The Fear of Being Seen: Why Your Nervous System Was Wired to Hide

This week's Healing Her Story episode steps into one of the most charged threads of Leo season.

Being seen.

Not just on a stage or in a spotlight. But in the everyday moments where we hold back our opinions, our photos, our ideas, our truest selves.

But this carries profound wisdom about why so many women find it so hard to show up and what the research actually says about it.

In this solo episode, Riva opens with data that stops you in your tracks. Forty four percent of women report fear of public speaking. Fifty nine percent say fear of online backlash makes them less likely to share their opinions. Fifty four percent are less likely to share photos of themselves online.

Over half of women are hiding. And it is not a mindset problem.

Riva explores the evolutionary and biological roots of this fear, including why the same brain regions that activate during physical pain also light up during social rejection. She unpacks why the nervous system was literally designed to keep us hidden, and why that once kept us alive.

She covers:

The statistics on women and visibility and why the gap between men and women is significant

Why being seen triggers a survival response rooted in the oldest parts of the nervous system

Polyvagal theory and why women freeze, fawn, or go quiet in the exact moment they are invited to show up

Imposter syndrome and why it shows up more in women than in men

Riva's personal journey with being seen from performance art and numbing, to studio art critiques and wearing a menstrual cycle dress in front of her class

Three practical tools to begin building capacity for the discomfort of visibility

This episode is not about pushing through the fear. It is about understanding where it lives in your body and slowly, gently learning to stay with it.

Resources to Support You This Week:🌹🤲🏼 

• Somatic Meditation for Feeling More Confident
• What is Somatic Breathwork?

Sources:

1. Public Speaking Statistics — Teleprompter.com — public speaking anxiety gender gap (44% women vs. 37% men), sourced from NIH data
2. 30+ Revealing Fear of Public Speaking Statistics — Crown Counseling — glossophobia/specific phobia rates by gender (12.2% women vs. 5.8% men)
3. Gendered Inequalities in Online Harms: Fear, Safety Work, and Online Participation — ScienceDirect — online expression gap (23% of women vs. 40% of men comfortable expressing political views online)
4. Gendered Inequalities in Online Harms (preprint) — arXiv — fear of backlash reducing sharing (59% less likely to share opinions, 54% less likely to share photos); origins of that fear (37% of women cite a female friend's experience)
5. Nearly Half of Gen Z and Millennial Women Fear Being Judged — Principal Foundation via PR Newswire — fear of judgment silencing disclosure (45% of women vs. 33% of men)

Our intro and outro song, Reclamation (Reborn), is an anthem of remembering.

This song was created as a companion for the healing journey, especially for women reclaiming their voices, their rhythms, and their belonging in a world shaped by patriarchy.

You’re invited to listen, feel, and let the music meet you wherever you are.

Looking for support? Here's how to go deeper:

• Book a Somatic Assessment: Your 75-min 1:1 virtual session to explore what your body is holding and shape a personalized care plan. Book Here
• Free Trauma Recovery Mini-Course: A self-guided intro to trauma recovery and nervous system care. Download Here
• 1:1 and Group Support: Virtual and in-person offerings. Learn More
• Meditations on Insight Timer: Guided practices for nervous system regulation. Listen Here
• Watch Reclamation: A music video and expressive arts project. Watch Here

Follow on Instagram: @healingherstorypodcast

Subscribe so you never miss an episode. Email riva@windsofchangesac.com or DM @healingherstorypodcast on Instagram.