The Wake-Up Call I Didn't Want

Welcome to Season 2 of Conversations Beyond Borders.

This week, Laura and Susan kick off the new season with a candid conversation about something many midlife women experience but rarely talk about openly: the moment you realize your body isn't responding the way it used to.

After a stressful move, a new job, and a full emotional overload, Laura found herself completely depleted and wondering why she couldn't simply "push through" the way she once could. What followed was a deep dive into energy levels, protein intake, stress, recovery, sleep, movement, and the surprising insights that came from paying closer attention to what her body was trying to tell her.

Together, Laura and Susan explore:

• Why so many women live in a constant state of stress and overwhelm
• The difference between being lazy and being genuinely exhausted
• How midlife changes affect energy, recovery, and overall well-being
• Why women often minimize their own needs and keep pushing through
• The importance of listening to your body before it forces you to stop
• Finding practical solutions without shame or judgment

This isn't a conversation about having all the answers. It's about asking better questions, sharing real experiences, and creating space for honest conversations about what it means to navigate midlife with curiosity, compassion, and a little humor.

If you've ever wondered why your body suddenly feels different, why you're tired all the time, or why nobody warned you about these changes, this conversation is for you.

Join us as we begin a new season of real talk, shared experiences, and the reminder that you don't have to figure it all out alone.

Music: A Special thanks to Tudor Arvinte for our podcast music. 

You can find him at: www.youtube.com/channel/UCJCSbToEWd0WCbHA-QYmW2w?sub_confirmation=1 or Instagram @twodoorluca

Disclaimer:
The information shared on this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We are not licensed mental health professionals, and the content of this podcast is not intended to replace care from a qualified mental health provider.

If you are experiencing distress facing challenges in your mental health or require professional support, we strongly encourage you to seek help from a licensed mental health professional. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, you can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 or texting 988. Trained crisis counselors are available 24/7 to offer free and confidential support.

This podcast is designed to inspire and support women navigating midlife transitions, but your journey is unique, and professional guidance can make a significant difference.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:06

Hello, welcome back to Conversations Beyond Borders. We're really excited, aren't we, Laura, for season two? Yes, we are. Yeah, and it's gonna be a little different. We're gonna actually have a conversation. I'm in Colorado. Laura's in Seattle. Yes, I'm in Seattle now. She's in Seattle, could be in California, and I could be in Canada. But we are here for you. And we're gonna start each week with something that we personally have felt or have moved through. And this week we're going to talk about some serious stuff for Laura. We were gonna record last week, but Laura had a meltdown for good reasons. She's had a lot on her plate. So let's start there, Laura. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Tell us what happened. Yeah, I had a little bit of a meltdown. So we were we um recently moved to Seattle, and with that, I started a new job, and we were living temporarily in an apartment, moving into our new place the same week I start my new job, and about two weeks before we start recording for season two, and I could not find the power cord for my microphone. Or so I thought. Right. Oh yeah. I don't know this part. No, you don't know this part. So I have I get on with Susan on Saturday last week, and oh my god, it turned into something's wrong, Laura.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

Yes, something's wrong. It turned into Laura and I could see it. We've always been very careful with each other that we're the most important thing, and we can always postpone and we can always wait because we we're human and we have personal midlife stuff too. So Laura had some stuff going on.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Yes, I did, and so instead of recording, it turned into a therapy session. It did, it did, and you introduced me to an app, which yes, people, we are new. Yes, we do not have enough followers to be doing advertising, so this there is nothing attached to this. Um, but you introduced me to an app called Well Tory. W-E-L-L-T-O-R-Y. And it changed my life last week. Absolutely changed my life. So I took my first reading the next morning. What was I like at 25% energy, right? So so to take this a step back, I know there's a lot of science behind it. I don't understand all the science. I haven't had time to digest how it works, but it essentially is on your phone, it takes your camera and it takes a measure with your finger, and it somehow measures your blood, and it gives you things like your ability to you well, what's your energy level? What's your cognition? Can you focus? Um, you know, what's your health level? And I don't have an Apple Watch, and so I don't have it giving me that data like Susan does. Um, but I started looking at the problems and the the data and the lower levels of the data, and I started really doing the research, and I'm like, me being me, I gotta be proactive. How do I get out of this? How do I boost my energy level higher than 35? I have things to do today, and so have our bodies though. Right, right. And and with menopause, there's things that I have learned on that journey of researching, you know, the the what's going on. And so I started doing the research, and I realized I was not intaking enough protein. So, so the the I I looked at all my supplements, I looked at my nutrition, I looked at my exercise plan, I looked at my work, you know, calendar, I worked at the you know, looked at the podcast calendar, I looked at, you know, when I'm unpacking, what I'm doing with the new place, and it's like, okay, what do I need to change? So instead of waking up in the morning and starting with a cup of coffee, which is dehydrating, I now start with an electrolyte, and that is about a half hour, 40 minutes later is when I have my first cup of coffee. That first cup of coffee comes with creatine. Then after the creatine, um, at about 10 o'clock comes breakfast, and this is protein-packed. And when I first started looking at it and I started making my yogurt bowls with double the protein, obviously means double the volume, right? And I'm looking at this amount of going, there is no way I can eat all this. So it became breakfast and lunch, essentially. It's like, yeah, yeah, right. I do that a lot. Yep. And so and so then I get back on the internet and I'm like, okay, you know, how can I da da da da da da? And what came back was, okay, stupid protein powder. So, so I've got now it's it's the yogurt, the Greek yogurt, it's protein powder, it's collagen, which also has protein, it's walnuts that also has protein. And and so I made that pivot, and then the one last thing I changed is I added fish oil onto my supplements. And well, and then I also started doing yoga nidra and and breathing exercises more consistently. But I will tell you, it was a 24-hour change. It literally, I've got goosebumps telling you guys this right now. I'm feeling like a total nerd, but it was literally within 24 hours the next day, I was feeling so much better just by increasing my protein levels. Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 5:57

And and I don't think we realize in midlife um so many, so many levels, you know, including estrogen, there are so many things that that that change chemically. And I don't know about you, Laura, but most of my friends and family, we talk a lot about I am so tired all the time. You know, sleep sleep changes in midlife as well. But if we don't, um, you know, this this isn't a power a podcast about nutrition because Laura and I are learning right along with you. But it is a case of the stress is different, and how do we get the information to make sure we know what the solution is? What is the solution to the all of the the midlife things that happen? It can be physically, it can be emotionally. Um, she came to the podcast um last week. I I the tears were there, um, and I could tell that she was overwhelmed and she had a right to be overwhelmed with all the changes. Um, you know, and all of our stories are different, but there is commonality in what are the solutions? How do we manage all of the things that are happening? You know, uh there's so many different things, and I think that's why we wanted to do this podcast. And so that happening last week, um, it was important, and it was a matter of putting yourself first and sitting down and going, what are my stress levels like and how can I continue like this?

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Right, right. Because I'll tell you, I don't I don't know about you, but if this happened to me back in the day when we had moved to Colorado when I was in my late 20s, it would be caffeine and sugar. I would power through, get it done, no problem. It don't work like that anymore.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

No, because because we find out there's there's a lot of enemies and sugar, sugar, sugar's one of them. Oh yeah. For me, it's gluten. Um, and it's a matter of assessing, like like what Laura did, sitting back and going, what is my daily, what does my life look like? And we hope that's what you're going to do along with us. What is what is what is my daily life look like? And how how can it how can it be better? How can it be different? How can it be joyful? And how can it be managed? And so um, yeah, the app um I started for for some cardiac issues, um, and I wanted to see where my stress levels were at. And um, I'm so glad that that changed your life.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

And that you're continuing to put yourself first. You're saying, wait a minute, I I'm taking supplements or but when and what became becomes important. What is the combination? And how do I how do I avoid for me that afternoon fatigue where it just comes in and I just want to like sleep on the couch because of that fatigue? And I think what this podcast hopefully will do um in the upcoming weeks is taking a look at a lot of things that we experience in midlife and sharing what we personally going through and and encouraging you to do the same, to sit back, put yourself first, um, and realize that um, yeah, there are changes to be made. Um, because some of the changes are scary, you know, um memory is a problem. Uh you know, I have reading glasses in every single room that I have, you know, eyesight is changed. Um we can't ignore it. And what we want to do is, yeah, do do some podcasts that that really share the issues that we are experiencing, right, Laura?

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Right, right, absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 10:06

Yeah, and I'm so glad that you're feeling better, and more importantly, just feeling in control.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Oh, absolutely. Well, and that's you know, like I said, I'm I'm not one to just sit and say, okay, I'm okay with this. I just need to learn to live with it. It's like, no, what do I need to do? And and I have also recently discovered Pilates, which which I've also Which I've been telling you to be doing for years, my friend.

unknown 10:29

I know.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

I know. Um, I I've also been dealing with a knee injury, so I'm not as active as I was before, which then also, you know, is counterproductive to you know maintaining these zest for life because I can't push the the adrenalines and the dopamines and the serotonins. And and I've noticed with the Pilates, I'm able to do the things, and because we're on the reformer tables, I'm not putting as much weight on my my joints. And um, you know, we were able to go hike yesterday, and I woke up this morning, zero no. Oh my goodness! Yeah, yeah. That is awesome.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

That is uh that is awesome again. Understanding your body, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Right exactly, yeah, and and I did take polls because I knew it was gonna be a little technical, a little rocky. Um and it was originally supposed to be five miles. We did like a different trail that ended up taking us to like 14 miles, and we were good.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

But you're but your knee was good the next morning. Exactly. That's impressive. That is impressive, yeah, yeah. Because I, you know, I've had hip bersitis um in the last month or so, and again, used to play a lot of pickleball, um, and I had to say, wow, I really didn't listen to my body when it was screaming at me, and now I'm paying the price. Yeah, so you're right, physically, emotionally, all of it. Why do you think women minimize this? Why do we think we just have to suffer alone?

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Wow. Um, I think for me, I know for sure because of where I come from. And and when I say that, I mean I come from a long lineage of very strong-willed women who um are gonna say, I'm gonna say also use the word prideful. And and if we slow down, it was a sign of weakness. Weakness. Um any any sitting, you know, when when you know I was younger was lazy. And it's like, so so learning to understand the difference between lazy and truly tired, and understanding that I do need to give myself time for recovery. Um, and and talking about recovery, so that Well Tory app, the recovery, so it gives you your parasympathetic and your sympathetic nerve ratios, right? And I am still constantly in flight or fight, flight fight or flight, constantly, constantly. Why is that?

SPEAKER_03 13:02

I think most women, midlife women, we live in that. What are we gonna be asked to do next? What should you know, who do we have to take responsibility for? Who do we have to care for? Right. And it's usually we're on the bottom of the list.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Oh, absolutely. Well, and then one of the things, because I've been watching those those metrics, those that data, is I'm gonna start incorporating more breathing exercises. And one of the things I I mean, yoga needer is great, you know, do it at lunch, 10, 15 minutes, not a big deal. Um, but also I learned about how I think it was like you breathe in for four seconds and out for six. Yep. And the longer outward breath triggers your brain to be in a more relaxed state, and it says, okay, I'm not in fear. And it's that longer outward breath that I'm not in fear.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

Your body is signaling relief. Yeah. But as I was telling you last week, as we were trying to figure out, you know, how do we literally affect our stress levels? I'm I was telling Laura to breathe in. Um, Pilates really teaches you to take in that, take in that breath. But my outward exhale literally sounded like that. And yes, it's supposed to be extended so that we're getting rid of the carbon monoxide. And I wouldn't get the breath out of me because I think that you know, for so long you hold things so tightly, right? And we're not breathing deeply, and we're not exhaling at the rate that we should be. And you're right, breathing exercises, meditation, and it all sounds so I don't know about you, Laura, but when I, you know, I'm gonna be 65 this year, and there were years when this was all talked about, and I'm just like, yeah, when I get there, when I get there, you know, maybe that's for somebody else, but maybe when I get there, I'll need that.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:08

But the problem is is that if we don't sit and do the assessment that you just did, yeah, um we always think it's for somebody else. But in the end, it truly, truly is important that we take the time, we do the assessment, um, find the metrics in any way that you can, or maybe you're better at reading the body. But you know, I I was at a birthday party last night, and we were half men, half women, and all of the men started talking about I've got a watch and I've got another thing on my wrist. And what is that doing? Oh, well, this tells me the time, and this tells me if I'm gonna die. That's literally what they were saying, and I think it's a time we are in this technology stage, it's not totally necessary, right? But it's nice to have those metrics that can affect the metrics. I can see that go down, I can see my sleep levels. It's it's you know, sorry, uh well, well, you Tori, um it's not meant to be a promotion. It's just it is it has affected both of our lives. So maybe along the way, um, you know, we can share the things that that that has affected our lives. Um, we're not here with all the answers, we're just here with with here's what we're going through, here's what some of our friends have said, and we're hoping that it'll help you.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Right, right. Well, and I gotta tell you, you know, I mean, what I think one of the other things that is a little bit harder for me to reconcile in my brain that, you know, I'm I'm 57, gonna be 58 this year. And I've got a granddaughter, and she just turned and she and she just turned 11.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

I remember what my grandmother looked like when I was 11. My grandmother did not look like this. You know, I feel mentally, I I feel like I'm in a space where I'm like 35 still. But I'm I'm I see the friends, I mean, I see my children and they're older, and I and I run into their friends, and they're like, and and I'm looking at them and I'm thinking, you really don't look any more than 16 to me still. It's like it's almost like I'm stuck mentally in this space. And I don't know if I started wearing, you know, double knit polyester elastic wasted pants and like I cut my hair short and I got a shampoo and set every week if it would help. Yeah, but um it's it's crazy. It's it's just I I don't know how to get myself there mentally to say, you know what, you you you need to slow down, or you know, yeah, yeah. It just changed my expectations.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

Yeah, I think, you know, we've always heard, and I I honestly believe this because again, I remember when my parents were in their 60s, and I was thinking, wow, gosh, they're old. But I really do believe there is a new 50s, there is a new 60s. There and the point with ageism is that I think we need to stop evaluating our worth and our and our ability to contribute um based on on our age. And I think we'll discuss this more as we go forward. Um, but the body doesn't lie.

unknown 18:38

Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

The body doesn't lie, but but mentally, where is our mindset? Where where are we at each day? Um, where are we looking for joy? Where are we looking for kindness? And I think if we can begin to assess where we're at, change our lives in the ways that we want to, um, and and and and be able to move forward with a new kind of optimism that sometimes age doesn't bring. Um, and I think I think that's why we were motivated to continue to do this podcast, because I think it's it's it's really important that that midlife women, I don't know, stick together. Right. That we stick together and we yeah, and we share. We share all the stuff. Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

We talk about the things, we talk about the things. I mean, the things that our parents didn't share, our mothers didn't share, right? And the things their mothers didn't share. I mean, you know, it was funny. I mean, when my my daughter, you know, took us, it was it was myself, my husband, and my daughter went on this long, beautiful hike in in the um Pacific Northwest here. And it was I'll send you photos. It's absolutely stunning, stunning. Um, it literally it felt like it was magical. It was like it was like being in this, I was waiting for a hobbit to you know rock, you know, run across the path or something. But um, but you know, it I was I was kind of thinking about it, and and it's like the funny things you think about in the quiet times. Um, for whatever reason, women's health and anything that has to do with periods or childbirth has been like this dirty, taboo, gross, you don't talk about it, and it's just a natural part of life. And and I think as the generations have come along, I think people have become more free and freer about talking about it, but but we're still I think pretty pretty new on that because I I would be shocked if my grandmother talked to my mother about any of it.

unknown 20:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

About any of it. And and I know very little from my mom. I know that I mean, you know, and and and in their time, you know, HRTs were were causing, you know, breast cancers. And and the but the HRTs have changed since then, you know, they're more bioidentical than synthetic. And so, you know, God love my mother for not wanting to to you know end up with any sort of you know breast cancer. Like the woman went through she went through hell. She went through hell because of the way her emotions were and and what the the estrogen drops were doing to her.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

Um but there's all kinds of solutions out there that that yeah, everybody's different, everybody's body's different, but there is nothing wrong with the discussion of it all right on both sides of the argument. Um and I hope that we can bring that. I hope we that we can we can you know say to our listeners that we know you're all very different, right? But there's there's things that we should share and that we should talk about.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

Um, so that again we we can we can change, we can we can bring uh more optimism and hope um sometimes in a in a in a time of life that can be lacking. So with that, Laura, um cheers on the other side of the country. Yes, um I'm really excited for season two. Um and I'm really excited to bring the conversation uh um to our listeners, and we hope you come along with us. Absolutely we hope that you, if there is something that you want to share, um we do have a private Facebook group. We would love for you to join Conversations Beyond Borders with us. We have a website that you can always comment. I create a monthly magazine, and Laura has all kinds of gratitude practices that we've talked about in season one. But um, yeah, I think uh I think I think this is the beginning of something, something even more special than we thought.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

Yes, yes, yes, yeah. I would love to see, you know, the the listeners, you know, join us on the on the private Facebook group and and you know, even just you know, throw in a comment about what you want to hear about, what you want to talk about. You know, um, yeah, yeah. And and if there's a particular, you know, topic or subject or you know, whatever, um, yeah, we're gonna be able to do that. Or an experience of yours. Can you exactly exactly? And it is it's private. It's a private Facebook group, and it's you know, women only, and you know, you have to answer questions that you'll be nice and not try to sell, you know, your your amway on the site. So it's really supposed to be set up as a you know intentional safe space to just to just you know share with each other. Yeah. Right. No shaming. Anybody shames, they're out. They're out. And you want to be a part part of the cool kids, no shaming.

SPEAKER_03 23:39

That's right. And um, I'm hoping, I'm hoping that we get to share some of the moments that have put us on the floor because we're just laughing so much. Um, Laura and I love to laugh. Yes, and I think it is the best medicine of all. So we're hoping you're gonna see a lot more of that as well. Exactly. So stay well.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Yes, yes, and we join us next week for another episode. For episode two. Yep. Conversations beyond borders. Thanks. Thanks. We'll see you then. Bye.