Ep.40 - Why we crave certainty and Why money can’t give it to us.

In this episode, Steve and Jess talk about why our brains chase certainty, why money can't really deliver it, and how to build a financial and psychological life that bends with whatever comes.

Certainty is one of those things almost everyone wants and almost no one can have. Our brains are wired to chase it, our spreadsheets pretend to deliver it, and politicians, advertisers and well-meaning financial guarantees all dangle versions of it in front of us.

This episode looks at why that craving sits so deep, why money is a particularly bad place to look for it, and what a healthier relationship with uncertainty actually looks like in practice — across investing, careers, family life and the small daily routines that keep us functioning.

In this conversation, you'll hear about:

• Why we crave certainty in the first place, and what evolutionary wiring has to do with predictable berries, hypervigilance and modern information overload.
• Morgan Housel's line that "the illusion of control is more persuasive than the reality of uncertainty", and why feeling in control often matters more than being in control.
• Alex Hormozi's idea that the wealth you build later in life depends on how much uncertainty you can put up with, and what that means for jobs, businesses and investing.
• Why guarantees in finance usually come at the cost of lower returns, and why money sat in the bank can quietly lose value to inflation.
• How to build a financial plan that's "bendy like the grass" (courtesy of one of Steve's clients), with cash buffers, diversification, stress testing and plans A through F.
• Why obsessing over forecasts and spreadsheets doesn't change the universe, and where that energy is better spent.
• How OCD, eating disorders and addictions can begin as attempts to feel in control before quietly taking control of the person instead.
• Practical ways to train your brain to sit with uncertainty: keep some routines to lower your mental load, then deliberately push your comfort zone in small ways like changing your route to work.
• A few tangents along the way, including Santorini photoshoots, a German sun-bed lawsuit, galloping horses in Morocco and whether tea is due a comeback.
• The closing reminder: "Ships are safe in the harbour, but that's not what ships are for."

Key takeaway:

The only real certainty is change, and trying to engineer guaranteed outcomes tends to cost you twice: once in the price you pay for the guarantee, and again in the smaller, duller life you have to live to keep things predictable. The healthier move is to control what's worth controlling (your coffee, your keys, how you load the dishwasher), then build enough flexibility into your financial plan, your mindset and your week that you can ride the wobbles instead of trying to flatten them. Plans A, B, C, D, E and F. A bit of jelly wobble is what makes the whole thing worth eating.