Where Softness Meets Strategy: Ashley Sterken’s Success Recipe for Ambitious Women in Business

Ashley Sterken is the founder of Hive Ambition, a community that supports women in business to grow with clarity, confidence, and intention, most importantly, without burning out. 

This is a topic that’s really near and dear to my heart, having mentored women in business, especially women in healthcare business, for nearly 10 years now. Ashley has a background in speech pathology, and her long, bumpy and curvy path has brought her to leading and mentoring other women entrepreneurs. 

And one really cool thing we discussed that I think more women need to feel safe and have permission to say out loud is the true inherent isolation that comes with entrepreneurship and our drive and desire for friends; we talked about how it’s really okay to say, “I need more friends” or “The friends I currently have aren’t working for me anymore.” 

We talk about her unexpected leap to full‑time entrepreneurship and leading Hive Ambition—she knew all along it was coming, but then was pushed unexpectedly by the universe before her picture‑perfect timeline fell into place—and about balancing the masculine and feminine energies in your business and why it’s not a 50‑50 split for most people. 

We talked about why you can’t “spreadsheet your way through” everything and also why you can’t simply dream, manifest, and work on mindset stuff—you need both.

We also highlighted the importance of conveying vulnerability as a leader and mentor, the brave act of listening to your inner voice before you’re in crisis and have no choice but to listen, and Internal Family Systems, something that’s really benefited Ashley as a woman in business and informs my own work with my clients and, of course, with myself!

06:49 – From Speech Pathology to CEO: Ashley’s Journey
Ashley shares her winding path from clinical work to leadership and entrepreneurship—and how Hive Ambition was born 

13:02 – The Power (and Pain) of Community 

How connection heals the inherent isolation women feel in entrepreneurship, and the realities of navigating big transitions and unexpected pivots as a leader in community 

21:52 – When Life Says “Pivot” … and you gotta go whether you’re ready or not

From building a nonprofit after Hurricane Helene to realignment and learning to put it on pause—how Ashley took a brave step back even when what she was building was a good thing

35:51 – Inner Guidance & The Loud Nudge

How and why to recognize your internal cues before a crisis hits, and the magic of checking in with yourself regularly

48:44 – Building with Soul: Strategy Meets Spirituality

Merging masculine structure with feminine flow, redefining success, and reclaiming self-worth in leadership 

01:20:23 – Play, People & Personal Truths

Connect with Ashley and learn more:

Instagram: @hiveambition

Website: https://www.hiveambition.com/

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Transcript

Julie Granger (00:00)

Welcome to Sink and Swim,

podcast that invites you to sink deeply into your

the stories you were born to tell about yourself,

swim and shine unapologetically into your soul's

I'm your host, Julie

this is the space where we celebrate the powerful, raw, and transformative stories of

have discovered that life isn't sink or

It's sink and swim.

These are the people who have gone from paddling furiously to rise, succeed, and stay on top in life,

and their relationships,

to instead sinking into the deepest and most hidden stories of the soul

discovering there the power to rise to even higher heights.

My guest and I will share our untamed, unfiltered truths and

and illuminate how to live in love with more purpose, wholeheartedness, freedom, and

So take a deep breath, settle in,

on your swimsuit, goggles, and

and get ready to sink into the deep end with us.

Julie Granger (00:55)

What's up everyone? Welcome to this next episode of the Sink and Swim podcast. I am interviewing Ashley Sterken the founder of Hive Ambition, a community that supports women in business to grow with clarity, confidence, and intention, most importantly, without burning out. This is a topic that's really near and dear to my heart, having mentored women in business, especially women in healthcare business, for nearly 10 years now. This is such an important conversation we had. In fact, Ashley has a background in speech pathology and has

along a bumpy and curvy path found her way now into leading and mentoring other women entrepreneurs as well. And one really cool thing we discussed that I think more women need to feel safe and have permission to say out loud is the true inherent isolation that comes with entrepreneurship and our drive and desire for friends. We talked about how it's really okay to say, hey,

I need a friend. I need more friends or the friends I currently have aren't working for me anymore. So she's created a community for that. We talk about her unexpected leap to full-time entrepreneurship and leading Hive Ambition. She knew all along it was coming, but then was pushed unexpectedly by the universe before her picture perfect timeline fell into place. And she really does a nice job of vulnerably exposing the lessons that came with that in a relatively short period of time.

We talked about balancing the masculine and feminine energies in your business and why it's not a 50-50 split for most people. We talked about why you can't spreadsheet your way through everything and also why you can't simply dream, manifest, and work on mindset stuff. You need both. We talked about the importance of conveying vulnerability as a leader and mentor. And the most important thing, the brave act of listening to your inner voice before you're in crisis and have no choice but to listen.

Lastly, we dug into one of my favorite topics, Internal family Systems which is a system that I like to use with my own clients and in my own client work, and of course with myself and something that's really benefited Ashley as a woman in business. So without any further ado, it is my honor to introduce Ashley Sterken

Julie Granger (02:58)

Hello everyone. Welcome to this episode of the Sink and Swim podcast. I am absolutely excited and just honored to introduce our guest today who I didn't actually meet that long ago. And the very first time we met, I was like, I need to have you on the podcast. We definitely need to talk. like a kindred spirit. So I'm introducing Ashley Sterken who is the founder of Hive Ambition, Ashley, you tell us what it is actually, cause you say it way better than me.

you

Ashley (03:24)

Well, first of all, thank you for having me. I'm really excited to be here. And yes, I am the founder of Hive Ambition, which is a community for women, female or female entrepreneurs who are really looking to grow their business without the burnout, build businesses that are truly in alignment with their purpose. And I believe that that is achieved through

paying attention, but also through community. So it's a very community centric business. We have an online membership. We have some mentorship programs that I think we're going to chat about later. And then some additional strategy work. So that's kind of the ways that we can work with different entrepreneurs.

Julie Granger (03:49)

you

love this. I was actually just talking last night with Daniel, my husband, about the wiring and hormonal needs of women and how we are so much more, not that men aren't wired for community, but it's just very feminine and how our world, especially COVID world and online world and definitely the entrepreneurial world, promotes isolation. It just does.

Ashley (04:16)

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Julie Granger (04:29)

And it makes us go against our very nature by pursuing this path, which is a great path to pursue. So bravo. Thank you for creating. And like really putting that first. That's what I've seen, at least, is putting community first. OK, so I met you. I was as I'm sure many people do.

Ashley (04:38)

Yeah.

Yes. Yes.

Julie Granger (04:48)

I was sort of internet stalking you for a while, not because I was afraid to join. I just had a lot of balls in the air. And it was like, can't commit to that until I feel like it's aligned intuitively. And I finally jumped in about a month and a half ago, maybe two months ago, and I really love the friendship forward part of the community that's

Ashley (04:58)

Sure.

Julie Granger (05:10)

What I've always taught my own clients when it comes to growing your business is friendship in the front, business in the back, friend, the mullet method. And that's the vibe I was looking for. I've been in many, many women's networking group that are not that. It's very masculine. We're trading business cards. It's like give your 30 second spiel.

Ashley (05:16)

Yes. Yes, I love that.

Julie Granger (05:36)

I always felt like speed dating to me, like pressure. So thank you for spearheading this. Tell me about what led to the birth of Hive or like, we got time.

Ashley (05:36)

Yeah. Totally. Yes.

Oh my God, that's a very long story, but I know that's part of it.

So I'll start at the beginning. I have been in the tech space, operations space for going on like eight years. I have a background in recruiting, I actually have a crazy background. I started as a speech pathologist. I majored in speech language pathology. I've ping ponged a lot.

Julie Granger (06:01)

Mm-hmm.

Yes! I love this part of the story!

Yeah.

Ashley (06:11)

And once I actually started learning more about human design and learned that I'm a manifesting generator, I was like, that makes so much sense that I ping ponged all over the place. Are you? Yeah.

Julie Granger (06:20)

Same! I'm also a manifesting generator.

It's so validating because I always thought there was something wrong with me and I was like, actually, yeah, this is what I'm supposed to do. Yeah, exactly.

Ashley (06:25)

It is. I know. Yeah, actually, I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. You ping pong until you find your place. And that's, think,

what I've what I did for a long time. So I started as speech therapist and from Texas. So I did that for five years in Texas. And then my husband and I moved to North Carolina, got into recruitment, into physician recruitment at the hospital. That was

Julie Granger (06:46)

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (06:48)

not the job for me. So that one didn't last very long. And then I eventually ended up in a tech recruitment role. So I was working there for a long time and, and, you know, as overachieving women, type one, man testing generators do, I started doing a lot of other jobs outside of just recruitment.

Julie Granger (06:50)

Mm-hmm.

Of

Ashley (07:07)

And so I was doing business development. was helping with marketing. I was helping with strategy, all these things. And I had a wonderful CEO who was a great mentor to me through those eight years. And he really saw in me probably something that would have taken me a lot longer to see. And he started saying like, your operations, right? Like you can run all of these different things and you're good at running strategy. And so he promoted me into a COO role, which in...

Julie Granger (07:20)

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (07:32)

theory is great. Right? That's the that's the that's what every everybody wants to be in that sea level like hit the top the whole thing. And I just I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed because I felt like, okay, this doesn't totally feel aligned. But this is the success. This is the success as defined by society and I should be happy.

Julie Granger (07:34)

Yeah, in theory.

Ashley (07:54)

And I kind of just like kept stuffing, stuffing, stuffing until I just couldn't stuff anymore. And my body very outwardly started screaming. I, during all of this, I went through COVID, went through new motherhood, some other things. so through all of that, through all of that, I realized like, I need a little help. So I started therapy.

Julie Granger (08:09)

Small things, just little side items.

Ashley (08:16)

with a very focused IFS therapist, which completely changed my life. And then I just landed. It really helped me start getting clear on understanding what are those parts that come in and say, you should be happy, you have the success, all of this. And it really helped me understand what was happening deeper within. And then from that work, started leaning a little bit more into my intuition and being like, you know what, I'm not that happy. I don't...

Julie Granger (08:20)

Love, I have.

Ashley (08:42)

sure, I might have all this stuff, the money, the all the title, whatever, but I'm not that happy. Why? And from that journey came Hive because at the time I was also like you said earlier, very isolated. COVID did it, new motherhood did it, all of these things. And I was like, I just want a place where I can meet other women who also are ambitious. That's that's one thing is I knew I love being a mother.

Julie Granger (08:55)

Yeah.

Ashley (09:07)

But I also love going after my dreams. I like working. It's something that I would have really enjoyed my whole life.

Julie Granger (09:10)

Mm-hmm. Yes.

I'm going to pause you right there. Can we just

celebrate a mother who's like, I also like working. Like the story that, I mean, there's so many stories mothers are fed, as you know, as everyone's listening knows. But I love this piece of actually owning that you like it, not that you have to do it, but I genuinely see that as part of my identity. Amazing.

Ashley (09:21)

Yeah.

Yes, and that

was I and I did recognize that or I mean there there was certainly dialogue around that inside right I mean it certainly it took time for me to accept that that was okay um but once I did I realized like you know I actually am really lacking a community of women who also have that same drive um

Julie Granger (09:46)

of course, yeah.

Amen.

Ashley (10:00)

And that's

really what started Hive Ambition and Hive Ambition started as a passion project. It never started as like, I mean, it was a business, but not really. I thought I was going to continue working my job. And then things just started to shift. like, that's a very long winded answer of how Hive came about, but I think it's important. Like that's really how all of those things really led me to start Hive. It wasn't some

lifelong dream I've had it kind of came out of the cracking open of like this is actually what I really want to be doing

Julie Granger (10:29)

This happens as I hope it does in every episode so far. You're, I think, the sixth episode. It's like that's the premise of the podcast. It's when you crack open and sink deep is when you actually really discover who you are and what you're meant to do. And as you are literally doing who your people are, those are the three tenants that the sink and swim process creates for people. And it's like the alchemy of that cracking open.

Ashley (10:41)

Yeah.

Right.

Julie Granger (10:57)

of your story, actually of yourself, helps birth something that you never really solve for yourself. Yeah. But what's really interesting is like, this is the thing I love to do is like see the through line all the way from like speech language pathology to like your physician recruiter. I don't know which part of human design this falls in. I'm not a total expert, but like the fact that you seem like you're such a connector, communicator, connector, like.

Ashley (11:01)

right, yeah, I didn't know it was there. yeah, absolutely.

Hmm.

Julie Granger (11:23)

that is such a beautiful part of your story. And I love how you're like, this is a long winded answer. I'm like, we only do long winded answers here. That's just like, that's where the beauty is, is sort of in that like up and down and up and down and up and down and all of that. So awesome. And you've gone full time in Hive now, stepped out of that COO role and it's growing. So it was local to like the Asheville area. Now it's growing, yes?

Ashley (11:29)

Hahaha

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have. I have.

is.

Yes

it is. Yup. Yeah.

Julie Granger (11:48)

Yay, exciting.

Wow, so cool. And I also love that you like...

are acknowledging out loud because I think this is something that we as women, myself included, can carry a lot of shame around, which is I want a community. I want friends. I think that especially like we're roughly the same age, think, like in your like 30s, 40s, like sort of that, like, especially with motherhood too, like it can be so isolating. And I think that there's just this societal thing where it's

Ashley (12:02)

Mm.

Julie Granger (12:15)

not okay to say I need friends or I want friends or the friends I once had are no longer my people. Or maybe they are and I'm looking for a different kind of friend, you And so I love that you're saying that because I remember not that long ago, I too was, especially in our little town we'd moved here, I think we moved here around the same time, I was like, I'm in a new town. I know some people and really cherish and love them. And I feel alone and I'm looking for friends.

Ashley (12:20)

Yeah.

Right?

Julie Granger (12:43)

And I remember just hanging out with someone who I'd recently met and they were also said, yeah, I've been looking for friends. And it gave me permission when someone else said it out loud to say, yeah, me too. And like kind of drop that shame around it and give it a voice and make it okay. And so I'm so glad that you're creating a community that is giving women the ability to say, yeah, me too.

Ashley (12:59)

Yeah.

Well, and that

was, you know, I think it's post COVID. I think that was something that COVID really brought to light was how much we actually need community. At the beginning, you know, it's, it's fun. Everybody's working from home. We're making sourdough. We're doing all these things. And it seems so like.

Julie Granger (13:16)

Yeah. Novelty. Yeah, right.

Ashley (13:22)

It was very like novelty, right? You know, like, oh my gosh, this is so wonderful. We're not so busy. And there were certainly things like that that kind of came out of COVID too, that people realized like, wow, I've been really over-scheduled for a long time. So there's certainly things that, positives that we realized through that isolation in COVID. But I did notice particularly that I realized that I was like, I've also been working remote for eight years. So I wasn't new to the remote work game, but I was definitely new to working remote.

not being able to see my friends, having a newborn and all of our family is in Texas, so we have no family here. So it was like the three of us for two years. And I loved ever, I loved, that was about to be a lie. I didn't love every second of that. But there were so many things that I loved about it that I came out feeling like, wow, I'm really craving some friends.

Julie Granger (14:05)

Cheers.

Ashley (14:14)

and some people that I can feel like I relate to. And I think that's really what I took from COVID. And I think it highlighted that for a lot of people.

Julie Granger (14:17)

Yeah.

I you're right. think that COVID, the alchemy of COVID that cracked open deep down moment when the whole world sank deep was it really helped people reevaluate who they are.

Ashley (14:29)

Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Julie Granger (14:38)

what they're supposed to be doing. I I think the fact there were so many job layoffs and furloughs and switches and jobs, like all that kind of stuff, that was a mandatory thing for a lot of people. And who my people are, because you're immediately isolated from your family, your friends, people can't travel. And like you said, it's really fun for, I mean, nothing's fun about a pandemic, but like the lifestyle changes that came, like,

Ashley (14:58)

But there were parts of it that... Yes.

Julie Granger (15:01)

were, I think, a real eye-opener for some people. Like, ooh, I can see the world really differently. Like, was this really big opportunity. My business blew up because of COVID. Like, it was almost uncontrollable. And because that's what I help people do. But it's like the piece about who are my people, I think that it was also one of those line-in-the-sand moments for a lot of people to reevaluate not only who I am and what am I doing with my life, but also who do I belong

Ashley (15:05)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Right, absolutely, absolutely.

Julie Granger (15:29)

So, yeah.

So you've gone full time in the last month. tell me what kind of things you've learned because it's a big leap to go full time in your business and leave your stable job. Yeah.

Ashley (15:32)

Yes. Yeah,

Yes, stability. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. So, you know, I had gone part time in January. And I knew my biggest goal for 2025 was to go full time. I have it, you know, I had written everywhere. Like it was, that was, I was going to go full time. And we,

Julie Granger (15:48)

Mm-hmm.

On the vision board. Yeah.

Ashley (16:00)

for a slew of complicated reasons. We had to let go pretty much of everyone in the company, which it was, I will say it was a small company, but it's still huge, right? That's still a huge thing. And perhaps it had been rose colored glasses. I do feel like I had been kind of led to believe that it wouldn't affect me in the same way that it would affect others. So I was absolutely blindsided in March. Well, actually in February.

It happened in February when I was told I was being let go also with everybody else. And it was just like shocked, shocked. And it was like really scary. And I immediately went into that mode that I've lived in for so long, right? I immediately went into that mode of like,

Julie Granger (16:30)

goodness.

Yeah.

Ashley (16:43)

All right, we need to create a spreadsheet. need to look at our finances. You know, like I totally went into that action, immediate action versus process. And I caught it, which is part of the healing, right? Like I caught myself in the same day where historically I may have never caught it and just stayed in that kind of like very hypervigilant state. And so I caught it and it's like, okay.

Julie Granger (16:47)

like the war room. Yeah.

Ashley (17:10)

take a deep breath, this is what you wanted. It just didn't have it on my terms, right? As we so often want the world to work.

Julie Granger (17:15)

Yep.

The universe is like, here you go. It's like, throws a brick at you to make it happen. Yeah.

Ashley (17:22)

Yeah. And I think that's really what it was like this

push. And I think that I was still, you know, I know that this this podcast is kind of about like that intuition led business and I still like yes, I'm a huge proponent of that. But that doesn't mean I don't still struggle with it. That's why I'm so passionate about it is because of the fact that it still feels so hard to me, right? That's why I wanted the community to help and encourage one another. But I do feel like it was

Julie Granger (17:32)

Yeah.

course.

Ashley (17:48)

It was the universe's way of pushing me and saying like, trust yourself, you got it. I was waiting for the perfect, I was waiting for like, okay, everything is sorted at Hive I've got this much revenue coming in, everything's like going smoothly, and then I will just easily step from this financial stability into this financial stability and like, easily, right. And that's just not the universe's like, no, like you kind of have to.

Julie Granger (18:08)

Easily. Seamless.

Ashley (18:16)

I expected it to be clear and easy. I think that what I've something I've learned through that whole process is like clarity comes sometimes like after the the leap, like after that happened. I got clear like in past month. It's been like, well, things are things have changed that I didn't even expect to change, right? Like my business it while it's keeping the same like foundational.

Julie Granger (18:26)

with action, yeah.

Mm.

Ashley (18:40)

things, it's different than what I thought I was building in February. And that happened because I because of the push because I had to like, I had to get clear. I didn't have that like, stability anymore. You know, and I don't even like saying that like, I have stability in the business that I am building. And I do believe that but I mean, in terms of that financial security, all of that stuff. It did light a fire.

Julie Granger (18:44)

Wow.

Ashley (19:06)

And in a way, I think it forced me to lean, to trust the process, to lean and trust myself. That was the biggest thing is trust myself.

Julie Granger (19:11)

No kidding.

Well, props to the universe. You have covered a lot of terrain in a month, And what's so interesting is, the part about clarity comes with action. Sometimes you really have to just swing the bat. Start swinging the bat. You'll learn to play baseball by swinging the bat.

Ashley (19:15)

have to be here.

Right.

Julie Granger (19:29)

You you can't learn to play baseball

Ashley (19:30)

Right.

Julie Granger (19:31)

by visioning about it and watching it on YouTube. And or maybe like especially the manifesting part of you like, yeah, you need to have a vision. You need to have kind of an idea of where you're going. And it's like that was enough for you to be pushed off the diving board into the deep end. Like you knew how to swim. yes.

Ashley (19:47)

with it at the time, but yes, now we're back,

right?

Julie Granger (19:50)

And

to me, sink and swim is when you sink, it's there that you find the instructions and the power to trust that you already know how to swim.

Ashley (20:00)

Yeah, I love that. Yeah.

Julie Granger (20:02)

Like you have

to sink, you've got to be pushed down. Not to say that you have to go through pain in order to life's greatest heights and joys, but it's that broad depth of like that full depth of human experience of you are a full human. Like you have experienced full humanness in a month, all of it, which is, yeah, I was going to say it's a bit of an indoctrination sometimes, but it's so beautiful.

Ashley (20:05)

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah, you've been humbled. A lot.

Julie Granger (20:31)

just to see and to what I love about it as a leader of a company and a community is you're going first. You're modeling that this like, you have great branding and great stuff that you put online. Like the marketing is great. And this is even more, I think poignant of the lesson, right? The sort of thing that this is who we are and this is what the brand is about.

Ashley (20:41)

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah.

Julie Granger (20:55)

We don't shy away from the hard or, you know, and when we get pushed, we're here and we have a community around us to help us. So, so good. So good. Well, congratulations on your big leap. And I love the part two that you said about stability.

Ashley (21:03)

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Julie Granger (21:11)

It's the perception of stability, right? Because there's like nothing more. I always think there's, I have the same thoughts. have them every day. Like, oh God, maybe I just need an income, like a stable paycheck. That would just make life so easy. Does it though? What do you think?

Ashley (21:13)

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

Great.

I mean, I think there are surface level reasons that it makes it so easy, right? But at the end of the day, how stable was it? Right? Like in one phone call, what I thought that I had for the rest of the year was gone. So it wasn't as stable as I had made myself believe it was, truly. Absolutely. Yeah.

Julie Granger (21:35)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

someone else holds your fate in their hands.

Which can feel good when you're not quite... It's like when you're still on the training wheels, you know, of your bike and you're not quite ready to remove those training wheels, but that someone pulled the training wheels off without your consent in many ways. And you're like, you know, I got to figure out how to pedal real fast. It reminds me of, I don't know if you've seen Schitt's Creek, but it reminds me of...

Ashley (22:08)

Yeah, and I felt that.

Julie Granger (22:16)

Well, for anyone.

Ashley (22:16)

I know everybody says that whenever I say no they're always like my god you gotta watch it

Julie Granger (22:20)

For anyone who has seen it, it's the scene where, I think it's Alexis is learning to ride a bike. And it's just like, she just starts pedaling and it's super wobbly. And the coaching is just pedal, pedal, pedal, just keep pedaling. And she figures it out, you know? And it's really, really cool. Well, there's one lesson that you told me offline before we got online that I think is really, really just, it's like a chef's kiss.

Ashley (22:34)

No.

Yeah.

Julie Granger (22:44)

is that you also started a nonprofit affiliated, I guess, with Hive. I know it's its own thing, around Hurricane Helene. And you've made some decisions around that. Tell me about that.

Ashley (22:47)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I have. So like right before we got on the podcast, Julie's like, I wanted to talk about your nonprofit too. And I was like, well funny story about the nonprofit that happened this week. So I did I started Hive Growth Initiative after Helene. Now that I have a bit more clarity and distance from Helene, I see very clearly that that was more or less a trauma response, right? It was my I came in and I I was action, right? need action.

Julie Granger (23:02)

with

Fair.

Ashley (23:23)

and I, I know, yeah, which there's nothing wrong. I'm not, there's nothing wrong with that, but, having a little bit more clarity now, I didn't put in quite the amount of thought that I really should have into thinking, is this the right time for me to do this? So what I've decided is, you know, and I have an incredible board. all I have a lot of things kind of like quote unquote figured out. have.

Julie Granger (23:23)

Your generator. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

yep.

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (23:47)

people

to support me all the things but I had to make a decision I read this book I'm going to shout out here because I just feel like it was so helpful if there's other high achieving women listening to this. It's called how to stop trying by Katie Williams. And it was I I devoured that book in like 48 hours. I just felt so seen. And she talks about like, are you doing the things you're doing?

Julie Granger (23:59)

Hmm. Love that title.

Ashley (24:14)

because you want to do them or because you feel you need to show up for other people or that you need to prove yourself or that you need to, that you're doing it for others more or less. And there's beauty in doing things for others, right? But also not at the expense of yourself. And I think that's what I learned is that I had to have a hard conversation, let's see, Thursday, yesterday with my board and just say, listen, it's not never.

Julie Granger (24:23)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (24:40)

It's just not right now. I'm just pausing on the nonprofit because I'm one person and I have to accept the fact that old me would have kept it going. I would say I can do it with the growing of Hive ambition and being a mother and I can do all these things. And I think now I just said, it's not the right time.

Julie Granger (25:02)

Yeah.

Ashley (25:02)

And it was

hard to walk away from because of the mission, right? The mission was to support women entrepreneurs of Western North Carolina through funding and free workshops and whatever to help elevate their businesses. So it was hard to press pause on that. A lot of guilt came with it. I had to work through of like, all right, like this doesn't feel good. But I also had to recognize that I am still doing that work through Hive Ambition.

Julie Granger (25:06)

course.

though, absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

You are.

Ashley (25:31)

I am still doing that work in a different way and I can come back to Hive Growth and pick that back up when I have a little bit more capacity. And so it was just, you know, it's, I've had to learn that failure so that one of the things that I've struggled with a lot is I want to, I tend to want to complete things that I start.

Julie Granger (25:40)

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (25:53)

And it's always been a good trait of mine, right? I have lot of integrity and commitment to a project. But it has also really burned me because I sometimes don't check in and say, hold on, is this even like what I should be doing? Because I see not finishing as failure. Instead of seeing it as realignment, right? Because that's really what it was. It was like a pivot of like, hold on, I need to check in.

Julie Granger (25:54)

Amen. Yes, right.

you

Mm-hmm. Ooh.

Ashley (26:17)

And I need to make sure is this really the thing that is lighting me up right now? Is this the thing that feels aligned for me right now? I love the purpose. I'm aligned with the purpose and the vision, but the work right now at this season in my life, does it feel like the right time? And the answer was no. it wasn't that, that shift has helped me so much as someone who really wants to achieve and really wants to finish the projects. It's not failure. It's you checking in and realigning.

Julie Granger (26:30)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ashley (26:44)

That's all it is.

Julie Granger (26:45)

You know, I see this parallel between your job that you were pushed out of without your consent at the time, right? Even though you had the vision to leave it. And this, when you said, I like to complete things, and then when you were talking about with your job.

Ashley (26:51)

Great, yeah.

Julie Granger (27:02)

that it didn't end on your terms, like when you wanted it to be complete and you could tie it up with a bow. There's this like funny parallel that's like, well, the universe is telling you that right now Hive growth is complete. That's the timeline, right? Like that's the universe being like, it's actually complete here right now in its current iteration. And I love that you are sensing and telling your board too that it's not a never, it's just a not right now.

Ashley (27:05)

Right. yeah.

Right.

Right.

Julie Granger (27:28)

It's like you had the right idea and you took action regardless of whether... Right!

Ashley (27:32)

And we raised funds. it also,

like we were literally giving out grants right now. And so that's like your comment about it's complete for right now. That was part of what I had to really come around to is like, we did not fail, right? We raised almost $5,000 that we can now give out. And that's beautiful. So like, and that was, you know, but again, that overachiever in me is like, well, but I wanted to raise.

Julie Granger (27:37)

Right.

right.

Wow. Yeah.

Totally.

Ashley (27:57)

hundred thousand dollars right like it's but it's this constant and I you know again back to the IFS because I know you relate on that it's that constant part of me that pushes me in a lot of ways and I think you know I mean those parts are those parts know every story of my life and they're they're bringing

Julie Granger (28:15)

They do.

Ashley (28:17)

energy from experiences that I've had over the years and feeling like, you know, we still have to push her, we still have to do these things when really I'm changing a little bit of that inner narrative than what I used to have. And so I have to remember that that part is showing up in the only way it knows how to show up right now. And I just have to help kind of listen, but help them soften and say, you know what?

Julie Granger (28:25)

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Ashley (28:42)

It's okay. We did a

Julie Granger (28:43)

Yeah.

Ashley (28:43)

great reminder. We actually did a great job. We did a really beautiful thing. And it's not never, it's just not right now. And so that whole, know, I have changed my life in so many ways and that's one of them is I'm not so hard on myself. I don't let those parts have the dashboard. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Granger (28:51)

Yeah.

They don't get the steering wheel. Sometimes they take over like covertly.

They're like little ninjas who come in and they're... And what I love about this whole thing is you stepped away before, and if we're gonna use IFS terms, this is internal family systems for anyone who's listening. It's what I use with my clients and Ashley has experienced it in therapy and it's...

Ashley (29:06)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Julie Granger (29:21)

They took over before there's a system of parts that they are there to protect you, but they are firefighters. They literally come and burn the whole freaking place down, which is not what a firefighter does, but I guess they do sometimes. Anyway, they know how to work with fire. And they come in and burn it down. You're on fire. it's usually, especially as women, especially those of us who are raised and conditioned to help and serve at the expense of yourself.

Ashley (29:34)

that.

Julie Granger (29:48)

They play an important role because that's what gets your attention to finally go, enough's enough. Need to rest. Need to back away. But it usually comes in the form of something like when you said several years ago your body spoke up. It's usually in that form. It's usually in the form of disease or a relationship issue, like a major conflict in a marriage or a family thing. It's usually pretty gnarly.

Ashley (29:53)

Yep. Absolutely.

Right. Yeah.

Well, it's usually because they had to get loud. It's usually because you didn't, they've been nudging a while and you were not listening and you were pushing, pushing, pushing. And then they're like, I know how to get her attention.

Julie Granger (30:16)

Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Yes, they pull that lever. It's the only lever they know to pull, just like the

other part you were describing, the super achiever part. That's maybe the overachiever, Like way overcooking, doing way more than they need to do. That's the only lever they know how to pull. And so they come with value, which is the premise of IFS, is there's not a bad part. They come with value because we are only human, and we can only

Ashley (30:46)

Right.

Julie Granger (30:48)

move forward with the tools, skills, resources, and awareness we have at any given moment. And I love that you, it just shows how much you've healed in that you felt the nudge of, this is going to become a fire way early. Yeah.

Ashley (31:02)

Yeah, I felt it much easier. Yes.

Yeah. I did it before it got out of control. And that felt so good. That felt like it felt so good to be like, okay. And it's kind of that check in, you know, I didn't really used to check in as much and that book, again, that book kind of like, there just a lot of things where, know, just talking about our own experience. I'm like, I need to do a check in of my own.

Julie Granger (31:11)

I'm so happy for you.

Yeah.

Ashley (31:27)

And when I did, I'm like, yeah, there's a little cleanup to do in here. Like there's, got a little crowded. Kind of like clear some room for my own mental health. as that's what I did. And it felt good. You know, I mean, there's parts of it that I'm like, I'm kind of bummed that I don't get to do this thing that I think is super cool. but again, it's like a not right now. It's just on pause. You know, I have it set up.

Julie Granger (31:33)

Hahaha

Yeah...

Mmm.

Ashley (31:53)

Right? It's a 501(c)3. My board was like, we're here. When you're ready to pick it back up, you got us. They're super passionate about the mission. like I, when I'm ready to jump back in, I will be able to jump right back in. But if I try to force it right now, who knows where it would end up, right? Because it would, it would not be aligned with the timing and with like what I'm trying to do right now.

Julie Granger (31:58)

Yeah.

like as a manifesting generator, that's also a real boss move. Like the ping-ponging you talked about that we both experience as manifesting generators. It's like you so want to do all your little side passion projects. like, I just have this beautiful sense as like the manifesting part of me that can really envision and see. I'm like, ooh, you know what? I feel like, like you said, you need to raise your capacity in a way, which you will. And it will.

Ashley (32:21)

Yeah.

Julie Granger (32:41)

come around, it always does. It's going to be more than this side hustle for you. And that's maybe what it's meant to be. And that's all it is right now. It's sloppy seconds. So not in a bad way, but yeah. Yeah.

Ashley (32:45)

Yeah.

Right. I think I'm giving you this. And that is how I felt. Yes. And I would

patch myself. So I would have action items, right? We would meet monthly and everybody kind of had like, all right, you're gonna handle this. I'm gonna handle that. I'd catch myself. And this was the people pleaser, the not wanting to fail part of me.

Julie Granger (33:01)

Hmm.

Ashley (33:07)

rushing the night before because I didn't want to show up having said I didn't do my things. I didn't want to show up and not have them crossed off the list. But it wasn't a priority to me until the night before because it was like you just said kind of sloppy seconds because it's like I was so focused on building Hive ambition and that business.

Julie Granger (33:15)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ashley (33:28)

that Hive growth was kind of this like back thing. And that was when I really started to realize like, something doesn't feel good about this. Like this is not me rushing to just get it done so that I can like report good to teacher more or less of like, I did it, I did my things. That didn't feel like I was really in it. And I wanted to feel like I was in it. And I just didn't have the capacity. That's all there is. There's no judgment on me not being like passionate about the cause. I know that I am, but it's just

Julie Granger (33:35)

Hmm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, totally.

Ashley (33:55)

It just wasn't the right time for me. That's all it was.

Julie Granger (33:56)

It's such a

two things can be true at once. You can have the passion and drive even, and also really bravely honor. It's such a brave thing. It's such a boss thing to be like, that's why. To be like, actually, no, not right now. I would just, it doesn't surprise me that there was guilt and it was hard to have that conversation.

Ashley (34:00)

Yes. Yes.

It's a hard pain too.

in.

Julie Granger (34:23)

That's just what makes you really passionate about it. it's like a sign that this is such a beautiful thing. It's like one of your many things you've birthed. You're not telling it, no, I'm not going to take care of you. It's just, you know what? We're just going to go on vacation for a little bit, lay on the beach chair and drink some margaritas and like not pursue this as like this hardcore work thing. So beautiful.

Ashley (34:34)

Right.

That. Yeah.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Julie Granger (34:50)

for anyone listening. What a beautiful just lesson there in honoring and shutting something down even when it's a good thing.

Ashley (34:57)

Yeah, I there's a lot of power in letting go. know, like, letting go doesn't mean failure. doesn't mean you didn't, you know, Not finishing something doesn't mean failure. It really just means you listened, right? It just really means that you checked in.

Julie Granger (34:59)

Yeah.

No.

Hmm. Yes.

Ashley (35:13)

And that's definitely not failure. It's definitely not failure. So like, I think the reframing of that was really helpful for me. It's like, you're not failing. If anything, look at how far you've come, right? Like you're checking and long before all of the physical thing, know, along before the burnout, along before your body screaming at you, you checked in. And so like reframing it, I think is really helpful for, for women who struggle with kind of saying,

Julie Granger (35:15)

Go!

Ashley (35:40)

taking on all the things and feeling like they have to like keep all the balls in the air. Because if they don't, someone will see them as a failure. And it's like, it doesn't matter. If you can change the narrative, that you don't see yourself as a failure, and you can reframe it, like that's what matters. And also nobody's gonna think you're a failure. Everyone's gonna be like, I don't know how she was doing it in the first place. That's really what people I mean, for the most part.

Julie Granger (35:50)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ashley (36:05)

I mean, nobody really is going to say like, my gosh, what a failure she was. That's a story that we've created inside of ourselves.

Julie Granger (36:12)

Totally.

Well, and I think that I love how you're rewriting that narrative to, no, it's not. This is actually really brave. And the last person I interviewed, her name's Kelsea And we were talking about the idea of the Bob Ross concept. I don't know if you know Bob Ross, like the painter who does like, they're like, he has that soothing voice and he paints the happy little trees. We were talking about the concept of happy little accidents.

Ashley (36:20)

Nah.

yes, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Julie Granger (36:38)

and how

there isn't failure. We don't make mistakes. There's only happy little accidents. And it's like, now you're like, it felt so good. There's this happiness in making that brave choice and making that brave move. And accident also has kind of a negative connotation to it, because I really honor that this was born from Hurricane Helene. It was traumatic for all of us who live around here.

Ashley (36:43)

Now!

Absolutely.

Julie Granger (37:04)

Yeah, sure, maybe it was a trauma response. And at the same time, that's an OK thing to have. That's, you know, some people spring into action when they're in trauma. And that's how you process it, you know? And that's actually completely healthy. So it's like, it's almost like it was born from there, born again from the sinking into the depths. And you've done this beautiful dress rehearsal for when it is finally fully birthed into the world.

Ashley (37:10)

More!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Totally.

REX!

Yeah.

Julie Granger (37:33)

Like you are ready. The only way to learn, as we said, the only way to gain clarity is to swing the bat and to do it. And you're like, you've gained clarity on it and it's going to be even better when it's rebirthed.

Ashley (37:40)

Yeah.

And that was something I had to remind myself too, is like, you know, would, I would tell this to a lot of other people, but in most times I was, I needed to say it out loud for myself to hear, which was I've never run.

a community focused organization. That's what Hive is. And I've certainly never led a community focused organization when that community is in crisis. So this was my first time and I would say that to people when I was talking about things how, you know, that was a really it was a stressful time for everybody. But there was this immense I mean, it was like a pressure cooker because it felt like I have to show up. It's me, right? And, and I've worked through that, right? But that is how it

Julie Granger (37:57)

Yeah.

Ashley (38:24)

felt. That is how it felt. I, and I really, feel like I said that so often. My husband's probably heard it 10 times during that because I think it was really like, I needed to hear it. You've never led a community focused organization and you've definitely never led one when your community's in crisis like that. You did the best thing you knew how to do.

Julie Granger (38:34)

Yeah

Ashley (38:44)

And like you said, I love the metaphor of like you had a great dress rehearsal and then it's ready to pick back up. So that whole experience all has happened within the last like seven days and it has been such a beautiful like, like it kind of felt like I breathe. It's like, okay, I don't have to carry. Again, you can put down.

the bag, like you don't have to carry all of it. And I think that's something that, you myself, I won't speak for all high achieving women, but like I have always struggled with is like a reminder of like, yeah, like I can just, I can just shed a little extra weight. don't, I don't, I'm the one carrying it. I don't have to do that. so like checking in and finding out like which weight can go.

Julie Granger (39:05)

Yeah.

yeah, totally.

Amen. Put the bag down. Or like check the bag. Let someone else carry it for you. I mean, there's so many options. I love the bag metaphor too. It's like, yeah, you don't have to pack that bag right now. You don't have to bring it.

Ashley (39:25)

Yeah, put the bag down. Right? Totally.

Right. You might've overpacked because you're very organized person, over planner. That's yeah. You know, right.

Julie Granger (39:41)

I'm going on a trip today and I am definitely over packed. I like to have options, okay? I don't know what I'm gonna want to wear when I get there.

That's in my human design. I actually just learned that yesterday that I need to always be surrounded by lots of options. And I'm like, that makes sense. That's why I over pack. That's fine. There's something so beautiful about all this and we keep kind of alluding to it. I just want to dig into it, which is...

Ashley (39:49)

really?

interesting. Yup. Yeah. Yeah, I did too. Gotta play it.

Julie Granger (40:04)

It's like you've really made this shift. If I'm thinking at it from a 30,000 foot view into a really nicely balanced between your masculine and feminine energies. And I know that's something that you're also bringing into Hive. There's a workshop, right? In the next two weeks, three weeks, panel discussion. This is going to air after that. So you can tell us about it now. And someone can go retroactively learn about it.

Ashley (40:22)

Yeah, next Friday.

Yes.

Julie Granger (40:32)

I think that that's a really beautiful thing, especially someone who's functioned in that strategy and operations space to really, you've gone through this whole transformative journey, this alchemical journey to, it's like rekindle your feminine flame too. It's not that it's one or the other simply because you identify as female, it's that we need to have a healthy balance of both, especially as entrepreneurs.

Ashley (40:49)

Yeah.

both.

Great.

Julie Granger (40:58)

So tell me about your viewpoint on that and how it's being incorporated into Hive as well.

Ashley (41:06)

Yeah. Yeah, it's funny. Like I didn't really know about that that much about masculine and feminine energies and all of that until recent years. And yeah, I've been like overdrive. And I'm asking I was also the only female at the company for quite some time. I was the only female on the executive board for quite some time as I'm in tech. No, right. It's mostly men. Now I did help change that narrative at the company, which was great.

Julie Granger (41:17)

Right.

in a tech company, right.

Ashley (41:31)

But I did have to often show up in order to be heard, in order to be seen, right? You kind of had to show up in the same way everyone else in the room was, or that's what we think, right? That's what we think. And that's what I thought at the time. So I did show up in a very kind of like that masculine and over-functioning. I'm a big over-functioner. And I know that about myself. But I was ignoring my intuition and burning out in the process.

Julie Granger (41:41)

Right, yes.

Ashley (41:56)

It's no coincidence that I started a passion project that turned into a business that is literally rooted in community, which is, like we said at the beginning of the podcast, a very feminine thing, like building community. And I think that that came to me, like that idea landed with me because whether I knew it or not at the time,

Julie Granger (42:14)

it.

Ashley (42:20)

That's what I needed to work on. Right? Like your business is the business or I'm sorry, the business is your business, right? The business you start is the business you need yourself. You need to work on. And yeah, I've been always hyper independent. I got it. I got it. I'm good. I'm good. And I've trained everyone in my life really to believe that.

Julie Granger (42:24)

Right.

what you need to your medicine. Yep.

Ashley (42:41)

And so I didn't really need anybody. I can handle it. I'm organized. I'll fit it into the calendar kind of life. And yeah, heavy operations role, COO, I knew structure. I knew it very well. I can put a system in a process in place like nobody's business, right? But now

Julie Granger (42:53)

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (42:58)

I try really hard and again, it doesn't come as easy. So I try really hard to remind myself that you can lead with softness and strategy. Like you can do both because it's once you like, I still love a good plan. That's a strength of mine. And I know that it's why I am.

Julie Granger (43:08)

Whoo!

Ashley (43:14)

good at helping women build businesses. But what I think I've, I've learned is like, we got to have the plan for sure. Right. But we also have to leave room for like the magic. We also have to room for like, when something happens to like, my god, yes, let's bring that in. And that wasn't in the plan, you got to have a little bit of like flex more than I used to. And so I think that feminine has started to

Julie Granger (43:18)

Yeah.

Mmm.

Ashley (43:41)

She'll really come in and that's what my neighbor Chaunci who I know you know, you know, she's been, she's had a front row seat to Hive happening. I mean, she's really the first person I ever spoke out loud and said, I think I want to do this thing. And she and I have partnered and we've been doing this program called pollinate.

Julie Granger (43:44)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (44:00)

which is, it's called Pollinate, Grow with Strategy and Soul. And it's all about, it's a 90 day mentorship program of a small cohort of women. We don't do over eight. And it's all about helping women build their businesses in alignment.

Julie Granger (44:04)

love.

Ashley (44:17)

that will actually work. like, Chaunci is a Jungian depth psychologist coach, Or depth psychology coach. She's also the founder of Walking Rooted, which is all about helping women explore their inner narratives, reclaim their feminine power. Like she is like a feminine goddess, right? Like she's her feminine, she is like, and she brings mass, she still has that balance, but her, everyone's balance is different. I think that's a little bit of a

Julie Granger (44:23)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (44:43)

misunderstanding about this. think a lot of people interpret this of like, well, should balance means 50 50. And it's like, no, because everybody's different. And so for Tronsky, I think hers is a little bit higher in that feminine. That's her that's her strength. That's her beauty. Mine, I am a little bit more masculine, and I have to work harder to bring in the feminine just like she has to work harder to bring the masculine. And so what we've created with pollinate that I love so much is like, we work together.

Julie Granger (44:49)

50-50.

Ashley (45:09)

So we bring in this perfect mix of like, know, Chaunci helps these women really uncover what are the underlying stories that are going on in here? Are you, is this the business you're building because you want to do it? Is it because you think it's, you're doing it for someone else? Like what are the, what are the things that need to be untangled a little bit on the inside and help them really get to that clarity?

Julie Granger (45:11)

Perfect.

Hmm.

Ashley (45:33)

And then I come in, because again, if you stay on that side, it's beautiful. All these ideas, this clarity, this like feel good, but like without the action, it stays there. It doesn't really grow. And so then I can come in and I help say, okay, amazing. We always lead with Chaunci. We have sessions and Chaunci does the first hour. And then I come in and I say, okay, beautiful. You're open, right? We want to open people up.

Julie Granger (45:41)

Yeah, totally.

You

Ashley (45:58)

And then I come in and we talk strategy art. We're going to take all of that beautiful goodness that you and that Chaunci just helped you unlock. And we're going to put a little bit of like a system around it so it feels sustainable. And now you have a path for growth and now you can build. This is how you truly build a business that's in alignment because it's like it feels good and you have the next steps on how to grow it and actually turn it into a business so you can live the life that you want to live. And so it's

It's just been we're in our pilot program now and it's just been like to see these women the real the epiphanies they've had some of pivoted, right? Some have learned like, wait a minute. Like Chaunci kind of helped we helped them untangle this and they're like, I don't know if this is actually the direction right? That, you know,

Julie Granger (46:36)

happens. Yes!

Ashley (46:46)

is success, Chaunci and I were having this conversation last night and you know, I guess one of the participants was like, well, now I feel like, you I don't know, like what if this was supposed to help me grow my business and Chaunci was like, wait, wait, wait, this was supposed to help you find clarity and alignment and this worked for you, right? Like you have figured out, I'm not sure that this is the direction for me and that's success. is, that's the whole point is we're trying to find the thing that's yours.

Julie Granger (46:59)

Yeah.

Ashley (47:13)

So I went on, I digress, that's a long, but I'm very excited about this program. This has been our pilot, like I said, and we're opening it up for the public, like end of May, 1st of June. Yeah.

Julie Granger (47:13)

Love it.

Amazing.

Well, perfect timing. This is going to be, hopefully, fingers crossed, if I can organize around it, like early May. So if anyone's listening, go look into this program. First of I love the name that it's Pollinate. It's perfect. And the whole bee metaphor is just so beautiful. I love a good metaphor. Just story and metaphor are like, no, Keep it up. Keep it up.

Ashley (47:29)

Great.

I get carried away with the branding like

I love it. It's a lot of fun.

Julie Granger (47:47)

Well, you know what's interesting? And a couple of things. First of all, I just heard you saying, I thought I was supposed to build my business, and now I think I'm going in another direction. And I heard you say there's no failure, it's only success. And I'm like, isn't that what we just said in the last segment about you? Like, again, yep.

Ashley (48:03)

Right. But it is retraining that it's a hard,

it's a hard narrative to rewrite, I think for anyone. I mean, I think it's, it's hard for women. It's hard for men. We just have grown up in a society that has defined success as so black and white. Yes, exactly. Exactly.

Julie Granger (48:09)

my gosh.

Sink or swim. It's literally why I named this podcast Sink and Swim.

Ashley (48:24)

Right, and so it's

like helping people and myself included, right? I'm in the trenches with my group right now. I'm going through a lot of change and it is hard to accept that like, all right, having, know, losing my job earlier this year, it wasn't failure, right?

Julie Granger (48:32)

Literally, yes.

Ashley (48:44)

It was a different form of success because that was what I was working toward anyway. Right. And again, for this participant, it's like, no, that wasn't failure. Like you are now getting closer to your alignment. Really. That's what's happening for you because you're realizing this isn't it.

And that's wonderful because the next the thing on the other side of that, you don't even know what it is, but it's not failure. I think so often we think what's on the other side of some of these big changes in our life or pivots is failure. it's like, you don't want you don't know that. But you it's so often not. It's rarely failure. It's typically a new chapter. Something something is coming that you you can't even wrap your head around. Right.

Julie Granger (49:14)

Yeah.

So true. It's so true. The other thing that I love that I keep hearing you say, on behalf of loving you and supporting you is.

as we were just on this feminine thread, shifting a little bit more into your feminine. I started it as just this passion project. Talk about intuitively led decision making when you follow something that's purely a desire. That is so feminine to just be like, I don't know, I just want to do this thing. It's I don't know, it's kind borne by my need for community. I don't know, we're just going to do this thing. And then you're talking about pollinate, and you're like, it's so fun.

Ashley (49:37)

Mm-hmm.

that

Yeah.

Julie Granger (50:01)

I'm like,

something that's joyful and it's just kind of fun and just following the passion. Like, that's so feminine. And yet you're also owning that you're like a little bit more of the strategy and ops side with a beautiful feminine air to it. And Chaunci is a little bit more of the feminine side with enough, you know, masculine to balance it out. yes.

oh, I just sit and watch and I'm like, this is so exciting to see. Because I think that for women, similarly, I love when you just step into those little nudges and yeah, it's just a side passion project. I'm always like, uh-huh. I kind of sit back with popcorn and I'm like, we'll see. We'll see how long that stays a passion project, you know? So beautiful.

Ashley (50:26)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

Chaunci was a big driver and you know, she would hear me talk about it. And, Hive was the first thing that I didn't just like project manage and spreadsheet the shit out of, you know what I mean? That is kind of my MO

Julie Granger (50:57)

Hahaha!

Ashley (51:00)

I'm very, I'm pretty organized. And so it's like, you can see my Kanban board in the back, like with my sticky notes, that is my, my language. I like it. I like taking a big messy project and organizing it into a project plan. Like I just, I love that stuff. And I was one of the things that I didn't do that with. And it was really from a lot of Chaunci's nudges because she, she was like, why don't you just kind of let it evolve?

Julie Granger (51:05)

Love

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (51:23)

Right? Like, Hive is not anything like what it was when I first was starting this. Nothing. It's so, I mean, the same thread of community is there, of course, but the way that we went about it is different. And I even like through the whole process, there were things that I launched at the beginning of Hive that I had to let go of that weren't working.

Julie Granger (51:28)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, of course.

Ashley (51:46)

And that was hard too, because I'm like,

okay, but that was the thing that, you know, this should be working. And Chaunci was always kind of like, yeah, but like, just, it's okay, just like, maybe it's not and let it go. And, and she pushed me a lot in that, through that process to really embrace the feminine. And through that, that's why I've become passionate about it being such a integral part of pollinate and Hive.

Julie Granger (52:03)

Yeah.

Ashley (52:11)

long term is because I am a product of when you pause all of your doing and you listen to your inner kind of that nudge or the pull, like things happen that you could have never put in that spreadsheet. know, like things happen that you could have never planned and it's really incredible.

Julie Granger (52:31)

That's right.

Wow, beautiful. When you finally sink in, you swim. I'm gonna be really extra about that. I love how you're also like, I'm really extra about all my branding and like the bee stuff. And I'm like, keep being extra about it. Like really own that because you can't say it enough. can't like, I think you can't be on brand and be on theme enough.

Ashley (52:40)

Yes. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Julie Granger (52:57)

because it's just, I don't know, it's one of those things where I love how you said it's like my business is my business. It's like sort of like these are the lessons for me, they're the lessons for my people. And the only way to really rewire your own conditioning and your own lessons is to like be like, and sink and swim, and sink and swim. It's like, I'm doing it for myself. It's like, and we're now on this pathway and this is the neural pathway we're going down and this is the soul pathway we're telling, this is the story we're telling now.

Ashley (53:02)

Mm-hmm.

Totally.

Yeah, it's that full embrace. Yeah.

Julie Granger (53:23)

Oh, uncertainty, man. I also loved the coaching you have received from what a beautiful friend and partner and Chaunci who we're definitely going to have to have on the podcast. And also, I just love this person already so much. I've met her one time. And also, you guys are now ripple affecting that to your own participants, to your own people of like,

Ashley (53:31)

Hmm.

Julie Granger (53:47)

You don't need to know what's on the other side. Like just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Ashley (53:51)

That's right. It's just the next step.

Julie Granger (53:53)

Yeah, just take the next step.

Isn't that a lesson we all could use? It's a hard one.

Ashley (53:56)

And it's a hard one. It's a really

hard one. But I think it's one of the most important lessons anybody can learn, whether you're in business or not. It's just about the next step.

Julie Granger (54:07)

You

can't always spreadsheet your way into the next step. As much as we might want to.

Ashley (54:09)

No, no. I have a sticky note.

I have a sticky note that stays on my computer right in front of me that says be where your feet are because I so I have a hard time jumping ahead and wanting to know what's on the other side. What do we you know, and it's like just be where you are and trust that the next step is the next step. You don't need to know what's over over the hill or whatever. Just be where your feet are.

Julie Granger (54:17)

Hmm.

Hmm.

Ashley (54:34)

And when

it's time for your feet to move, move. But just be. But it's so much easier said than done.

Julie Granger (54:40)

Well, there's such a one thing I love to help people with is holding yourself in that liminal space, the tension. Can you hold yourself in the tension without having to jump to the end of the book? Can you actually read a book that's building suspense and it's got the ups and downs? How are you holding yourself and all your parts and all your narratives without needing to hurry up and tie it up and put a bow on it?

Ashley (54:45)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Julie Granger (55:04)

why I do what I... It's why I'm here. It's why there are people like Chaunci. There's so many people out there that help with that. The writing of the narrative and the uncovering of the narrative without needing to jump to the end of the book. Amazing. You're going first. You're modeling it for everybody else. Come hell or high water. Yeah. Well, it's so humbling too. I think that we can...

Ashley (55:15)

Mm-hmm. Yep. So good, yeah.

My mistakes are in all of it, right? All of it.

Julie Granger (55:29)

I know you totally get this. It's like as a mentor to others, as a leader, it's very tempting to believe because we're taught this too and also as women that you need to show up polished, look perfect, have it all together, have it figured out, have it spread sheeted, whatever your design is and only share the parts.

the triumphs, only share the swimming, only talk about when I'm swimming. Because that's a role model and that's inspirational and people want to hear that. And they want to like have that thing they can look up to. And I think that it's not looking down when we're in our depths, when we're in those deep dark sinking places, it's also modeling and being something people can look up to. Yeah.

Ashley (56:16)

Absolutely can relate to yeah, it's so

and there's authenticity, you know, I mean, like I really struggled with actually owning my leadership position in Hive I hid behind my branding for a long time. And again, Chaunci to the rescue Chaunci was like, you kind of like, you have to step into your role here. People are

Julie Granger (56:26)

Hmm.

Yeah.

Ashley (56:38)

people yes are joining Hive for community, but there also there's something about you, right? There's something about you that is bringing in, it's kind of attracting something. Like there's a movement happening that you're a part of and like you have to kind of own your role in that. And it was really hard for a long time to step into that leadership position. But again, that's another thing where it was like, I've talked to many members about that. Like I was really uncomfortable with the fact of like,

Julie Granger (56:57)

Yeah. Yeah.

Ashley (57:06)

telling my story and my journey because again, I would bump up against those parts that was like, who are you? Right? Like, who do you think you are? You're so like, well, you're like an influencer, you know, like all conversations in my head. And it was hard to get through that. But again, I think by being real of like, this was not something that came easy to me to just

Julie Granger (57:13)

Right.

Nobody wants to hear that, right?

Ashley (57:29)

show up and give advice and talk about my journey and my story. Again, I think that was authentic to exactly what I was going through. And I think that's exactly what people found attractive. As it's like, this is hard for her. It's not coming from a condescending place. It's not coming from a better than now. It's actually she's actually really struggling with bringing those stories to the community. But she's pushing through it, right? Because she understands that.

in order for her to kind of step into her full alignment. This is part of her journey. And I believe that that is that I had to get comfortable with acknowledging those parts and saying, you know what, I hear you. And that makes sense why you might feel that way. But I, I am worthy of telling my story. And I, yeah, I do have a lot to bring.

Julie Granger (57:57)

you

Ashley (58:16)

And I do have things I can teach. those, it's like, again, the business is the business. Like it was my own rewiring. I needed to go through that experience to reclaim a little bit more of back of my self-worth. I'm not just worthy because I'm doing. I'm worthy because I am me. And by bringing my whole self to my community and showing up in this way,

Julie Granger (58:29)

Mmm.

Ashley (58:40)

I am reclaiming a little bit of that self-worth that got confused with the my self-worth is achievement, right?

Julie Granger (58:45)

your roles and your titles

and your achievements. Well, I saw that transformation as the person who was internet stalking. I did. I can sniff out like, I'm not going to say you were being inauthentic because that just feels like an insult, but I can sniff it out like a bloodhound because that's the work I do. And I think that part of my, not hesitation, but part of it was like, I don't really know who this person is. And when you started showing who you were, was like, ooh.

I think she's my people. And I think that as a leader, that's so important in any business, in any community. And it's so hard, like you said, it's so hard. Because yes, there is absolutely the part that is like, are you an influencer now? Like blah, blah, blah. And I think that the very, very first interview I did in this podcast is with my great friend and mentor, Parmees who basically teaches messaging and branding, but much more like personal branding and the energy behind it.

Ashley (59:27)

Thank

Julie Granger (59:38)

than much more than just the words that you say. And we were talking about authenticity as like a personal brand and sort of owning your genius, so to speak, and how there's like putting up, like showing up in your genius through a filter of this is how I should look and you know, I think a lot of influencers,

as we might call them in the world. There are a lot of good ones who are very authentic, obviously. But you know when someone's kind of posturing and trying to look a certain way because there's some narrative they're trying to fit, which is not their narrative. And then you can tell, well, you can also tell when someone's airing their dirty laundry, as Brene Brown would say, using vulnerability as a hot wire for connection.

Ashley (1:00:08)

Yeah.

Julie Granger (1:00:24)

We can sniff that out. And then there's that juicy middle zone, which is this is just me. But because I think of those two extreme sides of it, of like what appears to be authentic but isn't, we develop these parts, these protective parts that are like, whoa, whoa, hold on. Nobody wants to hear about how depressed you are when there's wildfires down the street and you have to evacuate, which you chose to do.

Ashley (1:00:43)

Right.

Right, yeah.

Julie Granger (1:00:49)

Like nobody wants to hear about how stressed you are. That's your dirty laundry. No one wants to hear it. No, you shared about that. Like I didn't feel like I was like, God, I feel so bad for her and I need to go rescue and protect her. I was like, yeah, I feel that way too. And then there's also the part that's like, well, be careful. Like don't show too much vulnerability because one, dirty laundry and two, like that's not what a leader does. That's not what strength is.

Ashley (1:01:00)

Yeah, right.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Julie Granger (1:01:13)

And

I love how you're really stepping into actually that soft, vulnerable side is exactly what strength is.

Ashley (1:01:20)

And it's really challenged my perfectionism showing up showing up because it's like the it is mind blowing how much progress I have made in that you know, I do a lot for those listening I do a lot of my marketing on Instagram. So I'll do reels or I'll do something I'm talking or whatever and like at the beginning. my gosh for me to get a reel out or a video or something would take hours because I'm like

Julie Granger (1:01:22)

So challenging. Yeah.

Yeah.

Ashley (1:01:45)

I didn't like the way I said that or like I messed up or blah and now it's like you know what I I have I have so many times posted a video with multiple mistakes and I'm just like there bear with me you know like I or I'll just own it like in the moment filming it like that's not what I meant to say right like just moving on it's like I think I come I have a deep big old

Julie Granger (1:01:48)

Yeah. Amen.

Yeah.

Ashley (1:02:09)

archaic perfectionist part living in me that is like rooted, you know what I mean? It's been there a long time and that one has been hard, harder for me to soften that part. But so much of the work with Hive is like, it's forcing me to, it's like, You can't show up perfectly all the time and the wild thing about it is that's why people are attracted to it.

Julie Granger (1:02:20)

Yeah, for sure.

Amen.

Ashley (1:02:33)

That's exactly why. It's like Nobody really wants to be fed perfection anymore because perfection isn't real and people are craving real. And so it's really forced me to like kind of, know, revisit my relationship with perfectionism.

Julie Granger (1:02:48)

You have created your own therapy.

Ashley (1:02:51)

Yeah, yeah in a lot of ways

I mean it's forcing me to grow in so many ways

Julie Granger (1:02:56)

The own vehicle there. That's what I've moved out of really specific business and marketing consulting, although I still do quite a bit of it. But I'm always like, I was just talking with a client, an old client, and we were talking about how my, when she first signed on with me several years ago, what I said to her was, is going to be a spiritual journey for you. And I think that one, you've created a pollinate and that's

That is exactly like what it is. This is a spiritual journey as you're also building this business with the strategy and all those things. And I think that like, it's a spiritual journey if you truly embrace.

the soft side of it. There are plenty of businesses that are built full ops, full strategy. They are spread sheeted the shit out of themselves and built and they succeed. Yeah.

Ashley (1:03:36)

Absolutely. Yeah, and they can be successful. Yeah, and they reach

the millions and all of that stuff, but it's like...

I think when you look at the people, right, who are leading that company, who are in that company, do they feel and you know, it's not to place judgment, there are people who I think may feel aligned in what they're doing. But I think that that's the biggest thing, right, you can build the company, you can you can achieve all of the success. But if you yourself

or not in personal alignment, something will always feel off. And that's exactly how I felt, you know, and there's guilt with feeling that too. I experienced it at least like, I had a beautiful family at home. I had the money, I had a big paycheck, I had the title, had all the things that's supposed to make you really happy. And it's like, there was still something that and it's like, why can't you just be happy? Right? There's the part that comes in. It's like, why are you so

Julie Granger (1:04:32)

Yep.

Ashley (1:04:33)

me,

why can't you just be happy? And I think that that part can can be the reason we shove things down so much because it's like, I should be happy, I should be happy. And then your body gets louder and screams at you. And finally, you have to say, I don't really know why I'm not happy. I don't know. But I'm not. Right. And then that's like, the beginning of the journey. It's the beginning of the like, the sink.

Julie Granger (1:04:41)

Absolutely.

Ashley (1:04:57)

It's the beginning of the sink. Yeah.

Julie Granger (1:04:58)

beginning of the sink? Well, it's like you're

standing at the top of the slippery slope and resisting it, resisting it, resisting it and digging in your heels. And the part of you that's saying, why can't you just be happy? It's a legitimate question because that part was conditioned to believe happiness is found in a good paycheck. These are the things that define happiness. And you can get pushed down the hill.

Ashley (1:05:12)

it.

are these things.

Julie Granger (1:05:21)

by illness or struggle or whatever. Or you can actually say, I don't know why I need to slide down this hill, but I'm just gonna. And I don't know what's on the other side and I'm willing to take the risk anyway. I experienced that. I built my business up to a million dollar business and growing, like trying to going towards the, how many figures is that at that point? Seven? No, eight, eight figures. So like 10, 20 million and.

Ashley (1:05:30)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Granger (1:05:48)

I got there and I was like, and it, there was so much passion and joy in it for me. But I, something I was like, no, something's still missing. Something is still not right. Or, and, or I would say, and it felt complete. Like there was a completeness there. And I struggled with that voice too of, can't you just, this is working. It's a good thing. Like,

Ashley (1:05:53)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah,

that would be hard.

Julie Granger (1:06:13)

just

be happy. And I just burned it down. And it was like, shit, I don't know what I'm doing. And I just remember like, family members were like, are you, is your mental health okay? Like what? And I was like, yeah, I'm good. I mean, I'm making this from a very intuitive place. I trust myself. I have no idea where I'm going. It's terrifying, but.

Ashley (1:06:33)

Yeah.

Julie Granger (1:06:34)

I think that when it's just another great example of you've done it and I've done it and it's like, I'm listening to the nudge before it's a fire, you know, and.

Ashley (1:06:43)

Yes. And that's the

that's the proof that you get your healing. It's huge to listen to it before it gets to that point.

Julie Granger (1:06:52)

I love that you've had the experience with Internal Family Systems I love it too. It's why I love, I think there's such a beautiful part of each, each part inside of us tells a story, has a story to tell. And I love that it's now just part of your language. You're like, there's a part of me that does this and there's a part of me that says this and there's this really strong perfectionist part that's really rooted. And it's also, I mean, the guy who started it, Richard Schwartz is not a woman.

Ashley (1:07:03)

Totally.

Julie Granger (1:07:19)

But it's a very feminine

Ashley (1:07:19)

Right.

Julie Granger (1:07:20)

approach to, it's like parenting. it's like this very accepting, loving, doting, parenting model. And there's also this masculine piece of sometimes you just have to tell the part to be quiet and like move back and be like, you know what, I hear you and you're not driving today.

Ashley (1:07:27)

Nurturing. Yeah.

Julie Granger (1:07:37)

And I've got this and I'm driving the car. And it brings in that whole dynamic. It's like running a freaking organization in your own psyche and soul and spirit. And what I love about it at its root is the version of you that leads all of it is your soul. And they call it Self but it's soul. And it's just such a beautiful thing. And I think your experience.

Ashley (1:07:40)

Yeah.

Yeah, kind of. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes.

Julie Granger (1:08:03)

having gone through that, through your own personal postpartum illness, all the things like, and really taking that brave leap is one other thing that's really giving you the fuel to be who you are now and establish the presence and brand and all the things that you have now, which is so cool. So cool. Well, we could talk about this one for, I don't know, a couple more days, weeks, probably will.

Ashley (1:08:20)

Absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah.

Julie Granger (1:08:27)

offline, we have some very fun lightning round questions to pivot into. They're a surprise. So let's do number one. Ready? I actually don't have them written down in front of me, so I'm going to wing it. I might miss one. well, it's fine. If you could be any animal other than a human, what would it be and why?

Ashley (1:08:31)

Okay, great. I'm excited.

Okay, yes.

think that I would, I feel like this is cliche, but I think that I would be a bird because I feel like there is a lot of freedom in being able to kind of feel that, be that weightless and kind of go wherever you want to go, whenever you want to go. You know I mean? Like I think there's just to be that weightless and

Julie Granger (1:08:59)

you

Yes.

Ashley (1:09:08)

Yeah, I think it has a lot to do with the waitlist. Sure, the flying would be cool, but I think to be that that light.

Julie Granger (1:09:12)

Hahaha.

What a beautiful metaphor. I was just watching a bird the other day. I mean, I watch them all the time. But I feel like I've reached the age where I start to notice birds. And I'm like, interesting. But that's exactly what I noticed was the weightlessness. Not so much the flying, but I could feel it in my own body as I was watching it. It's really interesting. All right. Beautiful. So Ashley's going to be a bird. Next. If you could.

Ashley (1:09:24)

yeah, me and my husband too.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Julie Granger (1:09:41)

meet up with and have a drink with two people dead or alive, who would they be? What would you ask them or tell them and why?

Ashley (1:09:47)

Okay, so the first another first one without even skipping a beat and it would be Brene Brown. She started me she really truly her book, The Gift of Imperfection was my gateway. My gateway to starting my personal journey.

Julie Granger (1:09:59)

like right there on my shelf. Same.

Ashley (1:10:05)

And I felt so seen by her and there as I used to listen to her podcast religiously unlocking us. And there was one episode that I remember sitting in the Walgreens parking lot crying because she was talking about over functioners and under functioners and what it looks like and what it feels like in your body and all of this. And that was like in the moment that I was like, Whoa, I'm a really big over functioner.

Julie Granger (1:10:09)

Yeah.

Ashley (1:10:28)

I am this is not how I I don't want to live in this anymore and I just I've always really identified with like her story and I think to ask her You know, I think I would want to ask her like where did her courage come from like where what was the turning point for her where it was like

she had done this research for so much of her career. And what was the turning point where it's like, I'm going to share, I'm getting vulnerable. That's such a big piece. That's such a big thing of her brand, but it's like what, I would be really curious of like, what made her do that? What was the turning point in her life where she was like, I'm sharing my story now. Cause it is a, it's a, it's a big decision. And typically that decision comes from

Julie Granger (1:10:57)

Yeah.

Ashley (1:11:15)

a lot of times, some type of experience. And so I think I would want to ask her what made her want to share with the world, her story. What was the sinking moment? That's exactly right. Yeah.

Julie Granger (1:11:21)

Yeah, what was the sinking moment?

Yeah, me too.

I want to know too. So let's find her. Hey, Brene, your team, if you're listening, you're invited to this podcast because I feel like you really belong here. Free membership to Hive as well. We got you. We got you.

Ashley (1:11:28)

Yeah, if you're listening.

Yeah, and a free membership to Hive if you're listening.

The other person I think would be my grandfather. So he passed during COVID. And I was in a really, I had a newborn. My daughter was in Vick you for quite some time with respiratory stuff and I was very nervous about it.

exposing her to anything. And, you know, he asked many times to come here, he wanted to meet her. And he wanted to see me and I was always very close to him. I was his first granddaughter and we were always really close. And I said no. And I think I will always have a part that is sad that I didn't get and I actually made it home for the funeral and we were supposed I took ron. My daughter's name is ron took her home.

Julie Granger (1:12:19)

Yeah.

Ashley (1:12:25)

We drove because I was too nervous to get on a plane. It's like in the thick of COVID, like the beginning. And we drove and I was going to take her to meet him. was on hospice. We were in Houston. We had gotten in the night before. We had driven a full 24 hours and I was like...

Julie Granger (1:12:28)

Yeah, right.

Ashley (1:12:41)

You know, my husband was like, should we just go straight there? And I was like, no, just, Rona is so exhausted. Like we need to go home. He passed. We were going the next morning. He passed that night. And I think that that was just, it was just a, I wish I could sit and have a cup of coffee with him again, one more time. Um, and not necessarily, I mean, a little bit for my own selfishness closure, but also I just, just for his too.

Julie Granger (1:13:08)

Yes.

Ashley (1:13:09)

you know, I don't,

I don't even know what I would ask him. It would probably turn into some conversation about memories when we, when I was young and, and, you know, all of that. But, but that is definitely someone who, and I so many people have stories like that during COVID, weren't able to, to be with the ones they loved. I know I'm, I am like holding it, but he would.

Julie Granger (1:13:16)

Yeah.

Oof!

you can let it out. It's fine.

It's welcome here. if you're only listening and not watching, there are tears in my eyes at the moment. thank you for sharing that story. That's a beautiful one. I would love to be a fly on the wall in that beautiful meeting too. Or not, and let it be your own intimate meeting. All right, well, pivoting from that, very different question.

Ashley (1:13:30)

Night, Papa.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

you

Julie Granger (1:13:53)

Does pineapple belong on pizza? I had it on pizza the other night. ooh.

Ashley (1:13:56)

Yeah. Yeah. I love pineapple on pizza with jalapenos too. I'm a big

spicy sweet person. So that's like my, that is my slice is jalapeno, pineapple and pepperoni. That's my favorite.

Julie Granger (1:14:07)

Mm-hmm.

Have you had the pizza

from Brevard Pizza Works that's like, yeah, okay. I'm like, doesn't that exist? Mm-hmm, so good. All right, I'm a fly on the wall, speaking of being a fly on the wall, on an average Friday night for you. What do I see you doing?

Ashley (1:14:14)

Yes, so delicious. That sourdough crust, so good.

Okay, well, not much. I have a five year old. So we are home a lot. But sometimes my husband and I like to play games. So a lot of times we'll bust out. We're always on the lookout for like good two player games. We love a good strategy game, but we also just like fun game. And so a lot of times we'll play games. But before that, every Friday night in the Sterken household is movie night. And so we do a movie.

Julie Granger (1:14:29)

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Ashley (1:14:51)

of rones choice for the most part he wants to watch sleeping beauty for like the 20 millionth time and we have to be like listen we're we're we're gonna watch something else because we're gonna go crazy if we watch that movie again but every friday night she knows it's friday we pick her up from daycare and she's like it's movie night so we always always have movie night and then usually my husband i am an early

Julie Granger (1:14:58)

She's asleep. Yes.

Whee!

Ashley (1:15:14)

to bed person, I'm an early riser, so I'm still in bed by like 9.30, 10 if it's crazy on a Friday night. So that's really, that's it. We don't really do much on Friday nights. It's for relaxation around here.

Julie Granger (1:15:14)

Yeah.

Amazing.

I

agree. I like Friday is the real wind down night. What's a good game? Give us the tea.

Ashley (1:15:30)

Mm-hmm.

So, Hues and Clues is fun. That's one where you kind of try to guess a color. There's like a big color palette and you draw a card, you get a color and you have to describe. Other person has to pick the color, but you can't say the color, of course. You have to pick something like grapefruit or something that looks like that color and they have to get it. And it's like, I mean, it's like, it's like multiple shades of the same color. It's pretty like...

Julie Granger (1:15:35)

Hmm.

wow.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Ashley (1:15:58)

There's a lot of room for error, but it's really fun. And then what's the other one that I love? I think it's called, I think it's called brainwave. I can't remember. I love that one though, because it's all about basically being on the same like wavelength as your partner. and so I love, what is it called? Or is it called wavelengths? I wish I remembered, but it's really fun.

Julie Granger (1:16:06)

Mm-hmm.

We're going to look this up and find out.

Ashley (1:16:21)

because you kind of have to like, you're trying to like get in their head and think what they're thinking. And there's another game that I like that's a similar thing called the mind game. That one's out of Germany and it's a card game. So we take it with us a lot. That one is really fun. Also a game of like trying to read someone's body language, facial expression to kind of know what their move is. And so I guess I'm just drawn to these games where you're trying to lock in with the other person. It seems that's a theme for me.

Julie Granger (1:16:30)

huh.

you

Amazing.

Ashley (1:16:50)

But yeah,

I love, those are three of my favorites.

Julie Granger (1:16:53)

I just looked it up, Wavelength is a telepathic party game where two teams compete to read each other's minds by guessing the location of a hidden target. Is that it?

Ashley (1:17:00)

That's it. That's it. Wavelength. Yes, that's the one.

Julie Granger (1:17:01)

Wavelength, guys. Final answer.

that sounds fun. Okay. Well, we're all going to go play games on Friday night. Last question. What's a hidden pleasure or obsession of yours that people may find surprising, weird, quirky, or questionable?

Ashley (1:17:10)

Yeah.

Let me think... I...

I mean, I think I two answers. So one of one is, I don't think this is so crazy. But I absolutely love having what I call another I've heard other people call it to a rat day where it's like, I don't get out of my pajamas. I'm possibly not brushing my teeth. I'm not doing anything. And I like one of my favorite things to do is have that.

Julie Granger (1:17:33)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (1:17:44)

and read an entire book cover to cover on one day. So I like don't move from the couch, you know, I just gradually slide down it as the hours go by, like there's much movement as there is in the day. But I love a good rot day.

Julie Granger (1:17:46)

100%.

I hereby request

Rot Day as a Hive event. mean, yeah. But like everyone meets in their pajamas. I mean, there is a little bit of effort that has to be put in there. I just actually heard about, I was listening to Amy Poehler's podcast, Good Hang, where she was interviewing Rashida Jones and Rashida Jones used to throw a birthday party every year.

Ashley (1:18:03)

Ooh, yeah, we should encourage rat days.

Have a right day.

Hmm?

Julie Granger (1:18:23)

where you were required to come in your pajamas and you weren't allowed to like put on makeup or try hard or anything like that. this is what I'm requesting. And we're gonna lay around and read a book and slide down the couch. And if you smell bad, then cool, you're welcome here.

Ashley (1:18:31)

Yeah. Yeah, I love it. And do nothing. Yeah.

Yeah, it's okay.

And then another I feel like quirky one that people probably don't know about me is I have a really strange love and obsession with corn, the food. So much so that like in college, and post college, but a lot I have so many corn trinkets around my house. Because people thought it was so strange how much I loved corn. They're like, it's, it's just

Julie Granger (1:18:53)

Mm-hmm.

Ashley (1:19:06)

like how can you love it that much? I really do. And I have all of these little corn like trinkets all over my house. Cause anytime someone would see something, they'd be like, my gosh, I have to do that for Ashley. And so it's now ended up that for the past, before I met my husband, he thought it was one of the weirder things about me, but I don't put a star on my tree. don't put an angel on my tree at Christmas time. I literally have an old vintage, it's plastic, but it was from a corn butter dish. like the thing was,

Julie Granger (1:19:09)

Mm-hmm.

I love this.

Ashley (1:19:33)

the little plate was like the green leaf and the thing that covered the butter was corn. So it's only three-sided. So one time, one Christmas, like years ago, probably 15 years ago, I was like, well, didn't have anything to put on the top of my Christmas tree. I wasn't in college actually, I was out of college, but I was single. And I was like, I wonder if I put tape, like on the other side of that corn thing, if I could like get it to stick on the top, you know, little branch of the tree.

Julie Granger (1:19:35)

Uh-huh.

on it.

Ashley (1:19:59)

And sure enough it did and it has stuck and now I have like a corn cob Christmas tree topper every year. It's one of my favorite things.

Julie Granger (1:20:08)

This is amazing. The corn farmers of the world. If you ever

need another passion project or side hustle, I feel like you could be their spokesperson.

Ashley (1:20:17)

Yeah, I

mean, I will take a corn sponsorship. I will. Yeah.

Julie Granger (1:20:19)

Ah, corn people, if you're listening, hit up Ashley with Hive Ambition and

Hive will become the place for all things Bumblebee and corn.

Ashley (1:20:30)

There's something about yellow. There's something I'm drawn to about yellow, clearly.

Julie Granger (1:20:32)

Yellow, yeah. I think that's really cool. You

know what? Be extra about it. Like I said, like go all in with your thing and let's do it. Corn, corn it is. Love it. Well, speaking of Hive and all the things, tell us how we can find you. What's the best way to connect? me all that.

Ashley (1:20:41)

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah,

so I'm very active on Instagram at Hive Ambition. I am trying to be more active on LinkedIn. So you can also connect with me there, which is just Ashley Sterken I'm doing my best to be a little bit more active there. But my primary mode of communication is on Instagram. Of course, the community where your first month is free.

Julie Granger (1:20:59)

Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

Nice.

Ashley (1:21:15)

and you can get plugged into the community there. And then also our website, which is going under a huge overhaul right now, but it is still live. It's just hiveambition.com.

Julie Granger (1:21:22)

Mm-hmm.

Nice, I love it. Okay, you know what I just realized? A beehive honeycomb kind of thing looks like corn.

Ashley (1:21:27)

What's up?

It kind of does. I've thought

about this too as I've put Canva graphics together. I'm like, that's a little bit too much like corn. Yeah.

Julie Granger (1:21:35)

Hahaha

Something

to like the geometric, like the hexagons interesting. I love this.

Ashley (1:21:45)

Mm-hmm. So who knows?

Maybe that was like my drawing toward the yellow and the hexagon repetitive shape long before I knew.

Julie Granger (1:21:56)

I

wonder if in your human design or your astrological chart, there's a hexagon. You know what I mean? I don't even know what the things are. I'm going to make it sound like I know what I'm talking about, like all your houses and centers. Maybe they're hexagon shaped or something.

Ashley (1:22:01)

I don't know. Right, yeah. I'd be

very curious. I'd be very curious.

Julie Granger (1:22:10)

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Cool. Well, Ashley, thank you for being here. This has been such a joy to have you. feel like definitely I'm like, yeah, you're my people. just, here we are. We could go on and on. Everyone go make sure you follow Hive Ambition on Instagram, follow Ashley on LinkedIn, join Hive Ambition if you feel so inclined. It's a great group. If you're in Brevard, you definitely need to join.

Ashley (1:22:16)

Thank you so much.

Yeah, this was a new thing.

Julie Granger (1:22:36)

You need to come hang out with us at coffee dates. Asheville too. Yep. Love that. Because we are looking for friends and we're going to own that and be proud of it. All right. Well, thanks Ashley and good luck with everything.

Ashley (1:22:36)

Yeah. Yep. Absolutely. In Asheville, we do them in Asheville too. Yep. Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you, Julie.

Julie Granger (1:22:52)

Thanks for joining me on this episode of Sink and

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