29 | Afraid to Ask for a Raise? Here’s the Mindset Shift Every Working Mom Needs featuring Dorothy Mashburn

Are You Still Underpaid… or Just Afraid to Ask?

👉 Do you want to earn more—but panic at the thought of negotiating?

👉 Feel like you should be grateful for your job, even if you're overworked and underpaid?

👉 Or maybe you tried asking once... and heard “no.” Now what?

In this episode of Career Growth for Working Moms, I’m joined by Dorothy Mashburn, executive recruiter turned negotiation coach, to unpack why so many career-driven women stay stuck—and how to shift your mindset, strategy, and income with just a few simple steps.

🔥 What You’ll Learn:

✔️ The mindset traps keeping working moms underpaid (and how to reframe them)
✔️ What most women get wrong when asking for a raise
✔️ How to use business priorities to frame your impact—and get that yes
✔️ What to do when they say “no” (hint: it’s not over)
✔️ The difference between confidence, charisma, and quiet power

💬 Key Quote:

“Think of yourself as a business. You’d never feel guilty advocating for your services—and you shouldn’t feel guilty now.” – Dorothy Mashburn

🛠️ Try This Action Step:
Start building your Want Portfolio:
💼 What salary do you want?
🍼 What flexibility or support matters most?
🎓 What benefits would change your day-to-day?

When you know your value and what you’re asking for, you stop sounding “pushy”—and start sounding powerful.

🔗 Connect with Dorothy

💼 Ready to Lead with Confidence & Calm?
🚀 Take the FREE Leadership Style Quiz to uncover your strengths and unique leadership path
📩 Join the Facebook Group for exclusive career tips and networking

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Artist: http://www.twinmusicom.org/

💼 READY TO LEAD WITH CONFIDENCE & CALM?
🚀 Take the FREE Leadership Style Quiz to uncover your strengths and unique leadership path
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Kat and Tanner by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Artist: http://www.twinmusicom.org/

Transcript

Shannon Fox:

Hey, Working Mama, are you secretly scared to ask for a raise, worried it'll damage your reputation, or get you labeled difficult? In this episode, negotiation expert Dorothy Mashburn reveals how to rewrite that fear and ask for what you deserve with calm, clarity, and confidence. If you're tired of being overworked and underpaid, this one's for you.

Intro:

Hey Mama, welcome to Career Growth for Working Moms. If you're stuck in a job that doesn't fit or burning out trying to do it all, you're in the right place. I'm Shannon, a career coach and fellow working mom. Here you'll get simple career strategies and strength-based leadership tips to help you grow with clarity and confidence. So grab your coffee—or reheat it for the third time—and let's do this.

Shannon Fox:

Hello and welcome! I'm thrilled to have Dorothy Mashburn with me today. Dorothy is a negotiation strategist and former executive hiring manager who's led over 500 successful deals and reviewed hundreds of top-level candidates. She's on a mission to help women break free from silence, self-sabotage, and low offers by teaching negotiation, executive presence, and confidence-building strategies that actually move careers forward. Her work centers on closing the gender pay gap and helping women show up at the table with clarity, presence, and power. And today, she's sharing exactly how to do that.

Dorothy, welcome. I'm so glad you're here.

Dorothy Mashburn:

So thrilled to be here, Shannon.

Shannon Fox:

So you've been behind the curtain, being at the executive level. From your perspective, why are women still being underpaid, and what can they do about this?

Dorothy Mashburn:

Yeah, you know, it's a big question. There are a couple of different reasons. One is, we are still behind the eight ball. A lot of women initially didn't ask, and so they didn't get paid, right? So that was something new for us to say, "Hey, I want to raise my hand, and I want to get what I'm worth."

And then the second bit is now the research is showing that women are asking, but they're getting denied more. Part of it is gender norms—like what do we expect men to behave like and women to behave like? And part of it is the way we are asking for it. And so that's why I'm so passionate about teaching the right way to ask and get that pay increase.

Shannon Fox:

Yes. So what is the advice that you can give them on how to do it correctly—on how to ask for it correctly?

Dorothy Mashburn:

Yeah, you know, the way to do it is really framing and positioning your impact in a way that the business recognizes. You know, I'm working with a client right now. She went in and said, "I've done all of this work. I've done," you know, a list of things that she did last year—which is what a lot of the experts teach you—and then said, "Therefore, I deserve a raise."

Well, what is missing in that equation is a connect-the-dots to what the business cares about. Businesses usually care about eight things, and I have a formula called RECHARGE. We can put that in the show notes. But basically, it's revenue, it's cost, it's efficiencies, it's clients or customers, it's their workforce. So, "I did all of this, and this helped revenue go up by this," or "I did all this, and this helped cost go down by this, and therefore..." So connecting your impact to the business's priorities is what helps move the needle.

Shannon Fox:

Is there a difference—have you noticed a difference between asking for a raise versus going into a new job and setting that salary expectation upfront?

Dorothy Mashburn:

Yeah, good question. There is a difference, and it is a little bit harder when you are internal because you don't have as much leverage because they already have you, right, in the role that you're in. However, there are still ways to find leverage or create leverage for yourself.

When you go into a new job, they're basically competing for your talent. They may perceive that you have other options. They're a little bit more aggressive when they know this is a candidate they want, trying to get you into their company.

Now, when you are asking for a raise internally, you can introduce some competition by showing that you are a desired candidate in another function. Another way to do it is get a second offer from outside and create leverage like that. And again, it depends on the person and the situation. It's important to think about your options and then create that leverage accordingly.

Shannon Fox:

Yes, I like that. I can totally tell the difference between those two. So what advice do you give to these women that may be fearful? Because it is kind of scary to go in and say, "Hey, here's all of this information," connect the dots to what they want, but there is still a fear factor. What kind of mindset shifts or tips do you have for them?

Dorothy Mashburn:

Yeah, typically the fear—there are only a few fears, right? So if you name your fear, like, "Are you afraid they're going to say no? Are you afraid they're going to say yes?" Then what do you say, right? Like fear of success, fear of failure, fear of judgment, right? Do you feel like they're going to say you're being too greedy, or is it fear of damaging the relationship?

If you first identify which fear is coming up most for you, then you can start creating a narrative that's more positive. If they say no, what am I going to do? Action obviously always gets rid of anxiety. So if they say no, as a negotiator, "no" for me is a great thing because then I can problem solve.

So you say, "If they say no, then I can ask why," or "What can I do to change your mind?" or "What can I do for next year?" If your worry is that it's going to damage the relationship, think about your goods and services as a business. Would you fight tooth and nail for that? Think about your own services as a business, and reframe that concept. That will really help you with your ask and your delivery.

Shannon Fox:

I love that. And I love that you even say "no," when they say no, it actually—now you can problem solve. So can you speak more into that? Because I'm sure there are listeners saying, "Well, I've been denied—now what?" And how is that actually a good thing to problem solve?

Dorothy Mashburn:

Yeah, so when I'm negotiating a big billion-dollar deal, I know for sure the first time we ask something, the answer is going to be no. No is actually a good thing because when they say no, I can ask curiosity-based questions. "What's the reason behind you saying no? Is it a budget constraint? Is it that you don't think I'm ready?"

Any reasonable person will share, right? If budgets are tight, then you ask, "Okay, how else can I get compensated? Maybe I want to get my MBA." Usually budgets come from different buckets—your pay bucket and your developmental bucket. "Will you pay for my MBA?" Then you start going down that path and problem-solve that way. Or if they say you're not ready, ask, "What do I need to show to reflect that I'm ready?" That takes you down another path.

Shannon Fox:

Right. And I would expect that being career moms, that impacts even wanting to ask for a raise or negotiate. Do you have tips for them?

Dorothy Mashburn:

When we work together with my clients, we create a "want portfolio." It's what you want in salary and other compensation, like daycare support or gym membership. If they say no to one thing, you can trade for those things that'll help you.

Shannon Fox:

I like that. Great advice. Where can our listeners connect with you online?

Dorothy Mashburn:

I'm at DorothyMashburn.com. There’s tons of free stuff there. I'm on LinkedIn, and my podcast is Salary Negotiations Made Simple.

Shannon Fox:

Wonderful. Before we wrap up, what's one belief you'd love to rewrite for every working mom?

Dorothy Mashburn:

Think of your services as a business. Rethink your services as your brand. When you reframe yourself in that way, confidence will come.

Shannon Fox:

I love that. Thank you so much, Dorothy.

Dorothy Mashburn:

Thank you for having me, Shannon. This was great.

Outro:

Hey, working mama. I hope you enjoyed today's episode.If so, would you take 30 seconds to share it with a friend who's stuck in her career, but doesn't want to sacrifice her family to grow. 

Also, please leave a quick review on Apple podcasts. It seriously lights me up to know the show is helping you navigate burnout, find clarity and lead with confidence.

All right, time to shut down my laptop and pretend I'm not hiding from folding that laundry. I'll meet you back here soon for another episode of Career Growth for Working Moms. 

You've got this.