true. Um, and, and a suppression of the third Irish chara also could mean that you aren't using your intuition spiritual or otherwise. Yeah. So it's, it could be said that, oh, if you went to a purely spiritual practitioner and said, what is causing my pituitary tumor or what is causing the pain in my lower back? They could say, this is a sacral chakra issue, you have suppressed sexuality, or you have other sacral chakra issues. You don't go with the flow, you're being too controlling. Let's let this person through. Um, and I don't dismiss that either. You know, when someone says to me, Oh my god, my hips are terrible, I've got really bad hips. I'm like, I just immediately think, Socal Chakra issues. But does that mean that I entirely treat it in that way? So I went down this route with my pituitary tumour and it wasn't wrong and it wasn't right. It was just me exploring. And I was like, I am going to come off the medication because it's very heavy medication. What am I even on this for? I was thinking what am I even on this for? I don't need to get pregnant anymore, which was the original reason why I took it because it, um, balanced out my overproduction of prolactin, which was causing my ovulations to not occur. So I was like, what am I even on this medication? Is it keeping the tumour size down? And I really just got sick of the fact that I was taking pills every day for what I thought could be seen as a spiritual problem. And so I spoke to my Reiki master, who actually is coming on here, and she's the most brilliant woman. Um, and we discussed it, and she, and a good spiritual practitioner will never tell you either way. Never. They'll just say, it's great that you're exploring this, or whatever, you know, keep leaning into your intuition, keep exploring, and they'll do some healing work on you. Um, and I do believe that having Reiki, and I need to have some more Reiki, um, will help my Pituitary Tumor and I do believe having healing and doing yoga which releases the stiffness around my sacral chakra and you know doing work around my third eye will help these maladies, these physical maladies that I have. However, if I got breast cancer tomorrow, would I treat it entirely with spiritual tools? No, I bloody wouldn't! I've got three children and I would absolutely. Go down a western medicine healing route. I think sometimes it, it is like, okay, let's look at both sides here. It's like depression, right? Let's heal this. Let's look at what is causing this in a spiritual way and in a very 3D way. Like you can do both. And I think if you're not careful, spiritual bypassing in that physical mode, in that physical sense can be dangerous, but also in a trauma sense can be really dangerous. And tying it into what I was originally supposed to talk. about losing faith. I think it can be a major cause of people losing faith. It's like when you put your faith into something entirely, that it's going to work. Let's take hypnobirthing for an example. My friend put her faith entirely into hypnobirthing and then had a baby and it hurt like hell and she was really traumatized and she was so angry with hypnobirthing and she lost all faith in it. She was like, fuck hypnobirthing. I'm really angry with them. I had the people that practice that and now you don't really. I have to throw the baby out of the bathwater. I hate that phrase, but I always have to say it. Um, you know, hypnobirthing has so many fantastic elements to it and I use some of them myself and I've done the hypnobirthing course twice. Did it take away pain in my labor? No, no, no it didn't. They were really hideous. It hurt so much. Um, and then there's a problem there that we think, oh, perhaps it's me, perhaps I'm doing it wrong. And so you, you fix, you kind of create a victim situation out of it and, and you blame yourself. Um, so you've got trademarks and, and you're on the electronic sandbox and you got half You've got this wheel of faith in yourself and that doesn't help anyone or anything. So you're going to lose your faith in the tool. But here's the thing, we, we incarnated on this earth right now and so what my practitioner, my Reiki master would say is like, and what other people in my life that are really valued what they say is like Reiki and spirituality will lead you to the right solution and if that's medication, it's medication. Everything comes from the earth, everything comes from spirituality, including medication, including healing. Should we rely less on those things and more, or should it be more of a balance? Absolutely! Like, I love that they're using sound healing in hospital wards and having incredible results. I love that they have Reiki in hospitals. You know, there can be both. There can be both. And like all good spirituality, you know, well, I don't want to be polarising good or bad spirituality, but like all, you know, what I think of as like common sense spirituality. So, what we will say is like the middle line is often the best, like walk the middle path. Like I often say to my son, like, it's, I try to steer away from anything that's like unilaterally this or unilaterally that, or like very polarizing views because life just ain't like that. Like we live in the gray, right? And so do you ever lose faith? Well, sometimes I think, God, am I really doing this? And I've spoke to my Reiki master again about this and we'll have a chat. I her about this, because when I was first getting Reikia tuned, I was like, whoa, what are we doing right now? Um, and she was like, absolutely. She was like her, she was telling me that her master has had moments years away from it and gone like, I've been this down for a bit, but you come back to it because it's your truth. And ultimately I feel like it happens more the other way around. I think people forget their faith and people lose their faith because they get too wrapped up in it. Up in the reti, the drama of life, they walk down the street forgetting that they are on a spinning orb. You know that that's like part of a, you know, infinite universe and that we are made of stardust. We forget that. And I think when we come back to the consciousness of our magic and the awareness of who we really are and what we really are, and then blend that with the reality of being on planet Earth and putting one foot in front of. Other onto solid ground and embracing what's in front of us and really living the life that we've been gifted this, this life that we've been gifted, then that's where the kind of sweet spot is. Um, and don't get me wrong, like people lose faith because they go through horrendous things, and that would probably happen to me too. Ironically, what would also probably happen is the first thing you'd do is pray. So it's like if one of your kids got sick and touch wood, that's not gonna happen. I even hate speaking things like that. So say something happens, uh, and, and the thing hasn't fully happened yet, but it's almost threatening to happen. That's when we pray, right? We want hope. We want hope. You know, non believers pray on aeroplanes during turbulent times, right? But then it's like when the thing happens, that's when we, that's when we lose hope. And that's when we lose faith, rather. And so it's like, I asked for help and you didn't give it to me. And now I'm shutting you down. And so that's what happens. I'm guessing, it's not happened to me, but I, and I completely understand why. And the reason for that is because we don't know what the greater plan is. And, and to even say that kind of hurts my head and my heart. Because I'm never going to be the person that says to somebody who's something really bad has happened to, Oh, it's part of the greater plan, you know? Um, because If somebody said that to you when something really bad happened to you, you'd want to kill them. Um, and no one wants to hear that, right? But that's why people lose faith because really devastating things, devastating, awful, dark things happen all the time. Uh, and then we're like, how could you do this? How could this be part of some kind of plan? It's fucked up and I'm out. And so that has never happened to me. But boy, if something like that did happen to me, I probably would. And I would just. I'm just a completely average human and I would probably lose faith too. And you see these amazing people that are like, it's only my faith that's pulled me through this. And I'm like, wow, now you have been tested and that is really, really amazing that you still have faith. So I'm just a very flawed, just like very average human going through life. Um, and, and I'm very privileged and I, I feel guilty almost every day because my life is relative. Easy and simple. And when I get really stressed and overwhelmed about little things, I have to check myself and go, and then you put the news on and you kind of go, fuck. Like we're really lucky and I want to talk about that actually,'cause that relates. So my son has been having some deep and heavy and kind of quite stressful conversations with me recently about things and he. He accuses me regularly of like, you don't know what's going on in the world. And I haven't really explained to him properly that I made a conscious choice to do that a few years ago. To step back from the drama of the world, but I actually feel like I've done that too much. And so now I'm trying to lean in more to what's happening in the world. Because I feel like I've been ignorant, actually. And so, there's a word, there's a term, I've forgotten it now, for being spiritually ignorant. But actually, you can be 3D ignorant too, and that is spiritual bypassing, also. And so, it's important, there's a lot of spiritual people that don't want to ever watch the news, and they do that in a conscious way, and I understand why. They don't want their vibration to be lowered by this mainstream media spinning carousel of bad news that they put out there to make you feel bad, to sensationalize how bad the world is when it isn't. It's not a correct, it's not a correct image of the world. It is, it's not that those individual things aren't happening, they are, but it's, if you watch that you'd be like, fuck this shit, this planet's fucked, it's so bad, it's, it's awful. That's not true. Like they don't balance it with a, with a, with a view of all the amazing things that happen in the world, the beautiful stories, the miracles. Um, and so that's why a lot of. If spiritual people are like, I'm not going to watch the mainstream media because it's going to, um, infect me with bad news and give me an incorrect perception, but by doing that and never knowing what's going on at all, you're kind of spiritually bypassing the experience of being a human. Um, and if you do that, you are at risk of eventually going full circle and realizing. You've become ungrounded in your spirituality and actually shutting it down. So there's a few things there that we've kind of talked about and they're all coming at different angles. Yeah, so I wanted to know, have you ever lost your spirituality and what caused it? And do you ever just have like little niggles and little doubts? Because I definitely do. I'm like, what, why am I, yeah, I'm like, why am I doing this? And then I'll look at a degree. at university and be like, okay, what, how can I be most helpful in this 3D world? And then I'll be like, I don't think I can go back to uni and do a master's in psychology or whatever it was that I was about to do last year. I nearly did a, I got a place and I nearly started, it was coming up to the starting point and I was like, fuck, there's, I've got major doubts here and it's because I know if I go into that academic environment. They won't have a balanced approach to things in terms of holistic, in terms of spiritual, in terms of the whole, the whole person approach. To me that includes spirituality. It's very much around rational, rigorously scientific, you know, measurement. Um, and, and, and I'm not really into that. Uh, I am into that, but not when it's all that you're doing. And so I, and I know people who've had that experience, I know. Massive practitioners, like, I don't know them personally, but people who've walked away from academia, people who've walked away from psychology and medicine and things like that for that exact reason. Uh, and so they get caught up in the power structures. That include things like Big Pharma, and so on and so on. Um, and so I'm really going off, I've gone off on so many different thought tangents, but I guess that's just what I do. Um, yeah, so it's very easy to lose your faith, right? It's very easy to lose your spirituality. And I think, ironically, what keeps us grounded in spirituality, and things like that, is real life. And Gabby Bernstein talks about this a lot, it's like, don't stop showing up in your real life. Don't save your spirituality. Take it into the office and be a really good person when someone else is an asshole. Like, try and really live your yoga, live your spirituality. And so that's what I'm really passionate about when I teach yoga and I'm trying to do more of it in my classes. And I've really, really nailed that this week. I started my new block of yoga teaching and I'm teaching in a different way. I have a 15 minute check in with people that come to build connection that is real, that is 3D, that is like, we are here, we are humans having a human experience, how are you doing? And then I also talk about the eight limb path and then I also We try and touch on a part of every single part of the eight limb path. So we talk about the yamas and the amas. So ahimsa, non harming. And I'm like, how can we bring non harming into our lives? Right? And so then for the rest of the day, when I'm an asshole, when I'm like being like, uh, with the kids, I'm like, wait, ahimsa, ahimsa. And so it really helps. Like, it's all right saying I'm a spiritual person. You know, watch the bloody Bikram Yoga documentary on Netflix, he was, I mean, he's a dangerous, dangerous man. Yet he is leading this worldwide movement in yoga. Um, there's a lot of charlatans out there and I think a lot of the most spiritual people are just good people that are walking around in the world being good with humble jobs and they haven't got a podcast and they haven't got, you know, they haven't, they don't, they're not performative, they're just doing their thing and so it's really important to remember that. Real anchored spirituality is probably quite quiet and it probably doesn't look for reward, right? And so I'll leave it there because I am approaching my, uh, place where I'm gonna get this MRI. Wish me luck! And, uh, yeah, hopefully the next episode will be a recording of a chat that I'm gonna have with my Reiki master. I cannot wait for you to meet her. She's one of my spiritual teachers and she's just adorable. And, uh, yeah, Very, very anchored and literally the perfect example of being conscious but grounded. And I have a lot to learn from her. And so, uh, look out for that episode. Okay, love, uh, come follow me at Rachel Brady yoga on Instagram. Oh, I never, I didn't mention my upcoming things. Like I say, I've got, um, yoga going on at the minute. I was doing well. I'm still doing block booking, but I know that people might wanna join mid sessions. So drop-ins are available for 10 pounds. And that's online and in person. And the other thing is my day retreats. There's one coming up this Sunday. Um, however, you might be listening to this six months down the line. I always have them running though. I'm going to do four a year, seasonal day retreats. I also have two residential retreats running. One is in Edale, right next to where I live. That's called the Wild Connection Retreat. It's going to be amazing. I might do a separate episode just about the retreats and kind of what I've gained from retreats. Uh, and that is It's about hiking, yoga, it's about, like, finding cool, kick ass, sober besties, sober friends, connection with other sober women in a fabulous, wild environment. And that is June 2nd to June 5th. And then we have the Embodied Queen Cornwall Retreat. This is about luxury. It's about how can we embody our queen, our goddess. And this is something I'm doing a lot of work around at the minute. That's the theme of my retreat on Saturday, on Sunday. My day retreat is Awaken the Inner Goddess. So the Cornwall Retreat is November 9th to November 15th. Um, it's going to be about embodiment. It's going to be about inner child work. It's going to be about being a goddamn queen. It's luxury. The accommodation is insane. Uh, again, we're going to do hikes. We've got a massage. We've got a wood fired hot tub, a private chef, private chef at both of them. Go and check it out. Please look into my retreats. It will up level your life so much. I have packed the payment plans. And do you know what? Do something selfish for yourself. Honestly, it's not selfish, is it? That's the thing. But please, it's been the biggest upgrade for me is like investing in things for my own sanity and my own self care. So I'm gonna leave it there because I'm at the hospital now. I love you. Bye. Bye