Mindset Training For Riders: Gil Friedman from Mental Athletics

Gil Friedman is the founder and head coach of Mental Athletics, a performance mindset coaching program for riders. As an NRHA professional trainer and lifelong competitor, Gil has a unique perspective on the mental needs of equestrian competitors. He was featured on Taylor Sheridan’s show The Last Cowboy, coaching one of his NRHA professional clients. Check out Mental Athletics at the links below.

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For questions, comments, or ideas: ThePhilosophicalCowgirl@gmail.com

If you like the show, please be sure to share it or subscribe/follow/rate and review! All these things help get the show out there and keeps it going!

For questions, comments, or ideas: ThePhilosophicalCowgirl@gmail.com

Transcript

[00:00:00]

Gil: I think to be present, it's the, one of the hardest place to be. That is an unnatural place for human beings to be is present in the moment. We're always on this timeline of thinking forward and backwards. But there's a creature that is a master of being present, and that's our horses. Our horses don't know to be anywhere but in the present time. That's the place to learn from them how to be present.

In this episode, I was able to have a conversation with Gil Friedman of Mental Athletics, and he is a mindset coach for, specifically for horse people.

I first heard about Gil when I was watching The Last Cowboy, which is that Taylor Sheridan show about reiners, and he's kind of started to work in some [00:01:00] cowhorse stuff too, but mostly about reiners now. And, um, Gil in the show was coaching one of his clients, Gabriel Borges, and I found out after that, after I did a little bit of digging on who he was, that he's coached a lot of high level NRHA riders.

And, he's one of the few mental coaches who actually understands the Western performance horse industry because he is a trainer himself.

He's a reining trainer. And so he completely gets what it feels like to be in the show pin what it feels like to prep all of that stuff. So I think that this will be a fascinating episode, and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.

Sarah: Well, I am, happy to have Gil Friedman with me today and, He is, in Israel. And so we had, we've had to figure out time zone issues, but I'm, I'm super excited that we made it work. So, um, thanks for being here,

Gil.

Gil: Thank you for inviting me. I'm excited.

[00:02:00] I'm feeling blessed

to be part of this

podcast. I'm excited

about

it.

Sarah: Good. Thank you. Um, okay. Well, tell us a little bit about who you are. I already mentioned that you're based in Israel. Um, and kind of a nutshell of what you do before we

really get into

the nuts and

bolts of it.

Gil: Yeah. So my name is Gil Friedman. I'm a performance mindset coach and was born and raised in this industry. Um, I'm a reigning horse trainer NRHA professional and you know, the first time I got on a horse, I was six years old the first time I walked into the show, but I was 11 and never, never stopped since then. And, um, you know, I'm a Israeli American and I travel a lot. And as a horse trainer, as a non pro coach, and today as a full time, uh, mindset coach, I found that [00:03:00] The mindset is such a powerful element, aspect of equestrian sports in general and competitive equestrian sports. Um, and I always understood that as, as a rider as a competitor, that, you know, it sits on three aspects for us, you know, this, this whole journey of competitive life.

You know, if there's something that I found, um, mutual for. All Competitive Riders, in whatever event you compete, it could be reining, cow horse cutting, show jumping, dressage. It is actually the pursuit of peak performance. We work day in, day out, work very, very hard for that opportunity to enter the show open and achieve our peak ability.

And of course, express our horse's peak ability. And You know, thinking about it. I understood It It sits on three aspects. Horse ability, rider's ability, and rider's mindset. [00:04:00] Now, the thing is that horse ability and rider's ability are quite easily seen. I mean, you can watch a rider ride his horse and have an opinion.

You don't have an opinion about, you know, the quality of the horse. And, you know, you can tell a lot about the rider just from watching. However, rider's mindset is invisible. Nobody can see what is happening in the rider's mindset when they're riding their horse. And in many cases, us ourselves are not 100 percent sure what is happening in our own

mind while we were riding our horse in that competitive environment.

I found that rider's mindset has a huge impact over rider's ability and therefore a certain impact over horse's ability. And that's what brought me to develop Mental Athletics, um, Equestrian Mindset Training Program that helps riders worldwide to mentally condition themselves to execute high level horsemanship.

My goal as a mindset coach is help riders close the [00:05:00] gap. Close the gap between our ability to executing our ability when it counts in any given ride. And of course, when we're stepping into the competitive environment. So the whole program is based on understanding how the mindset is. Is, is, is a big part of our horsemanship, of our well being, of our performance, hopefully high performance, and leadership, there's a lot of leadership

in this

life that we choose to live as competitive equestrian riders.

Sarah: So can you elaborate on the leadership component? Cause I think that's

fascinating

Gil: you know, for me, leadership is the highest state of equine individuals. Um, I'll start with the question, you know, that I asked many people at the beginning when they start to work with me, a question that I'm very fascinated about the question of sport Are they individual sport or [00:06:00] team sport in your opinion?

Sarah: Oh, that's such a good question. I think we treat it as an individual sport a lot of the time, but I think practically it can't be because you have another another brain involved and you also have your coach and you have all sorts of

things going on too with

other people.

Gil: Absolutely. A hundred percent, you know, and this is kind of a tension that, that, you know, I was thinking for a very long time and I think I found an answer. I consider it as a team sport, a hundred percent, like you said, but it's a unique team sport. It's one of the only team sports in the world where the rider is the competitor and the horse is the athlete.

Sarah: That's interesting.

Gil: We choose to live a competitive life. You know, it's our choice to enjoy the thrill of victory and suffer from the agony of defeat. However, our success is always dependent on our horse, the quality of the horse, the horse, Executing their highest athletic abilities wouldn't count in the show pen [00:07:00] you know.

Although they know, although they know nothing about the competition, I mean, I'm sure they know something is happening, but they don't know what scored their mark, how much was written in the paycheck, you know, and, and what place they placed. They have no clue about that. But

choosing to live a

competitive life is a

choice of, of

constantly

living under

pressure. Expectation to reach a certain ability and expectations to reach that certain ability in a certain timeframe. And, and this pressure in the world I grew up in, I believe that a lot of people around me grew up, it's kind of generated to the horses. You know, we talk about horses, this horse can handle the pressure. That horse cannot handle the pressure. And when you ask about leadership, that's where we flip the coin. And I believe that horses don't, are not the one that needs to handle the pressure of the competitive life, but we do. You know, we need to guard the horses from the pressure of the competitive life.

And that's where it starts Leadership

so leadership is not just [00:08:00] about, you know, doing what's right. It's the ability to have the strategy, the ability to, to listen as much as you speak, the ability to, to be present and to know when to push and to slow down. And, and the, and the truth is, is to always find the optimal path for you

That links between well being and high performance.

Sarah: I've coached a lot of people through NRCHA regional shows and, um, I feel like there's a massive difference between the majority of people who show and then the elite.

People who show and the majority of people, um, it's it's almost like they are trying to just have fun and the minute it stops being fun or gets hard and slightly uncomfortable, they think there's a problem and they'll get nervous and pull back and say, it's not fun anymore [00:09:00] or, you know, whatever. But, um, for me, it's, that's, that's weird because I've never, I mean, I, I enjoy horses, but it's never been a pursuit of fun, right?

It's a pursuit of. And, um, so how do you help people who want to show and want to win and want to do well, but also, um, are having that trouble handling the pressure because it's in their mind taking the

fun out of it.

Does that make sense?

Gil: Yeah, absolutely. I think a lot of times when you, let's say you give an example, there's a certain individual. That is, that is struggling now and is losing their enjoyment. They're not able to, to exhibit their, their optimal ability of riding. And the mix of that creates a negative experience, I'd say that way.

And I think a lot of times, and that would brought me also to become a mindset coach. It's, it's the lack of awareness. And when I say [00:10:00] awareness, not of not being self aware, I think that we're all self aware to, to that level or another, but awareness to. To the, um, complexity of the competitive environment to the uniqueness how the competitive environment is impacting the players Every time I start to work with the rider doesn't mean it doesn't matter if it's a elite rider or or or a green rider I tell them first we're going to talk about the game. When you understand how the game is impacting us, then we can start talking about you or myself. And, and you ask me, how do I help them? First of all, is to create awareness to things that they're already dealing with, but we're, we're, we're kind of projecting it from a different angle, and understanding not about how your horse is behaving. It's not about how you're riding.

It's about how we condition ourselves to approach the moment that we're going to ride our horse.

How, [00:11:00] how we, we're not, we're not just grinding to be at our best. It's not about hustling to be at our best. It's, you know, there's this understanding that, uh, for example, Gabriel Borges talks a lot about, it's about mastering the pressure and release. And pressure and release, when you think about it, it's not just about how you ride your horse.

It's also about how we treat our journey. It's about, you can't always push, you can't always, you know, try to, to bring in the most out of you. It's actually finding the optimal balance, the optimal balance that leads for growth and growth in your performance, growth in your well being

and, you know, in the general, uh, connection between them.

Sarah: Are there any techniques to use, um, or rhythms in training or anything like that, that would help find that kind of balance?

Gil: Yeah. You know, the answer is yes. There's, there's, there's many techniques that we work [00:12:00] through that, you know, I've been developing over the years and they're part of the program, but the question is the technique is for what? Okay. You know, if you want to kind of share with me a specific challenge, we can talk about a specific technique. Um, I can, I can give you a small example that, um, a technique that I'm a big fan of. And the world of the general performance world is, big believers in that is that visualization exercise. You know, visualization is, is a technique of some would say a low level of meditation. That helps us to train our subconscious to become our conscious mind when we are in performance mode.

And visualizations are techniques that we use prior to show time. And we live the moment of performance again, and again, and again, and again. And it's not just about, you know, what's my [00:13:00] plan to do in the show pen It's about being there, feeling it, hearing it, even smelling it. You know, like, being in that moment, not just that one time, but many, many times before. And this is one of the techniques that I can tell many use, you know, because it also helps you to prepare yourself to perform, but to also to become more centered, more balanced, and more aware of.

the purpose of where you're heading

to.

Sarah: So here's, another scenario that I see a lot. And I want to see what you would, how you would help someone through this, especially in cow work. I mean, this is going to apply to in the reining which is, you know I know your wheelhouse, but, um, when you're going through the herd, when you're cutting, you have to have kind of, You have to have your vision cast over the whole situation, right?

You can't just be staring at one cow because that one cow may actually be the worst cow to pick, uh, when you're trying to cut it and you need to keep [00:14:00] an eye on, you know, five, six, seven others that could be that could turn out to be good picks too. And so you have to be able to be thinking and shifting your thoughts, shifting your gaze, and kind of also keeping half an eye on your horse and, um, being focused on your task, but also having a lot of things in your field of vision, right?

So how do you help someone who maybe is, is, Either overwhelmed by that or, um, can, is only used to watching one thing at a time. So let's say staring at their horse's head and maybe the one cow in front of their horse and losing focus, losing track of what's going on elsewhere in

the arena.

Gil: It's really depends on, uh, the, the the tempo of the specific riders. Some riders will rush for the outcome and separate that cow and their trainer will tell them to slow down. Um, some riders become a little bit hesitated. and they become slow, [00:15:00] and they're questioning the situation, always doubting, is this the right cow?

And, and they're not picking until the last moment, and Is, then, what they maybe would do originally, for what they planned, I would say that. Okay. So, so there's a thought though. There's two things I could do. I can say about that. One is committed actions. We find the entrance to the herd as something that can be a breaking point.

And I say a breaking point from my perspective, it's a make it or break it situation. If it, if stepping into that herd can put me into trouble, okay, I need to use as much as I can my automatic action approach. That allowed my mind lead the path and I'll explain overthinking some a situation Under the heat of performance can in many cases lead [00:16:00] us to make the wrong decisions if we rush or if we hesitate what we need to do is trust our skills Trust our skills and say that if if I am a person that is tend to rush I will I need to, to give myself the goal of slowing down one tempo, two tempos, but then trusting what I know to do.

If I'm a person that tends to overthink it and doubt which one is the right cow, Use the training to help me to pick a cow and commit to it. So this is, this is from, I would say from the mental aspect, how I prepare myself for it.

The second thing I could tell you is that. The sentence I say that our body never lies, but our mind doesn't always listen, you [00:17:00] know, and, and I think that a lot of times we try to control the themes with horses by riding our horses.

I'm not even talking about the cows yet, because you can anticipate the cows behavior up to a certain level, but then they can, you know, react and change and many things could happen. Okay? The horse, you feel the horse with you. The, I would believe that the basic demand when I walk into the herd, that the horse will be with me. Okay? And a lot of times, we feel something, okay? But we still ride from what we think. And not necessarily from what we feel. So one of the most common, I would say instruction you would give to your riders is pick up your eyes. You say it all the time, but when we say pick up your eyes, it's feeling like a mechanical approach.

But the truth is that it's

mental

because when you look [00:18:00] down, it's a reflection of, uh, I would say of not trusting, and it's not that you don't trust your horse, you don't necessarily trust yourself to feel what the horse is telling you. So picking up your eyes is actually a trust statement. That communicate with my horse through my feel, and I don't need to see it. Not only that, if I develop this ability to a certain level, my eyes use, uh, uh, You know, can watching the herd and feeling the horse.

Sarah: That's good stuff. Um, So going back to the leadership concept, um, how much of that is involved in showmanship, uh, when people maybe struggle to show their horse, you know, they know how to ride their horse, but, um, when they get into the show pen, they're worried about everything, but.

showing their horse. They're, they're worried about how they [00:19:00] look and how the horse is acting and what if it spooks or anything like that, but they really just need to be showing actively showing and engaging in showmanship.

Gil: I think that performance is the outcome. It's the outcome of a long process of training, practicing, preparing, traveling. And I think that in the end, it's the expression of, we can call it leadership or, or, or, you know, or your showmanship. Okay, I think the leadership is actually how you approach this journey.

The beautiful thing about the sport, the the cow horse cutting, reining, show jumping, that it's, uh, you know, when you think about other sports, so a competitive athlete has a short Fairly short time for his career, you know, it could be 10 years, 15 years, 20 years if you are, you know, I mean, [00:20:00] supernatural athlete, but for us, you know, I mean, The moment you get on the horse, we start competing, we can keep on competing until we can't ride anymore. Nobody will judge your leadership. It's just a perspective to look at it. But when, when I'm talking about leadership, I'm actually putting more pressure on the rider, not necessarily to succeed as a competitor, but to stick to their values, to understand what is their purpose. You know, horse shows comes and goes. I always, I always challenge riders and ask them, who won the Futurity three years ago? And everybody scratches their heads like, ah, you know, maybe not. Nobody really remembers the scores. You know, of course there's monumental performances that everybody remembers and they're part of history.

But in general, you know, horse shows comes and goes and all levels and everything. You know, it's, it's, it's very fast [00:21:00] paced. But purpose is something that, that, that stayed with you and standing behind the values. That's why, uh, I told you I was listening to your your, your podcast about ethics. And it's really found the place that I said, you know, to find our values in the journey.

And I'm talking about when I try to When I think about values, it's not only, in my perspective, only the ethics of the sport because I think it's a great topic to talk about. But I think it's, for me, as a value, as a human, as a competitor, um, as a team player because, you know, we're never by ourselves. There's a lot of people supporting this thing. And I think that, purpose and value go these are, uh, the critical factors of, leadership. the performance is the outcome of it is a chance for you to to test it. [00:22:00] It's a chance for you to, to, to, really, I mean, put it, put it on the line and see how the hard work you put up to this point plays out into

performance.

Sarah: So really it's, it, it's, not at all about putting yourself out there for, to figure out what other people think as much as to test yourself and see how it goes, for growth

purposes.

Gil: I think that we all care what people think, okay? It's, it's, it's natural. I have, I have my, my, the core philosophy of my program is based on two words. Practice ugly. And, and the idea of practice ugly is, is based on this challenge that triggers us that we care what people think. Overcoming that empowers us being, being able to overcome that, that challenge, then you're free,

Sarah: Hmm.

Gil: you know, then you set free and then the game [00:23:00] is becoming you. And your horse against

you against them,

Sarah: so how do you work on that? How do you get

better at ignoring, or at least not worrying about what other people think as much singularly focusing on your

Gil: task?

 So, so the idea of the practice ugly method is based on three core values that will help you understand how you practice what you just asked. So the first core value is be real. You know, we're self aware of our image. Every time we walk in that arena, I'm not even talking about the show, pen I'm talking about the practice session three days before I'm going to show.

And in this arena, there's 30 horses with me, riding with me, and maybe 50 people sitting up in the stands, and everybody's watching. And it's not because it's a good or bad thing. That's part of the culture of our sport. That's one of the challenges that are beautiful, in [00:24:00] my opinion, in this sport. So when you step in that arena, there's, I don't know, a hundred pairs of eyes watching each other, and we are very much self aware of our image. And our instinct, or our first intention, is to, you know, control our image. You know, it doesn't matter if it's a friend, or a competitor, a future client, or just a well known individual. We care for their opinion. We want them to think that I'm a good rider with a good horse, and we deserve respect. But the truth is, and that's no secret for any person that will listen to this podcast, and is riding horses, it's never perfect. There's strength, there's weaknesses, your horse has strength, your horse has weaknesses. I'll tell you a secret. We have strength and we have weaknesses. So the first core value of practicing ugly is be real. [00:25:00] Practice ugly is not about what you do with your horse, but it's a weakness oriented approach. When you feel something that needs to be, to, to be worked on when you are in that practice session in that in the heat of the public environment, you know, highly competitive in public environment and you feel that weakness that you need to work on, you have the opportunity. You can choose to ride ride around it, you know, guard the horse from showing it, maybe change the plans in a way that doesn't look bad.

We've all been there, but the first thing The first core value is to be real is the weakness oriented approach said if there's something needs to be, uh, to be worked on. Go for it. So you allow yourself to expose your weaknesses, to be authentic. And that leads me to the second core value. When you choose to be real, and you feel that weakness [00:26:00] coming up, and you choose to work it, In the highly competitive public environment, then you become confident in your ability to, to work on the thing, you know, the thing didn't start this morning.

It's probably been with you for a while. Like I told you, the show, pen it's the outcome but now you're confident you are, you are, you know, with the acceptance to go and work on it now, because, you know, it's going to help you

When you're going to go show. Improving that weakness by 1 percent added to your strength will higher the chances for you to peak perform.

So you become, if you choose to be real, you become confident about your ability to work on that thing that needs to be worked on and comfortable to do it in this highly competitive and public environment. And that leads to the third core value that says Best teams win. I don't believe that the most talented horse is going to win the show.

Neither the best rider. Best teams do. And when we're covering things up, [00:27:00] when we're worrying about the image in the practice sessions, we all know where it's going to pop out

in the show pen. But if we choose to let it be exposed in the practice session, we higher the chances for it to improve and maybe overcome that challenge by the time we go

show now I did not invent that. I just observed the best riders and they mastered to practice ugly. Think about the best riders. You know, you, you see the work. If they need to work on something, they'll be working on it.

So Actually when you think about it to practice ugly, it's the secret. One of the secrets of the best riders in the equine industry, cow horse reining. Show jumping, cutting, whatever. So to be real, if we choose to be real, we become competitive and public environment. And that will lead us to the [00:28:00] highest core value. Says best teams

Sarah: I like that. And we, that'll really make us accountable to, to, I guess, go back to your leadership point to be a leader for the team

rather than just

putting all the pressure on the

horse, they're, like you said, they're not there to win. They're not really, they don't even really necessarily care if they get ridden that day.

Gil: Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's about riders and horses and the connection,

you know, the, the, teamwork between the rider and the horse. That's what at the end of the day is tested, the communication, the flow of communication. A horse has a certain level of talent, you know, It could be an amazing horse. It could be an average horse and his abilities, but a great mindset, you know, I mean, you cannot overachieve to your horse's peak ability.

But. It's a lot of work just to get the most out [00:29:00] of your horse, you know, to reach that peak ability. And that is takes, you know, to take a lot of the, like I said, when you talk about the pressure, it's not to take only the pressure of riding off your horse is mostly taking the pressure of the competitive life you live in because that they have nothing to do with that. And the whole idea of the practice ugly the horse has no clue. About the publicity,

Sarah: Right.

Gil: but as the riders, if we break through that glass ceiling, suddenly allows us to get closer and more connected to the horse. And that is mental toughness. That, that is, that is real resilience, you know, and resilience is not necessarily the most, um, sexy or attractive or even visible for the observer, but it's highly sensible for our horses.

Sarah: What does resilience look like in the show pen? Or even just on a day to day level with a, with a a

rider

Gil: I'll, I'll, I want to ask you,

I mean, what's your opinion about it

And then [00:30:00] I'll, I'll, I'll kind of.

You know, reflect

on that. I'm curious

Sarah: I

think a lot of it is, the ability to take criticism well, um, the ability to filter criticism and, you know, recognize that some critics don't matter and other critics do matter. Um, and maybe just being able to keep going, even when you don't feel like it, you know, so discipline probably plays a role in there too, in

resilience.

So, I don't know, those are just some

initial thoughts.

Gil: Yeah, I I first of all I can relate to all of them and and but I want to challenge something here that I think This is this is actually a very interesting point that lately i've been digging. Um, Deeper into it and I haven't talked a lot about it In any public forum yet, it's just with my riders and, you know, the closed group, so I'll be happy to kind of open it up, but For me, resilience is mastering [00:31:00] the pressure and release. Now, we communicate with horses through pressure and release. We learn that, I don't know, the third time we get on the horse? Our coach teaches us, you apply pressure, the horse gives you whatever you're asking for, and then you release, right? But I think that it's it's, it's a mis, mis, uh, perception about pressure and release. I think we live in a world that encourages you at least verbally or culturally to grind, to hustle. You got to go work for it. If you don't want, even if you don't want, if you're tired, you always got to push, push, push, push, push, you know, and if you do good enough, you allow yourself to rest.

You know, you allow yourself to take a break. And even when you take a break for us, you know, Horse people, usually the brakes are so short, we have to go back to it and push, push, push, push again. What I understood about [00:32:00] resilience is actually the balance. I think that pressure, applying pressure, is, is a certain, I would say skill, Okay. And when I say skill, skill is something that you do almost automatically. Okay. Then you don't have to put a lot of thoughts into it. So, so hustling and grinding, it's something that is very natural. Everybody will tell you that if you want to be someone go and grind and hustle and work for it.

But what they didn't teach us, Is the skill of release.

Sarah: That's

so true.

Gil: So, so, so what I'm saying here, it's, it's not even, it resilience is

never even between me to the world. It's between me for myself and, and it's not about work hard and then take a good break. Release is an act. If you want to go and be able resiliant we're talking about doing something for a long period of time. It's not just resilience. It's just not a daily thing. That's what [00:33:00] happened. Oh, he showed resilience today. Thank you. But when we think about resilience, we're actually looking at someone or a situation or whatever and saying, Oh, you know, their mental resilience allows them to be in those high levels for a long period of time. So, the idea of pressure, the skill is something that is obvious. They teach us how to work, how to grind, how to push, but the masters of many fields, they know also how to understand and, and, Execute the skill of release and what is release. It's not just taking a break. For me it's like speaking and listening. Pressure is to speak and releasing is listening, you know?

Sarah: So what's an example of

that in the show pen? Or when you're, when you're

showing for

long periods of time

anyway.

Gil: I [00:34:00] think it's a great question. Um, being able to adapt. In the show pen, be able to adapt in the warmup before you go to the show pen. So this is, this is something that sometimes we just feel that we go for it. And then we analyze it after we're out, you know, sweaty, taking our chaps off and watching the video. But when I watch my riders, you know, from the corner of the stands, you know, I never stand on the fence. I like to stand up top because I feel that it's better, you know, a perspective.

You can see the big picture from, from, from, from the, the, the far sidelines. But I'm very proud of them when I see something happening and they adapt themselves to the situation. Now, the only way for yourself to adapt is to be present enough to be, to see it coming and [00:35:00] changing in the right moment. Now you as a, you as a, objective observer that watching the run, you probably didn't even see what happened to that guy.

You're like, wow, that was a beautiful maneuver. But that rider, they know what they did. So when you're asking about this, this resilience the idea of pressure and release, if you just like push, push, push, a lot of times you're going to miss a lot of things.

But they know how to push, but they allow the horse to be there, to listen to the horse, that when they're going to come again, They're helping that horse be, you know, maximize their athletic abilities in that show pen

Sarah: That makes a lot of sense. So, um,

along those lines, and I'm sure you've encountered this a lot, cause you work with some of the top riders in the NRHA, um, and I'm sure probably elsewhere too, but, um, it's. For me, I am kind of an extreme [00:36:00] extremist in a sense where I, I do grind, right? And I, and if I'm not, if I'm resting or if I'm doing anything that seems slow or inefficient, um, I am really hard on myself. about that and, and feel like I need to be doing something productive, right? I need to be making progress. And that kind of personality type leads to burnout. Right? Cause you just, you go too big, too hard for too long and you just can't take it.

So how, how do you counsel people who are like that, who are kind of extremists to appreciate and utilize that

release element

to, and even

recognize it in the first place?

Gil: Yeah. The answer, I have to be sincere. I don't know. You know, it's, you can't, you can't have the answer for everything, but just like I said, we created awareness to it now.

Probably you and myself and most of the [00:37:00] people that are, you know, horse people. We are, on a certain degree, we are, you know, hyperactive. That's why we're not Sitting behind a desk all day on the computer. We gotta, move. we gotta we gotta feel the sun, the, dust, the the the, the, the, the rain, everything. We gotta be out there with our horses. It's very hard for us to sit down and to slow down.

Like you said, I push until I burn out. Now. As a statement, while you were saying it, it was already something that you knew it's not what you want to be At your next round, you know what I mean?

You don't even want to grind now until you'll burn out again. The question is, what can I do different? What I do know is that release time is not taking a break from pressure.

It's doing things, that are not necessarily the exact same thing, like applying the [00:38:00] pressure. That when you are going back at it, you're using the tank you filled from the release.

So for example, you can take this podcast as a great example, in my opinion. So you ride horses all day. Okay. You're out there at a ranch and you work with your horses, but sitting here now and talking to someone doesn't matter who that person is or investing the time for something else.

From my perspective, that sits in the release mode, because you're going against, you're going against the grind. So it's a release mode, but it has values that maybe just from this conversation I got you some thoughts to go to go get you motivated to ride.

Got you motivated to, to to plan your next, your next season. so so that's a great way [00:39:00] that came up to you to, to develop the release mode. It's a skill. It's a being, it's not just the disappearance of hard work.

It's not like you work hard and then you rest for, for example, I'm addicted to cell phones. You know, we're all on cell phones all day. Right. and and I say, and I say that. Going down to my cell phone, being stuck on my cell phone now, it's not pressure, not release. It's somewhere in the middle. It's disconnecting. That's why when you do something and then you sit there after you've been half an hour on your cell phone and then you go back to work and don't really feel that you rested or or you gain energy. You just tell yourself, stop, stop stop with your cell phone. So resting is not just not doing what you do and each

individual is

different.

Sarah: So maybe

being fully present in other things that you're doing instead of, because when you're on your cell phone, you're not, you're, [00:40:00] you're, you're not really fully present. Your brain's kind of all over the place,

Gil: Yeah. I think to be present, it's the, one of the most, hardest place to be. That is an unnatural place for human beings to be is present in the moment. We're always somewhere chasing going the future and living with our pack on our shoulders. Okay? We're always on this timeline of thinking forward and backwards. But there's a creature that is a master of being present, and that's our horses. Our horses don't know to be anywhere but in the present time. I don't believe horses care about the future and their past is part of them, but they're very good at letting go of their past. I mean, they have traumas. They remember things don't get me wrong, but you know, the horse wakes up in the morning, eat, drink, poops, repeat. I mean, he don't have plans for today. He's just, just being. [00:41:00] And this is something when going back to where we started about the leadership, that's the place to learn from them how to be present.

Use them as a demeanor for us to become that much present. And it's not a switch, it's not like it's on or off. It, it's a constant change at 1%,

you know, of 1 percent learning, 1 percent improving, 1 percent changing. Um, and, and so, so the idea of being present, I, I truly believe that it's an unnatural place for us to be, but every time we meet it, of being in the present moment,

then

magic happens.

Horsemanship

happens.

Sarah: That's great. It just struck me how initially when people think of, sports psychology or mental coach, um, they're thinking of how to help me not be nervous. Right? And it's so much more than that. There's so much to this [00:42:00] that I mean, probably it obviously involves being nervous.

Nervous and handling that. But it is like, that's just a fraction of what you do and what you

help people with,

Gil: I always tell people, you know, like focus and confidence and motivation. These are, you know, the, the outcome of our work. It's not the goals.

You know, the question rather is horse people in general, you don't need to motivate it. them we're overly motivated to do what we do on the verge of addiction, but I think that focus and confidence are outcome of a process that you can choose to whatever.

Um, level you want to take it. You know, one of the beautiful things about our sports, that it's not only a professional sport, it's also a non professional sport, but at the same time, it is highly competitive for both divisions. The non pro [00:43:00] fields, the non professional field is as competitive as the open field. and and I have a very, very good client and friend. She's a non pro. And she told me, Gil, you got to remember that most of your non pros in this sport are A type individuals, are people that did something in this life that they can afford themselves to have horses and compete. And the biggest challenge you take an A type individual, And this game makes us feel small.

It humbles us. The horse does it, you know, it doesn't matter. It doesn't care how much, you know, what is your background, how much money you got in the bank? What is your stats? You think they know nothing about it. And there's something great about that that the whole idea of this sport that humbles us. That's also what motivates us always to be better [00:44:00] and to grow and to learn. Remember, I truly believe that horse shows comes and goes, but, but values and purpose, they, they stay, they stick. And, and you don't have to chase a world championship to, to have a purpose or value. You can have your one horse and understand the purpose of what you do and live through your values.

And that will be fulfilling. it's not going to be easy Nobody's here in this sport because it's easy task. There's a lot easier sports than that, but that's exactly the reason we're in it. So, so, so just the idea of like we said, the, the initial thoughts about confidence, focus. These are

things that add.

They're not the go to goals. The go to

goals are two things. One, understand the game.

The mental game of this sport. And once you understand the game, choose your game, choose how you're going to play it [00:45:00] and,

and,

you know, start walking

your

journey.

Sarah: That's great. Good stuff. Um, So when you brought up the non pro thing, a question that popped into my head is, do you see much difference between the struggles of the non pro, generally speaking, versus the struggles of open riders?

Gil: Definitely. Definitely. I think look, I think that, um, professional riders, it's a lot of times the experience of make it or break it. I think that professional riders, it's not just about succeeding in the show pen. It's also about financial stability. It's a hard business. You know, people don't get rich, maybe some people do, but in general, this wide industry, if you choose to be a horse trainer or a professional in this, in this field, [00:46:00] you, you did not choose necessarily to, make a lot of money.

That's not your initial decision to go in this field because you love horses. You love to compete. You love this lifestyle. These are the reasons. Okay. And I think that you won't see many riders that are very, very successful, but struggle financially. Okay, it has to be always a balance of growth, you know, for them to that the level of their competition has to be always based on a financial stability.

So how their business goes, how, how their, their, uh, financial, um, framework is built. And this is something that is a very, very big factor for open riders, you know, cause they work very, very hard. They, we sacrifice their life to it and it's a hard life to make a living. But I think when they, when they go through it and they start to have a good business, then you [00:47:00] can see it right away in their performance. Then they can, you can see the magic that they can bring out in their horsemanship. So what I'm saying here is the challenges they're dealing with competition are directly reflected to the backstage of the financial stat of their business. Okay. And if they have a solid business, a solid thing that they're standing on, they'll be able to perform to their peak.

If not, a lot of times, um,

will play out in

challenging timeframes

of performance.

Sarah: is that 'cause they're worried about getting, about

losing more money or

losing clients

or anything like that?

Gil: Yeah, that, that horse show, the other horse show will not change your life. It won't just, you know, make your phone ring non stop. Like, non stop. You build a good business and you perform and it goes together. It's not that, that, that, and that we need to learn it. And look, I'm, I see lately the great, great professionals from the industry [00:48:00] that are talking about and building programs like business programs that really, I'm really impressed by that because I think that's a game changer for, for for a lot of upcoming, uh, individuals. So that's that's for the, for the trainers. So I think that their success in the show pen based on the stability of their business. Not always, of course. There is extensions, you know. I think for non pros, it's a little bit from the other side. A lot of times we spend a lot of money in this sport, and We don't have

fun. We feel that we don't have fun enough for how much I'm spending. And in my opinion, the, the, um, the nonpro field, it's like I said, it's, it's a group of A type individuals that,

The challenge of this game is self improvement. [00:49:00] You know, there's a small group of people that grew up in this business, and they're still non professionals. A lot of them that grew up in this business, at some point they became professionals.

Okay? There are some that as you know, they have this system around them that helps them to be the best non-professional riders. But the other, you know, the majority of the people, people in a certain age chose to conquer this dream and they want to buy a horse Maybe now they have five or 10 of them, but they bought a horse and they start showing, and I think that, you know, you, you start to have fun.

Not when you win. You start to have fun when you understand how better You got from

last year.

You know, and then, and then, and then it motivates you and you keep on learning. And then you look back and you're like, wow, you know, look at that. And then you have a really nice horse and you really succeeding in the show pen and you, maybe you, you find a great match with the trainer and you guys, are building, a great thing.

And you're supporting the trainer by giving them open horses. Then you get your non pro horses and you get to travel. [00:50:00] But, but the. The non pro riders is really, you know, not even about beating myself, but becoming better version of myself as a rider,

as a

horseman, you

know, that

it's a free choice

that I

Sarah: Hmm. So it's less even about fun and it should be more about satisfaction maybe, you know, where it's not, not quite even as basic as fun, it's something kind of

deeper

Gil: exactly. Exactly. 100%. I think, I think taking fun, you know, going on a trail ride is fun, you know, going for, you know, for the NRCHA, uh, Derby. It's, you know, it's a challenge. It's not just fun. It's, it's a professional challenge, a competitive challenge, a financial challenge, you know. The choice of the competitors to go there is not just to go there and have

fun, you know, you want [00:51:00] to go there and, and be, and, and ride at your best, and, and it might be hard, but you know when it becomes fun, I mean, it's funny, like I said, it's, it's about enjoyment, you can enjoy the happening, You can enjoy success, you can enjoy the challenges, you can enjoy the peaks, and you can enjoy the valleys. And if you hit a point that you can enjoy it, so in that moment, usually you feel in

the right place.

Sarah: I like that. Um, so another question for you. I, I've seen a lot of, uh, mental coaching and sports psychology in the English world and not as much in the Western. Why do you think that is? And do you think that maybe is

changing?

Gil: Yeah. Um, the truth is, [00:52:00]

I have to say the same thing. I, I didn't, I wasn't born as a, as a, as a mindset coach. I'm a competitor. I'm a horse trainer. I had my training business and when I find curiosity, you know, in it, I Googled and I start to look around and I really didn't see that many. And I did meet a couple, but I went, okay.

So I, uh, I went to other sports psychologist that I was curious about it. And I sat there and I met a mental coach from the football field. Um, and he was well known, very, very successful. And if we talked there for 55 minutes and for 55 minutes, I just explained him about my sport. I mean, and I left it with the feeling that he's the master.

Of, of what he does in football, but it's, it's, he doesn't understand my world. It's, it's, you know, it is competitive life here and there, but it's, it's two, two unique realities and [00:53:00] very distinct from each other. And, um, and that, and that kind of, um, kind of shed light over something that I said, okay, You know, our sports is, is, there is something happening. I don't know yet. And that's where I start, you know, studying for that, getting my, my, my diplomas and, you know, my degrees. And, and I went into the sport, but I can tell you that even, even what I do today, um, I truly feel that it's like kind of, Walking with the machete and, and, and, and, and cutting off the bush, you know, and exactly the trailblazer.

And, um, I hope there's going to be more. I think that, that I think that there's so many riders around the world. And I think that there's, there's room for a lot of knowledge And there's room for a lot of people that can have them. And not just [00:54:00] because, you know, Um, it's needed or unneeded. Look, at the end of the day, you ask me why it happened in the English more than in the Western.

I think when you think about Western sports are fairly young, you know, we're talking about, um, 100 years, 150 years of, of, you know, with the shift of the cowboys. to, to, to competitive riding in the Western and in the, in the English field, show jumping, dressage, I mean, hundreds of years.

It goes back in the day. It's an Olympic sport. So, it's, it's, it's more a little bit more, they're maybe a bit ahead of us, um, in that aspect, um, But I think there's also, there's a lot also in, in the western and coming slowly. And I tell you what I truly believe. I believe that it's not if you work with the mindset coach and not, um, one of the biggest projects that I'm working on today is is developing what I call like the team around me. [00:55:00] And when you think about it in our sport and the question is sports, um, your horse, It has a trainer, it has a farrier, it has a vet, it has a chiropractor. I mean anything that your horse will need is

Sarah: Yep.

Gil: he's going to get it. There's no doubt. He has a whole team to take care of his wellbeing, to help him reach his peak performance.

Now think about the riders.

What I'm trying to, to develop today is what is the team around me? I want to I want to see Those um, Those individual competitive riders having a team of individuals that focus on them

and it could be it could be the mindset. It could be physical. It could be many, many different. It could be nutrition wise. I don't know. It's going to be developed, but I hope that in 5 10 years from now, every competitive rider worldwide will have a [00:56:00] A group of professionals around them that they will use their assistance to help them be part of their

team

and help them Be at our best because well being and high performance will always go

together.

Sarah: Yeah.

That's huge. And I think that, uh, I mean, at least from my perspective, I've been around a lot of fellow trainers and people that are a lot higher level than I am. And you, you keep saying wellbeing and. You know, I feel like a lot of horse people don't know how to be well, they're just kind of like half exhausted, uh, had a little too much alcohol maybe, or, you know, super stressed all the time or running from one place to another.

I mean, are definitely not what I would call balanced, healthy. People and, and so I, and they're performing, you know, they're performing at a high level. So it makes you wonder how much higher level they [00:57:00] can be if they were functioning at a, in a healthy way.

Gil: Yeah,

I think, you know, I don't think the people around you can tell you what to do, but I think you can choose the people that help you improve and master what you're interested to master.

That's the truth.

You know, that's the truth. It's, it's, you know, we, we all, nobody's perfect. Like I said earlier, I mean, we all have our, our virtues and we all have our faults, but but I think that in this sport, If you have a team around you that is interested in your best. you know, conditioning, helping you condition yourself to your best. Um, I think that it's a win win situation. You know, you win from it, your horse wins from it and you know, and together you kind of reach the goals and the purpose you're heading towards. And you know, for me as a [00:58:00] mindset coach, I always tell my riders, you know, and everybody knows me that I never believe that we need to fix something that is broken.

And that's not my job. I'm curious about the top 10%. I, I believe that a lot of the riders are where they want to be when they might reach their 85 or 90 percent of their potential. But sometimes those top 10 percent from the, from the 85 to the 90 percent of your ability, these are each each, each percent is, is, is, is a great challenge to work for. And we're all mastering our craft, you know, trying to be the best form of ourselves, the most balanced, the most present, the most competitive, the best horse people we could be. And, you know, if we kind of always find the optimal balance for us

and find the right

people around us,

so

great

Sarah: Yeah, that's great. All right. Well the final thing is if somebody wants to get involved, um, or have your help or, uh, [00:59:00] learn more about what you do, how would they do, that? how would

they go

about it?

Gil: Great. So they can find us pretty much everywhere. Um, on our website, first of all, mental dash athletics dot com. Um, on instagram, you can write mental athletics and on facebook, mental athletics. Um, you can reach out in any form. You can text us on facebook messenger, instagram, send us an email. Um, There's one on one training. There's also on the website, um, the virtual course, we, we built a virtual course that based on the five foundations of peak performance mindset, that really self taught. And if somebody is kind of interested, but doesn't know yet, if they want to go and do the full experience, the full thing, that's a great opportunity to go and, and, and, and go through this course and it has all the resources. really cool [01:00:00] techniques there. Uh, performance techniques, practice spirit techniques, preparation techniques. So that's on the website. And if you're interested to, to hear more about, What we do, what I do, you can just text me and I get back to you. I try to get back to you as fast as I can. And I'm always keen to meet more people. I would say my goal is to reach a hundred million. I start with one person to 10 to a hundred to a thousand, 10 000. a million, 10 million, 100 million people that to to, to spark this light and understand that it's horse ability, rider's ability and rider's mindset. These are the three foundations of your peak performance.

And you know, we're here to invest in ourselves as much as we invest in our horses. And like I said, a few minutes ago, it's a win win situation. I'm doing good to me. My horse benefits from it, I [01:01:00] benefit from it, and it shows up in the show. So, you know, that's, that's the life mission.

Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. If you enjoyed it or found it thought provoking, I'd be so grateful if you could take a moment to rate and review the show wherever you listen to the podcast. I'd also love to hear your thoughts, what resonated with you, challenged you, ideas for future episodes, and what you'd like to hear more about.

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