.png)
Conscious But Grounded
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about spirituality: high vibe living in the real world. I ask questions like: how do we connect to the magic, spirit, source, the universe - but with our feet firmly planted on the ground? How do we show up in a conscious way and harness that to make big paradigm-busting change in the day to day of our lives?
Conscious But Grounded
S1 Ep 20: Devotion over performance: what are you devoted to?
In this episode I talk about devotion - in particular as a householder and a mum of 3. How are we approaching our lives and the job of caring? Phew!
Connect to me below - freebies at my website and I hang out all the time at my Insta.
Hey! I'm Rachel! I am a qualified Holistic Life Coach and Mind Body Practitioner, Embodiment Coach, Yoga 500hrs (plus lots more extra yoga quals). I'm also an award winning content creator and have 20 years' experience in digital. I'm a mum of 3 kids and I live in the Peak District - oh and I have ADHD and I am sober. My passion is helping midlife women turn meltdown into magic!
Offerings:
My luxury retreat for midlife women! (free workshop in the pop up too)
Book a coaching taster spot with me half price
Goddess Codes Chakra Masterclass (GODDESS7 to get for £7)
Find me here:
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about spirituality, high vibe living in the real world. I ask questions like, how do we connect to the magic? The spirit, the source, the universe, but with our feet firmly planted on the ground. How do we show up in a conscious way and harness that to make big, paradigm busting change in the day to day of our lives? I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three, yoga teacher and embodiment coach. This is the place where I'll be reflecting and exploring big, deep questions, all with a pinch of self deprecation, a few proper lols, and a lot of real life. Join me.
Hi, welcome back to Conscious Book Grounded, another journey in the car, another, uh, yoga class to take. Um, and so I'm Rachel. If this is the first time you've listened. I'm a mom of three. Uh, the kids are now six, 12, and 14, and we live in the, like a renovated farmhouse in the PE district. I used to be a kind of mummy YouTuber lifestyle, kind of accidental, accidental lifestyle blogger, um, uh, and family food kind of blogger. And I kind of fell out of love with that. A little bit of that five years ago had a spot of depression, which turned into a diagnosis for DHD and I've been on a kind of spiritual healing journey ever since. And, uh, on a sober journey that is not linear. I'm. Having a big reset at the minute after drinking a couple of times recently. Nothing bad happened, but I just don't feel like it belongs in my life anymore. Um, and sometimes I'll dip my toe back in the water and then go, yeah, it still doesn't feel good, even though I was like tempted to do it again. And anyway, anyway, anyway, I digress a lot. That's me. This podcast is all about spirituality in the real world. Maybe I should have called it that. Uh, it's called conscious. But grounded, because grounded for me means like, I'm here, I'm present. I'm in the real world. I'm washing the dishes, I'm taking my kids to school, and I'm trying to be a better person. Uh, and that, that's the kind of conscious part of it. So keeping in touch with our spirituality whilst having our foot, feet. Firmly planted on the ground, I guess is what you could say. And then I try and record on the fly because otherwise I didn't think I would record. So I'm trying to do this podcast really, rather than as an act of ego, but it helps me process. And I think in the act of me doing that, uh, and talking about all the things that I'm kind of learning, uh, and trying to embody on this journey, maybe that I'll touch somebody else, uh, somebody else's heart or. Have an impact on them. Uh, I also interview people as part of this, um, podcast, but that has been quite slow to take off just because it's so difficult to pin people down and pin me down. And I've had to cancel a couple of times. But we do have some really good interviews coming up, so, um, keep your ears open for that. Uh, so today I thought, well, what can I talk about? And I just shared something on my Instagram. It was the Taurus New Moon yesterday. Uh, I actually thought it was the other day and I did a whole new Moon ritual. And pulled some tarots and then I realized, oh, it was actually yesterday. Nevermind. It's fine. Um, and I shared a post by the brilliant Instagram account, moon Omens. I was having a sip of my coffee there and it's sad. Something which I really like. So Taurus is a very grounded presence. Um, and the star sign is a very grounded, steady, stable force as well. And I. Feel like, uh, well, what I've heard people talk about, you know, astrologers, astrologers and so on, is that the minute it's like put down roots at the minute in the things that you really want to put down roots in. But if you're putting down roots in things that you aren't actually seeing as something for the rest of your life, whether it's relationships or career, um, or anything really, then, then now is the time to uproot. Like don't put roots down where you don't want to put roots down. Really what. Put roots down. And the message that I shared on Instagram today was tourist. The tourist new Moon invites us to come from a place of devotion rather than performance. And I really love that. Like the word devotion to me is so beautiful. It's um, it just talks, speaks to me of like unconditional love. It's very spiritual. And it really made me think about my love and devotion. To my family, even though they would be like, what? You're in a bad mood half the time, but like, that's just perimenopause. You know, I've really tried recently to come into more of a space of, I think I mentioned in the last episode, you know, you might have heard the phrase calmer yogi. So a calmer yogi is somebody that just does things purely for the act of devotion. And I mean, it's not very practical in today's world. It's, it's so expensive to live and so on. Uh, but. Karma Yogi, for example, I first heard the term army, my first ever yoga teacher training when there was someone there just helping out and that was, they were being a karma yogi. Um, I suppose it's to get good karma for one of a, you know, that's a very over oversimplification of the term karma. But, um, I think it made me think of the selfless acts that we do as mothers and also really leaning into the devotional act of love. Um, in the tiny gestures that we do, you know, school pickup, washing, the dishes that I mentioned before, they are important acts of love. And, you know, I don't wanna frame this as though, like right, well, women should just do everything and feel like we're, we should be grateful for doing it, of course not. Like there is also, of course, like a fair division of labor and there's nothing wrong with getting, helping. All of those things are part of this as well, like getting help in. I've got someone coming on Friday. I think we've decided now that she's just gonna come kind of ad hoc to help me because I felt like once a week was too much. Um, but then every now and then I am like, gosh, I wish she was there to help. And so that's part of my devotion to having a warm, comfortable, cozy, clean ish, tidy ish home in inviting, welcoming space, uh, for the kids yesterday in my, uh, advanced suit. Training that I do, which is where we study the yoga sutures, which is probably the most key yoga text. One of the things we talked about, we were talking about the Yama and the Yama, and so the Yama and the Yama are the first, are the the first and second of the eight limbs of yoga, and they talk about ways that we can treat other people, you know, the rules for treating other people and the rules for how we treat ourself. And we talked about the fact that there's actually two. Uh, yoga sutures. There's only one for each Yama and Nema, but there's two for the one sat for the ni yama Cher. Is it a Yama or Nira? It doesn't matter which it is. Um, so it's how we treat ourselves. So, and Cher is cleanliness and there's two yoga sutures written about this, which talk, which gives an indication of how important spiritual, you know, and physical and homely cleanliness is and how it really is a spiritual act. And we were talking about this in the group and it really speaks. To my soul because even though I was a disgusting teenager and really an appallingly, messy, gross, like untidy student, you know, our house was appalling. Uh, and then every now and then we'd just bliss and it'd be lovely. And then we'd be like, we should live like this all the time. And then it just like went to shit again, like within two days. Um, but you learn, you learn these things. Like we look at our kids, especially the teenagers, and we're like, oh my God, it's so disgusting in here, da da. So frustrating, blah, blah, blah. And I have to remind myself, look, you were an absolute shit show, so don't expect them to be any different. You know, because you have, the only way to learn is to get out into the world and live on your own and, and have no one picking up after you up right. And no one cooking your meals and no one filling. With food. No one does your washing, and that is the only way to learn is to have to do it yourself. Um, and so when we were talking about the importance of socher, uh, cleanliness, you know, cleanliness of. Our homes of our bodies, of our minds, of our emotions. It's really spoke to me about, um, yeah, God, it really is a spiritual act. It really is. Um, to be a carer, you know, the carers of the world are the most important people of all, because without the carers. Like when I've had this discussion with my mom, we've had this discussion a lot because I've really like the struggle of my life and that's why I thought it's a good thing to talk about today.'cause it's very much a part of my story has been how can I be a present homemaker and mother. Um, you know, a house, a householder, a yoga householder. How can I be a householder and live my purpose? And like I'm, I'm still working on that. Um, and now the kids are getting a bit older. It's like, okay, I think now I can step up what I'm doing a bit more. Um, and it's like the phrase that we started with at the start of this, and what I'm gonna call this podcast is devotion. Like instead of performance, so. Let's think about the word performance as an antithesis to the word devotion. So a performance is like, we do the thing'cause we've gotta do the thing. And we also probably, we might be doing it for an ulterior motive, like praise, or we might be doing it for like, um, almost to like, and this is true, this is making me think now. So when I have my YouTube channel, I used to say to my viewers it's like, it really helps me actually filming this clean, you know, a day of cleaning or a day in the life I. Love doing those videos in my a DH brain, D brain, it would give me dopamine recording it thinking, uh, I mean there's a level of this, there is a performative element there, but it, it doesn't really matter'cause it helped me get the job done and I'm not judging myself harshly for that. Um, but it made me like believe it absolutely for that. Doing photographing and recording my family food for 10 years. Absolutely. We ate. We ate. So. Many different dishes. I don't think I ever put the same thing on the table twice, hardly. Um, and there was a performative element there, but also it was a devotion and it was an act of devotion towards my career and my followers, I guess on my viewers and and my family. But it's like going through the motion almost, if it's like a paid job as well, which I don't really have that experience'cause I'm self-employed. So it's like everything I do has to be an act of devotion or. Else if I don't show up and do it, which is an act devotion, you know, being devoted to, uh, the business that you're in, to the job that you're in. Are we just showing up and doing the thing? Or are we, are we showing up and going, right. This is gonna be the best class ever. If you're a teacher, you know, this is gonna be the best meeting ever. If you work in a job where you have meetings, you know, are we literally devoting ourselves to what we're doing? Are we putting down roots to become. The best at what we do, and that includes family life, you know, that includes being a wife. Like absolutely. I've been shocking at times as a wife. I've been really hard to be around and I give myself grace around that because a lot of that is perimenopause. But, you know, something I've been enjoying recently, I've been watching Stacey and Joe, which I think I mentioned it in the last one, which is just like a reality show. Like I love my reality shows, um, but I feel like it's quite actually quite. Are real. Like, I don't feel like it's, they're faking it. Particularly like I think their relationship is very interesting to watch because they do have fallouts and I've really took a lot of comfort from that. Some, a sip of coffee. Um, but, but what I've learned from watching them is in the act of devotion to their marriage, they both, neither of them hold onto grudges. They both just let it go immediately. And she. She in particular, they will have an argument and then the next time she sees him, she's just like, hi. Like, totally fine. She doesn't need to dissect the argument. She, she also lets him be him. So he has a DHD and he is all over the shop, like, but such a likable person, like typical A DHD, chatty, funny, sweet, and amazing dad, but like just all over the shop, like with one project and another project and unfinished projects and things like that. And she's very, very. Passionate towards that. And she literally, she doesn't stop him doing anything. She gives him a lot of space to do what he needs to do. She does talk to him about the fact that his A DHD needs management and stuff, but like, it's just this very kind of, um, committed, devoted relationship. And it made me think about how I'm showing up as a wife. Like, am I just here physically and we're married and there's a ring on my finger, but I'm not being devoted in that way. Like. Since watching that, since seeing the Post as well, and like, I'm letting my husband be my be, be himself. Like I'm, I'm not getting annoyed that he went to the pub the night before. I'm, I'm just like letting him be him, you know, and like letting him be a bit messy and not being angry about it. Um, you know, accepting that my kids aren't very tidy and they don't do the things I've asked them to do a lot of the time and not being angry about it. Um, I. I don't want to put across that this is like, oh, you've got to be a pacifist and just like let people walk all over you. And also what I did the other day, and I need to voice this out because I need to acknowledge this, it was really good. Uh, my son who is diagnosed autistic, but for me, he's way more A DHD than autistic. I'm definite that he's a DHD and autistic. Uh, I just dunno if I can be bothered to go down the route with the DHD diagnosis to be honest. Um, he lost his shit, which he does a lot, but. I also recognize that he has learned some of that from me because I am, I can be a hothead. Um, and he's six, so obviously his meltdowns are like 6-year-old explosions. So he lost his shit about something to do with his computer game. Um, and I literally let him lose his shit and I was just physically there for him, and I didn't react. I, it was weird, like nothing affected me. I was just like. Actually, that's slightly a lie because it went on for so long, so long, so long. His words were so abusive to me. Uh, I let them bounce off me for a while, and then actually towards the end of his meltdown, I could see it was coming to an end. I did get a bit teary and he saw that probably wasn't a bad thing, to be honest, but I'm, I, I'm really, I was in, I was firm In my devotion to him, I was like, I'm not gonna lose it with you. You're allowed to be upset right now. And I kept saying to him, you are not allowed to use those words to mummy. And he kept saying, yes, I am. Yeah. And like, using the words again. And I was like, you are using them, but I'm not, I'm not, you know, that's not okay. That is not okay. But I kept saying to him, but I love you and I'm here for you. And then I try and make him smile and I try and hug him and he wasn't ready. And he went on and on. But it really did go on and on for a long time. Uh, I, I felt like, God, this is an act of devotion right now. Like I'm devoted to staying calm for this person. Um, and, and it. You know, it is that difference between devotion rather than performance. And it's like my devotion is unwavering. You know, if it all ended tomorrow or if you knew it was gonna end next week, what would you do? Like, devote yourself to those people, devote yourself to those things. Organize a big family holiday. Make peace with somebody that you've wanted to make peace with for ages, and the fallout is just stupid. I've done that with, uh, someone recently and hopefully we're building bridges with another thing, another person. Uh, so I'm trying really hard to have peace in my life because if you're not devoted to peace, what are you devoted to? Like, you know, another, um, another NEMA that we talked about yesterday was sania, which is CONT contentment. Um, and is a, ya my god, I really do get those two mixed up. It doesn't matter. Um, and it, we discussed what contentment means and I said, I think contentment to me means just peace. You know, like those feelings of just like inner peace, and that is why I choose not to drink. Um, well, when it is working, I choose not to drink, um, because the peace that I get from not drinking wins over the very brief buzz that I get out of drinking. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I capitulate, but it's not often very, very, very rare. And, and, and, and I, and I really, really, really want to never do it again. Never say never, but I, I'm trying, um, because I, it's a mistake for me because what happens is the, the initial buzz comes and then, uh, I feel like shit afterwards. And, and I hate the feeling of feeling, oh shit so much. And I love the feeling of peace so much, and I want to be devoted to peace. So I guess this podcast is gonna be called What does devotion look like for you? Like also just to touch on the spiritual practice of sadness. So sadness, but S-A-D-H-A-N-A. Uh, I actually have a freebie on my website. If you sign up to my mailing list, you get a free little, like fill in a bowl. Uh, few sheets of, uh, Saturn a planner. So my sader and I'm getting back into my meditation practice after a little bit of a wobble With that recently. And the two things I've definitely related, it's like if you stopped doing your practices, you. You're gonna drop your sobriety. Someone said to me the other in a meeting, um, I've rejoined my sober club as well, which is my sober meeting, which is I am part of sober mom collective. It used to be sober mom squad. It's now sober Mom Collective. It's a different group. Same people that the, the sober mom squad ended. So they restarted and, and, and it's great. And so I highly recommend that. Uh, and someone said to, in that meeting, if you're not working on your sobriety, you're working on your relapse. And that resonated. So like going to my meetings, I would say that is part of my sader, but my actual daily Saturn is, uh, meditating twice a day. So I get up and I meditate, and I, I'm studying Vedic meditation with, um, the Mindful Life Practice. And Rory Kinsella is my meditation teacher. And so I have a mantra and I say the mantra internally for 20 minutes. Well, my thoughts wander and then you bring it back with the mantra. I do that twice a day. Uh, and I, it dropped off. I was doing it once a day, then a couple of days I didn't do it at all. Uh, and you know, my devotion, my practice, it's, um, in the Yoga Sutra, they talk about. Practice. You know, you have to practice diligently, you have to put in the hours, and this is how you achieve samati. This is how you achieve peace. This is how you achieve bliss, contentment, all of these things. And it's so true. Like I've started to realize that a big thing that was missing for me in my practice and what. Caused a real bad mental health day. The other day was a lack of vigorous exercise. So I'm going to hot yoga again today. It's really, really good for me, even though it's a half an hour drive each way more than that actually in the morning. Um, and I'm dedicated to that. I'm devoted to that. That comes first. And then, you know, I go back. I water dogs in nature. Look, I'm making myself sound like a saint far from it. Um, I'm trying to eat more. Protein, but you better believe that I'm still raiding the kids Easter eggs like life. I also believe in pleasure. Um, you know, it's devoting to yourself. I just saw somebody run pattern of weighted vest. That's my next purchase. I'm gonna buy a weighted vest. I'm such a perimenopause cliche. I am like protein, wait. Just, um, but all these things are devotional. They're devotional to myself because I want to devote myself to my loved ones and I can't devote myself to my loved ones and to myself. And this, this life, this life that we get without feeling peaceful and well. And the way to feel peaceful and well is a devotion to my spiritual practices and the healthy practices that keep me well. And so I'm gonna leave it there. I wanna finish my coffee before I get into the city to my hot. Hot yoga class. Um, I love you guys. Please. Uh, I'm gonna, I've, I've had a real, I'm so busy doing things like hot yoga. I, I like literally need to catch up and upload a load of new episodes. Uh, and I'll schedule them and you know what I need to do? I need to share them. I need to be brave. I'm not being brave at them minute, I'm being really shy. Because I'm just enjoying the process of this, which they always say, don't they? Enjoy the process, do the process right, and record because you enjoy the process. I guess that's what I'm getting right, right now. But I'm like not sharing it. So I need to share more. I need to get my guests rebooked that I had to cancel on. Uh, and I love you and take care and let me know in the comment. Please rate and review. It helps this podcast get visibility. Uh, let me know in the comments like, what are you devoted to right now? How does devotion show up in your life? I love you. Take care. Bye.