31: Sugar and Kids: How to Find The Right Balance

In this episode, Sarah delves into the complexities surrounding sugar consumption in children, particularly in light of the new dietary guidelines. She addresses the common stress parents feel regarding sugar intake and how to aim for "balance." While sugar is not inherently bad, it serves as a source of energy and can be included in a child's diet without creating an unhealthy obsession with it. Sarah also discusses the emotional weight of sugar-related conversations and encourages parents to adopt a neutral language when talking about food with their children, fostering a healthy relationship with food.

Episode 8: Division of Responsibility

Transcript

Sarah Schlichter (00:47)
Hello everyone, happy new year. Welcome to 2026. I did take a little hiatus in December and the beginning of January, just kind of doing the whole holiday thing and adjusting to the new year. And now I'm back. I got some great guests lined up. And today's topic I think is actually very timely, a great time to talk about sugar for kids. The new dietary guidelines have come out. They did.

talk a little bit about sugar recommendations, but I also feel like with the new year, many parents have goals for themselves, right? A lot of times it's something like start over with a new diet or try to manage sugar, try to manage.

getting more fiber in, try to work out more, etc. etc. So I think today's topic will be pertinent for everyone here and hopefully you can walk away with some actionable tips. So why is sugar so stressful for parents? Right? I mean I'm assuming it's stressful, maybe it's not stressful in your house, but when I am working with parents and clients it is something that people tend to stress about.

And sometimes there is a mismatch, right? Like people will say, I want to eat less sugar. And then we'll look at their diet. And there are a lot of sources of added sugars that we can first of all emphasize and try to replace. And we're going to talk about that, like some of the hidden sources of sugar. A lot of us know they're in the sweet things, right? The baked goods, the pastries, the flavored yogurt.

things like that, but we're not always cognizant that there might be in the pasta sauce, there's some in ketchup. And I'm not saying that to cause stress because those amounts and those products should not be a big deal in the scheme of things. But if we are using a lot of them throughout the day, it can add up. So that might be an area of opportunity. But sugar is an emotionally charged topic for families. I think we see the messages online, sugar is toxic, right?

⁓ Avoid sugar, no sugar, things like that. And then we also, I'm sure you're listening to this podcast, so you also have an interest in having your kids learn to eat intuitively and listen to their bodies. So how do we balance those two messages, right? So let's talk a little bit about that today. I do want to reassure you that you can care about nutrition and health and protect your child's relationship with food too.

It doesn't have to be one or the other. And as always, there's no perfection. This episode is just going to be talking about balance, unquote balance and not perfection. So the big picture that I want to get across is that sugar is not the villain. Right? Sugar is a carbohydrate. Carbohydrates give us energy. That is a very simplified version, but sometimes that's all people need to hear.

There are instances throughout the day where we might just need added sugar. We might need quick sugar. We might need energy. We might need it before a workout. We might need it after a workout. We might need a pick me up during the afternoon. and that's okay. Kids are biologically drawn to sweeter tastes, and that's not a flaw. It's kind of just the way it is. Many adults are too, right? sweet things taste good, and we enjoy that.

Whether we give ourselves permission to enjoy that or not is a whole different story.

But we do know, and we have a lot of research that shows that restriction can increase obsession. So that's why I'm here to talk about how we can include sugar in a balanced, moderate way in our child's diets without hyper focusing on it and creating that obsession, that hierarchical food, that sugar is so good, we have to earn it, right? We kind of want to stray away from that mentality.

And it matters how we talk about sugar. So in this episode, we're gonna learn to talk about sugar foods a little bit more neutrally because kids pick up on that. And the way we talk about it really plays a role in how our kids learn about it too. So we're gonna refer back to the division of responsibility, which I did a whole episode on that was episode eight, which we will link here in the show notes. But just a reminder that

really means that as the parent, you decide what is served, when it is served and where it is served. Your child decides if they eat it and how much. All that being said, you have a choice of when and if to offer sugar treats throughout the day. And you can do it at certain controlled environments. So for example, like I usually don't offer sugar treats to my kids.

first thing in the morning or right before bed. In my experience, that really gives them a little too much energy. And I would prefer to offer it with like a balanced afternoon snack alongside some protein. And I find that everyone feels better that way. But as a parent, you get to decide what works best in your house. So let's talk about some of those hidden sources of sugar. And that's what I was...

mentioning earlier that if you do want to reduce the amount of added sugars in your house, oftentimes there's an easier place to start rather than just clearing out all the cookies and the gummy bears, right? Like obviously that will work too. You can reduce added sugar that way, but if you want to be a little less extreme, sometimes it helps to start looking at the products where you might not realize there are added sugars and maybe finding a neutral or healthier swap for that.

So some savory foods without added sugar. So pasta sauce, it is totally doable to find pasta sauce without added sugar. You might just have to do a little bit more label reading, but they usually do add a little bit in there to balance out the acidity of the tomatoes and maybe some of the spices. You can also of course make your own pasta sauce. Ketchup is a big one. Ketchup is very popular in my house and I've always served it with kids snacks because dips.

can be a great way, a great utilization tool for parents to help improve palatability of foods, but it does have added sugars, course barbecue sauce, any sweet sauce really, honey mustard some salad dressings. I don't know how many kids are taking in salad dressings, but if you as an adult have a goal to reduce added sugars, that's another place you can look. I also think some of the health halo foods, so yogurt.

Yogurt is a great food and I talk about it in my response to the dietary guidelines. I love full fat yogurt for kids, even for some adults for satiety, but low fat can be great too. Just if you're able to and you want to reduce the sugar there, just buying plain yogurt is a great way to start. You can flavor it yourself and if you do want to add a little honey or maple syrup, that's totally fine. It's probably going to be less than what's already added to the pre-made mixture.

something to keep in mind. You can also add cinnamon. We add peanut powder a lot, which gives it a peanut butter flavor and a little extra protein. Granola, fruit. many other ways to flavor your yogurt without added sugars if you choose to do so. Granola and cereal bars. These are big. I know they're convenient and they're easy to offer kids.

And sometimes the added sugar is balanced out by something like fiber or some protein. And in those cases, I try to have parents worry less because the sugar is not going to go straight to their bloodstream. Instead, it's going to be balanced by the fiber and protein. However, if you are buying granola and cereal bars that do not have fiber or protein, but they just have a lot of sugar, that could be an opportunity to look for a replacement for that.

Cereals is a big one. We are a big cereal family and I will say with cereals, yes, a lot have added sugar. I try to buy some below eight grams per serving, but you have to think about with cereal, you're usually serving it with milk, right? Milk is giving us protein, calcium, vitamin D, potassium, riboflavin, lots of great micronutrients. And cereal itself is usually fortified with important nutrients too. So,

While cereal may have sugar, you also have to think about all of the other nutrients it's giving. And that's another thing I'm telling parents, you know, it's not just the sugar, what else is in the product? And sometimes it's worth having some extra added sugar in there in order to get the other nutrition aspects. And then smoothies and juices, you can buy a lot of these pre-made options and they can be convenient. If you are able to make them at home, you have more control over those added sugars.

Something else to keep in mind along the line of liquids, I'll also say sports drinks, flavored milks. I'm actually a big fan of like the chocolate milk, Horizon chocolate milk juice boxes. I think they're great, especially after kids sporting events, soccer, basketball, things like that. Yes, there's added sugar in there, but it's a trade off. mean, I'm getting again, protein, calcium, vitamin D. And in situations where kids need that extra sugar.

it's actually beneficial just to help their little muscles recover too. So again, that's why I'm telling parents it's not like we have to keep sugar out for good. there are some situations where it can be advantageous if blood sugar is really low, if kids need quick energy. So just something to keep in mind when you're thinking about this topic of sugar.

I also think having some reframes around sugar can be helpful for you as a parent to have that internal dialogue because remember kids pick up on what we're saying. So for instance, rather than saying added sugar is a bad food, maybe we're focusing on the benefits. In the chocolate milk example, chocolate milk is also giving protein, calcium, vitamin D and potassium. Right? To me, that's a true benefit and that's worth a little bit of added sugar.

That added sugar is probably gonna be used for energy anyway. So I love offering chocolate milk in and around my kids sporting events because it is a perfect recovery food.

Okay, so let's talk about how much sugar kids are eating, So the previous dietary guidelines, the 2020 to 2025, the goal was avoiding added sugars when possible to kids under two. So pretty much waiting until you have two year olds to offer added sugars. And I feel like that's pretty reasonable and doable. However,

And then the ages two to 18, was aimed for less than 25 grams of added sugar a day. However, the 2025 to 2030 dietary guidelines mention avoiding added sugars for kids under 10. I think that is a lot harder and a lot more extreme. And for all of the reasons that we've mentioned above, A lot of the products marketed towards kids do have some added sugars in there. That sweetness is...

Typically just kids like it more, right? It tastes better. So they're more likely to accept it. And I think we have to remind ourselves that that sweetness does come with other nutrients and micronutrients in there. So it is kind of a balance. But again, having that awareness of added sugar sources and maybe being able to pick options that have less added sugar can be helpful for you as the parent because back to the division of responsibility, you decide what is offered and when.

you pick out the snacks to offer your kids. It's their job to eat. So reading the labels, having a general idea of what your kids are eating in a day, and then having healthy replacements when possible can be a great way to just be a little bit more in the know of the added sugars that your kids are getting. So I went to have lunch with my daughter yesterday. And of course, as a dietician, I'm kind of looking around.

You know, some kids have the school lunch, some kids pack their lunch from home. And I want to say this first off, like I am never judgmental. I don't judge people's food choices ever. But my husband pointed it out to me too. You know, a girl at our table was unpacking her lunch and there was a flavored yogurt. There was the Welsh's fruit snacks. There was a bag of chips and one other thing.

And all of those products have added sugar. And I'm not saying that that's a bad thing. I'm just saying if parents want to reduce the amounts of added sugar, you can just start reading some labels and they do have like dried fruit or fruit snacks with no added sugars. So that could be an option there. Packing plain yogurt again with maybe some honey or jam or granola to add or sweeten it with. So there are always options available.

That being said, we don't know anything about this family and their situation. Like obviously a kid eating a lunch with added sugars is better than a kid not eating a lunch at all. So we have to, again, look at the bigger picture. We want to promote a healthy relationship with food. So we would never want to tell our child or any child that lunch has too much sugar, that food has too much sugar. Because again, it's the way we talk about food that really impacts their...

view and their interpretation of food. So rather than micromanaging, think just having a conversation neutrally about sugar in our bodies can be helpful. So what does that look like? Again, as parents, we want to talk about foods. And this is why I say it's really important to fix your relationship with food as a parent before you become a parent, I should say, because kids just pick up on things. So

We just want to avoid the extremes. We don't want to say that's junk. We don't want to say sugar is bad for you. We don't want to say there's no nutrition in that food. We don't want to say if you eat all of that food, you're going to get sick. There's other ways to get this idea across for kids not to internalize these bad food concepts. So trying just matter of fact language. And sometimes kids will meet boundaries. We'll go over that.

but really the language you use matters. So it might be something like, some foods help us grow quicker than others. Some foods taste really good because they have added sugars that give us energy.

You could tie that to something, you know, before your basketball game, you need a lot of energy, right? So it might be helpful to have one of those sweeter snacks before basketball. Different foods do different jobs in our bodies. Some foods help us feel fuller longer. Our bodies feel best eating a variety of foods with lots of different colors.

Sometimes the foods that taste really good may not feel as good in our body. So just check in with your belly after you eat a little bit. It's not healthy or unhealthy, it's just food. Another thing I really like is we eat different foods for different reasons, right? We eat birthday cake at a party because we're celebrating someone and it's fun to eat it together with people. We eat a family meal at dinner with protein and fiber because we want to feel full during the night and not wake up hungry.

So I like to talk about it that way. Kids are really smart and that's how they're gonna talk about it. sometimes just changing the language makes a big deal and you can have your boundary statements. Say kids are asking for that sugar snack. You can say, we had the birthday cake last night so we're not gonna have any tonight but let's plan to have some this weekend. Or that's not on the menu today but I'll make a note for later this week. I like to do that a lot. I say later this week.

or I'll make sure I add it to our list. And that way you're acknowledging your child's request. You don't want to ignore it. You're acknowledging their request for something sweet and saying, it's okay to want that. You're not criticizing them. You're not villainizing the food they're asking for, but you're also showing that as a parent, you are in control and it's not on the menu today. And that's okay. By doing that, you're showing them maybe it's not an everyday food, but it is something we can enjoy together at certain times.

if you have a kid who is eating, you know, just cookies or just something sweet and they do have that experience where my belly's hurting mom or, they say something like that, that can be a learning opportunity. And it's not, again, to point out how bad the cookies are. It's really, you know, we can eat all foods, buddy. Let's add some yogurt to your snack and see if that helps you, helps your belly feel a little bit better or

Maybe next time we have those cookies, we'll have some milk to help wash them down. So we can be matter of fact, and we can be very neutral around that. The neutral language is really important because we want to avoid the sneaking food, right? Kids sneaking food, if they feel like it's bad or off limits, of course they want your approval. So they know you won't approve if you've talked with the food like that. So that's where sneaking food can come in.

That's where binge eating can come in. That's where an obsession over sweets can come in. And we really want to steer away from that. Again, we want to promote a positive relationship with food. These kids know, certain instances they will have these foods that they like, but it's not something that they can just get access to themselves throughout the day. Again, that's why the division of responsibility is so important. Kids do need boundaries and they need to trust that you will give them those boundaries.

And a lot of times I'll sit down and have that sweet with my kids because I think it's important that they see me eating it. And I might say something like, that cookie was so good. I can't wait to have one another time. Or you know what, that cookie was really good, but I'm feeling pretty full so I'm going to save the rest for later.

Giving kids the confidence to make their own food choices, not hyper-focus, doesn't put sweets on this pedestal that they have to earn them. And I think that's really important.

So now let's talk about what else to offer. So sugar isn't the only option, right? And I'm always of the opinion, let's think addition, not subtraction. So let's think protein fiber, right? We wanna pair them, cookies and milk, fruit snacks and cheese, trail mix, nuts, seeds.

yogurt parfait with berries and maybe a little bit of cereal. A fun blueberry muffin with eggs or a cheese snack and I'm a huge fan of the snack plates where you can have some sweet fun options but you also have some fruits and veggies, some healthy fats, some protein foods. I think that's great too.

And if you're a parent who's just overwhelmed on where to start, I just want to remind you that this structure is a good thing. Structure helps. And by offering regular meals and snacks, that helps your child learn to trust you and know that food is available when they're hungry. It can also reduce sugar cravings throughout the day because kids are eating at regular intervals and they know their next meal or snack is coming, you know, soonish.

Predictability builds trust and we want to build trust among those little bodies. Kids don't want to feel out of control. That's scary for them. So as a parent, you providing the structure to when something is served and what is served is very important.

So if you are someone who prefers not to offer much added sugar to your kids at home, again, I think that's totally okay. I still think you wanna avoid the extreme language. You don't wanna feel like kids have to earn their sweets because what happens when your kids are at a friend's play date or they're at a birthday party and the cake is there and they really want some, but that's not something they're typically allowed to have. So.

thinking about these situations and of course, yes, it would be great for kids to eat their food before their cake, but that doesn't always happen. And thinking about how you're gonna talk to your kid about that can be really helpful because the short-term chaos that might happen after a kid eats a lot of cake and then the sugar rush happens and they're coming down from that, it can be hard as a parent, but it's better than the long-term harm.

that comes from the obsession around food and sugar. So we want kids to know that too much sugar doesn't feel great. It can be a learning experience, but how we talk about that matters. My personal opinion is let's let the sweets be part of the event, not the reward. So birthday cake is part of a birthday party. It's not the whole part. Like we're gonna go play and we're gonna talk to friends we haven't seen in a long time. And maybe there'll be a really good pizza other fun.

things that we can eat, but there'll be birthday cake too. And I can't wait to try it. You know I love chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and sprinkles. So I can't wait to have some with you, Right? Giving them that opportunity to feel heard and know that these foods don't have to be off limits.

I think some gentle reassurance is also helpful. Just remind yourself that one meal, one day of higher sugar in your kid's diet isn't gonna ruin their health, right? You can offer different foods the next day. And again, use that language that we talked about earlier. I know you want those fruit snacks, but remember we had two packs yesterday. So today we're gonna offer some apple slices with peanut butter for snack, okay?

Keep that structure, keep that variety to protect their nutrition. Don't offer sweets as a reward, but have it for enjoyment. And again, if you can enjoy it with your kids, that can be a helpful, positive relationship with food moment.

But I want to close out this episode how I started reminding you that you don't need to choose between nutrition or food freedom. It doesn't have to be one or the other. They can coexist. Children can learn to enjoy sweets, but also enjoy their structured meal time routines and snacks. And it's not black and white. There might be some seasons in family situations where more added sugars are present and that's just how it is. And

trying not to stress about that because kids sense stress, they'll sense your anxiety Instead, just try not to see it as a daily micro target. Look at what your kid's eating in a week. Sometimes just looking at it that way really makes a big difference because it's not as dire of a need. My kid ate so much sugar today. Yeah, but when I look at all the other meals this week, he actually did eat a lot of his fruits and veggies. He got protein every day, every meal.

Right? So think about that. It's always about overall patterns. It's never about one meal, one day of eating. Kids are going to go over some days and under some days, and that's normal. We want kids to trust their bodies and not obsess over food. So I'm just going to emphasize again that using that neutral language around food is important. Remember the goal is kids can trust their bodies around sugar, foods, and sweets, and learn to enjoy them without feeling guilty or obsessed.

because that's probably where many of us have come from. And maybe we've worked really hard to get to a place where we have that food freedom and that food neutrality. So we wanna make sure that we stand by those statements in our house. So I hope that episode was helpful. If you have more questions about Sugar for Kids, please reach out. Again, please leave a review. I love reviews and they really, really help the podcast grow. I read every single one.

And it really means a lot to me when I know that I am making a difference and putting out topics that I know you want to learn about. So hope this was helpful and we'll talk next time.