Healing with Humor: Finding Purpose After 14 Lost Years | Dave Mowry

What happens when the life you built falls apart, and the thing that helps you rebuild is a stand-up comedy class?

Dave Mowry spent 14 years living with bipolar disorder, severe anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. He lost his business and home, and at times even answering the door felt impossible. In this conversation with Travis White, Dave shares what those years were like and how an unexpected invitation to try stand-up comedy helped him find connection, confidence, and a new purpose.

Dave now helps other people living with mental illness tell their stories through humor. He and Travis talk about the people who stayed in his corner, what it means to accept a diagnosis without giving up, and why laughter can make room for healing without erasing pain.

In this conversation, you'll hear:

• How Dave's mental health changed his work, family life, and sense of identity
• What homelessness and years of isolation taught him about support
• Why a stand-up comedy class became a turning point
• How storytelling and humor can challenge stigma
• What Dave means by acceptance without resignation

If you are starting over after a difficult season, Dave's story is a reminder that purpose can emerge in unexpected ways.

Learn more about Dave Mowry:

• Dave's website
• Healing with Humor

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0:03

What if one of the darkest periods of your life eventually became the thing that gave you purpose? Dave Mowry was a successful businessman with a family, a home, and what looked like a secure life. Then his mental health collapsed. For the next 14 years, Dave battled bipolar disorder, severe anxiety, depression, panic attacks, financial loss, and even homelessness. There were days when getting out of bed felt impossible. Times when simply answering the door or talking to another person could trigger a panic attack. But Dave kept trying, and eventually something unexpected helped change the way he looked at everything he had been through. Stand-up comedy. Dave learned how to find humor inside some of his darkest experiences, and today he teaches other people living with mental illness how to tell their stories one joke at a time. In this episode, we talk about losing everything, suffering in silence, and the importance of having someone in your corner, finding purpose after your old life disappears, and what Dave calls acceptance without resignation. This is Dave Mowry's story. But before we jump in, I also want to tell you about something I've been working on called Rebuild with Faith. It's a guided journaling app built around the faith framework, foundation, attitude, integrity, trust, and humility. The idea is simple. When life feels heavy, uncertain, or like you're starting over, rebuild with faith gives you daily questions and space to slow down, reflect, and focus on what you can control. It's not about having all the answers. It's about taking one stuff, small step forward at a time. You'll be hearing more about Rebuild with Faith soon. But for now, you can visit RebuildwithFaithapp dot com to learn as much as you can. But the app is still in progress. Now let's get into my conversation with Dave Mowry. Dave, why don't you go ahead and start us off with your story? thanks, Travis. gosh, I'd go back to well, I was a successful businessman. my wife and I, we seemed to, you know, we seemed to have it all secure income and nice house, great family. And then in nineteen ninety six I was driving down the freeway. I was extremely distressed. I was going in between our businesses and the stress, the anxiety, it was just overwhelming and it just got to me and my mind snapped. I I could literally feel it. It was like an electric shock in my brain. I I could hear it. It was like a little twig breaking. It's know, a little snap and my my mind just snapped and my my the muscles in my face went slack and my voice went monotone and my vision got blurry and my mind got dull and it was everything I could do. just to get home. I went straight upstairs. Yes. I laid down on the bed and just tried to hang on, just tried to hold on. And that was the beginning of my fourteen lost years. I call them my lost years, my dark days where for fourteen years I couldn't work. I couldn't interact socially. I was just broken. I was just broken. And that was due to my undiagnosed bipolar disorder and my severe anxiety. And when during those dark years, what did what I would call, you know, normal for the darkness, what did one of those normal days look like for you? Boy. the days were different early on with the I just was in a deep, deep, dark depression. And you know, early on it was everything I could do to get out of bed and to go downstairs and just to sit on the couch. and when I did, it was everything I could do just to hold it together and just to be. I just try to breathe and I just try to be and just try to calm my mind and just I I'd pray just I'd pray for peace of mind. Yeah. and that was what was going on for the first months and months of my my my last years, my dark days. And I couldn't like I said, I couldn't interact socially, so I I was afraid to talk to people. I avoided people, I avoided situations. Yeah. I couldn't go to the mailbox during the daytime because I was afraid I'd run into a neighbor and they'd ask me how I was doing. And they'd look in my eyes and they'd see that I was not well. and so I I went to the mailbox at night when I knew I be able to Yes. see anybody. And I pretended to be okay. It was it was everything I could do, just you know, I just pretended to be okay and it was pretending to be okay it was just exhausting. Yeah, it gets really exhausting. I could actually relate to your story a little bit. I had some t about ten to twelve years of pretty much suffering in silence and some dark, dark years. I back in two thousand nine I started having a a seizure disorder. And you know, where for a couple of months where had tons of seizures and then the anxiety and depression came in. There was years that I couldn't hold down a job. I was embarrassed of like my situation. I didn't want anybody to know and I didn't know like what was going on with my mental health. I didn't want to admit that I had a problem. So I could r I relate to some of that stuff. So it's it's really actually quite scary. Yeah, and you know, there's the shame involved, Yeah, the shame involved and not wanting other people to know. Like you said, suffering and silence. I that's why I describe it too, suffering and silence, hiding in the shadows. Yeah, Yeah and what? it was it was awful. The the depth of the darkness, the depression. you know, it's almost it's almost indescribable for For someone who hasn't been there it's really it's really indescribable the depth and the hollowness and and the darkness and the toll it takes on your mind and your body. yes, yes it is. And to this day I I I've been asked the question how would you describe it in one word? I said I can't. Until you've been there and physically lived it and know what that darkness does to your mind and how it overpowers every single thing that you deal with on a daily basis. You can't describe it. Yeah, that's exactly right. It's it's you can't describe it. Just the depth the depth of the darkness is is it's all consuming. Yes, it is for sure. So before this you said you were a successful businessman. Like do you feel like when you were working and had a steady job? Were you just one of the I wanna say the the quiet ones or at this point did you not realize that something was going on in your mind? Like what what did that look like? You know, I had indicators and I had my throughout all my adult life I'd had my ups and downs. y you know, so I'd had I'd slid into the times of depression, and I'd had my highs from the mania, but they weren't too high and they weren't too low, but as I got older they got higher, me the the highs got higher and the lows got lower. And so I I had this going on and I'd always had the anxiety. The anxiety was was constant with me and mostly associated with the depression. And and so I had had the anxiety. And so the anxiety had been building. So I'd had indications that that things weren't right, that things weren't well. But there was no way to predict what and when and how it happened to me. Yeah, yeah. I always have believed that mental health is just a totally unpredictable thing. It's there's no way to know what's gonna happen tomorrow. And sometimes with what you described, you're lucky just to get out of bed. Yeah, exactly. And and you know, I was I w I I was lucky and and you know, I'd I'd sleep in my clothes. It was too much to take my clothes off and put back on in the morning. So I'd sleep in my clothes. I I didn't shower for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks, which is really common. most people don't realize, but it's really common when somebody's in a a a true depression. You know, a Yeah. true depression that showering is is almost in impossible. It's un It's overwhelming to just be able to take a shower. So I I went weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. It's almost embarrassing now to talk about it, you know, months without showering. And it was just too much. It was too much to take my clothes off, Yeah, yeah. to turn on the water, to get in the shower. and it was it was just everything was just too much. I don't think it's good. Just too much. Do you feel at times that you're I'm trying to think of how to word this? At times well I'll say how I envision it in my mind and you can tell me if y you understand what I'm trying to say. So there's times I where I feel like my anxiety is just tops my depression. yeah. Would you say one tops like the other one? yeah. The anxiety I Yeah. mean, boy, you know, depression you can't do anything. I couldn't do anything. I was, Mm-hmm. you know, just existing. But the anxiety was active and it was Gosh, it was constant and Who I'd have panic attacks. I'd l like I talked about not being able to see people, you know, or interact with people. If I had to interact with somebody and had to open myself up or be visible to I'd have a panic attack. I'd I'd start to sweat and the sweat would pour down my face and I'd soak my collar, my shirt collar, my armpits and my back. and and so there was total avoidance of of anything. You know, if there was a knock on the door, I'd have a panic attack and I'd go into the bathroom and I'd hide in the bathroom, even though, you know, it wasn't anybody for me. if the phone rang, same thing would happen. I'd I'd the anxiety would would just spike. and I'd have to, you know, sit and breathe and take deep breaths and just just breathe. Just breathe. trying to get through it, trying to get through it. but the anxiety, you know, the bipolar disorder, the mania was was awful, but it was temporary. You know, I mean w mine would last Yeah. a long time, months and months and months, unlike some other people where it was shorter experiences, but mine would last months and months and months. And the depression would also last months and months and months. but it would eventually go away. But the anxiety was constant. It was always there. And it was it was just it was always there. And I apologize if you hear screaming kids in the background. Yep, yep. Those are yours? Okay, that's good. That's good. I was thinking maybe they're my grandkids who are downstairs. No, nope, but I have young kids out here outside the door, Yeah, that's fine. I'm good with it. so I'm good with it. I'm good with it. We've got three grandkids living with us, my daughter and three grandkids, so I'm used to the yeah. Till you're used to the yeah. Yeah. As long as it's on your end and I don't have to worry about it on my end, I'm good. Nope, it's it's totally on my end. Okay, cool. Cool. So speaking of family, during these dark times, what did your relationship with your family look like? Wow, We you know, we we had the businesses and we were successful and we ended up losing it all. we we sold the businesses fire sale and we were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. we ended up homeless for eighteen months. But my wife, who is the hero of my story, she she held us together as a family. And she worked with the creditors and Yeah. yeah, sh you know, she was amazing. I I was married once before and when I was really young and my wife left me and the she's the reason she left me is because she said I wasn't fun anymore. And what had happened was I had slid into a depression and been in depressed for quite some time and so, you know, I wasn't fun anymore. But for her that was too much. And but my wife Heather, she's she stayed with me. She held us together. And you know, it was challenging with the kids because I'd been an active dad and played with the kids and just really involved. And when I was down and out, I couldn't play with them. it was really difficult. They'd come up into the bedroom and you know the our play was them jumping over me in bed, you know, when I was laying in bed and jumping over me and jumping on the bed around me. so that was really difficult. When we were homeless, we ended up living in the basement of some friend's house Okay. and the kids slept in an alcove on air mattresses in an alcove under the stairs. y y you know the sense of letting the family down being a failure of disappointment of you know was Yeah. was pretty was pretty awful. But you know the the the kids came through it. They were young. They were eight and ten and so they came through it but it was hard on them as well. Yeah, and I I love that you brought in your wife and I I feel like behind a lot of stories that discussions that I have, it's what's the scene? Something like what is it? Behind every strong man there's a stronger woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, she sh she never thought about leaving me, which I'm so fortunate. If she would have I would have probably still to this day been living in a single room occupancy hotel down in Old Town Portland and I wouldn't be well. I know I wouldn't be well. There was there was a day one of the things I did during the the fourteen years is I had to do something. I kept trying. as I got a little bit better and a little bit better, I and I could get out of the house. I I kept trying. And and one of the things I did was I took classes down at Portland State University trying to working working when I I when I was going to college, I would go to college, things were great. And I'd go along, but then I when I slid into a depression I wouldn't be able to go. So I'd I'd go and I wouldn't and I'd go and I wouldn't. And so it took years, and years and years. And then so but I kept trying and I signed up for classes and started taking classes at Portland State working toward my degree and Yeah. one of the classes. It it was I did it and it was okay because I could be invisible. You know, you have these big classes and I could be invisible and you know, I could hide in the shadows, I could, you know, stand up against the wall, try to blend into the wall and not interact with anybody, not not not, you know, look at anybody. but there was this one class where it was smaller and I'd sit in the back right Corner of the class because there was nobody beside me on my right, and there was nobody behind me. the person in front of me, it was just the back of their head, they couldn't see me, and then the person beside me on the left was the only vulnerable spot, and I never looked to my left. But this class, the professor would have us break out into small groups from time to time, and the first time he he did it. Yeah. and I had to interact with people. I had a panic attack, overwhelming. Well I mean just terrible panic attack, sweating and my voice went monotone again and my vision blurred and I just had to escape and so I I left the room and I went into the to the bathroom and went sat in a stall and just tried to breathe and just just try just tried to breathe. and prayed for peace of mind until the class was over and then I snuck back in and got my back back and one of the one of the times this happened to me, I was sitting out in front, Heather was picking me up from Yeah. from school and I was sitting in front of the building, sitting on the sidewalk with my back up against the wall of the building and she was late. And I knew if she didn't come that I wasn't getting up. You know, I was I was just done. I just was done. I wasn't getting I couldn't get up. I couldn't move. I couldn't make a phone call. I couldn't do anything. I just was done. and you know, she got there and she helped me get in the car and then we were driving home and we drove through Old Town and I saw the people, you know, that were homeless sitting on the sidewalk. And I saw the blank look in their face and you know, realized that was me, if not for Heather, if that was me. Yeah, it's it's my my story to some degree is similar. I I have a strong one behind me. I was and I I honestly to this day don't believe that if I was with somebody else, I don't think she would have stayed. But she we were Yeah. engaged for ten year ten years. And she stood by me the whole time. there was a time where I had to before we were married that I had to live with her and her mom because I I couldn't make it on my own'cause I was so far gone. but now we we got married in two thousand nineteen. We have four kids and things are I mean good. Not to say that it'll still have my hard days because I don't think this stuff really ever totally goes away. Yeah. Yeah. No, it doesn't. Yeah. I think it's just getting the techniques to learn how to deal with it. Yeah. Yeah. No, you've been busy between twenty thousand nineteen and twenty six with four kids. You've you made up for lots of time. Yes. Yes, I did. yeah, You made up for those ten years, you know. Yeah. well well we're older and we we I just hit forty, so we wanted to hit our we w always wanted Yeah. four kids, and we wanted to hit that last kid by the time we were forty, so we did it Yeah. Yeah, that's great. I think I think it's super. And yeah, kids I know, my kids, my grandkids, it's it's great. I mean, it's great. Kids are great. Yeah, I'm I I w my favorite job was being a dad. Yeah. It's it's it's challenging but fun. That's right. That's right. That's right. Lots of fun. So with everything you went through, was there a a bri breaking point of where you thought to yourself, What do I need to do to get through this? What what was that point where you started pushing through and saw some light at the end of the tunnel? Yeah, it was there was no breakthrough point necessarily, but I you know, I slowly, gradually got better. I it was slow. obviously with fourteen years, you know, it it was very slow. and but I I like I said, I kept trying. So I think that was the thing. E little things when I when I was able to get up and go downstairs, I'd sit in a different spot on the couch or sit in a different chair just just you know, just to to do something to try to make a difference. And I'd do just whatever small thing. And so I I just kept trying and but it was two thousand nine, I guess, two thousand ten. I I kept trying to work and when I was thinking maybe I could do it, I'd go interview and I'd I I I'd get a job offer and I'd last a couple of weeks. The anxiety was overwhelming and the depression I was still depressed and I just couldn't do it. I tried and tried and I couldn't do it. But I I kept trying. And then in Two thousand ten I got a minimum wage, twelve hour a week job at Macy's in downtown Portland and worked and was able to go I rode the bus down. and I was able to work and I worked and I made it for a year and that was huge. You know, it was like I said, I was You know, it's low stress, it was minimum wage, Yeah, it was twelve hours, it wasn't so it Yeah. was hard but it wasn't overwhelming. And I was when I made it I made it to a year and that was just a huge success. Well and I feel that in these situations you have to take those small steps in order to push forward to something bigger. I was in the same boat. I couldn't hold down jobs for more than two or three weeks. Yeah. And then finally I got this retail job and I told myself I can do this. It's only going to be about twenty hours a week, but I can do this. And I actually went in there and I excelled. And then I after a while I was like, well, I can do more. I can do more. And that's when I got more into the tech industry what I'm in right now. But it it Mm-hmm. just started out with 20 hours a week. Yeah, and that's I think I had to you know, accepting my my state of mind, my w my place, what had happened, acceptance was a challenge for me. mostly when I could be aware of things that were going on and mostly I was pissed off. You know, because we did have it all, things were great. And then, you know, we lost everything. We are hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. We're homeless. We're all these things. And and but it took a long time for me to accept the fact that like I said, I'd you know, I rode the bus downtown to Macy's to work and I'd see other people on the bus and before we had two luxury cars and You know. and here I was, we had one old car. My wife was driving it because she was working and I was taking the bus and I'd see other people in the bus and I'd think or initially I'd think, you know, that's not me, that's not me and then at a certain point it was, yeah, that is me. And just like seeing the people on the street, you know, the homeless people or the people that were mentally ill that were You know what we're saying? on the street and realizing that, you know, that was me. And so getting to that point of accepting the fact that I had a serious mental illness, that I was that I was broken, that I couldn't work and all these things. but I think, you know, I did keep trying and I I and I what I call it now is acceptance without resignation. I didn't resign myself to the fact that that's always how it's gonna be. Yeah, I I really like that. Yeah. So I I I accepted it. I didn't resign myself to it. So that allowed me to keep trying. I didn't give up and say this is how it's always gonna be, so why try? I I kept trying. And when did your actual bipolar diagnosis come into play? Hm. I you know, I I I went into the psychiatric unit when when I had my breakdown and the the depression was obvious. When you've got depression, people can see it you're really slow, you talk slow, you're down, you're monotone, you're all these different things, and so it's visible. But with the mania you just feel good and it's not visible because you don't go in and you're not I I'm at least for me, I didn't go in, I wasn't bouncing up all. And so it took years and years and years to get diagnosed correctly with the bipolar disorder. Yeah. so I w I don't know exactly when that happened, but it was It was years. It was probably eight years after I had my breakdown before I was and maybe nine years b ten years before I was actually diagnosed with bipolar disorder and started to get treated for it and get on the right medications and, you know, finally over time found the right combination of medications that that worked so that and and still today, you know, I I I still have my ups and downs, but when I when I start going up into the mania, it I don't go as high and it doesn't last as long. And the same thing with the depression. I don't go as low and and I know it's gonna end. So it gives me some peace of mind knowing, okay, this is temporary because before when I was going through it it wasn't temporary. I mean it was, you know, It was it was it was there and it was there for a long time. And I think the other thing too that I'd like to say is you know, when we're going through these things, I know for me, I'd look around and I'd see other people that were interacting and social and working and all this kind of stuff. And I I felt like I mean, I was hiding it, I was pretending to be okay, I was hiding. but You know, I I think I felt like I was all alone. I didn't I I didn't know anybody else that was going through any of these things. And so I I I felt like I was all alone. and I felt like I was, you know, obviously something was wrong with me and because I'd see other people Yeah. and they were okay and I I wouldn't I'd I I couldn't figure out how c Yeah. how they could be so okay and I could be so broken. Yeah, and that's tough. I believe that there's so many people out there that are hiding things like this that we just have no idea about. But I didn't figure that out until I started talking to people. Yeah. and I can I can f I c I call us fellow travelers, other people with mental health challenges, you know, we're fellow travelers and we can see it in each other's eyes. So when when we connect with somebody else that's going through similar things or has gone through similar things and we can talk and we can open up. but otherwise, you know I spend all my time pretending to be okay and and hiding. so you know, there's so many other people that are going through these things. And I work in the mental health field now. I I do peer support and I run a small mental health nonprofit working with people and there's so many people that are going through mental health challenges. And there's so many similar stories about people you know, feeling like they're all alone, you know, suffering in silence. Yeah, so that that's for sure. I have come to the conclusion that everybody has a story. Whether they're telling it or not is something different, but everybody has a story. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And it's you know, who do you tell? I you know, I couldn't tell anybody. I was afraid to tell anybody. I I was so broken, I I was so embarrassed, I was so ashamed, I'd you know, I couldn't tell my story until finally one day I did. and that one day kind of was maybe, you know, it was a huge turning point for me because I didn't have to hide anymore. I didn't have to I I but I was okay enough to be able to interact. I was okay enough to to work. you know, so I could tell my story. but it took a long time to get there. Yeah, and was there something specific that made you want to tell your story? Hm. It was interesting. I got contacted by the Oregonian newspaper, the you know, large daily newspaper here, and they were doing a story, the fellow wanted to do a story on mental illness, and somehow my name came up and so he contacted me and wanted to interview me and I I had to think a lot about that because that meant I'd be coming out and be telling the world that you know about my challenges and my life. And so I I talked to my wife and asked her if it was okay. And I talked to my kids and got there okay and finally decided that yeah, I'd I'd you know, I'd do I'd I'd I'd do the story. And so Okay. when I did that, I was completely open Yeah. and honest. Truly open. The only way to do it was to be truly open and honest about Yeah. everything and tell my story of the good, the bad and the ugly. And so I did that and I thought I didn't I don't know what I thought. I thought it was gonna be in the newspaper somewhere, you know, a page or two or whatever. And it came out on the fourth of July. No, after that. it was July tenth. And I was on the front page and picture of me on the front page and it was three pages front page plus three more pages on the inside. So there was no hiding it. I was yeah, I was out. Yeah the And I it was interesting. I got contacted by so many people saying, you know, so positive and you know, thanking me for for talking about it and saying that I was telling their story too and that they they found hope and strength from me telling my story. That's that's really cool. And those those words from other people always mean a lot. Yeah. Yeah, it's and just of a a word here or a word there, a few words, they do mean a lot. You know, it it made it so I didn't I could it was okay that I that I told my story. It was okay that I shared that. but I there were people that disappeared from my life after they found out, you know, after the they found out I have bipolar disorder. there was a person down at Portland State University that I'd gotten to know a a a teacher, a professor, and we'd interacted. But when they found out I had bipolar disorder, they'd see me coming and they'd just I didn't exist. They'd walk by and they wouldn't look, they wouldn't smile. I knew they saw me and whatever. Sometimes sometimes they'd cross the street. So they didn't have to walk by me on the sidewalk. so I g there was that kind of blowback, that that you know, stigma discrimination, whatever. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and there's there's so many misconceptions about bipolar or whatever mental health challenge somebody's gone through. This I I've seen a couple and it's it just blows my mind that the the stigmas exist. Yeah, it's really strong. And you know, people they see on the news, you know, somebody you know, commits a crime or whatever and the neighbor says they think that, you know, they were bipolar or whatever and so and it's you know, I I think only two percent of the population, a little over two percent of the population has bipolar disorder. and it's just really misunderstood and you know, we're not dangerous. you know, yeah, some people with bipolar disorder commit crimes, but a lot of people without bipolar disorder commit crimes. Bipolar disorder doesn't make you criminal. You know, you can be a criminal with bipolar disorder. But it's it's not the cause, you know. It's not the cause. Yeah, exactly. So what what tools and techniques do you have today that help you get through the hard times? Yeah, I I take my medication religiously. new medications for mental illness are boy a huge blessing. And they keep me consistent and steady. If I there was a time when Heather and I were on vacation and I left one of my psych meds in the hotel and I was without it and I thought you know, I I was gonna see the doctor in three weeks and I thought I c you know, I'll just get through it and get a r get another prescription when I go see the doctor. And it wasn't more than four days later and I was crashing. and it was awful. It was truly awful. But psychmeds today are truly you know, they're great. the new meds, they work well. And so I I take Okay. my meds religiously. I it's really important that I get enough sleep. sleep is so important. Okay. If I don't get enough sleep, the the anxiety builds and the stress builds and I don't know what it is. It's irritability, but the bipolar and s lack of sleep really, really is hurts. and that's common with folks living with mental health challenges. sleep is really important. And you know, I take the dog for a walk, I try to stay active. and it's interesting, I I keep trying, I keep I don't one of the things, you know, keep by we talked about keep keep trying and you know, one of my things is don't get stuck. You know, I I d I didn't You know, I wasn't gonna let myself get stuck in the severe depression and not being able to get out of bed and and still today I I don't get stuck. I I sit in different places, I do little things It's not that that are different so that I don't get stuck Yeah. and I don't get into a rut. And so those things are really important as well. And I'm I you know, I work, and I teach stand up comedy to folks with I'm gonna try to rip off my shell. a mental illness. I do you know, I had my fourteen last years and I'm I'm I'm not about to I'm not about He's trying to line it up. to retire and to quit working, you know. I've I've got I've got lots to do and it you know, pisses me off if if if if I was to die soon it would really piss me off. That's Yeah. aside from everything else it would just piss me off. Yeah. Yeah. You you found something you're passionate about, so you want to stay there. Yeah. It's Yeah, yeah. things are good, you know, and I I can do a podcast and hopefully reach somebody Yeah. somebody with a mental health challenge and let know they're not alone. that you do come out the other side, you know, and so make a difference in somebody's life. you know, that's good stuff. That's good stuff. You mentioned something there that I want to touch base on the teaching stand-up comedy to people that have mental illness. How did you get into that? I the local NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Ill Illness, the local affiliate here Yeah. brought in a in the county behavioral health brought in a a comic. He teaches stand-up comedy to folks with mental illness. And I took the class and it turns out I had a knack for writing jokes, finding humor in the darkness, and helping people. And I wrote a bunch of jokes for myself and I wrote other people's jokes. And then after the class was over, we performed, we had a performance and it went well. And after the class was over, the people in the class wanted to keep going, so I facilitated the class. And then that le led to teaching another class and another class. And I ended up teaching standup comedy to folks with mental illness. And performing in clubs and conferences and different things. So I I like to say I tell my No. story one joke at a time. The people that I teach in the classes, they tell their story one joke at a time. And it helps shatter the stigma. It's fun. It it's it's you know, w Okay. finding humor in our experiences and our darkness and our hard times, it changes everything. It it it reframes our brain. I'd hear a song and it would trigger my remind me of a trauma and I'd go back and I'd relive the trauma. I have a PTSD attack and when I started doing the comedy, instead of reliving Yeah. that experience, I'd I'd have that that trigger and I'd think, Okay, where can I find the humor in that? And it changed everything. Changed everything. Yeah. Yeah, it's I I try to use humor too to to get through stuff. And sometimes my wife tells me I joke around too much. Yeah, yeah. there's this this song that it's an old rap song, not way old, but it's I guess it's older now that I'm starting to go old. but it the the lyrics said something about Soldier Boy, like I can't even remember. It was a rap song, but I changed the words to Seizure Boy. watch him shake, watch him roll. cool. perfect. Yeah. And my just cause I thought it was funny and it helped me like calm my nerves when I was going through my really bad seizures. But my my wife was like, I don't see the humor in that. Like you don't have to witness it. I was like, I don't witness it, but I'm in the body that's doing this stuff. Yeah. I it humor's healing. I mean it really is healing and it's it's great medicine. laughter is the best medicine, it's great medicine. So if we can you know, if we can change how we think about our challenges a little bit, and if we can find some humor in it and share that humor, you know, and we're not making fun of ourselves, you know, we're not be mm belittling our situation, we're not it's You know, we're we're we're we're you know, we're laughing with ourselves and we're finding humor in our situation and it's it's healthy and it it's it's really good for our brains. Yeah. It's do you remember the first time that you made a joke about something that previously caused you pain? I remember the first joke I I came up with that made me think maybe I could r write a joke that made me think I could take this comedy class. When when I had my breakdown, I was and I went into the psychiatric unit. before I went in I was just the anxiety was just overwhelming. like I said, I had to hide in the bathroom if there was a knock on the door or if there was a phone call and but I went into the psych unit and it was safe. Nobody could get to me, nobody could see me unless I said and they were on the list and my wife was the only one on the list. So she was the only one to come in and see me, so I was safe. And the stress lifted a little bit and the anxiety lifted a little bit, so I came up with a joke. and the joke is, do you know why they keep the doors locked to the psychiatric unit? It's because there's so many people trying to get in. I know. So that was my joke that I came up with. And I thought, okay, you know, that was so that was early on. And then that led me to think that I could tell jokes. but Yeah. you know, I've got I've written and told lots and lots and lots of jokes about my mental health challenges and It it just it it it changes things, you know. I I was suicidal for a while and and one of the favorite jokes that I tell, one of the favorite jokes from my shows is a suicide suicide joke, is a gentle suicide joke. My my wife loves it as her favorite joke, but it goes one time when things were really, really bad, I decided But to end it all. So I went up into the bathroom and I took a bunch of pills. Afterwards I called my wife for help. She said there are more pills under the sink. Yeah. It I know. So suicide's not fun yeah, suicide's not funny, right? You can't make jokes about suicide, but yeah. And you know, w it's not making fun of anybody else. It's not minimizing anything. It's just sharing Yeah. humor from and all my jokes. All my comedy is based in reality. It's you know, the first part of the joke, the setup is is the reality, the truth of the situation, you know, and then the second part is the creative part, the the punchline that's, you know, unexpected and surprising and that's where the laughs come from. So Yeah, you you make me think of there's a comedian named Drew Drew Lynch and he has a stutter because he got hit in the hit with a softball or something when Mm. he was younger. And for some reason, most of the time when he gets on stage that stutter does kind of go away. But he tells a joke about that stutter and it's actually really, really funny. I can't remember it, but I remember laughing really hard at it. Yeah, yeah. And you know, that's it's real. I mean, when people tell jokes about you know, things like him telling his joke about a stutter, it's you know, it's real. And so when when there is a good punchline, when there's a good joke, it's really funny, you know. and it's not you know, so many times like comics, well, you know, so many times they'll they'll rant or they'll say things for applause and sometimes the jokes are easy and they're not very creative, you know, or they'll drop an F bomb or or something and to get a reaction. but telling a joke that's creative and that's clever and that's intelligent and that's funny, I mean that's you know, that's that's that's really fun. I really you know, I really like that. Yeah. Yeah. So I've got I've got another I've got a dad joke for your kids. Let's let's hear it. Okay. do you know why you can't hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? No. Because the P is silent. I'm a huge Ha ha fan of dad jokes. There you go. I got another one for ya. do you know why the farmer crossed the road? To get his chicken. Yeah, it's I know. I used to actually some of my morning meetings at work one place I worked at the I would tell dad joke to my staff every single morning. And if there was a time that I skipped, they'd be like, Well, where's the dad joke? I can't go on it Yeah. today without the dad joke. Yeah, yeah. That's great. I mean, humor in the workplace. Yes. Humor humor is healing. I've got another non-mental health related joke that's really cute. when when my daughter was in first grade, she was drawing, and the teacher came up behind and looked over her shoulder and said, Megan, that's interesting. What are you drawing? And Megan Megan said it's a picture of God. And the teacher said, But Megan, nobody knows what God looks like And Megan said, They will in a minute. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. So jokes it's interesting how you get into the mode, I get into the mode and you start seeing things differently and being creative and then the jokes just joke you Yeah, know, the jokes just they just come, you know. It's and I never know when it's gonna happen. I I can sit down and write and I can come up with jokes and things like that, but sometimes they just pop into my head and You know, like with the pterodactyl joke or the farmer joke or and a bunch of other things. And lately I've been coming up with edgy cultural jokes that I can't tell anybody. But they just come they just come, you know. Yeah, they just come to me. And it's it's hard not being able to tell because one of'em's particularly laugh out loud funny. But yeah, I can't tell it publicly. And have you with through your teaching stand up company, have you ever watched someone d discover their confidence again through yeah. yeah. Yeah, the people I teaching them? teach it's it's pretty common. They once people I ha I had a fellow, his name's Michael, and Michael came to class, his mom brought him in and he w lived a hundred miles away and they drove up and but Michael whispered, he couldn't talk above a whisper, he wouldn't talk above a whisper, he just couldn't. And it's been going on for years and years and years. And so Michael came to the class and through the class, we came up with jokes for Michael, and they were pretty funny, Yeah. and then I had Michael go home. And go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and and yell his jokes in the mirror. And then I had him the next week I had him go into the garage and yell at the top of his lungs, yell his jokes at the top of his lungs. And by the end of the class, not only did he have a bunch of really funny jokes, but he was talkative and outgoing and talking out loud, and it just totally changed his personality. It was it was amazing. It totally changed his personality. That's that's really cool that it helped him come out of his shell and realize that I can I can do this, like be this person. yeah, and he so he you know, he performs open mics and sees himself as a comic. Yeah. It was just a an amazing transformation. And I've seen the same transformation happen with other people. I mean, in different stories, different ways, but you know, Molly was a doctor and all she ever wanted to do was be a doctor and go home to her practice medicine in her in her hometown and being the hometown doctor and So she went to medical school and residency and then she had bipolar disorder and she got struck down with her bipolar disorder. So she had she couldn't she couldn't be a doctor. She had to give up medicine. And when she came to class, she's her life was shattered because she lost everything that meant anything to her. But through taking the class and finding comedy in her experiences and writing jokes, she now she sees herself as a comic. She's got a purpose. She's a comic and she performs and she goes to open mics and she performs in shows. and so now Molly's a comic and so it changed her life as well. I love it. And I I think you hit on a key word right there too that is is purpose. When somebody finds a purpose it changes absolutely everything. Yeah, and you can lose it. know, I had I mean my work, my job, my career, my businesses, that was my and earning money and building a life for the family, that was my purpose. And I lost all that. but I think, you know, if somebody's listening, you know, you do go through it. You do if you have acceptance without resignation, you you do come out the other side and you come out. And maybe it's not the same purpose, maybe you're not the same person, but You know, you you you do have purpose and you you can lead a full life. Yes, yes, for sure. If looking back and thinking about what you went through, what do you wish people knew about that struggle? Like that they I'm trying to think of how to word this. Yeah, here it was. Here okay, I got it now. Sorry. Looking back now, That's right. what do you wish people around you had understood about what you were going through? I I think, you know, when I think of that question, I think of the kids, my kids who were eight and ten. they weren't old enough to understand what was happening. And you know, it was hard on them. It was really hard on them. And so I wish you know, I just I I I just wish that was different. Okay. You know, I wish that somehow they could have been protected and shielded from from the life changes that happened and from seeing their dad go from this active, you Yeah. know, happy, successful person to, you know, somebody that was broken and shattered and could barely get out of bed. Yeah. And that's where, you know, with with with with everything that's happened, I've got a lot of regrets, a lot of thoughts, a lot of wishes that things were different. and and I can think about those things sometimes, but when I think about the kids, that's where the tears come, you know. Yeah, and it's it's I I think that anything dealing with this topic or not i I guess not even this topic, but that's where the troubles always my troubles always go to is well what would the kids think? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And I you know, I know I embarrassed my son, from time to time. to time to time. And I look back at that and I still haven't been able to talk to him about some of those things. Which is interesting. I mean I need to I I don't know, I don't I don't wanna do it because, you know, I need to do it. I I wanna do it when it comes up organically or when we're talking,'cause I don't wanna, you know, dump on him, you know, do a do a you know, unload my s my stuff onto him. I want it to be a positive, you know, productive conversation or organic conversation that we have. Yeah, of course. so speaking in terms of families, what can families do better when someone they love is struggling with bipolar depression or severe anxiety? I I think acceptance and understanding that it's not a moral failing. you c you can't will somebody out of it, you can't I don't know, badger, I don't know if that's the right word. Some people I'm sure you can't badger somebody out of it, you can't shame somebody out of it. you know, it's organic, it's in our brains. and we've so you know, patience and understanding and and being an advocate with you know Heather was an advocate for me with you know the psychiatrists and getting me to the hospital and things like that. And so being an advocate and and knowing And I think that's that it's not a permanent situation and that, you know, that it's it's it's it's gonna pass. So that you'd you know So again, acceptance without resignation. Don't resign yourself to thinking this is always how it's gonna be and your husband or your your Yeah. your wife is is always gonna be laying in bed, barely able to get up. That's not how it's gonna and you know, it's not how it's always gonna be. But that's supporting them now will help them get better and get through this. It is always important to have somebody in your corner that can be an advocate for you. Yeah, definitely, because when we're in our darkness, we can't advocate for ourselves. We can barely talk, you know. We we can barely interact, so we can't advocate for ourselves. And so it's important to have somebody that's there to stand beside us to support us. Heather would go in with me as a psychiatrist and she would tell the psychiatrist what she saw and that helped a lot. Because I didn't know what was happening. Yeah. And it's I've had the same situation where my wife had to go in and say stuff for me 'cause it's like I have a when I get really depressed I will dissociate. And you know, basically my body's there, but my mind is somewhere else. Yeah. Yep. So I was a there've been times where I was a wander risk, I would be found like spending money at a store. I'd walk away from where wherever we were at. I actually drove a car an hour and a half. I and I don't know how I was able to drive that car, but I don't remember doing it. I had a it was before I was married and my called my fiancee and she's like, You're supposed to be at work and I said, No, I'm I'm not supposed to be at work and she said, No, you're supposed to be at work. She said, Where are you? And I said, I'm in a log cabin. And growing up I lived in a log cabin an hour and a half away from where I was living at the time. And so I reverted back to going to my parents' house. So there was times where she had to take me and be like, Nope, this is what's happening. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and you know, we're both fortunate we have people in our lives that are able to do that, willing to do that for us. And and Yeah, for sure. aren't aren't just gonna hang up the phone and or sit down and pack all your stuff and put it out on the lawn. Yeah. So on top of teaching stand up comedy, I remember reading in your bio that you also are an author. Yeah. Yeah, I've got two books. the newest one is called Healing with Humor, Mental Illness to Mental Health, One Laugh, One Joke, One Inspiring Story at a Time. And it's about people that have taken the myself and five other people that have taken the class and the transformation that's happened in their lives. And it's it's it's a good book and you you hear the stories, Okay. And Molly's in there, she's chapter six, and and so you hear Molly's story. And but also it's included are the jokes that they have Yeah. come up with from the comedy class and that they've told on stage. And the jokes are are really funny. So those jokes are included. So it's inspiring and it's funny. and you connect. And Yeah. the audio book for for Healing with Humor, we were able to splice in. them performing live on stage. And so you can hear them telling their jokes on stage and the audience reaction. Okay. And so the audio book is really amazing. and then the other book is OMG That's Me, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Yeah, very possible. More. And that's the one that's been a bestseller for on Amazon in the mental health category for for nine years. I wrote about I wrote I wrote about what it was like to be in bed and not being able to get up or have constant conversations in my head and not being able to get out of my head. And so I wrote these and people read and they say, MG, that's me, you're telling my story. and it's real and it's got over seven hundred Yeah. five star reviews on on Amazon. So if somebody's living with a mental health challenge and they want to realize they're not alone, O G that's me is the book for them. Or if they're a family member and they wanna know what y what their family member's really going through, really feeling, that's the book because it it it's what is really happening with someone with a mental health challenge, what's really going on on a daily basis. it's about hiding in the shadows, it's about you know, and and their stories so that you read this story, a short story, and it's You really understand what's happening with your loved one. And people buy it and give it to their therapists or psychiatrists so that the psychiatrists, therapists understand what they're going through. Mm, I love it. And it's I I love that the you have these books that sound so vulnerable to. And it's good. Yeah. Yeah, and that all started with that Oregonian article and and and since then I haven't been able to hide. So it's been just completely open and honest and telling my story ever since. so yeah, it's that's the only way it works. It's the only way it works. If if otherwise I'm pretending and you can tell I'm pretending and doesn't work and I can't preach to people. I can't I can't tell people what they should do, what they shouldn't do. That's not that's not me. All I can do is talk about my experiences and be completely open and honest. And other people then realize that, you know, they're not alone, that that they're not the only ones going through this. And there is hope and you do come out the other side. Yeah, absolutely love it. So I have like two more questions here for you. For the person listening right now who feels like mental illness has taken control of their life, what would you want them to know? That they're not alone and that it's not permanent, that you will get through this and you will come out the other side and you'll come out stronger. and people who live with mental illness and go through the challenges are some of the bravest and the strongest people that that I know. they face these things and live with these things and they come out the other side and they're really brave and they're strong. And so you come out the other side and you are brave and you are stronger. So so understand that. And also, you know, suicidal ideation is is common. I had it. most people with bipolar disorder have it. A lot of people with depression have it. We don't act on it, but we have the suicidal ideation. But if somebody's thinking along those lines, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. because what's happening right now is temporary and you do come out the other side. And so, you know, and and suicide hotline is nine eight eight. So if anybody's having suicide alleviations, just pick up the phone, call nine eight eight, talk it out, and don't be afraid to talk about suicide. The more we talk about it, the more we get it out, the more we look at it inside out, upside down, all around, the less scary it is and the less of an option it becomes. Very well said. And last question here and then just some follow ups. If you could if you could sit beside the virgin of yourself who is struggling for those fourteen years, what would you tell him? Wow. I'd tell him that what you've lost was wonderful and exciting and fun and purposeful. But what you're going through is going to lead to something important and purposeful and is going to give you the compassion and the understanding that you need to be able to help other people. I've been asked what what would I you know, would I go back? What would what would you know, would I go back if if I could not have gone through this? And and my response was, you know, I wish that I I wouldn't wish what I went through on anybody. and I wish I hadn't gone through it and it wouldn't have happened at the same time. I am stronger and I do have compassion and it put me in a position to work with people with mental illness and to teach the stand up comedy and to shatter stigma. so I I You know, and and that's really important. So, you know, there is gonna be a purpose, there is gonna be success, just a different kind of success. Yeah. I love it. And I I feel the same way. If I could go back, I don't know if I would necessarily change that much because it's leading me to things that I'm doing now that I probably wouldn't have never done. I don't think I'd be doing this podcast if I didn't go through what I went through. for sure. And you know, you're making a difference. you know, this podcast, you're making a difference in people's lives. You're talking about things that are important. you know, and and you're good at it, you know. I've been on a lot of podcasts recently and you know, you're you don't dominate the conversation, you're not trying to prove a point, you're not you know, you don't have an agenda, you're just interested and that helped. You know, that helps me tell my story, that helps get the word out to other people what's going on and you know, so you're good at what you're doing and you're making a difference. Thank you. Thank you for the the kind words. I appreciate it. It's it's I'm here for for your story. That's what I want to hear. That's really all it is. And so where where can people find you? Dave Mowry.com. So it's Dave M O W R Y dot com. And there's information about me, they can contact me through that. the books are available on Amazon and so Amazon dot com for the books and there are links on the website, Dave Mowry dot com for the books. So you can you can access them either way. and the audio book of Healing with Humor is special and it's really good. So if somebody wants to be inspired, wants to get some laughs, wants to sh help shatter the stigma associated with mental illness, pick up the audio book for healing with humor. Thank you. And we covered a lot of ground in our discussion tonight. Is there anything that you'd like to bring up that we did not? No, I think I think you like you said we covered a lot of ground. I can't think of anything that's that's pressing that that I need to add to to our conversation. Perfect. Well, Dave, thank you so much for coming on. I admire what you're doing. I admire that you're out there helping people with mental illness, that you're being vulnerable and sharing your story, that you're just pushing through the challenges that you face. Well, thanks so much, Travis. Thanks for having me. I I appreciate that. And thank you to all that are listening. If this story resonated with you, please give us a follow and leave us that five star review on the podcast platform that you're listening on. Thanks again. Until next time.