The Mindset Tapestry: Treating PMADs with a Healthy Mindset

Deanna Blasi DeAndino is the founder and CEO of The Mindset Tapestry, an educational children’s brand designed to help children develop healthy mindsets and empower caregivers to raise emotionally resilient and authentically supported children. As an educator, mother, and passionate advocate for mental health, Deanna created The Mindset Tapestry to help children build emotional resilience and foster meaningful connections with themselves and others.

Deanna holds a Master’s Degree in Early Elementary Education, focusing on teaching students with special needs. She has nearly a decade of experience working with children, particularly in Social-Emotional Development. Her dedication to empowering children through mental health education and creating nurturing spaces for emotional growth within the family is at the core of The Mindset Tapestry. Through her work, Deanna is committed to cultivating environments where both children and caregivers thrive emotionally and mentally.

Deanna shares her postpartum experience navigating the American healthcare system during the COVID-19 pandemic, how she found healing through positive affirmations and mindset shifts, and the inspiration behind the Mindset Tapestry.

Code: mentalhealth
https://themindsettapestry.co/?srsltid=AfmBOopoaihGh9Nvh-6pITxOS-fnEXQzP_MNozZMTp6YJvsCXsozjLg2

Transcript

Rebecca Gleed  0:00  

No, hello, everyone. I am so thrilled and excited to introduce our guest today on perinatal and reproductive perspectives. This is Deanna Blasi. Deanne Dino. She is the founder and CEO of the mindset tapestry. Welcome Deanna.

Deanna Deandino  0:21  

Thank you so much for having me on. I'm so grateful to be here.

Rebecca Gleed  0:26  

Yeah, thank you. You're coming out of New Jersey. Is that right? Yeah, yes. Okay. So represent Mid Atlantic. I'm in DC.

Deanna Deandino  0:34  

Very nice. It's cold, it's cold.

Rebecca Gleed  0:38  

It is brutally cold. I'm thinking four weeks from now, hopefully we'll get some some warmer weather and cherry blossoms.

Deanna Deandino  0:45  

So oh, that's sounds beautiful, yeah.

Rebecca Gleed  0:49  

Well, tell us a little bit more about yourself, the work that you're doing, and if you're up for it, go into your personal story of what launched you into the space of the mindset tapestry.

Deanna Deandino  1:03  

Yeah. So over the past year, I've been building the mindset tapestry, which is an educational toy brand for kids, really focusing on mindset and mental health. It was really born out of the real and the raw of motherhood. It was something that I never saw myself doing. I could have never predicted starting this business and creating and patenting this tool. But as we all know as moms, when you go through pregnancy and postpartum, it kind of lunges you into this different space, and you just become a different person. And I went through a really shockingly severe postpartum depression, and I don't mean to laugh, but it truly like was jarring and something I didn't expect because I had with my first pregnancy. I mean, my first son was born into COVID and the pandemic, and I thought maybe I had postpartum depression at that point. And I thought, you know, the feelings with the hormones and just the fear during the pandemic, I thought that, hey, that must be postpartum depression, like I didn't know, but when I had my second son, the way that it rocked me, it was very clear that I had never experienced anything like that before.

Rebecca Gleed  2:39  

How so? How are those different experiences? Because I'm thinking too to go through that during COVID was so hard and such a unique experience for anybody in the perinatal period. Like, yeah, so hard. So

Deanna Deandino  2:52  

I was a first time mom, and I was just, you know, he was born February 18, so I had him, thankfully, my husband was able to be by my side. Family saw him for like two weeks, and then it was like shut down. So it was scary, I think for me, mostly it was just the isolation like I had envisioned my maternity leave being quite different than it was.

Unknown Speaker  3:22  

How did you envision it? I

Deanna Deandino  3:23  

envisioned my maternity leave like surrounded by a community of other like bait, like Mommy and Me classes and really, just like the newborn snuggles and just like enjoying every moment of that. I wish I could say that I at least had that third part, but truthfully, I was so anxious that I don't even think I enjoyed it the way that I wanted to or should have.

Rebecca Gleed  3:52  

Anxiety will tell for you, because I hear such a wide spectrum of anxiety looks different in different moms. So how did for you.

Deanna Deandino  4:01  

So for me, the first time it truly just was, I'm afraid to bring my baby anywhere. I'm afraid to bring him to the doctor, like I am so terrified of him getting COVID that I just really isolated myself and, you know, even around some family members. So the anxiety was fear of him getting sick and just doing right by him, from like, a medical standpoint, and then obviously that created a lot of pressure for me, and that was tough. I tried to, like, not watch the news, but like, at that time, like everyone else, like we were so inundated by all of that fear that it was hard.

Rebecca Gleed  4:48  

You couldn't escape it. I don't know if you felt that way, but we were immersed in it.

Deanna Deandino  4:53  

Yeah, it was you. No one was talking about anything else. It was really. Really wild, but so yeah, I thought that was bad, and like not to do it a disservice, because it was hard and it was difficult and it was stressful, but after having my second son, I just didn't realize you could feel that low. I didn't realize you could be that depressed without having, like, a a true reason why, like, I just was in a black hole with my second son. So that was just scary. I just, I truly, like, didn't know who I was. I didn't I felt like I had to, like, find myself again, and I just didn't know where that person was. Yeah,

Rebecca Gleed  5:40  

yeah, it sounds very scary, and then not to feel that level of detachment from your own self and a period that's very demanding. And I this was your second, right? So you had a little one that you were already caring for. So that just sounds really tough.

Deanna Deandino  5:56  

It was. I think it was hard for everyone. I think it was hard for me. I think it was hard for my children. I think it was hard for my partner. I know it was hard for my parents, like I was not myself at all, and it was scary, and I tried to do everything I could, like I kind of like as any mother would. And I think this is just how we are hardwired. Like I knew I wasn't okay, and I felt such an urgency to be back to how I was supposed to be, because I had to take care of two little kids. I did have that like timer in my head being like, you're going back to work in a couple of months. Like you cannot go back to work like this. Like this is you can barely function. You can barely get out of bed. Like, how are you going to do the thing? How are you going to just get through the day? So it was all consuming. It was a tough time, for sure.

Rebecca Gleed  6:56  

And a lot of our audience are mom struggling with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, and part of what moves the shame is by sharing stories and experiences. And I think that a lot of our listeners are going to going to appreciate you just sharing here you are with kind of this dissonance between your own expectations, probably internally and externally, to get out of bed, get ready to return to work, and yet, you know you're you're not well, yeah? So what? What helped you move through that? And I'm guessing part of your healing was through the mindset tapestry,

Deanna Deandino  7:37  

yeah? So a lot of things came into play that helped me to heal. And so I think the first step was, like, just acknowledging, like, I don't feel right, like I remember in the beginning, like first two, like, I would say, around month two, I started to realize, like, this is different. This is a different feeling. I'm not really sure if this is okay. And I remember like, saying that to my partner and saying that to my mom and and, you know, everyone's reaction is always like, go speak to someone, go try to but that is hard, like it's not even I love, I love going to therapy. So that was I didn't have a blockage there where I didn't want to speak to someone, but finding the resources in that space, like who specifically deal with, like, postpartum, like, it just feels like so nuanced. And I mean, I remember, it got to a point where one day specifically, and I don't know why, and not to be like too like, I'll just share it. I got my period a month after giving birth, so I think that actually had a lot to do with it, because my hormones were just it was just like, I was still in the stages of, like, you know, postpartum, but I was, it was like, my body was like, oh, let's get back on schedule. And it's like, I wasn't ready for that. And the hormones were wild. And I remember one day specifically being so bad that I said to my husband, I don't know, it was a Saturday, and it was like a bright my my baby was born in May, so it was like a bright, sunny Saturday, like, nothing to do, like, it should have been just like this beautiful family day. And I remember looking at him and being like, I'm not okay, like, I have to go to the hospital, like, I don't know what to do. And he we had two little we had a baby and a two year old, and he was like, go to the hospital. Like, if you feel like that's what you have to do, like go and so I drove myself to the hospital. Any

Rebecca Gleed  9:49  

partners listening truly to have right? I'm guessing that made a difference. Of your partner said, go to the hospital. Yeah. And I.

Deanna Deandino  9:59  

So appreciative of how supportive he was during that time. I think he was probably scared too. But my what I'm trying to say is, like, in that position as a mom, as a woman, like you get to the hospital and like you're still no one's it didn't feel like anyone was there to help me, like I was still waiting in the ER waiting room. I waited like two hours. I finally got back to triage. I think they would call it. I was sitting in a room with like a curtain in between me and another, like a younger woman, and she was detailing to her parents about all the ways in which she was she had tried to kill herself, and I'm sitting there by myself in a folding chair on the other side of that curtain. I've had all those thoughts, and I'm like, How is this a safe and healthy space for me to be right now? So I actually wound up believing because I couldn't Mentally take I was nervous, like I didn't know it just didn't feel like a safe space for me to be well

Rebecca Gleed  11:07  

and also to speak to the vicarious trauma when you are in a place that you're help seeking the importance of that environment, especially initially, to feel safe and cared for, not to be further traumatized in the clinical world. We call that vicarious trauma, and you were simply just trying to get help. Yeah,

Deanna Deandino  11:28  

and I felt like what I was seeking was definitely I was my needs were not going to be met there. So I left, and unfortunately, went back home feeling probably worse than I did when I left, and then that trick that made me really that incident made me realize that I do need to get help. I wound up finding the PMed center in Eaton town, New Jersey, and that's when they, you know, they were wonderful. I wound up seeing a therapist. There, she was great. I mean, I remember going to every session, like, like weekly sessions weren't enough. Like, I remember the week felt so long to just go back and just sit there and cry every week, and it's like it was uncontrollable, like I couldn't harness what I was feeling. But it was just so dark and so all consuming.

Rebecca Gleed  12:24  

It can really feel when you say dark and consuming. Deanna is not this is not a minimization. This is truly so many moms feeling they can't see right when they start to feel better. Oftentimes, I don't know if this is how you felt. You can finally see color again. Yes, I'm going to this is in New Jersey, the PMed center. Yes, okay, I'll include them in the show notes for anybody listening from New Jersey or the vicinity. This is a resource.

Deanna Deandino  12:57  

They were really, really great. They definitely like kick started my journey to healing and getting better. Because from there, you know, the therapist was able to tell me things that should have been common sense at the time, but, you know, just to hear it from, like, an outside perspective, like, why don't you try meditating? Why don't you try working out moving your body like it sounds so cliche, but just having this expert say those things to me really did make me realize that I have to prioritize that for myself, because I just wasn't going to do it in like, the throes of taking care of two babies while my husband went back to work. Like, if someone didn't say that, I wasn't going to do it.

Rebecca Gleed  13:45  

Prioritizing mental health is what you're saying for anybody listening,

Deanna Deandino  13:48  

yeah, and you know, they did recommend seeing like, possibly going on medication. It did feel like, to me personally, that like this was something I needed to work on in a more holistic way. And so I did take that approach first before I decided to go on medicine. But it was always like that was an option, which made me feel, probably like there was a plan B, at least. But what happened was, is I became very disciplined. I started moving my body and working out every single day, and I remember going to these classes, and for maybe 20 minutes after moving my body, I would be like on this high and I would feel like that jolt of like serotonin, and just feel great. And then once that 20 minutes was over, I was back, I was back to feeling as low. But every day I kept showing up, like want, like craving that feeling. And I think that was a good thing. I think it put me on the right track. I started meditating every night. And that was not something I had done before. It was actually, I, like, didn't believe it would ever work, but now it's something that's two and a half years later, three years later, something I do every night, and I'm it's, it's been incredible. It's been so inspiring in like, how I decided to just, like, live my life in a different way.

Rebecca Gleed  15:23  

What I'm hearing too is this commitment that it may not be 20 minutes one and done, but committing to these different approaches. And for you, you figured out what's the best approach for you, and it's going to look different for different people. Totally for you, it was a more holistic approach. For someone else, it might look different 100% you not only had to find it, you committed to it. You kept showing up to move your body. You kept meditating at night. Just sounds really nice, yeah, and

Deanna Deandino  15:52  

it wasn't easy. And like, I feel like even just talking about it, it sounds like more glamorous than it was. Like it was rushing to the gym when my husband got home and being like, having like, 10 minutes to get there and feeling really erratic by the time I sat myself down to the gym floor to see the demo, and just throwing myself into it, still thinking throughout the workout, like, 40 minutes I have to be home back into the throws of it like it wasn't glamor even, like my nightly meditation, like I remember putting my earbuds in and being like, when's this baby going to start crying? I know he's going to interrupt this meditate like it wasn't as calming. But I think what you're saying is true, like the discipline of it and the commitment to it throughout month after month, like it did get better. And I'll say, like, I really don't think I was out of postpartum depression for at least a year and a half.

Rebecca Gleed  16:53  

I believe it, it can persist. And I love your point about it not being glamorous, because oftentimes it might look like Mommy and Me yoga or a quiet meditation in the backyard. No, I can very much relate with you. Deanna, in terms of it might look when I was working in the emergency department following my second daughter, I did my breath work, and my meditation was like maybe two minutes when I went to the bathroom, right? It is not always what you see on Instagram, or it may be that you're covered in spit up an apple sauce, and that's okay, but keep it real, yeah, but you gotta do Yeah.

Deanna Deandino  17:36  

So one of the main things that inspired the mindset of tapestry was I had read, I think, somewhere, or maybe it was listening to a podcast that positive affirmations can rewire your brain while speaking into a mirror. Yes, at the time, I remember being like, that is so crazy, so woo, woo. But I was so desperate, like, I didn't care. I would, I mean, I was like, cold, plunging in my bathtub. So I, like, at that point, I was like, I will try anything. And you know, I was doing that while I was driving, like, I would stop at a road light, put the mirror down, and talk to myself, and I would say, only allow myself to say positive things, and that was hard in the beginning, like my brain definitely was defaulting to some pretty negative and mean words that it wanted to say. And I would not allow it to happen. I would reframe and try to become more positive and super loving toward myself, which was felt a little bit unnatural at the time. It's

Rebecca Gleed  18:45  

like building a muscle. And can I ask, do you do Do you remember any affirmations that stand out or that might have a little meaning?

Deanna Deandino  18:55  

Yeah, so I remember being saying in the mirror, Deanna, you are so healthy. You are an amazing mom. I remember also just like, talking about my life in a way that was like, probably not true at the time, but I remember, like, almost having this like fantasy of, like, what I wanted my life to be, and talk, like, saying it out loud while looking in the mirror. It's so just impactful. Like, over a month or two of that, like you actually start you feel energized by the words, and you feel like, Yeah, this is my future. Like, yeah, this is the life I'm living. And over time, like it just rewire your brain. And I truly do credit that to like the confidence it gave me, the confidence to start this business like I had to rewire my brain completely. And I truly did that by just looking in the mirror and talking to myself, which sounds. Yeah, I know, very strange, but that is what happened.

Rebecca Gleed  20:03  

There's a neuroscience to it, and I'll also read in the show notes some of the neuroscience to back you up. It doesn't sound woo, woo. When there's research and we do CT scans on the brain, it's really compelling. But tell our audience a little bit more about the mindset tapestry, what you provide, what folks can expect when they go to your website?

Deanna Deandino  20:24  

Yeah, so the mindset tapestry is an innovative tool that I created and patented. It's a routine of positive affirmations with mirror talk and caregiver support. So it's and we maybe we can link it in the show notes so people could see a visual. Because, of course, talking about it is a little bit difficult, because it is something that doesn't exist right now, except for here at the mindset tapestry. So it's a tapestry that hangs on the wall, and it could be in your kids room, it could be in your kitchen. I know people hang it right by their entryway door, so when their kids are leaving to go to school, every morning, they use it. And it has a mirror in the middle. It has this, like I am flap on the bottom, where you pull down. There's 30 affirmations that kids can choose from. And those affirmation tags, they come off. They can be stuck right on the mirror. It's very tactile, multi sensory, and then those kids recite that affirmation into the mirror with their caregiver. There there's little cards that are for the caregivers that really give them, like empowerment and education about how to talk to their kids about that affirmation and how they can instill that in their life. So it really is like this positive routine for families to use every morning, every night, whenever they want to use it, whenever it works, wherever it works for their family. I know everyone's kind of made it their own, which I actually love so much about it, because before I started selling it and I was just using it with my own son, like I had this like regimented routine that we had and that worked for us, but to see other people make it their own and do it and in a way that works for their family, I just love it. But yeah, it's really just having the child practice these positive affirmations while their brain is actually forming. I think is so powerful, because, like so many of us, we we learn this really negative way of talking to ourselves, and then, like, we get to 30 years old and we have to, like, rewire our brains. It's like, undo. Why aren't we starting this younger while they are actually forming their perception of themselves and their perception of the world, like, why wouldn't we start this positivity early, giving them a strong inner voice, giving them confidence and like, a great self esteem,

Rebecca Gleed  22:58  

and also translate that into postpartum depression is for a lot of the moms listening or birthing individuals, there can be a disruption in the parent child attachment if you have postpartum depression. And so what I'm hearing is, let's say that you're finally feeling better, but you're grieving. Oh my gosh. I What did I just miss? How can we, you know, facilitate and promote a healthy attachment? This tool for anyone listening, you know, get your go to mindset tapestry and buy one, because this can relationally develop some security, loving attachment to the parent child. It's not just an individual focus, it's a parent child, and I think a family component. I also heard,

Deanna Deandino  23:47  

yeah. So it's interesting, because when I created it, I was thinking like, from the lens of a mom, but as a teacher as well. And I was thinking like, I want my I don't ever want my students to feel the way that I just felt. I don't ever want my kids to feel the way that I just felt like. I want them to have this mental health toolbox from when they're little, so that when things happen in their life, they can navigate them, and they have this strong inner voice already in place. But what's been really interesting is I hear from moms and dads that use it, and even teachers that in modeling this, these affirmations to their child, that it's actually having an effect on them. So, like, it really is this beautiful, like, relationship that you're forming where you it's having this residual effect, like you're not just it's not just for the child, but it's actually also really positively impacting your day, because first of all, you're saying those words to yourself, so the child knows how to do it. But then when you see the your child's little face in that mirror. Uh, mimicking what you just said. Like there's just no way you can start your day on a bad note, like it's just the cutest, most empowering moment. So, yeah, that's not something I thought about when, truthfully, when I created it, but in using it and having other people use it, that's been an awesome feedback that I've gotten.

Rebecca Gleed  25:22  

I mean, the first thing I'm doing after we log off is getting mine. So for anyone listening, where can they, where can they find you? Tell us a little bit more. Yeah.

Deanna Deandino  25:34  

So you could find me on Instagram at the mindset tapestry, and then also my website is the mindset tapestry.com

Rebecca Gleed  25:44  

Okay, and that's where folks can buy, yes, okay, and tell us the name so we can promote what the different resources are on your website. The different I can edit this part, but I thought there was more than one thing that they could purchase.

Deanna Deandino  26:03  

Oh, okay, so I do have a few other products. Our flagship product is the mindset tapestry, that's our core product. But then we also have a coloring book, which is like a great accompaniment to the mindset tapestry. So parents will like participate in this routine with their kid daily, and then it's nice little follow up routine. Children can actually color the exact affirmation from the card so like, they all match, and they can actually color that in. I also have a classroom bundle that provides teachers with a whole set so they get the mindset tapestry and then 30 coloring books. It's also great for people to donate to other cloud to classrooms like, I know, like a lot of grandparents and ideas, yeah, they they love donating that they want their grandchild to have this for their class. I also have Valentine Day cards, which will be here until Valentine's Day. So their affirmation Valentine's so it's really sweet. It's a deck of 24 cards. The kids can actually pick which affirmations kids in their class match. So my son and I are going to, actually, we did it the other day, and he's like, James is a leader, and so he's giving James I am the leader card. And like, he's like, Lena is creative, so he wants to give Lena the I am creative card. So it's really like, sweet and personalized Valentine's Day set, yeah, and then I have some fun printables, like vision boards and things like that that kids can make.

Rebecca Gleed  27:50  

Very sweet. Pun intended. Yeah, are coming on today. I can't wait to share everything with our audience. So many will benefit. Thank you.

Unknown Speaker  28:00  

Thank you so much for having me. You.