Be a Poser, Not a People Pleaser

In this weeks' episode we ask you to be a poser ok?! We reflect on our recent alcohol-free weekend together, volume 2, exploring personal growth, creativity, and the challenges of navigating social situations without alcohol. We explain how to shift from people-pleasing behaviors to embracing self-respect and the importance of setting boundaries. We highlight the joy of rediscovering life beyond alcohol, the adaptability of humans, and the significance of building new habits for a healthier lifestyle.

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Transcript

Mara DeMauro (00:01)
Howdy, howdy, welcome back to Nosedive, super stoked to be here. Hi, Renee.

Renee (00:07)
Hi Maura, so good to see you as always.

Mara DeMauro (00:09)
I know how fun it's really cool. You were here in Charleston last weekend, like right in front of my face. And now it's like back to the screen thing. And I'm like, Whoa. ⁓ but on that note today, we're super excited to chat about. Weekend, that we had and what that looked like in comparison to times that we have spent with each other before how that differed and like just.

topics of people pleasing and, you know, yeah, what does that look like? And I'm excited to dig into that and the stories behind that. So, yeah, I know you had, posted a reflection from the weekend and I was like, that was so well put. So what do you feel like really stood out to you the most last weekend when we were together?

Renee (01:02)
Yeah, thanks. Yeah, I called it like volume two because I think the first time that I came to visit ⁓ for like our first alcohol free girls weekend together was probably, I think it was almost a year ago when we were trying to like calculate how long it's been. And obviously not since the last time I saw you, but since we had sort of this, you know, girls weekend and

Mara DeMauro (01:20)
It was.

Renee (01:31)
It's so, so different for me even in the course of the year because the first time that I came out, I felt super supported obviously because you as not only a business partner, my first kind of sober curious coach and mentor, I felt very safe and not having to really worry about no one there backing me up.

Mara DeMauro (01:59)
Mm-hmm.

Renee (02:00)
But I will say internally, that dialogue was completely different. Like the first trip, I was definitely like, okay, where are we going? What are we gonna do? Can I actually do this and trust myself enough to not drink? Or if I do drink, how am I gonna handle that? There was just a lot more, I think, internal dialogue about, ⁓ shit, what am I gonna do?

Mara DeMauro (02:04)
move

Renee (02:28)
and worrying about the drink, really, like worrying about the alcohol and if I could trust myself. This time around, I didn't even fucking think about it. Like alcohol, like wasn't even, you know, usually when I would go on trips like this, I'd be like, all right, hell yeah, winding down, vacation mode, let's go get some drinks, mimosas, yeah, like let's go to the grocery store, let's get some.

Mara DeMauro (02:40)
It's wild.

Mimosa's on tag.

Renee (02:58)
Champagne, let's get some, you know munchies. Let's get some good food like all that kind of stuff where are gonna go out to the bar tonight all that kind of stuff and like this time around it was like The list of activities that we were doing instead was completely different You know, I brought like my long boards for us to go skateboarding, which I haven't done probably since high school ⁓ You know, I had a psychic medium reading we

Mara DeMauro (03:13)
Mmm.

Mmm.

Renee (03:27)
We still got some like, you know, a little trashy food here and there. But I'd much, yeah, I'd much rather take that over being hungover and being completely like obliterated. You know, we went out to the beach, like the list of stuff that we did that also brought me like so much joy. It was completely different versus like, all right, here's this list of 10 things that we did versus going out to the bar or getting alcohol.

Mara DeMauro (03:31)
Yeah, man.

Right.

Renee (03:57)
which is like one thing.

Mara DeMauro (03:58)
Right. Yeah,

it's super cool when you kind of like zoom out and see what all we got to experience. And that's what I think is so fun about this, you know, the sober curious journey or whatever is just like, okay, being curious about if we broaden our perspective a little bit or open up to different experiences, what all like

Might we experience, might be fun, might be awkward, might be weird. I don't know, but you gotta fuckin' try, you know? Otherwise you won't know.

Renee (04:30)
Yeah, yeah,

yeah, totally. And I think too, it's like the, just the internal feeling of kind of taking that anxiety away and just doing a, using your term, like a full send into the weekend to see what we can do. And it was just jam packed and so fun. And I had such a good time and it just kind of like ignites that.

spark back in me to want to actually live my life. I think beforehand, it's like chasing that drink to numb all of this shit that's going on in the background of my life to then start that cycle over and over again. And this time around, it's like, no, this is igniting so many other things within me that also gets me in a creative state to then pursue different things that maybe I wouldn't have otherwise.

Mara DeMauro (05:02)
Hmm.

Yeah, and it's not that those things like go away, know, all the shit quote unquote goes away, you know, but it's also it's just helpful to bring in the cool like the exciting things too. It's just like being able to have both at the same time. And also, I really feel like the play we had the experiences we had did open our creative

lens, which is really fun. We had like a photo shoot in my living room. You know, that was just loads of fun. okay, I felt like I remember back in I think it was like middle school or something. Everyone had digital cameras. And we you had your like nice digital camera and we're here like, okay, let's do this now. Cheers. You know, like the silly pictures ended up being the best pictures. And you know, because we were scheduled to have a fun photo shoot and the weather, you know, didn't work out for us. So we're like, all right, let's just like

Renee (05:55)
Yes!

Yeah.

We'll do it ourselves then.

Mara DeMauro (06:22)
Yeah, they're in

my living room. I don't know. so I think, yeah, I think that's just like finding the things that spark the joy, spark the creativity ⁓ is like such a relief and a different and more sustainable type of relief than, you know, numbing out, which I get it.

You know, like sometimes a lot of times I'm like, I just want a switch to turn the thoughts off, like turn it off. I, I really empathize, you know, why people, you know, even why I did like, and do resort to certain things to try to turn that volume down because it's a lot. get it, you know, but I just want to, you know, really extend that offering that there are so many ways that we can do that. ⁓

and to just be playful in that experiment and to discover what other options might be for you. ⁓

Renee (07:29)
Yeah, and to your

point with that too, it's like, if that just seems, as a listener, if that seems so far away from you, I just encourage you to keep showing up. Like, keep trying new things, keep trying to reevaluate that relationship with alcohol or whatever that substance is, because I was at that point for sure where I was like, there's no way. Like, that's not me, I've never done that.

It's just intangible. And I just encourage every single one of you to keep showing up because one of these times it's going to stick and it takes, it does take time. And I know that's so annoying to hear. It's like, oh, it takes time. Like be patient. And it's like, no, I want this to happen right now. But this, I've got to this place personally over the course of, let's see, three, four, five, like two years.

Mara DeMauro (08:13)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Renee (08:25)
So even the transformation that has happened within a year is completely different. I am a different person a year ago than I am now in the same kind of situation. So just keep showing up.

Mara DeMauro (08:38)
Yeah. I think too, like being open to redefining who we think we are. You know, I think we've talked about this before, like, I can't do that. I'm not that type of person. That's not what I do. And I'm like, yo, I've been talking about this a little bit, like, like be a poser. Like put on, you know, try on a different outfit, try on a different costume, like full send baby. Try it out. Like look weird.

Renee (08:56)
Yes.

Mara DeMauro (09:05)
Be embarrassed, be silly, like fuck it.

Renee (09:10)
Yeah, talk about

Mara, talk about that guy who like when we were skateboarding, right? So we go to this this place in Charleston where it's like this huge, this long, like straight road, because there's no way that I could do any turns or like I could barely stand on the on the skateboard. OK. And so here we are. Mara and I, know, we've got our camera, we've got our skateboards and this dude walks up.

Mara DeMauro (09:24)
You

Renee (09:38)
And of course, as we're getting out of the car, I'm like, oh my God, dude, like this is so, I felt, I'm like, I am a poser, you know? Like I look like I skate, but I don't, but I'm gonna do it anyways. But tell the listeners about what happened with this dude.

Mara DeMauro (09:54)
Was it the guy who was like...

Renee (09:55)
the

guy who's like, yeah, telling us like what to do and, or, you know, we were like, we have no idea what we're doing. And then he's like, no, have fun with it, blah, blah, that young kid.

Mara DeMauro (10:03)
Yeah,

yeah, yeah, he was he was just a sweet kid, you know, like, call him a kid. I don't know, you know, probably mid 20s or something. But yeah, he was just like really helpful and inviting. And he was like, yeah, just like do it like this. Like, here are a couple tips, like, you know, make sure when you're kicking and pushing, like swing your whole leg forward and then a full push, you know, and not just like these little like back pushes. And I was like, oh, cool, you know, and

Renee (10:10)
Yeah, I know he's probably like, yeah.

Mara DeMauro (10:33)
He's like, yeah, we'll have a good time. And we're like, yeah, thank you, you know? Thanks. Just like.

Renee (10:37)
Yeah, thanks. You just never know. You just never

know. you're just go for it, you know.

Mara DeMauro (10:42)
Yeah,

and it's in those little moments that I personally find joy is like, I'm going to just spark a conversation with this person. Like, you know, hey, what's up? You know, and my God, OK, another one. Like, I think we had a couple, but and then on that same time period, another lady's walking by and she has her fancy camera and she sees us with your fancy camera. And she's like, what are you guys taking pictures of? You know, it's just like.

Renee (10:57)
yeah, we did.

Mara DeMauro (11:12)
being open to having conversation, meeting people who are along a path that you're on. And she's like, yeah, I'm widowed and I've been really wanting to live my life. And what am I gonna do just sitting at home? So I'm out here, I love taking pictures. And I'm like, yes, we're here, so might as well live it and experience it. And I know sometimes that can feel really challenging to do, but.

It's in those little moments of, you know, exchanging with others. then, and then, you know, we were driving back from Whole Foods and I look over and I see this dude that's like always on the water surfing and he's just such a nice kid, you know, and I just look over and I wave and he like, he has his window down, his like foot's hanging out of his car door and he waves back. was like, hey, I roll my window down. Like, where is this going? Why am I doing this right now? ⁓

And I'm like, hey, he's like, hey. And I'm like, what's your name or something? I was like, I see you surfing sometimes. I'm like, what's your name? And then he was like, oh yeah, I just got off of work. I'm like, what do you do for work? He's like, I'm a remote therapist. I'm like, what? I was like, cool. He looks so young, you know? And I'm like, cool. But yeah, just like those little encounters.

Renee (12:26)
What?

Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (12:35)
Sometimes we think we're going to be perceived, even in that moment when I was rolling down the window, I was like, he's going to think I'm weird. And I'm like, whatever. What did I just do? I know, but like he was totally receptive to it, you know, like no big deal. And so I just, it's just like, it's like getting out of our heads and just like being in that moment. If you feel like doing something, do it.

Renee (12:40)
Yeah.

When you're like, you rolled it up and you're like, what did I just do? You're like, why did I just do that?

Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (13:02)
You know, even afterwards I did question, like, wait, then I got back into my head, wait, why'd I do that? You know, so those thoughts are always going, but we had a good laugh about it. And that's to me, the most important part.

Renee (13:13)
Well, and too, it's like, if you see him again, he's gonna remember you. Cause he'd be like, my God, that's ⁓ that's that chick that rolled her window down in the middle of traffic just saying, hey, what's up? You know? And that, mean, that just also just goes back to kind of what we were talking about before recording is, you know, what are you doing so people think well of you? And that goes back to that people pleasing.

Mara DeMauro (13:16)
Yes. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Renee (13:39)
mentality and why I think we feel so uncomfortable sometimes in these situations because we're assuming the thoughts of other people when really they're doing the same thing. Like they're thinking of stuff that's probably completely unrelated. And honestly, who gives a shit if they think you're a little weird, you know? I mean, you will

The odds of you seeing that guy are probably pretty high, but that's also someone that you have this kind of like energetic and connection with and do a lot of the same things. But you know, like that woman who was passing by, I felt like she just wanted somebody to talk to as well. And so she jumped out of her comfort zone to be like, you know what? I don't even care if...

Mara DeMauro (14:28)
Yeah. Yeah.

Renee (14:36)
or at least that's what I got. Again, that's me like assuming. So there's this whole thing in persona that we tend to kind of take on to please other people. And I think that's a big part of this journey in general is to rediscover who you are.

Mara DeMauro (14:39)
Mm-hmm.

⁓ Yeah. And I think too, when you were reading off that statement, what are you doing so people think well of you? And then I was like, yeah, what are you doing and what are you not doing? that, know, how do you, what do we do to stay in our boxes to like make sure everyone else is comfortable or okay. And I don't think it's, it's like, I just want to say that

Renee (15:02)
You know?

Mmm.

Mara DeMauro (15:27)
It's okay to think of other people and be courteous of other people's feelings and stuff. That means you're a good person, you know, but there is a balance of like, for example, I'm working with a client right now. She's headed out to an all hands meeting, with her work and she's like, my gosh, how am I going to, you know, it's like days on end and we're in meetings and everyone's doing happy hour. And then there's drinks after dinner. Like, how am I going to.

Be like, no, I don't want this alcoholic beverage. ⁓ And there's this back and forth between, do I choose to do the thing that I don't really want to do, but at least it keeps other people's thoughts in check about me? They don't bring up a question that makes them uncomfortable or makes me uncomfortable. Or do I choose to just

actually do what I want to do that feels right for me. And if other people get uncomfortable by it, that's okay. It's not my responsibility to manage that. And of course I'm coaching my client on choose what is best for you. And like the, the hard truth. And sometimes people will say, what is it called? Like the, tough love statement is like, you know what? There might be people that get annoyed and it's too bad. Like, ⁓

Renee (16:37)
Yes.

Right.

Mara DeMauro (16:51)
It's, cannot, because it comes down to a control thing, trying to control other people's perceptions of ourselves, how other people feel. And that's an illusion. We literally cannot do that, even though we think we may, and we can try to manipulate things, but y'all this, this journey.

Renee (16:56)
Yes.

Mara DeMauro (17:12)
of living life is like so uncontrollable. Like you got to just let it go. You know, if this feels, if this is the right decision in you for you and you do not want to drink or you don't want to do whatever it is, just honor that and allow the rest to kind of let it flow and know it's going to feel uncomfortable at first and just know that's okay.

Renee (17:33)
Yeah, there's a difference between being disrespectful and making that decision for yourself, for your health or well-being. As you were saying, you don't need to be defensive. You don't need to, and you've said this before, you don't really need to explain yourself to other people. How much you want to divulge about the reasons that you're

giving to other people is completely up to you, but no thank you is a sentence. That's a full sentence. That's it. You don't owe anybody anything and that is not being selfish and that is not being disrespectful. That's not being defensive. That is you staying true to yourself. And honestly, that kind of self-respect is going to potentially spark something in someone else that's around you too.

Mara DeMauro (18:08)
Thank you.

Renee (18:31)
so you don't know who you're helping, even though you think in your mind, like, I'm doing this for me, I don't care about anybody else, like, this is my prerogative, you have no idea what your actions are actually rubbing off on other people who want to do the same thing.

Mara DeMauro (18:47)
Exactly. And that's, that's exactly what I shared too, because she had this interaction. She was setting herself up for success. She was letting her, letting her colleague know like, Hey, you know, going to this. Cause she was usually like brings the quote unquote party. She's the one who's getting shots, you know, that whole persona. And she's like, now this is going to be different. People have these expectations of me and I'm showing up differently. And so that's why there's this like internal struggle.

Renee (19:04)
Mmm.

Mara DeMauro (19:17)
Um, that I totally understand what she's working through. And, um, but anyway, she told her colleague, Hey, I'm not going to participate in that. And the colleague was like, Oh yeah, I understand. Alcohol can be addicting. And my client did not like that. That comment was triggering because she felt it as like, Oh, but now she thinks I'm addicted and I'm, you know, this whole story.

Renee (19:45)
Right.

Mara DeMauro (19:46)
Where I was like, well, you know, she actually might just be acknowledging that from her own experience. Yeah. For herself. And you might've just sparked a little bit of like encouragement for, you know, and, and so you never know. And so it's just like, everything is always just a projection of everyone else's internal being and state of mind. And so it's just like, you know, like.

Renee (19:53)
for herself.

I can relate

to your client so, so much because something, yes, the same thing happens to me and it's still kind of ongoing with this interaction with a supplier that I have. And every time I talk to them, which is on a daily basis, they want to bring up, next time that we have such and such meeting, are you gonna go out with us?

Mara DeMauro (20:17)
I know. I was thinking about you a lot.

Renee (20:43)
are you gonna drink because I remember you saying last time you didn't because you have training.

Mara DeMauro (20:48)
Mm-hmm.

Renee (20:50)
I'm sorry, remembers, first of all, I'm like, why are you remembering so like in detail my life? Why is it affecting you so much? And, you know, I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, whatever. I think I'm in a much, much better place now to where I could just literally flat out say I don't drink. At the time, I was pretty new into it and into those situations where I usually go out with everybody. didn't. I was new to this sort of leadership.

Mara DeMauro (20:53)
Mm-hmm.

Right. Right.

Renee (21:20)
position and I didn't want to be seen as, she doesn't hang, she's not a part of this group, blah, blah, blah. And I stuck to my guns. I was like, hey, I did give sort of a blanket excuse if you want to call it that. I was actually training at the time, so it was easier for me to kind of use that instead of just saying, I don't drink. ⁓ But this go round, I think it's coming up in June actually, if they press me on it, I'm

Mara DeMauro (21:42)
Exactly.

Renee (21:50)
much more suited to just flat out be like, yeah, I just, I just don't really drink. So yeah, it's interesting.

Mara DeMauro (21:55)
Right. Yeah.

I exactly like it's such a practice to get to that point of being confident enough and being like even being playful, like, no, bro, you kidding me? I don't want to wake up with a hangover. Good luck. You know, like being with it or just like, no, I'm good. You know, or but we were talking through this too. And I was like a really easy way to kind of deflect that. Like someone asking you if you want to drink, but you don't want to deal with the whole thing.

Renee (22:11)
Yes.

Mara DeMauro (22:25)
just tell them you are in a wellness challenge or you're, you know, people don't really question that because people automatically think like working out and eating are the only concepts of wellbeing, you know, the main ones. And, and so that's just like an easy one, I feel like, um, to use that people don't really push on. And, uh, we also walked through how like,

Renee (22:39)
Right?

Mara DeMauro (22:52)
Because exactly, she didn't want to be perceived as like, oh, she's not bonding with the team now because she's not going out. Like there's so much pressure there. But then also she was like, yeah, but I'm going to wake up feeling really good the next day and I'm not going to be dying at the meetings that we have to sit inside all day and concentrate. Like I'm going to actually feel good while everyone else is going to be like dying. And so was like, yeah, you know, it's, really helpful in those moments of

when you're trying to make a decision is like weighing out, you know, as basic as that might seem is like, yeah, you can choose to do. Yeah. Or you can choose to, know, so which one feels better for you. And she was like, yeah, actually like that sounds way better.

Renee (23:30)
playing it hard.

I'm so excited to hear how it goes for her because the same thing happened to me the next morning. Bro, there are so many people who are hung over in that meeting and I'm just sitting back like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yes. And did I miss out on some of like their potential inside jokes later on? Sure. Was there a part of me that was like,

Mara DeMauro (23:44)
Me too.

Renee (24:10)
a little bit of FOMO in the experience maybe and like, yes, trying to maybe understand people in a different way, yes. But the overarching feeling I had was hell yeah. I stuck to my guns, I did what I said I was gonna do. I think that's, so that part of it, I think is my biggest takeaway is trusting yourself enough to do.

what you say that you're going to do. And you are literally creating new habits when you do that. You are unraveling years of doing the same thing that is not for your betterment, for your life, your mental health, physical health, emotional health. You are unraveling those things. So it's just, it's going to take time for as long as it has taken you to get to this point with the habits that you do have.

you have to think of it on the flip side too. It's habit building and not getting down on yourself if you do slip up, but being honest with yourself too. And it just feels really good. Like it feels good to stay true to yourself in those situations. So I'm really excited to hear her report back. Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (25:27)
I know I am too.

I'm like, geez, that's a lot, you know, and cause we were also bringing up the topic of like, it's really easy. Cause now a lot of things are remote, you know, to be behind a screen and then, oh my gosh. And then you have like these all hands meeting. have another client, he has an all hands meeting, you know, in Florida. And it's like, you go from being in your little space behind the screen to being in person now.

for like days on end, you're on from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. and you do it again and again. And even that alone, whether or not you're drinking is like exhausting. then, I feel like, I'm curious anyway, I guess I shouldn't say I feel like, but I am curious if people are really starting to feel that shift now. Like, because before we were,

Renee (25:57)
Yeah.

Yes.

Mara DeMauro (26:20)
face to face every day, all day, going to happy hour anyway. And maybe that space kind of is, I don't know, I'm just like, how are people actually doing that? Like I'm exhausted just thinking of it. I wonder if people are feeling the weight of that more now because we are so used to being in this virtual realm. I don't know.

Renee (26:34)
Mmm. Yeah.

think so. Think about

meeting someone for the first time that you've never met before, that you have no idea how they're going to be, and then in a corporate setting, and then amplify that times however many people you have to meet, and then also amplify that by how long you're in these meetings with other people. So just including all of these different aspects of

figuring out other people and the anxiety and the exhaustion and just all of the four rooms. We've talked about, I don't know if I've actually talked about this on our podcast, but there's this proverb that my grandma taught me about. And it's like us as humans, we are a house and we've got four rooms, emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental. Think about all of those rooms like,

imploding in one, you know, they're like amplified like crazy. And I guess just to like backtrack to be a well balanced human, you're supposed to visit that each one of those rooms every single day. So, so think of that in terms of like, all this new experience and meeting people and you know, just all of those things. So yeah, I mean, I think in those arenas, it's the easy button.

to be like, yeah, let's have a drink and unwind and not feel so. But then it's like, okay, what if you reach your thresholds and you end up saying something that you didn't wanna say or end up doing something that you didn't wanna do and then you have all this additional anxiety and then all this additional physical shit, all this additional stuff that you can't sleep well and perform at your highest, all of these things. So it's just like, it's all related.

Mara DeMauro (28:28)
Right.

Right.

Mm-hmm. It really is. Yeah. TVD.

Renee (28:42)
Yeah. Dang.

Yeah, I just

love that we're... That's the other thing too is, from this weekend, just I'm in awe of how adaptable we are as humans. We like to think of it or sometimes we go to the negative straight off because that's just how we are. We try to protect ourselves.

Mara DeMauro (29:01)
Mm-hmm.

Renee (29:13)
So a lot of the times we think of like worst case scenario before we think of all the things that are going right. But in this instance, it's like when you start to really look at your relationship between yourself and how you're living your life, we just have this incredible ability to change. But you have the choice in which direction you want that to go.

Mara DeMauro (29:36)
Mm.

Renee (29:42)
And it's not as easy as saying that. I understand that. It's not just like, yeah, let's just make like one decision. I know a lot bigger than that, but I am just so grateful and in such awe of humans in general because understanding so many people's stories and their experiences and what they've gone through and how they've picked themselves up and where they are now and how you can, it's just accessible to you if you...

Mara DeMauro (30:09)
Mm-hmm.

Renee (30:11)
want to do the work and make the change.

Mara DeMauro (30:15)
100%. Yeah. So beautifully said. And I'm also thinking about the weekend and just how grateful I am, you know, to like have a friend like you that's like willing to like come up and have a slumber party and like talk about fun business things and go skateboarding and like go surfing and play and do a photo shoot. And like, we're not, you know, it's not centered around

Renee (30:27)
Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (30:44)
getting boozed up the whole time. and that, you know, I think about, you know, several years ago, that was the center point. was like, first we need the alcohol, then we decide everything else. And, and then I'm like, okay, this feels more like childlike, like playful, kind of like light, like before, you know, high school.

Renee (30:46)
Yeah.

Mm.

Mara DeMauro (31:13)
When I wasn't, you know, we had slumber parties all the time. We had photo shoots, we'd play, we'd play on the trampoline, we'd go swimming, da da da da. And like, we're doing all these things. And I'm like, yeah, that's just like, it's like wholesome. I'm like, this is fun and cute. So yeah, I'm, I'm grateful for you.

Renee (31:20)
Yeah.

It's vibrant. Yeah, yeah. So much less dull.

Yeah, grateful for you too. Honestly, you've opened this door for me too, just to be more playful in general. Like reconnecting with that part of myself, like picking up my lacrosse stick, taking out, dusting off the freaking skateboard that's been sitting in my garage forever. You know, it's been a point where I'm like, should I just get rid of this? Cause I don't do it.

like, no, let's break it out. Let's have some fun. And yeah, I think it's ⁓ uncomfortable when you're an adult because there's this societal pressure of having to be serious. I don't know, like you see two women in their 30s who are trying to learn how to skateboard again, and you're like, hey, that's kind of what? ⁓ But that's the

Mara DeMauro (32:18)
Alright. Right.

Renee (32:23)
amazing part of understanding that this is what living life is. And I think when I was drinking the way that I was, know, God, dude, 20, 20 plus probably drinks a week and just financially how much I'm spending on alcohol and how much my life legit was, that was the epitome of my life was when was I going to

Mara DeMauro (32:46)
Mm-hmm.

Renee (32:50)
Not when was I going to drink next, but that's all I did on the weekend. And I would sit back and be like, man, is this really what I have to show for my life? When someone asks me, what do you like to do? And I'm thinking back like, man, what did I even fucking do this weekend? I just really went out and drank. And what a dull, boring thing to say. You know, and I was living that too, just internally.

Mara DeMauro (33:09)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm. Mmm.

Renee (33:20)
⁓ I remember just if I look back in my journal, it's just being like, man, what's...

this is it. Like, there's so much more than this. But I'm just, yeah, thank God that the synchronicities line up the way that they did to kind of pull me out of that hole. So I'm happy, happy to be in this space. Yeah.

Mara DeMauro (33:27)
Hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Love,

love sharing our stories and, ⁓ yeah. Where, where can people find you,

Renee (33:55)
Yeah, you can find me on Instagram at Coach underscore r Adams. And I did want to mention too, if you are looking for any non alcoholic options, I love going to sachet in Charleston. They are non alcoholic bottle shop. Every time I come and visit more, I'm like, this has to be on our agenda. So if you are looking for options, I highly, highly recommend sachet. And then of course you can always, you know, on my Instagram and link tree. ⁓

Mara DeMauro (34:14)
You

Renee (34:24)
There are some options there for some discounts on some non-alcoholic options, and you can always DM me or message us on the podcast email if you have any questions about where to find some non-alcoholic options. Where can they find you, Mara?

Mara DeMauro (34:40)
Yeah, on Instagram at Mara DiMaro. Excited to be here and yeah, hope you all have a beautiful day. We will see you next time.

Renee (34:50)
Until next time, bye.

Mara DeMauro (34:51)
Ciao!