The Visibility Block: Why We Hide (Even When We Want to Be Seen), How to Heal the Fear of Being Seen

In today’s Miles to Zen episode, I welcome back hypnotherapist, RTT practitioner, life coach, yoga teacher, and wonderful human being, Monika Tschuggnall.

Monika returns to talk about the deep work of authenticity, why so many of us fear being seen, and how subconscious patterns like “I’m not enough” quietly shape our lives, from our confidence as creators to how we show up in relationships.

We also share the story of the session we did together:

• what happened in the hypnotherapy
• the emotional layers that surfaced
• how the “charge” around old memories dissolved
• and the shifts that happened immediately afterward

This episode is for you if you’re:

• putting yourself out there creatively or professionally
• feeling blocked by perfectionism, comparison, or visibility fears
• tired of endless self-improvement cycles
• ready to live more authentically, without the masks
• curious about subconscious work, hypnotherapy, or Rapid Transformational Therapy

Monika’s core message: You don’t need to wait until you’re “fixed.” You are ready now.

This conversation is raw, warm, honest, and a powerful reminder that so many of us share the same human fears. And also that freedom is closer than we think.

Show notes:

00:00 Welcome and Introduction

01:33 Monica's Journey and Authentic Living

04:59 The Trap of Constant Self-Improvement

07:56 Common Issues and Client Experiences

10:41 The Fear of Visibility

15:31 Monica's Personal Experience with Fear

17:45 Starting the Journey to Overcome Fear

22:41 Hypnotherapy Session Insights

26:18 Emotional Healing Through Childhood Memories

27:16 Understanding and Disassociating from Childhood Beliefs

29:11 The Impact of Suppressed Emotions

33:14 Integration and Creativity Boost

34:20 Balancing Creativity and Structure

36:41 The Non-Linear Path of Healing

39:06 Overcoming Comparison and Embracing Self

41:59 The Importance of Visibility and Authenticity

44:54 Final Thoughts and Gratitude

Connect with Monika Tschuggnall:

 https://lifelift.coach/ 

Instagram: /monikatschuggnall

Thank you so much for listening! Please Subscribe/ Follow, Like and Share!
For additional content follow me on:

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@milestozen

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/milestozen
See you next week!

Transcript

Hello everyone. Welcome to the Miles to Zen podcast Today I am so excited to have a returning guest, Monica Tschuggnall. Monica was on, , earlier this year, and if you haven't had a chance to listen to that episode, really I would encourage you to go back and listen.

It is just so filled with her beautiful journey, some wonderful wisdom that she shares with us. And it'll just help you, to get to know her a little bit better. I'll put a link in the show notes. And an introduction for Monica, for those of you who don't know from the last podcast, she is a hypnotherapist, an RTT therapist, a therapeutic life coach, a yoga teacher, also

a mom, a wife, and she, really works in a holistic way to deeply help people uncover their subconscious patterns that create  stress, anxiety, fear, self-doubt. We've done some work together since the last session, and so we'll dive into that today. And her work is this, um, I don't want to say magical 

But it's magical and what uncovers when you do the work with her, and she helps you show up as your true, authentic self in all areas of your life. So welcome, Monica. I'm so thrilled to have you back on the podcast. Oh, thank you, Shannon. I'm so happy to be back. Thank you for 

having me. for those of you who I, I mentioned, if you haven't listened to that podcast before, listen to it. It's so interesting to see Monica's journey and when we talked last, she was in Mallorca and now she's moved to Portugal for, for, I don't know, what, six months or something.

You're going to be there. Yes. and then back to Spain. And what I love about Monica is she is living an authentic life and really just such a, a beautiful existence. So, Monica, do you have anything to add to your introduction or maybe situate us where you are now and what you're focusing on?

Oh, well thank you for introducing me so beautifully. And, well, I think you said most of it. And, um, yes, now I am living a life, which I'm very grateful for and I think, or I'm practicing to be also authentic and to live an authentic life. But it has not always been like that. So it's, it was a journey and sometimes it is, you know, we, it's always a work in progress.

But I'm very grateful, um, that a finally arrived here. And I don't mean a place as you know, as you know from the last podcast, but like, see myself like showing up as. Who I really am without having the masks. I mean, it happens, you know, sometimes we slip back into these old patterns, but I would say, I try every day to show up as me.

And that was definitely not the case for many, many years. And it was a healing journey to come there. I was a people pleaser. I was, so much in wearing my masks that I didn't know who I was at a point of my life. And, yeah, like I shared in my last podcast, and autoimmune disease came up and I was very unhappy.

I struggled also with anxiety and. It was a journey to come back, but because of the work I did in also holistic, level, like working with the body, doing yoga, working with the conscious mind, working with the subconscious mind, and peeling all these layers apart, I finally found out that I can only be fulfilled when I live my life and this is what I'm now very passionate about.

To help my clients to also find out, not only find out, but also to learn how to come back to themselves. Yeah. How to be seen as who they really are, their authentic version. It doesn't matter if this is in relationships or in their business life or with with their kids, any relationships or with themselves and, yeah.

And I think that's, it's so important and also to realize that it's not necessarily a destination, that it's just maybe just a few layers below that you just need to remove so you can see properly and you can see that beautiful soul that's that's in there waiting to come out.

And, that often I think, and I think we talked about this before, is that we can get caught in needing to constantly improve and it's a bit of a trap. And I know we talked about this the other daywhat are your thoughts on that?

O

 Yeah. Um, so we talked a little bit about this also in the last episode, but, to take it was at the end, so a little bit, to continue there, there is a trap when we think, well, I want to go out there, I want to share my message, but first I have to, you know, deal with all my, you know.

Traumas and, and I have to make this therapy and then I have to do this self work, and then I have to do this and that. And that's a trap because it never ends. So we want to go out there and be seen and share our message and do our passion work. But then whenever I have, you know, finished this [00:06:00] therapy, worked on that thing, and this then never comes.

So what I always say to my clients, and it was also something I had to learn. It's just like this, then I will, it never comes now you are ready now. Exactly. Now. And it'll always feel scary at the moment when, , we do something new. That's how our brain works. It'll, automatically. Bring us back and say, no, no, no.

New is dangerous. Yeah, but that's just our survival. Instinct and, we don't want to let this part rule our lives. It'll always feel a little bit scary. But if we wait until it feels good, and if we wait until we don't have any trauma or anything in us that we don't have to work on, then this will never happen.

So I always say, you are ready nowwhen, you know there is a time when we work deep, there is a time when we go to the root cause of why are we afraid? And I work with so many people in so many different fields of this fear of being seen.

This fear of visibility is fear of visibility as doesn't have to be like sharing on social media or going out and, share their message on a broad audience. It can also be the fear of being seen in a relationship, in an intimate relationship. Yes. Or when you go out dating the fear of being seen, even if you kids, the fear of being seen from the neighbors, from whoever.

Your boss, your coworkers. That is, that is so good. I definitely want us to come back to that because I think that is going to be the majority of our podcast because I really want to share with people the work that we did together and how impactful that was, and it was all around this being seen. But before I, before we jump into that, I thought it'd be  nice to just understand like, what are the kind of things that you are seeing out there right now, like with people are, what people are coming to you for.

What, when, when you look out in the world today, what are some of those common things that you're seeing? Well, there are many different symptoms people come to me with. Like for example, anxiety. And this can be from overthinking and, um, you know, stress all the way to, compulsive behavior, panic attacks, and everything in between.

And then I see people coming to me. Like they really are passionate about their work as a coach or a therapist or teacher, but they are somehow on the break and they, are in patterns and, and, um, always sabotaging themselves. And then I see people, um. Withmany different kinds of fear of public speaking, fear of visibility.

Like we, we worked also like so many expressions, but what I see is what they all have together in one way or the other. They feel the way I am is not enough, right? Like I, I'm not enough, I'm not enough. I have to do better. Then there comes perfectionism. And because I am how I am and I'm not the other person, then there comes comparison into it.

I cannot share what I have. And also because I am who I am and I try so hard to do better. There is so much stress. And then there comes the anxiety, and then this part takes, you know, takes over. And we come all the time in these thinking, loops. From this stress, it goes into, oh my God, I haven't done anything.

Now how do I earn money? And then it's already, I don't know, five months, six months, three years and I haven't done this. And then it comes anxiety and it comes even more anxiety. And even when there is like a big trauma involved, often what I see is something happened to them, the traumatic experience, and then they start a trauma within themselves, and then they think it happened because they are wrong.

They did something wrong, right? So they, again, it is because of me, because I did something wrong, because I'm wrong because I'm too small or too whatever. Not beautiful enough. Not that enough. Not this enough. That's because I have to deal with it now. So the common theme is always I'm not enough. Right?

Yeah. And that's so true and I don't, it seems to be such an affliction for being a human. And I think that there's not that many people that actually manage to escape that. And I, I think, you know, part of it is, well a lot of it is media, certainly for many people. 'cause we get, we get shown this image of, of what enough looks like and realize, well, I can't

relate with that image that I'm seeing. So I'm less than, and, and just thinking out loud

I am just wondering about those people who truly feel they are enough. Like who are they? Like maybe the Dalai Lama. I'm sure Gandhi had his doubts. Absolutely. And I think this is very important to understand. We are human, so that means, 

 like I said before, that. The journey of growing never ends. Yeah. I mean, everyone has their belief, but I do believe that we are here in order to learn something, our lessons, our unique lessons who are there.

So, I mean, maybe there is a person who feels always enough and good. I've never met this person, so I think it's always a work in progress and and evolving. But that's the game. That's the game we chose. Yeah. It's just like, okay, now I have liberated myself from another layer that was covering my light, and then there's another layer and then I shine a little bit brighter, and then I shine a little bit brighter, you know?

But then there are some days when we are tired, for example. And we fall back into these old patterns and you're like, okay, now I was comparing myself again. I was beating myself up again. I was very nasty to this person. Well we are human. OkayThat's, that's okay. That's what happened. It happened to become change.

Now how can I do it better the next time? And, and that's the thing. I think we all have to work towards it, but even if we can't understand it always, like if we just trust in the knowing that we are enough, then we, we can learn it and we can come closer to that. And of course there, there are many layers to work on it.

First there is distrust, but if there is something deeper, we can work on a subconscious level on that, then we can, you know, practice. Okay. How, how do we, how, what does a person do? Who feels enough? You can just, you know, mimic, oh, that's such a good exercise. I, I, I do this sometimes with my son of, what does a really successful volleyball player look like?

What do they do not look like physically? What are their actions throughout the day 

So I wanted to share with our listeners today. This work that you do and just dive into this example of the work that we did together and maybe bring people back to that day where I was, talking to you and I was talking to you about. You know, the podcast and what I'd learned in the podcast and I'd heard that you will never be successful if you're scared to be seen.

And this may be, surprising to people. 'cause I'm out there, I'm doing videos . I'd done presentations and stuff at work and I was in visible jobs before where I had to be seen. But, um, I realized that I was having a challenge. I was scared to be [00:15:00] seen and it was okay if I was doing a chat, like we're having right now, an interview.

Even then, it was like a little bit cringey. I've, written an article on LinkedIn about cringe mountain. But then I wouldn't go on camera for my solo podcasts. And so you said, oh, I can help you with that. So when you are saying you can help me with that, what's going on in your mind?

What are you, Monica, with all your tools in your toolkit thinking at that point? Well, first of all, I think the first thought always is I know how it feels. I've been there and I went this journey, you know, I was there, I was like so many years, even decades. I was dreaming of, you know, having my YouTube channel and, and, and teaching or coaching people and I was not, I didn't even dare to dream of that.

But then I, I came closer to, to this dream and I still, I, I didn't do it. And then I started doing my first yoga videos. And it took me, I think a week for one video, like to edit it and to, to, to set up because it had to be perfect. And then later I wanted to do coaching videos, and I recorded some coaching sessions.

Then there was the point and I was like, okay, now I have to speak to the camera. Just, you know, me and the camera just talking on what I really want to do. And it exactly, it was that feeling. And then I was like, again, working on different levels, like understanding, okay, there is fear. Fear, there are many faces of fear.

First of all, fear is okay, it wants to help us. Yeah, it's not our enemy. But then I also realized, well, there is a pattern, so I'm always coming to a certain point, but then I don't go the last 10%. I'm just going back and doing it over and over again. So what I did then is have a tape of the subconscious and.

Work. Then also with the conscious on all the levels. And then finally I could do it, and now I have a YouTube channel and I'm speaking into the camera and, um, well, some days it's going better, some days, you know, we are just humans, but, but. I could liberate myself from this fear of holding back. And then at the same time, this fear of visibility and at the same time, this big desire to be seen.

So this pose, and I could see this also in you, and I could, I can see this in so many people who come to me. That's why I'm like, yeah, I walked this path. I can show you how to do it.

So why don't we walk through then what you do to get to the bottom of it. And I'll insert, my story and you can insert what you remember.

So can I take you as an example, like when I Yeah yeah, of course.. Okay. So yeah, you came to me and, and I knew. That, you wanted to go out there, you wanted to share in so many different ways, but there was like, oh my God, this fear. So how we went through it, and in general, I mean, it's with every client, obviously different because everyone is unique and so I tailor everything on that, but.

The frame is more or less the same. All the tools I have or my experience I share. Mm-hmm. So it's the same, but what, what we did is like you came to me and then first we were just exploring, okay, what's there? What does it mean? What's that fear of visibility? Where does it show up and, and how does it express yourself?

What are the triggers? What are the symptoms? What are the habits that you're doing? So we're looking at that and a little bit behind, because often when we talk. We already censor ourselves. So when we say something, we try to hold back because we are even ashamed of that because this, oh my God, if someone knows that, that I'm afraid of that.

So in a coaching session, it allows me, , to really observe. And the look also in between the lines, people are telling me, and this is what, how we started. So we were just like investigating what's there. What comes where, where are you? Yeah. So more making an inventory. Yeah. And I think what's so helpful there is I know we all, all want to be unique individuals and we all are, but there is some common things across being human and this is one of them.

And I think, you know, if I have anyone that I used to work with, 'cause I would get up and I'd have to make presentations . And it is different when you're doing something on behalf of a company or behalf of something that's not yours, no matter how much you value it, and no matter how much it resonates with you.

It is a different can of worms when it's your own thing that you are bringing into the world, your own creation. And I see this a lot with artists and I've seen this in my various art journey as well. Um, and whether that be through photography or, , painting or writing, it is different, and I would say it's harder to put yourself out there when it's your creations or your authentic self.

It's something that you have to move through. Hmm. Absolutely. And yeah, like you said, like when we are doing it for a company or something, it's somehow we are hiding behind them. But it's their stuff and I'm just doing the presentation. But when it's ours, we are very vulnerable.

Yeah. We are showing. Well, that's, that's my creative work. That's my heart, that's my passion. Well, I'm not saying that that other stuff is easy 'cause it isn't. . And there's other stuff going on there. And that's the wanting to be a people pleaser and looking for perfection and all these other things.

And, and this to me was different things coming up. And you know, what was really amazing was, we booked our first session and I think we talked maybe a little bit before, or I'd filled in some of the stuff online that you'd asked me to do. But by the time we booked our first section, I knew that I was working through this.

And so I started to do the things that people who are seeing do. And that was the day that I posted my very first, um, solo session on YouTube. Where I didn't just have audio on YouTube it was a video, and that was our first day. And because of that momentum was created. Mm. Yeah. And that was before we really dug into anything.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, the moment we start, bringing this ball into rolling. Yeah. Something happens, you know? Yeah. And, [00:22:00] and we even, even if we just focus our energy on that, like, okay, this is now real. I'm going out there now, I'm working on that.

That's sometimes already moves a lot. Yeah. Because, yeah. We are focused on that. And I remember, and then we had phone calls before and then also you did, the journaling work and stuff. And sometimes even that's enough. But sometimes there are more layers or deeper layers. Like buried into the, in the subconscious, which we are inclined to

so we have to bring them up into the, onto the surface. Like, like we did then in the, in the hypnosis session and in some, yeah. And, um, and can we get into that hypnosis session? Absolutely. Okay. So, so when we did that, I've gotta say. You know, I've done, I've done a bit of the work. I've done a little bit of the work.

If you've listened to this podcast, you know that, I love exploring this and I [00:23:00] love exploring how we can, just show up as more comfortable people and happier people. And when we are living in our joy and living in our authentic self, we are ultimately of service and on purpose in our lives.

And when you aren't, when you're hiding behind these various layers, or if the life trains hit quite a few times or even once you have. Things that you need to process, and that's sort of blocking you from showing up in the world in the way you want. And also you get to a point where you're like, I'm done.

I'm done with holding onto any of this crap that's slowing me down in my life. So I've done some, some various therapies in the past and what's interesting, you know, we talked about it last time, was you don't want somebody in therapy like over and over again with you for years. You want to take what's going on and bring it to the light of day and be able to move on.

So maybe before I launch into that hypnotherapy experience, do you want to add anything to that? Yeah. Um, exactly. So this is my, my work or my approach is very solution oriented and I don't want to make anyone dependent on me so that we see each other for years every week and we talk about what could be, I want, my goal is that my clients don't need me anymore.

And I'm always happy to hear from them and they do. And sometimes say, you know, send me messages and, that's lovely, but I don't want them to, to need me and to not be able to, to go out there alone. So that means I want them to be equipped with whatever comes up, they have a solution for it and they can work through it and they know I'm capable of that.

Whatever comes up. That in the fastest time possible. It doesn't mean it happens overnight. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, it's a process and I would say it is fairly rapid. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so one thing that was shocking to me was, so we went into this hypnosis and I had a number of sort of age points that I went back to and experiences that I went back to.

And at the time going through them like I, 'cause you're, you're present. You're not, you're not doing this kind of hypnotherapy where Monica is making you like. You know, sound like a chicken. You are, you are present and you're part of, you're part of what's going on. So, um, if somebody was to interrupt me, you know, it wouldn't be ideal, but it wouldn't be like I was not there.

So that is, that's pretty comforting as well to know that, you're not [00:26:00] doing that kind of hypnotherapy where you could make me do something I didn't want to do. So we dove into this, um, this, like, these experiences and I was really feeling them like I felt them at the time. And so it was emotionally

it was hard and, you know, upsetting and all the things because, you know, one of them, I think I was a, like my 6-year-old self, or 5-year-old self. And so I was experiencing, , through her, this, this scene and, and then, I was talking about it to somebody later. I think to my husband, I was telling him about this scene that came up and how I was so upset about this and that, and all of a sudden I couldn't remember what I'd been so upset about.

You know, it just didn't make sense anymore. I still had the exact same scene in my head of what happened, but now I wasn't upset about it anymore. It was like the emotional charge had been removed and, that was such a cool experience. is that kind of what happens for most people or?

Yeah, I, I, that's so great that you bring this up because what happens is we go back to these scenes from childhood, and then Yes, the emotions come up. The emotions that. Have been suppressed for so many years, decades, and then they come up and we feel them. But the good thing we don't stop there. It would be horrible.

We, we then disassociate and then so, and then you see yourself, you see this scene from the outside also, but as an adult, as you are, then suddenly you see, well. Actually, I was not that child. What I thought that I make everything wrong or, or whatever it is, or whoever, whatever we, we told ourself, the belief we made then ruling our life.

It's just like we disassociate and we see the difference and then we suddenly understand, well, that was a misunderstanding and only because I couldn't do this when I was five years old doesn't mean that I'm dumb. Hmm. Only because another example, I spoke in front of the class and everyone was laughing.

Doesn't mean that what I have to say is ridiculous. It's just like I thought that's the reality. I thought that's that true as a child because that's what kids do. But that's the point of going back there and looking at it also from an adult perspective. It's just like now we understand well. Actually speaking up in front of the class, it's very brave and that's not dumb and what you have to say, it's good, but maybe they didn't understand Actually building something really creative and you know, adults making fun of it, it doesn't mean that you did something dumb or you are dumb.

It's just they didn't get it. Maybe. But it just, you know, and then, you know, we take out the charge, but first it's very important what we did. Also, we need to feel it. We can only heal what we feel. So yes, it's not pleasant to tap into that, but we do it in a very safe way. That's why it's guided. But it's necessary to let the emotions come up and then let them go.

That's the important part. Let them go and disassociate and understand. Well, now this all was a misunderstanding, actually. The belief I'm not enough, which is basically coming up everywhere with everyone was a misunderstanding. And this misunderstanding was ruling my life. Yeah. And it was a misunderstanding from you, right?

It's not that you were misunderstood from [00:30:00] anybody else, it's that misunderstanding that you had with yourself, exactly. That's the belief you made. Well, I, I'm dumb. I'm not smart enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not whatever enough. And that becomes to perspective. Like the perception, how you see it and the world.

And also it's like glasses you wear or filter through, which you see the world. Yeah. Every experience is filtered through that. I'm not enough. Yeah. And you know what I found until you remove it. Yeah. What I found was really interesting 'cause I thought I thought that maybe I would have some stuff that was like, that I didn't even remember and it would come up in hypnotherapy.

And I was a little bit nervous about that. And, and I said to you, I thought that it was going to be like much bigger. Like these examples they were upsetting, but I thought that they'd be bigger and you had said it didn't really matter. Do you want to talk about that?

Yeah, it, it's interesting. Yeah. This is what, uh, I mean, it happens sometimes that people go back to experiences that they have had suppressed. Mm-hmm. That they were not, you know, they couldn't remember consciously or not all of it. But. Often, and this is, you know, very common that you, you know, hear people talking about the trauma with the big T, the trauma with the small t, like, um, the big trauma is would be an abuse or, or you know, rape or something like that, or parents die or whatever it is.

And the little trauma or it's also feels same traumatic for a child is something, it can be a normal a normal experience, like mom goes to work, but the 3-year-old doesn't understand that. Mm-hmm. Or the two year, or the 1-year-old, but this baby understands is likemom leaves me. Yeah. And that's, uh, Gabor Mate yeah.

I'm 

video1456916980: not 

audio1456916980: lovable. Yeah. Both, like sadly, there happens things to kids, which, which are very bad. Like, like and abuse of course this creates a trauma in the body, but then there's also like the trauma with the small T. It's like when kids feel that it's not about the experience, it's about the meaning we give the experience and this, this is seen also in siblings like, I mean, they're me also, I have three siblings and we are all

developed so differently because we all had different experiences and so when there are siblings and mom goes to work, maybe the one child is thinks like, mom left me because she doesn't love me, and the other one thinks like, well, that's great. Now I can watch tv. So, and also it's obviously also the age, but, but however they interpret the experience is very important and it, yeah, so that's basically, yeah.

, then we did some integration work after that., and so things just kept trucking, so from that work with Monica. I mean, I did this whole like, creativity series and it really like supercharged, um, some work, some work on writing and some work on, um, on, on the podcast as well.

And it was really funny. Something else that you brought up. And I actually did a podcast on it because it was just. The visual was so impactful for me was I was talking about all my ideas and I had all this stuff coming up, especially after doing that work, then it was like, it freed me even more to be thinking, um, to have all this creativity be bubbling up to the surface.

and  I said I was just kind of struggling with. With that, um, and bringing that out into the world. And you said something about water needs a container, and, and that was just like, that was just the best piece of advice ever. Oh, I remember. Yes, yes., I see this so often in people, and again, also in me like.

Sometimes, especially with creative people, but especially with women, there is this feminine and the masculine part and the feminine part it's the one that's just present and the creative part and it, it grows. And the evolve and the masculine part is the one that's the structured the goal, the, , pushing.

And I see in many women that there is a dis balance. And many women, especially the ones who were forced to be very masculine in, you know, some time of their life. Then they come back and then they go back to the other side of the, that's big. And they're like, yeah, well, yeah. Like, like so many. And, um, it's just like, no, I don't want to have any structure anymore.

, I overdid it. I'm now, I'm so happy that I come back to my feminine power, to my creativity. So don't talk about. Structure anymore. And that's understandable, and that's a process. But then one time we have to come back to the balance. Yeah. Because we need the structure. And there it is. The metaphor I used, it's just like when there is water alone, like the creative, the flow, and it is there, but how can you make use of it without a container?

Yeah. Yeah. How can you, how can you. Take it and And bring it somewhere. Deliver it. Yeah. If you need a container. Yes. So I, I containerized that in a podcast called, um, the Unbalanced Libra, [00:36:00] the Yin and Yang of a Recovering Creative. So for anyone listening that was, you know, inspired from Monica's wisdom, which was so great and timely and, um, it's so, you know, I wanted to talk as well about, so you do the work.

You'll see this with, um, you'll see this with people, anybody who's trying to improve and, um, and you're, you're doing the work and then all of a sudden you are, feels like you've fallen backwards. And I'm sure that's when you get calls from your clients and they're like, what happened? Things were going so well now I feel like, you know, this isn't working.

And can you have, um, a story that you can share about that and then, and then we can even share some of the stories that we've talked about? Yeah, absolutely. Well, um, first of all, healing is not, it is not linear. And it's always goes like that, like life happens in phases and it's always, it's going up and down and up and down.

But I mean, I do see. So many successes. Beautiful. And you also, I mean, you go out there, you shine, you do your creative [00:37:00] stuff, and it's like amazing. Um, but we all are humans still, and healing is not done. You know, we, we did the work and now I'm done. So that's it. It's not like learning to ride a bike and then, then you have it, you don't have, you know, to put effort into it anymore.

It's just like. We are evolving. So that's the first part. And we are growing and there will come challenges. And that's the, and that's the only way we can even grow more and learn more with the challenges. And then the other thing, it's also, remember when we were talking also that, um, you were telling me about a day didn't Yeah.

When so well it didn't go so well and you, you were like, yeah, I dunno. And then I fell back to this and I observed myself thinking that way. And then you also shared that you were very tired. Yeah. And that's also something that we have to understand, first of [00:38:00] all, to learn to be gentle and kind to ourselves.

And then we are, we have days when we are just tired. And when we did a lot of work and they, you know, we, we now found our new way of operating and we expressing ourselves and we are healed in many layers. But when we are tired, what happens sometimes is did we f fall a little bit back? Or it's like our brain is not fully working.

Like when we are super on spot, you know, and awake and it's almost like the guard. Sleeping a little bit. The guard who, you know, we worked with a lot of these demons that were holding you back. Yeah. And when you are tired, then these guards that are taken care, that these demons don't come back. They're a little bit tired also.

So maybe they're asleep and then one of these demon can sneak in and tell you all these old stories. But that's okay. Yeah. You just have [00:39:00] to know it's, it's okay. It's okay. Sometimes this happens. Then just next day it'll be a better day. Yeah. And those demons, you know, they have names that from, like, some of them are called comparison.

Absolutely. Some have been called, um, not their, or not as far as I could be. Not as, yeah, not as, fill in the blank as I should be. Could be. And, and my one that really, that got me was that, was that comparison demon. And I've talked about this before on, on the podcast about, you know, comparison is, is really the root of all evil.

And when I stepped back, I realized the person who I was comparing myself to when I put myself in their life, what I perceived as their life or their career, I was like, oh, no, that, that doesn't feel free to me. I don't actually want that. But there I was [00:40:00] comparing myself and, and as Monica said, the guard was asleep.

I was tired. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, no, no. This comparison is a big thing and, and I mean, we all do, and now in these days we get drained to compare ourselves. Yeah. And, and it's, it's so easy. We fall into that, but we have to understand what we do and we compare ourselves with other people. It's very cruel because we always take

the best part of the other person and comparing it with our worst part. Mm-hmm. So like for example, taking their wedding picture and comparing it with us, looking in the mirror and we are sick at six in the morning and, and then we think, oh my God, I'm so ugly. Look at me. And she's so pretty. But that's what we do and that's so unfair.

That's so cruel. But then what you did is so, it's so wise. It's so amazing because when we then don't stop here, but we really go, okay, you, you want to be like her really? Okay then. Then [00:41:00] really try it on. Try on her shoes. You want to have this life. I mean, okay, there is the wedding picture, but now what else is she doing?

Well, she's living there, she's staying there. She has this husband, this family, this story. Do you really want to change? And then we find out, well that was maybe. A little snapshot out of her life, which seems so beautiful and perfect because that's what social media is for. We, I mean, we rarely post, or people usually rarely post something when they feel awful.

Yeah. I mean, but

when we then think through it like you did, it's like, actually no. I don't want to be this person. It's just like, no, I, I mean, I, I'm happy with, with my life, my family, my son, my husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My decisions, what I'm, what I'm going for. Anyway, that, so that's such a good reminder. Um. Now, is there anything that, that we're missing about that experience that I had with you that would be helpful for someone else?

Well, I also think, you shared it beautifully and I also want to take this time to really say  also how beautiful it was to see your growth and your transformation. Like I remember when you came to me and you really wanted to go out there and do the next step, but you, you were just like feeling so stuck.

Yeah. And fearful of being seen of who you really are , and then  seeing this transformation over time. And then now. Some months later, it's just like, wow, you're just there. You're just doing your stuff. You are out there. And something that came to my mind, and I might now not say the right word, as beautiful as you did, it's just like, I remember you came to me in one of our coaching sessions at the end, , and then you said something like, well, I realized this fear of visibility, like I was afraid

how other people could see me as my true self. But now I realized this fear of visibility or this visibility is about me giving myself permission to be who I am and to see myself as who I am. And now finally, I can look into the mirror and I just see who I am and I like it. That's who I am, and that is reflected now by the world because now I'm not afraid.

Now I don't have to hide anymore because I was actually afraid of seeing myself. That's who I am, and nowI'm at peace with that, and that's why I'm not afraid of being seen from anyone else anymore. So that was very beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. That's the, that's the work, my friends. That's the work and, like Monica said, it's, you know, those are just, those are layers and other things are gonna come up on our human journey.

And I am, uh, nowhere near done. I'm sure, because also we then we'll experience new things and, and new things will, will bring areas up that we can grow. And, , we may not, you know, fall in that same,  trap that we'd had before. But as we, as we learn more and as we do more, it's pretty normal for things to, to come up.

I think especially if you are, getting out of your, expanding your comfort zone, which is also a nice, um, nice expression from Monica is expanding your comfort zone, not stepping out of your comfort zone. Mm-hmm. Monica, are there any words of wisdom you would like to share with our audience before we wrap up?

Yeah. Well, what comes to my mind, which, which is very important with this topic of visibility and stuff is like. When we are afraid to be seen, it's always in a way of we are afraid to be seen of who we really are. Yeah. So that's why we put on masks and stuff. But when we say, well, I cannot show up as who I am, so there's shame for who I am, we would rather be this person or this, or just different as who I am.

When we look at that, and I, it doesn't matter if you believe in God or the universe or whatever. When we believe we came here, we are created to do something, then we are created that way for a reason. So there is a reason behind why we have this strengths and this weaknesses and this talents and some other things we have to learn because that's what's we are here for,] to do our purpose.

And if we denied it we deny actually the beauty of creation and we say that's wrong. And then to bring this , in an image also

in the spiritual world, it's always, , we always say about we are all one. And,  I like to see this as a whole picture. Like even as a puzzle picture, you know, it's a puzzle picture of 8 billion puzzle pieces. And you are a puzzle piece. A unique one. I'm a unique puzzle piece and if you try and there is a place for us.

We only you fit in, we're only I fitting. And if you now try to get rid of some edges, because we don't like this edge, we don't drive through like this round, but we want to be like this puzzle piece over there, then there's a gap. And we cannot fulfill our purpose. We cannot fit into our life. So if we try to change to cut off things, then.

Then we are not fulfilling our purpose. So true fulfillment and peace come when we embrace our unique shape. Right. If you want just this little puzzle piece. Oh, that is such a beautiful visual. I love it. Oh, I can picture it and Yeah. And if you're not showing up, , there's a gaping hole in that puzzle.

Yeah. And who's living your life if you don't? Exactly. There's this hole. Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. I love that. Monica, thank you so much. Thank you so much for showing up in the world as you do. 'cause you're helping so many people and, and I really am so grateful for the work that we were able to do] together.

And, , I just think that, it's beautiful what you are bringing out into the world, but also what your facilitating in your clients for them to bring out in the world. And there's that, that statement about we don't know what our impact is, or we can rarely see the impact. And it is so, I think it's so neat for you to be able to see if you've got clients that are visible, you can actually see the impact, which is cool.

Yes. Yes. Well, it's all, I mean, I'm very grateful of the work I'm doing and, like seeing amazing, beautiful people like you just growing and transforming and going them out there and, and seeing the results. It's just like. I don't understand why someone works something different than I do because I love it so much.

It's just like, um, no, I'm very, very happy and grateful for that and, and seeing that. And also I learn with every, every single client, I learn with them, I grow with them. I, I learn as much as they learn from our work together. So I'm very grateful for that. Well, thank you so much, Monica. If you want to get in touch with Monica, I'll put her details in the show notes and that was just a fabulous chat.

I'm so, so pleased that you're in my life and that we can have this great conversation together. Well, thank you so much, Shannon, and I'm also very, very grateful to have you in my life. And as I said, what, what a beautiful transformation. I'm honored that I could witness that and thank you for having me today.

Yeah, thank you. And to everyone listening, I hope you've enjoyed this episode. Please like and subscribe if you haven't done so yet, and I look forward to seeing you next week. Have a great week everyone.