Brother Sister Whatever
A comedy podcast about siblings, family chaos, emotional spirals, and oversharing gone wild.
Hosted by real-life siblings Lisa and Josh, Brother Sister Whatever is your bi-weekly dose of hilarious banter, hot takes, nostalgic throwbacks, and unfiltered real talk.
Each episode features fan-favorite segments like Weekly What If, the This or That Showdown, and our signature mix of sibling battles and brutally honest conversations.
From childhood memories and awkward adulting moments to regret confessions and love/hate debates—nothing’s off-limits here.
New episodes drop every other Thursday on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts.
Real Talk. Zero Chill.
Brother Sister Whatever
No Chill #9: The Lies We Live: Self Deception Uncovered
Have you ever considered the powerful effect of the lies we tell ourselves? In this enlightening episode, we explore the insidious narratives that creep into our daily lives, often clouding our self-perception and preventing us from realizing our true potential. We open with an intriguing "what if" scenario, prompting you to reflect on the dreams you might have forgotten and how they shape your identity.
Listen as we unpack common self-deceptive phrases, such as "I'll be happy when" and "money doesn't matter." We challenge these beliefs and look closely at the impact of societal pressures on our mindset and self-worth. With humor and sincerity, we also delve into conversations about parenting, revealing how these lies influence our relationships with our children and affect the messages we communicate about acceptance and self-love.
This episode encourages you to rediscover your truth and offers practical insights on how to combat self-deceptive narratives. Our heartfelt discussions are designed to illuminate the path towards greater self-awareness while fostering openness in your personal connections. Join us and share your experiences; let’s face the lies together, and empower each other on our journeys towards authenticity. Subscribe, share, and leave us a review to keep the conversation alive!
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New episodes every other Thursday.
Bring your feelings. We’ll bring ours.
Hi everyone, welcome back to Brother, Sister. Whatever, I'm Lisa.
Josh:And I'm Josh. In today's episode we are tackling something that we all do lies, we tell ourselves.
Lisa:From the little things we say to avoid discomfort to the big lies that hold us back, we all have them.
Josh:But, as usual, let's start with our weekly what if?
Lisa:Okay, this one's a good one. What if you could remember every dream you've ever had? How would it change your perception of yourself? This is a difficult one for me, though, because I don't remember the perception of myself. I would think I'm fucking batshit crazy, or like weird to say the least. Do you know what I mean?
Josh:Well, now you actually sparked.
Lisa:I remember a couple of really continuous like dreams that I would have, um that were like more like nightmares right something you know, but uh, yeah, now I remember and have you ever been in a situation where you'll wake up knowing you've had a dream but like, literally 10 seconds later you're like what happened? Yeah, if you could now remember all of the dreams that you're having, what would be like? Give me one or two words to describe what you would say about yourself.
Josh:Dark, chaotic.
Lisa:Yeah, I'm going to say very least, weird. I don't know, I don't. So here, let's end it with - I would not want to remember all of my dreams.
Josh:Yeah, I don't think so, Me either. Maybe that's why we don't, maybe it's subconscious, maybe it's not even that we forget the dreams, but our mind is saying you better forget that dream, buddy.
Lisa:Yeah, I wouldn't want to remember any of mine. I'm good. I think I have enough issues to tackle in my waking life.
Lisa:So what are some of the lies that we tell ourselves? Common things that people lie to themselves about - I'll be happy when...
Josh:How many times have you said that to yourself?
Josh:right?
Lisa:I have time to do that later... I'm fine...
Josh:Oh yeah.
Lisa:I can change them... I'm not good enough... I don't care what people think... it's too late for me...
Lisa:That was something we were talking about last episode.
Josh:Yeah.
Lisa:I'm over it... I don't need help... I can do it by myself... Money doesn't matter... I'm not like other people... all
Lisa:All these things.
Josh:Money doesn't buy happiness.
Lisa:Well, maybe.
Josh:Well, that's what I'm saying. It's a lie.
Lisa:Yeah, You why know in many ways. Why do you think we do that?
Josh:do that? Yeah, I think we try be something we're not at times, I think, depending on who's in front of us perception. I think sometimes - we lie to benefit our kids. Where we'll be like kids, where we'll be like, you you know, and we technically do, but because it's our kid, we don't.
Josh:You know, Fallon will wear something and I'll be like "Fallon, like, come on, we're not going to wear that to school,
Josh:I'm saying "u you be you, you be unique, you be different. Who cares what other people think?
Josh:But at the same time, like you can't wear that. So you know, I feel like we're doing this because it's a defense mechanism. You know that we use, but the moment that it reflects on us in some funny way, we contradict ourselves. I'm not comfortable going out with unicorn pants or whatever, even though I say it doesn't matter what other people think. If I'm saying these things to myself and not so much to my kids, once again, I think that that becomes a defense mechanism.
Lisa:Self-preservation.
Josh:You know, I don't know how many times I said I don't give a shit what they fucking think. But really you do To a degree, yeah, you know to a degree. Yeah, because that's why you're so mad. You're so mad because you give a shit.
Lisa:Yeah, well, I think there's people out there that have created a really great poker face.
Josh:Yeah, that's true.
Lisa:But you never know what they're truly feeling inside.
Josh:Yeah, I'd like to say that in the public eye I'm the same way. I could say the same exact phrase with someone that is not close to me, and not shed a tear, nothing and say the same exact phrase, but with someone I care about and have a completely different situation. You know what I mean. Yeah true. So yeah, I mean, I guess that is true, you know, but deep down there's some form of caring, you know, with some of these lies that we tell ourselves.
Lisa:So there's good intentions, is what you're saying.
Josh:Yeah, I think it's more good intention than anything else.
Lisa:And are you specifically referring to? Like the lies that we would tell other people, like our kids or whatever, as opposed to the lies that we tell ourselves? I think it's a little or do you think it's a little of both?
Josh:I think it's a little bit of both, like I truly don't care what you wear, but I care about what the other people think. So I'm not lying, but at the same time I'm telling you you can wear whatever you want. Who cares what other people think? But I care.
Lisa:Yeah.
Josh:Okay, like I had a conversation with Fallon, I say, fallon, are you going to wear those pants? You know, with that, like with your unicorn hoodie, I'm like, oh my gosh. They were like you know, red, yellow, green, blue. It was like a little much right. And she's like yeah. And I said it was like a little much right and she's like yeah. And I said I said are you sure I go? Like? You know people are going to notice you, you know, like it's a lot, and she's like I don't care what others think good for her and I said okay, but it was the conversation we had after.
Josh:I said okay, I said so, you don't care. And she goes no, I say okay. So a boy comes up to you or girl comes up to you and says, oh my gosh, fallon, like those pants are really bright, you know. And she's like, yeah, I don't care. And I say okay, what happens if they're like you know they tease you because of your pants? What if they're like Fallon, those pants, they don't look great on you, or whatever, and she goes.
Josh:I'll just tell them that you know, I have a good heart and I don't care about what they think and I'm perfectly fine with that because I'm going to be me and I'm just like all right, wear your fucking pants. Yeah, you know, wear your fucking pants, girl. So you know when, when, uh, and I definitely have to give a little bit of credit to her mom for that she, she's always trying to get Fallon to just, you know, like you're a woman, you know you're you go, you know you do your thing. So you know, I'd like to think, you know I have my part in that too, but definitely you know there's something going on there that's giving her this.
Josh:You know this confidence thing, but let's argue here, right, if a kid does actually tease her, yeah, she's gonna come home upset of course so you see how that line is blurred yeah I guess, no matter what you care, you can say you don't, and maybe to maybe some form of surface level you don't. But deep down there's something that makes you kind of like I'm not gonna wear these pants again yeah you know, and that just breaks my heart.
Lisa:It's like just wear the fucking unicorn pants, jesus, like who cares. I think that's something that's changed over the years is giving a shit about what other people think.
Josh:Yeah, you know, I mean I will, I yeah, you know what. But that's a good point actually what you're saying, because I definitely think that we were just talking last time about age. I definitely think that I was, maybe through my relationships, programmed a little bit to really care about certain things, um, you know, especially like materialistic and like looking a certain way and and you know, and, and I've definitely gotten, um, you know, quite a, quite a few pieces of humble pie as well that I had to be dished. But I feel like I've kind of grown to the point where now, like I truly can confidently say like I really don't give a shit, you know, like I don't care if I have a Porsche or if I have a fucking Corolla. So that, for me, has definitely shifted in me hitting my, me getting into my 40s now. But it's not about just I have to have these things, these things have to be.
Josh:Like the look of it maybe yeah, now it's more, it's more inside and more like what makes you feel. Yeah, you know.
Lisa:Yeah, oh yeah, I get it, I get it. Let's look at some of the reasons why we actually tell ourselves these things. Would it be a fear of failure that may be in your eyes if you weren't eating the great steak at Gibby's or driving the good car that it looked like you weren't?
Josh:successful.
Lisa:Yeah.
Josh:For sure. What about you?
Lisa:How have I lied to myself over the years? Yeah, when do I start? I think I'm guilty of all of those you know lies that we kind of I kind of ran through at the beginning as examples. I think I've been my worst critic. I've always kind of I don't care, I don't care, but I do, and I keep it all as like armor, almost right. And it's been really hard to break that cycle, because you can't really change anything if you don't know why you're doing something. Right? Yeah, what are you getting out of this behavior, so to speak?
Josh:Right.
Lisa:It's all been tied into my self-worth, and so I'm not good enough.
Josh:Yeah.
Lisa:Everybody else is more important than me. You know all of that stuff.
Josh:Well, that can also go into like a codependent category, right, yep, and you know so. I mean, I think the reason why we say those lies to ourselves, or one of the many reasons, is because we try, we keep telling ourselves we're not going to care, you know, and um, but we do, but hey, I'm no jordan peterson, right? So have you ever been in a situation where you had even just a simple argument with your better half and it's a little too personal, and obviously the kid says what's wrong and you make a white lie? I mean, we're not going to trauma, dump our kids right?
Lisa:No, not at all. I just tell them it's none of your business.
Josh:Oh, do you really? Yeah, oh, wow, that's good so that's between me and Daddy.
Lisa:We're good though, Don't worry.
Josh:There's a boundary right there. That's a good boundary. My gosh.
Lisa:I come from a place where you don't need to know everything, about everything. Do you know what I mean?
Josh:Yeah, it's weird I guess I just look at it differently Like they are my business and I'm their business. I would feel like that's a white lie in a weird way. I would feel like me saying none of your business is the white lie. Really, yeah, I don't know why I think like that.
Lisa:But here's the thing.
Josh:It's weird eh.
Lisa:I guess. No, I don't think it's weird. I think whatever you feel, you feel or however you think you think. But I try to look at it from like um, these are not necessarily my kids, but these are people that are going to go out into the real world Right, and in the real world there are people that have conversations, people that you know that have conversations and you don't need to involve yourself in it.
Josh:True.
Lisa:Because not everything is about you.
Josh:That's a good point.
Lisa:And so not everything is about is your business.
Josh:Yeah, and let's be honest, at their age they think everything is their business. They do, they do.
Lisa:So that's a good point, and so I think just putting just, and I'm not mean about it, it's just, it's none of your business.
Josh:Yeah, but I think that's a good point, you know, to bring up. You know, like I would almost want to now add that in as a parenting tool in certain scenarios, like let me give you an example yeah, dad, why does that guy have blah, blah, blah, what? Oh well, I don't know. But instead of me making up the why, that could be a practice moment. That could be a moment where I go, well, it's none of our business. Like, come on, who cares what he's doing? It's not up to us.
Josh:You know what I mean. So, yeah, I like that.
Lisa:I'm going to put that on the list. Fun, take what's the most common lie.
Josh:you catch yourself telling yourself Okay, go.
Lisa:Someone else will do it. Someone else will take care of it.
Josh:Oh shit Okay. That's probably not a lie, but Well, it's something you tell yourself, yeah. So yeah, it's technically a lie, because you're saying, oh, someone else will do it, but you know that you are going to do it. Yeah, so that's a lie.
Lisa:That's true, there you go. Okay, right, so that qualifies.
Josh:But that's the one you say the most. Oh, yeah, Okay, yeah, Okay. The lie. I could probably think, without getting too dramatic, that I'm not enough. I would say that that's probably the thing that always pops into my head at times. You know where I have to almost argue with myself, Like you know, you see these fucking, you know therapists on their little Instagram reels and they're like you are enough.
Lisa:I love those.
Josh:But you know, and it's like yeah.
Lisa:It's like my drug of choice. Say more.
Josh:You know, and don't get me wrong, like I get it, they're just trying to help and they're just trying to say, like you know, and don't get me wrong, like I get it, they're just trying to help and they're just trying to say, like you know, but like I almost like I roll, but why do I I roll, and you know it's. I think it's something that we all go through, that we have to kind of fight with, and I think only now, at 40 years old, where I'm finally kind of coming like out of that, these are the times that we want to work on ourselves, like we want to look at the problems we have, you know, versus when we're 30 or even 20, you know, we're like we don't have fucking problems. You know what are you talking about? I'm perfect, you know.
Lisa:Yeah.
Josh:So I think that that plays.
Lisa:Or the problems that we do have are not about us. They're always about other people. Exactly Lies.
Josh:Yeah.
Lisa:So how do we stop telling ourselves these lies, Actually knowing that we're saying these things to ourselves? We're lying to ourselves about these things. Self-awareness that's a good start Well.
Josh:Self-awareness, I think, is number one, right. You need to know that there's a problem and not always trying to lean on someone else to say it. For you, to make you feel validated, you don't need the validation from someone else, and because you're looking for it, it all stems back to what we were talking about that everything is a lie, you know, and if I need the validation from you to tell me that I am enough, then I'm definitely not enough.
Lisa:What about lying to other people, but like all out lies? Have you ever? I'm sure in your life you have at least once or twice? Is there any that stick out to you that you want to talk about at all?
Josh:I think for men, I think you know the, I'm fine. You know women too, I'm sure, but you know.
Lisa:You know women too, I'm sure, but you know I think that that we were conditioned not to speak up you know, that's a very good point, and I'm sure women are too, you know.
Josh:But but I think women have a little bit more of a that, that friend, that that come like you know where it's like. No matter what it's like, you can say whatever it's like your own therapist. And men, you know, don't really have that, you know, and when we do we don't want to talk about it and it's because we're supposed to just be tough. So I think that this whole tough thing, you know, and how men are supposed to be, I think that that, you know, has probably been the biggest, the biggest thing for me.
Lisa:You Thinking back to my childhood, I used to actually like lie a lot. I think about the boys now and they'll say these lies and you're just like, you're so obvious about your lie that it's just like it's laughable. Do you know what I mean? I think it's a natural thing to test out your. You know I get it.
Lisa:But I lied a lot as a kid about stupid shit. Do you know like and not just to mom and dad, for example, oh, it could be like to friends. You know like? Oh, I was hanging out with so-and-so after school. Meanwhile I was at home doing fuck all. And why? Why did I do that? Like to make myself not look like, you know, like a friendless loser? I don't know I had friends, so why did I need to lie to my friends about hanging out with somebody I don't know? Then you have to remember what fucking lies you told so and so, and then you told somebody this, but you told that person that it's exhausting. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot around that time, like things would come back to haunt me. You know like, well, you said this fuck, yeah, I did a shit. You know, getting caught in little lies that I had told previously. You know yeah, so and and I don't you don't like that feeling.
Lisa:That feeling never told previously. You know, yeah, so and I don't. You don't like that feeling. That feeling never sits good with you. It's an icky feeling.
Josh:It is yeah, you know.
Lisa:There's no way of really like escaping lying altogether.
Josh:I mean I think I have PTSD when it comes to lying. So when the kids lie it's not good, you know. I try to tell them that if you just tell me the truth, I actually will be less mad.
Lisa:Yeah, you know. Oh, I've said that too.
Josh:It's something they have to go through. It's almost like they need to test how naive humans are, you know.
Lisa:I think it's about boundaries, Josh.
Josh:Oh, it could be about boundaries. I also think, though, that it's about how easy it is to get away with it, or not. Yeah, so I don't care about this specific thing. I care about the lie.
Lisa:Yep, okay, so let's wrap it up.
Josh:Well, that's it for today's episode. Let us know what's one lie you've been telling yourself that you are ready to stop believing.
Lisa:And don't forget to answer our what if? Question in the comments or message us on Instagram.
Josh:Make sure to follow, subscribe and share the podcast and, as always, we'll see you next time on Brother, Sister, Whatever.
Lisa:Bye.
