60 | Am I Just Being Dramatic, Or Is This Anxiety?

• Are you anxious, or have you convinced yourself you’re “just being dramatic”?
• Do you keep second-guessing what you feel instead of taking it seriously?
• What if the problem isn’t that you’re too dramatic, but that you’ve been minimizing something real? 

In this episode, Jessica Davis breaks down why so many teens and young adults second-guess their own anxiety and dismiss what they’re feeling before they ever get help. She talks about where that self-doubt comes from, how anxiety is different from everyday worry, and why you do not need a formal diagnosis for your experience to matter. This episode also explores how to stop minimizing your struggle, how to better understand what support looks like for you, and how to communicate that to the people in your life. 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode: 

•  Why so many people question whether their anxiety is “real” 
•  How being labeled “too much” can shape the way you view your emotions 
•  The difference between normal worry and anxiety that starts affecting daily life 
•  Why you do not need a diagnosis for your struggle to deserve support 
•  How minimizing your anxiety can lead to more shame and less progress 
•  Why people in your life may not understand what you need right away 
•  How to figure out what support looks like for you and ask for it more clearly

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This podcast was created by Davis-Smith Mental Health, offering counseling for teens & young adults in Illinois (only). We accept BCBS PPO, Aetna PPO, and self-pay clients.

Links: 
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⚠️ Disclaimer:  Block Out the Noise provides personal insights and practical stra...

Transcript

Am I Making It Up

Jessica N. Davis 0:07

Is it anxiety or am I just being dramatic? Am I making this up? So often we question ourselves. We wonder if we're being too sensitive, if we're over exaggerating what's going on with us. Maybe we think, I don't actually have anxiety. Maybe I'm just looking for attention and seeking it in all the wrong ways. And honestly, with today's culture, it makes complete sense that we're asking those questions. But I think there's real harm in telling ourselves that we're just making it up. Because what if we're not? What if we're actually struggling and by convincing ourselves it's all in our head, we're slowly, silently forcing ourselves to navigate it all alone. No help, no support, because we're too afraid to say out loud that we're struggling right now. That's what today is all about.

Welcome And Free Toolkit

Jessica N. Davis 1:04

Hi, and welcome to Block Out the Noise, the space for teens and young adults to quiet the noise of anxiety, self-doubt, and overthinking. I'm Jessica Davis, licensed therapist, mindset coach, and the creator of the Courage Method. If you're sitting with that question right now, wondering if what you're feeling is real, the anxiety survival toolkit was made for exactly that moment. It's got coping skills, audio tools, a full breakdown of the courage method, and a meditation for when your thoughts won't slow down. It's free. So go grab it in the show notes. Also, quick reminder this podcast is here to support and guide you, but it is not a replacement for talking to someone in real life. If you're struggling with your mental health, please reach out to a therapist. And if you're in crisis, contact emergency services or a local health line. You don't have to go through it alone. If you've ever asked

Why You Doubt Your Anxiety

Jessica N. Davis 2:00

yourself, am I just being dramatic? You're not alone. And I want to talk to you about where that comes from because it doesn't show up out of nowhere. We're living in a time where anxiety is talked about more than ever. There's more awareness, more conversations, more people opening up. And as important as that is, it also led to this idea that anxiety is overdiagnosed, that everyone has it. I actually had a client say that to me once. And it's a thought that more people are caring than you might think. When that's the message you're absorbing, it makes sense that you start to wonder if what you're feeling is even real. Maybe you think you're just in your feelings. Maybe you think that you need to toughen up or you're exaggerating how bad it actually is. I want to challenge that because you are only in your head. You don't know what it's like to be in anyone else's. And when you look around and everyone seems to be managing just fine, it's easy to turn that inward and think, what's wrong with me? But you're comparing your inside feelings to everyone else's outside demeanor. You're creating a narrative about how other people think and feel based on how they present. And the truth is, you don't actually know what's going on inside them. You don't know what is causing them to show up the way they do. Their strengths aren't your strengths. Their history isn't your history. The things they've carried, none of that is yours. And how they navigate something isn't how you would navigate it. Comparing your journey to someone else's doesn't help. It just makes you feel worse about yourself. And here's what I see happen most often. The world loves to tell people what they are too much of. You're too sensitive, too emotional, too quiet. You're too much. And when you hear that enough, of course you start to believe it. Of course, you start to question whether the way you feel is a problem that needs to be fixed. But when someone tells you that you're too much, they're telling you about themselves. They're saying, I don't feel equipped to handle this emotion right now, or this is overwhelming for me to navigate. It's not a reflection of who you are, it's a reflection of where they are. I think about how early these messages start for some people, how someone can be energetic, affectionate, deeply feeling. And instead of that being celebrated, it gets labeled too much, too sensitive. And my hope for every person who's been told that is that they come to understand not everyone will recognize your gifts. Not everyone will know what to do with your energy or your depths. Because we need sensitive people. We need people who feel things deeply. We need people who care. The world tries to tell us certain emotions are acceptable and others aren't, that some feelings are okay to show, but others need to be hidden. Sometimes, depending on your gender, your background, who's in the room. And so we learn to shut parts of ourselves off just to feel like we belong. So the question becomes instead of asking, am I too dramatic? Start asking, how am I actually feeling right now? How am I processing my own emotions? Do they sometimes feel like too much, even for me? If the answer is yes, then the real question becomes, is there more support I could benefit from? That's not a sign that something's wrong with you. That's you understanding yourself better. That's you starting to see where you are and what could actually help you grow. Tony Robbins said it in this way: understand that all your emotions serve you. Those you once thought of as negative emotions are merely calls to action. And I love that because your emotions aren't the problem. They're information, they're feedback, and you get to decide what to do with them.

Emotions As Useful Data

Jessica N. Davis 6:08

I'm going to switch gears for a second because there's something I really want you to think about. If you're asking what you're feeling is real, chances are it is. We don't usually question things that aren't there. We sit with something for a long time, we feel it, and then we do what we've always done to cope. We minimize or shame or even blame. We tell ourselves a different story, we push it down and keep moving. And a big part of that is fear, because admitting you might be navigating anxiety feels like a lot. It feels like something that's harder to fix, harder to manage, even harder to explain to the people around you. So instead, we call ourselves lazy, dramatic, because that seems like something we can control.

Worry Versus Anxiety

Jessica N. Davis 6:57

But there's a difference between worry and anxiety. Worry is something we all experience. It shows up, it's uncomfortable, and it's usually connected to something specific, like a test, a conversation, or even a situation. Anxiety is different. Anxiety is when it starts impacting how you function day to day, when the thoughts feel constant and never ending, when you're running on empty because your mind won't stop, when it's getting in the way of your ability to focus, make decisions, to get things done, when it feels like it rarely, if ever, shuts off. Now, from the clinical side, to be formally diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, the criteria is six months, meaning it's been happening more days than not for at least six months. And honestly, I think six months is a long time. But clinically, the reason that time frame exists is to make sure what someone is experiencing isn't tied to a specific situation or stressor, that it's not just a hard season of life. But here's what I want you to take away. You don't need a formal diagnosis for what you're feeling to be real. You don't need to have been struggling for six months for your experience to be impacting who you are and how you engage in the world. If you've been feeling this way for weeks, it's just been building, it's starting to affect how you show up. That deserves attention, that deserves support. And if you don't meet criteria for generalized anxiety disorder, that doesn't mean you can't benefit from health. Sometimes early intervention changes how long you go through it. It can shorten the season, the journey. In my opinion, anxiety is more than a diagnosis. It's something you feel and experience, and you don't have to meet criteria for your experience to be valid. Now, anxiety doesn't look the same for everyone. And this is something I don't think it's talked about enough. Think about how we talk about autism spectrum disorder and how it exists on this wide spectrum, how it impacts people differently, not how no two experience looks the same. Anxiety works the same way. In fact, I believe almost all diagnoses do. Someone can experience anxiety that shows up in certain situations and doesn't take over their whole life. And someone else can experience anxiety that makes the smallest things feel impossible. And the way we measure where someone falls is by looking at daily functioning. How much is this getting in the way of you actually living your life? There's also no single reason why someone develops anxiety. Some people, it can be genetic, like it runs in the family. It could be environmental based off of chronic stress, trauma, big life changes. Sometimes it's a specific season of life that brings it to the surface. And for others, it can be all of those things at

Diagnosis Isn’t Required

Jessica N. Davis 10:03

once. What I don't want you to do is keep minimizing it, because here's what minimizing actually does: it leads to shame, it leads to this quiet guilt of feeling like you're not improving or making progress. And in all honesty, you're not making progress because you keep telling yourself there's nothing there to work on or it's not fixable. That cycle is exhausting and you don't have to stay in it. There are real ways through this: therapy, coaching, programs, and courses, learning how to challenge the thoughts that are keeping you stuck. For some people, medication is a part of their picture. And that's not a failure. That's just what your nervous system needs to be able to absorb the skills and start to feel some relief. And for some people, that medication isn't even forever, it's just for a season. There are also school-based supports, mentorship, community, different avenues exist. The key is taking one, one step toward getting back some control instead of letting the minimizing make that choice for you. Mel Robbins said when you replace that self-doubt and self-criticism that drags you down with self-acceptance and self-love that lifts you up, your life will change. And it is so true that that's where it starts, not with having it all figured out, just with deciding to stop beating yourself up over and over again. So often the next question people ask is what do you do when people in your life just don't get it? Right? The parent who pushes it off, a friend who says you're overreacting, the partner who tells you to just calm down. Not everyone is going to understand. And that's not always because they don't care. It's often because they don't feel what you feel. They're not living in your head, right? And understanding something you've never experienced is genuinely hard. Sometimes it takes multiple conversations. It will take patience finding ways to bring people along rather than expecting them to already be there. And here's what I see happen most often. Someone who's anxious reaches out for support. The other person gets frustrated or they just don't know what to say, so they say the wrong thing. And then the person asking for help gets angry, shuts down, says something that hurts. And now both people are frustrated and nothing gets resolved. That cycle isn't just frustrating, it's exhausting for everyone in it. And I get it, when you are already overwhelmed and the person you went to for help makes you feel worse, that anger makes sense. But people aren't mind readers. They're not always going to know what you need to hear or how to say it in a way that actually works for you. And when you're struggling to manage your own emotions and you reach out for support, you open yourself up for feedback. You might not always want. That's not me saying that people in your life get to be rude or disrespectful. That's never okay. But if we're being honest, sometimes the people who love us are going to say the wrong thing, not because they're trying to hurt us, but because they genuinely just don't know what the right thing is. So before you figure out how to get support from others, you have to figure out what support looks like for you. I had a client who kept telling me that what their parents

Asking For The Support You Need

Jessica N. Davis 13:35

were doing wasn't helpful. So I asked them, have you told your parents what actually would be helpful? And they said, Well, I don't know what that is. And the funny thing is, this is like a pretty honest answer and response for most people. But if you don't know, they definitely don't know. So they're just throwing things against the wall, different responses, different approaches without any real sense of what's going to land. And if I'm being honest, actually, it's not that far off from therapy. Part of the process is offering different tools, different skills, different ideas, knowing that one size doesn't fit all, knowing that some things won't work for certain clients, and relying on feedback from the client to help us figure out what will. The goal is always to put you back in the driver's seat. And that's what I want for you here too. Start with yourself. Figure out what actually helps you when anxiety is high. What does support look like for you? Is it someone doing the task with you or breaking it down into smaller parts? Is it someone asking questions? Is it just being heard without anyone trying to fix it? Once you know the answer, tell the people in your life. Give them something to work with. Because the goal isn't to find people who instinctively know exactly what you need. The goal is to build relationships where you can ask for what you need and give the people who love you a real chance to show up for you in the right way. That's how you break the cycle.

Closing Reframe And Next Steps

Jessica N. Davis 15:11

So no, you're not dramatic. You're human. And don't let anything, not anxiety, not the opinion of others, not the story you've been telling yourself, define who you are. You have gifts, talents, strengths that are uniquely yours. You have more to offer than you know. And I hope you start seeing it. Mel Robbins said something that I want you to carry with you. There will always be someone who can't see your worth. Don't let it be you. Don't let it be you. If you haven't already, don't forget to grab your free anxiety survival toolkit in the show notes. It's made specifically with you in mind. And if this episode resonated, I'd love it if you left a review and shared it with someone who needs to hear it. It helps more people find this content and honestly, it means everything. Thank you so much for being here and listening today. I truly appreciate it. Keep moving forward, trust yourself, and never forget, you have what it takes to block out the noise.