Brother Sister Whatever
Brother Sister Whatever is the cynical-but-lovable sibling podcast for GenX & Xennials navigating the messy middle of life—identity, aging, family roles, and all the weird in-between stuff that adulthood forgot to warn us about.
Hosted by Lisa & Josh, two grown-up siblings with opposite vibes and shared trauma, this show is part therapy, part throwback, and part unfiltered real talk about the messier side of life. Expect plenty of 80s/90s nostalgia and laughs as we dissect it all!
New episodes every other Thursday.
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Brother Sister Whatever
The Lies We Tell Ourselves – A Candid Rewatch
What’s the lie you tell yourself the most? “I don’t care what people think”? “I’ll do it later”? “I’m fine”?
In this reflective rewatch of our most-downloaded episode ever, Lisa and Josh revisit The Lies We Tell Ourselves—and things hit a little harder the second time around. From quiet self-deceptions to white lies we tell our kids, this episode explores how our relationship with truth shifts over time.
👇 Chapters:
0:42 – Welcome to Brother, Sister, Whatever
1:25 – Weekly "What If": Lies as Bubbles
3:56 – Common Lies We Tell Ourselves
6:45 – "I Don't Care What Others Think"
10:52 – Time as the New Success Metric
13:32 – White Lies in Parenting
17:26 – "I Am Enough" Affirmations
21:40 – Liar Liar This-or-That Showdown
✨ Inside this episode:
- The real cost of "I'll do it later"
- Why “I don’t care what people think” is rarely true
- When it’s okay to lie to your kids—and when it’s not
- How affirmations start to feel real only after the hard work
- A final showdown of the social lies we all tell (yes, “I didn’t see your text” made the list)
Thanks for hanging out with us on Brother Sister Whatever, your no-BS guide through the messy middle!
If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or question your entire existence as a GenX/Xennial — please hit subscribe and leave a review. It genuinely helps more unhinged humans find their people.
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🗓 New episodes every other Thursday.
Bring your feelings. We’ll bring ours.
Hi everyone, welcome back to Brother, sister, whatever where real talk meets zero chill. I'm Lisa.
Speaker 2:I'm Josh.
Speaker 1:Today we're doing a really special episode. We are actually going to re-watch one of our most watched episodes on the lies that we tell ourselves. Are you ready?
Speaker 2:I'm ready. By the way, just saying I'm not a grandpa. So if you're reading my cup right now, I just want you to know I'm not that old yet. This is just a cup I happen to have grabbed.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So we're going to start with the weekly. What if Sounds good? What if every lie you ever told, big or small, suddenly appeared in a pop-up bubble over your head anytime someone looked at you?
Speaker 1:That'd be kind of embarrassing actually.
Speaker 2:Well, you're telling me.
Speaker 1:It'd be kind of embarrassing Not as embarrassing as if any thought, like any random thought, that you had came up as a bubble above your head. That would be the ultimate, oh yeah. But lies. I could see how that could maybe be embarrassing. It'd be like you'd be caught in the act. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Well, I think if everyone had that, then there'd be a lot less lying.
Speaker 1:Well, that's true. I was just going to say I wouldn't do it as much, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:I think I would be in big trouble, but mainly for, like sugarcoating. You know, like where I sugarcoat something I'm like, yeah, yeah, it looks fine, you know, or something like that. So I think, you know, I think I'd be.
Speaker 1:I think I'd be more the most trouble I would get in.
Speaker 2:I think would be the kids. At least one of them doesn't know how to read yet. So you know, like Jet, he, um, he would, he last year he would go to school with the Luffy straw hat on every day, oh and, and you know, know, it was the cutest thing ever, right? But I mean you know it's a straw hat, right? I mean I don't know, right, but like everyone loves them at that school, like it's like the kids, because you know every parent, right, I mean at least I do I'm thinking like, oh, my god, are they? If I know, if, back in the day, if I wore that to school, oh I, I would be dead meat, like dead meat Bullying yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's, and it's not even to say that Jet doesn't look good in it or anything like that. You know, it's just. You know, you know how it is right yeah. So but yeah, I mean that would be a sucky pop-up in that scenario where he's like Dad, I look good.
Speaker 1:I'm like, yeah, but in the back of my mind.
Speaker 2:I'm like, oh my gosh, take this off please. I don't want you to get bullied. That's a good weekly. What if it?
Speaker 1:is it is. I randomly picked out some timestamps from our original episode to kind of go over and discuss.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:So what are some of the lies that we tell ourselves? Common things that people lie to themselves about. I'll be happy when how many? Times have you said that to yourself?
Speaker 2:right.
Speaker 1:I have time to do that later.
Speaker 2:Classic.
Speaker 1:I'm fine.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, right, yeah I can change later, I'm fine.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, right, I can change them. I'm not good enough. I don't care what people think, it's too late for me. That was something we were talking about last episode.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm over it, I don't need help, I can do it by myself. Money doesn't matter, I'm not like other people, All of these things. So it's interesting hearing, hearing all of those, all of those lies that we tell ourselves. You know. Again, it's interesting. I'm wondering which one of them like which are you most likely to still say out loud?
Speaker 2:Well, you go first.
Speaker 1:Oh, can I? Okay, yeah, I still like, I still think, you know like I have time for that later. You always you know, like the putting things aside and like I can do that later, and it's not even so much the daily tasks, josh. I don't think that was. I don't think I mean that so much like oh, I'll do the dishes later, kind of thing. It's more of the of like the things that make you. You putting those things aside, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like oh like I don't have, like you know what I mean like, oh, like I don't have, like you know, like being becoming a workaholic and and not giving yourself time to relax and and you know just that kind of, that kind of a, a vibe that lie. I think, yeah, I'll have time to go and take that class when the kids are older. And then the kids get older and they still don't take the fun class. You know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that kind of thing yeah.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I think that's one that still sticks with me. A bit Haunts me maybe.
Speaker 2:That's a tough question. Yeah, I think one that is always kind of you know, is just like the self-confidence, like mantras or whatever. You know, like, uh, um, I believe in myself, or you know those types of things. I think, um, I think you know there's this like yin and yang, where where you have moments where you're like I can do this, and in your head you're like I fucking can't do this, or you know, like you kind of have to like almost overhaul your brain, right, Okay, so the next timestamp?
Speaker 1:Do we care, josh? Do we care? Let's see.
Speaker 2:Where we'll be. Like you know, we don't care about this, you know, and we technically do, but because it's our kid, we don't. You know, Fallon will wear something and I'll be like Fallon, like come on, we're not going to wear that to school, but in the same, you know, I'm saying you know, you be you, you be unique, you, you be different. Who cares what other people think? But at the same time, like you can't wear that. I'm not comfortable going out with unicorn pants or whatever, even though I say it doesn't matter what other people think self-preservation you know, I don't know how many times I don't give a shit what they fucking think.
Speaker 1:But really you do To a degree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know to a degree. Yeah, because that's why you're so mad. You're so mad because you give a shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you mentioned. We say that we don't care, but really deep down we do.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Have you managed to evade that?
Speaker 2:I have.
Speaker 1:You have From our talk.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, I find I am actively working on some of those things, Really For sure Subconsciously, as we're having the talks like there's little bits right that just kind of stay with you.
Speaker 1:Stay with you Exactly. I feel the same way, josh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sometimes, yeah and uh, and then you know, like at some point I'm kind of like saying like blah, blah, blah, like I don't give a shit, you know and and and, like I'm, I'm peaceful about it, like, wow, I really don't care you know, like, like I I've I've managed to this time you know kind of beat that down so to speak.
Speaker 2:I think, you know, as we're healing, like we've said many times in the podcast, like we're both healing, we're both, you know, doing work, inner child work, all this crap, right, yeah, all this crap right, yeah, I think it's. I think it's bringing out things that our younger selves like wouldn't even fathom. Yeah, you know, we're just so intelligent now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're just so wise.
Speaker 2:We're so wise now Well what are you, the monk?
Speaker 1:What is it the Tao disciple?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the Tao disciple, the Tao disciple. What about you, lisa? Do you have anything to say about this? Do you still give a shit?
Speaker 1:I think, yes, I do. I think I have not reached the mecca of not giving a shit.
Speaker 2:So like your kid has like sauce on their face and someone sees their face and they do the ugh.
Speaker 1:No, that kind of stuff doesn't bother me as much anymore. I don't sweat that kind of stuff. I don't sweat that kind of stuff, but when it's like other scenarios, I do tend to take things very, very personally, unfortunately. So I'm still. That's definitely something I'm working on, though. All right, let's check out the next timestamp, josh.
Speaker 2:All right, I was maybe through my relationships, programmed a little bit to really care about certain things, you know, especially like materialistic and like looking a certain way. And you know, and I've definitely gotten, you know, quite a few pieces of humble pie as well that I had to be dished. But I feel like I've kind of grown to the point where now, like I truly can confidently say like I really don't give a shit, you know, like I don't care if I have a Porsche or if I have a fucking Corolla, you know what I mean Like. So that for me has definitely shifted in in me hitting my like getting into my forties now. But you know, it's not, it's not about just I have to have these things.
Speaker 1:You know these things have to be like the look of it yeah. Yeah, you know, now it's more inside and more like yeah, it makes you feel yeah, you know yeah, oh yeah, oh, I get it, I get it. Let's look at some of the reasons why we actually tell ourselves these things. Would it be like a fear of failure that may be in your eyes if you weren't eating the great steak at gibby's or driving the good car that it looked like you weren't?
Speaker 1:successful yeah for sure no, but you know what we were just like? We were just talking about that josh, with age you and and more experience, right, you kind of like tend to give less fucks, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Do you think? Like what? If there's any external validation that you chase, what is it? Do you have anything? I'm sure there's at least one thing you do. You just you in the in the original episode in the timestamp we just watched, you mentioned you know that you didn't care about the kind of things that you cared about before. You know the kind of car that you drive. I believe we didn't see it in this clip, but I believe in that episode we were talking also talking about, like you know, the, the food, the restaurants and stuff.
Speaker 2:Right, oh, I love the restaurants right, Gibby's and all of that.
Speaker 1:So, and that made you feel successful having those things, I guess, in a way Right and so now you don't. But is there something that still resonates or that still kind of lingers?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, and it's a positive thing.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Like. I think the external validation that I look for now is that I define success with time.
Speaker 1:So the more time. I have with the kids you know, the more time I have with the kids.
Speaker 2:You know, the more time I have with the kids, and especially nowadays, the more time I have for myself. I find that the more I feel successful all right, next time stamp have you ever been in a situation where you had even just a simple argument with your better half? And it's a little too personal and obviously the kid says what's wrong and you make a white lie. I mean, we're not going to trauma, dump our kids right?
Speaker 1:No, no, I just tell them it's none of your business.
Speaker 2:Oh, do you really? Yeah, oh, wow, that's good so that's between me and Daddy. We're good though, Don't worry there's a, there's a boundary right there.
Speaker 1:That's a good boundary, my gosh well, I just think I I come from a place where I'm not. You don't need to know everything about everything. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:I guess it's just because me I don't. Yeah, it's weird. I I guess I just look at it differently like they are my business and and and I'm their business. I, I don't know, I would feel like that's a white lie. In a weird way, I would feel like me saying none of your business is the white lie. Really, yeah, I don't know why I think like that.
Speaker 1:So what did you think about my little none of your business tactic, and have you actually started using it? No, no. Well, what did you think about my little none of your business tactic, and have you actually started using it?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:No, do you still feel the same way?
Speaker 2:I guess theoretically, without realizing it, I do use it. It's just, I don't say none of your business, I say like nothing, it's nothing kind of thing. Now that I think about it, right, um, I'm just, I'm, I'm just deciphering why again in my brain, because, you know, sometimes the thoughts are different, right, when we hear it. Again, I'm just trying to decipher why I think it's a white family, it's, it's different than if it's in the context of someone outside.
Speaker 2:Um, I love the, the value of them understanding, like, dude, this is none of your business, but I don't know. I I also feel like I don't want them to think that they can't like ask, I guess.
Speaker 1:Oh, but there's a difference between asking and like. They can ask anything, they can emote anything, right, they're allowed that. But you're also allowed to say it's none of your business and again, how you do it is how you do it, I actually really don't care. I mean me saying, I guess at the end of the day, we're probably saying the same thing once again. Like me saying it's nothing.
Speaker 2:is me saying? It's none of your business? Yeah, just it's. I guess my version of saying it yeah, so to speak. Yeah, you know yeah, so to speak, yeah, you know yeah.
Speaker 1:So to piggyback off of kids and parenting? Do you think honesty should always win in parenting, or do you think there's a time to lie?
Speaker 2:I mean, look, I think there's a time to lie. Sure, you know, I think most of it. I'm just that's just how I'm built. You know, I think you are too, but like it's just how I'm built. You know, like I can't, I can't do these extravagant lies. You know, even just me buying someone for, even though it's not necessarily the same thing, but like me, buying something for someone and trying to keep it a surprise is impossible, you know, I mean don't get me wrong, I'm great at poker and and if I need to be like in that dynamic, no problem, I'll lie my teeth off. But in, in the sense of the people I care about, I think, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:In the sense of the people.
Speaker 2:I care about? I think yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think honesty wins. One last time stamp Josh.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:All right, you ready.
Speaker 2:I'm ready. You know, you see these fucking, you know therapists on their little Instagram reels and they're like you are enough.
Speaker 1:I love those.
Speaker 2:But you know, and they're like, you are enough.
Speaker 1:I love those. But you know, and it's like, yeah, it's like my drug of choice, say more.
Speaker 2:You know, and don't get me wrong, like I get it, they're just trying to help and they're just trying to say, like you know, but like I almost like eye roll. But why do I eye roll? And you know, I think it's something that we all go through, that we have to kind of fight with, and I think only now, at 40 years old, where I'm finally kind of coming like out of that, these are the times that we want to work on ourselves, like we want to look at the problems we have, you know, versus when we're 30 or even 20, you know, we're like we don't have fucking problems, you know. What are you talking about? I'm perfect, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I think that that plays.
Speaker 1:Or the problems that we do have are not about us. They're always about other people. Exactly Lies. I am enough looking in the mirror and actually like believing it. You know it's cringy. I'm still kind of like. I'm still. It's so funny because I'm still at that like little stage where I'm like I could go either way. I could like fall in love with affirmations or like start laughing at myself for doing them. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I can see how it would be cringy yeah.
Speaker 2:See, it's crazy, though you know, because do you say that to yourself?
Speaker 1:That phrase specifically. I am enough every once in a while. For me, it's more of that. I am deserving of rest. I am deserving of that kind of thing you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It's more that I feel like I started saying I am enough when I started really believing I was versus trying to trick myself into thinking.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I feel like when I started just taking care of myself mentally through the books, through you know therapy, all of that, I feel like only then I was saying it, but I was never really told to say it. It just started to happen. It was like a byproduct of becoming who we are Interesting. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So it was almost like a subconscious. I am enough. Yeah, to lead you to the actual literal. I am enough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like it just happened because of the healing.
Speaker 1:But in order for you to heal, one has to think. There's like something to heal.
Speaker 2:No, but like it just happened, like I wasn't focused on me being enough. At least subconsciously, I wasn't focused on me being enough. I was focused on, you know, doing things a certain way or taking time for me, or whatever, but not saying I'm taking time for me because I'm enough. You know it, you know it. For me it it was different.
Speaker 2:It was more all the other stuff had to happen. And then it, just now, um, I have to admit it, just now, um, I have to admit I feel like almost aura a bit when I, when I, when I'm out and about, you know, like an aura of like I am enough, you know, uh.
Speaker 1:So how did it make you feel like to to watch those back?
Speaker 2:it's been a few months it was really cool it was interesting to it was, it was not a lot has changed.
Speaker 1:I don't think in the way that we think or feel certainly not me anyway. I pretty much feel like, yeah, pretty much feel the same way yeah, me too. Me too, I feel the same way pretty much yeah, um, okay, josh, how about if we move on to the this or that showdown?
Speaker 2:let's do it okay so you start liar liar edition a liar liar edition oh boy, okay, um, I love working under pressure versus chaos is how I thrive.
Speaker 1:I love working under pressure.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, I actually find my best results come out under pressure.
Speaker 2:I never would have guessed.
Speaker 1:So, Josh, would you say I'm fine or no worries at all?
Speaker 2:No worries at all, that one's easy. Okay, this isn't about you versus, it's totally not personal this isn't about you.
Speaker 1:Um, I've I read the terms and conditions or I'll circle back on that I'll circle back on that who says I'll read the term. I read the terms.
Speaker 2:I've never read the terms and conditions of anything in my life. Probably not a good thing. But yeah yeah, you know what, though? If, when I meet people, they had a terms and conditions, I would probably read it.
Speaker 1:That's what I mean, right, yeah?
Speaker 2:I wish they had that, but you know that doesn't happen. I wish I had that, but you know that doesn't happen. I wish I had a warranty too, but anyways, this isn't a no sorry. Let's definitely hang out soon. Let's totally grab a coffee sometime.
Speaker 1:Let's definitely hang out soon. Okay, yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay, one more each, okay.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:I didn't see your text versus. I must have deleted it by accident.
Speaker 2:I didn't see your text. I've moved on versus. I don't even think about them anymore.
Speaker 1:I don't, I don't okay. So, speaking from experience, just with that last one, I don't think moving on like you can stop thinking about somebody, but the second they're back in your face or somebody brings up their name, all all of those like emotions come back, so which means you haven't moved on. So I'm definitely I don't even think about them anymore. One day I'll get to the I've moved on.
Speaker 2:Well, that's all she wrote, Yep.
Speaker 1:Literally right.
Speaker 2:That's all you wrote. That's all I wrote. Why don't you go to our socials? We love hearing from you Brother, sister, whatever Instagram, we've got YouTube, facebook. We want to hear your comments and, of course, we love your fan mail.
Speaker 1:Yes, so please keep it coming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and with that being said, thank you so much. I'm Josh and.
Speaker 1:I'm Lisa.
