Estate Planning and Masculinity: Navigating Legacy, Mental Health, and Modern Tools for Men

Unlock the secrets to effective estate planning and explore its profound impact on mental health, especially among men. Join us as Oscar Vazquez, founder of EstetDocPrepcom, challenges the traditional perceptions of masculinity that deter many men from addressing their estate planning needs. Discover how taking control of your assets can provide peace of mind, reduce stress, and ultimately serve as a powerful mental health tool. With California's soaring probate costs as a backdrop, Oscar underscores the importance of proactive legacy management to ease future burdens on your loved ones.

Dive into the nuances between a will and a living trust and learn how these choices can significantly influence asset distribution and family dynamics. While a will may lead your estate through the complex and often costly probate process, a living trust offers a seamless alternative, ensuring your wishes are honored without court intervention. We also explore the role of modern technology, from digital wills to AI tools, in making estate planning more accessible and user-friendly. With insights from seasoned estate planning attorneys, this episode is your guide to safeguarding your legacy while maintaining your mental well-being.

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Chapters

• 0:16 Exploring Masculinity and Estate Planning
• 11:28 Estate Planning

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:16

Hey everyone, welcome back to Mind Over Masculinity, the podcast where we explore the layers of modern masculinity, mental health and the personal growth.

Speaker 1: 0:27

I'm your host, avik, and I believe that redefining what it means to be a man starts with open conversations about our struggles, strengths and everything in between. So today's episode is a game changer because we are diving into a topic that often files under the radar, that but has the power of drastically reduce the stress and anxiety Estate planning. I know, I know I mean this might not sound like the sexiest topic at first, but trust me, when you realize how much peace of mind and control estate planning can bring, it becomes a cornerstone of managing life's inevitable uncertainties. And who better to guide us through this than Oscar Vazquez? So welcome to the show, oscar.

Speaker 2: 1:31

Well, thank you so much, Kim. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to share some great information with you and your audience. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1: 1:42

Lovely, lovely, lovely to join today. And so, oscar, before we start our conversation, I'd quickly love to introduce you to all of our listeners. Dear listeners, oscar is the founder of EstetDocPrepcom. Estetdocprepcom yes, you heard it correct A platform that is dedicated to helping families avoid the high costs and the emotional turmoil of probate. So he's here to show us how estate planning is not just a financial tool, but it's a mental health tool. So grab your coffee, your journal or just your willingness to learn, and let's unpack how protecting your legacy can protect your mind. So welcome to the show again. So, oscar, like I mean, thank you so much for joining us today and taking your time from your busiest schedule. So, uh, first thing, I definitely, uh definitely, come to you that why do you think that so many men avoid estate planning altogether? Is it a lack of knowledge or fear of mortality, or it's just a plain procrastination?

Speaker 2: 2:54

you know, I think I think the the um, the stress or the anxiety that men, that men get from it because of the it's, it's, if you're not guided and you try to do it alone, um, the complexity of of doing the state planning one is is there's a lot of questions, there's a lot of questions and it creates anxiety because there's so many things that get thrown at you when you're creating an estate plan, and I always tell people that you do. It's kind of like we take an estate planning when we do an estate plan with you, because when you decide that you do need an estate plan, it's the anxiety that prevents you that then gets you into procrastination. However, I always tell people that always take a step back and get educated on what is an exact estate plan and what it is. If you understand how, the simplicity and put it into layman's terms on what an estate plan. An estate plan is a living trust, a comprehensive living trust that is an agreement between you, the grantor, and your kids or the beneficiaries of your assets, that the courts help the courts or the government helps you to ensure that they have peace of mind. That has to have it Now, understanding the simplicity of the estate plan and how strong it is, helps you understand that it's a lot of comprehensive, a lot of great information and a lot of information, a lot of great information and a lot of information that you need to put into it to be able to protect you.

Speaker 2: 4:52

Now, everybody has an estate plan. It's one, and in the United in here and I like to use California because that's where we do Now we do estate planning throughout the United States. But, understanding that estate, there's two plans that you have, two options. One is have an estate plan where you decide what happens to your assets or your belongings, your home, your assets, your retirement accounts, your bank accounts, what happens to it, because when we pass, we take nothing with us but our soul. However, there's two plans. The first plan is you decide on what happens to your assets. The second thing is, or the alternative, is you do the government plan where you allow our government to decide what happens to your assets, what happens to the family home, what happens to anything and everything that has more of minimum value of $60,000?

Speaker 2: 6:12

Now in California, the average home is $700,000. So if you're a homeowner, you're going to go to probate. Probate means that the court charges you Now, you pay Now. In California and I say this because we do a lot in California the minimum court cost is estate plan is people that are homeowners, because if you're a homeowner you don't have an estate plan. You're going to go to probate, that's just a must. And what happens is what they don't realize is that the beneficiaries, the kids, end up paying minimum $26,000 or higher. I've seen it go up to about $110,000 in court fees on top of court and attorney fees to go through the probate process.

Speaker 2: 7:26

Now that's not even the worst part of not having an estate plan. It's not even the worst. The worst is that the government decides what happens to your minor children happens who gets the portions of the house. Now that means if you have five kids or you had a kid from a separate marriage, everybody gets a piece because the court wants to be fair with everybody. So, understanding that basics of estate planning and them and people having the anxiety is because I believe the main reason is the topic of not understanding that you eat an elephant one bite at a time. True.

Speaker 1: 8:19

Wow, that's a lovely one. Yeah, and also on this, like you mentioned that fear or avoidance right. Mentioned that fear or avoidance, right. So do you think that societal expectations about masculinity play into the hesitation? I'm sorry say, say, say the question again I mean, do you think that the societal expectations about masculinity play into this hesitation?

Speaker 2: 8:56

Yeah, because I'm going to tell you in my home I'll give you an example I earn the money, but a lot of the financial decisions, or a lot of those, it's nobody wants to, nobody wants to, the hesitation, nobody wants to decide. When I die, who gets what? I'll give you an example. I've sat down with my in-laws two, three times already and they're stuck on who's going to decide on taking care of their health directive. Who do they want to decide? They say, well, we want everybody to agree. And I said, said, well, then nothing will happen, because to get five people to agree it's a lot harder to be able to get. If they agree, then they're deciding on what they want.

Speaker 2: 9:41

So I think, I do think that masculinity, um, can be something, and I and I think it's the avoidance of more than anything is, as you get older, you know that the reality is that you're not going to be here. And by knowing that you're not going to be here, what's going to happen? You kind of like, you're kind of already admitting to the fact that you're going to die. Well, I mean, we're all going to. And I say, in California there's two things that are guaranteed.

Speaker 2: 10:15

One is we're going to die and two, we're all going to in. In. I say in California there's two things that are guaranteed. One is we're going to die and two, we're going to pay taxes. Those are the two things that are 100% guaranteed in in life, right?

Speaker 1: 10:28

So so that could be, that could be definitely a a situation that that arises, okay, and that's great and that's uh that there's a real truth, real truth. So it's fascinating, like how someone and something uh so practical is deeply tied to emotional and the um, the cultural narratives about being a man. So breaking through those uh mental barriers is very, very crucial, as the planning itself. So definitely so. So let's talk about some emotional benefits, like do you think that creating a living trust or a will has a therapeutic side? And almost like journaling, like it's it uh externalize your thoughts and worries about into a tangible plan.

Speaker 2: 11:16

So yeah, yeah, you know, here's, here's, the here's what, what? Um, here's, the here's, the here's the thing I want to. I want to. It's very important that people understand the difference between a will and a living trust. It's important because, in the end and how I explain it is that a living a will is your wishes, to tell the court what you want to have happen, but the court still decides on what's going to happen. But a will just tells the court you still have to go to probate, you still have to, excuse me, um, you still have to go. A will still has to go to probate and the court still decides on what happens to your kids and your assets. A living in a state plan, a living trust, prevents you going to court and, and and it's a more of a of a of demand. So one understanding that and the peace of mind that you have can can give you. Let me give you. Um, I put down. Let me give you an example um, I call this the, the family dispute that torn siblings apart.

Speaker 2: 12:41

Um, mark, mark, a gentleman, we're going to just call him Mark, it's not the Chuni, but I remember him and his market, and he would like his family after passing that he didn't believe that he needed an estate plan. Unfortunately he passed and was unexpected, and his three adult children couldn't agree on how to divide up their assets, so the court decided to divide them. Now a child came about that he had from a previous marriage that they never knew that he existed, but he was named as the father on the date of birth and he proved the date of birth. Was named as the father on the date of birth and he proved the date of birth. Though that person ended up getting a percentage of the assets because the courts decided to give him a percentage even though he never was in Mark's life.

Speaker 2: 13:39

By not having a living trust, those assets didn't go to all of Mark's kids that took care of Mark and that was with them. And so then the relationship between everybody there was like a new relationship that came up to a sibling or a brother, a half brother, that they didn't even know that existed and by not having a living trust, he couldn't exclude them from the inheritance. So the court gave them a percentage and it was a large. It was, you know now, instead of four kids, now there was five. Right that that the court divided up those assets. So the, the, the, the sense of them not having an estate plan cost them dearly, and on top of that they had to pay all of the court and probate fees for having the court decide on what they wanted to have happen.

Speaker 1: 14:39

Exactly Understood, and do you also think that modern technology like digital wills or AI tools will make the process more accessible and less stressful for men?

Speaker 2: 14:53

oh, absolutely. I can tell you that. You know that's one of the technologies that our, our software, because we are a software company, is what we are. We are a software company that we took estate planning attorneys and to create the software to be able to have unlimited updates, unlimited changes, unlimited things to prevent men and families combined, prevent them from having all of the anxiety and the overwhelming that it takes, because using the technology it's it's a document that gets saved and you can be able to update it unlimited amount of times throughout your life.

Speaker 2: 15:39

So most people say, well, I'm not ready to die yet, so I'm not going to prepare my estate plan. If you're a homeowner, you live in the united states, you need an estate plan no matter what, because you don't know when you're going to die. I mean, if we all can, if we all knew that date, that would be that we could all. We could all take and take more advantage of of the world that we live around. So the technology that we use is based off of many estate planning attorneys' written documents. The artificial intelligence can give you the basics and the rundaround, but the wording and the law is worded by each state, so the documents get recognized by the courts and you don't have to go to probate. That's the main thing, is that you want to prevent going to probate and that's the main purpose of that.

Speaker 2: 16:40

But yes, technology has helped and it makes it accessible of that. But yes, technology has helped and it makes it accessible. Giving another big example normally um, an estate, an estate attorney using um, that that does estate planning, their documents or their contracts or living trust, costs from five thousand dollars all the way up to $10,000. I've seen them up to $15,000, depending on how comprehensive you get the same estate plan using the technology that we have, because there's no attorney involved. It's a self-made software that's recognized by all 52 states, recognized by all 52 states. The software helps you be able to write it out at a fraction of the cost of hiring an attorney, but the documents give that to you. So, yes, taking advantage of it will relieve the anxiety. It'll help you have more peace of mind, knowing that your family is taken care of.

Speaker 1: 17:46

Perfect, perfect, that's a really lovely one. Yeah, I'd say it's exciting to see how technology is bridging the gap and making this process less daunting and more approachable for all. So, oscar, thank you so much for sharing your expertise and wisdom with us today, and definitely you have transformed what might seem like a dry topic into something deeply meaningful and actionable. That's really, really awesome. So, for the listeners, I'd love to mention that always remember that taking charge of your estate isn't just about protecting your assets. It's just about protecting your assets. It's all about protecting your peace of mind and creating a legacy of love and responsibility.

Speaker 1: 18:34

So here's your challenge for the week Take one small step, whether it's writing down your assets, discussing your wishes with your family or maybe visiting estateprepcom. Start taking control today. So if this conversation has resonated with all of you, do not keep it with yourself. Share it with a friend who might need to hear it. Let's keep growing, learning and redefining what it means to be a man in today's world. So until next time, this is your host, avik, reminding you to prioritize your mind, your legacy and your life. So stay strong, stay mindful. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 19:16

Wanted to do a quick plug. I'd like to go to estateprep and you could use MIND over M-A-S-S. The coupon code for all the listeners is MIND, m-i-n-d over M-A-S-S, and you could save $1,000 by using that coupon code and that's for the listeners that are listening to that, that coupon code, and that's for the listeners that are listening to that. You go to estateprepcom, estateprepcom, and you'll find the link here. And for the listeners that are out there and would like a free book, a free handbook on estate planning, um, there'll be a link provided here, somewhere on the on the channel or here, that we'll be able to provide. She can get a free handbook, no problem at all. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 20:11

Lovely, lovely, great. So, dear listeners, I'll put all the links and the code into the show notes that it will be much easier for you to reach out and check out the offer. Definitely so. See you next time, thank you. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 20:23

Okay, offer definitely, so, thank you, see you next time. Thank you, thank you so much, okay, thank you.