No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best -- or only -- option. She'll explore how to recognize our unique essential nature and how to use that to empower a new narrative.Through topics that span psychology, friendships, nature and even gut-brain health, Mary creates a space that is inspiring and authentic - where she celebrates the intuition and power of women who want to chart their own course and program their own GPS.
Mary's topics will include sleep and supplements and nutrition and how to live like a plant. (Yes, you read that right - the example of plants is often the most insightful path to knowing what we truly need to feel fulfilled). She’ll talk about setting boundaries, communicating, and relationships, and explore mental health and wellness: trauma and resilience, how our food impacts our mood and the power of simple daily habits. And so much more!
As a gardener, Mary knows that violets have been misjudged for centuries and are actually one of the most resilient and ecologically important plants in her native garden. Like violets, women are often underestimated, and they can even mistake their unique gifts for weaknesses. Join Mary to explore all the ways the vibrant and strong violet is an example for finding fulfillment in our own lives.
No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women
The One-Word Shift That Changes Everything
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Have you ever noticed how easily we slip into victim mode when life gets challenging? That subtle internal dialogue of "why does this always happen to me?" can significantly impact our wellbeing and resilience.
This mini-episode explores a transformative one-word shift in perspective that changes everything: moving from believing life happens "to you" to recognizing it happens "through you." While seemingly simple, this mental reframe transforms us from passive recipients of circumstances into active participants in our own stories. When we view ourselves as participants rather than victims, we reclaim our power to respond thoughtfully rather than react automatically.
Nature demonstrates this principle beautifully—plants under the right kind of stress don't wither; they grow stronger and adapt in new directions. Similarly, our challenges aren't punishments but opportunities for growth. This doesn't mean pretending difficulties don't affect us. Rather, it means creating intentional pauses when faced with challenges—stepping away for a coffee break or a few minutes of fresh air—to interrupt negative thought patterns and make more empowered choices.
Living with this "through you" mindset also means actively creating positive moments: sending that spontaneous text to someone you're thinking about, looking for small opportunities to experience joy, and making choices aligned with how you want to feel. When patterns of negativity appear in your life, view them as signposts pointing toward areas needing your attention and growth rather than evidence of bad luck or personal shortcoming.
Ready to transform your relationship with life's challenges? Listen now and discover how this simple perspective shift can empower you to navigate difficulties with greater resilience and purpose. Then share your experience with us—we'd love to hear how this mindset shift works in your life!
Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.
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Hi, Welcome to a mini episode of no Shrinking Violets. So last week on my mini episode, I talked about a little mind shift from asking yourself the question why do these things always happen to me? To what can I learn from this? And I'm going to go up a level higher on this type of thinking and take a little bit more of a meta view of that type of negative thinking. And I'll clarify because what I said last time, the word negative has gotten even a worse connotation. So when I say negative thinking, it isn't necessarily your kind of thinking or oh my God, this is like the worst thing. It's not technically that it can be that to that degree, but sometimes it's what we don't recognize in our mind is making us feel worse.
Speaker 1:So something happens. We can generalize, because it's much easier to see the negative than it is to see the small positive things that happen, unless we intentionally focus on those things. So we can find ourselves saying internally why does this stuff always happen to me? So what I talked about is shifting that to what is this trying to teach me? There's always a lesson.
Speaker 1:But let's go up a couple rungs of the ladder and think about the concept of life happening. And this is a tiny shift, it's a one-word shift, but we often think life happens to us, Things happen to us. I'm stuck in traffic again. I keep meeting the wrong people. I have friends that take advantage of me, meeting the wrong people, I have friends that take advantage of me. There's always space in there to look at what your choices are. But shifting also to the idea of life happens through you, it doesn't happen to you, yes, there are always things that we cannot control. Any sense of control is an illusion. So it's sort of like expecting that things are not going to go smoothly all the time. But that's how we learn and in nature, when things are stressed in the right way, they actually grow stronger. They grow in a different direction.
Speaker 1:So, if you can think of in terms of your life as happening through you, so when things happen, instead of sort of feeling that inner resistance, that inner negativity, the eye rolling, the sighing like oh my God, here we go again, the eye rolling, the sighing like oh my God, here we go again. Something else has happened to me. Try to take a second and that might mean you take a break from what is ever happening or what's happening at that point and just say I'm going to go grab a coffee, I'm going to go sit outside for 10 minutes, Whatever you can do to give yourself a break, take some breaths and think, okay, these things are happening, but the way I think about it is in my control. It's really the only thing we can control is how we think about it. But when you think of in terms of life happening through you, that you're a participant in life, and when there tend to be patterns that are negative or even patterns that are unhealthy or just issues where you recognize, I keep tending to end up in these same sorts of situations. That's life kind of pointing out that you need to look at that from a different angle, turn it around and say what's happening here? What do I have control over? What's it trying to teach me and coming at life each day from the sense of, okay, it's happening through me.
Speaker 1:I'm a participant in my life, Designing it to have moments in the day that are just. It can be a flicker of true joy. It can be that you choose to send a text to somebody just because you're thinking of them. That can happen a lot, that we think of somebody and we just think of them but reach out and say, hey, I was just thinking of you, send an emoji. You don't know what you're gonna get back. You might not get anything back and that is probably because they were busy or they meant to send something back, whatever.
Speaker 1:But we create things in life that feel good, sometimes, often intentionally. Yeah, there are great surprises, but if life happens through you and you sort of take that stance as you start each day, you are so much more a participant in your life and it empowers you that when there are situations that don't feel good or you don't want to continue repeating in your life, it gives you a much better starting point to figure out what changes do I need to create to make life feel more like I want it to feel? So that's your thought for today. Life doesn't happen to you. It happens through you. Thanks for listening. Go out into the world and be the amazing, resilient, vibrant violet that you are.
