Redefining Masculinity: Embracing Emotional Well-Being and Self-Worth for Personal Growth and Fulfillment -Nicolette Nierras

Join us as we chat with Nicolette Nierras, the powerhouse behind the holistic lifestyle platform and evocative host of the "You Are Worthless" podcast. Nic, a former chartered accountant turned Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) practitioner, sheds light on the myths of modern masculinity. Delve into her compelling insights on how societal pressures push men to bury their emotions and how RTT—a blend of neuro-linguistic programming, mindfulness, hypnosis, and cognitive behavioral therapy—can dismantle these barriers. Discover how Nic guides men to reclaim their emotional well-being through supportive networks, paving the way to more fulfilling lives.

We tackle the pervasive imposter syndrome, drawing parallels to nurturing one's inner child with understanding and encouragement. Nic emphasizes the significance of self-awareness and how transitioning to a holistic lifestyle, harmonizing mind, body, and soul, can redefine self-worth. It's a call to embrace emotional health as integral to true masculinity, transcending traditional measures of success. For those in career flux or personal transformation, Nic offers a blueprint for a balanced life where happiness and growth are paramount. Tune in for a heartfelt exploration of self-worth and learn how to redefine success on your own terms.

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Chapters

• 0:10 Redefining the Modern Man
• 11:24 Empowering Men Through Self-Worth
• 19:47 Valuing Self-Worth and Holistic Lifestyle

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

it's the podcast show where we break down the myths, explore the truths and redefine what it means to be a modern man. I am jose avik, and today we are diving into a conversation that every man like, whether you are a go-getter in the corporate world or a dad father trying to keep it all together, then you need to hear this. Our guest today is someone who has walked the walk of transformation and emerged stronger, clearer and more aligned than ever. So please welcome, nicolette Neves. We call her Nic, so welcome to the show.

Speaker 2: 0:53

Thank you so much, arvig, for having me, and thank you for inviting me to your ninth podcast show, kudos World. Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1: 1:00

Lovely, lovely. So, nic, before we start our conversation, I'd quickly love to introduce you to all of our listeners. Uh, dear listeners, nick is the founder of holistic lifestyle and the powerhouse behind you are worthless podcast. So she has taken her background as a high achieving chartered accountant and combined it with the rapid transformation therapy which called RTT, to create a holistic coaching program coaching platform, rather that helps men and women redefine the balance and the success. So today, nick is here to discuss something that we will need, but really we prioritize, which is creating a holistic lifestyle that embraces the mental health purpose and the happiness. So together, we will tackle the topics like the role of RTD in unlocking the emotional mastery, breaking through the societal molds, and also like finding the fulfillment that goes deeper than a paycheck or promotion. So, gentlemen and ladies, tuning in, get ready for a conversation that's equal parts enlightening and actionable. So welcome to the show again.

Speaker 2: 2:23

Thank you for the wonderful and exciting introduction, avik. I am so excited to be here and we're going to talk about men today, wow. But truly it's not just men, because men are surrounded by women, be it their partner, their colleagues, right, and we have no choice but to interact with them. Now, I'm female and you're a male. I mean, of course, we are very aware of the gender pronouns these days, but in this dynamic, it's a very important topic and thank you so much for having me on the show.

Speaker 1: 2:56

You're welcome. So, nick, to start with, I mean, you have worked with countless individuals on creating a balanced and fulfilling lives, so any of that experience uh, why do so many men struggle with achieving the true balance? And, uh, at the same time, what do you think like? What's the first step they can take to reclaim it?

Speaker 2: 3:24

I think the problem these days I don't want to just talk about these days because it's been there since ancient times where man is the head of the house, therefore they have to assume the role of being the provider and the protector, simply because of their strength, and women, on the other hand, is the nurturer, the supporter, in terms of moral, especially in the household dynamics. So the issue with that nowadays, of course, before men were sent outside to go and hunt food and bring food to their families right and hunt food and bring food to their families right. But today we no longer have the threat of a saber-toothed tiger or any other mammals or animals that are life-threatening to us, but rather it is more on mental health and the perception of what the society has on men and women alike. So now, the focus today is men. It is still so, you see, the narrative of men is still perceived as the one who has to bring the dough home, bring the bacon home, and because of all of this societal pressure that men has to be this, this and this, they are suppressing inadvertently their emotions. That you know, I actually feel tired, or why are my needs not being met? And these needs are, you know, just simple. You know, I, for for a female like myself, I get recharged by talking to people, by, you know, and men don't do that because it is this, this whole stigma, that, okay, if men open up, they're perceived as weak. And we're here to tell you that men are also human and men has feelings. They have feelings and they have the same right as women to express their feelings as much as they can, and it is as valid as they come.

Speaker 2: 5:43

So, and then the second part of the question was what is the first step? Well, the first step that I can take is get somebody around you that you trust, because when you trust somebody let's say you have a best friend, right, it's the closest thing to you. You won't perhaps your wife is is you're even scared to tell what's going on at work. Let's say you're having a bad, bad, um, it's a bad score at work. You're not, you're not hitting your target and you don't want to worry your wife or your parents. So you talk to your friend and this friend can create when I friend, it could be a friend that you trust, or you go to professional help. So going to these people where they can create safe space for you is important because you need to get it out, you need to let it out whatever that you're holding within. So yes, that's number one, the easiest.

Speaker 1: 6:48

Lovely, lovely Thanks for sharing this and about RTT, I think so. Rtt is such a powerful tool, so if you can explain, like how it helps men break free from the limiting beliefs or maybe the emotional blockages that hold them back from living their fulfilling life.

Speaker 2: 7:12

Oh, I love this question. Thank you so much. People listening for the first time. Rtt is a combination of modalities on neuro-linguistic programming, mindfulness, hypnosis and cognitive behavioral therapy. So those modalities come together under the helm of rapid transformational therapy. Now, it is rapid because it goes straight into your subconscious mind where we uncover and unravel those limiting beliefs that you have picked up when you were kids, all throughout your life until this present moment.

Speaker 2: 7:53

So, for example, a man can be told, or, let's say, in a session typically a session entails where I would sit down with the client and then we go to a part where I take you into hypnosis. This hypnosis is actually not what you see on TV. It is a relaxation of your nervous system. So you have full control. So whenever you're in hypnosis, you have no, you have full control. So whenever you're in hypnosis, I want to break this myth, saying that in hypnosis you have control. I won't ask you to go rob a bank. If I ask you to go rob a bank, your moral compass will say, hey, that is not right. So whatever that you see on the radio or on TV, it's not true. So hypnosis is the relaxation of the nervous system. So when you go into this state, you unlock or you enter the state of subconscious. So subconscious mind, so our mind is comprised of two parts. Conscious, we are talking right. Unconscious is everything is being recorded. So you brush your teeth, you do anything. That is the belief that you form. So let's say, imagine this If you are a kid, a boy of 10 years old, so you were asked, and let's say you were asked to go somewhere, and then that person, and then you had an encounter with your father and said dad, I'm actually scared, this is just an example.

Speaker 2: 9:18

I'm actually scared, this is just an example, I'm actually scared to do this. They say why are you scared? You have to man up and then at that moment, you're being called certain things. Like you are, you know certain nasty words that will affect you and you ingrain that in your head. Right, so it's. And you believe that until at this point, let's say you're 50, 60. Even so, the role of RTT is go straight to the root. Go to the root and tell and uncover exactly what was the issue at that point and make the connection to understand. Oh, actually it's not. It is not the current issue, it is before. So once the client understands the connection, it's easier for us to reframe that belief and plant a new belief and, in fact, yeah, and that's that's uh very truly said, yeah, yeah and um.

Speaker 1: 10:19

We often uh hear about imposter syndrome. So, yeah, so imposter syndrome, it is something which you help many clients with, so do you think that it manifests uh differently in men as compared to the woman?

Speaker 2: 10:33

like, if, again, I think, um, it manifests in everyone, regardless of gender. But yeah, I'm sure it manifests in certain varying degrees. So, for example, for men, it is the okay men, because they are masculine, right, okay, everybody has the masculine and feminine. So men is more on masculine, so that means it's driven. Masculine means doing, going out there to do. So if you are doing something, man usually gets satisfaction from that, right, right.

Speaker 2: 11:13

But if you're not doing anything, you feel like you're not productive. So, in the case of imposter syndrome, not productive. So, in the case of imposter syndrome, the definition of imposter syndrome is you being scared that you're an imposter, that you are actually not. People are going to find out that you're not good enough to do whatever it is that you're doing. So let's say you are promoted to a CEO. You can have imposter syndrome by saying that, oh, I actually fake my way into this role. People are gonna find out and that is and right, and. And let's say you go invited to a show with oprah and whatnot and then you say, oh, people are gonna find out that I'm actually not all that. So yeah, and imposter syndrome is actually, and I'm not saying that once you battle it, it's going to go Because it manifests every time.

Speaker 2: 12:07

But the awareness is the most important thing about how we treat imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome, it's like a child, an inner child of us that was scared whenever it's asked to do difficult things of us. That was scared whenever it's asked to do difficult things. So your job as the parent is to love that child and to care for that child, which is you, and say that, hey, we've got this, we've rehearsed this, and then I am here with you. We're going to do it together. It's about becoming the new parent for your inner child. Going to do it together. It's about becoming the new parent for your inner child. So that's, that's one way to one quick way to actually um help with imposter syndrome that that's come up at certain occasions in your life exactly that's.

Speaker 1: 12:56

That's very truly saying yeah. Thanks for sharing this, and also like um, the holistic lifestyle. So what, according to you, does a holistic lifestyle look for a man like, uh, how? How does it differ from, uh, what we traditionally, um consider as a healthy lifestyle?

Speaker 2: 13:15

okay, uh, healthy life. But thank you well, you've actually said it across the board. Healthy lifestyle means health, right, you focus on health. So mind, body and soul. That's holistic meaning. It's aligned, it's one straight line. Usually, truly a goal of an individual throughout his or her life is to make sure that you are finding your purpose and you're aligning it with yourself. So, mind, health and body.

Speaker 2: 13:47

So usually, like I said, men, they focus on the masculine, the doing, the keeping, keeping themselves healthy, keeping themselves fit. But there's also this again, this stigma where when they look good here externally, we don't know what's actually inside. Is it tidy or is it messy? When I say inside, it means your emotional and your mental health, and I'm going to touch on a spiritual aspect too, because holistic means you're also connecting with your higher self. It's and and and it's a juxtaposition. Higher is actually your best self. But the way you tap into that is to go within, and to go within meaning exploring every kind of emotions that you have, but be the observer, not reacting to them. Based on the circumstances that you have now, throughout your life, you can act. Um, you learn, excuse me, because there are certain events that when, okay, so say you are experiencing certain things and you're doing, doing, doing and neglecting all this aspect.

Speaker 2: 15:03

That's why you're not holistic. You're only showing the good side to people but you're not really taking care of within. Are you cultivating the right mindset? Or are you spending time with the friends that you love, the family that you love? Are you cultivating that connection with people? Because those are emotions.

Speaker 2: 15:26

Now, of course, provided you go to gym, yes, we love that, we love people who are, we love men who really groom and take care of themselves. But we go a a higher, a notch higher, where men and and women, actually, you can tell when that person is tidy within and also externally. Because I and I, I can, I can show this to you, prove this to you whatever that you create around you is actually a reflection of your reality. So men are not an exception to that. So if you cultivate a good, your spiritual practices, your mindset, as well as your emotion within, it will show in your environment. So, yeah, and being holistic meaning you're taking good care of your financial, taking good care of your fitness, taking good care of your mind, emotional, social and, yeah, those areas in your life. So I hope that answers your question. Avik, I can't hear you testing, testing are you audible now?

Speaker 2: 17:07

yes, you're audible yeah, okay.

Speaker 1: 17:11

So I was saying like, uh, your message, like that, uh, you are worthy and you are enough, is so, so impactful. So how do you think that embracing self-worth can reshape the traditional definition of the masculinity?

Speaker 2: 17:32

okay, thank you. Masculine thank you for the question. Masculinity is being masculine, being driven, and then it has a connotation these days that driven at the expense of everything else. So self-worth is actually, regardless whether you're doing achieving something in your life, men especially whether you are a provider or you're a protector or you feel that you're not, you are actually enough because you need to. I need to remind every man out there that's listening right now that before you are a provider, before you are a protector, you are human first. Before you are a spouse, you are you first and you are going to be with you for the rest of your life, not your spouse and your kids and your parents and your colleagues, not your spouse and your kids and your parents and your colleagues. So, understanding and really looking at yourself being this human that's actually been given the prior, the opportunity to be here in this earth right now, is actually worthy enough.

Speaker 2: 18:46

Now I I found this. I was thinking, I was pondering, meditating the other day and I found this revelation, like I have stumbled into this in my mind. It's like, before I am a CEO, before I am a fitness trainer, before I am a podcast host, before I'm an accountant, I am me first. So I have to put myself higher than all of these aspects of my life and make sure that I am showering me with all the love first and all of once my cup is full.

Speaker 2: 19:24

Imagine you're a holy grail, or your body is a holy grail. Holy grail, or your body is a holy grail. All of this light is coming upon me and it overflows. Only then this overflows into these different aspects of my life, because I can only pour to others before once my cup is full, because if my cup is not full, I cannot pour onto others. So and that's also one I want to say where, no matter whether you are jobless or you are transitioning from a job to a new career or business, you are worthy. Your external achievements or where you are, your current circumstances, do not dictate your worth. You bring something to the table and my message to you is find that, really face every part of yourself and find that. And if you need help, where you have plenty of help available, such as this podcast and a professional help out there. So, yes, you are worthy and you are enough just being you human lovely, lovely.

Speaker 1: 20:40

What a great conversation, nick. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and giving us a blueprint for creating a holistic lifestyle that prioritizes mental health, happiness and the balance. So, dear listeners, if today's discussion stuck a chord with you, then I'm sure it did. Then take that fourth step towards change, whether it's exploring the RTT, redefining the success or simply giving yourself permission to embrace your worth, and always remember that transformation starts with. So insights and inspiration from nick.

Speaker 1: 21:16

Check out her and her coaching platform at nick miras, holistic lifestyle. So till then, thank you so much yeah, big.