Power of the Pivot

In this episode, we explore the concept of 'Power of the Pivot,' discussing the importance of embracing change and flexibility in life. We share personal experiences and insights on navigating fear, self-awareness, and the cyclical nature of life. The conversation emphasizes the need for trust in the process of change and the value of community support in personal growth. 

IG: @marademauro
Website: www.marademauro.com

IG: @coach_radams
Website: www.reneeadamscoaching.com

Email us: nosedivethepod@gmail.com

Transcript

Renee Adams (00:01)
Hey y'all, welcome back to Nosedive the podcast. I am here with my partner in crime, Ms. Mara DeMaro. How you doing? Hello. So today we are talking about the power of the pivot. And what I mean by that is when we get in these situations where shit just ain't working.

Mara DeMauro (00:09)
Hello, ⁓

Woo woo!

Renee Adams (00:31)
⁓ We then decide to hopefully make some changes and the power behind that. for example, I've gone through a couple different career changes, definitely have tried powerlifting, CrossFit. Now I'm doing some bodybuilding things. And there's just so much power behind making the decision to change

towards making your life what you want it. And I think a lot of the times people are just, they shy away from the change because they see it as a failure or, I really got to stick this out. Maybe it's a stubbornness that like, no, I'm going to make this work, which...

Mara DeMauro (01:06)
Mm-hmm.

Renee Adams (01:27)
I definitely see that side of things too, just depending on what it is. If you're an entrepreneur and if you have a passion and you want to make that one thing work no matter what, yeah, I definitely get certain aspects of that. But I think that there's such a beauty behind knowing when to be flexible and when to be open to change. And with that change, with that pivot, like in sports, for example, when you're

going for like a ground ball or something like that and you stop and pivot, you change direction, there's a lot of momentum behind that. And so that is sort of my analogy for when we are deciding to make these changes that really can gain some momentum into making the life that you want.

Mara DeMauro (02:15)
Yeah. Yeah. I think this is such an interesting topic because.

There requires a lot of awareness to what our body is trying to tell us. And gosh, there have been so many times where I am just trying to make something fit, something work, even though my body is like, no, dude, like, nope.

Nope, nope, nope again. And I'm like, no, but I have to stick to this strategy because I said I was going to do this and I'm going to do it. I'm going to keep doing it. I got to be consistent with it. And I think that's also what's confusing about all of this. And we kind of talked about this in another episode where there is so much information out there. You know, there's so many different, there's so many people giving great advice, but when it comes down to it, we all have to figure out what works for us. And

Renee Adams (02:44)
Mm-mm.

Mara DeMauro (03:13)
You know, for example, I'm just going to be super transparent. When I started my coaching business, I, I was going through a period in my life where I was really redefining my relationship with substances, alcohol in particular. And my business coach at the time was like, my gosh, you should absolutely share that and go down that path.

because that's something that's getting a lot of eyes right now. That's like the path you should go down. And I was like, okay, like I am interested in it, but I feel just so much more drawn to like talking about like playing and being goofy and silly and nature and fruits and like animals, things like this. And she was like, okay, but you can like talk about both of them. And I agree with that.

Renee Adams (04:08)
Mmm.

Mara DeMauro (04:11)
these, all of these different little passions or purposes and experiences in my life definitely meld together really nicely and they all work well together. But time and time again, I'm more excited to talk about like the creative silly stuff. ⁓ And so just like looping back to I've been kind of afraid to pivot.

Because I'm like, no, I've been like, you know, on this, you know, sober curious journey to helping people with that. And it's like, you can, it can be more than that. You know, it doesn't have to be just that. So I hear you.

Renee Adams (04:56)
Yeah, like why do you think it's so scary? Like what's bringing up the fear?

Mara DeMauro (05:02)
Well, I think you mentioned,

I think you mentioned a good point is that it can feel like failure. So, you know, ⁓ you know, I'm giving up on this vision that I had, you know, I did all these visualization things for this particular business model and da da da da. And like, and I also think there's a sweet spot of actually giving something time.

Renee Adams (05:09)
Mm.

Mara DeMauro (05:31)
to see if it will stick and you tweak and you know, whatever. And then also knowing when it's time to truly pivot and do something else. And no one can tell you when that is except for yourself.

Renee Adams (05:47)
Yeah, no, that's what I was going to touch upon too is that I'm not saying that as soon as it's challenging, as soon as it just feels like it's so overwhelming, like I'm not saying change every time you hit this adversity. I'm not saying to change every time you face a challenge or something doesn't go your way.

you need to, of course, still have some discipline and some consistency to see the trends on what is working and what isn't. But when there is just an overwhelming sense in your body and how you're reacting to things, if you are relieved when you don't have to do certain things, and I'm not saying like, ⁓ thank God, I don't have to work out today.

or tomorrow or the next day. It's different in that feeling of like, okay, this is not where I am exceeding. There is a blockage somewhere with whatever it is that you're doing that you may start to feel like, okay, we need to change something up here. Something else needs to change. And it doesn't even have to be some drastic change.

Mara DeMauro (06:43)
Mm-hmm.

Renee Adams (07:12)
You know, like if it is with your career, you don't have to switch from like, I don't even know. can't even think of anything like, you know, something in the corporate world to just blowing your life up and becoming an entrepreneur just because that is something that you want to do eventually. You know what I mean? Like it doesn't have to be something huge. It can be small pivots in your day to day action or taking smaller steps towards.

different goals that you might have or dipping a toe into whatever activity that you might actually be interested in. And I understand that it's definitely scary. I think coming from this background of definitely an all or nothing mentality, it's that I definitely am stubborn too, holding that grudge against myself of, no, I'm gonna make this shit work because...

Mara DeMauro (08:01)
Hmm.

Renee Adams (08:06)
I am disciplined, I am consistent, and I'm going to ride this shit out until I'm completely depleted. No, that sounds crazy when you say it like that. ⁓ But coming from that background, it's hard to accept flexibility and being okay with moving into something else that may actually end up being a lot more fruitful for your...

Mara DeMauro (08:15)
Mm-hmm.

Renee Adams (08:34)
life and you may actually like even better.

Mara DeMauro (08:38)
Yeah. And you never know. Like that's the thing. It's everything's kind of like a gamble and you just have to literally try it out to see what is going to happen. But behind that curiosity to try something new is having that trust that even if it doesn't turn out the way you thought it would, that it's still leading you to where you need to go. And I also think you, you said a word.

that made me, you said two things. The first word was subtle and subtle. What I am grateful about, you know, being on an alcohol-free journey is tuning into my body's subtle communication cues that I wouldn't necessarily have had awareness of before. And that is so beneficial because it's, it's

Communicating with me like, actually you don't really want to be doing this. You don't really want to be doing this, or you really want to be doing this. You really want to be doing this. And so, I'm pretty grateful for that. And then you also mentioned. Like when you were giving those examples, like I am disciplined. I am, I am, I am, and it just made me think of how we label ourselves so much of like, am, I am this, I am this, I am this, or I am not this. And.

how that creates so much rigidity and doesn't really allow us to embrace the power of the pivot if we are already placing ourselves into these categories of who we think we are. And what happens when we change an I am statement to something a little bit more open?

Renee Adams (10:10)
Mm.

Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (10:35)
Does it open possibilities up for us? Is it soft in the experience? Does it make it more. Easeful. You know.

Renee Adams (10:36)
Mmm.

Yeah.

How do you think that can look though? how do you, you know, I think it's difficult to dismantle a lot of those things, you know, as you were saying through your sober curious journey and I can relate to that entirely is there's a lot of dismantling that comes with that when we start to really look at

we are and what experiences that we have had that led us to the people that we are today. And so when we do remove and reduce those types of substances to get those cues from ourselves, we are able to kind of break down different scenarios of maybe why we are the way that we are, but how

I just wonder like, how are there some different ways that maybe we can open ourselves up to different ways of thinking around that? You know what I mean?

Mara DeMauro (11:53)
Yeah.

Yeah. So it's funny. I was just talking to another friend about this probably like a day ago and she gave me a really beautiful compliment and, I was like, okay, this is interesting. And I started thinking about it about this topic. And so how, like how to actually soften our thoughts and open up. I.

All I can say is like what I do, you know, from my experience. And basically I shared that when I talk, I try to speak about things like, sure, there are many times when I say I am, and I place myself into a box. And then sometimes I, I, I'm a little bit softer with it, you know? So it's, it's like a spectrum of going back and forth and that

Renee Adams (12:49)
Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (12:53)
Also, how there's this duality of like, yes, I can come off like when I'm talking even here, you know, right now, and I feel really easeful talking about this stuff. And it feels really nice to like, wow, what a way to live and what a way to think. But I guarantee you we'll get off of this call and give me an hour from now. And there are going to be some super rigid thoughts that come into my mind. And

I think that's okay, you know, like, but what helps me is.

is choosing to speak about things in a softer way, even though I might be internally experiencing rigidity because it helps counterbalance the whole, the body as a whole, you know, the mind, the spirit, the body, everything. so I don't think it's like, for me anyway, it hasn't been like one way or the other way. They kind of like do this. Yeah.

Renee Adams (13:34)
Mmm.

overlap and it's

like an equilibrium. The reason why I brought this topic up is because I think life and how we experience life, of course, is cyclical. We go through so many changes and when I look back on

Mara DeMauro (13:55)
and we in and out. Yeah. Yeah.

Renee Adams (14:23)
my life and where I am now. Not only just in my sober curious journey, but through like my career and growing up and how I ended up here and just reflecting on my life. There have been quite a lot of pivots. ⁓ That is for sure. And I don't regret ⁓ any any of those decisions because it's brought me to a place where

I'm very well-rounded. You know what I mean? I have a very colorful story and I think it's something to be embraced when you are making these decisions because at the end of the day, that's what makes a really good story.

Mara DeMauro (15:11)
Mm. Mm.

Renee Adams (15:13)
It's just

this compilation of like, man, I took a right turn here and then went down a little bit and then came a little back up and then changed my life around, did a whole 180, did a whole 360, whatever, like spin up and down, like just not linear at all. And yeah, I'm happy that it is that way. ⁓ Even though, of course, on a day-to-day basis, I'm like, I just want stability and I want, you know.

Mara DeMauro (15:27)
Right.

Yeah.

Right.

Renee Adams (15:43)
you know, just like the quote unquote normal things.

Mara DeMauro (15:47)
Right, right. Yeah, it's funny. ⁓ I remember in college, I think it was my senior year of undergrad, was in a class, it was called the art of monologuing or something like that. And it was such a unique class. my gosh, there were only like 11 of us. And I actually wanted to be an instructor's assistant for this course. And they were like,

We love that you have interest in being an instructor's assistant. However, you have had to have taken the class prior in order to do so. However, we'll make an exception. And the reason why they said that is because they want you to have the experience of actually going through the class to, be able to help the students, you know, like, you know, so, ⁓ they said, we'll make an exception if you want to take the class. We'll, we'll allow it.

Renee Adams (16:36)
Sure.

Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (16:46)
you're obviously not going to get a grade for it, but you have to go through the experience as well. And I was like, yeah, let's do it. And the instructor of that course, I'll never forget her. She, she just said something that I had never heard at that point in my life, which was like how cyclical life is. And I just remember, remember her saying that and thinking, Hmm.

That's, I know that's like a big chunk of wisdom that she just dropped that I don't quite understand yet. And yeah, your story and you using that phrase just really reminded me of that. and how true that is indeed. And like, yeah, just what.

Renee Adams (17:29)
Mmm.

Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (17:39)
what does that mean? Like where, you know, we recognize there's these cycles, these patterns, and you know, you hear talks about like, ⁓ be the one to like break the generational cycle or the pattern and this and this and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but like, what? You know?

Renee Adams (17:56)
Yeah,

I know. It's so crazy that it literally can be generational. Yeah, really just kind of multi-generational. Yeah, and it really does sort of blow my mind. I just say all this too, because if you are feeling sort of lost and not really knowing the direction that you

Mara DeMauro (18:05)
multi-generational.

Renee Adams (18:25)
are wanting to take your life at this point, whether that's with family, with friends, with career, with passion, ⁓ it's okay. Stuff will work out. And that's something that I have to remind myself of too is it's worked out thus far and it's going to continue to work out no matter what path we decide to take. I think that there is,

some motivation factors that come from starting something new and being okay with maybe a chapter ending so that something else can blossom from starting something new. And I like thinking of these experiences in my life as one full

I don't even know how to explain it. Like it's almost like a book that goes not just front to back, but like you can go front to back and back to front. Does that make sense? You know what I mean? It's like an ongoing thing. It's not like, okay, this part ends, even though I just said like one door closes, another one opens, but it's all encompassing. It's all together. It's like a oneness.

Mara DeMauro (19:47)
Yeah.

Renee Adams (19:52)
that comes from just experiencing life because when something doesn't work out in your favor or maybe how you anticipated it to, you still learn so much from it.

Mara DeMauro (20:05)
Right. Yeah. And I think too, like you'd never know. Like it may not turn out how you anticipated, but it leads you somewhere else that could possibly be it. It will be what's best because it's what's happening. You know, at that time. And I know, I know some of this stuff can feel at times like when you're not in the greatest space, it's like,

Renee Adams (20:06)
You

Yeah, yeah.

Mara DeMauro (20:34)
It's the most frustrating thing to hear. It's like, no, don't fucking say that. Like I know, you know, ⁓ and I get that because I can feel frustrated too. ⁓ at certain life situations or circumstances that I'm going through and. It's it, it all comes down to like our belief systems too, you know, like.

Renee Adams (20:40)
Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (21:01)
And that's something I can get really tripped up on. Like so stuck of like how, this is how I know I'm in my fucking head and I'm going to go nowhere. I start really asking questions, like asking and like drilling in like, so how do you trust? What does that mean? How does trusting look? How do you know you're actually trusting? How do know you're not just like, you know, talking yourself like

Renee Adams (21:06)
Mmm.

Mara DeMauro (21:31)
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Renee Adams (21:31)
Yeah, the back and forth. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mara DeMauro (21:36)
But you know, and it's, or another one I'll get tripped up on is like, you know, my mentors will be like, okay, your belief system is what's so important. And I'm like, okay, but now that I know my belief system is so important.

when I am expressing my belief system, am I just like faking it? Like, you know, fake it till you make it because this is my belief system and it's what's gonna help me stay out of my mind. Like...

Renee Adams (22:02)
because this is my belief system, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you're next level, ⁓

Mara DeMauro (22:12)
I can't be asking these questions.

Like, I have no business asking these damn questions.

Renee Adams (22:24)
Well, that's why I love our friendship, to be honest with you, because I, yeah, I mean, I don't think I'll ever forget. It was probably like the first class that we took together. And what was that one? It was like public health, some public health administration class, which I don't even know. It had to be in like, yeah, it was probably like some class that you like had to take for credits of your first year, freshman year or something, I don't know. ⁓

Mara DeMauro (22:37)
Yeah.

why we were in that.

Yeah.

Renee Adams (22:53)
or like your first year of whatever we were doing for our masters. I just remember thinking, she asks a lot of questions. Why, why? I was like, why don't I ask questions? You know what I mean? It made me think like, ⁓ I should be, I should be questioning more. Yeah, because I remember, I don't even remember what we're like.

Mara DeMauro (23:17)
No.

Renee Adams (23:20)
you know, what the teacher was lecturing on or whatever. And and I just remember you being like, yeah, but like, why is it this way or what? You know, asking the questions. I'm like, damn. Yeah, yeah. You know, like I need to be I need to question more things, not just accept them for how they are. I think that's a really good trait to have. So it's funny that you see it in this light.

Mara DeMauro (23:39)
Dude.

Oh my gosh, I would say a

balance because I think there is so much beauty, so much beauty and power in accepting things how they are. And yes, having the curiosity to ask questions, but.

Renee Adams (23:54)
Well, yeah, I mean, you were just saying like there's like, yeah, you were saying how it's like.

Mara DeMauro (24:12)
It truly reminds me, the reason why I'm having such a strong like visceral response to this is because my mom questions authority. Like not just authority, just she just questions everything, everything. Like not, love my mom, you know, but she's so skeptical. And so that's what this is bringing up for me. So I'm just like, my gosh, like.

Renee Adams (24:25)
yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Mara DeMauro (24:41)
You know like literally everything like how do you know? How do you know you can trust these people or how and I'm like ⁓ Like no, I don't I don't want to ask these questions. I just I just want to fucking trust

Renee Adams (24:42)
Yeah, I liked it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, well, and I didn't mean to say that and like, that's how, you know, it's not like you're like, but why for everything. But I do remember that about you. But in my mind and how I viewed that situation, I admired that about you. So, you know.

Mara DeMauro (25:03)
The end.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, you know, like that's why we work well together.

Renee Adams (25:25)
Yeah,

that's for sure. I'm just like, yeah, that sounds good. And you're like, but let's ask this question. So it works. It works. ⁓ shit. Well, any last tidbits about, you know, going into situations, not feeling 100 % and diving into, you know, maybe making a change. ⁓ Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (25:35)
is in.

I guess, like, we're all in this together. No one really knows what, no one knows the outcome of anything. So we're all just really doing our best to try to trust the process. And all I keep telling myself is the universe has my back. I have my back.

Renee Adams (26:01)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (26:24)
I got this, this is okay, we got this. And it will keep unfolding, allow it to unfold.

Renee Adams (26:33)
Yeah. Right. Yeah. Just releasing some of that control. And I understand that people are sometimes in situations where they can't change, where they can't make the changes that they want to. So I empathize with that. Like, I realize that that people don't have the luxury to always pivot. You know, I totally get that. However, you know, being able to

Mara DeMauro (26:33)
I mean, what else can you really do?

Yes.

Renee Adams (27:04)
As you said, sit with it, trust that things will work out and...

We're all in this together.

Mara DeMauro (27:16)
Yeah. Really seeing the expectation around the timelines for things to quote unquote workout. Yeah. Yup.

Renee Adams (27:23)
Yeah, God, I need to like

put that on a post and stick it to my forehead.

Mara DeMauro (27:31)
Just get it tattooed across your forehead. You have enough of those tattoos anyway.

Renee Adams (27:33)
Just get it tattooed, just add it.

I know, right? I don't have any room on my arms. Maybe I'll just put it on my forehead and have a walk around with a mirror or something. God.

Mara DeMauro (27:45)
Oh

man, all right, Ney. Love these combos. Where can people find you?

Renee Adams (27:48)
Alright dude.

Yeah, you can find me on Instagram at Coach underscore gradums.

Mara DeMauro (27:58)
And you can find me on Instagram at Mara DiMaro. Send us an email, send us an email, let us know, you know, of any topics that y'all want to hear us chat about. Um, we're trying to really make this a little bit more fluid and conversational. Um, maybe some more storytelling. So yeah, we just want to hear from you. So feel free to shoot us a message.

Renee Adams (27:59)
And you?

Until next time!

Mara DeMauro (28:27)
At our email, which is, nay, what's our email address?

Renee Adams (28:31)
It is.

Mara DeMauro (28:34)
Nose dive.

thepod at gmail.com. ⁓ yeah. That's it. All right, y'all. We'll see you next time.

Renee Adams (28:43)
That's it.

Bye!

Mara DeMauro (28:50)
Bye.