Brother Sister Whatever
A comedy podcast about siblings, family chaos, emotional spirals, and oversharing gone wild.
Hosted by real-life siblings Lisa and Josh, Brother Sister Whatever is your bi-weekly dose of hilarious banter, hot takes, nostalgic throwbacks, and unfiltered real talk.
Each episode features fan-favorite segments like Weekly What If, the This or That Showdown, and our signature mix of sibling battles and brutally honest conversations.
From childhood memories and awkward adulting moments to regret confessions and love/hate debates—nothing’s off-limits here.
New episodes drop every other Thursday on Spotify and everywhere you listen to podcasts.
Real Talk. Zero Chill.
Brother Sister Whatever
No Chill #15: FOMO: The Emotional Cocktail We Can't Stop Drinking
We dive deep into the psychology of FOMO, exploring why we feel it, how it impacts our mental health, and whether we're actually missing out or just falling for an illusion fueled by social media. This conversation reveals universal truths about our desire to keep up with others while questioning the need to compare ourselves at all.
• FOMO represents an emotional cocktail of envy, regret, and self-doubt often triggered by social media
• The joy of missing out (JOMO) involves learning to be content with your choices rather than constantly comparing
• Social media significantly amplifies FOMO, leading many to curate their feeds to protect mental health
• FOBO (fear of better options) keeps people from committing to plans while waiting for something better
• Teen and young adult FOMO differs from adult FOMO but stems from the same desire to be included
• Personal FOMO triggers include vacation envy, parenting comparisons, and body image insecurities
• Most of what we think we're missing isn't actually that amazing - our perception is often distorted
Like and subscribe so you don't miss out on our next episode, and drop your FOMO experiences in the comments!
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Welcome to Brother, sister, whatever, with Real Talk and Zero Chill. I'm Lisa.
Speaker 2:And I'm Josh. If you are into unfiltered conversations, hit that subscribe button and let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Okay. So today we're going to deep dive into FOMO, why we feel it, how it messes with our heads, and whether we're actually missing out or just falling for the illusion. Plus, we've got some hot takes, a this or that showdown and, of course, our weekly what? If so, let's get into it.
Speaker 2:Let's do it.
Speaker 1:So for our weekly, what if? The question is what if you had the power to instantly see what would have happened if you had said yes to every event or opportunity you ever skipped? But it is. You only get to see the past, so would you want to have the power to be able to see past events?
Speaker 2:To see past events that I didn't go see.
Speaker 1:That you never went, that you decided, you said no to.
Speaker 2:This is the great thing about my brain is I don't remember shit. So you know, like this is, you know I'd have to really like, really really think about this. I'm going to say I'm sure maybe something will pop up while you're talking, maybe, but I'll say this I try and I know it sounds cliche I try to have the least amount of regrets possible. So my mind doesn't really go there Like, oh man, if I would have went to that I could have saw so-and-so, you know, or whatever. Um, so right now nothing really comes to mind. I feel like everything kind of happens for a reason. I know this is boring so far for me.
Speaker 1:What about you? I think what you don't know won't hurt you yeah.
Speaker 1:What you don't know won't hurt you, why bother? Because if you've said I, what you don't know won't hurt you, like, why bother? Because if you've said no, and you didn't go, and they had, and you had the chance to like see what happened and you saw all of this fun, like. But then, on the flip side, sometimes your brain makes it out to be much more than it was, like, oh, I couldn't go to that because I didn't have a choice, I had something else planned or whatever the case, and you really wanted to go to that event.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And all of the things in your head that you missed. But really it was just like a boring dinner. Half the people left early Like it was nothing exciting. But you wouldn't know that really unless you had that hindsight.
Speaker 2:Unless, like someone took a video and was like look how much fun we're having.
Speaker 1:Unless you talk to somebody and they're like, yeah, it was boring as shit. And then you're like, okay, I didn't miss much. But you know, I don't know I could see both sides, but I don't know I could see both sides. I don't think I would want to.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I can see a lot of people having that like oh, if I would have went, or but, but, but, but you know so. So I definitely feel like there's probably a lot of people who feel like that.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, yeah, Would. Would you regret missing out even more. Would you realize you didn't actually miss anything? Great, I think I would have more FOMO having this power. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, have enough fucking FOMO in my life.
Speaker 2:Do you really?
Speaker 1:Why bring it in? For some things, yes, other things I don't give two shits about, but there's some things that and it's usually like, for example, like right now, it's all about vacations. I'm seeing everybody coming back from spring break vacations, all of these great trips, fucking Aruba and this and that, and I'm just like, yeah, I worked, I worked and watched the kids for half the week, anyway, whatever, well, anyway. So yeah, that's my take.
Speaker 2:my answer is no, I would not want the power me either I'm, I'm gonna yeah on that yeah, yeah, yeah, for me it just you know like, yeah, I get what you mean. You know, I see a picture of someone like um, you know like wherever, at the airport, you know the plane, and I'm just kind of like mexico was nice yeah and but but other than that I'm like you know, the next second. I'm kind of like boop.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So, Well, good for you.
Speaker 2:If people dwell on it, though that's hard.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that's it for the Weekly. What If? Why do we have FOMO?
Speaker 2:How many times have at least I heard where a man or a woman in a marriage is like, you know, oh my God. Like, oh, you know, I wish I was single. And the single people are like, oh, all I want to do is find a man or all I want to do is find a woman. You know that, that this, that you know. So it's like everyone is always after what the other one has or or whatever you know. So I mean that that to me that's the definition of like FOMO in a way, you know, and it's like it's wanting, it essentially.
Speaker 1:For me, I feel like it's wanting things that you don't have right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I mean, it's so the why somebody else has it, and you see that.
Speaker 1:That's that FOMO. You get FOMO. It's a what was it say here? Uh, it's an emotional cocktail of envy, regret and self-doubt, all served with a side of scrolling.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Side note, I've always envied people that go on vacation every year and I'm like, why the fuck man? Like why can't I go on vacation every year? And it's like that, that um perception of like being. It's untouchable, like you can't. You can't have that. Well, yeah, you could, but you just have to do X, y, z or change this or You're right.
Speaker 2:You're right that that makes a lot of sense. I mean to to pertaining at least to what you're saying about the vacations like oh I envy these people like that go every year. Vacations like, oh I envy these people like that go every year.
Speaker 2:they might not eat out, they might not um, by making sacrifices you don't see the behind the scenes I think that I, uh, especially turning 40, I really want to, like, I really want to get into travel. Compared to my gosh even five years ago, eh, now, like my kids, I want them to see everything I mean I want to see I don't even know. It's going to be an experience for them and I, in a way, Yep, oh, I agree, we haven't been on a vacation in years.
Speaker 1:We haven't been on a vacation in years. When I say vacation, I just want to clarify that I mean getting on a plane and going somewhere nice and warm and beautiful. Okay, the last time we went on a vacation was, like I'm going to say, almost six years ago. Okay, we've done trips Gone toagara falls, like those are great, but I'm I'm in need in like a lot of need for tropical breeze and you know the beach and oh, you just feed me.
Speaker 1:I don't want to think about it. You know, sit by the pool that I'm like dehydrated for that. Do you know that feeling where you're just like I need some? I need water.
Speaker 2:I used to think it was so overrated.
Speaker 1:I did too.
Speaker 2:I think responsibilities and everything as it creeps up on you becomes more and more a necessity yeah in many ways yeah, but also, like you said, that desire for experiences, right, yeah, I'm just, I'm dying for for some vacations I, uh, and I've had this little bit of a kind of almost like a longing since we're on this, even though it has nothing to do with FOMO Like a longing for a cabin. I don't know if it's an old age thing, but like a cabin, you know, like in the woods.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Fire bring the kids s'mores camping. I don't know why, but I feel like right now I wouldn't be able to choose, like if I got a cabin, there's no way I could have vacations.
Speaker 1:Well, yes, of course, and if I, had vacations.
Speaker 2:There's no way I could have a cabin.
Speaker 1:But again it goes back to sacrificing right which one's more important to you right now that you would be willing to like put on hold the other one, you know kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 1:But it's so funny because in the last few years I've thought we should go, we should buy a family cabin.
Speaker 2:That would be cool.
Speaker 1:Right Parenting FOMO I think I can relate to the most right. In what way? Just seeing other parents and the way that they are with their kids, it could be something as small as a discipline technique that works so well and you're like, why does?
Speaker 2:that not work for me Is that FOMO?
Speaker 1:Well it's.
Speaker 2:Is that FOMO, or is that like envy, or?
Speaker 1:I guess envy is part of. Yeah, I think it's all. Fomo means fear of missing out, so I'm not missing out on anything in that respect, but there's like an envy. It's like you're watching outside forces and there's that kind of envy part of it. I don't know I take it as FOMO. I could be wrong Listeners, let me know if I am but that's how I look at it. Social FOMO for sure. We've already discussed quite a few vacations, all that different kinds of stuff. Career FOMO I've had that. You see somebody successful doing something that they love doing and you're like man, why am I slogging away?
Speaker 2:I've definitely had that feeling before.
Speaker 1:Social media. That plays a huge part in FOMO.
Speaker 2:Huge yes, yes, yes, because it's, yeah, because a lot of it, though, is not real life.
Speaker 1:Who I follow is very curated, specifically because I want to avoid FOMO. I used to just scroll and see all kinds of things, right? People on vacation, people doing this, whatever, like the self-care routines you know that take three hours because you have the time for that shit, like that, right, and FOMO was a constant thing. You're like, oh my gosh, is this how I should be doing it? If I'm not doing it like this, like whatever, right?
Speaker 2:what about stuff with the kids?
Speaker 1:exactly parenting, those moms making the fucking lunches oh my gosh okay where we're like, the apples are cut like a butterfly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:So now I realize that that's not doing anything for me. It's actually making me feel worse about myself and so I've actually cut all of that shit off of my like. Don't follow anybody like that. You know who I follow now Mark Manson, mel Robbins, you know, like Jay Shetty, I think the only frivolous social medias that I follow are going to be like the HGTV stars, because I can't do it anymore. It makes me feel shitty and, like I just said, parents dropping your kids off at school and you bump into that mom friend and you're like hear about their vacation. You're already experiencing FOMO in real life. Who the fuck needs it when you're trying to get away scrolling right, jomo, jomo.
Speaker 2:Jomo.
Speaker 1:Jomo, the joy of missing out, learning to be content with your choices. Do we actually regret missing things or do we just think that we do?
Speaker 2:I think that we think we do yes.
Speaker 1:Exactly what if missing out is actually a good thing?
Speaker 2:I obviously have probably had FOMO before. I'm just I don't know. My brain is weird, you know, like I can't think properly sometimes.
Speaker 1:So I don't remember stuff. But you know what I think about you Is. I think that you are very like, you have a very, you have a vision like you have a direction right and you don't really you're very impervious to like outside noise. You're very focused on like this is what I want, this is where I'm going, this is what is happening that you don't let a lot of outside noise in. I've noticed that about you. Which fucking FOMO Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, thanks, Well you know, like I mean.
Speaker 1:I wish I could be more like that. I got FOMO, I just I just yeah, I just realized what I have FOMO for because I'm doing this competition, this working out competition.
Speaker 2:So explain it a little bit. So I'm doing this competition, this working out competition, oh yes, so explain it a little bit.
Speaker 2:So I'm 40 years old and I had a lot of problems in the past gaining muscle. I would get sick, it turned out. I've been deficient for who knows how long in testosterone. So I'm on a TRT plan and so it has completely changed my life, to the point where I can't even like. It's like I feel 20 again. Okay, so I'm working out now and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I'm actually. So I did something crazy and I signed up to a men's physique competition, which is where you go on stage and you're like flexing your muscles.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, and you know, for the record, I have no Sam Sulek, okay.
Speaker 1:You keep dropping these names. I'm like who are these people? Do you know that I literally have to Google everybody you talk about? I'm like who are these people?
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm no Sam Sulek, but Sam Sulek is a great example of someone I have FOMO over.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Because he is built like an ox. So yeah, I guess I do have FOMO in the bodybuilding regard.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And going on stage. The whole point of doing that is because I've always hated what my body looks like. So to go on stage and show off something that I've worked for, that I can finally, you know, enhance. I guess it excites me.
Speaker 1:That's so exciting. I'm proud of you, thanks.
Speaker 1:I'm proud of you. That's awesome. Okay, so the dark side of FOMO the impulse decisions, the impulse buys, right, you know, the comparison trap, the keeping up culture and how all of affects like your mental health, our mental health. How many times have you, you know, been scrolling on social media and you'd be like, oh, look at that cute little gadget she's using or he's using? I'm like Amazon bye, you know all in five seconds. Yeah, amazon bye, you know all in five seconds. Yeah, I've had to kind of self-evaluate and take away some of those little triggers that kind of make me go down that rabbit hole.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because it's just not healthy, it just doesn't make me feel good about myself. And then, when you don't feel good about yourself, you're perpetuating the cycle, right? You're doing all of these things because you think you need to, or because you think it'll get you there, or whatever your motivation behind doing them is, and when you never get there, just you fucking feel like shit all the time. So I don't bother. I don't bother anymore, but I still have some moments of weakness, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everybody does, I'm sure, for sure. I mean going back to, I mean everything, if, if, if. If we're on the topic of like what I was just talking about, like the bodybuilding supplements, right away, you see, you see, I don't know again sam sulik or whoever, and and he's like this, let me tell you this has changed my. We're buying it. Yep, it changed his life. Like we need to buy it.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, I think it's in a way, uh, like a self-inflicted peer pressure, almost Right. Think about okay, so this is us talking about it in our 40s. Think about how we felt in our teens Right yeah, when your friends were hanging out without you, yeah. Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like that shit was not fun.
Speaker 2:I didn't like that feeling. Yeah, I remember we used to always go out every weekend and if some reason the phone didn't ring or there was no text and that weekend kind of went by. You were almost a little salty yeah, what about in our 20s?
Speaker 1:I'm trying to think. I mean, I had a different perspective. I was single mom. All of my friends didn't have kids, so they were out there living their lives. So I had FOMO in that respect, kind of like I didn't get to go out anytime I wanted. When I did, I was a little more selective with what I was doing and who I was with because I wasn't able to do it as often, but I still felt FOMO. It kind of sucked, you know, like everybody's getting together and you're not there.
Speaker 1:You know and you're hearing stories. So definitely the social aspect of FOMO I definitely felt in my teens and my 20s.
Speaker 2:I think for me it was the opposite. So I felt FOMO if I was not at home, and that was all connected to the game I was playing or whatever. So, being out in my head I was like, oh man, if I was home I could be doing this. So I'd say it was the opposite for me. Yeah, which is weird, would you?
Speaker 1:say that's the introvert in you.
Speaker 2:Probably, probably.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, fobo, have you heard of that?
Speaker 2:FOBO.
Speaker 1:FOBO. I've heard of.
Speaker 2:FERBO, ferbo.
Speaker 1:FOMO versus FOBO, which is fear of better options. Uh, fomo versus FOBO, which is fear of better options, which is FOBO is not committing to anything because something better might come along. Oh boy, do we spend too much time deciding and end up missing out because we're waiting for the best option?
Speaker 2:There are a lot of people like that. I would say that I'm not one of them.
Speaker 1:I was going to say I would like to think that I'm not one of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say that I'm not one of them. I was going to say I would like to think that I'm not one of them. Yeah, I don't think I'm one of them. Yeah, but unfortunately, I think that that is a really not a fun way to look at things.
Speaker 1:No, you're like, I feel like it would be like holding back, then you really are missing out on a lot of things. But also even just okay and this is going to maybe I'm taking it into a completely different direction but even just like the option of fucking up and learning from it If you're not taking any actions. Right.
Speaker 2:Well, that's something that you only learn later.
Speaker 1:It's true, though and I think you brought it up at one point in one of the past episodes where your failure, the failures that you go through, are what motivate you to keep going.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you learn something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's actually not. The successes are great, but it's not necessarily what drives you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because that's where the cliche line of it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. I think there's a lot in that to unravel.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure, and I didn't, to be honest, I didn't even know that FOBO even existed. I was just like they've got an acronym for everything. We could talk about this shit all fucking day.
Speaker 2:Let's quit our jobs, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but what do you think is worse, fomo or FOBO? I think FO.
Speaker 2:I think FOMO 2.
Speaker 1:Okay, so now we're going to do some this or that.
Speaker 2:This or that, okay, this or that segment.
Speaker 1:Okay, FOMO edition. Would you rather miss an amazing concert or miss an epic trip with friends?
Speaker 2:Well, I have APD so there's no way I'm doing the concert, so I don't care about the concert.
Speaker 1:So you would rather miss the concert? I'm going to say, yeah, I would rather. It depends what friends, but I feel like I would rather miss the concert as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah me it could be anything.
Speaker 1:I can listen to music in my yeah, it could be anything, Concerts just. I'm okay.
Speaker 2:They don't really do it for me.
Speaker 1:Although, unless it was Taylor Swift, I was really, really, really like Okay, don't look at, let's do relax there with the face, I with this Eris tour.
Speaker 2:Taylor Swift really.
Speaker 1:Love Taylor Swift. I'm not a Swifty and it was very clear. When I went to the Eras Tour Cineplex edition Surrounded by a lot of Swifties, I was like, oh boy, okay, there are a couple of songs I don't know all the words to you know.
Speaker 2:Was it that crazy?
Speaker 1:Oh it was insane.
Speaker 1:It was was insane I can't do concerts, man, I just get a headache and I want to go home I'm very picky about who I want to see live, like I really has to matter, especially with concert ticket prices lately, oh fuck. Anyways, I wouldn't have been able to afford taylor swift concerts like tickets, even if I could go to the concert. But yeah, I did it. I was kind of I had a little bit of FOMO for that one Okay, see people hanging out without you or not get invited in the first place. So basically just decide not to go or not get invited at all, you don't care.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Would it have mattered to you at any point in your life?
Speaker 2:Probably.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think I would rather get invited and not go.
Speaker 1:Of course, right, you want to feel included.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree, I'm on the same page. Okay to feel included. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I agree, I'm on the same page.
Speaker 2:Uh, okay, stay home and regret it or go out and have a mediocre time. It's hard for me to stay home and regret it. So I would love to just stay home, like stay home and regret it. I I that that can't those words don't go together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't go. Yeah, Like stay home and regret. That can't those words don't go together.
Speaker 2:For me, yeah, it doesn't go together. No, no.
Speaker 1:Hot takes. Is FOMO worse now than it used to be?
Speaker 2:Probably because of social media.
Speaker 1:Social media yeah, does social media make us more or less happy overall?
Speaker 2:Less happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. One thing we both don't regret missing out on.
Speaker 2:Botox Okay. I don't know.
Speaker 1:What do I not regret missing out on?
Speaker 2:Not regret missing out on. Yeah, like Botox, plastic surgery. I don't give a shit about that stuff.
Speaker 1:I don't know it's random, but I don't know what else to think of that's true, okay, final thought Are we actually missing out, or are we just thinking that we are?
Speaker 2:I mean, in most scenarios I think we think we are, yeah, I think we think we are. I think we think we are and really we're not. I think I have become a lot more humble with what I do have over the years, as opposed to always looking everywhere else.
Speaker 1:Oh yes.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I do have an appreciation for the things that I do have most of the time. Perfect Anyways, great conversation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fun, this was good.
Speaker 1:This was a good one, okay, all right. So what did we learn today? Fomo is basically just our brains messing with us. Social media makes it worse and half the time we're probably not missing out on anything life-changing.
Speaker 2:Drop your FOMO experiences into the comments, and don't forget to like and subscribe so you don't miss out on our next episode.
Speaker 1:I see what you did there. All right, we're out. Bye guys, bye.
