Brother Sister Whatever
A comedy podcast about siblings, family chaos, emotional spirals, and oversharing gone wild.
Hosted by real-life siblings Lisa and Josh, Brother Sister Whatever is your bi-weekly dose of hilarious banter, hot takes, nostalgic throwbacks, and unfiltered real talk.
Each episode features fan-favorite segments like Weekly What If, the This or That Showdown, and our signature mix of sibling battles and brutally honest conversations.
From childhood memories and awkward adulting moments to regret confessions and love/hate debates—nothing’s off-limits here.
New episodes drop every other Thursday on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts.
Real Talk. Zero Chill.
Brother Sister Whatever
No Chill #6: The Episode About Balancing Wellness with Simple Joys
This episode delves into the fine line between self-care and self-indulgence, exploring how we can nurture ourselves meaningfully without falling into the trap of excess. With personal insights and discussions on the impact of social media, we uncover the importance of authentic self-care practices.
• Rediscovering childhood joys as a means of self-care
• The significance of defining real self-care beyond superficial trends
• Understanding the difference between self-care and self-indulgence
• Strategies for finding balance in self-care routines
• The role of boundaries in maintaining emotional health
• Navigating self-care in the era of social media
• Guest insights on mindfulness and its effects on self-care practices
• Encouragement to prioritize personal well-being over societal expectations
• A call to reflect on self-care practices and share experiences with others
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New episodes every other Thursday.
Bring your feelings. We’ll bring ours.
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Brother Sister. Whatever I'm, lisa, Josh is off somewhere. Fun doing something great, so I'm flying solo this week. Today we're going to dive into a topic that's pretty much always on my mind the fine line between self-care and self-indulgence. We often hear about self-care as a way to recharge and nurture ourselves, but where do we draw the line and does that line look different depending on who you are? I want to explore how self-care practices vary between the genders, how they can sometimes tip into self-indulgence, and how we can all find a balance that works for us. And let's not forget how social media plays into all of this, how it shapes our views on what self-care should look like and sometimes makes us feel like we're not doing enough. It's about taking care of ourselves without feeling guilty or falling into excess. So let's break it all down and see where we can all improve our approach to self-care. Grab your tea or matcha or, if you're like me, an iced coffee, and let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Let's start with the weekly. What if? Here's the question what if your only self-care options were things you loved doing as a kid? Would it still work? Kid self-activities are basically self-care in disguise. Think about it Drawing, running around outside or just playing with no agenda those things still recharge you, even if we call them something fancier.
Speaker 1:Now, when I look back at my childhood, self-care wasn't really something I planned or even thought about. It was just a natural part of who I was. I always had my nose in a book. At the time. Some of my favorites were Babysitter's Club, sweet Valley High, nancy Drew and Goosebumps. A trip to the library was an exciting venture Reading for hours, getting lost in stories and worlds far away. It was a way to unplug and retreat into a world of imagination and relaxation. If I wasn't doing that then I was probably drawing or sketching Now.
Speaker 1:Could those sane childhood activities serve as self-care today? I definitely think so. Do you remember a few years back, when adult coloring books were so popular? I cannot begin to tell you how many of those I have lying around waiting for me. We're constantly being pulled in so many different directions.
Speaker 1:Now Life feels a little more complicated. We have more responsibilities, more distractions, and self-care can sometimes feel like another thing to check off a list. I can certainly relate to that Cleaning, laundry, groceries insert self-care moment here, homework with the kids, meal prep, rinse and repeat. It feels grounding to get back to the simpler things that once brought us peace, and maybe that's the kind of self-care we really need, something that brings us back to ourselves. I'm realizing that those childhood activities weren't just pastimes. They were actually powerful forms of self-care in their own right.
Speaker 1:So what about you? What would your kid self self-care look like? I would love to hear from you. So please share your thoughts on social at brothersisterwhatever.
Speaker 1:All right, so let's kick things off by defining self-care and self-indulgence. We hear these terms tossed around a lot, but do we really know what they mean and how do they affect our self-esteem? I'm going to break it down. Self-care is all about activities that promote your long-term well-being, things that support mental, emotional and physical health. So think drinking water, healthy meals, exercise, taking time for yourself and setting boundaries. When you prioritize real self-care, you reinforce that you're worthy of care and attention. This builds self-respect and confidence. It helps you feel capable and in control, which strengthens self-worth, and it leads to better physical and mental health, which directly impacts how you see yourself. Feeling strong and energized makes it easier to have a positive self-image.
Speaker 1:When we talk about self-care, the first thing most people picture, including myself, is candles, bubble baths and face masks, and while, yes, those things are self-care, that's not all that it is. In fact, it's actually a small part of what self-care really is, and for men it might look different too. It could be hitting the gym, having quiet time to recharge, or spending time on a hobby that makes them feel like themselves again. But then there's the other side. Self-indulgence is about temporary pleasure, things like binge watching Netflix for hours, mindlessly scrolling through social media or overindulging in comfort food. Overindulgence often feels good in the moment, but can leave you feeling worse afterwards. It can lead to procrastination, avoidance of real self-care, making you feel stuck or unmotivated, and when it becomes a way to escape stress rather than deal with it well, that can make you feel like you lack discipline or control, which, in turn, can hurt confidence over time. So please note that I want to re-clarify that there is a difference between self-indulgence and over-indulgence.
Speaker 1:Balance is key. I don't think there's a wrong answer here, but I do think it's important to ask yourself is this thing actually helping me feel better long-term, or is it just a quick fix? And what can we do instead to really take care of ourselves? How can we find balance, being intentional.
Speaker 1:When self-care is done well, it reinforces that you're valuable and deserving of true care, which helps self-esteem, and when occasional and mindful self-indulgence can be enjoyable without harming your self-worth. It's about knowing when to treat yourself and when to challenge yourself. You can only run on empty for so long before you crash, and when you do, that's when you start getting short-tempered, losing motivation or feeling like you're stuck in a rut. That's when indulgence takes over, because instead of real rest, you're looking for quick fixes. You scroll, you drink, you overeat, you disconnect, and then what you still feel exhausted, and now you're also frustrated with yourself. That's the cycle that keeps people stuck.
Speaker 1:As I was researching this episode, I was going through you know all the lists of self-care options. I admit it, I was a bit taken aback that boundaries are considered a part of self-care, but the more that I think about it, the more it makes sense. Setting boundaries is actually one of the most important ways that I could take care of myself. It's not just about relaxing activities. It's about protecting my time, energy, emotions. For example, saying no when I'm stretched too thin or stepping back from toxic situations helps prevent burnout and emotional exhaustion. By setting boundaries, I'm able to prioritize my own needs, which creates space for the things that truly nurture me. It's not always comfortable, but it's necessary. I need to respect my own limits, because when I do, I'm able to show up better for others as well. In the end, it ensures that I'm not giving too much of myself away and leaving myself empty Again. It's all about finding that balance and taking care of my own well-being, and this is definitely something I've struggled with a lot.
Speaker 1:I am also still sometimes confusing self-indulgence with self-care. For a long time, I equated self-care with buying myself things, you know, those small treats, anything that gave me like a moment of joy. It felt like I was taking care of myself, something just for me. Over the last couple of years, I've realized that some of the things that make me feel best are not necessarily the most fun to do in the moment. The things I know I should be doing for myself, like eating healthier, exercising, always feels like obligatory tasks rather than acts of self-care. I have to purposely and continuously remind myself that the end result is worth it. I'm seeing these things as something nurturing, not just for my body, but for my spirit too. When my body is healthy, my mind is clearer, less cluttered, so to speak, I can put my best self forward. That doesn't mean I have it all figured out. Nope, I'm still new enough to this real self-care that it is not a routine yet and it's still very fragile habit to break. I fail more than I succeed, but you can't change what you don't know.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about the whole self-care trend that's on social media. Don't get me wrong. Taking care of yourself is important, but I feel like there's a trap here, the way it's presented online. Self-care has become this curated, polished version of what it should look like. You know those face masks, the bubble bath, the really expensive wellness products. Everyone's posting these perfect, serene moments and sure it's nice to look at, but let's be honest who's the time or the money? And what happens when those things don't feel like enough? Or, worse, when you feel pressure to do all of that, just to be doing self-care right? Like, are you even doing it right if your self-care doesn't look like a spa day?
Speaker 1:I have a love-hate relationship with social media. I thought that by giving myself the gift of time to be by myself and scroll on social media or binge watch the newest show, that I was filling my cup While treating myself felt good in the moment, it wasn't truly nurturing me the way that I needed. I realized that my cup was never actually getting filled. I was still feeling empty and depleted and tired, always tired. And then there's just feeling shitty about all the perfect people living perfect lives in the perfect outfits that just felt so out of reach for me I couldn't compare or relate.
Speaker 1:The thing is, social media often gives us this idea that self-care needs to be a whole production. You need to have the fancy candles, you need the skincare routine and you need the perfect cozy corner to curl up in. We've been conditioned to believe that it has to be a specific, almost luxury experience, but I'm catching on. We're chasing these ideas, sometimes at the expense of what we actually need. Self-care is not a competition or a performance. In the end, I went on a social media break. I allowed myself to regroup, rethink what was important to me, and while I eventually did return to some platforms, I made sure that I was exposing myself to the accounts or pages that were lifting me up.
Speaker 1:What if your self-care looks like sitting in silence for 10 minutes or reading a book that you've been meaning to finish? Or maybe it's just taking a walk without your phone. It's personal. Sometimes the best self-care is simply finding what works for you, so let's stop falling into the trap of feeling like we need to keep up with everyone else's versions of self-care. You do you and that's enough. Today I have a special guest joining me, my friend and sister in law, jennifer. I couldn't think of a better person to chat with, and Jen has a really great perspective on what it means for her. So let's dive in. One of the first questions that I would like to ask you is how do you personally define the difference between self-care and self-indulgence?
Speaker 2:So a few months ago I definitely blurred the line between self-indulgence and self-care. I started trying to be more healthy by going to the gym five to six times a week, but it became an obsession. Going to the gym five to six times a week, but it became an obsession. I thought if I changed my body I would, I would fix myself, and it wasn't enough. I would have also said getting my nails done was my self-care, which nothing was.
Speaker 2:It was very surface level. My definition of self-care has now evolved to something much more deep and intentional.
Speaker 1:In what ways?
Speaker 2:It's about mindfulness, knowing what I'm feeling and what I need in any given moment throughout the day. So whether that's a nap because I'm exhausted I had a bad night's sleep, or meditation or a good cry, a huge part now is meditation because it saved my life. I meditate sometimes 10 times a day. A big part of my self care now is boundaries. I had to learn how to set boundaries because I didn't have any. So setting boundaries with my family and cutting out toxic people from my life because I'm much more careful and selective about what I expose my mind to now and, honestly, reading is a feels much better than just mindlessly scrolling social media.
Speaker 1:And what about self-indulgence?
Speaker 2:On the other hand, self-indulgence used to be a way that I would cope with my stress and I would avoid my reality. It was instant gratification, but it didn't fill up my cup. So I would spend hours scrolling through TikTok or Instagram. After the kids went to bed I would watch Netflix shows, overly indulged spending on Amazon or Uber Eats or restaurants, getting expensive Starbucks drinks. Nothing really filled me up. It didn't help me grow. It didn't recharge me. It was again very surface level. Now I recognize that self-care is more about long-term wellness, self-love, and not about short-term pleasure.
Speaker 1:Do you think that social media has changed the way we see self-care?
Speaker 2:So social media. I went on there as a way to kind of escape and I found people like my people that were in situations like me moms that were venting about their kids, or wives venting about their husbands. I felt like, oh, I'm not alone, this is how we are. It ended up robbing me of true healing because I was just absorbing more negativity and I would use that as my me time instead of feeding myself with positivity. It was an escape and it brought me down instead of bringing me up.
Speaker 1:All right. So what is your go-to self-care?
Speaker 2:So, without a doubt, right now it's meditation. I know I just talked about it so much. My family thinks I'm this hippy dippy now, but it has completely transformed my mindset and I was in a constant state of fight or flight, on edge. I was irritable, I was snappy with my family, but meditation has shifted my baseline. So, on an emotional scale of zero being calm to a hundred, being enraged, I idled at a 75 daily, and now I wake up because of meditation at a zero, and so I'm able to catch those emotions bubbling up and calm myself so that my emotions don't control me. In the beginning, I'll admit it felt very cheesy. It didn't feel like it was for me. It didn't feel right. Then a full year went by. I tried it again and I pushed through and with trial and error, I found my coaches and practices that I loved and I go back to them time and time again and I'm finding new people that I really like now. Honestly, meditation has healed more of me than weekly individual therapy did in one year. That's amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So do you think this is now your thing? No, it's going to be something that you keep going back to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, this is something that will be with me forever.
Speaker 1:All right, that's all I've got for today. I hope this episode gave you something to think about. Just remember, self-care doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. It's about what makes you feel like you again. So, whether it is a face mask or hiding in the bathroom for five minutes of peace, exercising or eating healthy, go for it. In the meantime, hit me up on Insta, let me know what your kid self self-care ideas are and, if you like this episode, share it with a friend or, better yet, with someone who needs a reminder to take care of themselves. Thanks for listening and I'll see you next time. Bye.
