Instant Experts Ep 27 - Trump Creates Most Jobs Ever After Boiling Statistician in Acid!

In this week’s tour of the world’s Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:

1. Trump sh*ts pants then sh**ts messenger after dud US Jobs Report - Even BJ Vance's b-jobs are going down!
2. Danish zoo shocks world by feeding pets to its carnivores - The Asiatic Lion loves eating dog, The European Lynx loves eating pussy!
3. Aussie state of Tasmania on a knife's edge after 12th election this week. Who will be Premier? Who'll win the meat tray? Will Harold be right for the Zumba Grand Final? Inner West Karen reports!
4. Plus, Ahmed Ouf reports ...Inner West Karen to Cumberland Council, Federal Police, NSW Mental Health Unit

And so much more of the week's madness:

• Highly qualified diplomatic genius Steve Witkoff - sells real estate, negotiates with Putin, touches toes all at the same time!
• Ghislaine Maxwell - plays prison golf with Trumpy and shoots 69!
• Also Ghislaine - buddies up to new jailmate Theranos fraud Elizabeth Holmes!
• Theranos fraud Elizabeth Holmes - suddenly bans own daughter from visiting!
• Henry Lee fave The Dreggs - touring Luther, Oklahoma; Turks and Caicos; and Sucre! (standby for Quito, Cape Town, Pretoria, Bloemfontein dates!) 
• Elon's Mum Maye Musk - can't believe she's lost her impala in the car park!
• Sydney Sweeney! - registers Republican, then for witness protection after Trump asks her out
• Australian Government to make all MPs fly short-haul domestic in economy! - as long as seat goes flat, plane goes via Heathrow
• Aussie Prime Minister Anthony Albanese - exhaustion concerns after 7 hour trip to New Zealand, two actual decisions, all in same three-year term!
• Japanese Kabuki band murders Oasis' Wonderwall - still sound better than Liam?

In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk* and Henry Lee^. Tassie Premier Jeremy Rockliff late cancel after shock leadership challenge by Sharon (avail Mon, Wed, Thurs mornings, Friday WFH so don't even)

Saying hi? Email: gday@instantexperts.com.au

Or Leave Us a Voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au 

All complaints to: anyoneseenmybeagle@aalborgzoo.dk 

Produced, mixed, compiled and edited by Junior

Additional editing by guy in charge of US prison transfers last week (all paperwork lost; also congrats on new mansion!) 

Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe

^Apologises worse than The Fonz

*Immortal after killing his doctor, unless found by a re-animated Rodgers & Hammerstein in which case dead meat. 

Dr Erika McEntarfer's tell-all memoir "My Name Isn't Funny You C*nts!!" out in time for Christmas!

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