Belonging: Finding the Zone Where You Thrive

A simple move can surface a big truth: belonging shapes everything. We share why we left a very rural home for a small city and unpack how that decision revealed a practical framework for fit and flourishing. Drawing on plant wisdom from my forthcoming book, Nature Knows: Growing and Thriving Through the Wisdom of Plants, we translate climate zones into a human “thrivability zone” you can use to assess work, relationships, and place.

If a tropical plant can’t overwinter in a hard frost, it doesn’t mean the plant is wrong—it means the climate is. We explore this mindset for real life: how to tell when you’re conserving energy instead of flowering, why survival mode is sometimes necessary but costly when it lingers, and how small, intentional changes can shift your conditions. From higher education’s focus on belonging to everyday choices about autonomy, community, and values, you’ll hear clear signs of climate mismatch and concrete ways to amend the soil before you uproot your life.

You’ll also get a behind-the-scenes update on the book’s progress, including a chance to join the launch team for early access, cover voting, and illustrated extras. If you’ve felt stuck, silenced, or out of place, this conversation offers a gentle, evidence-informed path back to your nature—one boundary, one habit, one environment tweak at a time. Listen, reflect, and ask yourself: what light, warmth, and space do you need to thrive? If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who’s ready to grow, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Chapters

• 0:00 A Mini Move And A Theme
• 0:30 Defining Belonging Through Higher Ed
• 1:48 Climate Zones As A Life Metaphor
• 3:20 Surviving Versus Thriving
• 5:20 Choosing Your Right Zone
• 6:18 Book Update And Launch Invite
• 7:01 How To Join The Launch Team
• 7:24 Closing And Encouragement

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hi, and welcome to a mini episode of No Shrinking Violets. If you heard my recent mini, which was, I think, last week, I talked about the fact that my husband and I decided to pull up stakes from our country home in very rural Pennsylvania. And well, it's rural. It's probably not certainly the most rural area of Pennsylvania, but we decided to move to a small city that's about an hour from here. And it's the county where I grew up in. And one of the things that I think about when I think of this decision for us is the idea of belonging. And if you've worked in education at all, especially higher education, this is something that for a very long time has been in the crosshairs of objectives or initiatives within the higher ed world that when you bring students to your campus, it's really important that they feel that they belong there because they're away from home, they're meeting all new people, it's entirely different. Nothing is familiar. Their bed is different, their food is different, their classes are different, all of these things, they've moved into this other community. So helping students feel that they belong is really important. And it's often students in marginalized populations that tend to have the most trouble feeling connected to a new space. If everyone or many people look different than them, or even a different state in the United States to go a few states away. It's there are many cultures in different states. So anyway, belonging is very important. And it's one of the first chapters in my upcoming book, which is called Nature Knows Growing and Thriving Through the Wisdom of Plants. And I use the idea of climate zones to reflect the idea of belonging. So let me give you a quick snapshot. If you're a gardener, you understand what climate zones are. So for those of you who aren't, a climate zone is the way that you know if a plant you're buying can survive year-round where you live. So for instance, if you live where I do, the winters get cold. We definitely have frost and freezing. So a tropical plant, a plant that would grow in much more temperate zones, definitely South America, would not survive the winter here. So that would be called an annual for us. An annual means a plant that cannot complete its life cycle and reproduce or produce seeds that will grow in that spot where it's planted. A perennial is a plant that comes back every year. So it's especially important to know that your perennials can survive the winter. So the hardiness zone or the climate zone is what you look at on the plant tag. So if we think about our own, I call it thrivability zone in my book. If we think about where do we thrive, that is what can help us figure out whether we feel a sense of belonging. So if you're in a situation where maybe you're in a new job and it feels really good, you know you belong there. There's always an adjustment, but you know, this is great. I belong here. Or maybe you've been in a job for a long time and things have changed in that job, and you're starting to feel like this doesn't feel right anymore. Maybe there was a lot of turnover, maybe there are new missions or objectives in the company and they just don't resonate for you. Maybe there is just a change in you. Maybe you want something different and you don't feel like you belong there anymore. It could be a situation where there are relationships where you don't feel like you belong. Maybe it's something where you perhaps tolerated some things that you always felt weren't okay and now you feel that more keenly. And when a plant does that, it will still survive. If a plant doesn't get enough light or it's not getting enough water, it typically will shut down some of its functioning, and usually that's flowering, to survive. That means it's not thriving because the whole point of life is to reproduce. So if a plant can't flower, it can't produce seeds, it can't be pollinated, can't produce seeds, can't reproduce. So there are things that we all do to survive where we are. But if you do too many things that don't allow you to thrive, and you hear me say all the time, taking up your space, if you stay small or you don't allow yourself to have a voice or to truly follow your essential nature, to truly be the person you are, to live where you want, to explore the job you want, to be in a relationship where you feel that you have a true partner. So many areas in our life we can just survive. And yes, there are times that you may decide I need to stay here and just survive for now. But there are a lot of situations where we talk ourselves out of going into a different zone where we would thrive, where we would have more warmth, or maybe things are too hot where you are. Maybe you don't want a micromanaging boss, or maybe you don't want a controlling partner. Um, you might decide you want to go somewhere where you can have more solitude or more independence. So I really pull um a lot more examples out of this idea of climate zone and belonging because it is really the basis for building a life where we thrive. And I'm sure I will talk a more about this as my book is coming um coming together. It's at the editors now. But there is one thing that you could help with. And I would love if you would be on my launch team. And that just means you'll get periodic emails from me, not I will not flood your inbox, and it will be all about my book and fun things like maybe you can help me vote for the cover that you want, which by the way, my sister is designing, or we're working on taking some of the beautiful illustrations she's doing and creating note cards, or I will send you a chapter of me narrating a chapter of my book for free. So there's a lot of different things that we want to have fun with because I am so excited about getting this book into the world. It's called Nature Knows Growing and Thriving Through the Wisdom of Plants. So if you would love to be part of my launch team and there will be details in the first email, if you sign up, I just need your first name, your email. There's a link in the show notes. It's maryrothwell.net forward slash launch team. Get your friends, if you're readers, please get them involved because you will get an advanced copy of the book for cost before it's available to the public. So more deets in the emails, but I would love, love, love to have you part of my launch team. Until next time, thanks for listening and go out into the world and be the amazing, resilient, vibrant Violet that you are.