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Breast Cancer Reimagined
The story you tell yourself about your breast cancer journey shapes your entire experience. Whether you’ve recently been diagnosed or are in the midst of treatment, Breast Cancer Reimagined is your podcast for writing this new chapter of your life.
Breast Cancer Reimagined
How to Handle Fear When Diagnosed with Breast Cancer
Summary
In this episode of Breast Cancer Reimagined, host Shannon D. Silva discusses the pervasive emotion of fear that accompanies a breast cancer diagnosis. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging fear rather than pushing it away, and offers strategies for coping with it. Drawing from her personal experiences and insights from Dr. Susan Jeffers' book, Shannon explores the roots of fear, the significance of self-trust, and practical strategies to build resilience. The episode concludes with actionable steps for listeners to create their own 'I can handle it' toolkit, fostering a sense of empowerment and support throughout their journey.
Takeaways
- Fear is a normal part of the breast cancer journey.
- You can learn to handle fear.
- Building self-trust is key.
- Confusing discomfort with inability can hinder progress.
- You have a powerful inner toolkit of strengths.
- Reflecting on past challenges helps build confidence.
- Self-trust comes from showing up despite difficulties.
- It's okay to feel fear; it doesn't mean you're weak.
- Creating a support system is essential.
- Daily practices can reinforce your resilience.
🌟 Strategy #1: Build Your “I Handled It” File
A powerful reminder: You’ve done hard things before—and you can do them again.
Step 1: Recall a tough moment you’ve overcome.
Step 2: Write it down. Capture what happened, how you felt, and what helped you cope. Be honest and specific.
Step 3: Identify the character strengths you used.
Step 4: Revisit your file when fear or doubt shows up. Let it remind you: You’ve handled challenges before. You can trust yourself to do it again.
✨ Strategy #2: “Today, I Handled…”
Build self-trust in real time—one day at a time.
Step 1: Make this a daily practice.
At the end of each day, complete the sentence:
📝 “Today, I handled…”
Step 2: Keep it simple. No win is too small.
Step 3: Reflect regularly. Trust builds quietly through consistency.
💪 Strategy #3: Create Your “I Can Handle It” Toolkit
Your personal collection of tools to help you stay grounded and strong in hard moments.
Step 1: Gather your go-to resources:
- Square Breathing
- Mindful Pause
- Affirmations
- Your Character Strengths profile
- Support call list
- Photos, quotes, or memories that remind you of your courage
Step 2: Practice using your tools. The more you use them, the more natural it becomes to reach for support when you need it most.
Feel the Fear… and Do It Anyway
List of 24 Character Strengths
Please let us know how we can support you by completing the Breast Cancer Reimagined - Listener Survey
The story you tell yourself about your breast cancer journey shapes your entire experience, whether you've been recently diagnosed or are in the midst of treatment. Breast Cancer Reimagined is your podcast for writing this new chapter of your life. Hi, I'm Shannon, your host, and I'm so glad you're here. As a proud two-time breast cancer survivor, I'm on a mission to help women like you reimagine how you navigate your breast cancer journey by helping you shift your mindset, activate your strengths and uncover deeper meaning in your journey. I'm creating future episodes to address your unique challenges, but I need your input. What are your biggest questions or struggles when it comes to your journey? Share them with me by completing the Google form that's linked in the show notes. Your voice matters and together we can create something truly powerful. I can't wait to hear from you. Hello, hello, welcome, or welcome back to Breast Cancer Reimagined. Hi, I'm Shannon, your host. I'm a proud two-time breast cancer survivor and I am so glad you are here Today.
Speaker 1:We're talking about one of the most common yet most difficult emotions we experience on this journey Fear, that feeling of your stomach dropping the racing thoughts that keep you up at night. That's the fear we're talking about today. Fear can show up anywhere, at appointments, in the waiting, in the unknown, and that's okay. Fear is a part of our breast cancer journey, but today we're not here to ignore it or push it away. But today we're not here to ignore it or push it away. We're here to meet it with strength, with clarity and with a renewed sense of control.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Episode 12, how to Handle Fear when Diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Diagnosed with breast cancer. Inspiration for this episode came from the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, by Dr Susan Jeffers. She writes at the bottom of every one of our fears is simply the fear that we can't handle whatever life may bring us. That we can't handle whatever life may bring us. Fear first showed up for me after my mammogram in September 2017. I got a letter in the mail. It said your breast tissue is very dense. We recommend that you schedule a biopsy. We recommend that you schedule a biopsy.
Speaker 1:I remember feeling encouraged when I read 80% of the results come back benign. So I focused on the 80%. I tried to stay positive, but then one day the phone rang while I was at work and I heard the words no one ever wants to hear you have breast cancer, invasive ductal carcinoma of the right breast. My mind spiraled and fear rushed in like a tidal wave. What if the cancer spreads everywhere? What if they don't get it out in time? What if I die? All I wanted in that moment was for it to be gone fast, to somehow reverse time, to wake up and find out it had all been a mistake, it had all been a mistake.
Speaker 1:That moment, maybe you've had one like it A diagnosis, a callback, a scan, a treatment plan. You get news that flips your world upside down and suddenly the ground beneath you doesn't feel solid anymore. Take a moment to think back to your own diagnosis. What did fear sound like for you? At the heart of it, it isn't just the fear about the treatment, the test results or even the unknown future. It's the belief beneath all of it, the voice that whispers. I can't handle this. But why do we assume we can't handle it?
Speaker 1:Let me share with you three common reasons, and as I read each one, think about the reason that resonates most with you. The first reason we assume that we can't handle a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment is because we confuse discomfort with inability. So when something feels hard or painful, it's easy to assume we're not equipped to deal with it. But feeling uncomfortable isn't the same as being incapable. It just means it's challenging, not impossible. The second reason is because we're stepping into unfamiliar territory and in that space, doubt creeps in. But the truth is you have a powerful inner toolkit, your 24 character strengths. You may not have faced this exact challenge, but bravery, hope, perseverance and love have always lived inside of you. This moment isn't about becoming someone new. It's about discovering the strength that's been there all along. You can handle this. And the third reason we forget how far we've already come Fear makes us forget the strength we've already shown in past challenges. That's why it really helps us to pause and reflect, because you've gotten through tough times before and that's proof you can do it again.
Speaker 1:So which of the three reasons resonates most with you? Confusing discomfort with inability, or stepping into unfamiliar territory, or forgetting how far you've come? For me, it's about confusing discomfort with inability. When something feels hard, my first instinct is to think maybe I'm just not good at this. But the truth is, maybe I'm just not good at this, but the truth is, growth often feels uncomfortable. So when that quiet voice asks can I really handle this? Yes, you can. Not all at once and not perfectly, but moment by moment you can. You don't need all the answers right now. You just need to remind yourself I can handle the next step, and then the one after that.
Speaker 1:And the foundation of that belief, that ability to handle the next step and the one after that, it all comes down to unlocking one key skill to handle fear during your breast cancer journey. That skill is building trust in yourself. Building trust in yourself isn't about pretending everything is easy. Real self-trust comes from showing up despite the difficulty and being honest about the struggle and proving to yourself again and again that you are brave and you can persevere and move forward even when things feel hard, messy or uncertain. Building trust in yourself doesn't mean being fearless. Self-trust is about knowing you can still take action even when you're scared, by using your bravery and zest for life. Using your bravery and zest for life. And lastly, building trust in yourself doesn't mean wearing a brave face 24-7.
Speaker 1:Forget the fake smiles and forced positivity. It's about being real with yourself and trusting your inner strength to keep moving forward. It's knowing it's okay to have doubts or feel down and that it doesn't make you weak. It shows honesty. You trust yourself, to feel your feelings and get through them. So if trusting yourself isn't about being fearless, faking positivity or pretending things are easy, what is it about? Well, it's about tuning into that voice inside of you that believes in you, especially when things go hard. That voice is your inner coach. Think of your inner coach as that supportive and encouraging voice inside of you. It's that part of you that believes in your ability to handle challenges, even when you're unsure. Can you recognize that voice within you, the one that reminds you you've made it through every hard day so far? That voice might be quiet right now, but you can help it grow louder. So how do we actually build this crucial self-trust? Here are three strategies you can use to build that inner trust muscle, starting today.
Speaker 1:Our first strategy is designed to combat that feeling of forgetfulness that fear brings. It's called the I handled it file. Step number one think back to a tough time, one you got through. Step number two write it down and capture how you felt and also identify what helped you cope. Step number three spot the character strengths that you used. There is a list of the 24 character strengths in the show notes. And then step number four is to revisit this list when fear shows up. Let it remind you that you are capable of facing your fears.
Speaker 1:Let me give you a quick example. So again, step number one, think back to a tough time, one that you got through. So the tough time I'm going to share is a time when my husband and I went on a whitewater rafting trip for the first time and about maybe the first four minutes into this trip, we hit our boat, hit a huge rock and the boat flipped over and everyone got thrown from the boat and I landed underneath the boat. And the next step is to capture how you felt and what helped you cope. Well, I tell you, when I realized that I was underneath the boat, it was really dark and I remembered okay, I'm under the boat, I need to get to the surface what I said to myself. I said don't panic, just get to the surface. Because I knew if I panicked in that moment, when I was under the water, under the boat, I could have drowned if I was panicking. So I told myself don't panic, get to the surface. And actually in the show notes there's a picture of the moment I reached the surface and you can see the fear on my face. Once I was at the surface, my focus get to the other boat. I made my way to the boat. They pulled me in and I sat there and the next thought in my head was I don't wanna do this anymore. Like I'm done, like I wanna go home, like I want to go home. But I had to tell myself I said okay, shannon, there's nowhere to go, you have to ride it out. You have to continue on this river in order to be able to go back home. And so in that moment I said, okay, just breathe, just just breathe. So I spent some time breathing and luckily that helped me to calm down.
Speaker 1:Step number three is to identify the character strengths that you used. In my example, I used my self-regulation, and that means I was able to manage my emotions in that moment when I was afraid and I didn't panic. I was also able to use my bravery. I think just going, just saying yes to whitewater rafting, I felt really brave. And then I also use my perseverance to get from underneath the boat to get to the surface and get to the other boat, to safety. And so I have a whole bunch of pictures from this experience, and so I often will look at those photos as a reminder of something that I have handled. That was really scary for me.
Speaker 1:Now let's move from reflecting on the past to actively building self-trust in the present with our second strategy, and this one is called Today I Handled. Think of this as your real-time resilience diary, a daily practice to help you notice your strength as it's happening. Here's how it works. At the end of each day, finish this simple sentence Today I handled. It could be something big, like showing up for a tough appointment, or something small like getting out of bed when you didn't feel like it. No win is too small. All Every time you name what you handled, you're building a track record of strength, one day at a time. So we're building our self-trust muscle, and our next strategy is all about giving you tangible ways to support yourself in the moment. So imagine having a personalized collection of resources right at your fingertips that you know will bring you comfort, courage and calm. That's the power of our third strategy creating your I Can Handle it toolkit.
Speaker 1:Step number one gather your tools, and these can be a variety of things. I'll share with you what I have in my toolkit to give you some ideas. I have breathing exercises. One of them is called square breathing, and I'll include a link in the show notes. When we are afraid, our breath often becomes shallow and quick, and square breathing slows everything down, with the steady rhythm which signals to our body I am safe. Something else I have in my toolkit is a mindfulness practice, and this practice is called the mindful pause. Now, this is a practice to allow you to slow down, take an inventory of your emotions and reconnect with your strengths. There's also a link to the mindful pause in the show notes. There's also a link to the mindful pause in the show notes. Something else in my toolkit that you can include in yours is your personalized character strengths profile. There's a link to the via survey in the show notes so that you can download your personalized character strengths profile. Think of this profile like a mirror reflecting back the best parts of you.
Speaker 1:Something else to include in your toolkit affirmations. I'm going to share with you some of the affirmations that I'm currently working with. Here's the first affirmation it's okay for this to feel hard. Number two I can let it be hard without making it mean something about me. Number three fear is a part of the process, not a sign to stop Something else in the toolkit Photos Create albums on your phone that remind you of times that you have faced your fears, or times that you were afraid and how you rose above your fear.
Speaker 1:In episode number 10, I shared a story of the time I fell off my electric skateboard and I got road rash. Well, I have that picture in my album because when I look at that and I remind myself of wow, I fell, but I still got up and I kept going. So that's a photo that I often refer back to. I mentioned the whitewater rafting trip earlier. I have a lot of those photos also in my toolkit. Another photo the day I had a mastectomy in November of 2000, no, sorry, december of 2021, I rode my one wheel to the entrance of the hospital before I went in for my surgery.
Speaker 1:I'll also include a link to that video in the show notes as well. So make sure you have some photos, videos, anything that just helps to remind you that you can handle it, that you have faced fear in the past and that you can do it again. And lastly, something you might want to include in your toolkit is a support call list. Who are the people you have on speed dial that you can talk to when you're feeling afraid, when you feel that you just need someone to tell you that things are going to be okay. Who is on that list? So make sure you have a list of people that you can contact when you need that support.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we've gone through step one, which is gather your tools. If there are other tools that you want to include in your toolkit, please do. Step number two is to try out the things you have in your toolkit, see what feels right, and the key is to practice regularly. So when fear arrives, you're ready.
Speaker 1:As we wrap up today's episode, I want to leave you with three key takeaways. Fear is a normal part of the breast cancer journey. Two, you can learn to handle fear. And three, building self-trust is key. And remember, you don't have to be fearless, you just have to keep choosing to show up. One breath, one step, one moment at a time. Now it's your turn. Which of these strategies will you explore this week? Maybe you'll create your I handled it file. Again, that's a collection of moments where you made it through something tough big or small, it all counts. Or maybe you'll respond to the prompt today I handled it.
Speaker 1:A daily practice that reminds you of your strength in real time. A daily practice that reminds you of your strength in real time. And number three, maybe you want to develop your personal I can handle it toolkit your personalized go-to list of resources, right at your fingertips, that you know will bring you comfort, courage and calm. If this episode resonated with you, hit, follow and share it with someone who might need to hear this today, and also join our Breast Cancer Reimagined community for more support, reflection prompts and inspiration. The link is in the show notes. The link is in the show notes. Next time on Breast Cancer Reimagined, we're talking about what to do when we get caught up in mental loops of negativity. Don't miss episode 13. Don't forget to subscribe. I'll talk with you in the next episode. Thank you for joining.