No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best -- or only -- option. She'll explore how to recognize our unique essential nature and how to use that to empower a new narrative.Through topics that span psychology, friendships, nature and even gut-brain health, Mary creates a space that is inspiring and authentic - where she celebrates the intuition and power of women who want to chart their own course and program their own GPS.
Mary's topics will include sleep and supplements and nutrition and how to live like a plant. (Yes, you read that right - the example of plants is often the most insightful path to knowing what we truly need to feel fulfilled). She’ll talk about setting boundaries, communicating, and relationships, and explore mental health and wellness: trauma and resilience, how our food impacts our mood and the power of simple daily habits. And so much more!
As a gardener, Mary knows that violets have been misjudged for centuries and are actually one of the most resilient and ecologically important plants in her native garden. Like violets, women are often underestimated, and they can even mistake their unique gifts for weaknesses. Join Mary to explore all the ways the vibrant and strong violet is an example for finding fulfillment in our own lives.
No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
From "Why Me?" to "What's The Lesson?": Breaking Free from Negativity
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Ever feel stuck in a loop of negative thinking? Your brain might be creating deep mental ruts without you even realizing it.
This mini-episode explores the fascinating psychology behind our tendency toward negative mindsets. As humans, we're naturally wired to spot dangers and problems first—an evolutionary adaptation that once kept us safe but now often works against us. When we repeatedly think negatively about our experiences, we create mental pathways similar to a motorcycle circling a muddy field, carving deeper grooves that become increasingly difficult to escape.
The key to breaking free lies in a simple but powerful mindset shift. Rather than asking "Why is this happening to me?"—which positions you as a victim—try asking "What can I learn from this?" This subtle change transforms challenging situations from sources of suffering into opportunities for growth. Whether you're stuck in traffic, facing workplace difficulties, or dealing with personal setbacks, this perspective shift can help you recognize patterns and extract valuable lessons.
As we discuss in this episode, "The world is going to keep knocking on your door, and if you're not answering, it's gonna basically break it down." By embracing challenges as teachers rather than tormentors, you reclaim your agency and discover new paths forward. Give this mindset shift a try next time you feel life isn't going your way, and notice how it changes your relationship with challenges. Then let us know how it works for you—we'd love to hear your experiences with reframing negative thoughts!
Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.
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Hi, welcome to a mini episode of no Shrinking Violence. So as a therapist, I know one of the toughest things for clients to overcome is negative mindset. Now let me tell you a little about what I mean by that, because sometimes we can say, oh, she's so negative. And when I say negative mindset, what I mean by that is we tend to look at a situation and because we are wired to keep ourselves safe, we often see the worst part of it first. That's just how we're made. We have to be able to assess something.
Speaker 1:But what happens when we have the executive functioning of humans is it can go a little beyond helpful into a space that's not helpful and we can start to see the world in the worst possible light, looking at all the things that went wrong, and we can tend to think why is this happening to me? And that is something that tends to perpetuate itself. I think of it sort of rumination, negative thinking. Think of it as, let's say, you have a muddy field and you're on a motorcycle or a dirt bike and you keep going around and around in a circle. You're going to make a pretty deep chasm there, right from the tires. When that dries it's going to harden, so it makes it a lot harder when you're riding through that field to not kind of fall into that circular pattern. So what you want to try to do is just change the way that you're thinking about what's happening to you. And so the first part of that is again to recognize when you're saying, why is this happening to me? It can feel like the world is out to get you. So instead, try to take a minute and ask yourself instead what can I learn from this? So if there's a situation where you feel like you're stuck in traffic, you're going to be late for work again, think about okay, this seems to be a pattern I'm frustrated with the traffic, I'm frustrated with the fact that when I get to work, I'm rushing to get to the first meeting or people are noticing I'm late. Think instead what could I do differently? What is this teaching me? Well, it might mean that it's better to leave 15 minutes earlier.
Speaker 1:That's the one part of this is to recognize when you've slipped into that rut and when you tend to see the world in the things that are going wrong, because there's always going to be something that goes wrong. So if you tend to say it's just a bad day, or it's one of those days, or I should have stayed in bed. Yeah, those things can lighten the mood and we can sometimes say them with a sense of humor, but there's always something good. And when things seem to be repeatedly happening, that's when it's time to switch from why is this happening to me, or why do these things always happen to me, to what is this teaching me, because the world is going to keep knocking on your door and if you're not answering, it's gonna basically break it down. So there's a little mind shift from why is this happening to me to what is this teaching me. Thanks for listening. Go out into the world and be the amazing, resilient, vibrant violet that you are.
