NFP with a Contraceptive Mentality? It's Not a Thing.

Can you use NFP with a contraceptive mentality? Is this something to beware of? 

No.

Sarah debunks the false worry that NFP users need to watch out for using NFP with a contraceptive mentality.

She looks at the origin of the phrase in magisterial Catholic documents in its context to discover what the "contraceptive mentality" actually refers to, and points to additional references.

References for This Episode:

Magisterial Catholic Church Documents:

Humanae vitae

Familiaris consortio (1981, St. John Paul II)

Gaudium et spes (Vatican II, read esp. paragraphs 48-52 for beautiful teachings on marriage)

The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality (1995, Pontifical Council for the Family)

Other References:

"NFP: The Myth of the Contraceptive Mentality," article by Fr. Ryan Erlenbush

"That Pesky 'Contraceptive Mentality,'" blog post by Christina Valenzuela of Pearl & Thistle

The Contraceptive Mentality is Real, But It's Probably Not What You Think, blog post by Simcha Fisher. 

"How to Talk about the Use and Abuse of Natural Family Planning and the Importance of Accuracy in Translation and Description," academic article by Kevin E. Miller in the Linacre Quarterly

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Transcript

0:53

Can you use NFP with a contraceptive mentality? That's the question I am going to address in this episode. And spoiler. The answer is no. No, you cannot, you cannot use NFP with contraceptive mentality. I am here in this episode to debunk this false claim that it is possible to use NFP with a contraceptive mentality. So first, what is the worry here? What is this, idea of NFP with a contraceptive mentality that people are discussing or, you know, warning against? And it seems like the idea is that if a couple is using natural family planning to avoid pregnancy for selfish reasons, for superficial reasons, that is what gets this accusation of. Using NFP with a contraceptive mentality and people can get really scrupulous about this and really oversensitive and careful, like, oh my gosh, you know, it's hardly possible to use NFP in a good pure way with a clean conscience because, you know, if I'm wanna avoid pregnancy, then isn't that a contraceptive mentality? No, it is not, it is not a contraceptive mentality to want to avoid pregnancy for just causes, if you're not using contraception to do it because, we'll, we'll dive into, you know, where this phrase comes from. What the church actually means by this phrase. And then we'll look at, is it possible to use NFP selfishly or badly? And then I'll. Point you to some resources where you can read further, to clarify for yourself that it is false to say that we can use NFP with a contraceptive mentality. Okay. So where does the church talk about contraceptive mentality? Where does that phrase come from? It actually was originally used by St. John Pauli in. Reference to people using contraception. So we can see this in John Paul two's 1981. Apostolic exhortation. Familiaris consortia, and then also in his 1995 encyclical. Evangelian vitae. So here's the quote from Familiaris Consortia. That's the 1981 document on the family. So good. Oh my gosh. You guys, I heartily encourage you to look up online or get from your parish library or whatever, get your hands on familiaris consortia and read it for yourself'cause it is so good. True, beautiful, and inspiring. And here is the quote on contraceptive mentality. John Palus references a disturbing degradation of some fundamental values, a mistaken theoretical and practical concept of the independence of the spouses in relation to each other. Serious misconceptions regarding the relationship of authority between parents and children, the concrete difficulties that the family itself experiences, and the transmission of values, the growing number of divorces. The scourge of abortion, the ever more frequent recourse to sterilization, the appearance of a truly contraceptive mentality. So here John Pauli is cataloging some shadows affecting family life. He's echoing what the council fathers of Vatican two did in their document Gaudium at best, which this is one of my favorite. Vatican, two documents gouty SP. Paragraphs 48 through 52 are so beautiful speaking about marriage. Gonna nerd out a little bit on that here. Just please go read that for yourself. It's so short, so beautiful, so true. Read gouty SP paragraphs 48 through 52, but at the beginning of gout, sp the council fathers who authored the document, they talk about the lights and the shadows affecting humanity today. And then he lists a bunch of the lights and a bunch of the shadows, and that's what John Paul too is doing here in Familiars Consortia. He lists some lights, some you know, good things, good developments happening in family life, and then some problematic situations in the world that are harming and affecting family life in a bad way, including sterilization, abortion, growing number of divorces, and a truly contraceptive mentality. It's clear here. He's referring to the mentality that contraception is, okay. He is not talking about NFP users using NFP for selfish reasons. Okay, so let's move on to Evangelian Vitae where he says the negative values inherent in the contraceptive mentality, which is very different from responsible Parenthood, lived in respect for the full truth of the conjugal Act. Are such that they in fact, strengthen this temptation when an unwanted life is conceived. Indeed, the pro-abortion culture is especially strong precisely where the church's teaching on contraception is rejected. Okay, so there John Paul two is contrasting a contraceptive mentality. With responsible Parenthood lived in respect for the full truth of the conjugal act. That language, that phrase. There he is pointing straight back to humane. Vita Humane vitae discusses how Christian Catholic spouses can exercise responsible parenthood and how, preserving the truth and meaning the full truth of the conjugal act is important, is morally required for, and. And there in Vita,, Saint Pope Paul six says that using natural family planning to, to avoid pregnancy when the couple has a just reason. This is a way of respecting the full truth of the conjugal Act and living out responsible parenthood. So John Pauli cannot be meaning that that using NFP is the same as having a contraceptive mentality. It is just not what he is saying here. There's one other place where the phrase contraceptive mentality shows up in magisterial church documents, and that is in the 1995 document the truth and meaning of human sexuality from the Pontifical Council on the family. So here there's a passage that warns parents to make sure that your kids aren't being taught to fear and despise virginity and babies and to keep your kids from being affected by the contraceptive mentality. That is the anti-life mentality, so that's the mentality of it being okay to use contraception. So it's impossible to use NFP Contracept. Because NFP is not contraception. What is contraception? It is doing something before dear or after having sex, the marital act, to prevent that act from leading to conception. That's what contraception is. It is against conceiving it, doing something to prevent an act of sex, to lead to conception. NFP is not contraception. NFP is avoiding the marital act when it is likely, or more possible for it to lead to conception. That's a totally different thing. And, and I Vita St. Paul the six, addresses the objection. Well, NFP is just Catholic contraception. He's a, he points out, there's a whole different realm of. Of anthropological and theological and moral values at play when we're using NFP versus using contraception and I'll just take a moment to address that a little bit here as well, because Yeah, it's true is there's the same goal of avoiding pregnancy in both cases, but one is a moral illicit means of achieving that goal using NFP. And one is immorally, illicit means of achieving that goal. And an analogy that I use, is say you want a hundred dollars, you, you want, or you need a hundred dollars. Well, how you get that a hundred dollars? It, it really matters morally. If you save on groceries and you're being really frugal and you keep yourself from buying things that you know you don't really need you exercise self-control and discipline so that you can save up a hundred dollars out of your budget. That is totally different from going and robbing a hundred dollars same goal here getting a hundred dollars, but one is a moral illicit means and one is morally illicit. Okay. So back to contraceptive mentality. Contraception is, as humane Vita defines it, doing something before, during, or after. An act of love making the marital act to prevent conception. So NFP, it is just illogical to say that you can use NFP with a contraceptive mentality. And so here my goal is to relieve the burdens of those, Catholic wives who are thinking, oh my gosh, like, it's hardly ever possible to use NFP correctly. I don't know just feeling really scrupulous. And wary about using NFP because you're so worried that you might slip into a contraceptive mentality. I wanna tell you, this is a made up sin. It is impossible to use NFP with a contraceptive mentality, so I just wanna relieve you on that score. Now that said, yes, it is possible to use NFP selfishly or badly. I mean, it's also possible to have sex selfishly or badly. anything good can be used in a bad way, including NFP, but NFP requires abstinence during the time when the wife is most likely to be desirous. Her experiencing of desire for her husband or desire for snacks is usually going to get a little bump when those ovulation hormones kick in, and so. Her husband, her come hitter pheromones that her body's, you know, emanating and also gonna be thinking more about wanting to have sex during that time. So there's more of a natural desire drive to have sex then. And so it's going to take, um, discipline to refrain to do the abstinence that is actually. Growing in our self-mastery and it's it can be like, that is the opposite of selfishness to control our desires. Um, now I will discuss in another podcast. Just cause and you know, what is just cause for using NFP and, um, outline some, you know, possibilities for how you could use NFP selfishly, or badly as well as good reasons for using it. I will point you to a marvelous article by Father Ryan Arlen Bush. Called NFP, the myth of the contraceptive mentality from 2001. I'm gonna have links to all these in my show notes, so go ahead and take a click and look. The Amazing Simcha Fisher, she wrote, about the contraceptive mentality in 2019. There's an article, the contraceptive mentality is real, but it's probably not what you think. And that is part of a series that she did. So click on that one and you'll find her other articles on the same topic as well. And then there is a great blog post by Christina Valenzuela of Pearl and Thistle, which is a fertility awareness. And body literacy, resource. Her article is called that Pesky Contraceptive Mentality, I think she has a lot of great things to say in that article. So I encourage you to go check out Christina Valenzuela's article or blog post as well as Simcha Fishers. And then do you want an academic article? I got you. Got you covered. Theologian, Kevin E. Miller. Wrote an article in the Linacre Quarterly, a peer reviewed academic journal of of medical and sexual ethics that came out November 1st, 2012. And his article is entitled, how to Talk about the Use and Abuse of Natural Family Planning, the Importance of Accuracy in Translation and Description. So there he goes a lot into the Yuta osa. The serious reason, just reason, but I think that also can just be helpful as you examine this idea that you can use NFP contraceptive. So I hope that's helpful for you. Be at peace. It's okay to use NFP. You are not gonna be slipping into the sin of using it with a contraceptive mentality because that's not a real sin.