How to use Boredom to Generate Creativity

In this episode we explore the theme of using winter months as an opportunity for self-discovery, particularly in the context of sober curiosity. We discuss the challenges of boredom, the importance of community support, and the role of creativity in navigating sobriety. We emphasize mindfulness, resilience, and the joy found in everyday moments, while encouraging listeners to embrace their journey of self-discovery and acceptance.

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IG: @marademauro
Website: www.marademauro.com

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Website: www.reneeadamscoaching.com

Email us: nosedivethepod@gmail.com

Transcript

Mara DeMauro (00:02)
Hey, super stoked to be here. And today I'm excited because we're going to dive into how to use the winter months as an opportunity for self-discovery, especially if you're on this sober curious journey. And we just went through a, I guess, quote unquote, Arctic blast snowstorm situation here.

Renee Adams (00:03)
Hey!

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

You

Mara DeMauro (00:29)
on the East Coast, I'm in Charleston and you're in Savannah. And these questions of just like, what the heck am I supposed to do with my time? I'm stuck in the house. I'm not kicking back the vino like I used to. And what do I do? So let's dive into this topic.

Renee Adams (00:48)
Boredom.

Yeah, this is such a big topic, I think, too, in general, not only for winter months, as you said, last time we got snow in Savannah was 2018. But not just the winter months, but really when you're getting into sober curiosity and trying to reevaluate your relationship with alcohol in the beginning, boredom is a huge part of that. So kind of using this example of

this winter blast that we got definitely kind of makes that situation a lot more in your face because you're stuck at home kind of hunkered down and you're not trying to drink or use that to kind of fill that void of boredom. And so yeah, we're just going to kind of dive into how we can use these situations to better ourselves instead.

Mara DeMauro (01:42)
Yeah, I love that. And, know, to be totally honest, I guess I would say I'm like, quote unquote sober serious, not just sober curious. And I'm still facing, you know, those challenges of what do I do? I'm so used to being outside and being active and go, go, go. So when it's, when I'm kind of forced to slow down, it's still an opportunity of growth, like no matter where you are on your journey. So this is, if you are looking for some introspection,

Renee Adams (01:53)
Mm.

Mara DeMauro (02:12)
and some thought provoking talking points here, you're in the right place. And I wanted to give a huge shout out to the people that are in the Try Dry January challenge. This month has been really, really cool to have that group discussion. You're part of that too. We have a group chat going. I mean, there's tons of mocktails pouring into that chat.

Renee Adams (02:25)
Woo!

Mara DeMauro (02:40)
ideas of how to not be bored, ideas of how to reflect and play around in this space. And I think what is my absolute favorite part is how supportive everyone is being and how loving it is and how everyone is truly embracing this concept of sober curiosity that is about exploration and not restriction. And that's what's super fun and exciting. What have you thought about it so far?

Renee Adams (03:09)
Yeah, I totally agree. I think to the different facets and ebbs and flows that come with people who are 100 % sober, who've been sober for a long time, who are in these groups, I think the age groups that we have are really interesting, ranging from, know, Gen Z, Millennials and on. But I also think there's this amazing sense of

community that comes with the exploration and with the curiosity. You know, yes, we're having fun, we're getting creative, or we're giving each other tips and tricks and different things to try, which I know can be a little overwhelming at times. But at the same time, not only are we having fun, but we're also able to connect on a deeper level. And I think the honesty that comes from this community as a whole.

you being able to find the space to not only be honest with yourself, but with other people and how many people can relate. How many people in this group chat that are saying, man, I feel the exact same way or hey, this is what I did in this situation to not feel so alone. So I think the whole connection portion of this goes with the same theme that we have that we're talking about today, just that

intentionality of connecting with other people, the introspection, having fun, but also being able to get a little serious, which I know can be super vulnerable.

Mara DeMauro (04:42)
Absolutely. Yeah. I love that, that space. And again, on the, today's topic of using winter as a, like to fuel that self reflection and the opportunity to do that amongst others is such a powerful tool. And, you know, I'm originally from Miami, so I'm like, I am a reptile. belong in the tropics. Like I am mad uncomfortable.

And it's like, Hey, here's the situation. You're iced in, you're snowed in, let's slow down. And so it's kind of nice, you know, it's all about the mindset shifts and that can be hard, but the more we resist what is actually happening, the harder that feels for us. So I've really enjoyed, you know,

Renee Adams (05:23)
It is.

Mara DeMauro (05:41)
using this opportunity to do that.

Renee Adams (05:44)
Absolutely. as a person who, this is my second fully dry January. And like I said, just being a part of this group and then having to be sort of forced into slowing down, I am a very type A workaholic type of person. And so being able to really sit with my thoughts is super uncomfortable.

Mara DeMauro (06:12)
Mm-hmm.

Renee Adams (06:13)
And, being able to share that with other people, I think is just super important. And just finding, like you said, different tips and tricks. And I think too, there does come that overwhelm of feeling like you have to try so many different things, especially when you're kind of locked inside and you're like, okay, here's like a list of all of these different things I can try. I think something that I'm saying out loud, just even for myself,

is being okay with just sticking with one thing. So if that means it is just removing the alcohol and trying mocktails for that period of time, for the entire month. know, getting creative and finding a lot of things is definitely fun because I think when you free up that space, that alcohol usually filled, you have so much more time. But don't feel like you have to do so many things. Sometimes it is just

sitting at home and journaling and that's it. And that's okay too, just to find the one thing. Because I think there's so many different things out there that you can try. It can get a little overwhelming.

Mara DeMauro (07:25)
100%. And, you know, this time of year too, where it's like, okay, new year, new me, like, let's do all this stuff. And that's just not realistic and sustainable. So I always like to suggest, yeah, like you're saying, let's, let's just focus on one tangible thing. And

Renee Adams (07:35)
Yeah.

Yes.

Mara DeMauro (07:47)
Not just throw everything up in the air and make your life super hectic. Like that's not what we need to do. You know, let's keep your nervous system as regulated as possible while going through these transitions. And over time that will continue to grow and focusing, you know, maybe it's like, you want to get into mocktails. You're super great with that stuff. I love learning all the things you're trying, you know, and my thing is like,

Renee Adams (08:10)
Thank you. Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (08:14)
I want to be in the kitchen chopping fruits and making a juice, you know, like it's just, it's finding that one thing that does feel almost like creative to you. And I think that really, that, that also leads me to a topic of creativity and creation in general and how we reserve, we could talk about this in another podcast, like how we reserve creativity to like.

Renee Adams (08:25)
Mm.

Yes.

Mara DeMauro (08:43)
an art form or something that's outside of us that we do, you know, when we are always creating and that can be, we're creating slowness, you know, we're creating a new recipe or whatever that looks like, but focus on one thing and enjoy that and immerse yourself in that moment.

Renee Adams (09:05)
Absolutely. Yeah. And I think for someone like me personally, I look to you because you are what I would call a creative. For me, I would not call myself a creative person because when I think of creative, I think of art and paint and pottery and different avenues that are not my go to, but

Mara DeMauro (09:16)
Yeah.

Renee Adams (09:33)
It's a challenge for me to find things that are creative, but it's also fun. My life used to be, the main point would be the alcohol. It would be like, okay, it's the weekend, what are we doing? When are we going out to dinner? We're foodies, my husband and I are foodies, and we would go out to restaurants and...

and drink and not drink all weekend or anything like that. Nothing crazy. We were way past the bar scene era of our lives. But, you know, opening that space, yeah, saddlebags, Kevin Berry's, RIP, merp. Yeah, we're kind of past that part, but, you know, that's what my weekend was consumed with. And so, and work as well, work, working out and alcohol.

Mara DeMauro (10:07)
bags.

Renee Adams (10:24)
And so once we start kind of removing that and trying to figure out different areas, I'm like, wow, you know, I'm not really a creative person, but I also hadn't given myself the opportunity to see if I actually am. So I think that's the fun part is you could definitely think and have that mindset. Well, I'm not a creative person.

but have you even tried anything? Do you even know what you like? What kind of hobbies you like outside of it? And I think alcohol just kind of takes up so much of that space sometimes. So when we start to reduce it, you really start to see some opportunities where you can be a little more creative and have a little more fun.

Mara DeMauro (11:09)
Yeah, absolutely. And I think, I guess what I'm trying to express is that we are always, we're, we're just creative people inherently. We are always creating, whether your lifestyle is live for the weekends to go out and have your drinks and then go to work for the rest of the week. You're in creation of that lifestyle. And we have the capacity to.

Renee Adams (11:20)
Mm.

Mara DeMauro (11:39)
slow down and self-reflect on, how can I, if I'm not liking this loop, how can I expand this and change my path of creation? And that will bring in new opportunities and new things to try on and to quote unquote create or to get, you know, find more quote unquote creative opportunities. But really I think it's more so just.

Expansion of what creation means, you know.

Renee Adams (12:11)
Well,

and the curiosity, like you said, the whole amazing part of this experience is being curious and having the space to be curious and explore and find that opportunity. know, something that came up for me recently is, especially in the new year, as you were saying, new year, new me, all of that kind of mindset shifts that you try to create.

we create these goals, which I think are super important because I think when we write down the goals and we have this sort of visualization of how we want our lives to be, I think mentally that's something that's very beneficial. However, I think stopping and the slowing down, especially in these winter months, like you said, the introspection part of this process, we forget to...

enjoy the process because that is where all of the learning and the growth and the things that you're seeing on the day-to-day basis that kind of make up that end goal. So being able to slow down and really enjoy your day-to-day activities is something that I have to actively tell myself and remember to do because before you know it, okay, you reach the goal. You're already like, okay, well, what's the next thing? I've reached it. Now what?

Whereas if you maybe slow down a little bit and kind of recognize the growth that you're working towards on a day-to-day basis and having fun on the day-to-day things, makes, I mean, that is your life. You are living your life. so yeah, trying to remind myself to do that is a practice in itself.

Mara DeMauro (13:59)
Totally. It just reminds me, you know, of all these topics that come up of, you know, mindfulness and be present and to, yeah, to like talk about them and intellectualize them and understand them logically is one thing. And then to put it into practice is another thing and to feel it, you know, it's, it's so interesting because

I feel like there's such a fine line in this dance between like wanting, like second guessing myself, am I doing this right? Like, am I feeling this? Am I being present right now? How heady, you know, that can be and how to like connect that head chatter with like your heart knowing and creating that congruency between the two is such a fascinating.

Renee Adams (14:39)
Mmm.

Mara DeMauro (14:59)
experience and, ⁓ phenomena. And I just wonder, you know, there's, there's things that I feel just naturally able to do that in spaces where I feel like I'm able to just really be. And for me, that's like on my surfboard, in the ocean or snorkeling in, you know, on reefs or just being totally immersed in, in nature. That's when I feel most at.

peace, this ease. However, I think it's so important to be able to bring that ease and apply that to other scenarios of my life that don't feel as calming. And maybe it doesn't feel as natural because it's not as natural and that's okay.

Renee Adams (15:31)
Yeah.

Right.

Yeah, for sure. think the whole concept of alignment was something that was very enlightening for me and my own journey because you write down these things, you write down these goals, you're really trying to maneuver and manipulate your mind and your mindset and reframing things to get to where you want to be. But

if you're not being honest with yourself and how you're really feeling in your body and these outside factors, if something feels off, then it's off. Trusting that intuition and trusting that sort of inner knowing or inner nudging and really just being in alignment, that's something that I've really had to focus on, especially during this journey for myself is trusting myself again.

which is really hard because like you said, during this process and your inner knowing of knowing where you feel at peace, I think for a lot of people during this process, we don't even really know what that feels like yet because we've so many times before potentially, at least for my story is I made promises to myself that I did not keep alone when I tried to do this by myself.

And so there's also this not only unlearning, but relearning to trust myself and trust that intuition and trust to know what that alignment feels like. And it takes a little time for that. You know, it's not gonna happen all in a month of doing dry January or two months of removing, reducing, making these habit changes. It's something that's gonna take time and having the patience to do that is again, just really.

a part of the process.

Mara DeMauro (17:46)
I agree with that. It does take time and taking off any pressure or judgment, especially when you're moving through winter months and you want to be outside and you want to play and, warm up and it's super slow and you're, you might be feeling, you know, discomfort. And I was thinking about this before jumping on. was like, you know, discomfort and certain triggers or

Anything that is bringing awareness to how we feel is an opportunity for us to be curious. Okay, what is that presenting me? You know, it's nothing to be afraid of or to push away because whatever we resist, persist. And so how can, you know, find what works for you? Maybe it's getting super cozy in your bed, having

Renee Adams (18:36)
Yeah

Mara DeMauro (18:45)
dimly like a cute little lamp in the corner that gives this super like warm, toasty ambiance, getting a warm cup of tea, a journal, some light music, and just allow yourself to be honest with you and allow yourself to trust that whatever you're writing is your truth in that moment. It's not to say, it's not, you know, it's not to say that this is your truth forever or how you're going to feel forever.

It's just that practice of creating that relationship with yourself. And I think that is so important. this, that's what this whole journey really is about is to come into an inner knowing of who we are. And that is such a huge ripple effect in being more accepting and loving of other people and their journeys. So it's just this really beautiful opportunity to like create.

cohesion and being awake in this time that requires us to be awake.

Renee Adams (19:46)
Yes.

Absolutely. And I think too, with your point of resistance, we want to resist uncomfortable feelings. And we immediately think, what's wrong with me? Why am I this way? Why am I feeling like this? Instead of, like you said, allowing sort of the grace and non-judgment for

you to feel the feels, to feel whatever is happening with no judgment and sort of tap into maybe why you're feeling that way instead of resisting and saying, okay, I've got to do something else to replace what I'm feeling right now instead of just letting it happen and moving through that. Because as you said, you get to know yourself better because when that whatever emotion or whatever that uncomfortable feeling is that comes up,

you're building resilience when you are allowing yourself to feel it. So when it comes up the next time, you can tap in and say, okay, I've definitely had this feeling before. I know what this feels like. It's not gonna be forever. And like I said, you're building this sort of resilience, not so much resistance. And something that I've done, I think,

on a daily basis just to kind of get my head right for the day. Because man, there are some challenges. are daily challenges. There are things that come up as humans. We protect ourselves from pain. And that is what that uncomfortable feeling is. And we want to immediately try to try to protect ourselves from that. So it is just a part of being human. But for me, waking up every day,

And this is a tip, I can't remember which doctor or psychologist it was. So I can't say it's something that I dreamt up on my own. But when I wake up every morning, I put my feet on the ground and I almost see kind of like warm light connecting to sort of this universe and giving sort of a gratitude of, wow, I am here right now in this universe, which is pretty profound if you really take a second to think about it.

feet on the ground, have a smile on, and it really does, it's a little kooky. Like it is a little woo woo and a little kooky I think, but doing that really does change the trajectory of how my morning goes, how my entire day goes. Because you're already setting up your brain to be in a more positive mental state. So that is something that if you are looking to

maybe try something new and get at a better mindset, especially when you are going through this sort of crazy time of feeling all your feelings raw. That is one way that I really do try and get my head right to start my day off.

Mara DeMauro (22:56)
Yeah, that was really beautiful what you said about resiliency versus resistance. And that just really resonates with me because...

Renee Adams (23:03)
Resistance.

Mara DeMauro (23:14)
I just feel like my sober curious journey has given me the most inner strength or has led me to build the most inner strength I have ever had in my entire life. From as long as I can remember, you my ways of coping when I was feeling uncomfortable started at a very, very early age. I mean, we all, we all do this, you know, it's like, I'm uncomfortable. How do I not do this? And mine from a very young age was

just binge eating. How can I take this super uncomfortable emotion and get it away? And just like with everything, you know, sure, it will numb it out for a second, maybe a couple minutes or hours, and then what does it do? It resurfaces and you have to face it again. Okay, so I'm gonna eat more, you know, so just this cycle. And then you grow up and that you start turning to other things that you can use to cope.

Renee Adams (23:45)
Mmm.

Mara DeMauro (24:13)
When you really just trust that you can feel the emotions that we are built to feel, your whole world changes because you have so much more resiliency and capacity to navigate life. And it's a fucking superpower. It really is.

Renee Adams (24:38)
Yeah, it kind of like breaks down that barrier that you kind of put on yourself. I think a lot of the times too, especially right now with this sort of instant gratification and, okay, take this thing overnight and you think that everything is going to be okay. And I think that really does a disservice to yourself.

in trying to figure out what is going to work best for you. I think it really does take away from the process, which is such a beautiful, messy, not perfect process that I think that we kind of take for granted. And I was thinking about that too with being sort of locked in the house for a few days is how much that we take for granted on

are day-to-day things that really do spark joy in my life. Being able to just go outside for a walk without slipping and falling on my ass. Being able to go to the gym every single day when people are like, man, fuck, I gotta go to the gym. had a whole day and da, da, da. No, when you remove that availability, you really start to recognize how much gratitude we really should be.

giving to our day-to-day situation, which I think is awesome.

Mara DeMauro (26:08)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. I was kind of a little bit laughing. What's that? I'm bored in the house and I'm in the house bored. Just popped into my head. That's like how I was this past week. Like, holy cow. All right. But yeah, jumping back to like what you said, you know, and I'm not like picking at you, but more so.

Renee Adams (26:16)
That's boring.

Mara DeMauro (26:33)
It's so interesting how we have somewhere along the way, we learned that putting our feet on the ground and smiling to ourselves and telling ourselves like, wow, I'm so grateful to be here. This is awesome that this is something silly or kooky, right? It's like, where do we accumulate these things where, you know, and that's why I love this journey and.

Renee Adams (26:48)
That's kooky.

Mara DeMauro (26:59)
a friendship like yours where we can talk about these things, like, hold on, wait, let's examine that. Like, that's interesting that somehow we have created that thought about it. You know, it's like, hold up, no, that's awesome. I get to create my reality. I get to put my feet on the ground and fucking sink to the top of my lungs. Like, I'm stoked to be here. And then I have to go into a meeting that I absolutely hate, but like, I'm having a good time. Whatever, you know, like this, like this type of

Renee Adams (27:04)
Yeah.

Yes!

Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (27:28)
creation of our life and how we show up and the energy we put there and smiling at the little moments and having gratitude, this is something beautiful. And to never judge yourself for having those moments because someone next to you might not be doing them. But you know there's magic in that.

Renee Adams (27:53)
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's the other thing too, is through this community and through being able to just be sort of weird is fun. Like I like, I like that about myself and being able to sit here and say that that is something that I like about myself. I don't know if I would have been able to say that this time either last year or the year before that. You know, I think that there's this

Mara DeMauro (28:04)
Yeah.

Renee Adams (28:22)
concept, especially, you know, because I'm still in the corporate realm and there's a certain way that you have to act and there's a certain way that you have to be. And that doesn't mean that you can't have fun. It doesn't mean that you can't be more of yourself. Still be respectful, still be, you know, I think, I guess, what would you call it in terms of society or whatever. But being more of myself and being OK with that.

and being okay with the fact that maybe people are gonna be like, wow, she's a little fucking weird, but I'm fine with that. I'm more confident in feeling like that and not necessarily saying fuck y'all, but fuck you if you don't really, you know, it's fine. It's totally okay. And yeah, I don't know if I really would have been able to feel that confident and courageous. And that again is something that I continue to work on too. And that builds upon.

Mara DeMauro (29:00)
Yeah.

Yeah, it's so funny. I low key get kind of like excited when I see like silly characteristics come out from you. You know, I'm like, ⁓ this is fun because obviously knowing you, you know, 10 years ago and when we were in school together, like you're you're very like determined and structured and disciplined. know, like you have that cadence, but you are also

Renee Adams (29:32)
Yeah, yeah.

Mara DeMauro (29:49)
like silly and funny and goofy. And so it's just really nice to be able to see someone in their entirety and get to know them in those different ways. And it's like, yeah, let's embrace all of us. Let's not like push the weird parts out or the sad parts or the happy parts. It's like, let's take all of the parts and welcome them in and be like, let's go for the ride, you know?

Renee Adams (29:49)
Mm.

Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. And that also reminds me too, like the rawness of everything. It's like, well, one, thank you too. I appreciate that because yeah, I just grew up having to be pretty serious. And I think pushing the fun sort of outrageous sides of myself, I've had to kind of put on the back burner. So it's kind of fun to reintroduce myself to that part of myself again. But there was something that I heard that, you know, an Instagram or whatever it is.

someone saying or asking the question like, what's the hardest drug that you've ever done? And someone said sobriety because it's the rawest part in the, for some people really like the hardest thing that they've ever done and really taking that overhaul of an inventory of yourself and doing that introspection is not easy. It's hard.

to really feel all the feelings and feel raw and feel vulnerable and be in this space. But I think the saving grace is there is a community here that welcomes you open arms, no matter where you are in your journey. Whether you're young, middle-aged, old, have no idea what you're doing, gray area, ex athlete, wherever you are in your journey, there's no box.

that you have to check to be a part of this community.

Mara DeMauro (31:47)
love

that so much. And I also resonate. I remember, I mean, I've said before, like, I've done my fair share of drinking, mind altering drugs, different kinds, and the most trippiest ride I've ever been on has been navigating life sober and single, you know, and just being like, what the heck is happening?

Renee Adams (32:05)
You

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (32:17)
and

from the fire hose and just going with it. And to your point, just how beautiful this community is. People, you do not have to be in a certain box to try this hat on. And that, you know, really leads me to, you know, this question of...

Just like what new thing can you try?

You know, and how, yeah, how, how, what's one thing you can focus on during the winter that is going to just potentially open more doors for you.

Renee Adams (33:03)
Hell yeah. Yeah, and I wanna thank you for creating the Dry January space. I think it's been so fun, connecting with so many people who are on different areas of their journey. And with it wrapping up, I can't believe it's end of January already, which is, woo, it's insane, but we are going into February and...

Mara DeMauro (33:05)
Yeah.

Renee Adams (33:30)
I just want to thank you and appreciate you for the time that you put into creating this space and, you know, wrapping up January and being able to kind of reflect on how far I've come and the challenges and how far that we've come and all the things that we're doing, which I think is just so fun and just remembering to embrace how far that we have come and what we're continuing to do. And into February, if anybody is...

interested. am doing a low and slow February. It's kind of a continuation, my inspiration from Mara and her Try Dry going into February, kind of the same concept of either reducing or removing alcohol for 28 days. We're going to have some virtual meetups and in-person meetup in Savannah if you are local at the end of everything, journal prompts, all the fun stuff, some cool freebies.

and different areas that you can continue this introspection. And even if it's not around alcohol, I think that's another thing about just being curious in this space in general is, yes, we focus on sober curiosity and how we can change our relationship with alcohol. But I think once we do that in parallel, there are different areas that if you are working on reducing screen time or just trying to find new ways to make

connections with other people, this is definitely a good time to do that. So if you're looking to join that challenge, you can go on my website, Coach Renee Adams. I'm have to get this out because that's not what my website is. Renee Adams coaching.com, sign up button there. And yeah, what do you got going on?

Mara DeMauro (35:19)
I love that. And I think it is a great opportunity, you know, with holidays happening and then, you know, January comes up and people are just like, my God, I just need a second to like get a grip. So if you miss the quote unquote dry January. Bus get on the February bus, you know, there there's never right, right or wrong time to try this hat on and get curious about your relationship with booze or any other substance or toxic.

Renee Adams (35:37)
haha

Mara DeMauro (35:47)
⁓ potential toxic habits that you have that are preventing you from doing the things you actually want to do. Just F and do it. And we believe in you. and yeah, that's all from my end right now. You can follow me at Mara DeMaro on Instagram, and we look forward to seeing you next time.

Renee Adams (36:05)
Yes, it

sounds good. See ya.

Mara DeMauro (36:10)
Bye.