Let Yourself Want More: How to Use Your Desires to Create Next Level Recovery

Episode 27

You're a woman in recovery and ready to finally do the thing you’ve always wanted to do, and I can help you make it happen. Book your free 1:1 Next Level Recovery Breakthrough Call, and I’ll guide you to get clear on what success in your next level of recovery looks like, identify what’s really holding you back from having it now, and map out the next steps to doing the damn thing + creating a life that lights you all the way up.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for wanting more in recovery — more joy, more freedom, more money, more expression, more life — this second episode in the Passion and Possibility: HOT July challenge to fall madly in love with your own life is officially your permission slip.

You didn’t recover to live a life that feels flat, forced, or just fine.
You’re here to feel fired up.
You’re here to fall madly in love with your own life.

In this episode, we dive into:

✨ Why your desires aren’t distractions — they’re directions
✨ How passion and purpose are more connected than you think
✨ Why you can’t be aligned and deeply disconnected at the same time
✨ 3 simple ways to reconnect to what lights you up
✨ How to use desire as your compass for next-level recovery

This isn’t about hustle or pressure — it’s about listening to the voice inside you that says more is possible… and being brave enough to say YES and take the next right action.

🔥Recovery Reflection prompts:
 – What do I truly desire right now?
 – Where have I been playing small or suffocating what I actually want?
 – What’s one thing I can do this week to honor my desire?

💌 We Don't Do This Alone
Join the community inside Girls Who Recover: A Community of Miracles on Facebook — I’m there every day in July to help you reconnect with your fire and design a life you’re obsessed with.

Drop in, tune up, and let’s go create your next chapter — led by passion and built on possibility.

Hey gorgeous.

I love you.

I'm so proud of you.

And I believe in your ability to create a life you absolutely love.

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the Girls Who Recover podcast with Dana Hunter F, where incredible women just like you, go to transform life's biggest setbacks into your most powerful comebacks so that you can live a life you. Love. I'm your host, Dana Hunter Ella, transformational coach and founder of Girls Who Recover, and my mission is to pull back the curtain on our mistakes, failures, shame and personal disasters, and light the way for how to use those to create your biggest and most gorgeous comebacks. Follow the show now. Grab your iced coffee and turn up the volume for girls who recover. Let's light it up. Well, hello, gorgeous. Welcome back to week two and Passion and Possibility Hot July, our special miniseries that's designed to help you fall madly in love with your life in recovery. And I'm Dana Hunter Videla. You know me. And today we are diving into a really powerful question. What if your desire. Was the very thing leading you back to your purpose. We need to talk about why passion is not a luxury. It's literally an essential requirement, like water, like breath, like food. We need passion. To feel totally fulfilled and totally alive. We also need to be talking about how reconnecting to what lights you all the way up can literally change everything for you. If you are anything like the women that I coach and I trust, if you're here, I know you are. Chances are that like me, you've been taught to distrust what you desire to not to hesitate on what you want, to not go for it because maybe there's something wrong about it to second guess what you want or to at least at the minimum, to tone it down. Also, there's this fake news idea that we should just be grateful for what we have, even though there's something inside of us that's literally pulling us forward. Have you ever heard that or thought that I should just be grateful for everything that I have? And I wanna give you an example. I have talked to several women recently who, on the surface, superficially. Have it all and I'm gonna put have it all in quotation marks. And this is what it looks like. They're brilliant. They're making a bunch of money. They have big houses, they have swimming pools in their backyard. They have gorgeous families. I. They have on the surface everything that most people are dreaming and statement about. You know what I mean? But even women who have that sort of situation and circumstance are second guessing themselves and saying things like, well, I already have everything that I thought that I wanted. So what is it that's inside of me that's drawing me forward? And should I feel guilty about that is what they're really asking without asking. Uh, because I think I should maybe just be okay with what is because what is, and listen, if you're in recovery, you understand this. Like you literally are living a miracle. So it would make sense and no one would argue with you if you were to say like, Hey, I have this new life. I'm just really grateful for it. I'm just really grateful for it. And listen, there's nobody who's, who's gonna get behind gratitude like I am. A lot of you were a part of the Woman of Gratitude experience in, uh, November of last year. Gosh, I can't believe it's been that long, but we use gratitude as a tool to create more of what we would love in our lives. And gratitude literally is a rocket fuel for manifestation, for creation, for purpose, for alignment, for all those things. But the thing that doesn't work is when we say I should just. Be grateful. Oh hell yeah. You should be grateful. But we're not gonna stay in gratitude because we know we're not gonna stay ju in the the just gratitude. You understand the difference. You can be grateful and you can have it all. You can be grateful for your body and also desire to have a six pack like I do one day soon. We're gonna get that. You can't be grateful for your home like I was. Back in our old neighborhood, we used to live in this really fancy neighborhood now. It was a super small house that was very old. Should probably be torn down. But I kept thinking to myself, yes, I know we have three kids and a big man, husband, and some pets, but I should just be grateful to have this home'cause we live in such a nice, safe, fancy neighborhood. Okay. Deep inside of me that kept getting louder and louder and louder. I was like, yes, be grateful for that. And you can create a vision for an even bigger house where there's plenty of room. And I remember writing this down in my vision casting journal, so much room that the kids get lost and I have a house now that is so, that has so much room that the kids get lost. Now often they're hiding in a closet somewhere upstairs doing things they shouldn't be doing. Uh, like watching YouTube, which I know how I feel about that. But you understand what I mean? If I had just stayed in the 800 square foot house on top of my family because I wanted to be grateful for what I have, I would never have been available and expansive enough to be what? To welcome in. Yes, grateful. And there's more. You see what I mean? Yes. So we're gonna be done distrusting, not trusting what we want, not we're gonna be done, toning down what we would love and we're gonna be done. Just being grateful when our spirit is literally shouting or maybe whispering for something that more, and it's, it's available for you. I can't say that enough. It's all possible and it's available and. Capital D, you deserve it. You absolutely, your birthright is a hundred percent worthy and a hundred percent deserving, and there literally is nothing you can do to get rid of that. Okay? You just have it. It's like an STD that won't go away. It's just you'll have it and you wanna have it forever. It's, maybe that's tmi, but this is my podcast and I don't care. Okay? Here's the truth about passion. Here is the truth about desire. It is a doorway to your assignment here. It is the doorway to your purpose here, and nobody's ever gonna convince me that you were not born with a purpose. Those people who try to say, well, you don't have to follow your purpose. Everybody really doesn't have a purpose. Uh, yes you do. You have a very clear directive. You have a very clear assignment. You have a very specific purpose and I will get up on my soapbox and shout about it all day long. Like the people at the metro stop, you have an assignment here and the doorway to that assignment, the compass, the map to that assignment, to fulfilling it is what your spirit speaks to you when you ask for the question. What would I love? So we're coming back to desire again. We're gonna give ourselves permission to ask this big, gorgeous question. What would I love? Now, this is different than being obsessed. It's different than being addicted. It's different than being compulsive. This is literally spirit aligned desire. And I just did a Facebook Live in my gr in my, in my group. We're doing, of course, you're a part of this. This is a podcast, this is part of the podcast. This is part of the experience. In the Facebook group, I go live or and or write something every single day in July to help us all turn up the passion in our lives. So we're going, Meg Ryan, I'm so in love with my life. So people all around you are gonna look at you like they do at the woman I just interviewed from a podcast today, Rachel Fitzpatrick. I'm so excited for you to meet her and say. I will have what she's having, please, because that girl is lit up on her own life and so shall you be. You deserve to be totally lit up and totally in love with your own life in a Meg Ryan kind of way. You know what I mean? So. There is a deep knowing that there is something more and it's waiting for you and that you were made for it. Your spirit knows that. And it's the issue is that our mind gets in the way and the social structure and the patriarchy and the people that are should on us, which oftentimes it's me doing it to myself, are am I right? But there's this deep knowing that there is more for you and that it is possible. So when I say. It's all possible and it's all available. I know there is a part of you that says hell yes, there is hell yes, there. It is possible for me, and that's calling you forward. It's just my spirit mirroring yours. And passion and purpose are twins, and I'm gonna use the words purpose and assignment. Okay? We're talking about the same thing. Those two things are twins, because when you're not connected to one of them, the other one feels flat, it feels dead. So if you're not con connected to your passion, for example, if you're going through your life and you're like, I don't actually love any of this. Your life probably feels really flat, really routine shot. GBT said that we used the word beige. I was like, I love beige. I don't know if I wanna use that, but you know what I mean. This lukewarm life where you're just trying to go through day by day, one day at a time. And I love the phrase one day at a time, but it, that's not what it's designed to mean. Yes, one day at a time and can you love your day at a time? Can you get excited about your 24 hours? Can you fall madly in love? Around the sun today because if you don't, if you're not doing things that light you all the way up, your life probably feels flat. Another example is you can stay sober or whatever your version of recovery is, right? Like maybe you're not here for sobriety, maybe you're here for a different type of recovery. And there are many, and many of those are featured on my podcast. By the way. If you wanna be a guest, reach out. If you know somebody who has a really gorgeous setback to comeback story, wants to talk about it. Uh, I'm hosting someone really soon who reached out to me and she was like, I healed from Cancer Without Medicine. And I was like, okay, you're coming on. Right. So really miraculous, powerful setback to comeback stories. Where was I? Okay, you can stay sober or you can stay in your recovery lane, whatever your, whatever your program or whatever your foundation is. And you can even be functional. You can even be half functional, you can even be successful. And with all that, like some of the women that I just mentioned, you can still feel like you're not on assignment. You can still feel like a little bit lost. You can still wonder. Hey, listen, I know my life is really amazing, but is this it? Does it stop here? Should I just accept that this is as good as it gets?'cause it is good, right? Like if you're alive in recovery, you know that your life is good, but you don't have to stay with good. Was talking about the difference between therapy and coaching with a a, a friend of mine, actually, she was on the podcast this morning and therapy, which I love, and I have a personal therapist and I have a marriage therapist. I'm not sure that's what he calls himself, but you understand what I mean. I have multiple therapists. We go to our therapist, me and my husband, I'm gonna just speak for me right now. I go to my therapist. To transition from dysfunctional wherever the area is, to strong functional. You see what I mean? Right. I go to my therapist mostly when I need strong support moving from dysfunction, whether it's in my emotions or my relationship or my whatever is coming up. Anxiety, um, and moving to strong functional, now coaching. Is in my experience, both as having a coach and also being a coach, is to make the transition, the transformation from high functional to phenomenal, high functional, to phenomenal. And I think a lot of us get into recovery and we get high functional and we're like, oh, this, this is good, right? This is it. We're okay. We're making money. Maybe we got a married or a family, or we got a job. Like whatever it is. And now it's good. It's good and it's successful. I made it right, but there's not this feeling of my life is so effing good, I can't even deal with it. How good. It's, my dad used to say, and this is way before the company life is good, he would sign his letters like that. He used to write his letters and put a dollar in'em and say, life is good and the end. And uh, that's the way that we get to experience our 24 hours with this deep feeling of life is so. It's so good to me. It's so good from me. It's so good through me. And if we're not feeling that and we're in the middle of the cov recovery, we're in, we're missing something. We can't be, here's real talk, right? We're, we're missing something. And this is what I love about being a, a coach for women in recovery is making this move, this transition from you're doing good to how effing good can it get? How much more can you create? How good can you feel? How Meg Ryan can your life be? And you know what I mean by that? The truth is this, and I'm gonna speak truth, my truth. You cannot be depressed and on assignment aligned at the same time. One of my mentors says the opposite of depression is purpose. It's when you're on your assignment doing what you've been created to do. And if you don't know what that is, I need you to hit me up because that happens to me in my work in the world is working with women who live really good lives, but who are disconnected a little bit from their assignment, from their purpose. And we shift this one small thing. It all lights up. Because there's no way for you to live in your purpose, to be fully on assignment and to also feel disconnected from your fire. You can't do it. You can't have a both ant. I'm all about the both and experience, but you can't be living in your purpose, in love with your own life and also feel depressed at the same time. You can't, it's not possible. That's not why you recovered. You did not heal to go numb in a different way. You did not get a second chance, or for some of us, a hundredth chance at this new but miraculous life just to be survive in it. Okay? You were designed to thrive it. Thrive in it, and that is your birthright, and that is your directive. And that is your assignment. Your assignment is to thrive. You were made as a co-creator of your own experience, to lead in your own life, to love the parts of your life, to play, to have fun, to go on adventure, to speak out loud, to create, to dance, to do the things you love, to follow the compass at. What makes you feel totally alive. Passion is not a distraction from your recovery. It is a devotion to it. If you are fully recovered, you are passionate about living again. Living again, and not just being alive. Not just having a job, but having a job you love. Not just having a family, but having a family. You're obsessed with not just having a purpose, but having a fire lit under you. So expansively that you are dancing in the streets'cause it's so hot. Passion is a devotion to your recovered life. So you might be asking, um, I have what's up of that, please. So what do I do? How do I reconnect to it? I have three invitations for you this week, actually. Three and a half the half. One is if you are not in the Girls Who Recover Facebook group, get in there today please. I'm putting the link in the show notes. We're having 31 days. Of passion and possibility in July. Sorry, I just had to think like, are there 31 days in July? I dunno. We're gonna keep going till the till it goes to the next month. Okay. Jump in the Facebook group, come introduce yourself and start creating a passionate, limitless possibility. 24 hours with me and the group in starting today. You can do it today. Jump in today. Okay. So here are your three actual invitations. Number one. I want you to go back and remember what you loved before somebody else told you who to be or how to be or what to love. So sometimes that means going back to when you were a kid or when you were a teenager, or when you were a younger version of yourself and asking what was it that lit me up before I either burned it down like I did. Or before I started to started to, before you tried to prove something to somebody besides yourself, what lit you up? And maybe you can go back to your childhood. Don't do it if it's gonna cause you trauma. Girl, do not do that. The other thing is you can go through the timeline of your life and say, so for instance, uh, the thing, one of the things I have always loved is animals. I've always, I always grew up, grew up on a farm, obsessed with my animals. I like horses, I like dogs. I like cats. I mean, if it's got, if it purrs or barks or growls or rides, I. I am available for it. I'm obsessed. We were in, uh, Vancouver. This. I said to Brett, I said, I need to pet somebody's dog. And it was like I'd open up the invitation to the universe and so all of a sudden all these sweet Canadian people walk by with their dogs and they're all really kind in Canada as far as I know, as far as my experience shows in Vancouver specifically. So I said, can I please pet your dog? And a hundred percent of them said, absolutely. Also we went to this fair and there was a guy with a cat who let me pet his cat, and then also a woman with a huge yellow, oh, it was albino, but also yellow, a boa constrictor. And she said, absolutely, you can pet my snake. I was like, I'm available for all this. Okay. What is my point? I love animals. Now, this is not something that I, um. Gave up in recovery or gave up even my, oh man, my sweet animals. Even when I was right before I got sober, they were not well treated, but I still loved them. And so recovery has given me, uh, an even better opportunity to not just love animals, but love a lot of them and take really good care of the ones that I have. So my point here is go back through your life. Write down a few things or remember a few things that maybe you used to be in love with that lit you all the way up, but perhaps you sacrificed for some reason. Perhaps you quit on that thing that you did actually love. Um, this is something that my husband is experiencing right now, so, uh, I don't think he's really come out about it, but since you're here, I'll tell you, he is, has decided to make a career pivot and he's always wanted to be a, a therapist, a counselor. Funny, right? He's gonna be a therapist. I'm gonna be, I'm a coach. We're gonna, maybe we should go into business together. We tried that once. It was not super fun. So maybe No on that. But I'm really excited for him because when he first got sober, he had that path. He decided, I want to be a therapist. I wanna be a counselor. And he went into the field and started on this prac track of, he was in his thirties, he got his bachelor's degree. He was doing, um, whatever you do, getting the hours and having a mentorship or, I'm not sure the language of that, that track, but he was doing it. Then somebody, people kept telling him like, oh, there's no money in that, or like, you shouldn't work in that, people in recovery, blah, blah. And he listened, right? Because that's what we do. We're not awake to our own personal desires when we haven't been given. When we haven't given ourselves permission to get clear on what we would actually love, then we are susceptible to other people's bad ideas, even though they are from love, right? Like all these people, they give us terrible advice, love us, but they're projecting on us their own fears. So. They were afraid of him not making money or him not being traditionally successful. And so he stopped listening to his own desires. And since then, it has not been a fun experience for him in his career. He's never really felt connected or excited or he's had really good ideas, but he is never been on track, and I promise you, and it just happened recently, the moment he came to me and he was like, actually, I don't think I wanna do this. I think I wanna go back to where I started. Get credentialed and licensed, get my master's in to be a, a therapist or a counselor, and you should, you should have seen him, right? My, my job, my superpower is, I can tell if it's within 30 seconds now I feel like I've got it down to like 20 seconds. Whether you are doing what you are called here to do, I can tell you're lit up or you're not. If you're here for it or you're not, you're passionate or you're not, that just happens to be a skill. So just in case you wanna run the Litmus test, send me a dm. Let's get on a call. I can tell you, you probably already know, I'm not gonna tell you anything you don't already know, but what I can also do is link arms with you and support you. Into your purpose, your passion, your assignment, so that you can create a life that you do feel totally lit up by, because that is what you deserve. And I can tell that trajectory is set now for my husband because he is very excited to make the next steps and has already taken the, um, taken the next move. And guess what is happening for him. This happens for you too. When we do the same work, the universe opens up just like throws opportunities at you. And that's what's happened. So. He got clear, and then the universe was like, well, here's a job in the field. Whoop. Here's a program. Whoop, here's this, here's that. Here's a business plan. Here's a person, here's a mentor. And he had to do very little aggressive work on his own. He just had to get in line with his assignment aligned with his purpose, which is to support people to move from that area of dysfunction to high functional. So. Um, hugs. I don't know if you're listening. If I've, if I've said something like that wrong, let me know. I'll do right next to you. This is all new. I love sharing with you real time stuff. Okay, so assignment number one. Invitation number one. Go back and remember what you loved before you traded in for somebody else's opinion, or even for your own outdated opinion of who you actually are. Number two, and this is a today thing. Notice what lights you up right now. What makes you feel like, oh yes, I'm here for this. Right now. So pay attention. What'll get you talking with your hands to pay attention and what gets you excited and passionate in a good way? Okay? Not in a mad way. If you're mad at the world or you're mad at the president or you're mad at whatever like that, isn't it? Maybe it is it in the reverse, right? So, for instance, I don't even know if I wanna go here. I'm going, I'm, it's my podcast. I'm going for it. If you are pissed about the bill that just passed in the country, there's information there underneath that. Okay. So what are you passionate about? I. Does that mean you're passionate about human rights? Does that mean you're passionate about equity? Does that mean you're passionate about everyone having access to high quality healthcare or food? Does that mean that you're passionate about, uh, what does it mean that you're passionate about? So sometimes our anger does hold a key to what's more productive, which is where you wanna put your fire. So it makes a difference. Are you gonna put your fire? So my best friend, she gets more engaged than I am. So she is, she feels a lot of passion around the, uh, what's happening in the world right now. And so a lot of our conversations are, okay, you're lit up, you're angry about this, or This is terrible, dah dah, da dah. So what are we going to do so that we can channel that same energy, that same passion, that same fire in a way that is creative? The forces that you care about, equity, feminism, people eating, having support, having, having structures that actually support humans in the country. That's where we're, we're putting our energy. We're not gonna put energy behind complaining, condemning, or woe is our state of the world. Like, no, no, no, no, no. That's not effective. It's not productive. Maybe it makes you feel better for a hot second, but it literally lowers the consciousness of your whole life, so you can be done with that. We're gonna go back to say and ask and get curious about what sparks your light right now. What fuels fuels you with joy? What fuels you and fills you with purpose? What makes you feel electric? I'm starting to have this like light resonance in my body anytime I'm into something that I just absolutely loved. So I was in Canada, in Vancouver, we were in nature and my whole body was lit up and we heard music and I was like, yes, and we were eating. Really delicious food and connecting with people who live there and connecting with people at the conference, and I just felt so alive. That's data for you. Pay attention to your heart. Pay attention to your body. Pay attention to your hands. That's direction. And the third invitation is to let yourself want what you want. This one is everything. Let your desire be enough. Not because it makes sense to somebody else, not because it's productive or because you have to, or you deserve it because you work so hard or you don't have to justify what you would love. Let it be enough because it's yours. It came from your gut, your heart, your sh root chakra. If you want more travel or more beauty or have more impact or more money, that is not a problem. It's a pulse. It's a direction from your inner knowing, asking you to follow it. So these are your three invitations to how to reconnect, to what Lights you all the way up. One, remember what you loved before you conformed or let go or sacrifice. Number two, notice what lights you up right now. And number three, let yourself want what you want. You don't need a five-year plan, my girl. I just. I interviewed, I love meeting so many different people on the PA on this podcast. I interviewed a, a woman this morning who she's an executive pro project manager, and so she loves to plan things and project manage, manage things, and I feel like maybe I used to like that, but I have totally abandoned that in favor of being excited about a direction and an intention and a quick action. You don't need a five-year plan to get passionate about your life. You don't need a crystal ball to figure out what your calling is before you get started, start moving. You just need to start now with one small move. One next move, one right action and follow the next knowing. Follow the next. Breadcrumb the next, spark the next, yes, and let your passion lead and then watch what happens, because the universe is going to expand for you and start delivering everything that you want as long as you allow yourself to want it. Shannon, give you anything if you don't give yourself permission to want what you want. Okay, so hashtag want what you want this week. This week I want you to pay attention to what makes you feel. Alive, capital A alive, then your challenge is to do one thing every day that honors what you love, that honors what you love, not your partner, not your kids, not your parents, not your people at work, what you love. Do not honor what is logical. Do not honor what is expected. Do not honor what is reasonable and rational, blah. You are going to honor your assignment, which is what is true and authentic and genuine from you because you did not recover to disconnect. You did not recover to go, go dull or to go numb. You did not recover. To play small and just be grateful. You recovered to feel completely alive, to reconnect to your direction, which you probably lost in the middle of your recovery journey, right? You probably lost that intuitive knowing that spark that you used to have for your life. But today we are gonna draw a line in the sand and say, today's the day that I let my passion lead the way. We are not gonna listen to people who need us to be reasonable and logic and tell us what we should do, what we, what we are going to do is what won't we want, and put some fire behind it. So again, if this episode resonated with you, I want you to come and share what's lighting you up in the Facebook community. I would love to hear what you're remembering, what you're reclaiming, and what you are running madly in love towards. Also, if this work. Calls to you and you're saying, oh my gosh, I am ready for one-on-one support. I'm ready to live a Meg Ryan kinda life. Reach out to me for your free breakthrough call and together we are gonna get so clear on what lights you all the way up that you will become unstoppable in this next level of recovery. And I would love to help you create your dreams. Until next week, I want you to turn up the fire in your 24 hours and remember that you are both worthy and deserving of every single thing, and it is all available to you. I love you. I'm so proud of you, and I confidently and deeply believe in your ability to create a passionate, limitless possibility kinda life. Whoa. Did you just feel what I felt? There's a whole lot of that and so much more to inspire you to create miracles in your own life on upcoming episodes of the Girls Who Recover podcast. And if you loved this episode, be sure to follow the show. Give it a five star rating and a gorgeous review, and then share it with your best friend to be a light in her life. And the fun doesn't have to stop here. Grab my latest workshop for free in the show notes. Designed to help you create a career you love and book your free breakthrough call with me one-on-one when you're ready to be supported in transforming your life. You can find and message me on Instagram at Girls Who Recover. And in case you haven't heard it today, I love you. I'm so proud of you, proud, and I believe in your ability to create a gorgeous life you love starting right now, and I'll see you in the next episode.