How to Travel Soberish

In this conversation, we explore the challenges and strategies of traveling alcohol-free. We share personal experiences, discuss the emotional aspects of navigating social situations without alcohol, and provide practical tips for maintaining mindfulness while traveling. We explain the importance of support systems and preparation, along with the numerous benefits of embracing a sober lifestyle during travel. Enjoy! 

IG: @marademauro
Website: www.marademauro.com

IG: @coach_radams
Website: www.reneeadamscoaching.com

Email us: nosedivethepod@gmail.com

Transcript

Mara DeMauro (00:01)
All right. We are back this week, super stoked to talk about how to travel while remaining alcohol free or cutting back and just being a little bit more mindful about our consumption as we navigate those explorations or journeys or work travels, anything along those lines. This was inspired by my most recent travel back home.

to Miami and then spending a good amount of time with my family in the Florida Keys, which is a huge drinking town, city, and also inspired by Renee's most recent work travels as well. So we're going to dive into how we can go about this while being more mindful. And.

Renee Adams (00:42)
Mmm, yeah.

Mara DeMauro (00:59)
I guess I want to start off with sharing how, you know, this past trip to the keys, which was so nostalgic for me in a sense, because that's where my whole alcohol free journey really started in the first place. I mean, it's been an evolutionary process as it always is for everyone, but it was so cool because I was remitting myself in an old space, but being in a new.

head space sort of thing and heart space. So that was really neat. And gosh, there was, it's just so cool. And we'll definitely dive into this a bit, but you know, like going paddle boarding and spending time on the beach and collecting coconuts and making, you know, ice cream out of coconuts and just spending true quality time where I'm dialed in and present with what's going on and all of the extremely beautiful colors and

Renee Adams (01:30)
For sure.

Mara DeMauro (01:58)
vibrant tropical lush trees and plants and remembering every fucking moment of it.

Renee Adams (02:06)
Yeah, that's the big difference, isn't it? It's like coming into a space completely clear minded just allows you to experience something in an entirely different way. Yeah, yeah. Well, tell us a little bit more about your experience, you know, going into it. I know you had a pretty long drive and there's a lot of stressors that probably trigger a lot of people to kind of want to go for that drink, especially after

Mara DeMauro (02:18)
Yes.

Renee Adams (02:36)
an exhausting travel day or just getting to, like you said, areas where you have old family, old friends, old stomping grounds, where people are used to you as maybe a different person and maybe have different expectations from you. So tell us a little bit about your experience. Yeah, through all that, being alcohol-free.

Mara DeMauro (03:04)
Yeah. It was really fun because I, yeah, this, this, was a whole journey, you know, driving from Charleston down to the Keys. it's just like, woof, it's a lot. And I had my two little dogs with me who kept me company along the ride, but it was a journey. And, you know, I would say it's, it's just cool to see family and

I've had so much more time now that I have given myself the space away from alcohol and other substances that I have been processing my emotions and being able to feel them and understand things from a different perspective. And it was my first time going back home in like two years, you know, so I was really curious how I was going to interact with this space.

And, know, when you go back home, it can just be like, boom, boom, you know, like just trigger after trigger. Yeah. You know, and it's like, holy cow. And I was really quite pleasantly surprised by my ability to just kind of accept, you know, what the situation was and not try to fight back and like push and change people or, you know, just kind of being like, look, I have the only thing I can really change is me.

Renee Adams (04:07)
other things.

Mara DeMauro (04:31)
and how I respond to things and how I process things. And so it was, it was just rewarding to see all of that quote unquote work, you know, really put into action. And it was just, it was just really nice. Like that's it.

Renee Adams (04:52)
Yeah, it's like that

mental space that you may hold the should or shouldn't I when it comes to drinking is gone. It really frees up that space to where you don't even have to really make that decision anymore. It's more about, what am I gonna do today? What are we gonna get into today? Yeah, yeah.

Mara DeMauro (05:17)
Absolutely. Yes.

And I think too, you know, there's definitely was a time, you know, where I'd be like, okay, like, okay, we're to get drinks or, know, whatever. But that wasn't, it's just not at the forefront of my mind anymore. And I know I'm not a unicorn and that's a pretty normal thing that happens as the longer you go.

You know, the easier that becomes. So if you're listening to this and you're like, ⁓ I just went on a trip and I, you know, I didn't feel that like it does get easier and it gets better. It just becomes less and less interesting because it's, you realize it's not the drink that you're seeking. You know, it's actual connection. It's the ability to be present. It's the ability to self-regulate. That's what you're seeking. And you've just used alcohol as a way to do that, you know, temporarily over and over and over again. And.

We just relearn, we just relearn and we get to learn how to do that ourselves and using nature as a tool and remaining curious and playful throughout the process. So I'm just, I'm very grateful and I guess quote unquote satisfied for how, you know, that journey went back home and excited to do it again.

Renee Adams (06:27)
Mmm.

Yeah, it's so exciting because you're finding and relearning ways for that natural happiness, that natural dopamine that we really seek from alcohol. Because I'll tell you, I was the first person to be like, hey, it's mimosas at 11 a.m. at the airport. Let's fucking go. It's time to unwind. It's time. I deserve this in my mindset. That's how I kind of framed

alcohol and travel when really what you're needing is that rest and relaxation and time with yourself and time and nature. There's like a whole long list, not just, okay, I need the alcohol to decompress. And for me, traveling is simultaneous with my job right now. And that can be very triggering. I remember this trip

I say recently, it was probably maybe six months ago now and I had changed suppliers. So I'm meeting new people for the first time in person. still sort of, I would say novice or intermediate in my sober curiousness. So there definitely was some anxiety about going into the situation where I know that there's going to be a supplier dinner.

I know that there's going to be the request to go to bars afterwards because that's how you make deals. That's how you build relationships, I think, in the corporate space, or at least that's sort of this mirage that is pushed on you when you are in the corporate space. And so going into it,

I did have a plan. I also was training for my powerlifting meet. So I feel like that kind of gave me an excuse, which was nice because I didn't have to really explain myself to anybody. But this story sticks with me so much because so we have all of our meetings, we go to that dinner, people are ordering shots, people are ordering drinks and I'm sitting over here like, okay,

Mara DeMauro (08:36)
Hmm

Renee Adams (08:51)
I have this mindset. I've got to get up at five o'clock tomorrow morning, go to the gym. I'm not drinking this trip. I promised myself I am not going to drink. I'm going to utilize the tools, you know, trying to prep myself. And man, it was just all around. And I did get the question like, oh, you don't drink. And I immediately was able to say, yeah, you know, I'm training for powerlifting competition. And then that switched the conversation to

tell me about that. How long have you been doing that? So it was actually a really nice segue for me to be able to release that stress around it. But then, so this is the this is the part that sticks with me because it was probably the most emotional. So we have the dinner. I nailed it. Had my little mocktail, my little and I say little, I shouldn't say that anymore. My big mocktail.

Mara DeMauro (09:34)
Hehe

Renee Adams (09:51)
My big girl mocktail, okay, with my Topo Chico lime, killed it and we're all leaving the restaurant and all the suppliers are like, hey, come with us to the bar. We're going to the bar, you know, let's go, blah, blah, blah. I say no. I say I'm firm. I need to get up in the morning. I've got a lot of stuff to do. I'm tired. And they pressed. They pressed on me.

Remember, this is the first time that I'm meeting this supplier in a more leadership capacity. So in the back of my mind, there is this need to want to be accepted and build that relationship with this supplier because I'm in this leadership position. I don't want them thinking that I can't hang. There's all of those thoughts running through my mind.

and they just keep pressing me, literally yelling, almost yelling at me from the side. I started turning around and started walking towards the hotel because at that point I knew I just needed to remove myself. Because if I stood there still, they would, they're relentless. They wanted me to come out. And so while I do appreciate the wanting to include me, they weren't hearing me.

they were not accepting the fact that I did not want to go to the bar at all. Well, yes, I think maybe some of you are saying, ⁓ you still could have gone and had your mocktail or had a soda water with lime or a Coke. You could still be in that environment. But for me personally, where I was in my journey, I didn't feel comfortable being in that setting to where

Mara DeMauro (11:11)
Mm.

Renee Adams (11:41)
I was going to continue to get pressured to drink. Why would I put myself in that situation? So I made that hard decision. I turned my back quite literally on the whole group and walked back to my hotel room and texted you. Yes. Yeah. And that's the other thing too, having that support because I got up to my hotel room and I started bawling. I started crying because all of this

Mara DeMauro (11:56)
Texted me. I remember this.

Renee Adams (12:09)
I think the buildup and the emotion and trying to sort of stay positive through this whole thing, it really just built up on me and I started bawling. called and texted my husband, I called Mara or texted Mara rather and was like, my, what is happening right now? Like, and again, that's another thing I think that happens too, is you always tend to turn it back on yourself when it's, when...

In hindsight now, it was the situation. There are so many things that are lighting up in my brain that have nothing to do with me. And it's the situation. So I cried for about 10 minutes. I let it out. And my husband said something to me that also has stuck with me is, you're doing this for you. You're not doing it for anybody else. And especially in a leadership role.

You want people to respect you. You don't want them to see you in this scenario where you got to pull up the next morning with your tail between your legs because you may have said something last night that maybe you shouldn't have because you've been drinking a little bit too much. If anything, they're going to respect you more because you made that decision to go back to your hotel room. And so I cried it out, had these conversations, had my support there with me, just

for that reassurance of, know what, you're sticking to your conviction and it's gonna pay off in the long run. And then I was fine. I cried for 10 minutes and I was just like, hell yeah, this is right. And I did go and I worked out. And that's another thing too that was a breakthrough for me on this trip in particular, is every time prior where I would have to travel for work.

Mara DeMauro (13:48)
Mm-hmm

Renee Adams (14:01)
I am a fitness fanatic. I'm a fitness enthusiast. At the time, yeah, I was training for this powerlifting competition. There is no way in hell on trips previously that I would actually get up to work out. I would tell myself, okay, bring your stuff. You're going to work out the next morning. Promise yourself this. You can work out in the hotel room, whatever it is. And I would never do it. I would never do it because I would end up probably having a couple of glasses of wine, staying up too late.

Mara DeMauro (14:09)
Heh.

Renee Adams (14:30)
It's usually international flights, so my sleep schedule is all fucked up. But this time, the entire time for the whole three days I was there, I got up every single morning, did my training and went to these meetings. And that to me is everything. That to me is so much more valuable than going to the bar to try and impress a supplier.

Mara DeMauro (15:00)
Mm-hmm.

Renee Adams (15:01)
And that was huge. So ever since then, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna keep doing that. I'm gonna keep doing that.

Mara DeMauro (15:07)
Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that it's, that whole experience is so packed with so much wisdom. Like, you know, you were just like, Whoa, like so many breakthroughs and that's incredible. It's literally, it's priceless to be able to have, allow yourself to actually stick to what you said you wanted to do. And, and that's why I think

It's so important to remember that you're doing these things because you want to do them. It's not for other people. Kind of like how Richard said, and like, just knowing that people are just, people are just talking, you know, yeah, come on, come on. You know, they're not necessarily understanding like where you are, what you're, you're truly going through and what you wanting to do and what your goals are. They're thinking.

Renee Adams (15:44)
Mm.

Mara DeMauro (16:03)
We're just inviting her, having a good time. We're really showing her we really care about her. So we're going to keep pushing, you know, and it's like, and you can see it from many different perspectives, like, okay, maybe that's not the best thing to do. And also like, that's why it's so important to have the clarity for yourself to know and decide what you want to do, not what the other people want you to do and to stick to that.

Renee Adams (16:26)
Absolutely.

Yeah, no, and there's no judgment either on their side of things because I think it can be very easy to sort of place that blame on someone else for pressuring you. But that's when you have to take the responsibility for your life because they're your decisions. At the end of the day, it was my decision that I stuck to because I have my own goals.

And like you said, they were just being like, hey girl, let's go. So I do appreciate that. And so when you can almost flip that mindset to not feel like, fuck them. They don't know what's going on. More like, no, they don't know and that's okay. They're just doing what they're used to doing and they just want me around. But I don't wanna be in that situation. So that's where it really comes down to.

to you and your own convictions for sure. And I'll tell you too, the morning after was even more reassurance for me because there are so many people that came into that morning meeting hungover. And you could tell, and you could tell. I didn't regret any of those photos, any of those stories from the night before.

Mara DeMauro (17:29)
Yeah.

I bet.

Renee Adams (17:53)
It was just further reassurance for me that I made the right decision.

Mara DeMauro (17:57)
Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. So we're going to move into, you know, like some top takeaways of how to actually do this. If you're thinking about going on a vacation or you have work travel coming up, what are some tangible things people can do to help them build in some more, you know, padding or mindfulness, to either say totally alcohol free or a little bit more, you know, cut back.

Renee Adams (18:25)
Yeah, so my number one rule, and this is one that I cannot take credit for. This was from Katie Nestle, the soberish mom. If you don't follow her, I highly recommend. She is a soberish person. She does a lot of mocktails and does have a lot of great tips as well. She's a mom of two and just has really good tips. So this one I stole from her and this is just a staple, my number one.

Anytime that I'm traveling, whether that is for vacation or for work, zero drinks the first night. Completely dry the first day, the first, well, really the first night that you get to your destination. And the reason behind this is one, you're already so overstimulated from the stressors and anxiety of travel. You're probably not drinking enough water.

probably not eating the best food, your sleep is probably shit. All of those things that culminate into just trash. You're just not feeling your best. Adding alcohol on top of that is probably not what your body needs in that moment. When you can take a pause, when you actually reach your final destination and really kind of maybe go through this checklist of let's hydrate,

Let's get some nourishing food. Let's go ahead and do our sleepy time routine, whether that's read a book, tea, whatever it is for you to get some good quality sleep. I think that's my number one. Dry on the first night. And that way too, you're not only re-nourishing your body, but that way you can wake up the next morning super refreshed, ready for whatever you gotta tackle, whether that's for work travel or for vacation.

Mara DeMauro (20:20)
Yeah. Yeah. And I love too, how it, it kind of like resets your body. Like, okay, you're in a new location. And I know the typical go-to is like, let's just go get a glass of wine and let's get a beer, you know? So it goes against that. And it kind of like nudges your whole system to be like, hold up. We're recalibrating this. We're going to do something different.

Renee Adams (20:20)
That's my number one.

Yes, for sure. My number two is if you can, if you're traveling via car or if you know where you're going, especially for work travel and you've been there a couple of times, if you can bring your own NA options, that's a big deal because that way you're not relying on whatever is around, especially if you're in a new location. So I like to pack recess.

packets, that magnesium drink, so I'll bring those. Or I will scope out restaurants or even liquor stores or grocery stores in the area that I will be at to see if they have NA options. So I think being, again, going back to that responsibility factor, you're responsible for your own shit. So doing the research ahead of time or being able to bring NA options with you really just

allows you to not even be put in a situation where you're going to drink some alcohol.

Mara DeMauro (21:44)
Yeah, totally. And I think you talked about this during point one, you know, when we're traveling, we're typically, I mean, we're all like already super dehydrated and then like adding that to traveling even more dehydrated. And like when I went on this trip, I packed like my whole fucking kitchen and.

Renee Adams (22:06)
Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (22:07)
It was kind of like a spur of the moment trip. So I had all this produce and I'm lugging. It took like an hour to load my car. It was like absurd, but I, I was so excited and that's kind of my go-to was like, I brought my juicer. So this was my way of preparing, you know, my NA quote unquote NA options, which is like, freaking love fresh pressed juice. feels so, so good in my body. And it's just like packed with sunlight and it's, it's just so fun. And.

So that was me preparing myself. And so I had all my, my juicer, all my produce. Of course I bought more produce while I was down there to make more juices, but that was my prep. It helps.

Renee Adams (22:50)
In addition to that too,

yeah, for sure. I think that what comes, it comes down to the preparation for your future self. And you thank yourself when you find yourself in that situation later on in your trip. And I think to go along with that is there are going to be so many times where you are out at different restaurants in different areas that you're unfamiliar with. So I think having an automatic drink order

is really helpful as well. So when you are going out with your corporate people or you're out on vacation, starting with an N.A. is, I think, really helpful because it kind of sets that precedent for your experience for that night. So whether that's my go to is always a soda water with lime or a Coke Zero. So starting with that N.A., like I said, really just sets that precedent. And there's also if you are more of a mindful drinker.

It's called zebra striping, which is a new term that I've kind of come across. And that is for every alcoholic beverage, you follow it with an N.A. or with water. So that really just dilutes and really just reduces the options that you have for the actual drinking the alcohol. But I think starting with N.A. is really the takeaway for this one.

Mara DeMauro (24:17)
Yeah. And I love, it's funny. was talking about this with my mom yesterday. You brought this up about thanking like our future self will like thank us. And yesterday, you know, I'm in the, I just drove, I don't know, 12 hours back from Miami and I get home and I'm like, all right, I have a busy day tomorrow. So I'm going and I'm on the phone with her and I'm like, okay, how can I utilize this time and maximize it? So I'm like, I'm going to chop some produce while I'm on the phone with her.

And I told my mom, my future self will thank me because I was prepping, you know, my stuff for my juice today. And it's the same thing, you know, and it's a, it's a fun little thing to remember when you don't necessarily, you know, cause like you're going on vacation or blah, blah. Who wants to like do research and prepare and it's well, your future self will freaking love you. So just remember that.

Renee Adams (25:05)
Absolutely.

Yeah, no, for sure. And I think the last one, which we touched upon in, I think, both of our experiences is to really have a support system. So whether that means your partner on the trip, if that means your coach, if that means a friend or family member, I think having someone to lean on during those challenging situations where you find yourself

in an experience that you don't feel as confident or you have all the tools and you've done all the preparation, but you still feel like, fuck, I don't know how to deal with this. Or for example, when I was there and I just started bawling my eyes out, like, what do I do with this? How do I feel? I think having that support there to sort of reassure you that

you are making the best decision for your health, for yourself, just that reminder back to why you're doing this in the first place.

Mara DeMauro (26:11)
Yes. Huge, huge, huge. That support system is just amazing. It just doesn't compare. And being mindful, you know, who, who is your support system? What does that look like is because there's a difference between having a support system and then being someone who's just constantly dumping on someone like, just, you know, like, so really check in, you know, there, there are tons of spaces and groups and programs, you know, that that's built in. That's what it's there for.

Renee Adams (26:14)
Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (26:40)
You know, and, your friends too, of course, and your loved ones are a support system, but just be mindful of like, you know, what that, that threshold looks like.

Renee Adams (26:50)
Yeah, may not, know, family and friends, depending on where you are in your journey, may not actually understand fully where you are yet. So when you reach out to them, they may not necessarily have the depth behind of where you are in your journey to be able to fully support you in the ways that you need. Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (27:12)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think those are great takeaways, things just to hone in on as you're traveling alcohol free or trying to be more mindful. And, know, like the, the pros of doing this, just like the list is so long, but I think for me, the, the immediate type takeaways would be. You remember your entire trip. You remember everything and you're just, you're so grateful.

because you realize how magical, you know, just the intricacies of life are. And you start to meet more like-minded people. On this last trip, here's just like a little teaser. I met with someone who has a, like a holistic wellness center down in Key West. And, you know, they teach yoga, they are a personal trainer, or sorry,

Physical therapist, I keep thinking PT and then personal training. Yeah. First physical therapist, yoga instructor, breath work facilitator, and has this wellness facility where there's people who are, you know, massage therapists, shamanic workers, you know, all of these different things. And they have created a space for people who are actually local to the Keys or Key West and

Renee Adams (28:12)
PT.

Mara DeMauro (28:39)
we met, we're like, yeah, how can we collaborate? How can we bring more of this kind of conversation to people who live in a place that is predominantly just bombarded by booze and escapism? And how do we help people become more mindful and present? And so...

Renee Adams (28:54)
Mm.

Mara DeMauro (29:03)
Yeah. The more you're the more you gain confidence and open up about your own experiences, you start to, and you share that and you, start to meet more like-minded people and it becomes so, so rich. And so you can be traveling thinking it's just going to be a family vacation, whatever. And look who you, look who you meet, look at the connections you make, or, you're traveling for work and you have a conversation and you inspire someone else to start to like, it gives them their permission that they've been waiting for.

So it's, truly incredible. And of course the very obvious ones of like, okay, you get great sleep. You've already touched on this. You get great sleep. say committed to your, you know, your commitments of like waking up training for whatever it is. And you're just like, this is, this is a freaking superpower.

Renee Adams (29:46)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Well, it really opens your eyes to a completely different lifestyle because I think we get so blinded and have these blinders on of what our lives are supposed to be and sort of are on this autopilot mode of vacation time, time to unwind, drink, do this, go to the pool. OK.

I can't do what I wanted to do tomorrow morning because I'm so freaking hungover. It really just broadens the entire spectrum of what living life is. And that is such a beautiful thing because there are so many adventures for you to have. And when you start removing or reducing that alcohol, it really opens up that space for that. And like you said, meeting like-minded people, meeting people that you may not have met otherwise.

Mara DeMauro (30:48)
Right.

Renee Adams (30:48)
Yeah, it's an incredible, incredible ride.

Mara DeMauro (30:52)
Heck yeah.

I agree 100%. Well, this has been a very fun conversation. And please, if you're listening to this and you feel inspired to share this with someone or this really rang true for you, let us know, us an email. You can find how to contact us in the show notes. Renee, where can people find you?

Renee Adams (31:19)
Yes, you can follow me on Instagram at Coach underscore Radams and you can also visit my personal coaching page if you're looking for just more resources or if you want to start a chat, book a free call, reneadamscoaching.com. What about you?

Mara DeMauro (31:35)
Yeah.

Yup. Instagram is Mara DiMaro and then my website is MaraDiMaro.com. And of course here for anyone who wants to just start this journey and take that next step, ⁓ can coach or book a free call and would love to chat with you. All right. We'll see you. Yeah. We'll see you next time. Cheers.

Renee Adams (31:53)
Sick. Okay, till next time.

Bye.