Welcome to Sink And Swim with Dr. Julie Granger

Welcome to Sink and Swim, the podcast for high-achieving, deeply intuitive, neurospicy, and multi-passionate individuals ready to break free from the narratives that have kept them playing small.

I'm Dr. Julie Granger, and this space is for those who are done paddling furiously to stay afloat in a world that tells them to either sink or swim—when the real power comes from doing both.

Each week, we’ll dive into powerful conversations—featuring stories of women who’ve embraced their soul’s story, navigated the dark and messy middle, and risen into the life they were meant to live.

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Transcript

Julie Granger (00:00)
Welcome to Sink and Swim,

podcast that invites you to sink deeply into your

the stories you were born to tell about yourself,

swim and shine unapologetically into your soul's

I'm your host, Julie

this is the space where we celebrate the powerful, raw, and transformative stories of

have discovered that life isn't sink or

It's sink and swim.

These are the people who have gone from paddling furiously to rise, succeed, and stay on top in life,

and their relationships,

to instead sinking into the deepest and most hidden stories of the soul

discovering there the power to rise to even higher heights.

My guest and I will share our untamed, unfiltered truths and

and illuminate how to live in love with more purpose, wholeheartedness, freedom, and

So take a deep breath, settle in,

on your swimsuit, goggles, and

and get ready to sink into the deep end with us.

Julie Granger (00:59)
hello, hello. Welcome to the Sink and Swim podcast. This is our first episode. I'm your host, Dr. Julie Granger, and

I am a Soul storyteller. I am a coach and mentor for Luminaire Women and the owner of Illuminate Freedom Coaching and Education. My coaching business, I've been in the coaching industry for nine years.

And before that, I worked as a physical therapist, specifically working with really high achieving female athletes, and moved into the coaching industry after that, realizing that I had a higher calling for myself. So this podcast is about

shifting the narrative into your soul's most rooted version of yourself, most authentic version of yourself. It's about your sinking into your purpose, swimming into your soul's design purpose. And lastly, sinking into the community, the people, the tribe, your people that you're meant to spend your time with,

So Sink and Swim is a podcast for super, super, super highly ambitious luminaire women. And what I find in the people I work with and in myself is that

we tend to find ourselves living in a story or a narrative that isn't 100 % authentically ourselves. And That's not a new concept. But specifically when you're a really, really highly ambitious woman, someone who's naturally gifted and talented, whether it's in your career, whether it's athletically, artistically, musically, academically.

whether it's highly sensitive, intuitive type soul that you are, or whether it's all of those things. We have been fed all sorts of narratives, all sorts of stories on how we're supposed to live, how we're supposed to work, how we're supposed to parent, how we're supposed to be, how we're supposed to feel, how we're supposed to breathe. And it can feel really constraining and really conforming. And at some point in your life, you feel you

You need to break out of that. But it might come at a really big cost. You might burn some bridges. People might question you. You might lose people.

but you're not fully living your life's purpose. You're not fully being yourself. Something feels off. You know you're designed for more. You're designed for better.

So that is the purpose of this podcast. How it came to be is, you know, I, for myself, I have worn a lot of hats. I have shifted my narrative through so many seasons of life. wise, I have been an NCAA division one swimmer. I have been a card carrying

career ladder climbing clinician. I have been a researcher. I have been a professor. I've been a nationally and internationally known speaker. I've been a solo clinic owner. I have mentored and coached thousands of women across the globe. I've led a team of all sizes. and what I used to do, when every time I would shift the narrative in my identity, in my purpose, in my work,

it brought with it all types of relationship changes. I was afraid of moving on to the next thing my soul was calling me to do because I was afraid I would lose friends, would lose respect, I would be ostracized. People would think that I was inconsistent, that I was flighty, but that's actually just part of my genius. I've come to learn is I'm a multi-dimensional being. I sink myself deeply and intensely into something.

And then I outgrow it and I move on to the next thing. So I'm constantly expanding. And as I shifted each narrative and I constantly expanded into the next space, not only did I lose people and have to go through kind of the grief of my own identity loss and my own narrative switch and figuring out who were my people now who actually still understood and supported me. I felt really vulnerable to do that. So what I used to do is I kind of get my college athlete mentality on

thinking if I could just go faster, bigger, better, stronger, that it would be easier, that it would be less painful. But the very act of trying to skip over those vulnerable parts is exactly what made it harder. I was paddling furiously to stay afloat, to try and swim on to the next horizon. And it

It was throwing my nervous system out of whack. It was throwing my soul out of whack. It was throwing my spirit out of whack and my body.

And so the higher I climbed, the more I realized I was distancing myself not only from peers, I was losing people. but I was also distancing myself from my soul, trying to paddle furiously to stay afloat and swim to the next thing and swim to the next thing and swim to the next thing.

And the higher I climbed, the fewer people there were who were just really naturally gifted and talented at multiple things. And so,

I always felt like I didn't quite fit in or belong to anyone's social or societal space, that there weren't like a lot of people who totally got me, that totally got it. And in order to feel like I belong somewhere, I'd often shrink myself. I'd often qualify my accomplishments. I would attribute them to working really hard, which no doubt I worked hard, but I wouldn't talk about the truth, which was

I woke up like this. I'm just kind of good at this. Because I was conditioned to believe the narrative that, especially as a woman, if you own that, that you're arrogant, you're a narcissist. You're just bragging. So I'd bend into working harder than I necessarily needed to. And that way it was a

justification for earning the things that I earned.

And then what would also happen is I would get that backhanded compliment and you all know what I'm talking about when I say this. you're such an overachiever. you're trying too hard.

which subtext is, you're too much for me to understand or put up with. Right? I mean, when has anyone ever called someone an overachiever and truly just meant like, hey, you achieve high, that's cool. Like the objective meaning of the word, right? It's almost always a backhanded compliment. So if that's you, I just want you to know I get you.

Eventually, I find myself really hesitant to talk about my multiple talents, multiple passions and accomplishments because people would think I was too intense or too sensitive or just like trying too hard. I remember when a mentor of mine in my very first job as a physical therapist told me that I cared too much. And I was like, this is just how I operate. Like what the heck?

I was often given well-intended but actually hurtful advice. The first one being, just keep going. Don't let what anyone says or thinks get you down. As if all of my achievements were more important than feeling cared for, attuned to, and understood. Or I would be told, you just need to be grateful for your accomplishments. You need to stop complaining.

Why would you complain about all that you have accomplished? The subtext of that was how I feel about how people treat me is invalid because I've accomplished so much more than them. So I need to suck it up and stop complaining. And the third piece was, by the way, while you're there shining and achieving great things, you should probably give back and mentor people, which don't get me wrong. I love mentoring. I love coaching. It comes from a beautiful part of my soul.

However, because I achieve great things, I don't owe anyone anything. And if you are like that, you don't either.

I think the hardest part of all of this is if I showed up in any way other than fitting the narrative of a superhuman, super talented, super gifted achiever, if I showed up with emotion, if I showed up with vulnerability, if I showed up with what people might call weakness or a bad day or just being off my game, it became breaking news.

people would swoop in and take advantage. The strong smart girl had finally failed, yay. And like people would get off on that.

So life became this sink or swim world where I could either sink down and conform so that I felt like I belonged and was understood and was attuned to by people and shrink away slightly from my soul's gifts and desires and talents. Or I could completely jump in, swim into my soul's story, swim into my soul's desires and talents, but be unrelatable.

and be distanced from people. Sink or swim? Which one was I going to choose?

For me, it wasn't until I had a harrowing experience with cancer in my early 30s

faced the truth. That for me and for most people, life is not sink or swim. It's sink and swim. For me, I had to fully sink in order to discover how to not just survive.

cancer, but also to thrive on the other side. And in doing so, I did have to let go and sink certain narratives, certain expectations, certain beliefs of my own, certain expectations people had of me. I had to let go of people. I had to let go of career ambitions of mine.

And then, as I did, I found in those deep dark places...

the power to truly rise and swim to highest heights while being surrounded by people who truly encouraged me to fully live out my soul's deepest purpose and to tell my most authentic story. And

So it was in my willingness to sink into my depths into the hidden, painful and often taboo or too much stories that I'd been conditioned to hide so that I would belong and fit in and feel loved that I saw the alchemy of all of those hidden parts.

they themselves contained the instructions for how I could be fully alive as authentically and joyful as possible. It was in those depths that I saw that those parts of me that people couldn't relate to, they weren't a problem, they were a gift. And I

embraced that the deeper I sank, the higher I could rise and swim back up.

After I went through cancer treatment, I began to apply this painstaking and often grueling philosophy of sink and swim to everything else that I did. I've built a million dollar business that delighted me, and I've also torn it down on purpose when I outgrew it. I've exited from a healthcare career and identity that I thought would be mine for life. I've had heartbreaks where people I thought were my closest allies turned out to be anything but that.

My husband and I have sold everything and traveled full-time as nomads, only to settle down and reinvent our lives again. I've experienced tragic and traumatic losses that have redefined my relationship with my soul and with a power that's deeper than me. And each time I haven't rushed to recover or get to the other side. I haven't chanted affirmations. I haven't spiritually bypassed. I've sunken in. I've been willing to sink my identities. I've been willing to sink careers.

I've been willing to sink relationships that don't allow me to fully express the story of my soul. I've rewritten the narrative of my relationship with my body, with my mind, and with my soul. And I've emerged in a life, in a career, in work, and in relationships that truly align with my soul story. The people, the places, the purpose, and the identity of who I am and what I'm here to do.

And so here's my story. I'm equal parts mad scientist, sensitive, intuitive, empath, whimsical goofball, tortured storyteller and poet, voracious book nerd, dog and plant mom, writing fountain, tree hugger, wildflower frolicer, map reader, foodie, rain puddle splasher, and muddy mountain biker and world adventurer.

And by the way, I adore anything that oozes sophistication. So you can find me in the morning riding my bike, splashing through the mud and at night dressed up in bejeweled lilac Valentino shoes and a completely bedazzled dress. Totally my jam.

I have a bucket list of majestic libraries I want to visit across the globe. I have an obsession with rivers and glaciers and I love all things high tea. British society, big fan. But the thing is I didn't always tell and show these parts of myself and my story. In fact,

I often believe these parts were too much for most people. They were too nerdy, too high of standards, too, I was too good at sports. I was too quiet. I was too sensitive. I was too introverted. I was too intense. I was too playful. I had too many interests and I was too inconsistent. I didn't fit neatly into the labels that people expected me to wear and the stories that people, myself included, expected me to tell. If you're someone who

has never felt that any one label describes you very well. You've never really fit into any one box. I want you to know I see you.

For nearly 16 years, I have helped clients see that the sink or swim narratives and stories you live by invite you to conform to someone else's prefabricated narrative of who you are, what you're here to do, and who you're here to love.

Hidden behind all those labels are stories you usually will lock away from people due to what your family conditioned you to believe and do, what your religion has conditioned you to believe and do, what...

your culture has conditioned you to believe and do about gender, sexuality, whatever it is, what your profession has conditioned you to believe and do and be.

hidden behind all of those labels are ways that you shape, shift, and conform so you don't get canceled, or so that you're not the person that everyone talks about when you leave the room.

These are the stories that you edit, that you filter, so that you can adhere to what's expected of the labels that have been assigned to you. And when you adhere to those labels, you exchange belonging. You exchange maintaining connection to people who expect you to conform to the standards of that label so that they can trust you, so that they can stay comfortable, so that they can get their needs met, and so that they can keep power over you.

But the truth is, I know that your filtered, edited, and hidden away stories, the best part of you. I know inside those stories are your hidden talents, all your hidden gifts, and the instructions and power to help you rise to your highest heights.

I call these deep stories about you your soul story. These parts of your soul story define who you really are, what you're here to do in this lifetime, and with whom you're meant to spend most of your precious time. Books like The Alchemist, one of my favorite books, by the way, call this your personal legend. You might have heard of this as your divine design, your human design, your Dharma. I call it your soul story. The truth is

Most people never realize or fulfill their soul story. Instead, they paddle furiously to stay afloat in their prefabricated and pre-assigned labels, thinking that that's what's going to make them happy.

Why do we do that? Because our biggest and most important need as humans, our biggest desire is to belong.

Yes, we need to live out our purpose. Yes, we need to live out who we really are. But what's more important than both of those things is to belong.

We don't want to become exiled. We don't want to become ostracized. We don't want to be kicked out of our family, friend group, professional group, neighborhood, or whatever group it is.

Your true mission on this planet is not only to fully express who you are and fully live out your purpose, but it's also to surround yourself with people who celebrate you for doing exactly those things.

The sink or swim approach to life is what I call the conformity corset. A corset is supportive, it feels supportive, but it also constrains you. It boxes you in. It tries to fit a too expansive being into a too small container.

The truth is, your light and your soul are too bright to be contained in such a corseted space.

And the only way to fully discover, live out your soul story and be surrounded by the people who encourage you for doing that is to fully and bravely remove the corset. Remove the stories and the narratives that people expect of you. Sink deeply into the depths of your soul. And there you discover the power to rise and swim effortlessly into your soul story. It's not sink or swim, it's sink and swim.

The people who embark on this journey are few and far between

Some people get thrown into this sink and swim process when life forces their hand, an illness, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, some other life altering circumstance. Others make the gut wrenching choice themselves. No matter how you get into it, when you sink deeply into your soul, into the dark parts of your soul that no one wants to talk about.

When it's terrifying, when it's lonely, when it's painful, that's where you find the power and courage to rise and swim into your soul story.

The people who do this, call them the Luminaire League. These are the people who bravely and willingly illuminate the path to freedom for themselves, freeing themselves from the conformity corset. These are the people who fully shine as the most authentic version of themselves and their lives and their work and their relationships. These are the people who are willing to tell their hidden naked truths, hidden stories.

and see that those are what give them power and help them connect to their people and find their people.

These one percenter types oftentimes have their voices drowned out by the more outspoken voices of people in the conformity corset, which is exactly why I started this podcast. Because when you hear the stories of these people, you just might feel something inside of you that says, my God, you are speaking to me. Or my God, if they can do it, I can do it. It might just might.

give you permission and inspiration to leave your own conformity corset behind, sink deeply into yourself and swim into your soul's calling as a luminaire too.

So here's what you can expect from this podcast. I'll release an episode each week during the season of the podcast. will include storytelling, guest interviews, and of course solo episodes with yours truly.

and lots and lots of naked truths that cover the deepest depths and the highest heights will be shared. You can expect that we will freely and openly own our gifts and talents, and we'll be constantly working ourselves to break out of the narrative that we need to qualify them or make them smaller so that people don't feel uncomfortable around us. This podcast is for Luminaires, highly ambitious people who know you must sink deep

in order to rise and swim. You embrace both your depths and your heights. Luminaires are one unit of a whole league, both a particle and a waveform of light, who help illuminate the path to freedom for others who look up to them. So if that sounds like you, if you tend to be someone people look up to, this podcast is for you. Luminaires are women who are on the quest to surround themselves with people who fully get them.

fully embrace who you are, who fully embrace your purpose, who do cartwheels and backflips each time you step further and further into your truth and into the light. Luminaires are highly ambitious women or people from other marginalized groups who may be recovering members of the gifted and talented program, highly accomplished athletes, highly talented musicians and artists, or well-respected leaders and pioneers.

This is for you if you've ever felt like you needed to dumb yourself down in order to be understood, seen and held. This is for you if you have ever minimized your accomplishments or achievements so that you didn't come off as arrogant or braggy. This podcast is for you if you've been told you're too sensitive, you're too much, you care too much.

This podcast is for you if you know some part of you deep inside of you aches to get out and be seen and that you're living a lie and you don't feel authentic.

So welcome to Sink and Swim. I encourage you to subscribe to this podcast, follow it or leave a review. I'd love to hear what you think. You can connect with me on social media @drjuliegranger on Instagram or go to my website, illuminatefreedomcoaching.com. That's illuminate with an I, not eliminate with an E. and make sure to join me for our upcoming episodes where we will feature stories and explorations from people

who have had the courage and self-trust to break free from religious institutions and identities and live out their own spiritual path We'll unmask gender and sexual identities, even when it means ending marriages and meaningful relationships. We'll talk to people who have lived through the alchemy found in the pain of walking away from businesses and jobs that no longer serve them. We'll talk about the courage and conviction it takes to overcome serious immigration challenges to be with the person you love.

And the steadfastness to leave a career where you've sunk in hundreds of thousands of dollars and years of your life to move on to something that's far less lucrative, but far more joyful for you. So thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. And I can't wait to see you in the next episode.