Brother Sister Whatever

No Chill #14: No Regrets? Liar.

Real Talk, Zero Chill. Season 1 Episode 14

We take a deep dive into regrets that have shaped our lives, exploring the moments that haunt us and the lessons they've taught us along the way. From financial missteps to spending too much time on other people, we share personal stories about the experiences we wish we could do over.

• Weekly What If: Could you erase one moment in your life if you'd lose all the lessons from it?
• Financial regrets and the power of teaching the next generation to start saving early
• The cost of caring too much about what others think and spending years seeking validation
• Friendships we held onto too long versus ones we wish we hadn't let go
• The science behind gut feelings and why our bodies know the right choice before our minds do
• This or That: Would you rather regret posting something or not posting when you had the chance?
• Hot takes on regrets including "People who say they have no regrets are lying or insufferable"

Tell us about your biggest regret, or something you didn't mind doing but the consequences were worse than expected. We want the real talk - that's why we're doing this podcast. Zero chill.


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Speaker 1:

Okay, welcome back to Brother, Sister. Whatever, today's episode is all about regrets the ones that haunt us, the ones we laugh about now and the ones we pretend don't exist.

Speaker 2:

We know you have some guys.

Speaker 1:

I have plenty. I could do this episode solo and carry it. Let's start with the weekly what if?

Speaker 2:

Let's do it Weekly. What if let's do it Weekly? What?

Speaker 1:

if Okay, so what if you could erase one moment in your life, but you'd lose all the lessons that came from it?

Speaker 2:

Oof.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that one's tough, that's tough yeah.

Speaker 1:

Do you want me to start while you think?

Speaker 2:

Sure.

Speaker 1:

Okay, here's the thing I don't regret Much. Because I appreciate all the lessons that came out of it, even though they were tough at the time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah Well, I think that's you growing.

Speaker 1:

Well, yeah, I think every decision you make leads you somewhere, in some way down a growth path.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but a lot of people don't look at it like that, you know Well, yeah, so I think that that alone speaks a lot. You know, I actually think it's very like taboo's not the right word, but it was almost like failure had to be avoided at all costs and a lot of people were programmed like that and it's only been, maybe like what the past 10 years, where you hear about it way more now, where it's like failure is what got me to where I am. Failure is this Failure? Is that, like now, we're happy about failure, right?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, In a way it's true.

Speaker 2:

So to say what have you failed at, like, what could you take away? You know, saying that to people like us who know what failure does for us, I think that's that's really tough. So I guess I would say for me um is there's a couple of scenarios in the back of my mind where I wouldn't mind getting rid of because it didn't teach me anything. But hear me out, it didn't teach me anything because I didn't have that mindset, because you still need to take something away from that. Well, you still need to take it away, right, that's true. So I could basically say that I could have done without my first relationship. That one was a real toxic one, my first, first ever relationship. It was in high school and like, if I could go back in time, I would just completely remove it. And I would completely remove it because I didn't learn anything moving forward. You know, and maybe it's even a subconscious thing, like, even though I'm saying I didn't learn anything, maybe I, maybe I did, but I'm're not making the connections, or something.

Speaker 2:

Maybe, but I don't think so I'm pretty sure I was completely out to lunch.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

So I'd say that that's probably the one I would erase if I could.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so yeah, weekly. What if that's a pretty good one, that's a really good one, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a really good one.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm going to start us off by saying that I think one of the biggest regrets that I have is not being better financially, not just, but not knowing. Do you know what I mean? And kind of you know when you're younger and you're like I have plenty of time, yeah, mean and and kind of you know when you're younger and you're like I have plenty of time, yeah, and then you literally blink your eyes and you're in your 40s and your life is over.

Speaker 1:

No, I'm kidding and you're like oh shit, I'm not as far into my rsps as I should be, or you have rsps shit. So biggest regret definitely I wish I had been smarter. Even just $20 a month, just something.

Speaker 2:

It's not over though.

Speaker 1:

No, it's not.

Speaker 2:

But yeah.

Speaker 1:

But think of how far, much closer I could be to my goal if I had started young, closer I could be to my goal if I had started young. So, but that regret is going to lead me to teach my kids how to do it better.

Speaker 2:

For sure.

Speaker 1:

You know, think about those things. It's never too fucking early. That's my for sure. My top one, one of my top regrets over the years. I know what about you.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, I know it's cliche to be like, you know I have no regrets and brr, brr, brr, brr. But if I had to pick a regret, I would say you know that, probably say my biggest regret is spending too much time on other people. You know, I'd say that that's probably my biggest regret. Not, you know, I mean if, if I had to like accumulate it in like a sense of like years of life, it's probably half my life. You know what I mean, just in general, right. So I think, um, you know that that's probably a big regret. You know, caring about what they think, whether it's trying to, you know, get validation out of them, you know, whatever it is, it's about the focus on others as opposed to yourself. You know that would be probably a big regret.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, you live and learn. But yeah, that's how it works right, yep For sure.

Speaker 1:

Boundaries why, like I'm just discovering what real boundaries look like at this stage of my life, imagine if I had really discovered that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

When I was younger, in my 20s especially, oh my god yeah, yeah, same.

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean, you know we're siblings, right, we're not identical, but clearly there's certain things that are the same yeah, or relatively yeah, so yeah, I'm in the same boat yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 1:

What about relationships?

Speaker 2:

Like in what way?

Speaker 1:

Friendships, romantic relationships. Are there any regrets there? Half the people that I dated I would not have dated.

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean our weekly. What if was me saying my first relationship?

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's true.

Speaker 2:

So I'd say that, yeah, for sure, that's definitely a big thing there for me for sure.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think there are some. I don't think I can say anything about friendships, though I don't have anything that stands out to me.

Speaker 2:

I could say a couple things about friendship, I think. I think that there's definitely some regret there in friendships Friendships that you know, I wish I didn't hold on to, and then friendships I wish I held on to, kind of thing.

Speaker 1:

Which one stings worse?

Speaker 2:

Which one stings worse?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's a good one, I think, the ones that I held on to longer than I should have. And so the reason why I would pick that over the other one is because I think in my mind of the regret of people that I wish I stuck around with. I think the lesson that I learned from that is that, and because whether it was me or them that said like okay, fuck off. Kind of thing. I think it was meant to be in the sense that if it was a true friend, they would have understood you or you would have understood them, and hence that would have never happened, regardless of what your actions were that maybe have caused that friendship to crumble. So the reason why I pick the other one is because the other one is much more of a lesson in the sense of like, uh-uh, like when I'm done, I'm done, kind of thing, and I need to end that charade right then and there. So to me that's why that one is more important.

Speaker 1:

See, when I look back on past relationships or friendships, for me it's the one it stings. You always think about the one that got away, right, you always think it's almost like a FOMO of regrets, right, when you think about it, fomo, you like you, you, you don't know what you're missing out on. There's so many possibilities, but the one that you, you waited too long maybe to to get rid of there's, there's nothing else. You can't milk that cow any more than you milked it. Right, it is what it is.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, and it makes you think of other things though Like if you didn't wait as long as you did, then maybe that connection or friend or whatever that you had in the interim, but now it's not there, right, like there's so many scenarios.

Speaker 1:

It all depends on how you look on it and what makes the most impact for you. Do you have any regrets about not listening to your gut? Specifically, yeah. And it could be waiting too long, right, yeah, to add something, or whatever I will tell you something though. Okay, what that I?

Speaker 2:

know now that I know now, and if you don't know this, I mean you should be. You know, you should get this into your head, right?

Speaker 1:

now.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I'm probably going to botch the study. Okay, like I'm going to botch it, but I'm going to explain, just like, my logic behind it of how it went down. Okay, they did a study on your gut feeling.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Okay, and like you making a choice, kind of thing All right, okay.

Speaker 2:

And I'll explain to you what they did. They had cards red, blue and yellow Okay. Do you know this story? No, okay, okay. And so each one had a value, and the point of the game was that you have to get the highest value out of a certain amount of cards. Like, you get 50 cards, okay, and so you get to pick. You get to pick red, yellow, you know. And so what they didn't know was that, believe it or not, each stack, like the blue ones ones, was like the highest pot of, like a ratio like, let's just say, 75 to 100 okay and then the yellow cards were 25 to 50 and then the blue, the.

Speaker 2:

The last cards were like 1 to 25, in the sense of like a numeric number okay, like let's say, it's cash, okay, and so you would pick one, so I would pick. Like the yellow. It would be like a fouric number, okay, like, let's say, it's cash, okay, and so you would pick one, so I would pick. Like the yellow. It would be like a four right, and so you're picking the cards, you know, and obviously around card 35 or 25 or whatever, everyone was a little different. But around the 25, 35, they started realizing like holy shit, okay, the blue ones have the highest pot. And so clearly, everyone just kept picking the blue card because it was the highest one right yeah.

Speaker 2:

Now here's the thing. This was all recorded. Obviously you know everything they were doing. The body reacted on card number five and started subconsciously.

Speaker 2:

They started taking the, the higher pot cards more frequently before they caught on and they were clearly like blue, blue, blue blue but listening to their gut yeah, but their gut, at card five, they, they almost were drawn more to taking the blue card, so they didn't take it every time because they didn't know consciously. So they were still like, oh, maybe I'll get lucky with the yellow, you know, you know, or whatever. But by card five the body was already the gut, was already taking that higher pot card and so, needless to say, the moral of this little story here is that your body already knew on card five that that was the higher pot, and so the point is that you got to follow that gut.

Speaker 2:

And when I heard that story obviously it was said a lot better than what I just did, but hearing that story I was like, wow, like it makes so much sense because there's been so many times where I was like why the fuck didn't I listen to what I was thinking, you know, or whatever, and like now I actually try to be very conscious of my gut, and so that's kind of what I've been doing now. So if my gut says it's like, okay, I go with it. You know, versus like you get the gut, and then you're kind of like, oh, now I do it on purpose. The moment I feel the gut, I go with it, I throw the cards in, you know, or whatever, and it's been working.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, it's interesting that you say that, because siblings maybe you feel the same way here is. For a long time I didn't allow myself to even think about something. I was so impulsive that I didn't even have enough time to allow my body to even have that instinct or that intuition. Do you ever feel like you've gone through?

Speaker 2:

periods like that in your life. You mean like when we were teens. Teens and 20s for sure In my 20s.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's so interesting because those are the times. Those are the years in which I have the most regrets. My regrets have gotten a lot less as I've gotten older. Right, because I choose to listen now more to my gut. I choose to pause and really think about things, as opposed to just yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's interesting.

Speaker 2:

It is interesting. It is yeah, okay, it's good.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

All right, this or that.

Speaker 1:

Okay, yes, this or that.

Speaker 2:

All right, you starting or me.

Speaker 1:

You go.

Speaker 2:

Okay, how about this Regret posting it or regret not posting it when you had a chance?

Speaker 1:

I'll probably regret posting it.

Speaker 2:

Regret posting it. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1:

Regret saying I love you too soon, or regret never saying it at all too soon, or regret never saying it at all Too soon, yeah, yeah, I've never been in a situation where I've never said it like or that I've regretted not saying it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah yeah, it's always been too soon. Yeah, yeah, ooh. Regret what you said out loud or regret what you kept to yourself.

Speaker 1:

Always regret what I kept to myself. Hands down.

Speaker 2:

Same.

Speaker 1:

I never speak up enough.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So that's yeah Same.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, regret ghosting someone, or regret giving them another chance.

Speaker 2:

Shit, that one's tough, I'm gonna say regret ghosting them Really. Yeah, how come? Because by the time, because I don't do that, so because by the time I'm ready to ghost them. I gave them so many fucking chances, or wait.

Speaker 1:

Actually, it would be the other way. Yeah, sorry I'm giving them too many chances, exactly.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that's what I meant.

Speaker 1:

I'm with you because, for the exact same reason. Yeah, I'm, like you know, the person kicking the dead horse in the corner there. Yeah, one more chance.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, that's me Regretting regret trusting someone too fast, or regret never trusting them at all.

Speaker 1:

Definitely regret trusting somebody too fast.

Speaker 2:

Okay, yeah Same.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, regret a job you didn't take, or regret the job you stayed in too long.

Speaker 2:

I've never really had that yeah. That one's a tough one for me. So I guess I'm going to say regret the job that I didn't take, like if I had to.

Speaker 1:

Okay, had to okay you know, for me it's the opposite. I've never turned down a job. Do you know what I mean? Like it's always been the opportunity that I've seeked, and so, therefore, if I've received it, then I took it. So it's always staying somewhere too long, but that's like a standard throughout all the aspects of my life regret something that you did drunk, or regret something you didn't do because you were too sober.

Speaker 2:

Oh, 100% the first one there Regret something I did when I was drunk.

Speaker 1:

Drunk I know 100%, it's so bad.

Speaker 2:

All right people. So now we are going to do some of those hot takes, let's go. So here we go. Your gut was right, you just didn't listen again.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, hands down, I bow to that one. You don't learn from your mistakes, you just learn to regret them quieter.

Speaker 2:

That's a good one. Yeah, people who say they have no regrets are lying or insufferable. Insufferable People that don't have any regrets, like fuck off. You're just being defensive because you said that before, that you have no regrets.

Speaker 1:

Maybe no.

Speaker 2:

I didn't say I didn't have no regrets. You did, for you technically did.

Speaker 1:

Well, but it was with a clause.

Speaker 2:

I know I'm just messing with you. You're messing with me.

Speaker 1:

If it didn't result in emotional damage? Was it even a real mistake? What did we say about trauma?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, seriously, sometimes the right decision still comes with regret, and that's wild.

Speaker 1:

Last one. I don't regret the decision, I regret the consequences.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, that's a good one too, that is a good one.

Speaker 1:

That's a good one to end up. Like to end the episode with.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Why don't you guys write your biggest regret, or one that you actually didn't mind doing, but the consequences were worse?

Speaker 2:

And don't sugarcoat it. We want to hear the real talk.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that's why we're doing this podcast, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Real talk Zero chill.

Speaker 2:

Exactly All right, so we want the serious comments.

Speaker 1:

We want the goods. All right, All right guys.

Speaker 2:

We are going to take off. This is brother, sister, whatever.

Speaker 1:

Bye guys, bye, see you next week.

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