I am Enough
What if we remembered that we are enough? What happens when we know we have choices, that things can be done differently and that we are all full of potential?
In this Podcast we share stories, experiences and tools, our own as well as others who join us to share their journey towards enoughness. We challenge cultural beliefs and patterns, and draw on the Wisdom of Nature exploring how all of this can support us in seeing our wholeness and create new possibilities.
I am Enough
Breaking Free: How Our Attachments Keep Us From Feeling Enough
What keeps us tethered to patterns, beliefs, and identities that no longer serve us?
In this deep exploration of attachment, we journey through the invisible threads that both connect and constrain us.
The conversation begins with a simple insight - our very first human experience is one of attachment through the umbilical cord. From there, we navigate the complex terrain of how we form connections to people, things, expectations, and even our own identities. Mark Henderson shares how physical tension in our bodies reflects our unwillingness to let go, while Scott Plate reveals how his theater directing experience showed him how desperately we cling to objects to make us feel real.
The dialogue takes an unexpected turn as we explore nature as our greatest teacher of attachment and release. "Trees let go every autumn," Mark observes, "shedding their leaves in complete trust they'll regrow in spring." This wisdom from the natural world offers a profound template for our own journeys of letting go.
Perhaps most practical exploration is the discussion around emotions - those 90-second chemical reactions that we extend indefinitely by attaching stories to them. Through simple awareness practices and perspective shifts, we discover how to allow emotions the space they need without becoming defined by them.
The most liberating realisation emerges when we question our fundamental assumptions: What if we're already okay? What if we already have what we need? As Scott beautifully articulates, "It's a much lighter burden when all we have to carry is our own presence."
This conversation invites you to examine your own attachments with gentleness and curiosity. Where might you be holding on too tightly? What freedom awaits in the space between?
Join us for this exploration of how letting go creates the possibility for experiencing our inherent enoughness.
Thank you for listening and taking the time to explore our podcast.
Earthaconter: Connection, Exploration and Expansion
www.earthaconter.org
Welcome to I Am Enough, the space where we explore journeys back to our forgotten birthright of enoughness, to draw on natural wisdom, along with awareness, acceptance and compassion, to support each of us on that journey and embrace our wholeness, despite what society tells us. Each one of us is enough exactly as we are. Sides he tells us each one of us is enough exactly as we are. My name is Lynn Mann and I'd like to welcome you to this space where we explore enoughness, people's journeys along the path to feeling I am enough, and look at what can support each of us on that journey.
Lyn Man:Hello and welcome to another episode of I am enough, the space where we embrace our wholeness. So today I have with me Mark Henderson and Scott Plate, and what we're going to explore today is the human need, instinct, habit. You can form it in different ways for attachments or to be attached to something, and it can be things, people, beliefs, expectations, busyness. And something Scott just suggested for was that need to feel real. And all of this keeps us when these attachments aren't supportive. It keeps us from our own enoughness. So how do we learn to attach to something more likely to loosen that grip or to change the attachment if it's not supportive? And it's not saying that this is easy that people often say just let go, and that isn't easy. So with all of this in mind, I'm going to open up to Mark and Scott and just see what's coming up for them right now around the theme of attachment.
Scott Plate:And it's interesting hearing you speak, Lyn I all of a sudden went into a womb like the ultimate. I don't have any memory of this, of course, and that's one of my great regrets being born male is that I could never bear my own children, but it feels to me like our first experience of other is through attachment. I have, you know, an umbilical cord attaching me to what's nurturing me. The environment is very close, I can sense it, I can even touch it, and then, you know, I emerge from this environment into an entirely different one and I'm comforted by my ability to touch what feels familiar, I would say.
Scott Plate:But the interesting process is then we begin this kind of process of individuation. We've been moving away from what it is that nurtured us, and it's rightful, it happens. But even moving away from what we used to be attached to, and rejecting it, implies an attachment, implies a relationship. So the space becomes charged with either what we need or what we tell ourselves we don't want. Either way it's an attachment. So we have our work cut out for us. You know, in a way, when we think about it that way, but when you were speaking, just for a second, some I went into amniotic fluid and womb umbilical cords, and I know both of you have children, so you have a very different sense of this. I don't have my own. I'd be interested in you know where we go with this. It's such an interesting topic I.
Mark Henderson:I love that, Scott, yeah, and when you were talking, I was, I was landing with my feet on the earth, because that is the ultimate attachment that we all have and and it's so important to to our material lives and something that we wanted a positive attachment, but a positive attachment, and ultimately we are, if not attached, but we're connected to everything.
Mark Henderson:But I think what we're exploring here is in relation to letting go, and I think it's one of the most difficult things that we humans encounter is the ability to let go of worries, beliefs, concepts, ideas, ambitions, expectations and just and I think of a somatic way, and just how how aware I've become over the last few years of carrying tension in the body, how difficult it is to really let go of that tension and to fully accept what is, and be in the present, and accepting of the present and what is real, real, what is alive at that very moment, and it's it's. It's an interesting exploration. You know how, how can we support ourselves to to let go, uh, in that very physical way? Because I think it's it's key to to health and to it's key to health and to being in the present moment as well. So I think there's great value in practicing that and being able to let go.
Scott Plate:It is difficult, isn't it, to really release that tension, because we feel like we're doing something when we have this body tension that prevents us from actually sensing. We feel like we're doing something when we have this body tension that prevents us from actually sensing what our deeper attachment is, which is to the experience of being ourselves. We don't have the equipment at the beginning to practice this. That's one thing I wish I had been taught as a child was how to have my own attention. So I paid attention and looked for it outside myself. But becoming attached to that tension becomes muscle memory, as you said. It becomes habit, becomes something we feel is work. You know, it's productive because it feels like there's something happening and we're exerting ourselves in some way. But I love the idea of letting go into space. We talked a little bit before we spoke. I used to teach acting and directing and also did it as a professional. I was sharing that.
Scott Plate:My favorite way to work was in the round, which is where the audience surrounds the action on 360 degrees, and so you can't have a lot of scenic elements the set because it blocks the audience's view from one side to the other.
Scott Plate:So if you're going to put anything on the set, it has to be off in the vomitoria and the voms. But the space in between was really just for human beings and relationships. But it was remarkable how uncomfortable actors were with empty space and they wanted a chair or a desk or something to touch or lean against, just to remind themselves that they were real. And, cruel though it may be, removed all solid objects you know from the environment because there wasn't anything in there that told the story any more effectively than the space could and the relationships could. So we had to desensitize folks to being alone and unattached and the panic that came up with that was one. I mean, it wasn't like everybody was having a breakdown, but it was remarkable to see how we. There's an aversion to being open and being free, because we are defined by the things that we attach to.
Mark Henderson:You know, we think those, those trappings become an identity, and at least that's in my experience, and freeing ourselves from those identity attachments is the work of a lifetime yeah, and that's surely the greatest attachment that we we carry around is is our own identity, and it limits us from being open and curious and to change and to really discovering ourselves and developing ourselves. I think it's because we're clinging on to something so tightly that there's so much that we miss out on as a result. I agree.
Scott Plate:It feels like if we can have a sense that we have what we need, there's no need for further attachment. So I remember learning from a coach who worked with me years and years ago and his experience that most people begin an exploration process with a question, spoken or unspoken. A question is am I okay? And then what happens is we go about making ourselves feel okay, and what that usually winds up meaning is engaging or re-engaging in familiar activities, whether or not they serve us. And he kind of proposed something revolutionary for me at the time. He says what if you're actually already okay and you don't need to make yourself okay? What would it be? How would it feel if you proceeded from that standpoint? You had what you needed. There was no need to bring anything else to you to supplement your idea of your identity. What if you just proceeded from the standpoint that wherever you stood, you were fine? You know for someone of my experience who was a worth earner and a you know, someone who needed.
Scott Plate:I was raised Catholic and Christian, so the path is to earn your salvation by doing something that is visible and useful in the world.
Scott Plate:So the path of self-improvement became one attachment after another to what I needed people to believe about me. So along the way I lost the ability to believe something about myself and that was the beginning of every single attachment that followed. So you know, I'm not saying I'm free from them, but one thing I did learn over time was, as my teacher would say, catch the thief of my attention in the act, catch him red-handed. As you begin attaching to something, just clock it, see it, and that little witness space gives you, I think, the measure of freedom that Mark was talking about a little bit earlier. And it's a process of clocking myself in the act of attaching, you know, and okay, I see, I see that I'm not a bad person, I'm working out of habits. I checked myself in the act and see what it is I need to attach to, and I love the idea of having your feet on the ground as a, as a lodestone, as a, as a talisman, coming back back no matter where you are to.
Mark Henderson:I'm actually here now and that's plenty to contend with. And imagine how much energy we expend perpetuating this identity and all these masks and these identities and expectations and how we want to be seen, and it's just exhausting, it is.
Scott Plate:Do you remember the film? Oh sorry, the Matrix reminds me how we all become batteries, that wonderful bit of Neo where we're just expending all of this false, needless energy and we're just feeding something else that is sipping out of us with a straw.
Mark Henderson:Yeah, and it feels like when we can manage to come home to ourselves, to land somewhere deep inside of ourselves, those things sort of fade away, they're not needed. In that moment, at least they yeah where we can let go of them.
Scott Plate:And that sort of sense of being grounded in one's own being and nourished there and present and open is a great feeling but gives, yeah, that sense of freedom and, uh, and nourishment and connection and I think, in a way, the beginning of freedom from attachment, at least in my own practice, starts with choosing the experience I'm actually having over the one I think I should be having, and very often the experience I think I should be having is defined by what I imagine other people want me to be, have or experience want me to be, have or experience. So if I can choose me and I know it sounds self-interested, but sometimes being self-interested is one of the most generous things you can be is if I can choose me first. I'm here, I have what I need, I'm enough, this is enough. Not only is it enough, it's more than enough. There's no need to pull things to me.
Scott Plate:I feel in a way like you put a magnet in a bowl of paperclips and if I'm not present, I start pulling things to me that fill the void of not enoughness or nothingness, and it works for a while. I mean it could be careers, houses, cars, food, alcohol, you know, relationships, whatever. It's an impressive kind of assembly of resources, but it's energy that gets expended in a way that doesn't serve the source. It's pulling things to us and I wonder what it would feel like to just reverse the polarity If you took a magnet and turned it around. So, in other words, it doesn't mean I'm repelling what it is. It just means that I'm radiating what I am and I don't need more things to come to me to prove that I'm more you know.
Lyn Man:That's an interesting concept there, because just, I've been listening to you and my mind's kind of going, you know, it's like the different things that are coming up, the range of everything. It's like we're going from we're actually starting from actually a physical attachment when we're born and when we get thrown answers in the world, we're suddenly like whoa, what's going on? And we are then that we're still looking for that attachment. But then going on to what mark was saying about being present. So when we're present and truly, truly present, so our mind is just well, I guess we're going back to what you said on experiencing we just let it, we're here, we're in the moment and we're letting whatever happen around us, with no attachment.
Lyn Man:But then when you talked about Scott, about not attracting things towards us that define our enoughness, for me what was that is then interesting? It's like we're living, we have to live in this world so we can show up present and we can be in that space, which we all know is one of the most difficult things to be present at. All the time is, but and and I I don't know that any would be truly, truly present all the time but then if we look at to live in this world. You know how do we have that if we look back to even Maslow's hierarchy of needs and think about that, from the safety security we need, food we need there are physical things we need.
Lyn Man:We're humans. It's around relationships. But the question becomes how do we come from a place where, going back to what you were saying at the start, of not holding on tightly to these needs? So we know to survive in the world and maybe that's an attachment I'm having, it's a belief that that's what we need to survive in this world. But how do we operate in this world? Receiving, doing, giving whatever we have to do, without holding on too tightly to the things that support us and allow us to thrive in the world?
Mark Henderson:I think, Scott, you were sort of nudging that earlier with your magnet analogy, and I think it's about us realizing what are actually our needs, what do we really need and what can we jettison, let go of? And if we can become and send out the energy of truth to ourselves, then I think we enter a frequency that will resonate with exactly what we need and it will come to us easily. But it's just creating the space for that, because our society doesn't support that. There's so many distractions and so much money spent on convincing us that we have many more needs. It's very difficult to resist and step out of that, but it is all about and.
Mark Henderson:I think in my own experience, when you've faced loss of something very precious to you or the potential of that loss, you go through a sort of traumatic mourning or process, but you do survive, you do come through it, and you come through it stronger somehow, with that realization that I'm still here, I'm still living. It makes us stronger. We realize how much we can actually cope with. So, yeah, I think it's about coming home to ourselves and just realizing what we actually need, getting real about that and letting go of everything else as much as possible.
Scott Plate:I love that, mark. It's so essentially simple to do, you know, in a way. But simple isn't always easy, you know, for a lot of us. But I love that. I love that framing. You know, when, when, when Lyn was speaking about how we have to be in this world, you know there's a. There's that wonderful line from Hamlet. He says you know, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Scott Plate:So when I hear Mark speaking about frequency and energy and how to attune ourselves to something that is beyond tactile, physical attachment, so in a simple practice, it's how can I pay attention to the space between me and someone else as opposed to just that other person?
Scott Plate:So what does the space that we share need from me, as opposed to what do I need from you and getting tractor being locked on that need and having a difficult time letting it go.
Scott Plate:So it supports what Mark is saying coming home to ourselves, so that I gesture out from me and I fill the space that I share with everything my partner, the pets I'm in care of or who are in my care and I try to feed the space what it needs in order for everything that shares it to feel well.
Scott Plate:So then I don't need anything other than my own attention on my attention, if that makes sense. It's again, it sounds great in theory, but practicing it, as you know, as you said earlier in this world, is another thing entirely. But I've learned as a coach that early on my clearest form of attachment was assuming that I had something that other person needed and giving it to them. So I was attached to my own need to be useful. I was attached to my own need to give counsel, give advice, and the practice slowly became pulling back from that attachment across the space and paying attention to it. Because it had an intelligence, it had its own enoughness. There was nothing I could add that would make it any more about me than it wasn't already.
Mark Henderson:I love that, Scott. So true, so true. A trip over itself. Yeah, it occurs to me that the most times I've had when I've felt that I don't need anything at all, that the most enoughness that I've experienced, if you like, have had nothing to do with the material world, the moments of bliss where one has a spiritual experience of something far greater, a love far greater than we can know and goes beyond description. Um, so yeah, it's, it's way beyond the material world and, uh and things. That's where the, the real enrichment and feeling of of a nationalist, I think, is to be found.
Scott Plate:I agree, I think things that feel material actually have their own form of energy. And, and you know, walking around I had a client early on who didn't have any money but she had a ton of wisdom and she said well, I don't have, I can't pay you, but I can trade what I know. And she was 80 something and she was a landscape designer, so she was quite attuned to every rock and tree and creature and so I thought this is worth whatever you know. So she took me around the place where we live and had me pay attention to she just called it tempo rhythm. She said you know, everything vibrates at a specific frequency. To support what Mark was saying before, Some tempo rhythm metronomes are slower, some are more rapid and our job is to find out the language wherever we are.
Scott Plate:So, if I can attain myself, have this big rock as I walk the dogs on the property. It's this amazing thing and it always felt very significant to me. So what I tell myself is I need to move more slowly around this rock because its density requires my density. So the energy pattern. We can realize that we have the capacity to be what we need to be in relationship without needing to be anything other than that relationship. So it kind of gave me a sense of freedom and capacity to know that I could walk with trees or rocks or animals or anything vibrating at whatever frequency and figure out what the space between us felt like and then attune my attention to serving it with a just simple caring, you know, interest or curiosity, as Mark said earlier. So we've got a lot to work with. We, just as Mark said, get distracted by things that move and things that feel, things that we feel you know things about. So it's a good practice to kind of for me, focus on what the space between.
Scott Plate:I was thinking about when you were speaking earlier, like a flock of geese came in my mind. If I look at a flock of geese, what makes them a flock is not each individual goose, but the space between them. This, they, they all have this distance. It's like negative space is what architecture calls it, but it's actually the, the emptiness that causes the solid object to exist. We don't see it as distinct without that emptiness, and so it's. It's nice to be able to recalibrate. If we're going to attach to something, can we attach to the empty energetic space and feel into it? It's a different form of attachment, but it's certainly not when I can get my hands around, you know, and clutch.
Mark Henderson:So and with that, I think, Scott, there's, isn't there, a sense of connection? And, and I love that you, you bring up the frequency of rocks and trees and and, and there they have. Nature so much to to teach us about presence. If we really slow down and tune in, as you were saying, to these different aspects of nature, there's so much we can sense into those different feelings of presence. There's a lot of nourishment to be had there and a lot to learn. The trees let go, don't they? They let go every autumn of their leaves, in full trust that they can reclose themselves again in the spring. I just wonder what that feels like, just to be able to completely, just let go, cycle everything, yeah, and stand there in magnificent nakedness for the winter.
Scott Plate:Now it's a wonderful, I think, to unencumber ourselves the way a tree can do is a wonderful way of learning about attachment, what it feels like. I'm going to let this go. There's a wonderful book that I can't remember if I shared in one of our earlier conversations. It's an author named Louise Hogan, called the Radiant Lives of Animals, and she talks about her awareness. And she somehow wound up steward of a 15-acre property somewhere in Colorado, in the American West, and she was walking around. She had a dog and she was walking around looking at all this beauty around her and all of a sudden aware that it was actually also looking at her.
Scott Plate:So, moving through something that we assume is inanimate with and I love that you use the word connection and relationship with a sense of our relationship to it intact, which also implies that the other has a vested interest in our existence, it all of a sudden we transition or transcend beyond the need to attach to something to prove that we're real. If we know that we're seen, even by a tree and a rock, then I feel so full it's hard to describe so fulfilling to know that I exist because I'm here with these other entities, and that is boy. Is that enough for me. I mean, it cures me quickly of my need to pull things to me to make myself more.
Mark Henderson:Yeah, I love that, Scott. We so easily forget that. We're so self-absorbed, aren't we? But we forget that there's so much life there that is sensing us and our presence as well, hooking them up and seeing how they respond to our voice and loving words, and it's beyond any doubt now the evidence is there that they respond to us, and it's just so easy to forget because we're so self-absorbed with all our attachment, carrying around all our attachment Exactly.
Scott Plate:How could anything? Where is there space for anything else to connect If I'm covered in paperclips? But, you know, I look at my husband, who is, you know, I like to garden and work outside, and then, of course, I met this person who's genuinely gifted at this, and watch him move around the property and watch his relationship to anything that is or grows, and it's remarkable to see someone who simply knows they're there, knows he's there, and there's a simplicity and a stillness and the dogs want to hang around with him when he's doing it. They all kind of just follow him around as he's working and settle wherever he is and then he moves and then they move. So it's an interesting energy pattern to observe how presence is its own reward, presence is its own reward, Presence is its own fulfillment, you know.
Scott Plate:So the question that comes to mind is how did I learn how to attach to things? You know, once I, you know we talked about the womb. But how did I learn that I needed more than me? And you know, I think, in a sense, relationship. You know, I looked at my mother, you know, when I as this life giving force and then, of course, began as a teenager to push her away. And but I'm just this how does that switch flip that we move from having everything we need in this environment and being connected to it to thinking we need more of something and being connected to it to thinking we need more of something? And it is the nature of evolution, in a way, to want more, to progress towards something, to achieve. Maybe it's an evolutionary impulse, I don't know. And then the next evolutionary impulse is to recognize what is intrinsic and not need anything that isn't intrinsic. So maybe it's part of evolution to free ourselves from attachment, but it's also a part of evolution to understand what attachment is.
Lyn Man:I'm going to bring it back to practicality for a moment.
Scott Plate:We've wandered far afield.
Lyn Man:Absolutely beautiful concept and I do you know this whole, you know, goes back to exactly what you're saying.
Lyn Man:It's being present and we can see and learn so much from the space around us, from being in nature. But coming back into our relationships with others and with society, and when you were talking just then, Scott, about how do we learn, we learn from observing others and how we have to what we perceive as survive, what we have to do to survive, and it is interesting even with going back to wanting more, and I think it's so individual in a way, as to what we want and what we need. But to some extent there is also a societal element, that the expectations that we believe are on us and again different people will react in different ways are there. But in coming back to us as humans interacting in our everyday world, what, in your own experience, actually allows you to, or has supported you to, become more present, to be with that space between people. Be with that space between people, to sense into things whatever it is, as opposed to reacting and sitting in the head of expectations.
Mark Henderson:In my experience, it's where the fun is, in that space in between. It's where I can sense quality of life in between. Those relationships, those spaces in between are full of potential for connection and nourishment and mirroring oneself with the right people, of course. But but that's what comes to me then, anyway, and that, and because it's so, it feels so rewarding. You know it's, it's something that you, you then create in your life to find those people and to um, to spend time and and in those spaces yeah, affinity definitely is something we can sense and I think that is the juicy stuff, the relationship, the space between.
Scott Plate:I think an exercise that was given to me to practice had to do with just adjusting how we see. So, for example, if I close my eyes and I look at something opposite me and it's a solid object, you know, I just look at it, no matter if it could be a light switch, it could be a painting on a wall. When I close my eyes and I just notice what my eyes do, my eyes go after it, name it, acquire it. There's an acquisitiveness about seeing that we can be aware of. So we close our eyes and open and see this object in the ordinary way. And then we try something a little different. We close our eyes and open, see the object and see if we can allow it to come to us. So the polarity of the move goes from I'm going after this thing to name it, identify it, objectify it to I'm going to allow it to come to me. Now, that's a little bit of an abstract jump for some people, but they get a sense of it with about a minute's worth of practice and then we toggle back and forth. I'm going to go see it in the ordinary way. I'm going to see it so that it comes to me, and what happens invariably is people become far more aware of the space between the object and them the second way of seeing. So it takes our magnet principle in reverse. What am I drawing to me in relationship that allows me to feel that connection, and how can I see the world in a way that allows the space between me and everything else to be the primary element? So simple little toggle exercise see something in the ordinary way, then see it in a way that allows it to come to you without forcing anything, with your mind not pulling it, with just allowing it to come to you, without forcing anything, with your mind not pulling it, with just allowing it to come to you. And what develops is this relationship of inclusive space.
Scott Plate:It's an interesting way to work on it, but I think the practice for me, that is to catch myself in the act of engaging automatically with anything, and mechanically. So my mechanical tendency is to talk, as we've noticed. So what people have offered to me is are you breathing while you're talking? So are you actually reversing the outflow of words with the resistance of an intentional breath. So I get to feel a little bit of that when it's learned to drive standard transmission, that kind of relationship between gas and clutch. As I interact with the world in the form of language and speech, can I calibrate the energy by making sure that the speaker is actually pausing and breathing and taking in nourishment. So a couple of things that have worked for me over time is taking a pause, taking a breath and stopping the express train. You know all evidence to the contrary at the moment, but it actually. It has actually helped me, because it should be a lot worse if you can believe that.
Lyn Man:I love that. But it is interesting because it goes back to actually how we are all so different. But what you're saying there reminds me of something that I saw somebody saying was almost thinking where you're speaking from. And are you speaking just purely in the head and you can hear it because it's that energy behind it and it's going fast? Or have you taken it down and grounded and actually come into speaking from the heart? Or you're speaking from the stomach? So, depending where you want to come from, and when I heard that and tried it, I found that fascinating because it really comes back to that presence and awareness of where we are right now within our body. So what are we feeling? And it changes, I guess what's coming out as well.
Lyn Man:Just going back to as well, when you were both talking, one of the things that I use is I loved your examples. But just going back to say, because emotions are often the hardest things that you know, if we look at it and emotion is a 90-second chemical reaction, yet we attach a story to it and it becomes a feeling and then it becomes so much bigger. So, just from a practical perspective again, how do you personally allow emotions to process? Either by letting go of the story, by not attaching or being aware. What is it that you have learned to do over time? To support yourself, not to when you're in that space.
Mark Henderson:I think emotions can be so strong and we get so caught up in them and attached to them and that closes us down and we become so wrapped up and absorbed by them. So I think for me, what I try to do is to sort of find a different perspective and have the helicopter view, the bird's eye view, of my life and see that bigger perspective, and that usually helps a lot to shift things. Yeah, I think that's what comes to mind for me.
Scott Plate:It's such an interesting question. Going back to again acting training, I remember when an actor starts to cry, the first response often is to seize up, contract, shut it down, because we feel something flowing that's larger than our experience in that moment. We don't know how to shape it, channel it, guide it, control it. So what we do is make it smaller, and I noticed that happens in many people's emotional lives when they feel they've all of a sudden, you know, gone for a leisurely swim and find themselves in the middle of an ocean and they don't know how they got there or what the dimensions of it are, and the instinct is to get very, very tiny.
Scott Plate:So what I've learned in my own practice is to let it have the space it needs, being mindful of the space that I share with someone else. So it doesn't mean, you know, if we all walked around operating strictly from our feelings, we'd all be in little padded cells, however, but it's just having that perspective that Mark talked about, but being aware that I am responsible as this happens and I'm also responsible to the space. So what I do may fill the space, but it also has to be aware of the fact that someone else shares it. So the first step for me is release the contraction Somatically, release the need to clamp down. Let it have the time it needs, which, as you said, is usually about 90 seconds. Let it have the time it needs, which, as you said, is usually about 90 seconds, and then it passes. And be mindful that I'm with other beings who are going to be affected by what I'm experiencing. It doesn't mean
Scott Plate:I have to make myself small again, but it does mean the relationship becomes again an important factor.
Lyn Man:Thank you both for that and I'm really drawn to the making yourself small. And actually where it took me to was actually, with all of this, with our attachments, a lot of it is about making ourselves small. We might perceive them, making us look big, but in reality a lot of the time it's holding us in that contraction. Going back to what Mark shared right at the beginning about that tension in that body, in our bodies, and it, that tension, is a reflection of us holding on and keeping in that contracted space. So I'm just really just to finish, as I'm conscious of time here, that for me what's beautiful is actually coming back to a presence to let go and open up like a flower butterfly out of the cysalis, whatever, but to be in our fullness and to stop being contracted and held in by all of what we think we should be attached to or should be doing.
Scott Plate:We wouldn't need more if we didn't feel small on some level or we didn't feel not enough. It's, I think, in a way the trick of the world is, you know, we think we need more, for whatever reason, nature nurture, whatever it would be. But part of the process of releasing attachments involves unlearning what we have learned about who we are and what we need, and tapping into something intrinsic. And that's a lifetime's work, but it's work worth doing because it's a much lighter burden when all we have to carry is our own presence.
Mark Henderson:It's a spiritual journey, Scott, when we remember that we are spiritual beings having earthly experience. It puts it in perspective and we can expand into that vastness. That is everything, and then all needs fall away and we have freedom from suffering, as the Buddhists would say.
Scott Plate:I keep thinking that when I die, I'll finally know I'm enough. Moving into this expanded, this infinite, this kind of consummation of enoughness. I'll finally be the space I've been trying to sense all this time. So I keep saying I'm looking forward to dying. Unfortunately, I won't be able to share it with the people I love in the same way, but that's okay.
Mark Henderson:Or will you.
Lyn Man:Yeah.
Scott Plate:Maybe, if we're looking at, it's interesting because I still get postcards from my father you know died 11 years ago, you know, so to speak, but he's, he's definitely I. You know, I feel my attachment in form of my love for my, for my people who have passed away, shows up now in the form of me continuing to work on what I need to work on. That way I can carry them further in their own lives. But I also recognize that as an attachment to be better. So it's okay, I'm. Maybe the attachments grow a little differently, configured energetically, but go away completely. So yeah, it is.
Lyn Man:It's interesting, isn't it, how we can make things seem wrong and going back to what mark said. We're living here and we're having this human experience and it does come back to it's about experience and actually not making ourselves right and wrong about things can help. So, yes, well, thank you both so much this conversation. It's gone all over the place and in places I could never have imagined. So thank you for not being attached to anything that was discussed beforehand and just going with it.
Scott Plate:The magic of this relationship.
Mark Henderson:Thank you both Thank you.
Lyn Man:Thank you for listening to this episode of I Am Enough. We hope you enjoyed it and are inspired to see yourself as enough and create possibilities. If you would like to discover more, please visit earthacontaorg.