EP 48: The Good Girl Detox: Shatter Glass Ceilings, Ditch Perfectionism and Create Your Next Level Success

Schedule your free 1:1 Breakthrough Call here: https://calendly.com/girls-who-recover/breakthrough-call-clone and receive a $250 gift towards your experience if you book a call by 11/20 (call can happen anytime through the end of 2025)

Shatter glass ceilings, ditch perfectionism and create your next level success.

Whattt just happened?

We detoxed our inner good girl conditioning, that’s what.

We called out the ways we’re holding back and got called forward to remember who we are, what we’d love and everything that’s possible when a woman says “No.” to the patriarchal conditioning and “Hell YES.” to who she is and her most expansive dreams.

If you know you’re ready to detox your inner good girl conditioning and want support to expand your capacity to create, become and receive everything you say you want,

I’m inviting you to join me for a free 1:1 breakthrough conversation - schedule it here - https://calendly.com/girls-who-recover/breakthrough-call-clone

In this 90-minute Zoom call, we’ll

• get clear on how good girl conditioning is showing up in your life
• blueprint a vision for what you want to create more (or less) of
• turn your biggest limiting belief into your superpower
• create a powerful roadmap to build confidence and momentum for your goals
• explore what it looks like to work together 

You can book your free 1:1 breakthrough conversation here: https://calendly.com/girls-who-recover/breakthrough-call-clone

BONUS! If you book your call by Thursday (11/20), I’m sharing a gift of $250 towards any coaching experience if you decide you want to work together.

Note: your call can be anytime before the end of 2025, it just has to be booked by 11/20.

Hey gorgeous.

I love you.

I'm so proud of you.

And I believe in your ability to create a life you absolutely love.

Transcript

0:00

Hey, gorgeous. I normally don't do this, but because last week's masterclass was so freaking powerful, I am including it here in abridged version of it as a podcast episode, and we're gonna keep this up for a limited time. But I want everybody to have free access to all of the gems that we discussed in this conversation. We talked about the ways that good girl conditioning shows up and how to. Detox it so that you can show up as the most empowered, courageous, brave, sexy, incredible version of you, which lets you create everything you've ever wanted. Check out the masterclass. I wanna direct DM about your aha moment and the one thing you're gonna do differently as a result of you listening in, mwuah. Hey, so we're from all over the world and today I wanna welcome you to the Good Girl Detox. And I wanna start by saying how freaking grateful I am that you are here. I believe that time is our most precious resource, and that is something that you're giving to yourself today, not to me but to yourself, to this community. And if whether you're here live or you're watching on the replay. You're giving your time, and we only get so much this round, so I'm so grateful for that. I don't take it lightly. I want, I wanna invite you to give yourself this time as a gift, the experience as a gift. So take your phone, throw it as far as you can, leave it in the other room. And unless you're watching from your phone, then just put it on d and let's keep it moving and let's drop in together. So I'm gonna ask that you close your sexy eyes. Woo. They're tell'em how sexy they are. Yes. Eyes. Thank you for helping me see this world. All right. We're gonna take two breaths to drop in and the only intention for the breath is to feel really good. Okay. So let's go to the bottom of your hips, in that groin area. Ooh girl. We're gonna breathe in that area from your groin or your sacral chakra, all the way up through the crown of your head on the count of 3 1 2. Use your nose, breathe it in. Notice how that breath just feels so good. Yes. Thank you for being alive. Hold it at the top, just feeling filled and alive. And then you're gonna make a really sexy, audible sound on the way out. I'm gonna model for you. Ready? Oh, if you're in public, make it even louder. Got it. You let go, huh? All right, one more time. The only intention is to feel so good. So get down there in between your legs and breathe it in. Inhale. Feeling up your body. Feeling up your arms. Feeling up your face. That beautiful face. Hold at the top and you're gonna get real on, on the exhale. Are we ready? Let it go. Oh, turn that. Dial up on how good you feel, because what else is there really? That's the whole premise of The Good Girl detox, is we get to feel really good in our own lives. Today. As a result of this class, you are gonna shatter some of your own glass ceilings. You are gonna ditch the delusion of needing to be perfect, and you're gonna leave here with a step-by-step framework that I use with me and with every client that I coach, to detox that inner good girl so that you can feel so good about how you show up in your own life. So we're gonna start with a video. It's two minutes and I'm gonna ask you to pay attention to your body, not your mind. Pay attention to the way you feel in your body, those emotions as you watch this video. And then I want you to use your mind to consider how you see good girl conditioning showing up in the video. Okay? Type one in the chat if you're ready to go to your body. To see how it feels to watch this video. All right, here we go. Do I have the video pulled up? Yes, I do. All right, let me share my screen. Tech is so fun. Okay, let's talk about the dream deck. What's that? It's the gap that comes between girls and their full potential. Lucy starts at a five Girls Stop believing they can be presidents, scientists, astronauts, big thinkers, engineers, CEOs, and the list goes on. Why? Because what else are we going to believe when by age seven, we're more likely to think that boys are smarter than us? That's ridiculous. When we are three times less likely to be given a science related toy, that's sad. And when our parents are twice as likely to Google, is my son gifted than is my daughter gifted? That's not cool. We need to see brilliant women being brilliant and see how they got to where they are to imagine ourselves doing what they do. But we can't do it alone. Moms, dads, brothers, and bosses. We need all of you to help. We need to close the dream gap. It's up to all of us. Okay. I wanna hear from you in the chat. Tell me what you felt in your body. Tell me the emotion you felt in your body. Cry. Sad. I had to close my eyes for a minute'cause I was like, what in the actual fuck is happening? Yeah. Sadness. Some tension. Empowered. Yes. Ooh. See how we can change gears in two minutes? Empowered? Yes. Yes. Okay. I want you to type a one in the chat if you have a daughter. Lots of empowered. All right. Britt has a daughter. You know I have three, or maybe you don't know. I have three As you're typing in the chat. My daughters are five, Alyssa, she's the wild one. Audrey, who used to be the wild one, is now eight. She's a genius and Ava is 10 and she's so many things. I can't even put a word on it. She's everything just like you are. Okay, beautiful. So we have daughters, we have nieces, we have some granddaughters. We have all sorts of things. And I wanna say that because this class isn't for them. It's not. Maybe if you're a mom, you're like, yes, I want better for my daughters and I wanna get in your face. And I start every masterclass with this video so I can be in your face and say, it's not about your daughters. Guess how we do it for your daughters? We do it for you. You do it for you. Yes. So you're here today. I wanna just compliment you, celebrate you, appreciate you for creating space to close the dream gap for you, my friend, and good girl conditioning. And that detox is essential to close the dream gap so you can create everything that you've ever wanted so they can create everything they've ever wanted. But who does it start with? It's that gorgeous bitch looking at you in the mirror. Okay? Oh Lord, I already, unc, I'm already uncensored. Okay, why are we here? Why am I here? How am I even qualified to talk about the Good Girl Detox? I just, for the longest time, I identified as a Type A. Is there anybody else who identified as a type A, an overachiever, an over performer? I got amazing grades in school. I was president of everything that would let me be including my sorority. I had a very impressive resume. I went to fancy prestigious schools like Vanderbilt and Johns Hopkins. I got multiple degrees. I joined Teach for America and I was going as fast as I could to create success. And ultimately I was leading an inner city high school in Baltimore at the age of 25, which is insane. And I also had checked the boxes of, okay, I have a wealthy man. I own a home that I bought for myself, and I'm in the middle of living my best life. Check check. But if my entire life collapsed when I was 28 under the weight of burnout of stress related health issues and a really serious drinking problem. And that led me to both sobriety and recovery. And listen, there's a difference. When I got sober, I thought my problems were totally alcohol related. I'm like, okay, if I get sober, everything's fine. But anybody who's been in recovery from anything knows that stopping the thing is only the beginning. And underneath the hood was just the beginning of a whole healing journey. And I found myself, even with years of sobriety, running as fast as I could to climb that ladder of success of the mountain in my career, even in recovery, I was trying to go as hard as I could. And after just a few years sober, I was back where I thought I needed to be. So I was in leadership at a school. I was making a bunch of money, I was engaged, I had everything right, and I had a total meltdown. Years with years of sobriety, which led to an awakening. And here's what it was. I realized that I was living in the middle of somebody else's story of what success looked like. Someone else gave me the list of this is what it means to be good. Good girl on the grades, good girl on the degrees. Good girl. My people in the world, God bless us all. Look at my girls. And they're like, oh, you have such good girls. And I was like, hold up. Because I saw it. It took me a long time. I was trying to be good. I was trying to be worthy. I was trying to earn my own deservingness. But the problem was I was totally asleep at the wheel and I had subscribed to someone else's YouTube channel for my own life. Has anybody done that? Can I get an amen in the chair? And the problem was I'd never paused long enough to wake up. Katie's an amen. Yes. To ask these questions. I want you to either write these down or write them in the note sheet of your own heart. Whose rules am I following? Who made these boxes that I'm checking? Who am I even, what do I even want? I told a great story about that on Facebook Live this morning. Please go check that out. It had to do with sho shoulder pads. So sexy. And all of that is a result of what we're gonna call today. Good girl conditioning. Since then, I told you I have three gorgeous daughters, which makes this work even more important for me. Not just for them, but because their change comes through my example. And the same happens with you. So I started to wake up, and then I noticed this really powerful, angry word called should the should. You should be going faster. You should be doing more. You should be fixing the typos in your emails. You should be knowing how to fix the, should you gotta, should, huh? She shows up for you too. And I was telling this to myself. It wasn't even coming from the outside anymore, and I was wearing a bunch of guilt and I was wearing a bunch of shame. And I noticed these feelings of disconnection between who I was and what my life looked like. So I was in a job I didn't love. I was dating people. This is before my current husband that I didn't really even I was doing things that didn't match who I was on the inside, but that's not, that wasn't real for me. So I started my private breakthrough coaching practice in the middle of a meltdown. God bless our meltdowns because they end up being breakthroughs. Our breakdowns become breakthroughs. I get to speak on stages like this one and in person for hundreds of women, and I host the now top 5% globally ranked podcast girls who recover. And we have a mission to help women transform their setbacks into and good girl conditioning into empower comebacks so that we can do this. Are you ready? Live on a unapologetically, create a life that feels extraordinary, where we get to feel good as a priority. And when we do that, we become lighthouses for every woman that we know, every woman that we love. Backwards in our ancestry and forwards in our legacy. And something I'm here to say is I've noticed this kind of conditioning, not just in the mirror, but in every single woman that I coach and every single woman that I know and every single woman that I love in this world. And it's time for us to be done with that. We're gonna be done with that. Hashtag it. Who is red D type of one in the chat if you are ready. I'm looking at the chat right now. I wanna see who is red D Katie is ready. Christine is ready. Katie, Casey, angel, Christina. Okay, we are ready. We're ready to be done with that. So I wanna talk about the thing that's under the thing, and I'm gonna make a really strong case. You can disagree and that's fine. We can still love each other, but I'm gonna make a case a really strong one about why you're not getting what you say you want. You say you wanna make six figures, you say you want a promotion, you say you wanna start a coaching business. You say that you wanna write your book, you say you wanna run the race, you say you wanna be an awesome X, Y, z, all of that. The reason and the gap between you and that thing, it's good girl conditioning, but we keep calling it things like worthiness, which is not, that's not up for debate or deserving, which is also not up for debate. We keep thinking, oh, we're gonna be ready, right? Ready is a tool of the patriarchy that is good girl conditioning. You're never gonna be ready because the patriarchy insists that you stay right where you are. Shh. Don't you dare. Don't you dare stretch. Don't you dare expand. Don't you dare cuss online in front of all these people. Don't you do it? That's not good. Oh my God. We call it things like imposter syndrome and being blocked, and that's bullshit. That's just more words that the patriarchy, fetus, and we ate. That's good girl conditioning, and we are done with that. We're done with believing that we're not worthy or we're not de deserving, or we don't have the resources, or we're not brave enough, or we're not right enough, or we're not smart enough. Of course you are. Can we be done with that, ma'am? So a quick definition, and then I'm gonna give you a longer, one of good girls conditioning is internalized, which means it's not coming from out there anymore. It's coming from within. It's internalized patriarchy. It's this belief that's not coming from out there. They did their job before we were six, done before we were six. The internalized belief that being good and liked and pleasing is what's right and good and safe. So I want you to check for yourself. I'm gonna go a little bit on here'cause I want you to feel this in your bones. And I want you, we're gonna have to pick a different thing. Let's do, let's pick the number seven, because that one's sexy. I want you to get your seven. Christina says, hell yes. This, there something better. That's how you know you work with me. Okay. All right. So get your seven ready because I want you to be unapologetic. Be brave here. We're all women. We all love each other. And if we don't, just know that's our own good girl conditioning, which we just agreed we were gonna be done with. So drop a seven in the chat. I'm keeping my eyes on it. If you ever apologize for something when you didn't do anything, if you've ever hesitated to say what you really think, because somebody might be mad at you if you didn't do something.'cause you didn't wanna hurt their feelings. If you accepted a job offer without negotiating for more pay and better benefits and more time off, what? Oh, you have it too. If you've been afraid once you had the job to ask for a raise or a promotion or to be on a call with somebody and not ask them to work with you even though your work is golden'cause you were afraid or you might be too much or you might be greedy or you might be. What If you ever said no and then said anything after it? Come on. Yeah. Complete sentence. No, if you want to, you can, in the south we say, no thank you. And that's fine too, but that's not necessary. And here are, those are bigger ways, but let's, I wanna get even more specific. You take on another volunteer role at your kids' school, even though you're not sleeping enough, you're not exercising enough and you did it because nobody else stepped up. So you have to be the one. How do I know that one? Oh wait, it's me. And you rewrite an email to your list or to work so it doesn't sound too direct, and you add emojis and exclamation points and smiley faces. Oh, you do it too. Okay. You bump into the grocery store, they spill your coffee on you and you say, oh my God, I'm so sorry. They bumped into you. They spilled your coffee on you. And then you went, what? Here's one of my favorite. I'm getting on the box for this one. Someone offers you a compliment and you say, oh, it's nothing. When someone says, oh, Dana, I love your fuck the patriarchy earrings, and I'm like, oh, it's no big deal. My best friend just gave them to me outta the bottom of her heart. You see what I'm doing there? Good girl conditioning. You have an idea for your business, but you sit on it for months because you're afraid. People will say, who does she think she is? I'm here to tell you, remind you, you don't need me. I'm not gonna tell you anything today that you don't already know for yourself. You've been called intense, too much over emotional, extra, all that patriarchy. You wait for the right moment to speak and then you decide you're not gonna do it. Okay? So let's talk about the patriarchy.'cause even my husband is like, you talk about the patriarchy, like you're angry at men. Lemme tell you something, I love men. I have a lot of loved, a lot of men in my life. I love men. I'm married to one. He is fabulous. I've loved a lot of men in my life. If I wanna tell you what the patriarchy is, okay? Because it's not a man, it's a system. It's a social system, a political system, an economic system belief based on the belief that masculine, and I wanna clarify, white masculine traits. Logic, control, dominance, productivity. Let me say it again so my girls in the back hear it. This is what we value in the patriarchy, logic and reasonable. You gotta be reasonable, girl. That's not logical. It's built on control, which is why you feel like you can't breed. Sometimes it's built on dominance. Go. It's built on productivity. How hard can you work? I'm on calls with women that are working till midnight and I'm like, what? The patriarch says all that's better than the feminine traits like intuition and empathy and receptivity and intuition and emotional intelligence and doing the thing because your intuition invited you to, it has nothing to do with individual men. It's about a power structure that organizes the way we live in our culture around hierarchy, power and performance. So I wa I once a younger coach version of me was like, I should train to be a high performance coach. And every cell in my being was like, absolutely not. We are not going to subscribe to high performance coaching because that is the patriarchy, especially for women, and that's who I used to be. High performance. I told you all the things, I was a high performer who would have meltdowns and oh, drank herself so much. She got so close to dying. It's not even funny. And patriarchy rewards output over being authentic. Achievement over being alignment and compliance over connection. Yeah. Christina was there in the middle of that principalship. She worked with me so she can attest and little girls. Okay, we're all big girls now, but little girls. When we were, we learned this, we learned that following the rules keeps us safe. Following the rules and instructions and directions, gets us points and stickers and awards and hugs, and then grown women internalize those same rules so we can survive. Yeah. I was 25, right? And that's how the good girl conditioning is created and it's done before we even our conscious mind even develops. That happens around seven, and you saw those pe, those kids in the video, they're under seven. So it's not something that someone did to us. It's the way that society structured, okay? It trains us to seek safety through being approved instead of trusting ourselves. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, take a deep breath into your soul and let her know a day is the day when we are starting to trust ourselves. Tell her promiser. Commit. The patriarchy praises women for shrinking and softening and serving. Instead of leading, receiving, or resting, God forbid you take a nap. That's why I'm so public about my naps. I have to have my naps. I take every nap every single weekend. I have to, I will not schedule thing in my nap time because it is essential to me. The patriarchy teaches that power is earned through being perfect. It's earned through how productive you are instead of how present you are and how on purpose you are. And here's what it looks like. It looks like brilliant, high achieving women like you like me, who know how to perform, but we don't know how to receive and we can do everything right and still feel totally empty, disconnected, unappreciated on the inside. Can I get an amen on a weekday? The patriarchy is a system that made being good, the opposite of being whole. Say that word out loud, whole. We're not trying to be good. We're trying to be whole. So what is good girl conditioning? Everybody's clear about the patriarchy, right? We love men. All of'em. It's the system. It's the structures, it's the religion, it's the politics. Casey and I were having a conversation about a hospital earlier. It's in the hospitals, it's in the doctors, it's in the training, it's in the education, it's in everywhere we live. It's not a person, it's a system. And today is our wake up call to notice the system and to shift so that we are showing up not as good girls anymore. We're showing up as whole. So good girl conditioning. This is what it is. It's subconscious, which means it's not even something that we're thinking about. An example of this is if you grow up in Japan, guess what language you speak? My sister just went to Japan. It looked like a blast. What do they speak in Japan? English? Nope. Japanese. You got it. Why? Because that's how they do it there. They don't think about it. They pass it on. It's just like a language. The patriarchy is just like a language and it's immersed. How do my French, how do my kids know French? They go to a French immersion school. How do they know English?'cause they grew up with me. They were exposed to this at a very young age, and so that now they know. And it's invisible. Okay? And it's teaching us often when, from when we're little, that our safety and our belonging and our worth depend on being agreeable, being accommodating, being competent, and being self sacrificing. I've gotta be, I can't be selfish, God forbid. It's invisible. It's the invisible rule book that's reinforced through our family, through our systems, through our workplace, and it rewards women for being polite, for being helpful, for being humble, for being nice. Even at the expense of you saying the truth of you, asking for what you need, and you demonstrating your brilliance on full light. And for high performing women, which is likely most of you. It shows up as an internalized belief that if I do everything right, I work hard, I stay grateful, I meditate, I avoid conflict, I look polished, I keep it together, and everybody's happy. Then I'll finally. Feel safe, feel loved, feel successful. But here's what actually happens. We over-function. We overthink, we spiral, we overgive, and we don't feel seen, and we feel resentful and we feel disconnected, and we get alcoholism because I'm not blaming alcoholism on that, but I, but it has something to do with it. Okay? We get disconnected from who we are and what we actually want, but then we're gonna be done with that. Good world conditioning. Is the lifelong training to be good? Instead of what are we now? Put it in the chat. Lifelong training to be good instead of to be whole. That's what we're doing and it puts us in a double bind. Okay? Let me know in the chat. We're gonna pick a different number four, gimme a four in the chat. If you've ever felt or heard or seen or experienced this, Hey girl, we want you to be confident but not intimidating. Four in the chat. Four be successful, but not too successful. You could be the VP but not the CEO. You can be helpful, but don't be high maintenance. You can be beautiful, but don't you dare know it. You can say your truth, but don't make anybody uncomfortable. Be ambitious, but don't be aggressive. Be independent, but not too much. We have boundaries, but don't be cold or selfish or have R-B-F-R-B-F weapon of the patriarchy. Speak your let's see. Be smart, but don't but pretend that you don't know too much. Be sexy, but don't be a slut bitch. Be confident, but make sure you're thin and small and contained lead. But don't you dare outshine the men. Be a good mom, but also have a thriving career. And don't you dare drop a ball. Take care of yourself, but don't be self-centered. Be polished and professional, but don't you be fake. Be grateful and don't you be greedy. Be vulnerable, but then messy rest. But make sure you earned it. Come on, notice in your body where that feels what you're feeling. Okay. I really wanna hear this in the chat, so I'm gonna take a beat here. I have a question for you before we move into the solution. Yeah, I know. Yes. This is so magical. It's so magical. I brought my magic wand, which represents us waking up we're awake. We're not even mad about it, but we're awake now, and when we're awake, we can shift. That's the magic. What do you think the cost of this good girl conditioning has been in your life? What's it cost you? I wanna hear it in the chat. You can do a word. You can do a sentence. I'm gonna take some deep breaths. Be specific. Everything really is I can't change everything, but what's one thing that it's cost you? Yeah. Mil probably millions of dollars. Time, for sure. Time that you could have spent doing what? I had a conversation with someone who the other day is freaking brilliant. She's so brilliant. And she's in we're in the same community and she's in every single call. Every single one. And like the, this community is amazing. It's such a great resource, but there are a lot of calls, but she has a big dream of creating her own thing. But instead of creating her own thing, she's in somebody else's calls. So it's costing her, this is good girl conditioning. I have to be at every call. I have to get it all. I have to take the notes. I've gotta do the thing. And it's costing her everything she says she wants. Okay, this is what it costs us. Let's be more specific. Time, money, energy, self-esteem. Ugh. The way you feel about yourself, your confidence, time, money, energy, growth. Yeah. You're limitless possibility. The thing that when you get in the room with me one-on-one and we go to your dream, that thing that just cries out from the center of your soul, that is what it's costing you. And we're done with that. I hope you feel me through the screen. We've gotta be done with that. And today's the day you're making a decision. I'm gonna ask you to make a decision in about 10 minutes to be done with that. And this is why we aren't expanding. I wanna talk nervous system a little bit because we've gone to the head, we've gone to society, we went out way far. But I wanna go internal. Let's talk about the nervous system and why we resist the thanks. We think we're stuck, we're blocked, blah blah. That's bullshit. Okay, let's go inside. We've got a mind. We've got a body. We've got a soul. And this good girl conditioning isn't a mindset issue. It's not a moral flaw. It's a nervous system strategy for you to stay safe. You know the nervous system has one job. Type in the chat. What the nervous system's job is. Yeah. Alive. That's it. It doesn't care. Christine. Nailed it. This job is to keep you alive. I'm so glad you didn't say safe, right? Because your nervous system does not care if you're safe. It just keeps cares if you're alive. And so when there's a tiger, it doesn't care. It doesn't want you to feel safe, it wants you to run or to pick up your sword and fight, but probably run. Okay. Anybody else? A runner. So the nervous system built to keep us safe. And so we learned from a young age every single woman in this room. If you're polite, if you're helpful, if you raise your hand, if you get the stars, if you accommodate, if you check all the boxes, if you go as hard as you can, you will be accepted. You'll be approved of, and you'll be out of danger, which means you will be alive. That's how we live well in America. When you made people happy, you were safe, when you followed the rules and you got good grades, you were safe. When you blended in, you were safe. Your body wired that pattern as a survival to keep you alive. Yeah, just apologize. Just apologize. Do you know that I tell my daughters that they are not to apologize unless they absolutely did something wrong, and the conversation does never sounds like, I'm sorry, it sounds like I harmed you and here's how. What do you need? What can I do? Because I don't want them to apologize when they didn't really fuck it up. By the way, I wanna tell you something. Since you're here. See, you know my earrings. Thanks Ava. Love you so much. My best friend. So my husband is very unhappy about these earrings, so I only wear them when he's not around some most of the time. And my daughters are allowed to say what's on the earrings one time a day, just one time a day. And then sometimes they say it around their dad and he's not happy. But that's okay. Our job isn't to keep them happy. Our job is to say the truth. And if something inside of you said, Dana, you're, that's a bad mom. That is the patriarchy. That is good girl conditioning. Okay let me just take a breath. So we see how our nervous system is setting us up for good girl conditioning. We see how all this is connected. It's not just programming in our mind, it's wiring in the body. We're trying to stay safe, we're trying to stay alive. And this pattern says, if I keep being good, I will not be abandoned. No one will judge me. No one will criticize me. But the truth is, that's fake news. That safety and aliveness built on abandoning yourself. Everything we've been taught is the thing that keeps us thinking that we're stuck. Real safety, the kind that your nervous system, I'm just touching myself here'cause that's what makes my nervous system happy. The real safety, the kind that your nervous system can trust comes from your body and your mind. Learning a new equation, truth can be safe, authenticity can be safe, and expansion can be safe. And that's what we are learning today. And when your nervous system plus your mind, plus your spirit, who's been trying to sing to you the whole time. Learn that expansion isn't dangerous. It's not an angry tiger. Everything shifts for you. Type of one in the chat. If you're ready to detox your good girl conditioning. I'm gonna give you a beat. I wanna see that you're here. Katie's ready. Shabana. Yes, Casey. Priscilla. Hi, Priscilla. Hi. Okay, great Angel, Stephanie? Yes. Yes. Okay, so this is what it's gonna look like. Are you ready? Buckle your seatbelt because this, when you detox your inner good girl conditioning, this is what your life is going to look like. First of all, it's not gonna be you being a bad girl because that is the trope of the patriarchy. You gotta be good or you gotta be bad. It's like that Taylor Swift song that now is a little bit not so relevant, but she's she says something like, you either gotta be a wife or a one night. There's no in between. You know that song? Help me Out in the chat, my swifties. The opposite of good girl conditioning is waking up to your own authenticity. Where you live from this place of self-trust, of being clear about who you are and what you want. And you're not seeking approval from them. You're not performing, you're not even rebelling. You are coming home to you. You are remembering who you are. It's not something you have to create. It's something that you remember. Do you think that the creator of this universe did not put you here? Put you here without a plan, without a blueprint, without a purpose? No. I'll just save you some time. No, you've got a plan, you've got a purpose, you have an assignment, and today we are remembering who she is and what her assignment is. She being you. So here's what it's gonna look like on the other side. Number one, you're gonna be assertive and set boundaries. You aren't softening your voice. You're gonna communicate your needs and your limits without guilt, without over explaining, and you're gonna let no be a complete sentence. You are not carrying what isn't yours anymore. Just to heat the piece. You're gonna say what you mean. Even if your voice shakes. Number two, you're gonna prioritize your self-worth and the needs that you have. You're gonna start acting from an internal sense of course, I'm worthy. You are not gonna perform for approval. You are gonna treat rest and pleasure. Pleasure, ugh, feeling so good either having sex or eating chocolate, or going for a run or whatever. Kind of pleasure. I hope you have all of it. You're gonna see that stuff is sacred, not as safe for leader. You're not gonna overextend yourself to prove your value, and you're gonna start protecting God. Bless Taylor Swift. You're gonna start protecting your energy like it's gold. Perimenopause has struck my ability to remember exactly what she said, but she said it on the nose about your, you've gotta protect that energy. It's gonna look like you expressing yourself with authenticity. What does authenticity mean? You're real. You're not using chat GPT to say what you need to say. You are not using funny memes to cover up the things that actually need to be said. You're gonna be messy and angry and uncertain. You're gonna be truth. You're gonna get rid of the polish, not the nail polish if you like it. I don't. That's not what I mean. You're gonna get rid of the veneer, the mask, the Stepford wife. We're gonna be done with that. We're gonna stop performing for belonging, and we're gonna start trusting that the real you. Let me look at you in a face. I'm gonna look at you. Get on the camera for me for a second. Let me look at you. Okay? The real shavana and the real Brit and the real PR Patricia and the real Rachel, and the real Katie and the real Charlotte and all my friends in the back row without their cameras on. You are going to trust your own reality. You're going to trust that the real you is worthy, is lovable, is enough. You're gonna stop asking, am I enough? And you're gonna start behaving like you already know. You are gonna embrace your own imperfection and you're gonna take risks. You're gonna be done with perfect because that is the patriarchy. It's a weapon that we use against ourselves in the mirror with our daughters, in our church groups, in our women's meetings. Nobody wants an AI image of you. They want you and your mess and your zits, and you're smelling armpits and you're messed up hair and you're fuck the patriarchy earrings. That's what we want. And if somebody doesn't want that, just know it's because they've been conditioned and that's okay. We love them. There's no judgment here. We're all the same. We're all one. You release the control and you let your life get a little wild and a little chaotic'cause you trust yourself to handle whatever comes. Somebody messaged me earlier, a couple of you, and you're like, oh my God, I'm so excited for you. The right people are gonna show up. And it was the first time I've done a ton of masterclass, but it was the first time I read that message and I was like, I already know. I already know that the right people are gonna be here. Even if it's only one I already know that's the growth that's available. I'm not worried about the number of signups or the, we were talking together earlier in the mastermind. I'm like, kit is really fucking me in the nose right now with the tech issues. I'm not worried about it because the universe has my back and it's all working out for me. That's what it looks like to live from your most sovereign self. You start challenging your status quo. You stop conforming. You start asking questions of the system. You speak up, you take space, and you model for the women in the mirror, the one woman in the mirror, and every woman that she ever touches, what it looks like. To wake up from the patriarchy and live as the truest, most authentic, gorgeous, brave, imperfect version of who you are. In essence, when you detox my friend, you actually have your power. You live from this place of radical self-acceptance. I am who I am. Who I am, and I love it. You advocate for yourself and you trust yourself. You stop performing. You stop trying to be good because you know that you are whole. You stop asking, am I good enough? Because you already know and you don't allow other women to ask that of themselves. It's not about you. It is. It starts with you, but it's about every woman that you ever touch, and here's how you live. Everybody. Take a deep breath. Make it feel good. Exhale. Ugh, yes. This is what it looks like to wake up. I'm getting up on the box. It's my masterclass, so I don't need permission. You don't measure your worth by how much you do for everybody else. You let those motherfucking dishes sit in the sink so that you can finish your journal entry, and the whole world will not end when your work is done. You close your laptop and you shove it in a drawer and you go play with your kids. Even when your to-do list is not done. You don't even have a to-do list because your rest and your play and your joy and your presence and your right now is sacred. That is the work. You don't wait for somebody else to validate your ideas. You send the email, you send the pitch, you make the post. You ask for the meeting. You raise your rates. You trust your voice even when it shakes. And you do not apologize for what you need, for what you want, and you ask for it, and you don't apologize for your boundaries. I'm not coming. No, thank you. I won't be there. Don't say I can't make it. That's a lie. Just say, no, I won't make it. You say no and you're warm about it. You don't have to be guilt guilty. You say no to the client who wants to At somebody this week, I was like, no, I'm not doing that. And she was angry. I'm like, I'm okay if you're angry. I'm okay if you are angry because I'm not responsible for your feelings. Guess who's feelings I'm responsible for? That's it. The end. You say no to that committee. That doesn't light you up. You say no to the favor. You know your nos.'cause they protect your yeses. They protect what's actually important and your yes. Build builds a life. You love your life and it should feel just like that. Every day is a spiritual orgasm and you can't get enough. You've stopped softening the edges because it will make people comfortable. You walk into the meeting wearing whatever the fuck you want'cause it feels powerful. You speak with clarity. You don't say, does that make sense? After you make a point, did you hear me? You don't dim your brilliance to make others feel okay. You let your life be the invitation for them to find theirs. You stop overworking and calling it dedication, ambition. Your burnout is not a badge. You are done being busy. Let me say that again. You are done being busy because that is the weapon of the patriarchy and that keeps you good. It's like the sexiest thing that women think they need to say, oh, I'm so busy. How you been? I've been busy. I'm like, oh girl, they got you, didn't they? One call with them. We lift up the hood. I talk to them about their dreams. They tell me things they never told anybody, and then about a week later I'm like, let's get started. They're like, I'm really busy right now. My dream's gonna have to wait. That money goal I set, gonna have to wait that book, I really wanna write that stage. I wanna own. It's gonna have to wait. I'm really busy in somebody else's business, in somebody else's call, in somebody else's meeting, in somebody else's priority. That's what busy means. You don't own your life. Oh, today's the day to wake up to that. No judgment. I love you. You're me, I'm you. I've done all of this in your relationships. You're done managing everybody else's feelings and emotions, and you let your partner do what they do and you don't need to fix'em. You teach the phrase mommy needs a minute to your kids and that shows them that you are prioritizing yourself. It's love in action. You're not neglecting them.'cause if you neglect yourself, guess what they're gonna do when they're moms. I don't remember my mom ever getting a massage. Never. I get one every other week. I don't remember my mom ever taking a nap. She just passed out. Which is why it took me 40 years to learn this stuff because I had to unlearn the patriarchy. My mom's incredible. No shade to my mom. She's a fucking badass. She's probably the reason why I'm here with you. Let me, she's the reason. Okay? We do what we learn. Mommy needs a minute. Mommy needs a run. Mommy meditating. Mommy's going to her meeting. Mommy's teaching a masterclass and mommy's gonna be on a field trip only'cause I love the museum. I'm not going to the field trip to the trampoline park'cause I don't like it. Those are the field trips I go to, the ones I want to. Okay, my, for my girls in recovery, I see you here. I see you. Everybody really in recovery, let's be honest. We stopped taking on too many people to mentor. We stopped saying, oh man, I didn't make 18 meetings this week. I'm definitely gonna lose it. We stopped saying, I have to do this and that, and this, and then finally I'll be recovered enough and listen, I love the books written by recovery, but guess who wrote them. So when I meet with women and we walk through these books of recovery, I have to translate, this is what it actually means for us. Okay? Is this landing? I see some in the chat. Oh yeah. Ooh, yes. Okay, a couple more and then I'm gonna get to the solution. Let's get it. Here's what it looks like when you detox. You start co-creating with the spirit of the universe. I hope you never are in a masterclass and don't hear me say the spirit of the universe that created you with a purpose, with a plan, with an assignment, with a vision, and the tension that you're experiencing because of girl conditioning is you not being on assignment, and it's not'cause you don't have willpower'cause that's not what this is about. The spirit is calling to you and you are stepping into your role as a co-creator. You know that your universe, your God isn't keeping score. It's responding to your energy and you're protecting it. You're trusting who you are and what you want. That's called alignment. Let me tell you what alignment means. You know who you are and you know what you want, and you do those things from that place. You're trusting the voice of the spirit instead of the voice from the outside. You don't lead with control. You're not trying to rescue people. You lead with your presence, with your being, with your light, and you model what real integrity looks like in action because you keep those promises to yourself. You show up for the masterclass because you said you would. You show up for the brainstorming for your next project.'cause you promised you would you show up to yourself? Notice I didn't say. I showed up to my kids' things. I showed up to my sister's, things I showed up to my husband's things. I still do those things, but those come second to the promises that I'm making to myself and my own dreams. That's how we close the dream gap. We're not disappointing ourselves anymore. We're not addicted to being liked. We're detoxing that we don't need to be liked. We're addicted to being free. That's our new addiction. Okay? Freedom. You can't go wrong there. You're not a good girl anymore. You are a woman who has found her voice, who set her boundaries, who loves her body, who experiences her joy and stands in her God given right to be fully expressed. And when you walk into a room now, your assignment is to bring that energy of a woman who no longer needs permission.'cause she is the motherfucking permission. You are their permission for you and the woman next to you and the woman next to her. It's you. Stop waiting for someone else. It's you. It's always been you. All right, let's take another deep breath. Let's do some shaking'cause we're getting to the solution.'cause I know you're like, okay, tell me what did Shake it. Shake it. Shake it. Okay. All right, here we go. I need to get your eight ready. Type in eight in the chat if you want to know how to dismantle this good girl conditioning and start showing up in your own identity. The one who's sovereign and empowered, and a woman. All right, angel's. Ready? Christine's Ready. Christina. Casey. C. Yeah. Taylor, Rachel? Yes. Okay, so I'm gonna give you a framework. Just know, just like with every framework, Sarah's ready. Katie's ready. Stephanie's Ready. Y'all ready? Ready. Ready. A framework is not a linear process, okay? Because for me to say step one, step two, step three, step four, guess where that would come from? The patriarchy. So just know that this is a cycle. It's a rhythm, it's a fluidity. It is not a box to check. And our goal here, we have two goals. Are you ready for'em? This is why you wanna know this. Number one, it's to get really clear on who you actually are. To get really clear on who you actually are. You write this down, who am I? Who am I? Don't you tell me you're a mom. Don't you tell me you're a CEO. Don't you tell me you're a boss. Don't you tell me you're sober. Don't. No, that's not you. Who are you? No matter what are you? Who are you? That's the assignment. That's the experience of this framework, this rhythm that I'm gonna share with you. You get to find out. You get to remember. Remember, it's not something that you're designing. You already know. You've always known. That's why you're here today. The second thing is, what would you love? Hear me say it again. I'm gonna go down in between my hips and tell you from that place, what would you love? What would make you feel so good that every day felt like an experience that made you go, ah, yes. Not'cause you're in bed with another person, but because that's how you feel about your own life. So your bedtime routine with the other person feels even better. Who were you and what would you love? Not what do you want? Notice I didn't say, what do you want?'cause that's a mind. And guess what's already programmed in the mind? The patriarchy. So we go between our legs and in between our hips and we embody this experience. You can even rock back and forth. Go to your stomach, go to your navel, go to your sacral, go to your root and say, what would I love? And let it come from there. Our space of creativity, our space of divine femininity, our space where the womb lives, or we create something out of nothing. What would you love? Those are the two promises. You will know yourself and you will get clear on what you love. None of that was in the script. Okay, let me walk you through the framework. Number one, the first thing you need to do, it's called the dragon and the decision, you can quote me on that, the dragon and the decision. So the first thing you have to do is you gotta look that dragon in the face. You notice it, you name it, and then you decide you're done with it. And this is where you stop pretending everything's fine. You start to wake up to what's not working. You're exhausted, you're resentful the beating of your heart that's God, can we please do the thing today? And it starts with you telling the truth about what's going on in your life, your longing and your discontent, and where you feel stuck and trapped, and what you've been tolerating, where you're struggling, what you're noticing. You look those dragons in the face, you wake up and ask, whose rules am I following right now? Who said I had to be on the PTO? Who said I had to take that service position? Who said I had to say yes to everything? Who said that? Was it me? Go inside? Maybe it was so you look the dragon in the face. That's step one. You understand what I mean by dragon, right? The things that aren't working in your life that feel like fire breathing dragons. But if you've ever seen the movie How To Tame a Dragon, you've seen that, right? That's the name of the movie. How to Tame a Dragon, something like that, Peter and The Taming the Dragon, or whatever. You know that once you look the dragon in the face, it becomes tame. It's not even real, and it wants to be your bestie. So the second part of this is you have to decide that you're gonna be done. You have to decide, and the word decide means to cut away from. That thing, it reminds me of a story about, oh, come on perimenopause, let it come through. Leonardo da Vinci when he was carving the Daveed. Give me a nod if that's right. Okay, good. Good job. So he, somebody said like, how did you carve the Daveed out of the marble? He is oh, I didn't carve the W eight. I just cut away everything. That wasn't it. And that's what deciding for you is you're deciding, which means you're done overperforming, and you're done softening and you're done apologizing and you're done asking. Does that make sense? And you're done following the word no with anything, but thank you. You're deciding that you are not available for that anymore, and you're making a decision to detox that good girl conditioning, unsubscribe from that YouTube channel in favor of subscribing to the woman that you were created to be. So I wanna tell you a little story. About, I've had some incredible clients over the years. My very, the very first story is my, I don't see her here today, but Karen came to me. She had a ton of sobriety. She had a very successful career as a gourmet chef. She had a real wild streak. She still has it. I adore her. But what she really wanted was to take a trip to Australia and it took us a time or two to really like, what do you actually want? What do you, not that not this, what do you actually want? She wanted to take a trip to Australia to stutter study with her teacher, her spiritual teacher, and she wanted to go by herself. She's in her seventies, but she felt worried'cause she had to leave her husband and go to herself and spend the money and all the things, all the noise, right? And she'd been convinced before we had a conversation that was probably not gonna be happening for her in her lifetime. And after two weeks of our work together. Karen had looked those dragons in the face. She made a decision in favor her of her dreams. And then six weeks after that, she was in Australia. She was in Australia. And two months before she thought that was not a thing that would ever happen for her because she was believing that she was at the end of her life. So when she finally looked, the dragons in the face, she named them. She decided what was hers and what was not. She made a decision to stop playing with the dragons. That was her first domino. You can't shift what you can't see. My friend, I can't either. My coach likes to say, Dana, you can't see the label on the jar from the inside of the jar. That's why I need a coach. I'm like, I know. So proud of myself for showing up doing this with you. Love you. That's why one-on-one support really matters.'cause our nervous system is de designed to keep us in comfort and keep us alive, and we're gonna keep calling it fine because that's safer than being in front of somebody who's gonna help you very gently and also in your face a little bit to face what the truth is. The dragon and a skilled coach can help you notice your dragon name them without being ashamed of yourself. I just messaged a client the other day and I said, listen to me. Turn your volume up all the way. Fuck that. Shame. I hear it. She didn't even tell me about something she was ashamed for. I just heard it in her voice. I was like, oh no, I hear this. Shame and we're gonna hashtag fuck that. Shame. Okay, that's a different masterclass. Oh wait, it's not. It's a podcast. Go listen to it. The Shameless woman. It came out last week, so good. Check it out. Casey was on it. Jennifer was on it. It was so good. Okay, where are we? Let me get back to myself. Oh, coaching, right? Why is it important to have a one-on-one support? A coach or a mentor or a friend who will tell you the truth? They help you face the dragons, they help you tell you to fuck that shame, and then they guide you as you make a decision to be done. I'm done with that. I'm done with that, and I'm going to decide for the next part. Okay, so that's number one. Dragons and the decision number two. This one's called the hot date and the design room Ready. So we're done with the dragons. We've made our decision, and now we're going on a hot date and we're taking our hot date to the design room. So once you've already named what's not working, you go back to that part of you who already does know, knows what she wants, knows what she would love, knows what feels so good, knows what would feel expansive. So in the second part of this cycle, you are taking yourself your most expanded, evolved, incredible Dolly Parton self. That's who I envision when I'm like expanded self. I go right to Dolly Parton. It's her, she's me. We're the same, and we take her on a date. So we're taking our highest self, that version of you that is no longer touched by good girl conditioning or labels or obligations or busy. And you start asking questions like, who am I without these rules? What would I love? What is true for me? What would I actually love for my life? What would that look like and feel like and taste like? And how much money would I welcome in? You take that woman on a date to the design room of your own life and together you get in the room and you create a blueprint just like you would build a house.'cause your life is the mansion, it's your life is the blueprint, it's a mansion and it's gorgeous. And you get in the design room of your own life and you create a blueprint for every corner that your health, your vitality, your love, your sex, your relationships, your body, your career, your creativity, your finances, your money, your freedom, your time, the level of your full body orgasms. You design that with her. I'm sorry I keep going there'cause like I just got a teacher that taught me how to do this and they're great. Okay, let me take a back, step back'cause I wanna tell you about another client I had. This is one of my very first one. Her name is Jess and Jess. When she came, she was already a superstar. Most people are. She was an award-winning school principal. She's a single mom with three boys, and she had the spirit that walked with her everywhere She went to create excellence and impact. But when she got in the room with me, she admitted that she was still holding back at which she really wanted was something else. And as a result of our work together, she took herself, her highest self on the hottest date to the design room and blueprinted a life that she would actually love. And as a result, she started her own coaching practice and she took her three boys on a dream trip to Germany, plus about a 16 other things. But those are the sexiest ones that she thought she couldn't do that wasn't possible for her. That's what happens when you remember who you are, get clear on what you would actually love. That has nothing to do with somebody else's boxes or any boxes at all. That part of the process is really tricky to do by yourself because your mind loves to get in the way and say, ah, yeah. Ah, yeah. Ah, yeah. No dream for you. No dream for you. Don't send that post. Don't say that thing. Don't do that. Masterclass. It did it for me. I told my mastermind, I was like, listen, I announced this masterclass and my nervous system has gone on full attack. Full attack even yesterday, and a coach helped me out of it. Some of you were there and saw that happen. A coach did that.'cause I was willing to say, I can't do it by myself. And there's a dragon inside and I don't know what to do. I've tried all the things. I've tried all the things. Anybody else relate to that? And a one-on-one coaching experience. You've got support to show your, show you how to go on a hot date with your highest self, to hold that energy of somebody who believes with you. Who reminds you? Wait a minute, didn't you say your dream was this? But I see you actually doing that. So like, how can we get back to the dream and take the energy and the step from that? It's the power of a one-on-one coach. All right, step three in the cycle, we've done the dragons. We went on a date to the design room of our own life. And step three is we're going to, it's called the troll and the bridge. And I've just started to tell this story and I love it. Has anybody ever heard the story of the three Billy Goats gruff? Just gimme a thumbs up if you're, I see a nod. Yeah. Okay. Hit me. Had more time. I tell you the whole story, but I'm gonna give you the like 32nd version. There was a field with three goats and the field was totally beat.'cause they'd eaten all the grass. It was done. And if they stayed in that field, they were gonna die. Huh? And there was a bridge. To a beautiful field with a bunch of green grass and trees and flowers and all the things goats, like goats eat, anything. So there was a bunch of stuff, and in order to live fully, they had to cross that bridge. The problem was, guess what was under the bridge? A troll. And he was mean, and he was angry and he was the patriarchy. And here's how they figured it out. The first little one, they sent the small one first. The small one went over the bridge and the troll said, I'm gonna eat you. And the troll was like, please don't eat me. My brother is fatter. You should definitely eat him. And the troll said, okay. And the, and so the goat got across interesting. The second, the fatter one, the middle one did the same thing. And he comes across the bridge and the troll says, I'm gonna eat you. Don't you dare make that post. Don't you dare raise your rates. Don't you dare charge the value of the transformation. Don't you dare stop working after 12 hours. And the second goat said, Hey, listen, please don't eat me. He had a little more confidence, but because my big brother is super fat and juicy, and he's vegan and he's organic, so you're definitely gonna wanna eat him. So the troll was like, all right, go. Go ahead. So the second. Troll made it over. The second goat made it over. All right. Here comes, you know what happens next, right? The third goat comes over and the troll is not playing games'cause he knows it's the last one. It's the post, it's the going live, it's the launching your business. It's writing the book, it's doing the thing. And the troll says, I'm gonna hit you. And the third Billy goat says, no motherfucker, you're not. And he barges into the troll and he uses his horns, which are the support that he has, and he flings that troll into the water and the troll drowns the end. And all three of those trolls eat that grass and live their best lives in the middle of their dream. Do you see how this applies to your life? The troll is your fear. It's the paradigm. It's the hesitation. It's the nervous system, it's the patriarchy. It's the good girl conditioning. And that's what happens after you make a decision. I'm not gonna lie to you, I made the decision for this masterclass. My people will tell you I was on high alerts. Every cell in my mind, every cell in my body decided that because this is unfamiliar, I've never taught the detox before. You've just unleashed a tiger or a dragon or a troll, and this is not safe. It's not logical, it's not reasonable. All that will strip naked, set itself on fire and dance in your driveway. So you won't pull the car out. That's step two, facing the trolls and crossing the bridge. And oh, she's here. Wanna tell her story? Is she still here? I think she is. She is. Okay. I am so happy you're here. So Angel, who's here today, when she came to me, she had decades of recovery. She was a very accomplished attorney. And might I say a sexy bitch. And everybody loves Angel. Everybody does. And our whole world and community. And she felt stuck in areas of her life, specifically her job. And that's what we'll talk about here. She wanted a raise. She wanted a better office. She wanted to be trusted with more responsibility. She wanted to say what was on her mind and what she thought. And she also wanted to feel better in her body and then travel the country. And Angel had to face the trolls that were in her way to get across that bridge. She's wondering about her own worthiness. She was, had some fears of speaking up. She didn't have experience asking directly for what she wanted and standing firm instead of being accommodating. And together we, she got clear. I didn't do it. I just held the space. She got clear on who she was and how that woman shows up at work. And we practice nervous system regulation and we practice visualization. We practice all the tools in the toolbox, and we alchemized those fears and they became her superpowers. And she created new agreements about who she is and how she lives. And as a result, angel, you can dive in the chat. She sent me a picture after her promotion that was totally not up for her. For her. After her promotion, she sent me a picture of a gorgeous office in the French Quarter with a window, a beautiful window, and I just get so emotional because that was in the design room. That picture was created on the hot date that she had with herself in the design room. Angel, if you have that picture, drop it in. I want'em to see it. And that is the power of having a coach of nervous system regulation, of detoxing your inner good girl. And coaching is everything. Do you see it? Take a minute. It's what happens. Okay. That's what happens. Thank you, God for that. One-on-one support literally helps you build new neural pathways for safety and self trusts, and you get a partner to navigate your trolls and limit those paradigms, and that makes them basically disappear, right? Otherwise, we'll get the horns out, fling the troll over, and it makes the next step much easier. So here's the next step. Oh, you're in the office right now. All right. This is the last one and people think this is actually where you need to start, but this is a lie. This is the patriarchy, and this step is called LFG. Do you know what LFG stands for? Put it in the chat. What does LFG stand for? Dana, you're saying it's step number four. What is LFG? Yes. Ooh, you're both right. You're both right. Look at the difference between the two that are in the chat. Let fucking go and let's fucking go. And you're both right. LFG is where you start taking, you start moving. A couple of my teachers say the successful people are the people who move. The other one says, pray and move your feet move. LFG is you moving. And you're used to this. You know what moving. That's why you're busy all the time. You know how to move, you know how to take action. But most of the action that we've taken up until this point was good girl, polished, careful, strategic and offensive action. And now we're ready for the hell yes. We're ready for the hell yes. LFG action. That feels so good and expands your capacity to receive what you drew in the design room. And that brave LFG action that is aligned with the date is the vision of what you would love and who you are when you show up in the world. It's that thing that feels both thrilling and exciting and also terrifying. It's that think that comes from the energy of your vision and not the energy of your mind or your conditioning or the programming.'cause that's boring, that's masculine, that logic, that strategy, that's not how transformation works. That's not how you collapse time and get the corner office. That's not how you collapse time and get yourself to Australia. Logic doesn't do that. That's not logical. It means relying on the guidance of your intuition. Okay? Oh my God, she's here too. I keep saying Dana, keep it together, but I don't need to. That's the patriarchy, right? I'm not keeping it together. I'm gonna keep it real for you. So she's here. Pam, you can type in the chat if you want to. Pam is my long-term client and she came to me last year feeling like a shell of herself. She didn't feel worthy. She didn't feel deserving of good things. She was overgiving. She's over functioning and she's never fe she said to me, I've never felt truly happy and I've never felt truly whole in the middle of my own life. Ham is not unique. She is not a unicorn. That's generally what we talk about in this breakthrough conversation that I'm gonna invite you into. So since our work together, Pam, you put, you throw a couple of pictures in the chat. Pam is one of the most joyful, happy, brilliant women I've ever met. She has taken over a year of aligned LFG actions to clear out the clutter of her space, to clarify who she is in relationships, to set boundaries, to get right with her relationship with money, honey. And now she asks what she for? What she wants. She welcomes it in. And when people offer to support her, she says, yes, thank you. Yes. Can I help you? Yes. If you don't know how they can make something up, and that's what she's done. Her relationships are more intimate. She's receiving money and overflow out of the blue, out of the woodwork. And most importantly, she is unapologetic about how much she loves herself and her people and her life. Pam and I are having a VIP day. What is that, Pam? Next week, she's coming to New Orleans for a VIP day. It's gonna be really special, and that's why one-on-one mentorship really matters. And long-term support makes a real difference because when you're breaking old rules, you're detoxing your conditioning, you're regulating your nervous system, and you're creating new belief systems, all of that benefit from somebody to link arms with you. Because let me be clear, I do not hold hands. I'm not a hand holder. I don't even hold my kids' hands. I'm like, let me link arms and we'll do this together. I link arms with you, and as you expand, as it feels scary, as it feels brave, as you take action, as there are trolls, as there are dragons, you link arms with somebody to walk that path with you, which is so much more powerful. Half of what we do with Pam. Pam and I, we've spent 50% of our conversations are celebrating, praising, appreciating, feeling good, recognizing progress because we're teaching mind, body, spirit, that is what safety and aliveness really is. It's safe to expand, it's safe to be unapologetic. It's safe to be bold and brave and come from a place of knowing that's your whole life. I've done group programs before and they're so fun, but they are nothing compared to one-on-one containers. Nothing. All right, last one. Are you ready? Look at me being on time today. The last one is, are you ready? E-B-R-E-B-R. Expand, become, receive, expand who you are. Become the woman who's ready and available for it and receive it in a way that feels like magic because it is. We don't do mindset and strategy in the conversation. We talk about manifestation. We talk about collapsing time. We talk about quantum physics. We talk about making the impossible. Your reality expand, become, receive, and you're becoming the woman that you decided that you are in the design room that you've remembered. It happens so naturally. It starts happening today. You're already in the fifth pillar. The fifth step, which is why it's not even linear. You are in this now. Who feels expanded? Who's become even more excited about who they actually are and who's ready to receive what you say you love? You're already in this. You're already doing it. When we face the dragons and create the life by design, and we bridge the trolls and take that LFG action, you become the woman that you were created to be from the inside out. That's why we don't start with the action. We start with the dragon and the date and the bridge, and then we take the action and you start stop. You stop trying and you just start living and you're making your decisions from this frequency and energy of that expansive version, sexy turn on, excited version of you, and you build the habits and the language and the boundaries that match her. That woman who's free, that's you. It's not somebody you're becoming, you're her today. Right now, in this moment, you stop trying to be an honorary man. Good Lord. That's a whole masterclass. We stopped trying to be an honorary man in the middle of a patriarchal system that set you up to judge and shame and limit yourself and other women, and you show up as a fully embodied, sovereign, wise, and empowered mother fucking woman. And that's why this work is so important. It's an expansion of your identity. It's not somebody new. It's just you on tint. It's you with the light all the way up. It's you. It's always been you. We're not waiting'cause we're already ready. We're not just detoxing the good girl we are embodying this woman who knows she's worthy, who knows she's deserving, who knows she doesn't have to please anybody or apologize. Then every single one of my clients will tell you that woman who started our work together is not the same woman who finished it. Gimme a nod. Clients. Gimme a nod. People have had one conversation. Yeah. Not the same person that walks outta that conversation, that coaching experience, that one year investment in yourself, and it happens so fast. This is what happens. They start their coaching businesses. They triple their monthly income. They ask for raises. They go international, they get promoted. They leave toxic jobs. They leave toxic relationships. They leave toxic situations, and they remember who the F, who the fuck they are. You saw what I did there. I tried to censor and I couldn't do it. They're led by the design of their own dream and the awareness that they don't have to be a good girl anymore. Ooh, they can collapse time and fall in love with their own life and show up with the confidence and the bravery and the audacity that is required to create what you say you would love. And let me tell you this. Take a breath. Stay with me. If you're a multitasking, come right back for this. When you do this for yourself, you do it for your ancestors because when we shift, there's a seven generation shift backwards and a seven generation shift forwards. If we're not just doing it for us. We're creating a legacy backwards and forwards, and for every woman we ever touch, and for every woman they ever touch. So every woman everywhere, every time, backwards and forwards. And now, because when you, as a woman live fully in your own light, you become a lighthouse. A lighthouse for women and the girls in your life. And we don't do that in a vacuum. We do it with supports, with accountability, with encouragement, with partnership, with someone who can help you hold that vision of who you are. When your nervous system and your good girl conditioning and the people start telling you not to post the thing. Don't you dare to post about kids in hospice. You're a, when you're your destiny, is to create a movement. A movement to help people welcome and love grief. How dare you tell somebody not to follow their dreams. We're gonna be done with that, and we're not gonna tolerate it when we witness it from other people. We're gonna get support to stay aligned with who we have decided that we are. You decided, put your hand on your heart, and I want you to say, I decide for her. I decide for me. I decide for this. I decide for her. I decide for me. I decide for this. Drop your hand. You don't need to do it again. You made the decision. If you need a reminder, that's where you have support. A mentor, a friend. A coach. All right. Recap five parts of the cycle. Pam says she decides number one dragon in the decision. That's you waking up and looking at it in the face. Number two, the hot date and the design room that's you loving on yourself and visioning what you love. Step three, we're bridging the trolls. This is where we alchemize those fears into our superpowers. Step four, LFG, action. That's your prayers and motion. That's you saying I'm available for this. I don't know if this masterclass is gonna work and I don't care, but I'm gonna take the action. Then as a result, step five as you, you become and you expand and you receive what you designed in the design room. Can I get an amen on a weekend? All right. Oh, I forgot to mention this, but for those of you who stay till the end, there are giveaways. I got two and they're so sexy, so hang out till the end. Here's what I want for you, my friend. Here's what I want for you. I want you to wake up without the weight of everybody else's needs pressing on your chest before your feet hit the floor. I want you to close your laptop when you're done working, and I want you to not be guilty about it. I want your rest to be a ritual to be sacred. I want you to never ask the question again. Am I worthy? Because you already know. I want you to stop apologizing and rewriting and softening and being less intense. I want you to take up more space, not because you earned it or you have a degree or a certification, but because you are some of the one. You are a piece of the master. I'm borrowing this from Kathy Heller'cause she's on point. You are a masterpiece. Of course, you're taking up space. I want you to raise your rate. I want you to ask for the raise. I want you to take the trip. I want you to say the thing that you've been holding back. I want you to stop over functioning. I want you to let other people rise to their own power or let them fail. Failing was the best thing that ever happened to me. I want you to teach your kids that boundaries are love. I want you to teach yourself that peace is the permission. I want you to let yourself be visible, be powerful, be magnetic, even when other people are shaming you are criticizing you. When your mom says, how dare you when you have to block your husband on social media'cause he is judging you. I want you to walk into every single room that you ever enter as a woman who does not need permission because she knows she is the permission. You are the permission if you are ready for that type of one in the chat, if you are ready for that type of one in the chat. Yeah. Yes. If you're ready to detox that inner good girl conditioning and start rising into who you were created to be, I would love to support you in doing that. And we're gonna close with a really special practice and giveaways. But I wanna make an invitation to you if you're feeling really called forward. Everybody here is awake, right? Gimme a nod. I'm awake. You learn about the good girl conditioning and some of you are like, I got it. I'm good. I'm set. You can take what we learned here and go live your best life and create it all, and it's a done deal. There are some of us like that, and then there are some of us who are feeling really called forward, who are really awake now, and you know who you are. You are waking up to your own power. You are waking up to the good girl conditioning. You are waking up to the truth. And you're seeing it as the thing that's keeping you from everything you say you want, your experiences, your money, your business, your relationships, your wellness, your sex, your presence with your kids where you don't even know where your phone is'cause you don't fucking care. Guess what else is a weapon of the patriarchy. Hello? Your waking up to real freedom. And if that's, you know that this masterclass is just the beginning. And if you wanna learn more about what it takes to create real lasting shifts in your identity and your expansion, I wanna make a special invitation to you into a breakthrough conversation. When we leave here, what is a breakthrough conversation? Some of you have had them, they're awesome, right? It's a free 90 minute phone call.'cause I can't do anything in 45 minutes as you found. It's a free 90 minute phone. Phone call. I'm sorry it's a zoom'cause who uses the phone? And in the conversation I'm gonna support you to identify all the things that we talked about today. Where is it showing up? How is it holding you back? Who is she? How can we take her on a date? And we're gonna go to the design room and start drafting the blueprint. And you'll have the experience of feeling deeply seen and deeply supported by a coach, a very skilled coach, might I add? And a life mastery consultant who's helped hundreds of women create their biggest dreams. If it feels like in that conversation, like you are a good fit for the work that I do, and I'm gonna be honest with you, I choose first. I pick first. You don't pick me, I pick you first. Then I'll share what that looks like. And I only work with very specific women who are ready to be done with the good girl conditioning and who want support and mentorship and guidance to go for it to LFG. And at the end of that conversation, if you decide you do wanna work together, which no pressure, I am not a used car salesman and I do not harass you because that is the patriarchy. That's like high pressure sales and I'm done with that. I will invite you in to work together and you get to say yes or no and you don't have to explain either way. If you get a call on the books by the end of the week and the call can be through the end of the year, my whole calendar for the ne for the next year is open. If you get a call on, I just put the link in the chat. No pressure. 90 minutes with me for your dreams. If you get the call on the books in the next week, right? The call can happen anytime by the end of the year. I'm gonna offer you$250 off your investment if you decide to work together. If you decide you don't want to work together, I'm okay with that too, but I wanna make it extra special for you. So I'm draw, the link is in the chat, and if you are watching the replay, you can find the link wherever you're finding the replay, or you can DM me and I'll send it to you. Okay? So that's the invitation. Join me for a breakthrough call. We're gonna get real down and dirty with your dreams. It's gonna feel so good and if you get on the books by the end of the year, but you gotta schedule the call in the next week. You can have$250 off as a gift from me for your first experience. Who feels good about that? Okay. Yeah. I want you to drop one word in the chat about how you're feeling right now. Just one word and then we're gonna do the giveaways and sign off and have our best life ever. One word in the chat, what did you come here to wake up to? What did you come here to remember? You didn't learn anything today, did you? There is nothing here that I taught you today that you didn't already know. Grateful. I'm gonna say that again. Just in case you didn't hear me in the back. I didn't teach you anything today. You didn't already know. You knew. Because you're part of the creator and the creator knows everything, and so does your soul. You just woke up a little bit and now you get to be magically awake at the wheel of your own gorgeous life. What, okay, here's how we're feeling. Breathe these words in. You can close your eyes while Sam, we're feeling grateful. We're feeling empowered. We're feeling excited. Oh, another Empowered, right? Empowered. Remembering your own power. You don't need somebody else to do it. You do it yourself. Feeling bubbly. Yes. Inspired, motivated, passionate. Anybody feeling sexy? Can I get a sexy on the chat? I need you to all be feeling sexy.'cause why not? All right. So I'm gonna do two giveaways for my girls who stayed live. Thank you. And Casey is going to pick the winners from the chat. So two giveaways. Are we ready? The first one is a free coaching session with me, straight coaching. You bring me a problem, we're gonna coach you through it. No pitch at the end, just a coaching session. And right now those things are valued at$500. I'm literally handing it to you. Who wants that? The second one is a$25 Starbucks gift card. Fuck it. Let's do two. Casey. Let's do two. Okay. So Casey is gonna take a deep breath and she's gonna pull the magic from the stars. And please put in the chat. Let's do the Starbucks gift cards first. Who wins the two Starbucks gift cards? Who is it? And I'm gonna put my email in the chat because I need you to email me to tell me that you are the winner. Casey is gonna put your names in the chat. Who is winning the two Starbucks gift cards?'cause who doesn't love Starbucks? Yeah. Yes. Okay, here are winners. Oh, yay won. Stephanie's got that winning energy. And Patricia, I already knew Patricia had winning energy. So Patricia and Stephanie, I put my email in the chat. Some of you already have my me on the dms. You can Facebook message me too if you want and just say, I'm a winner. Tell me what you want and I'll send it to you. Okay. Congratulations. And finally. Who has won the free coaching session? I'm so excited. I never do those. I do not offer free coaching. This is the first time I've ever done it. Oh, of course, Katie. I love it. All right, Katie, you got my email address. You got me on Facebook Messenger. I'll send you the calendar and you just want a$500 free coaching session with me. I cannot wait to be up in the middle of Y Dragons and y'all trolls and y'all dreams. And I want you to close your eyes, everybody, and put a hand on your heart. Take a really deep, really pleasurable breath and exhale. And before we sign off, I gonna remind you of a couple of things. You are no longer here to be the good girl. You are here to be whole. You honor your no as sacred. You let your yes be a hell yes. You say the truth even when your voice shakes. You rest as a ritual you receive because it's your birthright and you shine all the way on you. Remember that your power is not outside. It is inside. You are no longer a product of your conditioning. You are the author of your becoming. You are sovereign. You are powerful. You belong to yourself, and from that belonging, from that wholeness, from that light, everything you've ever wanted becomes your reality. I love you so much. I'm so grateful for you. What a gift it has been to spend this time together. Be sure to schedule your breakthrough call. The link is in the chat. Get it on the books. Open your heart and receive this from mine. I love you. You feel that? I'm so proud of you. And I believe in your ability to detox that inner good girl conditioning and step into the empowered, sovereign wise woman that you came here to be. Ain't.