41 | What Fear Doesn’t Want You to Know About Your Anxiety – Part 1

If you have ever felt stuck in your own life, knowing exactly what you want but freezing the moment fear shows up, this episode is for you. Anxiety convinces you that staying still is safer, but waiting only keeps you trapped in self-doubt. It stops you from applying for the job, trying something new, or going after what you want. Fear feels massive when you avoid it, and this episode will show you how to change that.

In this episode, Jessica Davis, licensed therapist and creator of the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. Method, explains why anxious teens and young adults stay stuck and how fear quietly takes over your decisions. You will learn how vague fear grows, how to identify the voice you are afraid of, and why judgment shows up whether you act or stay silent. You will also learn how to take one small step forward even when your hands are shaking.

 Resource mentioned:
I was inspired by an interview where Jay Shetty talks with Alex Hormozi about fear and why people stay stuck. You can watch the full interview here. 

✨ In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• Why fear grows when you avoid it
 • How vague fears turn into overwhelming stories
 • Why naming your fear makes it smaller
 • How other people's opinions shape your confidence
 • Why judgment happens whether you act or stay silent
 • How to stop letting fear delay the life you want
 • What to do when anxiety freezes you
 • How to take your first step toward courage

RESOURCES:
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🎙️ Presented by Davis-Smith Mental Health

This podcast was created by Davis-Smith Mental Health, offering counseling for teens & young adults in Illinois (only). We accept BCBS PPO, Aetna PPO, and self-pay clients.

Links: 
Anxiety Survival Toolkit:
https://www.blockoutthenoisepodcast.com/anxiety-survival-toolkit/

Newsletter:
https://blockoutthenoisepodcast.substack.com/welcome

Davis-Smith Mental Health:
https://www.davis-smithmentalhealth.com/

1:1 Confidence Coaching:
https://tidycal.com/blockoutthenoise/confidence-coaching

⚠️ Disclaimer:  Block Out the Noise provides personal insights and practical stra...

Transcript

When Anxiety Puts You In the Passenger Seat

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Have you ever felt like you're trapped in the passenger seat of your own life? You know exactly where you want to go. You have the map, but the driver, which is your anxiety and your fear of judgment, keeps hitting the brakes. It's exhausting being in that constant loop of wanting to move but feeling paralyzed.

Welcome, Support, and the Toolkit You Need

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Today we're going to talk about how to start moving forward, even if your hands are shaking, because staying stuck is not an option anymore. Hi, and welcome to Black Up the Noise, a space for those who are ready to quiet the noise of anxiety, self-doubt, and overthinking. I'm Jessica Davis, licensed therapist and mindset coach. I specialize in helping teens and young adults build confidence and courage with the courage method. If you want something you can use the moment anxiety shows up, the free anxiety survival toolkit is in the show notes. It gives you clear steps to stay grounded when your thoughts start to race. Also, before we dive in, I want to remind you, this podcast is here to support and guide you, but it is not a replacement for talking to someone in real life. If you're struggling with your mental health, please reach out to a therapist. And if you're in crisis, contact emergency services or a local helpline. You don't have to go through it alone.

Why Fear Feels So Big

SPEAKER_00 1:36

All right, let's talk about what fear doesn't want you to know and how to stop letting it run your life. I was recently listening to an interview with Alex Ramosy. If you're not familiar with him, he's an entrepreneur who's built a hundred million dollar business portfolio, which is crazy. But he was doing this interview by Jay Shetty. And if you know me by now, you know I'm a Jay Shetty fan as well. But he was talking about fear and why people stay stuck. He was also talking about why we talk ourselves out of things before we even try. And even though he was mainly discussing business and money because he's an entrepreneur, I kept thinking about the teens and young adults who I work with who are so paralyzed by anxiety. It prevents them from applying for the job. They feel like they can't go after what they want and they can't put themselves out there. So I thought it would be really cool to take some of his ideas and concepts and bring them into our world because I think it's exactly what you need to hear. If you want to listen to the full interview from him, I'll link it in the show notes. Okay, so here's what's misunderstood about fear. Fear doesn't get bigger because the things you're scared of is actually that dangerous. Fear gets bigger because you won't look at it, we won't confront it. When your brain says things like, what if I fail? What if everyone judges me? What if I'm not good enough? Those thoughts feel massive, overwhelming, like they're facts, but they're not facts. They're just stories your brain has made up. When you don't define it, your brain fills in the blanks with the worst possible outcome. And then something worse. And then something even worse after that. It just keeps building. Your brain isn't trying to hurt you, it's trying to protect you, but it protects you by assuming the worst. And when you don't name the fear, your brain doesn't know when to stop. So here's what I want you to try.

How Naming Fear Makes It Smaller

SPEAKER_00 3:40

When fear feels huge, make it specific. Instead of what if I fail, ask yourself, what exactly am I afraid will happen? What's the specific outcome I'm imagining? Instead of everyone will judge me, ask yourself, who am I really afraid will judge me. What would they actually say? And then what? When you name the fear, when you actually confront it, something shifts. It doesn't disappear, but it shrinks because you're not running from this shadow. You're looking at something real and real things, those you can work with. Let's walk through an example because I feel like it might not be very clear on what I'm

The Voice You Are Really Afraid Of

SPEAKER_00 4:28

saying. When you imagine going after something you want, let's say applying for a job, what stops you? Most people think they're afraid of failing, but that's not really it. You're afraid of what one specific person will think if you fail. And if you're honest with yourself right now, you probably already know who that person is. Maybe it's a parent whose approval you've been chasing. Maybe it's a friend who always has something to say. Maybe it's a teacher or coach who made you feel like you weren't enough. Maybe it's someone who isn't even in your life anymore. There's a voice in your head that shows up every time you're about to try. And that voice might not even be yours. I heard Alex say this in the interview, and it really stuck with me. If you don't know why you believe something, it's not your belief. It's someone else's. But really, it was never their belief to begin with. So ask yourself, whose voice is that? Whose opinion am I really afraid of? Name it. Because once you see it clearly, you get to decide does this person deserve that much control over my life? And honestly, the answer is usually no. Alex made this point that might make us all just a little bit uncomfortable at first. But if you do nothing, people will judge you. If you do something, people will judge you. Criticism is not something you earn by messing up. Criticism is a fixed cost of being alive. Let me say that again. If you do nothing, people will judge you.

Why Judgment Happens No Matter What You Do

SPEAKER_00 6:17

If you do something, people will judge you. I know it's hard to hear, especially if you're someone who works really hard to avoid judgment, to stay safe, to not give anyone a reason to say something negative about you. But here's the thing: you can stay invisible, never try, never put yourself out there. And people still will have opinions. They'll still wonder why you're not doing more. They'll make assumptions about who you are. They'll judge your silence the same way they judge your voice. So you have two options. Option one, stay hidden, do nothing, and still get judged for being invisible. Or option two, try something. Put yourself out there, go after what you want and get judged for being visible. Either way, the judgment is coming. The only question is whether you're going to let it keep you from building the life you actually want. And here's something that I've noticed, and Alex Hermozzi pointed it out as well. The people who actually are doing things, the people who are building, creating, trying new things, they're not judging you for trying because they understand the difficulty of the path that you're on. The loudest critics are almost always the people who aren't doing anything themselves. So whose opinion matters more? The person who's in the arena with you, or the person who's watching from the sidelines, telling you everything you're doing is wrong. Okay, so we now know criticism is coming either

Turning Rejection Into Information

SPEAKER_00 7:57

way. Let's talk about what fear does to keep you from taking that first step. Anxiety is really good at one thing, freezing you in the worst moments. You imagine the rejection, the failure, the embarrassment, and your brain just stops there like that's the end of the story. Like that one moment is going to define everything. But it's not. So I want you to try something. Think about the thing you've been avoiding, the application you haven't submitted, the conversation you haven't had, or the dream you've been sitting on. Now ask yourself, what happens after? You apply for the job, you don't get it. Then what? You put yourself out there, someone rejects you. Then what? You try the thing, it doesn't work the way you hoped. Then what? Yes, it stings. I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't. Rejection hurts. Failure is uncomfortable. But here's what also happens. You learn something. You see what didn't work. You realize you've survived it. And now you have information you didn't have before. That's the difference between people who stay stuck and people who move forward. It's not that some people don't feel the pain. It's that they take the loss and use it to grow. Fear makes the first step feel like a cliff, but it's not a cliff. It's a step. And once you take it, even if it hurts, you realize I can survive this. And now I know more than I did before. Now I've grown more than I did before. Now I am building confidence that I didn't think I could have. Here's the part that might be the hardest to hear, though. Most of the time we think we're stuck because we don't know what to do. We're waiting for the right strategy, the right moment, the right sign that we're ready.

The Truth About the List You Keep Avoiding

SPEAKER_00 9:53

But the truth, you probably already know exactly what you need to do. You know the application you need to submit. You know the conversation you've been avoiding. You know the step that you need to take. The problem isn't that you don't know. The problem is that fear keeps telling you it's not the right time, that you're not ready, that you need to wait a little bit longer. But here's what Alex said that really resonated with me. You don't fail because there's some magical list you don't have access to. You fail because there's an obvious list you're not doing. And I say that with so much compassion because I get it. I know how hard it is to move when fear is loud, but every single person I've worked with who finally took the step, they said the same thing. I wish I had done it sooner. So here's your courageous moment for this week.

Your One Courageous Step This Week

SPEAKER_00 10:49

I want you to take one step toward the thing you've been avoiding. Not the whole thing, just one step. If you've been avoiding applying for jobs, update your resume. If you've been wanting to put yourself out there, actually get out to meet people. If you've been sitting on a dream, start to actually write the dream out. It makes it real when you start to actively create it. You don't have to conquer the fear today. You just have to take one step toward it instead of away from it. Because here's what happens when you do your brain learns something new. It learns, oh, I did it. I survived that. And the next step gets a little easier. And the one after that, and the one after that. That's how you take your power back from fear. Not all at once, but one step at a time. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who needs to hear it, someone who's been stuck, someone who's been watching from the sidelines, someone who's been letting fear make decisions for them. Also, I want you to remember this. Fear wants you to believe that staying safe is the answer. Fear wants you to believe that waiting is the smart choice. Fear wants you to believe that the right time is coming. It's just not here yet. But you could spend the next five years

Why Waiting Will Keep You Stuck

SPEAKER_00 12:12

waiting for fear to go away. Or you could spend those five years building something. The fear might never really disappear, but it doesn't have to. You don't need fear to go away to start building your life. You just need to stop letting it make your decisions. You are more capable than your anxiety wants you to believe. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank

Final Encouragement to Move Forward

SPEAKER_00 12:39

you for being brave enough to show up even when it's hard. Until next time, keep moving forward. Trust yourself, and never forget you have what it takes to block out the noise.