Listen, trust, create: Let the wisdom of the shared space emerge

What if the smartest person in the room is the room itself? 

We gather with Alex Papworth, Mark Henderson, and Scott Plate to explore the quiet power of shared spaces—how simple structures, deep listening, and genuine belonging turn groups into living systems that think and feel together.

We start with the theatre, where a director’s first vision only becomes real when the whole cast can co‑create it. From there we travel to indigenous models of community that bake belonging into daily life, not as a perk but as the operating system. Along the way, Scott’s meeting experiment—90 seconds per speaker, no interruptions, everyone heard before repeats—shows how a few clear rules can shift status patterns, bring forward quieter wisdom, and heal the “memory” of a room shaped by past tensions.

Nature becomes our teacher. We borrow metaphors from forests and mycorrhizal networks to understand how healthy groups distribute attention and resources where they are needed most. We compare “stupid spaces” (pre‑decided outcomes, dominance by loud voices, speed over sense) with wise spaces that use light process, presence, and curiosity to unlock collective intelligence. Practical ideas abound: the count‑to‑ten exercise that teaches sensing and restraint, live word clouds to surface consensus, rotating facilitation, and bookending meetings by asking how people feel—without fixing them.

Across stories and practices, a theme repeats: belonging begins within. When we feel safe in ourselves, we can offer difference without armour, dissent without rupture. That’s how culture changes—one respectful round, one named tension, one brave pause at a time. If you’re ready to redesign your meetings, teams, or communities for trust, psychological safety, and real collaboration, this conversation offers the maps and the courage to start.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a teammate, and leave a review telling us one practice you’ll try next.

Thank you for listening and taking the time to explore our podcast.

Earthaconter: Connection, Exploration and Expansion
www.earthaconter.org

Transcript

Welcome And Purpose Of Enoughness

Lyn Man 0:00

Welcome to I Am Enough, the space where we explore journeys back to our forgotten birthright of enoughness, to draw a natural wisdom along with awareness, acceptance, and compassion. To support each of us on that journey and embrace our wholeness. Despite what society tells us, each one of us is enough exactly as we are. My name is Lyn Man, and I'd like to welcome you to this space where we explore enoughness, people's journeys along the path to feeling I am enough, and look at what can support each of us on that journey. Hello and welcome to another episode of I Am Enough, the space where we embrace our wholeness. So today I have with me Alex Papworth, Mark Henderson, and Scott Plate. And we're going to have a discussion around the wisdom of shared spaces. And even in that, you know, this whole conversation has come around through conversation, through discussion, through sharing our own insights and wisdom. And through various scenarios and misunderstandings, we were going to do another topic, but have come back to this after discussion in the shared space. So I'm just going to open it up to to whoever would like to speak first and just really think about what what do you see as the wisdom of shared spaces?

Theatre Lessons On Collective Creation

Scott Plate 1:48

Thanks for being willing to explore this. It's something that's I think it's become dear to me. And one of the reasons I was drawn to working with people here is it seems dear to them too. My background is in the theater, and so I was trained as a director, and we needed to treat a play as a living form of intelligence. And so a space that was created where the play would live needed to reflect the intelligence of the play. So my job was to create access to everyone who was a part of the production so that they felt as though they could co-create and re-replicate in some way a symbol or an emblem of that piece of work that felt representative of our collective point of view. And that took time. The director has like an initial vision, but the vision doesn't go anywhere if it isn't as inclusive and as accessible, I would say, as possible. And then the culture was strengthened by allowing points of view to emerge. So, yes, someone starts quote unquote up air quotes in charge, but the person who ignores the emerging intelligence of what's being created, two heads are better than one, for example, does so at their peril just because the space is so much more intelligent than the individual at the end of the day. So I learned to trust it even when there wasn't anything there, anything apparent. So, and then the reason I was drawn into this kind of exploration is that with Earth of Conter and some of the programs we've been trying to think about, they thrive on that collective intelligence and they depend on it, and they actually celebrate it. So I think it's there's so many examples of why this is true, and I'm glad that we're allowing ourselves a little time just to kind of explore some of them.

Lyn Man 4:00

Thanks, Scott.

Mark Henderson 4:02

Yeah. For me, um taken to picturing indigenous community, and you know, in our in our ancestral lines, you know, we we have all come from very different societies and societies where community was everything, where coming together was built into the design of that community. It was just a natural flow. And you know, in our Western society we've we've moved away from that and this strange notion of independence and you know, it is is sort of promoted with with a lot of ails, as we see, a lot of mental health issues, and uh it's not not a good development. So uh I think of that, and I think of uh also biodiversity, and and as nature ourselves, when we come together in a a shared space, we're bringing our own wisdom, our own aspect of nature into that sharing. So it's I just the whole concept just makes entire sense to me and links to also links to to trust as as already mentioned, you know, that uh trusting each aspect of nature and as as human nature to to share what's alive within them, and and that that's what is required for the common, the collective. I'm also reminded of a a book I read some years ago called Croudocracy. It was a very interesting study of uh various experiments done which proved that if you take uh any population and ask them to vote on a particular subject, even though they're not subject matter experts, the the results were always the same, that it it landed without without any intervention or or money as we see in politics. The the result was a common sense answer. I remember thinking, wow, imagine if we could really implement that into democracy, it would be amazing. So yeah, there's so many dimensions to this, and it's it but it feels for me first and foremost like a totally natural aspect of who we are and how we interconnect and uh interact with each other.

Lyn Man 6:59

Thanks, Mark.

Anxiety, Structure, And Belonging In Groups

Alex Papworth 7:01

Yeah, it's uh it's very interesting. Uh and I I was gonna start with um I don't have to describe this exactly, but I don't find group environments conversations necessarily that easy. So I was thinking about the stresses and strains that that introduces, and and and here's actually quite like a nice live example of structure. We've effectively passed the the mic around in turn, which is one of those things I think the part of a a group environment makes things easier because there is a you know, it's the questions of what's permitted, what's what's what's allowed, what's expected, which are the sorts of things that certainly run through my my or have run through my head, let's say, it's not necessarily the case these days, but certainly I've always I I have found that tension about I guess it's that fitting in. So so there's so there's it can be difficult to be in in this in that sort of space in my experience, but equally impossible not to be in the sense of of achieving, of creating collectively. So I I think of recent examples, I mean we're talking before about compost and um the time I spent with Marie and Lyn. And I absolutely needed that in order to get something growing in this this explanation of compost, just to I don't know, it feels like you know, bassing something around. And it's just you create some sort of energy, some well, there's creation essentially, is it is it was the essence, uh the essence of my experience. So uh I suppose I'm I'm holding my hand up and saying I come at this not with reluctance, but maybe a little bit of awkwardness and valuing it, but also recognising you know person a personal difficulty I've certainly had in the past. Which is I don't know, I feel it speaks to the sort of need to be part of part of a good group and permissions and so forth. So yeah, but in the spirit of creating something as part of a group and a wisdom of a shared space, I can now I can now hand back the talking stick and um see what see what comes from that and and uh part of that is a sense of like um creating a bit of a mess, disturbing things a little bit, and then saying, I don't know where this I don't know what this means or where I go or what it's about, but here you are.

Counting To Ten And The Art Of Listening

Lyn Man 9:32

It is interesting, isn't it? Because that that shared space is is an unknown when we when we come into to that shared space. And if we if we look at it from that place of our you know humanness, then you know we're all coming with whatever baggage we've had from shared spaces before. And and going back to what Scott was talking about in in doing the play and allowing whatever needed to emerge. So it was it was interpreted in a way that worked with all of all of the people, the all the actors, the director, everybody. It was it it allowed it to evolve is what I was hearing when when Scott was talking. And you know, just listening to Alex then it's that only happens when actually people feel they can be heard in that shared space and that they are allowed to step into it fully and not sit on on the edges of it. And it's interesting if we take it back into to nature and to a natural ecosystem and just seeing how it's in a way it's an ecosystem that works from its own natural intelligence. So yes, there's there's many different parts to the ecosystem, but it works as a whole. Which again, going back to S Scott's description, is what I h heard him saying. It's that it's no longer about the individuals, it's about the space and letting the space evolve with the individuals. And I think, you know, we've talked you also mentioned about the project we've been working on, um Scott, so coming together in a space to create something that we all had a real interest in creating so a new way of of doing things but with no preconceived ideas as to what it would look like. And I think when it's coming from that place of exploration, you said mock trust and and just letting things emerge, then we can actually almost be more connected with the space and with each other rather than coming into a space where going back to what you were saying, Alex, there are there is that that tension, okay, what's expected of me, what are the rules, what are the whatever. And I think it's it's just interesting as to how how do we get the these spaces to work when people are stepping into the unknown and and some people are gonna be naturally maybe more confident or more willing to express their views, and yet for it to work, we have to allow everybody to dance in that space.

Word Clouds, Consensus, And Networks

Scott Plate 13:14

It's interesting. There's a game that I used to use in classrooms, and the group has to have the group just simply needs to count to 10. And you stand in a circle, and anyone can say a number. But if anybody says a number at the same time as somebody else, we go back to the beginning. So the wisdom of the shared space really is cultivated by listening into the space first and sensing who might need to emerge, as opposed to I'm gonna get this done and I'm gonna lead, and I'm gonna say two. You know, the end you could quickly see, you know, who was wired that way and who was wired in a different way. And the quote-unquote successful arrival at 10 depended absolutely on the ability to listen, because some people had to learn that even though my impulse in a group might be to lead, it might not be what's required in this space. This space needs me to be different. And if I'm not listening, I won't know that. There's a there's a there's an app that I remember being into do, I think, I think it's called Mentimeter or something, where you can create word clouds live in real time. So, for example, you know, there it's often used in in conferences and things where there's a big group of people, a couple of hundred, and they're all invited to log into this site or do a in a code, like take a photograph photograph of a QR code, and then they're asked their opinion on something. And what happens is the frequency of, you know, with a word cloud, the frequency of the word determines the size of its iteration up there on the screen. But what was this tiny little miracle to me was that we were reaching consensus silently in the moment, simply because we were engaging with our thoughts. But in front of us was this massive picture of who we were becoming together. So the group, in a sense, with no one leading, had skin in the game, basically deciding what the course of the next hour was going to be. And so there was no need to prove it. There was no need to give anyone credence or or take it away. It was just this is what the group has decided, and no one needed it to be right. And there was this interesting kind of compelling visual manifestation of what it might look like under the soil to me. Like what would happen? What does a mycorrhizal network actually look like? And this is a digital version of it, but what would it feel like to be in that same kind of intelligence that feels into the space, gets a good read about what the nutrients are that are available, how to distribute them, you know, seeing what the network determines is the priority at the moment, and then deciding to move toward it together. I run into my own impatience, you know, getting things done, knocking things off. And that bec invariably becomes a stumbling block to listening. I don't hear anything other than the sound and the voice inside my own head. And then I've become, I've isolated myself. And I can't live that way, ultimately, and have a relationship. And I think the what's attractive to me about this idea is it underscores the in intelligence in relationships. When I work with couples, I try to let them know that my client is not you or you, it, but it's the space between you. That's what needs to be fed, that's what needs to be nurtured. And I try to take care that what any of us puts in the space has the capacity to make the other feel well. And it doesn't always happen. And damage results when that doesn't happen. And we taking back to what Mark said with the wisdom of Indigenous cultures, this feels as though it's an inherited notion that people come up in this space understanding the importance of that collective identity. And without it, I mean, I can't think of a worse fate for someone from that tribe than to be exiled, you know, to be set off on their own. I'm sorry, you can no longer be a part of this, you no longer share these values. But it's it's gone on for millennia, and we have come away from it in a way, a part of the achievement era. And I've I'm definitely a part of that, fortunately or unfortunately. And I'm just curious as to what we can build together out of what's becoming deconstructed now.

The Space Between Us In Relationships

Culture, Safety, And The Cost Of Belonging

Mark Henderson 18:00

I love that, Scott. And uh a couple of things come to mind. Uh it's it's about an intentional space. So you so your example of you know the the getting to 10 in a group, there was there was a sort of agreement about right, we're going to this is the game we're going to play. And you know, as as cultures develop, that that sort of doesn't need to be communicated because it's understood. It was just it's just known. Exactly. But in our very diverse cultures, we can step into all sorts of shared spaces and not know the rules of the culture and what we're stepping into. So and and many of the spaces we step into are feel as you were saying, Alex, feel pretty pretty scary. And do I really want to say something? You know, do I feel safe enough to say something? So there's that that sort of quality around an understanding around uh the the culture. And then also, Alex, you mentioned belonging, and I think in and and Scott, you were going there as well. You know, the if that that's so important for us and for for for humans to to thrive is to to feel belong, that we belong somewhere. And it can also it can also be an issue uh where we choose not to speak up. And because we we want we don't want to be thrown out of the tribe, but we don't want to be exiled. And that can be in a work situation or or other social situations where we we're actually not connecting into our true self. We're we're sort of it's a form of denial or or or worse of what we truly feel because we don't want to lose that belonging. And I think that's uh that's a big issue in in many situations where we go along with things that we don't necessarily agree with just because we're that that we want to hang on to that belonging. Right. Right.

Alex Papworth 20:13

That's um yeah, I I feel uh from that mark, I need to point out the uh the stupidity of shared spaces as well. So wisdom is not necessarily given. Yeah. But uh I was I had been I was thinking earlier about the conditions, and you sort of started touching on some of the conditions necessary for that. Sonny belonging seems seems like one and sunny is something I've experienced uh and within Earth Counter space is is you know, it's our safety, it's that feeling of trust, but but it feels like belonging for me is one of those conditions. But the other thing I liked from, you know, things like the counting game and processes, but and the and the mycorrhizal network reminded me of sort of process, there's never to be complicated. It can be very simple. But I think a scene needs to be process either way, process, or something that keeps a weak and adopt. And and for me the things are the mycorrhizal network, well, there's there is no complexity happening there, it's not confusing. You don't have to think about it all. It's just you know, I don't even understand it really, but it's that sensing reaching out. But I know it's I know it's not complicated. I know it's not um an intellectual challenge. It's sort of relying on simplicity of processes. So I suppose for me that it feels like there's something in there around the a process. You know, I'm I'm I'm thinking of um the Quakers, I don't know, the direct personal experience, but the idea of sitting in in a circle in silence and waiting for people, someone to talk or they feel moved to. But yeah, simple, simple activities where or processes where you can I suppose it centres you gives you something to go and focus around, um, that gives you that. That maybe that structure with that safety, but for for me, something in there is it feels like that's one of the conditions for a wise space rather than a stupid space.

Scott Plate 22:15

I think I need a bumper sticker, stupid spaces, no, no. Say no to stupid spaces.

Quiet Voices, Memory, And Meeting Design

Lyn Man 22:23

Yeah. But it is interesting because it's that going back to you know what you're you're saying, it's how we all as individuals come into the space. But as well as the the belonging, for me when you're talking about that, there needs to be a belonging within ourselves. So we have to be comfortable that we feel we belong in our own space, but also an openness, because being in a shared space doesn't mean agreeing with any anybody everybody. It actually is about being yourself and allowing whatever needs to come through to come through because actually that's the only way things move forwards. And you know, going back to to Mark, what you s were talking about the indigenous peoples and the way you know decisions were made after everybody had a say and everybody shared what felt true to them. And they could be very different viewpoints because everybody looks at things through different uh experiences and different values and so it's it's really interesting just looking at that that shared space that if we if we come to it with the openness, with the curiosity to see what evolves and tune into that shared spaces as Scott mentioned, tune into that actually what needs to emerge, rather than coming to it with preconceived ideas. Which would be um kind of one of the things I'm thinking of the the stupid spaces, Alex, it's that actually we're we're coming to it with that protection around us already because we've decided something's gonna happen or we've decided what the outcome is. And so it's how do we encourage others to create shared spaces that are inherent in their own wisdom rather than it actually what comes up is it it's even recognizing that there is wisdom in the space in between, in the unknown, in that space rather than actually feeling when we're coming together we're actually just a group of separate individuals going back to what I think it was Mark said about us coming from that place of independence rather than that from that place of relationship.

Simple Rules That Change Culture

Scott Plate 25:29

That's such an interesting point. And there's so much here. There's so so much. I wish we had a lots, lots of time. What strikes me is encouraging quieter voices, first of all. I used to run meetings for a theater department, and this it was a group of alpha individuals, male and female, who loved to hear themselves speak. And we weren't getting anything done. And it was the same people speaking. It was not an intelligent space, put it this way. And I understood they were also, they were grieving, and there was a wound that had happened. And what I learned from them that is that this space, collective space, has memory. It remembers something that wasn't resolved. And I thought, okay. And the new people who weren't part of the injury needed to be able to participate in the collective wisdom of the space, but because of the prevailing culture, weren't able to. So I instituted a process where no one could speak for longer than 90 seconds. And while they were speaking, they could not be interrupted, and they were not allowed to speak again until everyone who had a chance to contribute who wanted to were able to do so, was able to do so. And it changed the culture so that people who didn't speak as often began to feel more confidence because they felt the structure as it had been. It wasn't just me. This is we decided this together. They felt the structure supported them. And the listening voices emerged and began to change the culture of what had happened. And the compulsive interrupters were called out on their stuff. And, you know, the stewardship of the space became everybody's responsibility when everyone had a way in. They felt it was important to protect what was valuable to them. And what became valuable to them was not just their viewpoint, but the culture they sensed was being shared now. And it was an important development in the process of being together in the room. And I found, as the chair of this department, that I depended far more on the voices that I didn't hear as often because I got in, I got out of my automatic track in my own brain because this was a perspective I had not heard. And the person who didn't share it didn't think it was going to have value because they knew that it was different. So the tension that Alex was talking about earlier in shared spaces is real. And it's created and supported by a non-listening culture and by a habitual culture. And it was an interesting development. And leaders emerged where we didn't see them before. And people who were leaders, who had always been that way, were really encouraged to countenance this emerging energy. And what was a happy development was the this new kind of leadership quality emerging from some of the quieter voices was countenanced by the people who had had the talking stick most of the time. And the natural good in them, the teachers emerged to encourage that. And I thought this is really wonderful. Everyone gets to be themselves. And it brought out the better nature of the people who had forgotten what their better nature was because of how the culture of the group remembered itself. The stewardship is naming tension when it existed, really valuing honesty, you know, tracking shifts that happen energetically within the space as it goes on. And I would say specifically inviting quieter voices was an important thing. Not to make a big point of it, because we haven't heard from so-and-so. Could you please speak up if they didn't want to, they didn't have to? But the culture needs to include an on-ramp for people who don't necessarily feel like they belong. Just because something doesn't fit doesn't mean it doesn't belong.

Mark Henderson 29:51

What a wonderful example, Scott. And uh yeah, it's like the dream. Imagine if every department, every organization, every leadership team could adopt that simple, simple sort of yeah, method of coming together, of being together in dialogue and arriving at decisions, how how different those decisions would be. Yeah, the world would be a very different place. Um it's in a way for me it's that simple. It really is.

Presence, Intuition, And Self‑Safety

Alex Papworth 30:35

It's not it's not actually that difficult either, with the intent, with the desire. When you were describing it, Scott was was simple, just some simple rules that okay, require the voices, let's say how we can provide conditions where they where where they can speak and be heard. So again, it's it's not complex or complicated. The other thing I picked up was the diversity, which feels like you were picked that up, lack of when you have very a similar sort of the type you were talking about. And and I think everyone probably felt that, my suspicion as well. Sort of like a I don't know, like a when I'm just imposing my own my head perceptions, but like a sort of a lack of aliveness maybe in the space. So it's yeah, something that feels when we when you started talking about this, it felt a bit perilous and you know, there's tensions, but actually with some simple rules and and some agreements, it's really as I say, there has to be the desire. But um if there's the desire, then it it really seems quite achievable. That's good.

Nature, Solitude, And Shared Insight

Scott Plate 31:46

There were some people who had a hard time giving up that prevailing zeitgeist of but you're but you're right though, it's the shared desire is was deeper. And I think even those who were used to having their way recognized that we weren't getting anything done. And the frustration, so what happened with the previous, with previous leadership was that what didn't whatever didn't get accomplished collectively, he would just do on his own and then report. So people felt left out of that process and recognized, boy, we better behave a little better if we want our voice involved in the full quote unquote agenda. And so then time became a factor, like how much time do we collectively agree we're going to assign to this? And if we realize we don't have enough time, we agree together to give it more time at a different point at a different point. But it was, I felt part of my job there was mentoring younger voices. And because it I think a system understands how to sustain itself. And for I didn't have this language for it then, but I keep thinking, I don't want to be chair forever. Somebody needs to step up here. And if they don't learn that it's actually a practice that will be welcomed, then it's never going to change. And this sort of forced obsolescence will be part of our culture. But that's not the way natural systems work. We were talking a little bit earlier about how a tree, when a tree knows it's dying, it downloads all of its resources into the shared soil to be then spread by mycorrhizal networks. And this, the, the unseen intelligence of what's happening becomes part of the collective wisdom of the forest, as Mark shared earlier. The collective wisdom of a culture survives generation by generation by generation. And if we're not listening, we won't hear it. And it's possible to listen in a way that actually requires, or should maybe say encourages honesty from other people. If that becomes a part of the culture, how we attune shows that we're hungry for the truth. We're hungry for the truth of this space. And then the person who is sharing in the space becomes conscious that what they need, what they say is feeding hungry people, the people who need this nourishment, people who need this. And it changes what you say and how you say it and usually winds up becoming a little briefer. You know, this is what's essential. You're the you're the essential essential nutrients in what I'm trying to say, as opposed to I'm going to just hold forward to hear myself talk, you know.

Mark Henderson 34:42

Lyn and I have talked about this before on a previous podcast. And some people have a need to fill an empty space because just they just feel awkward if nobody's talking. And others feel a sense of responsibility that, okay, well, if nobody else is speaking, then I'll speak, even though they might not have anything that's important to say. But I love the fact that you know you you've you've highlighted how this can shift a culture and and the the space in between the group space takes over, the energy of that starts to take over. Exactly. And and everybody starts to feel into that and and respect and honor it. And and it sort of lifts everybody as well. And if you've been in this situation, you'll you'll know what I'm talking about. But you you feel a sort of yeah, it creates more more honesty, more authenticity, and it's wonderful when when everybody just goes with that and um it leads to to uh amazing places and and that sense of that sense of deeper connection that that we as individuals have, tapping into that uh shared space as well is is very rewarding. We need each other. Yeah. Yeah.

Trusting The Unknown And Reducing Polarisation

Idealism, Will, And Culture Change

Lyn Man 36:08

Yeah, and that you know, going back to that actually when we're we're in that space together, actually more we can be more creative, more comes out because of just the way we we can work and evolve rather than just actually sitting down by ourselves and trying to to find an answer to something. But I just want to go back, you know, just to the ecosystems and even just looking at your example, Scott, because what you're describing is a structure, you know, however loose a structure it it may or may not be, but but if we look at an eco any ecosystem, there is always a container, there's always that that structure there to to ground and to hold. And within that, you know, going back to the belonging and the safety, you know, we need to allow things to flow, to let the emotions flow. There's always the the flow of water coming through. And and that's the same with us. And within that, you know, we we've talked of about this many times, but it is that actually using what you're feeling and sensing as information within you. And at the same time, it it is that, you know, the ideas and it's that it's in it's interesting, it's that balance between deep listening, so listening fully to someone else, so not letting yourself go into the okay, what am I gonna say next? But just trusting and allowing yourself to intuit what what needs to come out. But when you listen fully, you start to see more of the connections rather than and how things really link together rather than trying to form your own ideas while you're half listening to someone. And then of course there's always the spark, you know, a space comes together, there is a spark, a catalyst that that comes that starts something off in that space. So so really, you know, if we take it back to a natural ecosystem, all the elements of a natural ecosystem, and even even going, you know, with the trees, the interconnection, the mycorrhizal network, it all works within our human spaces as well. So if we take it back to actually how can we work more naturally with that awareness of ourselves, then you know what what can we actually allow ourselves or allow to emerge from the space? It can be so so so much more. Um so yeah, just you know, Scott's shared some great examples here. Mark and Alex, have you got any examples of where you can where you have the wisdom of that shared spaces that has created much more than an individual could have?

Mark Henderson 39:28

Yeah, we uh had a a meeting, I was at uh facilitating a meeting on Friday, and we had a theme, and we sort of there were people there, maybe a couple of people knew each other, but otherwise it was a fairly uh a group that didn't know each other and come together for the first time. And it was just amazing to see what energy built in that conversation. We we hadn't a voiced culture, but there was a sort of an understanding, and we we could all meet each other there uh without vocalizing it. So so I experienced you know what we're talking about here, that sort of the the the shared wisdom of the shared energy took over the conversation. And then I think of also our Spirit of Man Man's group, where we we always start our walks with talking about respecting the other's view, even though you don't agree with it, and bringing a curiosity and openness to to all the all your interactions on the walk. And it's the same same thing there, that same sense that one can grow, one can be vulnerable more quickly, have a deeper, deeper connection, uh, and feel all the all the rewards of that by the end of uh four hours. So so there's a couple of examples I can think of.

Lyn Man 41:04

Thank you.

Final Reflections And Closing Invitation

Alex Papworth 41:07

I have um one that comes to mind and is probably well, what's interesting is about what is a shared space actually. And I was thinking about something essentially like a well, in my case like a project that extends over a period of time. So I would I I had assumed when we started this we were talking about, you know, like we are at the moment, a group of people together virtually or or or face to face. But actually that can be over a period of time where you come together and it's almost like a a dance, I suppose you come together, you separate, you you go your separate ways and come back together again. In my you know, recent work in this more project environment where that's over a period of time. What I'm connecting to in what's been said was Lyn, you were talking about being safe in yourself as being a sort of prerequisite, and and that's what I I personally am in this particular situation, and I do a lot I do a lot of listening. So I I do actually participate a lot, uh a fair deal by just being really paying attention. And um this is sound like blowing my own trumpet. But the result of that is uh it's the wisdom and some some connections that I've seen that are are well I believe you know, they're useful and they're gonna be helpful to the the collective endeavor. And and I think, yeah, I guess that in that in that way that relationship is is about just simply trying to be present and trying to pay attention and see what's being said or what the patterns are we talked about, the um maybe the energy changes, but also just being yeah, alive to connections. Yeah. It feels a bit abstract, but it's um that's certainly what I found recently as is an example. Yeah, let's say so necessarily that obvious coming together as a group, apart from all our other conversations. I mean I think just to just to bring an example recently talking about compost with you, Lyn and um Marie's a creative session, just that it does feel a bit like that conversation feels like you're sort of almost like running together and then separating and then running together and and things are things are being created. There's a I don't know, there's a quality of I don't know, mix in the mixing the ingredients or something that's quite difficult to to to to describe. But that um yeah, that experience of throwing ideas into the pot and then seeing what emerges, again for me was was really valuable. And there's something in here as well about the sort of physicality of it as well, which for me is quite useful. So it's not necessarily You know, as we are at the moment in a sort of social sort of mind-to-mind mode, if you like, there's yeah, and actually community comes in outside. So the other thing that I was thinking about, which I know we all experience, is is actually being in community in nature. So you may be in solitude. But that's really where I'm I imagine most of you as well, many many ideas, many insights emerge. So it isn't necessarily well, it's the wisdom of shared spaces in in the in the most broad sense, not necessarily with other human beings. Or not just human beings. So just being among you know in the woods or whatever it may be, that changes that energy is completely different and allows things to emerge never would sitting at uh sitting at your desk.

Lyn Man 44:52

Yeah.

Alex Papworth 44:52

Right.

Mark Henderson 44:53

Yeah, I love that you brought that in, Alex. Very important. I also love that you mentioned presence, because I was thinking of that when you were talking then that part of the the quality of being able to contribute fully your own wisdom in a shared space, is that ability to be fully present and tap into your intuition. And as soon as we start preparing, stop listening and start preparing our what we're going to see, we're up in our head. It's not necessarily flowing from uh from from our our own wisdom. Um so uh yeah, I think presence is a a quality. And I'm thinking of your example, Scott, where you know, once people experience what's happening, it's it's just uh you know, it's something that grows and everybody feels more comfortable with it, gets better at it, feels empowered by it, uplifted by it. So yeah, that's amazing.

Scott Plate 45:58

It's so important, I think, Lyn, what you introduced earlier in light of what we're talking about now is how do we experience safety within ourselves? If we look at ourselves as an ecosystem, an a modicum of presence is really necessary for us to even feel that we might be in conflict with ourselves about something. We have conflicting strategies about what it means to belong. Different parts of us have conflicting strategies about what it means to feel safe. And bringing that understanding to the wisdom of a collective space is the first step in listening. Because for me, if I'm my first movement, or try I try now because I was one of the people Mark spoke, spoke earlier, the people who feel like they have to speak because there's it's quiet and there's a I give you every argument in the world, someone has to talk, and just whatever it was, talk, right? So, but it's shifted over time to what is going on in me before I speak, so that I know that I'm accessing something that has value to me as well, and then choosing to share that. It's different than my way or the highway. It's what's actually happening to get back to what Alex is saying, sensing the discomfort or the tension that might be present or my habit in a group situation and bringing that to the space. I'm I, you know, like for example, I'm doing a radio chanel with my husband, and he's by nature is a listener and he's being asked to speak, and it's just not his thing. And he we're listening to the recordings back, and he's I just I can hear the tension before I speak. I said, Yeah, well, because your primary contribution to a space is how you listen. And, you know, I get now why it's this is a growth edge for you, but bringing his discomfort into the space is an important part of what's growing there, you know, and I admire him for stepping out of his comfort zone in this way. But without that ability to access what I may be bringing into this, the listening, there's that old expression, there are people who listen and people who wait to speak. And the the waiting to speak variety is what results from not attuning internally to what might be of value and therefore a value to the space. You know, I want people to feel well as a result of what I give. And I don't always do that when I'm not listening.

Lyn Man 48:34

Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? How um just just listening to all this wisdom in in this space. And, you know, I think what I find interesting is when we have these these conversations, you know, we might have a five-minute conversation beforehand. We might just start with a question. And certainly when I have when I'm interviewing somebody just on a one-to-one basis, I just start with that, that question. And one question, no real discussion up front. We just let the conversation go, trusting it goes where it needs to go. And it comes back to that that word trust. So trust in ourselves, trust in whoever else is in the space and the the space itself, but also just being comfortable with not knowing. I know we had a conversation recently on the podcast about that being comfortable with with the unknown, and there is so much unknown at the moment in the world, and yet we get to the space where people aren't always comfortable in sharing what they feel or their opinion because we have the polarization and the immediate judgment, which is takes us away so much from what we've discussed here. So, in this wisdom of this space we are in, there is that openness, that curiosity that let's create this together. Yet going back to, and I can't remember, I think it was you, maybe Alex, that said, you know, after you talked one time, actually, you know, it's it's simple, let's just create the world like this. And it if we could, you know, we could progress things so much more rapidly and account for everybody. And and from that I don't mean, you know, it's impossible to make sure everybody is always happy, but it creates that understanding rather than right now, you know, if I look at say social media platforms and things, actually how much listening and true expression is there really? And so yeah, if we can just create a different way of creating a space where everybody can step into that feeling of belonging in themselves, step into that feeling of being listened to, of being able to contribute and knowing that the contribution is valued, even if it's not agreed with or it's something totally in opposition to what other people are saying. But others are listening to it from that place of of openness, curiosity and consideration. You know, if we can do something like that, then it really changes how we can operate in this world. And it's not the thing that will happen overnight, but you know, it's that ripple effect, isn't it? If we're bringing it into what we're doing, other people will bring it into what they're doing. And I know people do, but it's you know, yeah. It's I know I'm being very idealistic here. And hopefully.

Alex Papworth 52:29

As a positive note, as it is possible as well. This isn't as you said, Sam, as we were discussing it, it's um these things are possible and not uh intellectually challenged, they require will. So if that will many things are possible.

Scott Plate 52:48

Yeah, exactly. Well, because I think the connection is the dividend. And, you know, as we were saying earlier, when the culture begins to shift and everyone senses that it's because of something they shared, then it's a different impetus, there's a different motivation. There will always be diehards who assume for whom the voice inside their head is louder than what's in the space. And I have compassion for those people because I'm one of them often, you know, and I but you know, I've also been shown the wisdom of a different way. It takes a long time to unlearn what you inherit as truth. And this the space is much bigger than my ability to declare whatever that is, much more intelligent.

Lyn Man 53:37

Thank you. So just as we finish off, just very brief sentence. What would you all like to share just to finalize the conversation?

Mark Henderson 53:52

I'm also an idealist, uh Lyn, and uh just hope that people feel inspired to to try in whatever small way to be more present in their conversations and in their meetings. This is not difficult. It's it's simple, but it takes an intention and a shared understanding to start with. And and then it it can take on its own life and and change culture and change decision making, change how you feel at the end of end of meeting others dramatically.

Lyn Man 54:32

Thank you.

Alex Papworth 54:34

I think the uh the one that I would like to share is the um a practice. I guess I'm probably thinking about more in work scenarios. It doesn't have to be in that exclusively, but just getting into the practice of asking people how they're feeling. Often just like at a bookend the meeting starts in the end, and I've only I've only just remembered it again this morning, having not done it for ages. But but it's it's the practice of doing that and not in the uh super English way as well. It's the uh Yeah.

Lyn Man 55:05

No, I'm I'm fine. Yeah.

Alex Papworth 55:08

It's the genuinely interesting, you know, so it does need to be explained a bit. It's like I actually want to know how you're feeling, really. And I'm not gonna go and fix it either. So there's a bit of you know, coaching around there in terms of not fixing, but just hearing. That's all it is, just really sharing and really hearing. Both ways, everyone has to participate.

Lyn Man 55:30

Thank you.

Scott Plate 55:31

What I'm taking away is we're all breathing the same air.

Lyn Man 55:37

Beautiful. Thank you everybody for helping curate the wisdom in this shared space today. And I look forward to our next conversation. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this episode of I Am Enough. We hope you enjoyed it and are inspired to see yourself as enough and create possibilities. If you would like to discover more, please visit earthaconter.org.