Podcast 34 Get out of your own way - Growth beyond the comfort zone

In this week’s episode of The Fairy Elephant Effect, Elysabeth dives into a powerful topic: how fear, control, and perfectionism can block our growth — and how to finally get out of our own way.

She shares behind-the-scenes reflections from launching her new workshop (Love Languages & EFT Tapping for Classroom Calm) and offers tangible tools for moving beyond anxiety and outcome attachment.

🎧 You’ll learn:

Why we crave control when we’re afraid

How detachment from the outcome = power

3 mindset shifts to help you grow past your comfort zone

What to do when fear says “don’t bother”

Plus:

📍 Details on her upcoming workshop in Palmerston North on August 8th

📘 Event Link: www.lizziesinsightscoaching.com

💬 Leave a review, subscribe, and if this episode resonated — share it with a friend.

Quote to highlight:

“When you let go of needing it to go a certain way, life finally has room to delight you.” — Elysabeth Wolter

🌐 Website | 📘 Facebook | 📸 Instagram: @lizziesinsightscoaching

🎙️ Support this podcast via Buzzsprout — because you matter. It all begins and ends with you.

Transcript

Speaker 0:11

Welcome to the Fairy Elephant Effect, a space for realignment self responsibility, and the kind of clarity that changes everything. I'm Elysabeth Wolter life Coach, EFT Tapping Specialist and the author of the Fury Elephant Effect, and a Guide for People Ready to Stop Shrinking and Start Living From Truth. In this podcast, we explore emotional resilience, shifting the stories that no longer serve us living with more energy, not less as we grow. We have fantastic guests on the podcast that come along and share their fury, elephant effects, and when you get to choose your next chapter on your own terms. I speak from experience, not theory, and what I share has helped hundreds of others reclaim their power and return to themselves. You won't find fluff or false promises, just real conversations. Grounded truth and honest encouragement, you matter because everything starts and ends with you. Let's begin.

Speaker 2 1:41

Hello and welcome back to the Very Elephant Effect Podcast. Today's episode is called Getting Out of Your Own Way, growth Beyond the Comfort Zone. I know the title alone feels confronting because sometimes we are the ones blocking the very things we say we want, not because we're lazy or unmotivated. Because we're afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of getting it wrong, afraid of being too much, or not enough. She says no. We're gonna talk about that fear, about letting go of it and about the massive shifts that come up when we stop living a life in a certain way, and instead start trusting ourself to show up anyway. So fear, control, and the need for certainty. We all have that sometimes in our life, but let me take you back a little bit. There was a time in my life when fear ran the show, and I don't mean a little nervous butterflies. I mean full blown panic, hyper control, overthinking everything. I try to control every detail of my life, who said what? How it went, what it meant, because underneath it all, I was terrified. I was terrified of just everything, really. And here's the truth, I learned through healing and the empty tapping control is a trauma response in disguise. It feels safe, but it disconnects us from the trust in ourselves and others and in life. And when you don't trust that you are safe. When you don't trust that you'll be okay, even if it goes wrong, you try to manage everything and that becomes exhausting. You start making decisions based on fear instead of freedom, and that's the cage I want to help you walk out of. Today. We are going to be stepping outta the comfort zone. So right now I'm in the middle of a big audacious goal for me. I've created a brand new workshop, love Languages, and e ft Tapping for Classroom Calm. It's designed for teachers, teacher's, aides, and parents who would like to bring more emotional regulation into their classrooms and homes. But here's the catch. I set a goal, uh, that I have to do the whole Model two region, which has over a hundred schools. That's over a hundred emails, a hundred over a hundred phone calls, over a hundred potential nos. Every time I pick up the phone or press send, that little inner critic. Critic could chime. What if they say no? What if I'm bothering them? What if nobody comes? What if nobody's interested in my idea? I get it. I've heard it all, but here's the breakthrough. Now, this is the bit I really want you to lean into, guys. I've started separating myself from the outcome. They can say, no, that doesn't mean I'm raw, or I'm bad, or I'm frail. That's a big shift, isn't it? I did some tapping, empty tapping about it of being okay with rejection, and I'm remembering that the message matters more than my fear. That is growth getting out of my own way, and it's not personal to me. So the old me would've spiraled after one unanswered call. She would've taken every No personally and walked away feeling like a failure. But the new me, oh no, she's flare on her vision. She's practicing emotional resilience. She's trusting that doing is part of the becoming, and that's part of the lesson I want to pass on with you too. Growth is not about getting the outcome. Growth is about you who you are working. Towards something. Even if the 8th of August comes and goes without the numbers that I'm expecting, it won't be a failure. I may even decide to put it next year because I would've learned some valuable things about myself. I would've stretched myself. I would've grown, and I would orate to trust myself more deeply than before. Because here's the little thing, perfect timing. I'm doing the work for the right reasons, and I'm not taking it personally. I'm stretching myself, getting outta my comfort zone, and I am not allowing myself to have any expectations other than. I put the 8th of August. If it runs for the 8th of August, it's perfect. If it doesn't run for the 8th of August, it's also gonna be perfect 'cause something else, uh, another date's gonna come. But I'm having the conversations. I have started the momentum for this workshop. It's not about me, it's about what I can give to people. It's about the message. So getting out of your own way, let's break this down together. What does it really mean to get out your own way? There were three truths I found on my own work and working with clients. Number one, not taking things personally. Every no is not an insult. Every silence is not a rejection. It's just data. It's just timing. It's just somebody else capacity. They might love when I do, but that's not gonna fit for them. That's okay, isn't it? Letting go of outcome attachment when we stop clinging to how it must look and open the door for how it could look. Let life surprise you. This is a lesson for everybody when we let go of control, and so it has to look like this. We are allowing something better to kill him. Number three, showing up anyway, even with shaky hands, even evil with doubt, even when the fear sometimes comes up and feels quite loud, because that is where the magic is when you let go of needing it to be a certain way. Life finally has room to delight to you, and you've grown, haven't you? You Ally, have grown you. Have activated new character things within you, new integrity with yourself, you've done it, and that gives you a whole lot of satisfaction. So here's some reflection point Froms. Here are some questions to ask yourself this week. Where am I still trying to control the outcome? What would happen if I trusted myself more that good things could happen? There's one thing I could do this week that feels a little uncomfortable, but deeply aligned. There's gotta be something that's aligned, heartfelt, that you know that this is what you're supposed to be doing. Let these questions sum up and then write them down if you're called to. Writing things down is very good for us, and let them guide you to the next bright step. Here's some details about the love languages and EFT Tapping workshop. So if you're a teacher or a parent of just someone passionate about emotional wellbeing, I would love to invite you to the workshop. It is from Palmerson Law on the 8th of August at the New State Productions, which is 3 9 1 to 3 9 3 Church Street. It's from one o'clock to 4:00 PM It is $49 per person, and it's going to be fabulous. It's gonna create caramel classrooms, calm kids. And you're gonna learn lots about yourself. Even if you don't come. Maybe you'll know somebody who will love it. Now, this is for anybody in the manual or two wider district. Please share it with them because this message deserves to ripple out. Now, coming to the end of the episode of Great, it's been great to be here again, but if you. Would like to share this with a friend, subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. It helps so much for the algorithm gets out further. If you wanna support this work, consider being a paid subscriber on buzzsprout, which is the platform I use. It's be $3 a month, $5 a month, anything. It all helps me to do more. You can go to my website, Lizzie's insights and coaching.com. Facebook is Lizzie's Insights Coaching and Instagram is Lizzie's Insights Coaching as well. And remember, you matter. It all begins and ends with you. I will see you next time, and until then, keep going. Keep getting outta your own way and stepping out of that comfort zone. Bye for now.