Men's Work Unveiled: How Embracing Emotions Creates Stronger Men - David Gilbert

David Gilbert's transformative journey from losing his father at age 11 to becoming what he calls a "modern-day alchemist" offers profound insights into authentic masculinity. On this episode of Mind Over Masculinity, Gilbert shares the emotional alchemy that helped him transform childhood trauma into his life's purpose.

The conversation takes a deep dive into what happens when men allow themselves to feel fully while maintaining their strength. Gilbert describes a powerful breakthrough during an extended breathwork session that cracked open years of repressed grief around his father's death. This experience revealed how emotional suppression creates invisible barriers to growth and authentic presence. As Gilbert puts it, "It's one thing to put on a mask of being strong by not letting yourself express your feelings, but it's another level of strength to vulnerably show what you're feeling and still take action toward your purpose."

Gilbert's work with high achievers reveals the subconscious constraints that create invisible prisons in our lives. These limiting beliefs—often formed during childhood—become software programs running in the background, causing us to unconsciously attract situations that reinforce these beliefs. Through his Divine Masculine Embodied men's group, Gilbert helps men integrate both masculine and feminine energies, creating what he calls a "sacred union" within themselves. This balance allows men to access both their strength and vulnerability, action and intuition.

Looking toward the future, Gilbert outlines his vision for transfor

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Mind Over Masculinity
• 1:56 Meet David Gilbert: Modern Day Alchemist
• 3:24 Turning Point: From Depression to Awakening
• 5:08 The Art of Alchemy: Transforming Lead to Gold
• 7:18 Breathwork Journey: Cracking Open Emotional Walls
• 10:54 Divine Masculine Embodied: Feeling Fully While Staying Strong
• 14:27 Breaking Through Unseen Barriers for High Achievers
• 20:03 The Alchemical Journey: Future Vision for Healing
• 26:52 Closing Thoughts: True Masculinity Redefined

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the YouTube channel of the. Thank you. So, hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Mind Over Masculinity, the podcast, where we dive deep into what it truly means to be a man in today's world. We explore the raw, real and the transformative unpacking masculinity in a way that embraces strength and vulnerability, power and peace. So if you have ever felt the pressure to be the man without really knowing what that means for you, then, dear listeners, you are in the right place, because today we have an incredible guest whose journey is, I would say is, the epitome of transformation. Yes, I'm talking about David Gilbert. So welcome to the show, david.

Speaker 2: 1:52

Thank you, welcome. It's good to be here.

Speaker 1: 1:56

Lovely, lovely. So, dear listeners, before we start, I'd quickly love to introduce you with David. So David is not just an executive coach, he is a modern day alchemist someone who helps high achievers turn resistance into gold, fear into fuel and self-doubt into self-mastery.

Speaker 1: 2:17

So he is an author, a big performance expert, a facilitator of men's work and a true explorer of human potential. So, from surviving childhood trauma to earning his private pilot's license at at the age of 22, from opening a business just as the world shut down in 2020 to co-founding the men's group divine masculine embodied, so his story is one of the resilience, depth and evolution, and he's here to talk about what it truly means to feel fully, to embrace the power of vulnerability while still standing strong. That's amazing, right? So so, dear listeners, let me tell you this is the conversation that you won't want to miss, so I'll not take much of your time. Let's get jumping. Welcome to the show again, all right?

Speaker 2: 3:14

I'm excited. Thank you for that intro.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Lovely, lovely. So so, david, like I mean your journey, I mean you have been through so many transformations, like starting from, I mean losing your father at the age of 11. I'm right, right, yeah, that's right, yeah, yeah, so, and also struggling with addiction, then redefining your purpose multiple times. So what was the turning point for you? I mean when you realized that you had the power to change your own story.

Speaker 2: 3:48

Yeah, I know I went through my dark night of the soul kind of during college.

Speaker 2: 3:53

Okay, that's when I was going through a period.

Speaker 2: 3:56

I went from one college to another and the first one there was a lot of partying, which was something I did in high school, but it was really just numbing partying, which was something I did in high school, but it was really just numbing, okay.

Speaker 2: 4:12

And as I went into the other college, like I had this depression and I was by myself, living by myself at the time I had just had my dog, but I started like focusing on my diet and like and like working out and that was one of the moments where you know being tired all the time and depressed and down like I started to feel new energy and that was that was one of the key moments that like really started like create momentum to really shift things. Cause from there I started to get into like meditation and like learn a little bit more about mental health and like how to use like box breathing to regulate yourself. So once I got in that groove and felt the difference, I was like whoa, okay, like I feel better, I feel more excited about life, like I'm ready to to tackle more, and that was. That was a pretty big shift amazing, that's really amazing.

Speaker 2: 5:00

And and also on that I mean uh, you talk about alchemy in your work, so if you can break down what that really means when it comes to self-transformation, yeah well, alchemy is the art of transformation and as we go through life, we're going to pick up what I call lead, we're going to pick up limiting beliefs, we're going to pick up really difficult circumstances we can't fully integrate, which we call trauma and like other life things that we just can't make sense of, and these can be things that weigh us down and maybe keep us in the past or keep us from going for that thing that we want, or just showing up authentically and like with an open heart and being able to be truly present.

Speaker 2: 5:47

Like you know, as a man, it's really powerful to just sit in presence because we're always thinking and we're in the future and wondering, like you know, how do we protect and like look out. So, when you can understand that we just pick up this lead, that you always have the power to consciously transform that in some way, it can give you purpose, it can give you appreciation for life. You know, when I lost my father at the age 11, uh, after that moment, there was a moment where it was like I'd give any amount of money just to like have 30 seconds to give my dad a hug again and you just see relationships or like simple thing of like sharing a meal with loved ones like has a whole lens and appreciation. So it's it's often our, our leads like if we jump into them, they can absolutely be your greatest gold.

Speaker 1: 6:46

So I mean, here it's like, I mean, I really love the idea that turning adversity into gold, it's really something so many men struggle with. So I mean, instead of seeing pain as a curve, like you were saying it to be a fool, so that's, that's amazing.

Speaker 2: 7:08

Yep, okay so, yeah, yeah, I can share another. Another big shift moment in my life and it brings us all together is I lost my dad at a young age and I went introverted and and, like you know, the the typical man we tend to see in the movies and stuff is very stoic, right, they don't express their emotions.

Speaker 2: 7:30

Yeah, and that was me partially because that was my natural state to be introverted, and then that was me. And then I went through natural state to be introverted and then that was me. And then I went through high school and like I shared, like I got into alcohol and pot, which I thought I kind of dealt with the grief from my dad, but I did not, yeah, and that was just numbing it. And it wasn't until 2019 when I ended up doing an extended breathwork journey and I'm in the breath work session and I'm it's like it's all right. There's some people making crazy noises. I'm like I don't know what's going on, but I'm here, okay, here for it. You're breathing for like an hour deeply, uh, and then all of a sudden, when the assistant, uh, come over and it's a guy I just know because of egg man hand touched my hand and it sat me back to the night I lost my father. Like I went right back to that memory and what came up was later, kind of like during that and while I was processing because I just cracked me open, like I just all that sadness like came back and it was like a visual almost of like a walnut and all this emotional energy that you know got repressed and like topped away, which kind of like hardens, and it's like trying to shove a balloon underwater, like it's underneath the surface. Uh, that got cracked open.

Speaker 2: 8:47

And I spent a couple months after that giving myself space to like let the feelings come up and actually feel them fully. Okay, and it was through that process where just this like insight like what did I learn from this came up. Uh, but simultaneously I put in my own language of like oh, that's your, your soul gold. Right when you can feel the experience fully, ask what did you learn from it? Then you get your soul gold and your soul gold is the lessons, the experiences, the growth that you have. That is the only thing you get to take with you when you're on your deathbed and we can really appreciate these, these moments.

Speaker 2: 9:31

But, especially for the men out there, like to get through some of those circumstances, we do have to feel fully and by sealing fully then you can start to get to the gold. Otherwise, you have, like this whole barrier, this whole wall of emotional energy that's going to keep you from getting to the real insight or keep you from getting to be truly present or open your heart or feel more joy or like fill in the blank of what you're looking for, right. So by like jumping into that, you, you open yourself up and then you realize, at least in my own experience, like, oh yeah, the emotions aren't that bad. They. They definitely are not fun sometimes and severe grief. Or like the really hard ones are absolutely really hard, but like the daily ones where, like, our little patterns and triggers get brought up, like it's not that bad, it sucks. It definitely sucks, but it's not that bad. He'll survive.

Speaker 1: 10:25

Exactly, I agree on this. Yeah, so also, also, like you founded Divine Masculine Embodied so, a group which is dedicated to helping men fully, I mean feel fully, while, uh, staying strong. So, in your experience, why do you so, I mean? I mean, why do so many men struggle with allowing themselves so to feel?

Speaker 2: 10:49

yeah, I think it's part of what we're told as like a collective society. Now I'm in the united states so know my experience. But we see it in the movies right. Like just go be the macho man, don't show emotion. Like, be the Spartan or whatever.

Speaker 1: 11:05

It is the hero you can't cry, you can't say sorry, no, like this.

Speaker 2: 11:12

Yeah, and you don't need anybody, like it's just you, rambo style, like you're just gonna go off and be the hero all by yourself, exactly. But we can even look back as like, how did we evolve over time? We evolved over time and tribe right, having our, our brothers, by our side and going and hunting together and having that bond. So divine, divine masculine embodied is we. We tend to think of the, the masculine that that doesn't show the emotions, doesn't have feelings and just does things by himself. Where in in my definition of divine masculine, a significant part of it is understanding. We have a masculine energy and a feminine and it's and bringing that in unison and alchemy. They call it the sacred union, bringing that in in union within yourself so that you can access both Now if you're in a relationship, and then you could polarize in your masculine, masculine right, that's being divine masculine. But it's this process of accepting and opening up your intuitive side, your emotional side, your nurturing side and and like what we tend to see as as the feminine, and then, when you bring that together like, you feel a new level of, of peace inside.

Speaker 2: 12:33

But from my own experience, there's there's not a whole lot of models of that in in mainstream culture.

Speaker 2: 12:42

So when you go to something like a men's group or a retreat and this was my own experience, I went to this, this retreat and there's this guy who was an old ufc fighter he's taller than me, he's's huge, he's jacked, he's like cut and lean, and he was like he was up there starting to share his story at the beginning of this retreat and he starts crying, oh, and you could see all the other guys in the room, like in the audience, kind of looking around like is this okay?

Speaker 2: 13:09

Like he's crying, like he's a, he's a big guy, like you know, his name was Kyle Kingsbury. Um, and that was just such a moment to to appreciate that it's one thing to put on a mask of of being strong by not letting yourself express your feelings, but you're human. So it's another level of strength to to like vulnerably show what you are feeling and own that and then, as a man, like still be able to take action or still be able to live into your purpose or or follow the, the mission that you're here to to follow yeah true, exactly.

Speaker 1: 13:51

So I mean, uh, that's really powerful. I think that the old narratives of tough it out has done more harm than good. So, because men need spaces where they can be seen without losing their sense of self, so that's very important, yeah, and also, at the same time, like you, talk about breaking through unseen barriers. So what's the most common invisible wall that high achievers, especially men, face when they come to you for coaching?

Speaker 2: 14:25

Yes, oh, this is my favorite stuff to dive into. It's the limiting. We'll call them limiting belief, but another term could be subconscious constraints. So we go through life and I can just share my story, like when I was three or four, my parents got divorced and there was a moment where, at no fault of their own, we all have our own stuff, our own experiences. Right, they were yelling at each other. I was a little kid. I was yelling at them to stop. It did absolutely nothing. So I ran off and I was kicking and screaming on the ground but I felt powerless and voiceless. So that subconscious belief of I'm powerless now became like a software program for my mind.

Speaker 2: 15:09

Now it's tricky because we have our conscious brain and our subconscious brain and the subconscious brain does all the you know habits and like habitual ways of thinking and like our heartbeat and all the thing our body does and like holds onto our beliefs. So it's not something we're really aware of. And that's where it's helpful to know, like the first phase of alchemy is the black phase, which is getting to know the unconscious parts of yourself. So you go through life, you have experiences. As a kid there's typically, by being human, you're going to have some kind of fear based or scarcity based or lack based belief, like I'm not, something, I'm not capable, I'm not worthy, I'm not lovable, or just there's so many different flavors. But when you start to bring that to the surface it gets really crazy because you see, you live in this subconscious. It's really a prison, because if I say I'm not, you know I'm powerless and this is a subconscious belief that I'm not aware of. I'm going to continuously run this program, this software, and that means I'm going to attract circumstances to me that prove, because we have our, our personality self, which you could say is the ego or the mind, and it's wired to survive and the and the personality self wants to be right. Because if the personality self loses who it thinks, it is like that's a form of death. So it's gonna fight for your beliefs, because if you don't have your beliefs, what are you? So you go through life, you attract these circumstances to prove that you are right about your beliefs. So if I'm in a state of I'm powerless, I'm going to put myself in situations where I feel powerless because my mind is being right about that limiting belief. So this is something high performers aren't truly. You know there is.

Speaker 2: 17:11

If they getting stuck, it's because they don't know what that limiting context is. It's kind of like the root, like the weed the root of the weed in our mind that will stop you from getting to that next level. So I literally just took a executive through a session yesterday and he felt like he was wrong for being him as a kid, oh, and he attracted these startups not to give too much of a story away, but like he attracted these massive startups only for him to feel wrong or wronged by others and that they didn't, when they didn't work out. So by bringing that to the surface, you can can see this pattern, you can bring it to the light of truth. Like if you ask yourself, is it true? No, well, you might say yes.

Speaker 2: 18:01

Actually, a lot of people in the first time working with me say yeah, yeah, it's true. Like I am, I'm not capable of hitting that next level. Okay, is it absolutely true? No, no, it's not true. Okay, in the absence of that belief like what's possible or what becomes available.

Speaker 2: 18:19

And that's when you start to touch this state where you feel like what it would be like without being stuck in your beliefs. I, you know, it's like a light, free sensation. We're just like oh yeah, like the weight is off and you just get to see that we go through life holding these beliefs that aren't even true. And when we do that, when we bring it to the light of truth, like that helps dissolve them and then you get to commit to the new beliefs moving forward.

Speaker 2: 18:53

Now I'll throw asterisks in there. If it's like a really deep trauma, that's like been really profound, then you really got to go through. It's not so much about dissolving it, but taking it through the transmutation process and really turning that into gold. For me, the being powerless led me to the work I do today because in my perspective, like becoming the alchemist of your life, alchemy is just becoming a powerful co-creator, like taking full ownership of your life and empowering people. This is what I do empowering people with the tools to go create and be powerful. So it brings me gold. It brings me fulfillment to share that work with others as I go through the process myself.

Speaker 1: 19:39

Understood. That's really amazing, I have to say, great and also looking ahead. Your vision is to help healing and recovery centers refine the healing journey using principles of the alchemical journey. So what does the future look like to you?

Speaker 2: 20:03

Yeah, oh, great question. Yeah, this is something I'm passionate about of, of starting to put into the world, and what I uncovered was how to take the process of transmutation and do this for the inner work journey. Now, the alchemists have been doing it for thousands of years. They call it the great work. Uh, but I was able to ground it by first. This was an experience I still do.

Speaker 2: 20:25

I take people through a one-to-one in san diego. It's a real life experience and it's the process of transmuting those leads into gold. So just to give kind of an overview of these things, that if you incorporate into your healing process or if you have a center, these are kind of the big milestones that will will help quicken, accelerate the process. So first is understanding. We have these beliefs, these limited beliefs, even before that. It's kind of like the hero's journey, like you have to be willing to jump into the unknown of, to discover things about yourself, not knowing where you're going to find there. But once you do first understand we have these limiting beliefs, right, and then from there, when you get to that core root, you can start. I call it the lead. Then we go into dissolution, which is to understand. We have our repressed emotions, like water is a symbol for emotion. So when you release those emotions attached to that belief, you can get to the next stage, which is separation. And in separation you get to the kernel right, like for me, feeling powerless, like, oh, having a career where I help others feel powerful, like that's the truth worth taking from that, like that's the goal starting to be created. And from there we also go through and start to separate. But then we also start to go through if you ever heard of internal family systems to realize we have these parts of us that got left in the past that we can integrate within ourselves. They have some other need.

Speaker 2: 22:00

It's like inner child work, or lack-based beliefs in different areas of life, or or lack based beliefs in different areas of life. So, as you integrate that into yourself as well as make a conscious commitment, I'm going to align with my highest potential, with my higher self, like I'm going to, I'm going to become one with that self. And then if you want to become a human that is truly living in freedom, love and abundance, well then you're going to have to look at the dragon of fear face to face, which means, like your, your worst case, fear and have the process of opening up your heart and allowing that fear in so that it no longer subconsciously controls you but you become one with it. So during this process too, it's really about opening up the heart, letting the lead or or the lock around your heart be opened up, and and that's where different practices like heart math are like a really practical day to day one. And then from there it comes back to understanding how to ground this as well as develop both the inner masculine and inner feminine. So having tools to develop your intuition and having tools to push through and and like, if you want to be healthy, happy and live a fulfilling life, like you have to be able to take action in certain areas, right. So having that masculine sense of clarity and courage to go do the things and action, as well as the the the feminine of of like developing your own intuition and like being able to listen to your own gut and not be dependent on everybody else.

Speaker 2: 23:34

And then a real key part is grounding with mother nature, and that is remembering that, just like you have 75 trillion cells that make up your body quick side, side note are like willing to do anything in their power for you to have this human experience as a collective of mankind. You know there's 8 billion humans on this planet and mother earth is our mother, who gives us so much abundance, so much. You know the, the water and the air and the food and the shelter and everything we need to live. And when we can reconnect with that we, we can learn that she is happy to take our pain, like she is happy to ground us into presence, into remembering what the web of life looks like and feels like and you you ground into that and you remember that she's always there supporting you. It's just been you having your limited view of not choosing to to see that. But we can come back to that and that's when we could start to feel grounded in ourselves, grounded in our our with mother earth and grounded in our collective environment and the web of life.

Speaker 2: 24:47

And that's where so many people feel disconnected. And then, to give away part of the book, they reach the peak of the mountain, this journey with the guide, and that's where they come back to we are all from the same energy. In the universe outside of us is the universe within us and we can get to know that state and then, on another level, feel interconnected to all things, because the hermetic philosophy is we're all in the one mind of God, which you could say is consciousness, right, or the quantum field. So we're all in that one mind, so we're all one, having our unique, separate experiences. We're all one, having our unique, separate experiences. And as you go through that journey, if you go through all those steps, you are going to feel more authentic, more than ever, like your unique essence can really start to shine. And then it's really about living and commitment to living out that unique essence and sharing your life freely and fully with others.

Speaker 1: 25:47

Wow, that's amazing. So, David, this conversation really is incredible, and you have given us so much to think about how to embrace our emotions without losing our strength and also, at the same time, how to break through the mental barriers and truly transform our lives in a way that's lasting. So, for everyone who is listening right now maybe you'll be listening If this has resonated with you just don't just think about it. Take action and start questioning the stories you tell yourself, start exploring the resistance that you feel and, if you are ready to go deeper, connect with David. So check out his book, the Alchemial Journey, and tap into his work. So remember that true masculinity isn't just about proving anything. It's all about becoming everything that you were meant to be. So, with this hope, until next time, keep pushing, keep growing and keep embracing mind over masculinity. So thank you so much, everyone. Have a great day ahead.