Autumn And Aparigraha - The Yogic Practice Of Letting Go | Ep 28

Host Liz Albanis explores Aparigraha. The yogic practice of non-attachment from Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. How nature can show its importance. When nature lets go, it isn’t failing. It’s preparing, conserving energy, and making space for what comes next.  'Stuff' can quietly run your nervous system. There has been some evidence to show the linkage between clutter and mental health. Liz's experience of living with ADHD, the cycle of losing things, searching, and spiralling can be exhausting. Liz also shares how fear of burglary and a past experience can turn belongings into something you guard. Rather than something that supports you. Liz also reflects on what changed after the 2024 fire.  And the loss of irreplaceable items and how that kind of shock can put attachment into perspective without dismissing grief. 
Key Topics:

• Letting go of habits, thought patterns, and samskaras is often harder than donating a box of things. 
• How clutter and possessions can create suffering rather than joy
• Perspective shift that comes after a fire and unexpected loss 
• How a missing object can fuel resentment and rumination 
• Svadhyaya self-study as the starting point 
• Tips for letting go
• Powerful body-based metaphor for grasping and softening. 

Error: Please note:  the recording has not been edited to reflect this error, rather it is stated here.  Harris, G, (2019)  The Language of Yin - Luminary Press was incorrectly referenced as having the binding pose sequence. Gabrielle second book has this sequence! Harris, G, (2021)  The Inspired Yoga Teacher  - Luminary Press. More information: https://gabrielleharrisyoga.com/

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Transcript

When Possessions Start Owning You

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The more we own them, the more they end up owning us instead. So instead of causing us joy, they cause us suffering.

Autumn Leaves As A Lesson

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Hi, I'm Liz Albanis, and welcome to season two of Yoga for Trauma, the Inner Fire of Yoga, where we explore how yoga can help release trauma, calm the mind, and reconnect you with your body. It's autumn here in the southern hemisphere where I live. Fall they call it in some other parts of the world. Recently I looked on the driveway and I noticed the vast amount of leaves that had fallen off the humongous tree near our driveway. And it reminded me about how this time of the year is a great way that nature shows us about the importance of letting go of what no longer serves us anymore. The trees do this in autumn by shedding the leaves as they prepare for winter. They keep the branches mostly in their trunk, but they let go of these leaves that are no longer of value. And then in spring they grow new leaves, blossoms.

Aparigra And The Clutter Trap

SPEAKER_00 1:28

In yoga we call this a parigra. It's in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras as one of the yamas. Yamas could be considered foundation, a way of living, an ethical conduct. So a parigra translates to non-attachment, pretty much the opposite of grasping a hold of. And I talked a lot about this last year in an episode on clutter and mental health with Melinda Ferrier. How clutter affects us and how we a lot of us just have so much stuff. And often when we have so much stuff, it can cause us more suffering than joy. Because we lose it, especially for people like me with ADHD. We lose things, we can't find them, we get upset when we can't find them. And for me, before the fire, because of the crime being the way it was in Melbourne, our next door neighbors had had a terrible burglary done by professionals. I started to become really possessive and obsessed by guarding my belongings because I was terrified of a burglary. And I'd suffered a burglary as a child, and that had freaked my parents out. And I was like, oh, I've just gotten this new computer. What if it gets stolen? I've got this, I've got that. How will I live without these things? And that's an example of how some things the more we grasp hold of them, the more we possess them, the more they end up possessing us, the more we own them, the more they end up owning us instead. So instead of causing us joy, they cause us suffering.

Fire Loss And A Shift In Perspective

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And the fire showed me that I lost some things that I could never replace, like my wedding dress and a painting, 50-year-old painting, and I'm not here to complain about things I lost because I could have lost so much more. Worse, I could have lost a family member. But it just showed me how much I c I had clung on to things, even things like a Supreme Champion ribbon I'd won years ago at a horse show. And in the aftermath of the fire, I ended up throwing stuff out that I didn't think I could throw out because it put things into perspective more. And it was interesting because I had a relative who was holding a lot of resentment to someone who had died because they had thrown out an item of clothing that they could no longer find, and they assumed that person had thrown out this item of clothing, and they were really resentful of this now. Deceased person who can no longer stand up for themselves. I pretty much said, you know, I lost my wedding dress and this painting and this other stuff. Some people lose everything. I think you'll be okay. But this this item of clothing had really owned this person, and she wasn't happy until this item of clothing was found in the end, and she hadn't worn it in over ten years, but she just had such an attachment to it that it had caused her so many conversations, so much suffering finding it and being resentful of the person who she thought had thrown it out. But it's just so normal, it's what we do. But it's not just the physical

Letting Go Beyond Physical Items

SPEAKER_00 6:18

items. That's one thing. A paragraph is letting go of habits, ways of thinking, ways of behaving that no longer serve us. That is what I think is really the the hard thing to do. The ways of thinking, the habits, the things we do, the way we live, dropping them. And from my experience, dropping these ways of thinking, dropping these habits that we have, whether it's smoking or if it's not being positive or not dropping the fact that your world has changed suddenly, letting go of the fact that someone feels a certain way about you, dropping that. For us yoga teachers, dropping the expectation and just letting go of the fact that someone didn't like your class, or there are going to be people that don't like your class or don't agree with you on something, dropping that. Because the more we grasp onto it, the more we try to fight against it, the more it's going to fight back. And I think the first step with dropping these things is to become aware of it through the practice of Svadya Ya, self-study in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras. So that is my opinion of where it starts. Becoming aware of it, starting to just notice it, because if we're completely oblivious to it, well we can't. We're not gonna know what may not be serving us. But it and maybe if you're like me, as you collect the leaves, you might feel like as you empty them and put them in the bin, saying things you would like to let go of in your life each time you put it in, naming it, other people's expectations, my expectations, letting go of self-judgment, letting go of perfectionism. Letting go of trying to make people feel the same way you feel, the same passions as you do. Letting go of people pleasing, letting go of this resistance to change, of getting older, or of things being different.

Naming What You’re Ready To Drop

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If you'd like to take this into more of a a yogic bhavana meditation imagery, I invite you to imagine yourself as a tree. And this is not my idea. I actually went to a yoga class years ago where they did this. But to imagine yourself as a tree, your roots are where you came from, where were you born, your family, ancestry, and your trunk being your foundation, your beliefs, what you stand for, who you are, and those branches, in my opinion, are habits, ways of being that serve you, that are working for you at this moment. Positive things in your life, good habits, good samskaras that are working. And those leaves, well, they're they're the the samskaras we're trying to drop to prepare for the next phase of life. And so that in spring all these new things, new events, new possibilities have somewhere to live. There is space for them in our life. There is somewhere for them to attach themselves to on those branches. Otherwise there there won't be room for those new things, those new leaves, those blossoms to plant. If the old leaves are still there, there's no opportunity, there's no space. So perhaps if you're a journaler like me, as you notice something, a thought pattern or a habit that's not serving you, that you're a you're keen to drop, to let go. Maybe write it down. And maybe write down why. Why do you want to let it go? And what you wish to replace it with come spring, if you're in the southern hemisphere like me, what you wish for instead. Often these samskaras we're trying to repl trying to let go of or drop often do need to be replaced with something else

Replace Old Patterns With New

SPEAKER_00 12:55

instead. Like for me, quitting smoking, I replaced it the stress relief I felt I got from smoking with yoga. Looking at our problems or things that are going wrong, we we might replace with counting each night. What went well today? What was the highlight of my day? What three things went well today? Or what three things am I grateful for today? What went well that may not have gone so well might help turn it yourself more into the glass being half full rather than half empty. The other way I've seen it practiced is there's a really beautiful book that was published. I think it was when we were in lockdown here in Australia, called The Language of Yin by Gabrielle Harris, who's in New Zealand,

Yin Yoga Grips And Body Metaphors

SPEAKER_00 13:55

and she has this beautiful sequence that focuses on binding poses, poses where you grab hold of a body part, like in dances pose, you you take hold of your foot. In your yoga practice, you could grab hold of that foot and just grab it really hard. Think of something that you would like to drop, feel it in your body, feel the grasp you have when you're holding your foot, for instance. Maybe even grab it a bit harder than normal if you would like. I invite you to. And that's what she talks about with that sequence of a paragraph sequence, which is a really beautiful physical metaphor of feeling how we grasp things and how they can grasp us back. They own us more than we own them. And this is my experience that letting go of these thoughts, these ways of being, these habits can be so much harder than letting go of physical items. And I'm not saying that there aren't good attachments, there are definitely good attachments, but there are also a lot of unhealthy attachments that I think most of us have. If I'm not gonna say everyone, but most of us have, and I know I've got many. But it can be a nice time of year to learn from nature and reflect and visualize what you would let like to let go of. So I invite you to reflect on what you would like to let go of. I would like to let go of perfectionism, of feeling like I'm not getting enough done in the day and embrace more of a permission to do less when I need to. That's something that just comes to mind right now for me.

Final Reflections And Review Request

SPEAKER_00 16:51

And Gabrielle Harris has uh this beautiful poem in this book as well, by the way. Um I think uh she let go that's in this book, and I will reference that book in the show notes. It's a it's a really beautiful book. Thank you, Gabrielle, for writing it. She's also written two more books since then. And she has a real gift for writing, I believe. So I believe that with the practice of non-attachment, letting go of your negative thought patterns and ways of thinking, thinking of how things should be, is a lot harder to drop than attachments to physical items. That is my thoughts. Physical items is one thing, but dropping other mental patterns, these samskaras, these habits, that's the harder thing. And the more deeply they're ingrained, grooved into your psyche, the harder they are to change from what I've learnt. Thanks again for tuning in. If you loved the show, my guests and I would really appreciate a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time, never forget the power of yoga.