33: 8 Ways I've Changed Feeding My Kids Since Becoming a Mom

In this solo episode, Sarah discusses: 

• The benefits of early introduction via baby-led weaning
• Why smaller servings promote better eating habits
• Embracing family-style meals to build independence
• The importance of eating early and flexible bedtime snacks
• How to encourage try-new-food without pressure
• The division of responsibility in feeding
• Managing feeding challenges when kids are not eating
• Balancing treats and sweets with long-term health in mind

Past episodes referred to:

• Starting baby led weaning
• Baby led weaning recipes
• Episode 8: Division of Responsibility
• Episode 11: Tips on Picky Eating from a former picky eater
• Episode 19: Bedtime Snacks
• Episode 31: Sugar and Kids
• Bedtime snacks blog post

Transcript

Sarah Schlichter (00:02.37)
Hello, hello everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. Today we are going to talk about my journey to feeding kids and my evolution. So I've rounded up eight ways I've changed feeding my kids over the years. I hope this will be helpful for people. am going to refer to a lot of past episodes because I have talked about a lot of these concepts before. So if you're new here, please, please go back and listen to those past episodes. First of all, I'm so happy you're here.

Welcome to the podcast. Would love you to leave a rating. Please let me know which episodes you love most so I can keep producing that content. But today is sort of a sum or accumulation of some of those past tips. So I hope having it in one place will make it helpful for parents, especially if you're new to feeding kids or trying to take a different approach this year, maybe trying to be less strict or

you know, less dictated when trying to feed your kids and you want instead to preserve their relationship with food, you want to encourage it. That is what we're all about over here, encouraging those family meals, but also we want to foster a positive relationship with food for the kiddos. So we're going to be talking all about that today.

Sarah Schlichter (01:29.194)
Okay, so let's just jump into my first tip. My first tip is I've started early. So with each kid, I've had three. With each kid, I have sort of advanced my feeding techniques from an early age. I've done baby led weaning with all three children. I'm a huge proponent of it. If you go to my blog, you'll find several posts on baby led weaning, how to get started.

top foods to start with, veggies, benefits, baby-lead weaning versus purees, and tons of baby-lead weaning recipes. This is my favorite way to introduce solids. I have found all of my kids to be more receptive to trying different foods. I really do think these habits start young. So with starting solids, I don't feel the pressure to start early anymore. I think...

pediatricians can kind of put that thought in your ear, start at six months and it's exciting and you want to start early. But honestly, up through those first six months, there's really no need for solids. Breast milk or formula is providing all of what your baby needs. When they are ready and you do want to know and see those signs of readiness. And we've definitely talked about that in this podcast before. If you want to go back to the episode with Hilary

It is episode 10, starting solids with baby led weaning. We have Hilary McMahon come on and tell us so many great tips there. I would start with that about getting ready, knowing signs of readiness for starting solids. But once you're able to start solids, do it. Babies are so much more capable than we give them credit for credit. They are so much more capable than we give them credit for. They can handle.

different textures, they can handle flavors. I do herbs and spices like cinnamon or cumin, a little bit of paprika. You don't want to do too much salt, but flavor is good. We want to develop those adventurous palates and you don't have to stick to purees. You certainly can, of course. You can make your own, you can buy store-bought, you can obviously mix meat and iron-rich foods into purees, but you can also just...

Sarah Schlichter (03:46.998)
roast a carrot and give it to the baby or let them suck on a piece of steak to get those juices. We really just want them in the beginning. It's important that they're just getting experience, bringing their food to their mouth. So that's hand-eye coordination. There's a lot of great growing that happens just with that. And of course, over time, they will learn to eat more. But you also want to introduce allergens early. That's something that

I have just gotten so much more confident with over time with each of my kids. Fortunately, we haven't had any major allergic reactions, but the research is pretty clear, especially with peanuts. The earlier you introduce that and you want to do it early and consistent, the lower the risk of allergies later in life. My second tip and something that I've changed over the years is I now offer smaller serving sizes.

So kids can always ask for more, right? We want them to feel comfortable at the table. We want them to speak up. We want them to tune into their hunger and fullness. But what I have learned is that when I serve the same amount of food I'm eating on a plate for them, it's very overwhelming, right? Their stomachs are like very small compared to adult stomachs. And of course their eating habits are very varied, especially if they're eating snacks throughout the day.

So I honestly start with like a couple tablespoons of each food on a plate. Now my seven year old is an eater. She will eat multiple servings. So with her, I'll give her a little bit more, but with my three year old for sure, and even my five year old sometimes, I'll just start with small portion sizes and they can always ask for more. We serve meals family style. So the food is in front of them and it encourages them to take a

part in the meal. We want them to play a part and feel involved. So generally if they like something they're gonna ask for more, but what's more important here is if it's a new food or it's something that they don't feel safe or comfortable with, having a small serving size is much less intimidating than seeing a big amount of something you've never tried before. So part of this is just safety.

Sarah Schlichter (06:07.426)
helping them feel comfortable, but also it's just less intimidating to try a small amount of something. I think you'll be surprised at the differences something like this can make. It doesn't seem like a big deal, right? It's just different amounts of food on a plate, but for kids, it really does make a big difference. Third one, we eat early. So I've learned to just accept bedtime snacks. I mean, we eat dinner at like five, sometimes

Yeah, five is probably the earliest. you know, sometimes a couple hours after that, my kids might be hungry before bed. And in the beginning, I tried to be militant and say like, no, we already had dinner, the kitchen's closed. But honestly, I want a bedtime snack a lot of the time too. So we have just come to embrace bedtime snacks. And I have done an episode about that. It's actually episode 19, where I share some of my favorite bedtime snacks.

how to keep it nutritious and how to avoid it becoming a habit for kids. I truly offer it when I know they're still hungry and you know your kids best. Maybe they've had a busier day, maybe they ate less at dinner, but it's not a substitute for dinner and they do know that. So I would direct you to episode 19 to learn more about my suggestions for bedtime snacks. And I also have a blog post about it too if you're a reader or a visual person.

and you want to see some of those examples and I will make sure to link that blog post in the show notes.

Sarah Schlichter (07:45.718)
I think overall bedtime snacks can get a bad rep because parents think, I'm just giving them sugar before bed. Or if I just do bedtime snacks, they're never going to eat dinner. And that could be true. Your kid could come to expect a bedtime snack and maybe avoid dinner knowing they're getting one. So I think it comes in how you approach it. And of course, not making it overly fun or exciting for them. You know, we do want it to offer some extra nutrition.

if you had a kid have a kid who has a bigger appetite is growing needs more calories or is a picky eater throughout the day Those might be really important instances where a bedtime snack can and should offer extra nutrition So definitely listen to episode 19, but try to change the mindset about it from being something negative to maybe something that helps them maybe it can be a bridge between

having dinner earlier and sleeping well, sleeping through the night, just a conversation to have. And obviously the older kids get, the easier it can be to talk about things like, sometimes mommy wakes up hungry during the night and I realize if I eat something balanced, like some cheese and a little bit of fruit before bed, I feel better. How about you? How does that sound?

Okay, tip number four is eating family style. So I mentioned this earlier, but essentially family style just means you place the food on the table and people can essentially serve themselves. And I do this for several reasons. Okay, first of all, I want kids to be involved in the meal. So when I'm asking them to set the table, they're bringing the plates of food over so they can see what's for dinner. I think that anticipation helps them rather than them just sitting there

having a plate served with no idea what's gonna be on that plate. And maybe it's all new foods and it's very intimidating. So family style gives them more of a role, more agency in the meal. Also them serving themselves, giving them the option to do that. If you have a pasta or a casserole with a spoon, maybe they take that spoon and put a little bit on their plate.

Sarah Schlichter (10:00.278)
Or maybe you're sitting down and you're saying grace or whatever it is you do as a family and they see what's on the table and you can say, what would you like to try first? Or what can we put on your plate? You also, of course, can make the plate for them, especially if they're younger and still get benefits from doing meals family style because kids can see the food on the table. We also, along with this, we do real plates, real cups, real utensils, obviously.

If I have an infant or a baby who you you can't trust, we won't do that. We don't want them throwing porcelain plates on the floor. But for the most part, it's less of the kid stuff. Sometimes I do use stainless steel separated plates, especially for my three-year-old because they do like things not touching. But generally for my older girls, they're just using a small dinner plate. I'm treating them like a real member of the family. They're using glass cups. They're using real utensils.

and they're helping set the table and clear the table. And all of this to me is part of the division of responsibility, which I covered in episode eight, essentially. It is sort of a lifelong method for feeding kids and helping them grow up fostering a good relationship with food.

Sarah Schlichter (11:22.06)
The next tip, and this one, I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm still working on it. I think for parents, it's hard to watch your child sit at a table and not eat anything, right? You know they're hungry, if they would only try it. But I stopped commenting on what or how much they ate. It just became a depressing talk to say, you didn't eat anything again. Aren't you hungry? And there's really not a positive.

way to have that conversation. So I stopped commenting on what or how much they ate and instead I tried to incorporate neutral comments like, you think you'll be hungry before bed?

Sarah Schlichter (12:08.812)
Yeah, it's out there. I'm recording a podcast.

Sarah Schlichter (12:41.678)
Is this going to freeze in the garage? yes.

you

Sarah Schlichter (12:56.846)
So just sticking with more neutral comments, do you think you'll be hungry for bed? We can try again then, or maybe we ate too big of a snack, maybe we should wait for a little bit until we're hungry again. I might even say like, would you like to try this another night? We could save it for you. And rather than if you don't eat this, you get no snack, or again, trying to eliminate the consequence or the pressure around feeding, I might just say,

This is what's available tonight. I hear you that you would really like that pasta that we made earlier this week or last week, and I will put that on our menu later this week or next week. We want to acknowledge them and include them, of course, in the meal planning if you can, but you also have to keep your ground. You don't want to be overly permissive. So it is important to have those boundaries, and they talk about that in the Division of Responsibility as well.

Again, it doesn't have to be you have to eat this now or you get nothing, but you do want to say, well, this is what's available tonight. Unfortunately, we don't have that pasta right now.

And honestly, this part is hard, but the more you do it, I promise the easier it gets. Like if kids do realize this is their dinner tonight, they will learn to eat if they're hungry. And of course, always having that safe food on the table, whether it's a fruit, you know, they'll eat, whether it's bread with butter. Sometimes honestly, we do like an oatmeal bite. It's like an oatmeal, peanut butter, chia seed type thing.

It's a little sweeter, but it is very nutrient dense. And at least I know they're getting that for nutrition if they're not eating anything for dinner. So we want them to tune into their hunger and fullness cues. We don't want to override those. Like if they're legitimately not hungry, that's fine. They can still sit at the table and be a part of the conversation. And maybe we offer that food again later. I also want to say like flexibility is important because kids

Sarah Schlichter (14:57.61)
food preferences change all the time and that can be really frustrating as a parent. So I shared a few episodes back about how my daughter had recently tried quinoa with cinnamon and she loved it. She was like eating it every day for a week and eventually it got old. She's not into it anymore. She recently said, I don't like quinoa with cinnamon anymore. I didn't say anything. I kind of just let it go. I said, okay, well maybe we'll try again next week.

Or maybe we can try a new flavor in there. So I can't control. We can't control what they're going to eat. If we're making them eat, the long-term consequences are so much worse. So we can control our consistency and how we react, but we can't control how much food they're going to eat. The next thing I've changed is, and I wouldn't necessarily say I've really changed this, but

we are very consistent in that there is always a fruit or veggie. Always. And sometimes it might be like a non-dinner thing. Like I mentioned, sometimes there's energy bites that might have raisins in it. It really depends on what's being served for dinner. If it's a new food, if we're serving leftovers, et cetera. But there's always fruits and veggies there. And I went through a phase with my three-year-old who would not eat peppers. The girls love peppers. They would eat them every

every meal if they could. But my son just would never ever try it until recently. Like something clicked a few months ago and now he loves them. And that's why I say just to keep introducing something, keep serving it even if you know every plate comes back untouched. At some point things can change and every kid is on their own taste journey and their own comfort journey.

and we don't really know when they're gonna feel comfortable. Maybe it's like they saw someone new at school eat it or their best friend ate it at school. Or they finally just saw you eat it for the hundredth time, but maybe you tried it with Italian dressing instead of hummus or vice versa. Sometimes things just click at odd times throughout their learning cycle and hey, it works.

Sarah Schlichter (17:11.958)
Another thing I've kind of evolved is I don't cook every night. honestly, with activities and owning a business and all of the different pickup times and a husband who travels for work often, I don't stress about this. We do take out maybe once a week, but honestly, in my grocery shopping each week, I'm planning to get things like rotisserie chicken, quick cooking rice, frozen veggies, like easy bases to make a meal, bagged salad kits.

So my girls actually enjoy salad. They love Italian dressing. like even them eating some veggies in a bowl and having rotisserie chicken or chicken tenders on the side. I say like no cooking smoothie bowls. We do those a lot and those can actually be so nutrient dense. If you're using dairy milk or soy milk, you can add chia seeds, hemp seeds, flax seeds, yogurt for probiotics, protein, right? Fruits, veggies.

It really can be a great way to get in nutrition and especially in the summer months. But honestly, on those busy nights when I don't want to cook, smoothie bowls and we might top it with cereal. Quesadillas. I can honestly do those in the microwave if I need to. So I don't count that as a cooking meal. So easy. Great way to use canned beans, which I really try to get those in a couple of times a week. So many benefits. So budget friendly. So easy.

pasta. There's so many iterations. We might do tortellini. We might do like a legume based pasta, just boiling water on the stove and we'll have a veggie on the side. So I do think my kids have good palates, but honestly, sometimes we're just doing plain easy, for lack of a better term, meals and we're okay with that. I know that having young kids is a season of some sort and

Sitting down and eating together is so much more important to me than spending 30 to 40 minutes on a new recipe and ignoring my kids or putting other things aside to cook from scratch every night.

Sarah Schlichter (19:23.064)
The last thing is asking them to try foods without pressure. And again, I think along with the commenting on how much they eat, this is hard for parents. Like we may have been ingrained with the clean plate club, like you have to eat this mentality. And again, I do not fault my parents or any parents out there who are doing the best they can. You know, there's so many kids starving, finish your food.

The pressure really does backfire. And honestly, think about if someone's telling you that if you don't eat that food right now, you're not gonna get X, Y, Z. Like there's a consequence. Maybe you're legitimately not hungry. Maybe nothing about that food looks appealing to you. Maybe it's arising a lot of anxiety. One of my most popular episodes is with a dietician named Sally and she talks about being a picky eater growing up and...

the feelings associated with that and how she felt when she was around new foods and forced to eat them. It was a really great episode. And I think it'll give you a little bit more empathy and thinking differently about picky eaters. But if they're not gonna, I will ask my kids to try something. I will not apply pressure. Hey, would you be interested? Do you think you'd wanna dip that steak tip in a little sauce? Or do you wanna try it on this little piece of naan bread?

like I'm gonna do. If they don't, it's no big deal. Like my job is done, I served it on the plate, I introduced them to it, they watched me eat it, but if they're not gonna try it tonight, that's okay.

I think a lot of people really kind of put and sugar kind of goes along with this. Put sugar on the pedestal and if you don't eat this, there's no dessert. You're not going to have sugar, etc. I'll just say for us like sugar snacks are not an everyday thing. We I buy them. I have things. We have dessert. It's not an everyday thing and I really don't stress about it. I couldn't even tell you it might be like.

Sarah Schlichter (21:32.206)
four or five days a week. Sometimes it's with dinner, sometimes it's after dinner. Oftentimes it's on movie nights. I mean, sweets are here. They're far from the main part of my children's diets, but I want to normalize that kids can enjoy sweet foods and still grow up with balanced habits, right? And we have a whole episode on sugar and kids and how much they should need and where to find sugar.

hidden and things like that. And that is episode 31. But as we wrap up this episode, I really want you to keep the long-term perspective in mind here. Remember that developing healthy eaters is a marathon. It's not a sprint. We are all learning over time. As parents, the way we feed our kids, like it's an evolution. We are constantly exposed to new ideas or social media for better or worse can introduce

new ideas and new habits and the way we feed our kids now might not be true in a year or five years and probably not true from three or four years ago. So focus on patterns rather than the individual meals or days. Again, if your kid didn't eat anything for dinner tonight, it's not the end of the world. Look at the pattern, the week, the month and trust that your consistency will pay off, right?

We want to remember there is this balance between structure and flexibility. We don't want to be overly permissive and too willy-nilly. There does need to be structure and boundaries. And I think that's where that division of responsibility comes into play. Like you decide what is being served, but the kids decide what is going to be Ian. These mindset shifts for me came from experience, mistakes, and letting go of pressure. So.

I know over time we will all evolve. And lastly, just remember that feeding kids is not about control. It's about trust, consistency, and connection. And fun. Let's throw fun in there because we can make it fun. That's it for today's episode. If you enjoyed this, please leave a review and share it with a friend who you think could use this help. I will see you next time on the Managing Mealtime Madness podcast.